All Fantasy Everything - Words That You Think Make You Sound Smart (REVISITED w/ Zak Toscani, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

We're revisiting our favorite draft with all new words! Ian gathered the wrecking crew of Zak, David, and Sean and they drafted words that you think make you sound smart for the sec...ond time. 20 whole new chances for Sean to sound like a moron! Enjoy!Episode Guest:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show!Sponsors:CBS All Access: Get your first week of CBS All Access for free and stream Star Trek: Picard now by visiting CBS.com/Fantasy.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch: T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that started the podcast so Sean couldn't retort when I said Icing is gonna see Wynwood. Do it again. Think about it. Not even fucking close. Can I say, I think you like it. I think you like it when the chorus comes in and there's the choir. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:00:48 It's like, take me higher, you love. No. And he's like, whoa. No, I think he's an amazing. Take me higher, you love. Whoa. Yeah. That was good.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Cancel. Yeah. Not even close. No. That was just as good. Think about it. You say that he's a top five male vocalist.
Starting point is 00:01:10 That's not what I said. I said a recent addendum. I said top five white male vocalists. Last night as we were preparing for this podcast, we were doing our research last night. Yeah, we were doing some field.
Starting point is 00:01:25 We were in the field. Whatever. You can't record this topic without being hung over. That's what we found out last time we did it. That's how we did it. We researched heavily last night. Sean qualified that Steve Wood would come up and say top five white male vocalists.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Which is something. I stood up and opened the door when I said white. Never done. Which is a running list that none of us had in our own heads. No one has it in their heads. It's that's no list. Nowhere. Who's compiling that fucking list?
Starting point is 00:01:52 No one. White men. Yeah. Fucking. I said white. And then you tried to pump it like you would always say. I was pretty researched at that time. Pretty researched. You were deep into your bachelor. You and Regis Philbin went back through the researched. You were deep into your bachelor. You and Regis Philbin went back through the books.
Starting point is 00:02:08 You were up to your Dewey and Decimal indexes. I had been researching for a few hours at that point. And then this morning you said, Stephen Wood, better male vocalist than Frank Sinatra. Stick by it. Here I am just starting my research for the day. Somebody just crashed a car. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Because of your actions. Because of your white crossed actions. White man. Think about it. No, he's not. He is too. A lot more goes into being a good singer than just like the sonic
Starting point is 00:02:42 quality of a voice. It's not just breath control. My favorite singers are not probably by technical standards great singers. You know what I mean? Fred Durst. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't even call him a singer. Smash Mouth Guy. My favorite singers are by technical standards better than Steve Wynn.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Oh, absolutely. That might be because some of them are black. We can all agree that the best singer in the world is an Asian gentleman by the name of Mike Shinoda. We can all agree. Four minor. 100% reason to remember the name. 20%. 5% pleasure.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah. 20% pain. Break down Steve Winwood's voice. In percentages. 100% dank. Another 100% white. What percentage reason to remember the name? 40% British. 60% Irish. 10% Cherokee, but that's probably made up.
Starting point is 00:03:36 It's probably made up. Just says ancestry.com. 50% Scandinavian. 50% Ashavian 50% I'm sure you can sing just as well as Steve Winwood dude give us a think about it think about it
Starting point is 00:03:54 but like say it with your chest yeah diaphragm think about it push that shit out cancel David slap me again I tried to do the hustle and flow Yeah Cause you saw hustle and flow
Starting point is 00:04:08 Push that shit out Your neck was doing the thing Everybody knows what the thing is I like it when you sing it so hard It almost sounds like you're saying pamp Pamp It's hard out here for pamp dude we've i posted a picture of the tight cross on instagram yesterday while we were recording
Starting point is 00:04:29 i could well it's exactly what you look like right now it's the same cross uh like 60 people comment on how tight the cross was yeah it's like a waterproof it's like oh yeah it looks like you it looks like you covered that thing in thompson's water seal absolutely that's how tight it is that tight cross has been keeping the nation of Denmark high and dry for years. Huh? Sovereign. Sovereign. Sean Jordan in the crib.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I am. Seanis Jordan on Twitter. Guilty. Sean Patrick Jordan in real life. Guilty. Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram. Guilty. Sean St. Clown Posse at that insane Clown Posse concert that's coming to LA.
Starting point is 00:05:01 Fiance? He made their own, huh? One person calls you fiance? Fiance Knowles over here, dude. Sean St. Clown F coming to LA. Fiance? One person calls you fiance. Fiance Knowles over here, dude. Chancene Clown Fiance? Oh. Fiance? Something like that.
Starting point is 00:05:11 We'll get there. Yeah, we'll workshop it. Put it on the whiteboard, though. It'll be you. Put it on the top five whiteboard for Sean. I'll put it on the dark board and make a decision.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Top five whiteboard. That is so crazy. He's not a better singer than Smokey Robbins. No, I understand. It was just a crazy way to... You should have said like top five bad singers. David, I was heavily researched. I could see it in your eyes.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You were blinking. There was Roya, Abe Lincoln over here. Multiple bottles of research. Abe Lincoln, dude. He's's like it's morse code for I'm fucking hammered right now everybody knows when you get into your books you start blinking you're staring at the page real hard
Starting point is 00:05:55 you pit out you start blinking all hard is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to read you know that Maroon 5 song? Right? That's them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:07 At this moment, while people are listening, you will have performed at Snow Jam. We will have. Holy shit. How'd it go? It's probably pretty cold. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Pretty dank. A lot of Jäger bombs, I imagine. Sure, sure, sure. I think Peterson was probably there. Okay. And my mom was probably there. Laura was there. Nice.
Starting point is 00:06:23 So she's going to meet everyone. She met everyone. Crazy you bombed it for all those people. Yeah. Okay. And my mom was probably there. Laura was there. Nice. So she's going to meet everyone. She met everyone. Crazy you're bombing for all those people. Yeah. I'm worried about it. Are you? I thought it was wild that you went full Michael Richards. Yeah. But after the Steve Wynn would list it. I said top five white male vocalists.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I feel like you're going to do great just because you can do all these local references that you've never been able to do anywhere else. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can do that little shit. That local crowd work. Like lightly dog patch. Tread lightly.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Whiskey flats. He said little. He said Sioux Falls. Little shit. Yeah. You want to watch your back for the rest of the day. I don't understand. I'm just being.
Starting point is 00:07:01 I mean, if you want to, you can bring up the one escalator that that city has. The one Cadillac Escalade. Yeah. Owned by the same dude. Yeah, exactly. We call them Cadillac Muscalades, but that's neither here nor there. You can bring up the Redbox. All the dudes that hang out at the Redbox.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Yeah, that crew. I bet all the black velvet material will go over great. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be late for hot dish, Mom. The Redbox has I bet all the black velvet material will go over great. I'm going to be late for Hot Dish, Mom. The Redbox has a fucking line. There's a fight at the Redbox. We'll be here for hours. Someone got murdered at the Redbox and I murdered him.
Starting point is 00:07:35 I'll be here for a while. Anything else to promote? Go to Faded every Friday. I have an album called The Buck Starts Here on Special Thing Records. There you go. Order a flask. Give it. I have an album called The Buck Starts Here on Special Thing Records. There you go. Order a flask. Get it. I'll be in Florida at the end of February, beginning of March,
Starting point is 00:07:52 in Orlando and Tampa with Doug Benson. I think I can announce that. Sure. I don't know what you're looking at me for. It's not my calendar. It's fine if you do it on our podcast. Ian, did Doug contact you about what I'm about to say? He's not been in touch regarding it, but it is MLK Day, so I don't know. I got some spots for you in Tampa off'm about to say. He's not been in touch regarding it, but it is MLK Day, so I don't know. I got some spots for you in Tampa
Starting point is 00:08:07 off mic. I can go do some library. Places you can only get to on Fanbo. Where I can go do some research. I got a couple libraries in Tampa. Yeah, they got a lot of books people don't have out here. He doesn't like strip clubs. What? He doesn't like strip clubs. I hate them.
Starting point is 00:08:23 He won't go. Oh, that's right. Then I don't have any. I disavow all my knowledge. I have nothing for you at Tampa. White Tampa off your schedule. I didn't even get groceries when I was there. Sean is an earnest on-mic, off-mic no matter what. Drunk, sober, does not like strip clubs. I don't. Sassy's is okay because
Starting point is 00:08:41 everybody looks like they're having a good time. Even though I can't talk you into going ever. Yeah. Well, I also don't want to lie to Lauren because, you know. David Bore is also in the crib today. I don't really, I don't know. And also the demon who possessed David for a second. Yeah, I don't really know.
Starting point is 00:08:59 One of the Muppet noises. I was doing like six noises at once. We started talking about DMX. They bottlenecked my mouth. We talked about DMX. They bottlenecked my mouth. We talked about DMX while the sun was still out. That's my problem. We're all in a weird place. I for sure listen to MLP.
Starting point is 00:09:13 You're trying to sound like your grandmama and drag you to hell. Oh, that's Eddie Murphy's catch. That's the backwards devil talk. That's right. That's right. Boy, are we hungover. The GSL on Twitter. What do you got coming up? Nothing. That's right. Boy, are we hungover. The GSL on Twitter. What do you got coming up?
Starting point is 00:09:27 Nothing. There it is. There it is. Those are just the facts, man. Nothing. Yeah. Next person. Nothing new announced.
Starting point is 00:09:35 The news and the weather. Yeah. Is that you, Scotty? Yo. Next guy. Returning champion. That's such a funny thing to do on a podcast Yeah that's it
Starting point is 00:09:46 Keep moving Fuck outta here I don't play these icebreaker games Zach Toscani on Twitter Zach Toscani on Instagram Keeping it simple the same What do you got going on Come to Faded
Starting point is 00:10:00 I already said that Well come to Faded for me Instead of Sean. Sean's rarely there. Sean watches via security cameras, but he's not actually in the building anymore. He's the VP of Northwest Distribution. Yeah, exactly. He's working on
Starting point is 00:10:16 some trade routes. The spice trade. Yeah, come to Faded. Follow me. Follow me on social media. That's the best way to know what I'm up to. That's right. We're going to have some updates. We'll get some down dates.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Down dates, dude. You get some clown dates. Get some down to pound dates. Down to pound. Ground pound. Yep. Ready to, I'm going to probably start building a house again here soon. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Oh, yeah. I'm going to be back on the puzzle. I had to get a separate puzzle table thing. Are you kidding me? Oh. It wasn't a separate puzzle table. It can't be your coffee table. Listen to me.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It didn't fit my coffee table. It was way too big. So then I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. Right. You got to do the edges first. So I got to transfer it onto this thing that I got on Amazon. When you get big money, problems don't go away. You just start getting big money problems, dude.
Starting point is 00:11:03 That's what's going on. You're telling me, dog. Where do I go for a puzzle? Girls used to diss me. Now they write me DMs because I do puzzles. That's right. They're into puzzles. People are doing puzzles at my work, too. What's going on with puzzles right now?
