All Fantasy Everything - Wrestlers (w/ Mike Mulloy, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

This is the Thursday we see you in the ring! Mike “The Big Enemy” Mulloy joins us to draft WRESTLERS! It’s been a loooooong time comin! Bout to hit ya off the TOP rope! From the TOP side of town!    Boston! December 15th we're recording a live podcast in your city! Get your tickets at linktr.ee/allfantasyeverything.   Guest: Mike Mulloy @handsomeadult IG: @fakemikemulloy Stand-up dates: linktr.ee/mikemulloy   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail]  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting professional wrestlers. Our guest today is comedian and enemy of the podcast, Mike Malloy. Mike is the host of Faded Comedy and the Faded Happy Hour. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and joining me as always are my friends and comedians,

Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get drafting. welcome to another brand new episode no you got it you got it i got it this is all i got this is all i got to them this is another brand new episode of all fantasy everything the podcast that is is pretty sick yeah man is pretty fucking, but it's giving it to you anyway. Both barrels and the butt. Do you think you got COVID or is it just you're a dork? I haven't tested yet.

I hope it's not COVID. Do you have butt COVID? I have butt COVID. Butt COVID's gnarly, man. I started butt COVID, dude. I sat on a bat and yeah i think my butt has covid i think my butt has covid it keeps you're gonna get a little you're gonna get a more subduity in carmel this episode uh just so you all know but i'm still

gonna be funny and just classic he's classy just dropping classy classic lines the whole time in the cut funny in there deep in there i saw a tweet today implying that most white people haven't seen friday and i guess that's true what is that about is that true i think that movie's like a hit like a hit hit i mean people have usa network we watched it in the hotel right i think every white kid i laid eyes on when i was a kid saw that movie because i was right next to him so are we just self-selecting though is this just like the people we know have all seen friday maybe i don't know i mean even people like in elizabeth watched have seen friday i don't think we regularly watch the movie belly in our in our white neighborhood so

maybe like yeah i don't think that's I think that's an age thing, though. We're all belly aged. Yeah, that's fair. How old are you? I'm about belly years old. Belly is dank. How old am I? I've tried to get multiple people to call me

sincere years old. I haven't seen the sequel to Belly. That's how many years old I am. I've seen it i work with a dude named sincere really yeah see that's how big of a movie that was yeah because what else is he named after that couldn't be other than like the uh way of speaking i can't imagine it's crazy because i work with a dude named buns and it's the same situation shout out to every dude out there named after a belly character it's funny i call my nephew o-dog and nobody because nobody that i associate with in

laura's family has seen menace to society so they don't know that i'm calling him a character from menace well they do now because our Uncle Jay listens. I had to stop myself from calling a female co-worker O-Dog. Why'd you stop yourself? I stopped myself. Why? I did, but I wanted to. That's dang. I don't know.

O-Dog and then bark? It's at work. I get it. It's weird. Sometimes at work, you don't want to tip your hand too much. I was their boss. You know, I like I don't like she went to Stanford. I don't think I should have done it. I probably not going to pick up on that. I pulled our house and Dana, Dana Schwartz, who grew up in a very white, very Jewish area, has not seen the movie Friday. So I will be seen half baked because that's arguably not a racial movie.

Baby, have you seen Half-Baked? If she hasn't seen Half-Baked, then I think, I vote we throw it out. She hasn't seen Half-Baked. Yeah, then we throw it out. That's an of the times. That's an of the times. If she's seen Shrek recently.

Not gonna do that. I saw the cookies she made on the gram. Those things look ill. Espresso cookies? She's been baking the last couple saw the cookies she made on the gram those things look ill espresso baking the last couple days on the gram looks like amazing i i i she's so fucking good at it she just like made sesame pinwheel cookies and a cake that involved a butternut squash now i haven't tasted this because I'm trying to Thanksgiving detox, but like it looks and smells so good that like I have to hold my hand in a candle to not eat it. I can't, she makes so good of making.

I didn't know where snacks, like if you had just been like, Oh, we've got a bunch of sesame pinwheel cookies at the house that have been like, well, you know what? It's a tough time in their country.