Starting point is 00:11:17 I tapped into a vein. I didn't know. I thought it was just cool for me. And then as soon as I started doing it, all these people have been like, puzzles? I didn't know, i didn't know yeah it feels like he was doing a puzzle the other night really and they finished it and i saw him destroy it and they do it was tough they do so many puzzles though that you're like oh this is like such a form of escape because now you just as soon as one's done you're like let's just break out another one. You're in a puzzle. Yeah. You're in a puzzle I'd like to see you solve next.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Freaking Congress. With all the goings on over there? Yeah. I like to call it. I haven't brought this up in a while, but political. Don't you have a funny little kind of. I've heard he has a bit. I hate to.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I've heard he has a bit. Well, I hate to bring it up. Well, I've never heard it. I mean, I don't like it. Tell Zach. You're putting me on the spot. Okay. Tell Zach. Please. Well, you're going to love this. You're going to love this. You're going to love this. I think you are going to bring it up. Well, I've never heard it. I mean, I don't like it. Tell Zach. You're putting me on the spot. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Please. Well, you're going to love this. You're going to love this. You're going to love this. Yeah, I think you are going to like it. I think I tell everybody. If I know you, you're going to fuck it. Well, I always credit Ian when I do.
Starting point is 00:12:15 I say, this is my friend Ian's show. I hope you brought another pair because you're about to shit your pants. Okay. This is right up your alley. This is right up your poop. So you know the White House? 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yes. Right up your pooper. So you know the White House? 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Well, lately. Yeah. What with all the goings on? Political and otherwise. Political and otherwise. Both of those. Inside the Beltway? The White House?
Starting point is 00:12:36 I've taken to calling it. Hold on. And remember, this is what with all the goings on. Right. Current day. Current day, political and otherwise.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Right. I've taken to calling it the loony bin. Slam jam, thank you, ma'am. Listen, it's just like, I don't know. I can't take credit for it. Or you have to postpone the game for at least an hour and a half to clean up all the shattered glass on the court. I was just walking to get a coffee.
Starting point is 00:13:00 It was like, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I'm going to quit comedy. I mean, that's holy grail right there. It's like, the thing about that is it is funny, but I don't know if I would ghettoize it by just calling it comedy.
Starting point is 00:13:14 You know what I mean? It's kind of a bigger... It's kind of a bigger thing. But anyway... Feel free to repeat it if you want to, but definitely give me credit. I am Ian Carmel on Twitter on Instagram on Jewish Southwest Airlines app
Starting point is 00:13:36 you bring that up because you are Jewish 100% you know what I'll be honest I knew that I'll be honest with you right that. Playing the hits, dude. I'll be honest with you right now. I knew that. I was just doing a bit. Imagine if there was a Jewish Southwest
Starting point is 00:13:51 where they're like, that first morning, they're like, first, we'd like to welcome on all of our Jewish premieres. All right. Okay. Yeah. It's finally paying off. If any of these things were real that you ever bring up. One of them has to be real. Jewish J-Date.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Did you do that? It's a more Jewish J-Date. It's like the plus. Oh, it's Jewish Jewish J-Date. It's Jewish Jewish J-Date. Capital J-Date. Orthodox Jewish J-Date. J-Date Reddick, dude. J-Date
Starting point is 00:14:24 Reddick. Oh, I got to change my... Yeah, that's an app. Oh, J.Date Reddick. Oh, I got to change my... Yeah, that's an app. Yeah, you got to change your Twitter handle. I'm going to go ahead and change my Twitter handle real quick. J.Date Reddick. Are you guys boys? Yeah. That's so tight.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, podcast brothers, right? Yeah. I mean, we both have podcast... The same way that we're podcast brothers with Oprah. Yeah. From what I hear and what you were saying, it has the sound quality on that guy. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Did you hear that? Did everybody hear that? Oprah bitch on wax? Wow. All right. No matter how many private emails you get, Marissa, you do not take that out. Whatever damn it happens to you, we'll double it.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Make it louder. Put a drop in the echo effect on there. So somebody named AtBaronDam on Twitter just added us and said, I'm pretty sure they just paged a BadussiToodle at DeltaGate at LAX. What? Wait, BadussiToodle?
Starting point is 00:15:24 I'm pretty sure they just pay. Oh, that's my snack company. Who told? Who fucking told? Who leaked? David's version of ramen noodles is but does he toodles? They're like seven cents.
Starting point is 00:15:43 They just have pictures of white male vocalists. Oh, wow. Michael McDonald's preferred lunch. Tastes like Sting. Joe Walsh. Oh, Joe Walsh. Wow, look at the Richie Sambora.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Oh, dude, Sting definitely knows what Bidussi smells like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's a tantric sex guy, right? He's the guy who called it Bidussi. Sting coined it. Sting invented that term. A lot of people don't know that, and it's fucked. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Bidussi Toodle. You shouldn't be allowed on an airplane if that's your name. So, again, please, somebody tweeted that they just heard the name, but does he toodle at the airport? To the Delta. There's no way. I don't know. Unless that...
Starting point is 00:16:33 I think that there's a way. I think that somebody... I would be frantically looking for someone to be like, oh, that's me. I need to see what this person looks like. I think it's somebody who's a seven foot tall guy in a lime green suit for sure. I think it's somebody who's a seven-foot-tall guy in a lime green suit, for sure. I bet it's Bill Clinton's alias.
Starting point is 00:16:49 I bet that's what he flies under. I bet you it's someone's last day working at Delta. It could be named Bob Dussy Toodle. I mean, that's Bob Toodles. Maybe their name's B.A. Dussy Toodle. That's what I'm going to pen my memoirs under. B.A. Dussy Toodle. B.A. Dusty Toodle. That's what I'm going to pen my memoirs under. B.A. Dusty Toodle. Read it wrong.
Starting point is 00:17:08 B.A. Dusty Toodle. Speaking of which, one more thing. We're going to go to B.A. Dusty Toodles. Yeah. What is it? What is it? H.R. Toodle Wedges? H.R. Teddy Wedges.
Starting point is 00:17:19 He's by far my favorite B.E.A. era author. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy has a private eye for sure. A lot of people are into Ginsburg, but I like B.A. Dusty To author. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy has a private eye for sure. A lot of people are into Ginsburg, but I like B.A. Duskriddle. Yeah, a lot more. A lot more. Top five white. Protestants.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Grind soldiers. That's like actual Nazi shit. I'm so sorry. That's crazy. That's what they say in American History X. Oh my God. Oh man. It's all five Protestant rock fans, dude. Go! Top five.
Starting point is 00:17:55 The equal. Tall, white, straight, tall, narrow shoulders. Hardworking male vocals. Irow shoulders. Hard-working mailbox. I will be. Where's Sean Jordan? What do you got coming up?
Starting point is 00:18:15 I'll be at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin. Valentine's Day weekend. Sean Jordan will be there. We're both going to be there doing stand-up. That's a top five white city. Absolutely. We might do a little research while we're there. Yeah. Are you going to get the books a little bit.
Starting point is 00:18:28 You got some books you're trying to look up over there? It's going to be a very erudite. Can you use a cheese curd as a bookmark? Excuse me. Why is this library called HR Teddy Wedges? Also, I don't care. Get some cheese curds, dude. That's the only thing on the calendar.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Come to Madison to see us do the shows. Watch the Late Late Show. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. La la. Keep your eye on the Game On, whatever that's coming out. And keep your eye on the road. We're coming. We're coming.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All fantasy, everything. We'll be back on the road before you know it. It is your town. Fuck your shit up. No. We're gathered here. All right, everybody be quiet. Deep breath. Let's your town. Fucking your shit up. No. We're gathered here. Let's bring it down.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Not only to sort of notice how Zach brought harvest snaps, which are delicious. Can we get an endorsement for saying that? Yeah! Let's get some green pea snaps. Drop the bag, harvest snaps. Come on. Zach brought a bunch of those P-Rod dunks with green soles that I want.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Can we get a sponsorship from them? I told you. I found them for cheap, dude. I know. All right. Probably going to buy them today. Wait a minute. Yeah, buy them today.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I think I will. Prick. Shit. Shit. Dropped a prick on them, dude. I'm not hungover. We are gathered here today in the Fortress of Solitude. It's not only to call Sean Jordan a prick on him dude i'm not hung over we are gathered here today in the fortress of solid it's not only to call sean jordan a prick but also for this is the first time we've gone back to the well isn't it yeah this is the first
Starting point is 00:19:56 one ever part two because we knew immediately it was gonna be around two this is words that make you sound smart round two. A draft way easier. A list way easier to make than I thought. There couldn't be that many more words I don't. Turns out there is that many more. I woke up embarrassed where I'm like, because I can't wait to tell this first story. Unless one of you picks it.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Oh, God, I can't wait. It'd be bananas if you picked this word. The word bananas? Is it bananas? Yeah. All I have to do is remember, like, one past conversation. There's at least three words in there that I'm like, yeah, I can pick those. One this past week.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah, exactly. Last night. Yeah. Oh, God. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Let's play between the three of you, and we throw and shoot. Here we go. I'm shooting down.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David wins again. Fuck yeah, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. I'm shooting down. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David wins the game. Oh, yeah, baby. All the time with this guy. I feel like that's like four or five in a row. I'm hot right now. 96 Bulls. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Maybe you should stop wearing the Celtics shorts, bro. Maybe you should bring some different energy to the draft. Stop it. Zach, what the fuck are you wearing pants for, by the way? I just noticed. He looks really cool, man.
Starting point is 00:21:11 He's wearing a full corduroy sort of fucking fit. You look amazing. Chuck's got like cocaine on his shoulder. No, it's probably snot. I look like I just got kicked out of a bar in Boston
Starting point is 00:21:24 because I wasn't dressed well enough. It's my snot because of the cocaine I did. All right. I do have a sniffly nose. David, having won, paper scissors is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm unfamiliar with this. What is that? Serpentine. David also doesn't know what it is, I bet. No, I fucking know what it is. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. 168 episodes, I fucking know what it is. Do you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:21:57 Forgive me, it's a serpentine draft. My bad. It's like Donkey Kong. You ever played Donkey Kong? No. Really? Have you ever played Donkey Kong? No. Really? Have you ever played Donkey Kong? No. Well, so in Donkey Kong, you start at the bottom. You climb up a ladder. You go all the way to the right.
Starting point is 00:22:11 And then you dodge barrels and things. And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left. Then you kind of dodge barrels and things. Climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right. Kind of dodge barrels and things. Climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left. Kind of dodge barrels and things. And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right. And kind of dodge barrels and things. And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left, kind of dodge barrels and things, and then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right and kind of dodge
Starting point is 00:22:25 barrels and things, and then you climb up another ladder, go to the left, and you get married. Sounds like life. It's like Donkey Kong. It's a pretty good one. Is Mario a top five white plumber for you? Sean's like, well, he's Italian. I don't know if I... We don't really consider them wars.
Starting point is 00:22:47 I mean, what are my other options? Next we'll be including the Irish. Yeah. That round's been had. I don't know where that came from. Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. David, with that in mind,
Starting point is 00:23:06 what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to say Zach, Sean, David, Ian. Whoa! Oh, tight. I've definitely got a hot corner as well. We're going Zach, Sean, David, Ian. Zach, you also have a hot corner. Zach, you also have the first
Starting point is 00:23:23 pick in the Words That Sound Smart All Fantasy Everything Draft, which is only appropriate because it's a topic you came up with. When did we do this? This was like June 2017. Wow. I just pulled up the... So we did that one in the summer. This was a year and a half years ago.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Shout out to the encyclopedia of all the... Oh, yeah. Should we read off what was... Oh, yeah. We for sure should. June 29th of 2017. You want to read off what was... June 29th of 2017. Do you want to read off the picks we made last time? Yeah, so last time
Starting point is 00:23:51 Sean Jordan was first and he picked Superfluous. Which you had for your list now, right? I did. I'm so stupid. Aforementioned, Felonious, hyperbolic, and nefarious.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Zach Tiscari went second. He took basically. Dude, I tell that all the time. Basically, I'm thirsty. Basically, I tell people that shit so much. Juxtaposition. Oh, yeah. Quintessential. Uh-huh. Avant-garde. Basically, I'm thirsty. I tell people that shit so much. Juxtaposition. Oh, yeah. Quintessential. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Avant-garde. Oh, my God. And sycophant. Ian Carmel, you closed it out. You said wherewithal. You didn't do yours yet. Oh, I was next. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I said. Never mind what I said. Yeah, who cares? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. It's not important. I wasn't on that one. Don't listen to it. I said. Yeah, who cares? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. It's not important. I wasn't on that one. I said intelligence. Right out of the gate, I said
Starting point is 00:24:51 that. I'll be it. Beholden. Onus. Onus is a good one. Dude, Onus is a cool song. Polytheism. Ian, it doesn't come up often, but when it does, I nail it. Ian, you went last.
Starting point is 00:25:08 You said wherewithal. Yeah. Dichotomy. Oh, yeah. Sean. I don't like the dichotomy of this prison cell. My man. 25 to life over here.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Litany. Ostentatious. And Philistine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm surrounded by him right now, by the way. No, Sean's white. Tall.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Giving. Judicious. How five judicious male singers? If Steve Woodward's tall, maybe I'll give you that one. I bet he's not. I don't think there's a ton of judicious. Nah, singers aren't tall, man. If Steve Woodward's tall, maybe I'll give you that one. I bet he's not. I don't think there's any kind of tradition. Nah, singers aren't tall, dude.
Starting point is 00:25:50 No way. What if Van Morrison was like 6'9"? That would be hilarious. It's the fabulous, not for a low post game. He does always look way different than you think he looks. Oh, he's ugly. And he's blonde? I did not see that coming.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Ben Morrison's a weird looking dude. I thought he was like a maven haired trickster. No, no, no, no, no. Turns out he's a toe headed ding dong. What is maven haired? What does that mean? Dark haired. Oh, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I think he meant raven haired. I thought it was maven. No, I just said maven. Is that a thing? Yeah. That's a thing. It's a word that makes me laugh. Zach, you have the first pick in the words that make you sound smart draft,
Starting point is 00:26:29 and you will make that pick right after the short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk.
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Starting point is 00:33:06 Again, get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Everything. Zach Descon, you were on the clock with the first pick. Words that make you sound smart. Round two.
Starting point is 00:33:25 We're back for more smart words. Yes with the first pick. Words that make you sound smart. Round two. We're back for more smart words. Yes. My first pick. I'm going to go. I use this for sure a lot. Yeah. Vis-a-vis. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Is that even a word? Vis-a-vis, yeah. You do say that. Yeah. It's tricky because I don't know what it means. Neither do I. I do it loosely in context and I also do it
Starting point is 00:33:49 so much that I know it's probably wrong. I think it's like versus. Like Chun-Li vis-a-vis Ryu. I always thought it was like you're just trying to, or the way that I would use it is be like, listen, I'm just calling vis-a-vis our conversation the last time.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Is that what it is? That's right. Like in regards to? Yes. That's exactly what it means. Throwing it in so many times in a conversation is funny. That joke vis-a-vis what it means. Man, you do say that. I would leave a date if I was on it
Starting point is 00:34:22 and someone said that, I'd be like, wow. I gotta go. We'll split dinner. I'm leaving. You could someone said that, I'd be like, well, I gotta go. We'll split dinner. I'm leaving. You could say, Father, I'd like to have a conversation. You vis-a-vis me having some water. Basically, I'm thirsty. Father. Pardon me, Father.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Father figure. Father Yankee. Father Yankee. Daddy John. Daddy John Daddy John Excuse me I know I know you guys are very upset with me for vis-a-vis taking a buffalo wing
Starting point is 00:34:55 You looked it up You know how to spell it? Yes Do you know how to spell it? I think so How would you spell it? V-I-S Hold on How would you spell it? V-I-S. Hold on. How would you spell it? That's a very good one. I think David might know how to spell it.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Sean's getting some context clues. Sean's like, how would you do it? I had to hard swallow that LaCroix. I almost made it out of the casino with all the stolen money. You stopped me at the door. Nobody ever gets out. What's that over there in the back? Honestly, I'm going to spell it like a Visa card and a flying V.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Like V-I-S-A-V-E-E. That is not right. No, it can't be. It's all right. It's French. It's a French word, I believe. It's Latin by way of French. I thought it was... My guess is V-I-S-A-V-I-S. That's correct, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I wasn't. With hyphens? Are there hyphens? Yeah, there's hyphens. And one of these, like, boinks. Right above the A. Yeah, they got a boink on the A. They're boinking, dude. You don't know nothing about that.
Starting point is 00:35:51 You haven't found that in your research yet, boy. Boink? Why do you have a boner, David? Because of the boink above the A. You know what I'm talking about. David, I want to talk to you vis-a-vis your boner. David, I have some questions vis-a-vis your boner. Well, basically...
Starting point is 00:36:04 Basically, Zach's thirsty. It means face-to-face in French, I guess. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. No, I did not. I want to beat your ass vis-a-vis. Vis-a-vis, dude. When I see you, I'm seeing you vis-a-vis.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Yo, do you want to pose on you vis-a-vis me beating your ass? How should we pose on this poster for our movie? Like, back-to-back or vis-a-vis? Vis-a-vis me beating your ass? How should we pose on this poster for our movie? Like back-to-back or vis-a-vis? Vis-a-vis! Let's touch noses. Vis-a-vis. Whoa. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Fucking wild. All right, Sean, time for your first pick. All right. So I was at the airport the other night, and I'm scared to fly. I just am scared of it. You've been excited about this pic for like 48 hours. I'm oddly embarrassed, but I sound like such a prick.
Starting point is 00:36:52 So my mom called me, and she said she was getting her halo off, and I was thrilled. You do sound like a prick in this story. I go, when do you get your halo off tomorrow? And then she called me at the airport. This is a text that she calls, and she goes, when do you get your halo off tomorrow? And then she called me at the airport. This is a text that she calls. And she goes, well, I'll get it off tomorrow,
Starting point is 00:37:08 but all of my, all the screws are infected, so they might have to admit me. And I got really mad at her. I was like, how long have you known this? And she said for like three days, but she didn't want to worry me. And I might have even swore.
Starting point is 00:37:18 I was like, I'm getting on a fucking plane. I'm terrified. And now you call me with this? And she goes, well, I don't know. And I go, okay, so it's all conjecture at this point
Starting point is 00:37:27 I've never said that word in my whole in my whole life if anybody was next to me they were just like who is that prick he must be the doctor for the second opinion. I just hold my phone, walking through an airport, huffy. Okay, so it's all conjecture at this point. What's that lawyer doing wearing men's shorts at the airport?
Starting point is 00:37:54 Of all the times to try to dunk on somebody with a smart word. Your own mother. And then she said, she got so pissed off at me. She's like, conjecture. And I was like, well, you know, and I knew what I did. And she's like, say conjecture again. Yo, she burned it. And I was like, god damn it.
Starting point is 00:38:15 And then we got in like a pretty big argument. God, yeah. And then I got on the plane. Kelly Jordan for the win, though. Yeah, Kelly Jordan went dunking on me. That's when I landed. So I landed in Portland. And I was telling you guys last night but I always
Starting point is 00:38:27 told her I was like you don't need to pick me up at the airport and so she didn't pick me up at the airport and I landed I was like god damn it man I got home and I got like I took my contacts out and shit and then I go upstairs she's like you gonna breathe a little heavier a few more times I was like shit
Starting point is 00:38:44 alright I'm mad at all right there's nothing worse than when you're a little peeved and you're like audibly huffing and then someone calls you out because you're like damn they're right but like please let me have this I didn't realize I was trying to prove I did that too when my car died I was in the kitchen huffing and puffing and Ian's on the couch and he comes in the kitchen he's like
Starting point is 00:39:03 so you're breathing pretty heavy. Like, I noticed. Oh, yeah. Conjecture. Conjecture. Wow. I've never ever. I used it.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For sure. What a dickhead. Where did it come from? I have no idea. I haven't been watching any lawyer shows or anything.
Starting point is 00:39:23 In the way that it's like in that conversation. It's a lawyer term. Most of my words. Man. I'd like to imagine you saying that to the doctor would be so funny. This doctor is conjecture. He's like, so you're going on with your mom and you're like, okay, well, it all seems like conjecture at this point. You're talking to the doctor, calling him by his first name.
Starting point is 00:39:42 So, Alan, what you're telling me is conjecture at this point. Alan, I went to medical school for fun. So, it's all conjecture at this point. You're talking to me about infection conjecture? This is infection conjecture. Yeah, dude. Did you ever watch Schoolhouse Rock? I was so bummed after I said it.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I knew immediately, like, you asshole. Man. See, if I'm walking by and I hear someone say that, I'm like wow look at that person it totally fooled me yeah but not me if you saw me say you'd be like i saw that guy you're like you're at the cinna bunch so you're like so it's all conjecture at this point when you say you're out of frosting are you sure oh no so it's all conjecture you haven't looked in the back fridge yeah i know about the back
Starting point is 00:40:23 fridge you have root beer. You have cinnamon rolls. What you're saying is you can't make those into one thing. I told you, and I'll tell your manager, I'll pay for the frosting for five cinnamon rolls. I only want it on one. Find it. We're in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Find it. You're saying you can't do it, but I haven't seen you pick up the phone and make a call. It's all conjecture at this point. All I've heard is no. Listen, we're conjecturing here. Meanwhile, first of all, go give your boss a conjecture job
Starting point is 00:40:51 and get me more frosting. Put the frosting in my briefcase. Sir, can I go through your luggage? Yeah, I'm going to find a bunch of conjecture frosting and a bottle of sand in there. Right when we all agreed that this was going to be the topic, I got so pumped to tell that story.
Starting point is 00:41:09 What a prick. I just picture myself walking through the airport thinking I'm cool. I'm a comedian. We do a podcast. This is my job. I'm like, I'm fucking dope. And then strangers just hear me. So it's all conjecture at this point. You're not definitely going to be admitted.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Mom, the screws in your head. Vis-a all conjecture at this point. You're not definitely going to be admitted. That's what I said. The screws in your head. Vis-a-vis the screws in your head. I don't like the dichotomy of your voice right now, Mom. Why don't you screw your head on a little tighter? Fucking straight, Mom. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. David, this is not conjecture.