And I think that's good for you to do that. We're fostering a couple of sesame pinwheel cookies. We don't call them sesame pinwheels. Sean S. Jordan is here. Sean Cougar Melton Jordan on Instagram. Sean in a hotel in San Francisco on the bed. Yeah, dude. It looks like you're in bed, but there's room behind you is that right i love those hotels i love it when that's

the case there's not as a mirror behind me oh big old mirror okay okay i see still cool still cool lie to us dude lie to us lie to me well you know i tell you i'm doing really good i'm in love man so i'm just happy with the city of san francisco or i love my wife dude i'm just you know is it this kind of podcast today i'm in a pretty fucking good mood man so yeah you get yourself clam chowder and a sourdough bowl that's probably what happened i hate clam chowder you are an idiot i love you it's so i love you like you love your wife not like you love your wife but whoa that's bad i love you like i love chowder and it's crazy that you don't love chowder it's not it's seafood it's

cream and it's like it's like sea cream it's the cream in the clear dude that's not how you sell me miracle whip soup you don't sell me by calling it sea cream that sounds crazy what's wrong with sea cream dude i'm sorry it's blood cream does that make you feel better no it doesn't it's not gonna make my butt covet feel better either i don't think what if i said i pulled up in the sea cream coop you think that was cool that is really cool that was a cool thing to say i would want to purchase one now i'm good man i'm oh you know what? If I may, can I?

I'll probably say a lot of cool stuff throughout this episode just so people are ready for Everybody out there listening, do me a solid and come see Simon Gibson in Portland, Oregon December 29th at Faded. It's not that time yet. No, it's definitely not that. Well, no, it is actually. I guess it is. Sorry.

I was just doing me a favor. Please. You'll love it and it'll be great. Did you say December 29th? I did. You know who might just stroll right into that show? Jeremy Piven. Jeremy Piven, dude.

Jeremy Piven? That was a PIV? Faded zone. Jeremy Piven. He's canceled on us too many times. Listen, we're not booking him again. Not after all he's done. You can see him at Faded. You can see him at Faded Portland. You can see him at he's done. You can see him at Faded.

You can see him at Faded Portland. You can see him at Faded LA. You can see him at Faded Denver. I think we might have a couple superheroes in the house in December. I think another comic who lives in Portland that people like might be there. I think maybe a good friend of mine who is from Portland might be there. It'll be fun. I think we might

just have a silly fun time at that show. I think we might have a silly fun time. Other than that, yeah, I'm still in love man i'm good i got so andy gave me so much free shit i got like a whole new wardrobe yesterday i have these pants on i'm so you give me new pants tell them to send me something i want it yeah i got some shit for you we're the same size now so i seriously yeah which i saw a picture of us the other day at a christmas party where it was i think uh jen's house maybe eight nine years ago i was slamming a 40 and you're drinking a tiny little coffee and i'm looking at it like the same when you say us slamming a 40 is it you were slamming a 40 you're drinking a coffee ian was drinking a

tiny little coffee so much more sense I got a 40 just tipped back like really enjoying it and then Ian's just right behind me in the background tiny little coffee. It was just fun. We're the same size but I weigh a lot more

on kind of the penis weight. That big dick? Yeah. That's right. There it is. That's another cool thing. That's another cool thing. David Borey is here.

Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Hey. twitter you're not you're not on twitter he saw it all coming i saw it all coming i was like i'm taking this thing down from the inside out oh twitter's good now man it's fun it's great is that what's been going on no it's horrible it's crazy how bad it really is mike's still on there so it's funny but honestly i've been on there a lot less each and every day um every time i fucking log on there i see tweets from elon musk despite blocking that guy in every conceivable way i really uh i'm just annoyed i thought ian was elon musk no i'm kyrie irving. I get confused. I'm Kyrie Irving. It's really great that I spent a decade building a fucking audience on a fucking platform that's completely gone to hell right before I go on the road.

Cry me a river. Yeah, listen, man. I'm also not on Facebook. I got a lot of good news. Oh, you want to see some fights? Go to my Facebook page david and just look and you'll see if i watched so many fights this morning when i woke up you sent us not fights aside can we talk about this that red you sent us from face somebody's facebook

there was like a fight at a bar oh man we don't need to name names but yeah so he i feel like i'm cutting you off david where you know no keep talking about this it was really weird he he said in so many words it was like hey if you're out fucking around and you don't know how to act you can get killed remember that just out it was like very very specific to a certain person and then somebody commented a woman commented it's like his grandma right yeah i thought it was like his mom or something right so a woman commented and she goes hey maybe you should chill out uh you know and and cool out a little bit and then the next comment he goes well you see grandma the thing about being alive is you can die anytime so we were like you were telling a great story and then we're just like

we're like dog it was nuts to to not i get it if it's just like a girl you went to school with but you're like bro that's sure put a little respect on it yeah but also you know real recognize real she knows his mom's probably a real one his grandma's probably a real one they're they're all living by the same rules right that's probably just the language they speak it's what cameron said people people die every day, Grandma. Yeah. It's in the bloodline. Yeah, because I had to send you that

because I'm like, okay, this I'll give it to you. This sounds white Gatorade. I had to give you that one. That and about six full Torahs of other evidence that we heard about Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Oh, man.

You make it seem like we don't believe you. We are all on board. Yeah. We were in the Cups last night, and I was going in about it to some strangers. It was very funny. To some strangers? I'm like, man, that is some crazy shit i just told these strangers you had the butter knife out and you were spreading the sea cream all over

san francisco dude i know that oh god to be young again now this comes out on december the 8th davidd, where can people see you do stand-up comedy? The week of Thanksgiving, come see me in, not Thanksgiving, the week of Christmas, come see me in Las Vegas at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club. It's going to be a weird, I always told myself I wanted to try to headline on Christmas, so it's going to be fun. I don't know if it's going to be good.

I can't tell. The hour's good right now. The show's good. And, you know, you come out and we figure it out. It'll be to be fun. I don't know if it's going to be good. I can't tell. The hour is good right now. The show is good. And, you know, you come out and we figure it out. It'll be weird for sure. Vegas on Christmas is going to be interesting, I think. I can't. I don't know what to make of it.

I think it's going to be amazing. Yeah, I think it could be actually pretty fun. Like, I would be bummed if I was in Columbus or whatever. No offense to Columbus, a place we had a great time. Sure, I'll tell you. But Vegas on Christmas, at least that's like that's a choice you know what i mean that's like a move yeah yeah yeah no i know what you mean like it's like that's kind of what i'm i'm like it's either going to be depressing or like this crazy weird cool thing i never had any idea about yeah i think it's gonna be great i've done worse gigs in weirder places but yeah so come to that uh if you know we're gonna be in boston but if you're

in denver go to faded on friday december 16th my man we're bringing in we're bringing in and out of town or shade and brendan is coming in to host that bitch. And then we have a host of your local favorite comedians that have been up throughout the year going on. Also, I'm calling it now, Deion Sanders, if you are indeed taking that job, come to Faded, bro. Come on out. He was launched alone. He's maybe not been to the show, but been in the building.

So it's already coach friendly. It's coach friendly. Also, shout out to the nooks they're playing great oh you don't make that face enough everyone out there listening it's fucking it's amazing if we have sierra and deon sanders living in our state at the same time something's gonna happen sierra deon sanders nicole yogich come on what's going on it's in the water connect david bory dude it's all happening it's all fucking happening the four horsemen this is that new shit yeah dude oh we gotta get deon sanders to the foot races next year at high plains yeah so tice can race him hey tread lightly you know what i got an x-ray i got a cyst on the base of my tibia they just found so i was

i was doing that race yeah when you were running i was like oh his form's okay but he looks like he's got a tibia cyst you're not you're not a cyst on my tibia affects how i do in a foot race in shape dude none of us are i'm sorry i was wondering where that where the period was going to be on that you and you got it none of us that's not that's not a you thing that's just an all of us thing i i claim no no more than two hours ago i claimed that i could swim from alcatraz to shore and i still think you're fucking nuts what are you saying we went and looked at Alcatraz. Every time I see it, I'm like, I could do it.

Have you been there? Yeah. You don't even swim like Sean. When was the last time you went swimming? When's the last time you swam a mile? Probably never, but I think if my life depended on it. If my life depended on it. You've never swam a mile in your life.