Starting point is 00:41:44 It is definitely time for your first pick. It's not conjecture, but vis-a-vis, I like to say tangential. Oh, yeah. Oh, it makes me feel so smart when I'm just saying that things are near each other. Like, David, can I park at the 7-Eleven or should I park it in front of your house? Well, they're tangential. The spicy garlic and the hot are tangential to each other. I like to keep the blue cheese tangential to the wings.
Starting point is 00:42:15 And, you know, that's me. I went to Duke, but whatever. You know, it's not a big, you know, you eat how you want to eat. I'm not here to judge you. Relating to or along a tangent. It's very simple. Hardly touching a matter. Peripheral.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Tangential. That is a great word. It is a perfect make you sound smart word. It sounds like a fruit. It's something you use. Oh yeah, I got dried tangentials. I picked them in the backyard. Every year, Southern California. I got hydrogenated tangentials.
Starting point is 00:42:47 You know what the secret to this chicken is? It's the tangential demiglace. A lot of people don't know that. A lot of people don't know that. I went on a first date the other night. Tangential is a really nice girl. Also, you spill something on a nice white shirt, spray some tangential juice on it.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Comes right out. Comes right out. That's all they do in Sicily. You spill something on a nice white shirt, spray some tangential juice on it. Crazy. Comes right out. Comes right out. That's all they do in Sicily. Yeah. That's old white. That's all they do in Sicily. Old, old Italian trick.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Tangential. That's so dope. Oh, that's dope. I'm afraid it's tangential. What color is my Fiat? It's tangential. It's not fucking orange. It's tangential, Debra. I remember when I was 17, I drank a whole bottle's tangential. It's not fucking orange. It's tangential, Debra.
Starting point is 00:43:25 I remember when I was 17, I drank a whole bottle of tangential Barnett's vodka. I can't even smell it. Yeah, I can't even. Get that shit away from me, dude. I just puke everywhere. That's tangential, mother. It's conjecture at this point.
Starting point is 00:43:42 No, I can't wear a tangential suit. I'm earth tones. We know that. Yeah, tangential. We sent the boys at West Coast Customs to paint your car. Okay, so like, we went with sort of a tangential with a...
Starting point is 00:44:00 What do you mean? Can I do that voice? You just did. It's specifically the guy from West Coast. What was his name? Ish? Yeah. Ish. I still think I shouldn't.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I apologize to everyone who's offended by me saying tangential in a Mexican accent. You're all right. I apologize. I'm not even going to open this accent thing. Yeah, tangential. That's a great pick. This is awesome. It was time for my...
Starting point is 00:44:22 Were you recently heard in a Lime Scooter accent? Please come to the law offices. Tangential, tangential. We work for you. Over the last year, tangential and tangential have won over $10 million in slip and fall settlements at Arby's alone in Southern California. We specialize in suing roast beef restaurants. Not just Arby's, but that's what top rounds.
Starting point is 00:44:49 We do RB and RV law. You do RB? Don't even bring up Salino and Barnes around tangential and tangential. Or Orphalian. No. Oh, man. Orphalian, the Orphalian tangential beef,
Starting point is 00:45:04 that's the Hatfields and the McCoys of LA County. They have a blood feud. It's like the Lycans and the vampires. Since they got here on the boats. God help you if you bring up tangential around Orphalian. You know where it all started? A four-way stop in Glendale. That's right. Two of them are still there.
Starting point is 00:45:18 That's my first... That's so funny. I'm writing... I'm writing a movie called A Four-Way Stop in Glendale. It's a sequel to Once Upon a Time in America. Well, here, now what? Oh, boy. For my first and second picks, as it is, as it is, as it is.
Starting point is 00:45:42 As it is. With my first pick. I made the earth sick. I made the it is. With my first pick. I made the earth sick. With the third pick I made the earth sick. My first pick. Perfunctoric. Oh yeah. I love funk.
Starting point is 00:45:56 I love disco. It's a real fun word to say. If you don't like my music. You ain't got to choose. This is not a funk riff that's working. It'd be fun to try to define that. If you don't like my music, you ain't got to choose. You know what would be a fun thing? This is not a funk riff that's working. It'd be fun to try to define that. Can you look up the definition of that word?
Starting point is 00:46:11 What do you think it is? I'd love to find that word. What do you think it is? You guys all know what it is. I have a pretty good guess. You see how freaked out Sean? It's not only that we're doing words that make you feel smart. Now Sean's doing this weird posturing.
Starting point is 00:46:24 He's doing strange things with his hands. Now Sean's doing this weird posturing that he's doing strange things with his hands. His back's up off the couch. He's touching the wall like Shane. I told you my back hurts, so I sit like this now. Now I sit up straight. I mean, what would you guys say that that were?
Starting point is 00:46:40 I mean, like we all know what it means. Like tangentially, what do you guys think? Vis-a-vis meaning. Basically, I don't know it. What do you think, if you had to guess? I have, will you do me a favor? Yes. And use it in a sentence.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Yeah. Please. It seems like you gave a perfunctory effort at best in English class. Weak. Yeah, minimal. You're doing that posture thing again. You're touching your arm. My fingers are all rigid.
Starting point is 00:47:09 What am I doing? My heart. Perfunctory, carried out with a minimum of effort or reflection. Would you use it as a sentence? Yes. Define perfunctory for me.
Starting point is 00:47:19 The person just goes, you. Damn. Damn. I thought we were kidding, Zach. Damn, son. And then you bring in some serious shit. Damn, son.
Starting point is 00:47:27 That's a good one. When was the last time you used it, you think? I'll probably sprinkle it once a month. Yeah, that's pretty good. Usually at work, you know? Yeah, when you need to swing heavy hard. In the middle of the sentence. Because if it comes up at the beginning or the end,
Starting point is 00:47:39 people are going to for sure bring it up. Yeah, you got to glaze over it. Louie's just in the back. Excuse me. Pardon me, what did you say? What do you think it means? I'm going to start drinking again. Did you say perfume factory?
Starting point is 00:48:00 He gave a perfume factory effort at best. First track off the album of the same title, Perfume Factory. Yeah. Sauvage. Sauvage. Don't you dare. Barrier jewels.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I'll drag you to the Galleria. Barrier jewels in the desert. I want to smell like a dirty guy burying all of his bracelets in the desert. I'm just going to Macy's. Which one smells like hell? I want to smell like I should be rich, but I'm broke. Sauvage.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Perfunctory, dude. Yeah. Yeah, this is perfect. Johnny Depp did not give a perfunctory effort in burying all that jewelry. No. He really got it down there in the earth. He meant it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Perfunctory is my first word. That's great. That's my second one. It's great. That's a word you can use where you try to jump in front of a problem. Like if someone's about to accuse you and you go, listen, I understand. My performance here has been a little perfunctory.
Starting point is 00:48:50 And then they go like, oh, wow, he really grasped it. You've reflected on it? You reflected and found the exact word that explains your behavior in this McDonald's. But the perfunctory was a Detroit area funk club. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the late 70s. It's where ABBA was area funk club. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the late 70s.
Starting point is 00:49:07 It's where ABBA was discovered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was just a guy named Functory, and you're like, perfunctory. It still holds the record for the most childbirths to happen in a place that's not a hospital. I've heard that. Man, the smells on that dance floor.
Starting point is 00:49:22 The perfunctory. The smells on that dance floor. The smells on that dance floor. Get a whiff of the sound of the 70s, you know what I mean? My second word, umbrage. Ooh, yes. I take great umbrage. Yeah. I take umbrage.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Now, Sean, what would you venture to guess? I like all soccer shorts, I really like Umbridge the best why do you know that Umbro is a brand of shorts but you don't know what the word Umbridge means that is so crazy and they never made mesh shorts because I'm not stupid I'm ignorant there's a difference
Starting point is 00:49:54 I was going to pick that you should have that on a shirt I'm not stupid and I'm just ignorant I'm not stupid I'm just not educated I'm not stupid I'm dumb okay there's a I'm not stupid, I'm dumb, okay? There's a difference. Either way, it's kind of out of nowhere,
Starting point is 00:50:09 but Zach's street smart joke. I got to see Zach do stand-up the other day. He's got a joke about how his sister's book smart and he's street smart. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's so fucking funny, dude. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:17 It is so funny. Is it on YouTube or anything? I don't think so. It's hilarious. I don't know. Everybody listening, find a way to watch it. It's so funny.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Clearly you gave far more than a perfunctory effort at writing that joke. I'm saving it for the BET cipher. So it's all fucking conjecture, isn't it, Mom? She took umbrage with that remark. Whether I vis-a-vis clean my room or not. Basically don't fucking look at me, stranger. People only say umbrage in the context of taking umbrage. Yes. That's the
Starting point is 00:50:49 only way I've ever heard of it. But what about giving umbrage? I'm going to give umbrage. Yeah, I'm going to start mixing it in there. That sounds like a sex act. Fucking umbrage. How was that date last night? Well, she gave me umbrage. I went to Cambridge Community College. Umbrage. I did my undergrad at Umbridge.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Yeah, I'm a dental tech now. It's probably my favorite Red Hot Chili Pepper song. Great way to save time. Oh, man. Oh, where am I living? Umbridge. Umbridge.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Umbridge. Where do I living? Umbridge. Umbridge. Umbridge. Umbridge. Where do I live, Umbridge? I'm an Umbridge troll. Under the bridge. What is the actual definition of Umbridge? Umbridge, offense or annoyance.
Starting point is 00:51:39 I've definitely taken Umbridge with a lot of people. Yeah. Not without consent, though. I'm taking it. No. No, God. I probably take Umbridge 15 to 16 different times on the drive to work. Oh, yeah. taken umbridge with a lot of people yeah not without consent though i'm taking no no god i probably take umbridge 15 to 16 different times on the drive to work oh yeah i believe that you've seen you've thrown an umbridge or two i've seen you take the most umbridge i've taken a lot of
Starting point is 00:51:55 umbridge you and adam have taken the most umbridge out of any people i've ever met i got a whole i'll pull a fucking u-haul trailer just to keep my umbridge in it sometimes it's like a golden gate bridge umbridge um's there to stay. That thing's going to last to stay in time. Earthquake proof. David, time for your second pick. My second pick is, this one is crazy
Starting point is 00:52:15 because it is a word that I know exactly what it means. And I pretty much always use it in an inappropriate context because I think it makes me sound smarter. I'm going with quarantine.
Starting point is 00:52:34 So you just expect me to quarantine my feelings for you? Jessica! I know what you're doing. Have you used it like that? I've used it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:46 I've used. Yeah. Oh, that's wild. I've said that to a woman. I'm sorry. I can't text you tonight. I'm putting my phone in quarantine. So I'm just supposed.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I'm just supposed to quarantine my feelings for what's important for you. Huh? Quarantine's my birthstone. It was also your name when you were a dancer. Go to quarantine. it was also your name when you were a dancer that's right give it up for quarantine funny thing about me Onyx is my birthstone and my dancer name at Sassy everybody give it up for Onyx
Starting point is 00:53:15 and the band you were in I gotta say if they said give it up for Onyx and you walked out that would be the craziest bait and switch. All right, we got a family that takes his dick out. You have a full business suit on, but like a big chain. The fact that in your mind you thought you could have been an Onyx is crazy.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Now, Sean, you're sure you want me to bring you out as Onyx? Yes. Yes. Yes. Kevin, shit. Yeah. They're sure you want me to bring you out as Onyx? Yes. Yes. They're going to get it. I'm here nine hours early. I want to be called Onyx. Yes, I am. I'm calling vis-a-vis my home equity loan. Oh, my name. It's Onyx
Starting point is 00:53:58 Jordan. What a cruel, cruel joke to play on a child. If I named my... Your prodigy? It would probably be a red-headed child onyx. Onyx. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Yeah, quarantine. It's right there. Sean, you know what quarantine means, right? I don't want to do this with everyone. I mean, I do know what it means, but this is the thing. It's hard to actually define. Like, to set aside or isolate. There we go. Ian's using all actually define like to set aside or isolate. There we go.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Ian's using all my picks and the definition for other picks. It's like a isolate triangle. Isolate as you apologizing for showing up to a meeting 15 minutes. Isolate. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Isolate. I was at,
Starting point is 00:54:43 I was Umbridge. And it went up. Oh, man. We are some stupid motherfuckers. We are stupid. We are silly, silly men. What is time? All conjecture at this point.
Starting point is 00:55:04 I'm sorry. I was so late. I was on bridge. Oh, so funny. I had to say it twice. I was on bridge. I didn't have cell reception. Well, I'll frack quarantine.
Starting point is 00:55:14 No. No. Yeah, quarantine, dude. Also, like, if you come back from space, you get quarantined for a minute. Yeah, yeah. In case you have any weird space disease. Or if you bring a weird animal from overseas. Yeah, you get quarantined for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. In case you have any weird space disease. Or if you bring a weird animal
Starting point is 00:55:25 from overseas. Yeah you get quarantined. And then you get married. Someone texts you like hey what are you up to David and you're like in quarantine and you just that's what you leave it at. When really I mean I'm just heartbroken. Quarantined. I love the romantic quarantine thing. My heart's gonna mend.
Starting point is 00:55:42 I love the new Quarantino movie dude. What's a fun time in Hollywood? Quentin Quarantino? Quentin Quarantino, dude. Quentin Quarantino. He's the Guatemalan Quentin Tarantino, really. That's the goddamn Guatemalan Tarantino.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Yeah, Quentin Tarantino. He's amazing. Talk with respect. What is it? Isolated Bastards? Oh. Sure. Quarantine.
Starting point is 00:56:16 Sean, it's time for your second pick. My second pick. The Star Wars. The Star Wars that came out. It might have been The Last Jedi. The first one with Kylo Ren. Oh, Force Awakens. Is that what it was?
Starting point is 00:56:31 Yeah. Force Awakens. Skywalker says this word twice, and I'd never used it before then. And then I used it heavily for about three months after the movie. And I was like, oh oh you sound like a prick but the word is hubris oh yeah yeah i i'd never said it in my whole life and then he says it twice in like the same scene and it bugged the shit out of me but i was also like i mean he sounds pretty cool you were also like the hubris my hubris didn't come in until like fifth, sixth grade.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Mine didn't come in until I was 37. Hubris. The hubris of saying that word twice in one scene. It still bugs me to no end that they said it twice in the same. I want to say it's the same scene. If that movie sneaks its way into the same movie twice, or if that word sneaks its way into the same movie twice, it's weird to me. Hubris. That's a once a movie word. We if that word sneaks its way into the same movie twice, it's weird to me. Hubris.
Starting point is 00:57:25 That's a once a movie word. We've said it like 14 times on this podcast. Hubris. It's also what happens if you get a circumcision when you have a big penis. That's hubris. That's hubris. I got hubris on bridge.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I'm here vis-a-vis cutting your son's dick it also sounds like a teen bully hubris yeah I can't go down that street hubris and his friends are there
Starting point is 00:57:54 hubris Royce cheddar yeah they took my fucking bike last week Royce Royce is a tough name Royce is a tough name
Starting point is 00:58:02 man we watched that Royce the 5'9 freestyle oh he's great oh he's good what did what did you say I was going to the bathroom what do you said like I wonder if there was a Royce is a tough name. Royce is a tough name. Man, we watched that Royce the 5'9 freestyle. Oh, he's great. Oh, he's good. I was going to the bathroom. What do you said? Like, I wonder if there was a Royce that was 6'4". Royce the 6'4".
Starting point is 00:58:11 And he had his differential. Yeah, they were like, well, Royce is coming. Like, which Royce? Which Royce? The tall one. Which Royce? Which Royce? Yeah, hubris.
Starting point is 00:58:23 And also, I spelled it H-U-B-R-I-S. That's how I'm correct. There's another one on here that I spelled it and it auto-corrected to two different words that sound like the word. My guess is going to be macaroni to macaroon.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Neither one of those make you sound smart. Macaroon? They don't make me sound smart. Unless you say I invented before either one of those. you sound smart. Macaroons? They don't make me sound smart. Unless you say I invented before either one of those. I'm saying your list. Are these macaroons or are these conjecture? Macaroons was a special battalion of pimps
Starting point is 00:58:54 that was in the Civil War. My great-grandfather was a macaroon for the Union. He was a green macaroon. First the cavalry, then the macaroons would go in,oon for the union. Use a green macaroon. First the cavalry, the macaroons would go in, and then the infantry. Oh my god. Send in the macaroons to chill everyone out. Is this macaroon
Starting point is 00:59:14 tangential flavor? Oh my god. Oh, that is a tangential flavor. Like I said, I got a tree in the back. The hubris you have to bring these tangential macaroons. Zacula, it is time for your second and third. Count Zacula from Glensylvania.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Second pick, I'm going to go draconian. Ooh. I don't even know what that shit means. I think it's... Okay, hold on, hold on. Define that. Please, David, try to define that word. Well, I think whenever I hear it in context,
Starting point is 00:59:46 it means something, it always sounds like something like torturous or something like that. Like you'd be like, oh, my boss is like, he's almost draconian with how mean he is to me at work. So that's, context clues would say something like that. Yeah. Ian just yawned.
Starting point is 01:00:04 What? Ian yawned and motioned at me No one puts baby in a corner Now give us your shitty version of it David's neck is saved Now it's your turn Do you have the hubris to think you know what it means? I can get boners Don't call me perfunctory
Starting point is 01:00:23 Hey, hey, hey I can get boners. Don't call me perfunctory. Hey, hey, hey. I can get hard. There's no conjecture about that. Have you seen me not get a boner? Well, that's conjecture. Exactly. The working title for Stankonia before Stankonia.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Stankonian? You're laughing a lot today, boys. I'll tell you that. It's your favorite wrapper and your least favorite vegetable. Oh, these are draconians. Broccoli clown posse? The insane carrot posse. That's it.
Starting point is 01:01:13 Carrots are definitely my least favorite. Turnip Shakur. Draconian. It means like excessively harsh or severe. Yeah. Beats by Dre. It's fun to use in like when you're definitely had day jobs where you put in perfunctory
Starting point is 01:01:29 performances day after day. Those are called jobs, my friend. And then they give you the what for. And then you just go, listen, I can do all this. I can come in here on time with a semi-smile on my face. But what I can't handle are these draconian rules that you are forcing upon me vis-aile on my face, but what I can't ignore are these draconian rules that you are forcing upon me,
Starting point is 01:01:47 vis-a-vis my life. Perhaps even foisting upon me. You got foisted. Man, Larry, you got foisted. If you don't foist, you last. Foist of all. You know, there's been plenty of reviews that say it's pretty much a podcast about nothing. Boy, they're right.
Starting point is 01:02:11 They are 100% right. If you're not Diane von Furstenberg, you're Diane von Lastenberg, my friends. Voiced and foremost, it's a podcast about friendship. Voiced and foremost. Voiced and foremost. Nobody even took feist. Draconian is what you picked.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Oh, I love it. We don't really have draconian rules about what we talk about on here. No, we're smooth. And your third pick? The opposite of that. I'm going to go portend. Wow. Mostly it's because a word, when you say it people go did you mean pretend
Starting point is 01:02:46 And you go no you idiot At least I was pretending to be a Dracula Stop pointing at me You better stop pointing that gun at my dad It's from Reservoir Dogs That's right Now that Okay
Starting point is 01:03:04 I have no idea what that word means Pretend Reservoir Dogs. That's right. Now that, okay. I have no idea what that word means. What? Oh, pretend? Portent. I know what pretend means. No, I said portent. You dickhead. I said portent.
Starting point is 01:03:13 It's cool tending for poor people. It's what the Republicans do with social welfare. These are my pennies. You don't have any idea. Absolutely not. Nothing. Give me a solid. Use it in a sentence.
Starting point is 01:03:25 I'm going to give it a shot. You want me to do it? That was the most serious I've seen Zach in quite some time. You want me to do it? And he goes, yeah, I think that'd be best. I don't want to portend to know what I'm talking about. I think that'd be best for everybody. I think everybody would benefit if you did it.
Starting point is 01:03:47 The fact that he was coughing into a rag earlier in the movie pretends something down the line might be happening. Kind of implies? Yeah. Really? It means to... It's like something bad in the future, right? It's a warning or a sign that something bad is going to happen later on.
Starting point is 01:04:03 I just love that that's the... That's the sentence that popped into your head, the fact that he was coughing into a rag. I watched Philadelphia the other day. A red herring? No, red herring is a different... That's the other way. A red herring is like something that misleads you.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah. Or it's just a red fish. I mean, it depends on the context. Some like budget Swedish fish. Ew, red herring. Red herring was the Scandinavian Red Fox. Man, I thought these were going to taste good. Sean.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Yes. Oh, David, cool shoes, dude. I've seen those before. Sean. Yeah. Time for your third pick. My third pick, when I was a child. This is when you make the earth sick.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I was a... Is that an actual line from something? Jay-Z And with a third pick I made the earth sick Yeah, I didn't know that Yeah, yeah Now I know that
Starting point is 01:04:50 Let's talk about Michael Jordan Because he was the third pick Who was the first and second pick? Hakeem Hakeem Olajuwon at the time And then Sam Bowie Really? Granted by your
Starting point is 01:04:59 Portland Trailblazers We had Clyde Drexler We already had Clyde Drexler. You know, he had a pretty dope nickname back in the day. It's Clyde the Clyde, right? Clyde the Clyde. If you believe my fucking idiot friend. Did he really think that or was he trying to convince you?
Starting point is 01:05:15 He really thought that. God, he was such an asshole. Sean. The Sean Jordan. So I collected cards when I was a child. But Dussie, the but Dussie, toodle. B-A, but Dussie toodle. Zach Toscani, the but Dussie University.