I think I could do it. Do you know how far a mile is swimming? It's like 10 miles walking. Is it about how far away you are from the microphone right now? Yeah. The water is cold. The water is choppy. It's unforgiving. It's dangerous. They put the prison there for

a reason, my friend. That's why they put it out there. It would be a tough swim. Yeah. It'd be tough for your friends and family as soon as i got done and i was on shore on the other side i'd be like that was hard to do but i did it that's what i was as soon as you got done and you were on the shore on the other side they'd be zipping up the body bag and putting you in the back of a fucking land rover and the seagulls would be pecking at your package david i've been blue since i was 12 playboy all right there he goes you check it all

right never mind now i think you could do it now i actually think you could do it they had to swim a mile at keen park why don't you go ahead just keep that a belief you never put to the test yeah i don't want you to swim in the ocean don't make me i mean we'll see i'm not nobody's making this is one of those things that you do where you're like don't make me drink this new tabasco flavored mountain dew don't make me don't put me in a situation where i'm gonna have to fucking do it they are selling 12 packs of that for a dollar somebody tweeted at me today 12 packs of the flaming hot mountain dew for one dollar it's crazy that they could get away with overpricing it so much what a bad idea that was to mass produce it's so stupid it's so gross that is pretty gross yeah it's the worst and i

like gross shit and it's bad and i'm saying that david any other dates no uh oh but montana i'm coming for you we're just locking it down right now in january i'm gonna clear that i'm gonna clear the one runway right now because somebody with a lot of dates coming up is Mike Malloy. What are you on Twitter now? Handsome Adult? Handsome Adult on the Twitter. I was telling Mike he looks like Charlie,

Sons of Anarchy right now. Oh yeah, for sure. I could see that. Yeah, you're hot. Yeah, going to be hitting the road quite heavily starting on the day that this drops. I'll be in Washington, D.C. from the 8th to the 10th. I'll be in Asheville, North Carolina on the 11th.

I'll be in Atlanta, Georgia from the 12th to the 13th. Birmingham, Alabama. Yeah, Birmingham, Alabama on the 14th. Back up to Raleigh. Birmingham, ho. I'm sorry. Back to Raleigh on the 15th. And then Charlotte, North Carolina on the 15th and then, uh,

Charlotte, North Carolina on the 17th. So Birmingham. Yeah. Yeah. Exciting stuff. A little tour of the South. Now,

if, if people want to revisit those dates, where can they find them? Mike Malloy.com. I will have those all up on there by the time this goes, uh, goes live. Uh,

so yeah, check that out. Check out faded every, uh, every Friday when you're in la we're on hiatus until the uh until the new year so come come uh come through we had a nice meeting today getting our uh getting our ducks in a row for next year and uh check out faded happy hour every wednesday it's a cocktail making show that we do every wednesday got a new uh new

bar here new setup uh we're looking good so check us out when you say ducks in a row you mean joey harrington's gonna take over from you as host right yeah we're flying achilles smith in and he's gonna uh and key on thibodeau cave on dude come on or whatever his name is i don't give a shit well um hell yeah go see mikey out there on the road my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on uh jewish well just jewish just right now i'm'm just Jewish. Jewish parlor app. Ian Carmel on Jewish parlor. Ian Carmel on Jewish, my beautiful dark twisted fantasy. Where? It's okay to listen to because it's just me playing his songs off my phone into a recorder. So it's technically there's a Jew involved so we can still sort of circumnavigate.

Come see us in Boston at the Wilbur on December 15th tickets still available we'll be in New York the next night on the 16th no tickets available two shows sold out at the Bell House thank you very much shout out to everyone on the Patreon we

every now and then I drop in on our Reddit and I was there was a point made in there that I think was a very good point which is that we've been slacking on the Patreon stuff because I mean we're all stupid busy is basically what happened but we're not going to do that anymore

we're recording a mailbag that we'll have out for you soon we're recording a movie podcast we'll have out for you soon also Sean's showing his dick Sean's showing his dick have out for you soon also sean's showing his dick sean's showing his dick dude sean's showing hog baby he's showing neck it's depending on what level of the patreon you're in you get to see more of it so yeah it's like in major league when they when they like every game they when they take a piece of clothing off we're gonna

have a big cardboard cut out of me every new subscriber we take a piece of clothing off of me we're changing the name of the levels to Root Shaft Head. And that's basically what you get to say. Oh, I don't... Root sounds aggressive. The root's inside your body. I've never heard it referred to as the root. I've heard the base.

I get why you would call it the root for sure. It's the root. Because I guess it's like, yeah. Because veins kind of look like roots this is getting too specific to everybody out there on the pay it does mean the world to us that you're on there and yes we will it is it is uh it's only going to get better i did a little uh i did a little live stream for an hour i think i might i think i might actually i just recorded an hour of me doing stand-up at revolution hall in portland i think i might actually. I just recorded an hour of me doing standup at revolution hall in Portland.

I think I might throw that up there. You're giving out the game. I think I might give out the game for just a short amount of time. I think I might put it up there for like two days. Oh, that's a good idea. And then pull it. So there it is.

Look out for all that and more on our Patreon. Uh, and thank you for everyone who's been fucking with us on there the whole time. More dates coming soon. And those tickets will be for sale first, as always, on Patreon as well. Now, we are gathered here today not only to just sort of listen to me be somber and talk like I'm being interviewed by Terry Gross, but also... Doesn't somber kind of mean bummed out? Because you don't sound bummed out.

You just sound quiet. I'm somber quiet. You know, somber is not necessarily bummed out. You can be somber in a good mood? I don't think you can be... Well, no. You know what? I think youmed out. You just sound quiet. I'm somber quiet. You know, somber is not necessarily bummed out. You can be somber in a good mood? I don't think you can be. Well, no, you know what? I think you're right. I think you're right, Sean. Yeah, two years at USD, baby.

They said I didn't learn shit. Gloomy and solemn. I guess I'm not somber. No, you're not. Bellicose? Bellicose? Bellicose. Is that another part of the penis that i don't know about no

bellicose is aggression and willing to fight it shouldn't be that's not what bellicose sounds like i love that my first instinct when sean said usd was for me to say something that i absolutely shouldn't say what is it say it yeah theucking Dick. Yeah, that's where he went. There you go, Mike. He only had to go for two years because he was so good at it. Mike's over here hitting you over the head, dude. Everybody out there, pull over, do what you got to do. That's funny.

Some things are just funny. But yeah, the University of Sucking Dick and the Dick Sucking Factory, two institutions that we'll look fondly on our time at. Made you everything you are today. You don't think you can just get a job at the Dick Sucking Factory, right? That's a one-time job. No, you have to know somebody.

You have to know somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody. Do a few favors. Absolutely. You've got to go to the fucking USD. Or SDU. It's actually the university of south dakota go yo yeah there's also sd tech if yeah if you're somebody who works more around the route oh you know what popped into my head the other day was pee poop baby sex laura laura was like you guys were laughing so it was when i i talked about how i used to i was like i

when i was a kid yeah i thought that there were four different uh areas on a woman that were used for different things pee poop baby and sex and then david said it sounded like an r&b group that i would have been in and then we were talking about how they played at the fair and it's like yeah pee and poop are here but baby and sex couldn't make it there's only three of them though there were only three of them right we had to figure out which one was it was people people pee and poop were there but baby sex couldn't show or sex poop or pee poop or baby pee i can't remember it's just as funny as it was ah hey it's not it's not hard to have a good time it's just as funny as it was when we did it

we're getting here not only to talk about pee poop baby and sex sorry pee baby which one of us would be which there's four of us who would be pee sex baby pee

you gotta be poop you gotta be poop I don't agree with this everybody start calling Mike poop when you see him on the street he's gonna get bellicose with you if you call him poop but it's worth it we're getting here today to fantasy draft wrestlers, professional wrestlers. We've never done it before, which is crazy. It's crazy. Only one of us.

No, we never did. We've never touched it. I have a very specific lane for wrestlers that, you know. Yeah. I just want to set an expectation for the audience. If you're like a big time wrestling fan, Mike's got you. I'll get you allall covered don't worry about it i might i might take a couple you know new japan wrestlers you got you guys will get

your fill don't worry about it we're gonna do our best but mike's got you on the head i was at lunch with kyle and he's his eye when i told him his eyes just opened up and he goes you gotta get weird yeah yeah yeah yeah That's my plan. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. That's what we call it. Rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shit.

How are we going? Rock, paper, scissors, shot! Ooh, David wins. David wins. He throws a paper against two scissors david's winning streak continues i don't know if it's a winning streak but david wins a lot i like it even when i no no let's it's just when i win we say the streak continues which is what a great way to live your life you know what i mean the streak continues never acknowledging the losses. Undefeated at Rock, Paper, Scissors.

300 plus going strong. I don't even know if it's like I'm mostly winning anymore. All right, David Boyd, I'm picking the order, right? Well, you are going to, but before you do that, I will remind you it's a serpentine draft. And what is that? Basically, it means it's... Oh, wait, wait, wait.