Starting point is 01:05:35 The but Dussie University. Ladies and gentlemen, your Laker girl. I got a B-A in Dussie. I got a B-A, D-Dussy. I got it. B-A-Dussy Turtle. Where's Pussy Doody? B-A-Dussy Turtle. A bit of a sore throat.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Thank you, my friend. I collected cards, and there was a football card brand, I think, that had this name. And so I thought it was a word that made you sound smart when I was a child. I had no idea what it meant. And I rarely use it as an adult, but I still sometimes will throw it out there. The word is pinnacle. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Pinnacle. So there was, I remember when I was
Starting point is 01:06:18 a kid, I would say, Mom, can I get a pack of pinnacle? I had no idea what pinnacle meant. That's one of the times on a Hawaiian pizza, right? She was making a bacon and pinnacle? She was like, Sean, I thought you smoked lights. No, I'd like a pinnacle-otta, please. If you like pinnacle-ottas.
Starting point is 01:06:36 What's that thing Jews eat? Pinnacles? Pinnacles. Are those pinnacles kosher? Is that a dill or a sweet pinnacle I hate sweet pinnacles I think it's a fried pinnacles don't come in here I'm looking at pinnacles
Starting point is 01:06:50 he likes some pinnacles in the background my grandma was a pinnacle girl in the 50's they painted her on a B2 bomber I like the hook after the punch Are they still picking hot ladies on bombers Or is that like just World War 2 I don't know if they still got bombers
Starting point is 01:07:10 You know a Air Force General so you need to find this out for us Yeah get us See what's up with the bombers Just be like listen I bombed a few times on stage Can we do a ride along in a bomber Get us in a stealth bomber Get us in a stealth bomber. We deserve it.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Do the podcast from it. We are live from... I can't tell you where. Just a whisper away from Redacted. You guys don't have to whisper. We're hovering over the Ukraine right now. We're quietly hovering over the Ukraine. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fans See Everything.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Yeah, man. Pinnacle. I knew immediately. I was like, well, that word sounds dope. It's fun to say. Yeah. And I never knew what it meant. I probably didn't know what it meant until 10 years ago. You may say taking Sam Bowie is the pinnacle of hubris. That is.
Starting point is 01:08:03 You know what I'm looking forward to? I like how you quarantined your bad takes. I take umbrage with it to this day. I don't know if you've thought about this yet, but the last time we did this, at the end of the show, you used all of the words in a... Oh, I've been thinking about it.
Starting point is 01:08:17 I'm looking forward to it. I've been sweating. I mean, I haven't been like... There's just blood dripping from the back of your head to keep it from us. Yeah, no. I'll get there when I get there. You keep saying earthquakes.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Anybody else? I'm taking the back roads, but yeah, I'll get there eventually. Yeah, pinnacle. Pinnacle. Pinnacle. Very good. It's got that hard C in there. Didn't you get in a fight for calling someone a hard C recently?
Starting point is 01:08:45 I'm a hard C, man. I'm a hard grip. There's no other way around it. Put the microphone by your mouth, David. Sean said conjecture, but it sounded like he was dropping a hard C at the airport. I saw it. I got your hard C swinging, I'll tell you that. I bet you do.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Hard Cs, that's what you call a Coors Natural, right? Not a Coors Light. Yellow dog or a hard sea. Yeah, it was T-minus some hard seas at the table. So it's just hard seas at this point. You want me to get two Yamasuns and two hard seas? Yamasuns. Those were all my grades were hard seas.
Starting point is 01:09:20 I never got it. I think they were probably softer than you'd think. I never got an easy soft sea that's what you need a cutting shark for is to sail through those hard seas dude Ian calls Irish people hard seas for some reason yeah yeah they call each other cucks
Starting point is 01:09:36 they do they love that word how come British people it's just like a normal word for them it's weird how it is so bad here. There are dignified, elegant women from England at my work who will say cunt. And they just like toss it in. And you're like, wow. Huh.
Starting point is 01:09:54 You know? Like not even at a, yeah, I was at Starbucks. The lady was being quite. Oh, he's a cunt. Oh, he's a cunt. Don't worry about him. They use it like a lunchtime swear. I think it sounds better than their accent.
Starting point is 01:10:06 It really does. It sounds so blunt in ours. Owee's a great cunt, isn't he? Even that, it's like the word means everything. How was Jamie's birthday? Well, he didn't go, but he's a bit of a cunt. A bit of a cunt. When I'm like, oh yeah, Jeremy's a cunt.
Starting point is 01:10:25 It sounds so much worse. Who's Jeremy? He's a cunt, I told you. I don't want to hang out with Jeremy. Yeah, no, you don't. I'm scared. Don't make me hang out with Jeremy. My college girlfriend used to say, cut up, no toast.
Starting point is 01:10:40 That was her. I don't get it. See you next Tuesday. Oh, yeah. Boss is being real. See you next Tuesday. Oh, yeah. Boss is being a real see you next Tuesday. You know, I get it. So you're off for the week. Someone doesn't get it. Wait, how did you get Paitama?
Starting point is 01:10:54 You said see you next Tuesday. It's Wednesday. You're here. I don't understand. Have I been foisted? Laura. David, time for your third pick. My third pick is going to be Yeah, this is one I also don't ever know But I know what it means
Starting point is 01:11:11 And it's like you rarely ever need to say it I'm picking Bastion Oh, Bastion Because it's always You're always trying to say something is the last Bastion I don't know what happened to the first Bastion Last Bastion Bach Bastion't know what happened to the first Bastion. Last Bastion Bach. Bastion Maniscalco. Get tickets.
Starting point is 01:11:29 Yeah. Or don't. Damn. Damn, Oprah and him. Remember when Sean said Oprah was a bitch earlier? I do remember that. That was crazy. Bastion, there's not much to say about it.
Starting point is 01:11:43 I'd like to run this one past Sean. What do I think it actually means? I'm going to try to define it Say that sentence again No David I'm asking you please don't listen to him He's not your dad please Use Bastion in a sentence please Oh he's the last Bastion
Starting point is 01:12:01 Of cultural relevance How'd that do it How'd that do it He's the last bastion of cultural relevance. How'd that do it? Or revenants. How'd that do it? Yeah. How'd that $5 worth sandwich come in? Sort of like a touchstone of something that was? Describe touchstone.
Starting point is 01:12:20 You know when you pick up a rock and you're going to throw it through windows? Sean's doing the thing when you didn't read the book. And he's got to do the book report. He's like, I could allow you. Touchstone of something that was. That is for sure book report energy. If you want to know what happens with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, read it yourself. Ten pages.
Starting point is 01:12:40 Miss Gladstone, I could go you in and out. I could rehearse the whole goddamn book for you in and out. What's that going to do for you? A touchstone of something. What I think the book was, it was a touchstone to something that happened before it. It was a touchstone of something that was.
Starting point is 01:12:56 A bastion, if you will. That sounds like something David Sedaris was like, nah, I can't call my book that. Now, excuse me, I must go to the men's room. I have to bastion bait. Excuse me, I must go to the men's room. I have to mastion bait. Excuse me, I'm bleeding out the back of my abs. I'm bastioning
Starting point is 01:13:12 in here. It's like beating off when you're mad, you know? Yeah, I mean, that is it. It's my stepson. Will you give me a solid read of the actual definition? Bastion, give me a beer. Well, there's two. There's one that's actually part of a fort. It's like part of a fortification. A bastion give me a beer well it's this too it's this one that's actually part of a fort it's like part of a fortification okay a bastion but though it's commonly used as an institution place or person strongly defending or upholding particular principles not pinnacles attitudes
Starting point is 01:13:35 or activities oh yeah kind of like a touch like a touch to something that was or something that will be i mean i'm gonna say that it could describe it. No. Super wrong. A touchstone is something that was. It means everything. It's the genius. It's anything. It's any of our words that we think.
Starting point is 01:13:55 I could be wronger. You'd have to give him a C just based on the hubris of saying that. No, I mean hubris is a touchstone to everything. How wouldris is a touchstone to everything. How would I describe a touchstone to something that was? My version of that was always, it's really about
Starting point is 01:14:11 innocence lost, isn't it? It's the story of America. You motherfucker. A touchstone of something that was. God damn it. You should get that tattooed on your forearm. Bastion, of course,
Starting point is 01:14:25 is Ariel's little friend from The Little Mermaid. Yeah. Bastion Salamanzi skates for primitive. You skate for flip. That's cool. It's a young French boy
Starting point is 01:14:35 that brought in full cab flips. A French boy. He's a young French boy. Time for my third pick. Make the Earth sick. We're going to make the Earth sick.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Shout out to David. I'm going to make the earth sick. Shout out to David. I'm going to use the word malaise. Oh, yeah. A little white wine. Put it on the fish. That's a malaise. Malaise on the side, please. That's how I refer to my ex-girlfriends.
Starting point is 01:15:00 I'm kind of hard, so no malaise for me. Is this malaise aioli? We can't land in Phoenix tonight, ladies and gentlemen. It's a little malaise for me. Is this malaise aioli? We can't land in Phoenix tonight, ladies and gentlemen. It's a little malaise-y out. Malaise aioli. We're going to land in Chandler. Malaise. Malaise.
Starting point is 01:15:15 You know what malaise means. One of you two, define it. Well, it's a country in the Asia Pacific. Malaysia. Malaysia? But it is just like a general sadness. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 01:15:28 I've been under a general feeling of discomfort. Yeah. Or like, yeah, illness, uneasiness. Just those Malaysia days. Yeah. Then the sun shines and I see your face. Or if I walk into the kitchen, you're eating my chips, and I'm like, Malaysia.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Malaysia. I'm a soleil malaise! I'm hot malaise! If you have multiple wives and you're going to the movies, malaise? Let's go to the movies. Yeah! What a sweet perfunctory perfume you have um my fourth word is we use our word way more in emails than i do in real life but i for sure get down with it on emails
Starting point is 01:16:17 and that word is heretofore whoa i've never heard that word in my life You've never heard heretofore? I don't think so I've heard it three times They're the best Scandinavian band playing right now It's got a J in it All saws, they all play saws They all play saws What's great about it is it's three words
Starting point is 01:16:39 that they just jam together to make one word Use it Huh? Oh I know I was looking for my context if they just jammed together to make one word? Use it. Huh? Oh, I know. I was looking for my contacts. I'm blind as a bat. No, you look good, though.
Starting point is 01:16:54 What do you want to do? Let me hear to for it. You're coming to me complaining about my basketball shorts when here to for you were fine with whatever I put in my legs. Around my legs. See, now here's a world you weren't ready for. My legs.
Starting point is 01:17:10 I still don't know what it means. Damn. Here's a curveball. I still wouldn't be able to use it. There are parrots in San Francisco where heretofore they were usually confined to jungle areas. Okay. I might be able to use it now.
Starting point is 01:17:26 Try it. We used to skate at the skate park, but then it closed. Heretofore, we skated the other one. I didn't even get close. Shane tore the batting cages. I nicked one.. I nicked one. So I nicked it.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Wait, is it a touchstone? It's a touchstone to something that was, obviously. God, we FaceTimed Shane at 3 a.m. Pacific last night. So funny. He was 3 a.m. your time. He had just gotten home from Syracuse. 6 a.m. his time. So buck. He's 3 a.m. your time. He had just gotten home from Syracuse. 6 a.m. his time. So buck. He's the new Orangeman.
Starting point is 01:18:11 He went to see if they would consider changing the name to the Cranberryman. Shigadoo. Here to four. Do you want to try using it again? I'd love to hear it. I would love to hear it. I don't. Zach. Oh, man. I don't. Zach. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:18:28 It's not all me. Shane. Rules. Shane has probably hair that's slightly off his shoulder where heretofore used to be down to his back. This wall, which heretofore had no burrito on it, This wall, which heretofore had no burrito on it, suddenly has burrito suspiciously high up on it. Taller than Shane's forehead. There must have been a second burrito.
Starting point is 01:18:55 Heretofore. All right, here's the facts. Okay. One person has a burrito. Yes. There's burrito on the wall. Two facts. It's taller than the person that has the burrito.
Starting point is 01:19:04 That's right. We don't know it yet, but it's a fact that he did it. Yeah. I still don't know. I think... Did he try to deny that he got burrito on the wall? He's going to deny it again. Again?
Starting point is 01:19:12 As soon as he hears this, he's going to get mad at him. You know the story, right? He'll get mad. I've heard it vaguely. We were sitting on Zach's couch. We had... Went to Olay Olay. We all had finished our food.
Starting point is 01:19:22 Shane... So here's what I think happened. Shane got up and he tripped on the end table that was by the couch because he tried to take the shortcut to get to Olay. We all had finished our food. So here's what I think happened. Shane got up and he tripped on the end table that was by the couch because he tried to take the shortcut to get to the kitchen instead of going the long way that was like three feet longer. He took the shortcut, tripped, and I
Starting point is 01:19:35 think he had burrito on his hand and smashed it into the wall. He had burrito on his non. Which is why it was above his forehead. Edward Burrito. No remorse. Edward Burrito. Blood on his hands. and blood on his hands. I'm not allowed to drink until I eat both these.
Starting point is 01:19:53 I would play Edward Burrito hands. Me too. I'm going to play it. Jersey Mike's hands. About 20 minutes here. Edward Jersey Mike 40 is a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:20:05 You don't want to meet that guy. Jersey Michael Hands? Edward Jersey Michael Hands? My name's Edward Jersey Michael Hands. David was playing Jersey Michael Hands last night and they were both two and us, so he went home. Jersey Michael Hands is actually going to go first
Starting point is 01:20:19 in the draft, I'm sure. He's got just core. The top end speed? Yeah, yeah, yeah guy the guy's solid man uh david time for your fourth pick okay my fourth pick is the word it's another one of those words it's pretty simple but it's just you know it's like putting a pig in a dress yeah it sounds fancier either way we're gonna kiss yeah i pick corollary. Corollary. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:46 From my understanding, dying out in today's oceans. Yeah. No. Yeah. Australia took a hit. The Great Corollary Reef. Now, Sean, I hate to keep doing this. You do not hate it.
Starting point is 01:21:01 At all. You don't hate it one bit, you fucking liar. This sounds like conjecture to me. You don't know? You don't know what? I will try to define corollary. I have absolutely no idea what corollary means. As a corollary, you're kind of an idiot.
Starting point is 01:21:21 That's the sentence? Yeah. As a corollary. No, no, no. I didn't it's like I went to the store today and as a corollary I'll be eating
Starting point is 01:21:31 steak for dinner heretofore I have steak to dinner a touchstone of something that is yes yes he nailed it yes C hard C I give you a hard C on that. My man's going to community college.
Starting point is 01:21:49 He is. Glendale community. Mom, I got accepted into a hard CC. I need five hard CCs. Five hard CCs of penicillin for some reason. A direct or natural consequence or result. Corollary. Or a proposition that follows from and is often appended
Starting point is 01:22:07 to. Don't forget that part. One already proved. Totally. I got a couple cases appending. That's basically what I said. After this we should kill a couple corollary lights in the parking lot. Yeah. Have a good time. Some lights.
Starting point is 01:22:23 Shotgun some corollary lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some C-minuses. Remember when I heard my older brother call a Corzine a C-minus for the first time? I was like, whoa. I've never heard that. Have you ever? No, I've never.
Starting point is 01:22:34 Have you ever heard that? I'm from Colorado. Yeah, man. C-minuses. I got a report card full of them last night. Yeah. Despite all the rigorous studying. Yeah. Still got C- C minuses 2.003
Starting point is 01:22:49 keep living like that I'm going to have a corollary by the time I'm 60 Sian time for your fourth pick so here's the pick that ended up being two words hearsay I use hearsay I think it makes you sound smart.
Starting point is 01:23:05 And I spelled it so wrong that it auto-corrected. I have hearsay on my list as well. H-E-R-E-S-A-Y is what it auto-corrected to because I spelled it so wrong. It's like, you love legal terms. Conjecture and hearsay are pretty similar, right?
Starting point is 01:23:21 Yeah, they are. I went to Harvard Law. Mom, what you're telling me, is it conjecture or hearsay? Yes. Yeah, they are. Yeah, I went to Harvard Law. They're corollaries. Mom, what you're telling me, is it conjecture or hearsay? Yes. Oh, they do. Yeah, I didn't really think about that. They are kind of the same.
Starting point is 01:23:32 Yeah. I feel like hearsay has a little bit more of a negative tinge to it. Conjecture is like, listen, we're just discussing things back and forth and there's nowhere to go. I don't like to get wrapped up in hearsay shearsay. It's all about the hearsay shearsay
Starting point is 01:23:48 bullshit. Yeah, hearsay. How do you spell it by the way? H-E-A-R-S-A-Y. No shit. There's also heresy, which is a very similar word. You've definitely used that word before.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Heresy. Heretic. I said heretic. I said heretic way more than you think I have. For sure. Yeah. Yep. Hearsay.
Starting point is 01:24:11 Hearsay. It's hearsay. Big Ivan Carmel draft for you, dude. A lot of legal time. It's going to be stoked. Zach, time for your fourth and then final pick. Yeah. Fourth pick.
Starting point is 01:24:22 I'm going to go transubstantiation. What? Yeah, dude. They don't let me do that anymore because they used to pay for the pint, but not anymore. I trans
Starting point is 01:24:38 transubstantiation. What did you just say, Sean? Substabulation. Hold it. I don't want any substabulation in this dance. First of all, I know you carry knives. Turnabout is fair play. I have no idea what this word is.
Starting point is 01:24:54 Let me try to guess what it is. Yeah, I don't know what it is. You're going to get it right probably, you dickhead. God. If you break it down to the root word. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Submarine sandwich. Submarine sandwich on a train. A sandwich you eat on a train?
Starting point is 01:25:11 A gas station submarine sandwich that used to be a girl. Yeah. Is that what it is? That was barely okay. Barely okay. Wouldn't have been okay if I said it. What?
Starting point is 01:25:32 It's funny that you said that. Transubstantial. Is it like blaming one thing on another even though they're not connected but trying to connect them? No. It's very specific. I only know it because I took a bunch of reformation classes
Starting point is 01:25:46 it's what separates Lutheranism and Protestantism from Catholics it's basically the 95 theses so Catholics believe that the
Starting point is 01:26:02 body of Christ is actually the body of Christ, whereas transubstantiation is basically like, no, this is a symbol. You're not actually digesting the body of blood of Christ. Yes, it is. Yeah. It's Jesus' body. And I use it so rarely. But when I get to.
Starting point is 01:26:21 I think you feel smart as fuck when you do. It's a hoagie that used to have a hang down, right? It's a what that used to? A hoagie. A hoagie that used to have a hang down? Oh, boy. I'm very hungry. They just get a sandwich.
Starting point is 01:26:42 I'm going to show on CBS coming out, man. I can't comment on any of this Oh man You're trying to talk about the Eucharist The Eucharist is another Are you Eucharist? I'm the Eucharist bro Transubstantiation Yeah
Starting point is 01:27:04 Amazing Fifth final pick Did you know that was on i don't know no yeah that could have been some midwestern shit you know it could be anywhere is it was it pert near did you pick pert near no no i did know what it means man a lot on the board but i'm gonna go man a lot on the board a lot of of words out there. A lot of words. A lot of words I say. Nouveau reach? Oh! Yeah! I've been saying that a lot, baby!
Starting point is 01:27:34 That's the thing you put in to try to get pregnant, right? No, she can't get pregnant with a nouveau riche. Oh, she can't. Alright, you put the goalie in. It lasts for three months. A nouveau riche is like a Patrick Waugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, nothing's getting by. Hot loads of the goalie in. It lasts for three months. A NuvaReach is like a Patrick Waugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Nothing's getting by.
Starting point is 01:27:47 Hot loads in a NuvaReach. Jumping them all day. Got a hot goalie. Hot loads. Oh. I don't like hearing you say hot loads, but it was, I do though too. I like it. It's funny.
Starting point is 01:28:07 That's the problem with hot loads. Way tighter than I wanted it to be. I'll tell you that. At first you're like, I'm not into it, but then you're like, I'm kind of into it. Do you want to try to take a stab
Starting point is 01:28:14 in nouveau riche or are you not interested? It's putting the goalie in. No, I don't want to try to do it. Well, I mean, it's crazy because I, again, I have no idea
Starting point is 01:28:24 what it means. Use it in a sentence, please. And then I'll give it a shot because, again, I have no idea what it means. Use it in a sentence, please, and then I'll give it a shot because that's what the people want. They want to get in a wreck on their way home because they're laughing at how dumb I am. The Kardashians are an example of nouveau riche. Yeah, for sure. Rich?
Starting point is 01:28:39 French for Armenian. No. You mean rich? Snobby? Famous? It's from what I understand. From my limited but extended vocabulary. Vocabulary.
Starting point is 01:28:57 I think it's someone. It's like new money. It's someone who's like risen in stature, but they don't know how to like operate within that world. That's exactly what it is. They're tacky, my dear. Kind of like somebody who would get his first real job and buy a dartboard.
Starting point is 01:29:14 And a puzzle table. Yeah, and a lot of video games. Let's not throw the puzzle table under the bus. It's Shane at any restaurant. I'd like the scallops on a cheese cheeseburger Can we put hollandaise sauce on the ribs I'll pay for it all But can we act like we're splitting it anyways It's more fun for me
Starting point is 01:29:35 Nouveau riche I just think this word sounds fun I don't know if I've ever even used it honestly But if I ever get to I'm excited affidavit you are going so legal what are you just like open up a legal dictionary I feel like you've just been to court and not known what was happening
Starting point is 01:29:52 you've been hanging out with your orfoliums? that's what I feel like I've been to court you said fuck David, affidavit you said affidavit love a David, support a David I'm not happy about it.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Affidavit. He's mad because I got one of those nouveau riches. I can't get pregnant. Do you know what affidavit means? Did you look it up? It's like a... I didn't, but I know it's like a testimony, right? Kind of? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Written? Yeah. Signed affidavit. Man, when you paused after a test, I was really worried. It's like a test you have to take? Is this a test you paused after a test i was really worried it's like a test you have to take is this a test of what you said legally yeah i just think it sounds cool that was one for me that i didn't really i've never signed we can't get married if you don't have the sign affidavit also how do you spell it do Do you know? I don't. I do.