What is that? It's like Lombard Street, baby. I'm in San Francisco. You did it. Yeah, it means it's... Oh, wait, wait, wait. What is that? It's like Lombard Street, baby. I'm in San Francisco. Oh! You did it. Yeah, it just goes... It's like a snake. It was a beautiful street, by the way.

What a dumb idea, but such a beautiful street. Gorgeous. It just goes down a little bit to the left, a little bit down, a little bit to the right, a little bit down. Just kind of snakes until you're at the bottom of the hill. And then there's the real world house

where Puck lived, which is also kind of cool. They're at the bottom of the hill and then there's the real world house where puck lived which is also kind of cool they lived on lombard they lived like across the street from it that's so corny it is corny yeah that was like the last one that was real though where you're like i don't think it was scripted i think it was actually just six people living in a crib who hated each other two of them got married you know that no no judd and and uh i didn't know that i think it's karen judd and karen i think god they're still married yeah that's crazy not judd and karen yeah judd and karen man judd and karen got married judd and karen yeah what with their known personality yeah oh god i mean judd was doing his thing karen was up to her old tricks karen was on like unless i'm wrong and it wasn't karen i think it was karen

yeah judd and karen but judd for sure judd for sure oh that's crazy i never thought judd would settle down or i thought he would get married even sooner yeah it's like lombard street yeah it is like lombard street uh basically what it means if or I thought he would get married even sooner. Yeah, it's like Lombard Street. Yeah, it is like Lombard Street. Basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, David, with that in mind,

what will the order of today's draft be? Ian, David, Sean, Mike. Whoa! Thank you. Thank you. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. I never go first. Ian, David, Sean, Mike.

All right. Mike, how do you feel about that? That works for me. No, Mike can hold down the corner. You feel like saying hot corner or anything like that? Oh, hot corner. All right, cool. Oh, hot corner.

Oh, hot corner. Yeah, you feel like, no brush, no brush. You don't have to. Yeah. But it's open to you if you want it. Ooh, Sean is sitting. I probably imagined you were sitting crisscross applesauce on your bed, but now seeing it, Sean's going to have a very cute draft. Now I'm crisscross applesauce.

There he is. Crisscross applesauce. I like that weisscross applesauce i like that we're all friends and that makes me tell you that can i tell you this it's really hard for me not to talk in a loud voice i feel like i'm really that's why this is so fun because i can see you ramping up sometimes then you calm it down i'm like it hurts when i ramp it up it hurts but i feel you're not quiet you've never been quiet. You're pulling back the reins on a racehorse. Who just wants to run, baby. Yeah.

We, you know, but you're doing a good job of being quiet. Uh, yeah. Thanks man. Thank you. Well,

we're going to get to my first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age.

That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything. But it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle?

What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to

help you out. And they're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from

a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Somebody else want to step in here and do the and we're back? And we're back! And we're back!

Mike, you go, and we're back how is mike allowed to podcast so far away from the microphone it's crazy marissa was trying to be so nice about it but she kept going like basically was just trying to say mike pick your fucking mic up he's the enemy of the podcast i'm doing my best i don't know i don't think you are you're standing up holding the microphone the other microphone that I have Adam has right now so I'm sorry I didn't feel like going into details we just fucking rebuilt this whole thing Wednesday and some

things are missing so like if you sat down would you be closer to the mic no it would still be coming from the goddamn camera not an actual microphone okay when you say Adam, do you mean Maroon 5's Adam Levine? Because I know the two of you are close.

Mike doesn't mind how Adam Levine's mean to women. Is Adam Levine mean to women? I don't know. He's a bummer, right? He's just a dick. It took me a while to figure out who the fuck you guys were even talking about. I don't know who. Bad bit. Went wrong. Sorry. Apologize to everybody.

Fuck you, dude. How dare you. Fuck off, Sean. That's like a City Girls lyric. If you were the best City Girl, that would be... Who says I'm not? Me. Seafood cream, dude. Is that what we would say?

Seafood cream. Seafood cream. Yuckuck like fish soup gross that's literally what clam chowder is or like a cioppino you ever had a cioppino come on does it have seafood in it with the roscoe go get a ciopp with the Roscoe. Go get a Chipino, Sean. Change your life, dude. You got Monzel talking to me like that. I'll give you a Monzel right now. I'm gonna give you a Monzel in front of Peter Luger's in fucking Brooklyn next week.