Starting point is 01:30:46 Well, your dad's a lawyer. David, how do you spell affidavit? A-F-F-A-D-A-V-I-T. That's right. Really? Yeah. Damn. Yo, don't play me.
Starting point is 01:30:56 Stop it. Can I have your sandwich? No. Don't be a dickhead. Give me your sandwich. Oh, man. You're going to talk all this affidavit shit and then think I'm going to be out here giving you sandwich bites? The official AFVD laptop almost went ass over a tea kettle on that one.
Starting point is 01:31:13 I was laughing pretty hard. Don't be such a fucking dickhead. Give me a sandwich, please. Can I have it? Back in Christmas, I don't know. This might have been 10 years ago, I forget. Someone would open a present, and then my brother Bear would be like, I want that, and then he would grab it and take it.
Starting point is 01:31:32 That's really funny. So fucking funny. That's a really funny Christmas bit. Oh, my God. It's so good. That's a really funny Christmas bit. Affidavit, dude. Yeah, it just sounds fun to me.
Starting point is 01:31:42 Damn. I could say all these words in court, for sure. They all sound like sex trafficking rings, your Lord. Put them together. Anyway, moving on. Oh, it's my turn. Anyway, we don't need to dwell on that. Nothing to see here.
Starting point is 01:31:55 Moving on. David. David's pick. Mine is sublimate. Oh, yeah. It just sounds cool. I got to sublimate all the sumo re-shay into buying a dartboard. That's what.
Starting point is 01:32:09 I've got the vinyl of 40 Ounce to Freedom if you want to go into my bedroom and sublimate. Sean and I were sublimates the other night. We're blasting some blood. It got messy. Yeah. The final pick, my final pick, is going to be the word acrimonious. Ooh. Ooh. Yes.
Starting point is 01:32:27 The divorce was the fear of spiders. That is where Aladdin met Jasmine. You couldn't see it. Acrimonious. It's an audio medium, but David put his hand on John's knee. As if to say, I'll carry the load for a while
Starting point is 01:32:43 until you're forced to try to find this. Which is happening now. Rest easy, McKinney. I don't know. Take your final breath. Acrimonious? Is it a retired football player? Acrimonious LaVert.
Starting point is 01:32:59 Aren't you acrimonious? He was the first tailback in the wishbone back in Nebraska. He's good. He's a state senator now. Before I learned to act right, I was acrimonious. Yeah, no, I don't know what it means. You ever heard it before?
Starting point is 01:33:18 Divorces are quite often acrimonious. Loud, big, muscular. What? This is our divorce. So you call your kid a loud, big, muscular ex-football player. Acrimonious is the third lawyer between conjecture and... Well, he was the other Orfallian. Yeah. He was married in.
Starting point is 01:33:39 Oh. Orfallian, Orfallian, and Acrimonious. The fall before the Orfallians. Quincy Acrimonious will be late today. Acrimonious. It's Orfallian, Orfallianian, and Acrimonian. The fall before the Opholian. The Acrimonians will be late today. It's Orpholian and Opholian versus loud, big, and muscular. That would be the firm that I'd go to. That's a lot of DUIs at that firm. That's all they handle.
Starting point is 01:33:55 You'll be expecting mail from loud, big, and muscular. Just so you know. You'll be hearing from loud, big, and muscular. God help you. Did I name all three of my testicles? Hi, my name's Kyle Muscular. Loud, big, and muscular. Now, loud, big's one word.
Starting point is 01:34:13 Loud, big. Loud, big, fun, beef, oven. And the other one's called and muscular. Loud, big, fun, beef, oven. And muscular. My left one's loud, big. My right one's Loud Big, my right one's and Muscular. Loud Big Von Beef Oven.
Starting point is 01:34:28 Loud Big Von Beef. Loud Big. Loud Big Von. This is so we're clear. Loud Big Von Beef Oven. That's great music. My name. Don't make fun of my family castle.
Starting point is 01:34:45 Hi, Comedy Central. My name is Loud Big Von Beef Oven. Shane, we know it's you. We've already been on this channel. Yeah, my boy Loud Big's coming over. He just got out. He parked his car at prison for 10 years. Acrimonious.
Starting point is 01:35:08 It means angry or bitter. I have an acrimonious relationship with every other car on the road when I'm driving to work. I feel like I just got out of the dishwasher. I was laughing so hard. I'm like, I don't know if I have any juice left. This is probably what it feels like to just finish time traveling. Yeah. Or to run a long ways.
Starting point is 01:35:28 Yeah. Well, that wraps it up. Acrimonious being the final pick. Zach, you went first. And you took vis-a-vis, draconian, portend, transubstantiation and then nouveau riche sean you went second you took conjecture hubris pinnacle hearsay and then affidavit those are all of him shouting at court that's all from the same day you got probate david you went third you took tangential quarantine bastion corollary and sublimate.
Starting point is 01:36:07 All your sons. I went last. Sublimate for it. This is quarantine. This is sublimate. I'm going to be in New York for like six months. I'm going to sublimate my townhouse in the valley. I went last.
Starting point is 01:36:22 I took perfunctory, umbrage, malaise, heretofore, and acrimonious. Yours sounds delicious. Yeah, right? Sounds like a spread. What a nice bowl. We have a nice perfunctory cod dish with a beautiful umbrage of malaise. Oh, my gosh. We left a lot of good ones on the board, man.
Starting point is 01:36:44 I had Autonomy. Svengali. Mercurial. Svengali. Yeah. Trist was on there. Trist. IE.
Starting point is 01:36:52 I don't know if that would have counted. Anatomically. Well, anatomically. Teetotaler. Solipsistic. Pertinent. Pertinent. Sepsis.
Starting point is 01:37:01 Swarthy. Circumnavigate. I think Swarthy makes me sound swarthy. Fastidious. Fastidious. Sepsis. Swarthy. Circumnavigate. I think swarthy makes me sound swarthy. Fastidious. Yes. Yeah. Did we,
Starting point is 01:37:11 uh, cavorting? Did we do that one? I don't think we did. Okay. I was wondering if we did, and I didn't feel like looking it up. Valitudinarian.
Starting point is 01:37:19 What the fuck is that? That's a great question. All right. Yeah. Zach's dead. it's a touchstone Zach disappeared but his clothes are still here he just throws a smoke bomb and they still hold his form
Starting point is 01:37:33 but he's I had anamorphs goosebumps you just started naming book titles Amelia Bedelia The Giving Tree even goosebumps. You just started naming book titles. Amelia Bedelia. The Giving Tree. Well, that wraps up the podcast vis-a-vis drafting words
Starting point is 01:37:52 that we think make us sound smart. And although we were rather draconian about making Sean define some of these words, his ignorance of them does not portend anything bad for his future. He's a very nice, smart guy. He's getting married soon. Perhaps in a church. Perhaps in a church where transvestitiation
Starting point is 01:38:07 happens. It'll be full of people. Old money. Broke people. Even the nouveau riche might be showing up in the form of David Borey and I. And I say that as conjecture. I think we're actually both very tasteful people, though I haven't seen this townhouse in the valley lately. It is a bit hubris, me saying that.
Starting point is 01:38:24 Perhaps the pinnacle of hubris, if you really want to get into it. It's hearsay is what it is, Sean. It is a bit, it shows hubris, me saying that, and perhaps the pinnacle of hubris if you really want to get into it. It's hearsay is what it is, Sean. It's hearsay. And I will present a sworn affidavit at the door of anyone who thinks my friend is Nubo Rich. Well, that is tangentially
Starting point is 01:38:36 what we were saying. I kind of got off on sidetrack here, and I will now quarantine that thought for a moment. This is the last bastion of sanity in this godforsaken world right now. A corollary to that is there are other good podcasts, but this is one of them.
Starting point is 01:38:48 So we have to sublimate my ego for a moment so we can continue to exist in the entertainment industry, although I only give it a perfunctory effort because, as everyone knows, I'm kind of egotistical, the umbrage of which has never caught up with me, so I'm going to keep acting the way I have until a malaise strikes me. My comeuppance, if you will.
Starting point is 01:39:06 A dark cloud washing over the Carmel household, which has heretofore been brilliant and kissed by the sun and good fortune. At which point, I will develop an acrimonious relationship with my own psyche and dive into the bottle. Jesus, dude. Wow. I mean, you don't need any more wind in your sails. Hard work all day in the gym.
Starting point is 01:39:29 I bought myself one pillow. No pillow case. All day alone. That was awesome. For those of you who can't see, I lit the lighter. He lit the lighter. We want to hear your words. of course, All Family Everything. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:39:52 Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick. Yeah. We love you. Shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick's picture of her as a kid. Seriously. That's all her Twitter pictures. You dork, we love you.
Starting point is 01:40:06 Headband is the best. Oh my God. What a precious little kid. I have not seen Marissa in such a long time. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. We see her all the time.
Starting point is 01:40:15 Damn it. Bro. What else? Oh! The AFV Patreon members. There's about 800 of you right now. Thank you so much for holding us down. We could not do what we do without you.
Starting point is 01:40:27 We love you so much. We're about to start putting out playlists every month. I think we'll start that in February. You guys paid for this Jersey Mike's. Yeah, the Jersey Michael hands did. You guys paid for a fucking wedding ring. How about that? That's right.
Starting point is 01:40:41 I wouldn't have been able to do that a year ago. You paid for it? Yes, but Sean stole one. The crazy thing, it wasn't for any of the three of us. Michael Bolton. We gave it to Michael Bolton. Yeah, shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit and the Patreon. That's what I was talking about.
Starting point is 01:40:58 Oof. I started bleeding on the back of my head after I did that whole run of all the words. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I saw Stigmata just open up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Butterfly effect, dude. Stigmata, they come. Stigmata, they fall.
Starting point is 01:41:16 What's a stigmata with you? Nothing. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Horseback Riding on the Beach, bro. Shout out to Harvest Snaps. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Horseback Riding on the Beach, bro. Shout out to Harvest Snaps. Shout out to Harvest Snaps.
Starting point is 01:41:30 Shout out to Pure Leaf Sweet Tea. Uh-huh. Shout out to Bill Walton. Shout out to Malaise. Yeah, Malaise. He's got Malaise. Shout out to Walton Goggins, dude. Shout out to Walton Goggins. I saw him at Proof Bakery, dude. Really?
Starting point is 01:41:45 Yeah. What was he getting? Food. Nice. Yeah. That's who you went. What are you getting? Food?
Starting point is 01:41:52 What are you getting? Food? Nice. Me too. You can get a lot of it here. It's kind of an industry thing to get, huh? I'm in it. I'm in the industry.
Starting point is 01:41:58 Yeah. You run around with a pinnacle in your mouth? Let me ask you a question. You're in the entertainment industry? Pinnacle? Run around the house with a pinnacle? That's perfect. Laser! Yeah, man. So
Starting point is 01:42:10 other than that, and most importantly, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Be a Dussy Tootle! that was a hate gun podcast

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