Oh, man. Did Shane get us a reservation, or is Shane hoping to roll up on Peter? He did? No, he got us a reservation. He got us whatever his version of a reservation is, and I'm thrilled to see how it shakes out. I'm just going to leave it in his hands. I trust him.

I do, too. You think we're going to be eating in the bathroom or at five different tables? Yeah, what are you worried? He's an adult. Let me say this. If you got the reservation, I'd have a little more confidence,

but I do have confidence. It's a reservation. It's not... They give them to you because they want you to spend money i know the guy all right all right i'm taking the undertaker yeah same what oh yeah that's a number one pick for sure yeah of course of course yeah of course do so do you get the team no what are you talking about we had he had He had Paul Bearer with him, too.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's a manager. Yeah, he got his manager. I mean, he's just, Paul Bearer was the dopest part. He looked so crazy. That was the dopest part of The Undertaker to you? Yeah, I don't necessarily. I liked Paul Bearer a lot.

You are insane. I love you. You're insane. Oh, yeah. I'm out here shaking it up, man. Are you serious? What did you like? Did you like his little inflatable pouch under his feet?

Here's the real question. Here's the real question. Did you like the American badass? I don't know what that is. It was when he started driving a motorcycle and listening to Kid Rock. Nice. Wait, who did? The Undertaker.

The Undertaker, yeah. He changed. I didn't know that. This is like 03. This was after I was out. I don't draft that part of his career. Yeah. You draft the undefeated WrestleMania streak until what?

2014 or something? Undefeated WrestleMania streak. 2014, I think it was program. Here's what I like about Mr. Taker. He's got everything I'm looking for in a wrestler crazy big yeah he was six foot ten three hundred pounds i like when a wrestler is way too big to be a human uh silly was he silly yes he was very silly i think at different times they wanted us to believe he was dead and then he came back from the dead fun little outfit check he's got himself a fun little outfit wet a lot of the time oh yeah they're all wet man he

was almost always wet and i like when a wrestler is wet this is gonna be a wet draft by the way this is a very wet draft a wet wet draft um but yeah dude i like i mean i i the fucking is his finishing move he had a great finishing move the uh the eyelid flutter thing was fun oh yeah where he's 69 his opponent yeah dude it's awesome and then drops them on their head what's it called it what was it the power tombstone tombstone tombstone power drop right tombstone pile driver yeah tombstone pile driver that's right it's his opponent yeah 69 is his opponent so like it's not all bad for them you know what i mean a little slice of heaven before you take them to hell paralyzed i respect it because 69 is his opponent. Yeah, he 69s his opponent. So, like, it's not all bad for them. You know what I mean? A little slice of heaven before he takes them to hell.

Until they get paralyzed. I respect it because typically that's an opener. Yeah. 69ing? You close on it? Can't close on it. Nobody can close on that. I've never had the pleasure.

You've never even tried? No. Let's not get into this. He's going to make me mad with the stuff he hasn't done logistically it's not as good on on in in practice as it is in theory it's it's the same as it's the same as shower sex all the things on paper that once you fucking actually put into practical senses don't work really starts to fall apart not like you unless you're like david bowie or prince having sex then i imagine you know like no the undert or Prince having sex, then I imagine you could pull him off.

The Undertaker probably couldn't even do a 69, unless it was like with like... Ooh, yeah, with who? With who? You know what I mean? It would have to be like a WNBA player. 300-pound woman. His wife is a taller woman. She was a wrestler as well,

but I don't think she's tall enough to make it work logistically. No, I don't think so. tall enough to make it work logistically no i don't think so and then i also get uh i also get paul bearer so he's got it he's got everything i'm looking for yeah in a wrestler i want a weird dude you know what i mean i want to we i don't i like a weird wrestler like a silly guy the undertaker was the first one i remember where he they're all characters obviously but he was the one where it's like oh you're scary kind of i don't remember any other scary wrestlers before i do without naming picks i definitely do i had great ring music too that started with like the gong

right like the bell yeah because whenever you heard it you'd be like oh they would dim the lights down hella right yeah when he came out it was scary to me he was the first wrestler that was scary. I consider myself the Undertaker of this podcast, dude. Well, right now, with that sexy, somber voice you got, uh-huh. You didn't really talk much, right?

No. Not really. Paul Bearer did most of the talking, and then towards the end of the 90s, Undertaker started doing a lot of talking but he didn't talk ever was his thing for years right like he came in and didn't say a word right

yeah the first couple I mean especially the first couple months that he came in he was like just a mercenary of Ted DiBiase so he wasn't saying shit what are you doing yeah you're saying pics dog shit he's still available yeah well he better be here i was trying to give you an explanation some history and now i'm the son of a bitch

i'm sorry next time you do that pull your head out of your ass first and then you know fuck you i think that's where the microphone is so he's gonna keep it up there it's in a tin can in your butt? I still got it. I still got it. I'll be dead by the end of this podcast. I still got it. Got him.

Roasted. Got him, dude. Mike Malloy touring the American South. Still crazy after all these years. Dates available at MikeMalloyComedy.biz. Is that what it is? What? I thought it's my turn.

Dot com. Dot com. Oh, yeah. It is your turn. No, no it's not your pick i was just telling people david boy time for your first pick come on man stone cold steve austin yeah he drank beers on stage yeah he fucking he slammed the whole mcmahon family the whole family guys yeah one yeah that's a strong family what was his what did he say was this thing uh his like stone cold senso yeah is that what it was that's the bottom line yeah that's the bottom line 316 and dude he was an athlete who came out and pounded beers those are the only two things i liked at that age. Yeah, that's true. He swam in those beers.

You see that one where he spills a bunch of beer on the mat and then swims in it? That's fun. People still do it. When people do it like him, I still think it's cool. Any venue. You could walk into my fucking wedding while I'm about to say my vows. If you walk up on the pulpit and you,

I'll go nuts. i'll go ape shit yeah i love it whenever i see it yeah never wrestled like he was drunk though no also also denim shorts and work boots and a leather vest crazy what uh daddy right wasn't he? 90% of Austin's wrestling matches were just punches. Like, it wasn't like he didn't do a whole lot of wrestling moves. He was just throwing you in the corner and punching you and kicking you. He wrestled like a construction worker. I love it. Wasn't his intro music, how you knew it was him, was it a beer cracking?

Was the sound of his, like... No, it was the glass shattering. Oh, the glass shattering. That's right. And then you're like, oh cold's coming out yeah the denim shorts and then the other look which was like the skimpiest wrestling shorts yeah which was so funny because he was like just like walks like this yeah he seems cool he seems like a cool guy too he's like the best guy ever right there was a kid that we went to school with who kind of in the same way that i used to kids used to talk like butthead when i was in middle school

like beavis and butthead that was just kind of their personality this kid talked like steve austin all the time he just that was his voice that he would just operate with dudes there's worse dudes to mimic also austin 316 he was a man of the lord yeah that's true god appearing so that's protestant just a cut how do we feel about denim shorts just in general they are back dude the kids are wearing them really i hate them i hate them i can't ever tell where you're going or what you're doing they're back the kids are wearing denim shorts like you say everything is back culottes are you want to hear something you want to hear some old guy shit so i was coming down to san francisco and to go skating at this place and it's waller street in san francisco it's where all these the young skaters are going to be nobody here wears jeans so i went and bought pants so

i wouldn't look like a dork with jeans on when i was skating with all these kids what they just wear trousers they wear trousers they were like like khakis like you know gray whatever just khakis brown like it's just what kids in san francisco wear that nobody has jeans on that skates in this city so it's like cool to wear it's cool to wear khakis like pant you know what i mean like ben davis and shit and dickies and stuff like that yeah i brought i brought that back all those kids because you gotta understand those kids now they used to see me regularly at the bus stops throughout the mission the hate the embarcadero never wearing pants always dickies sometimes with the double knees yeah and uh they took they took they took

what i was doing and they ran with it yeah high visibility areas yep And now denim shorts are back. A lot of corners. A lot of corners. I was sitting on, standing in. Hey, Sean, pants might be cool, but you know what's a lot cooler? What? Being yourself, bro. I try. Trust me. It's not pants on, Team Strong.

That's all I'm saying. I kind of want to transition out of jeans a little bit. I don't know. I've been jeans my whole life. I'm close to getting a pair of cargo pants. You don't even know. Whoa. Yeah. That's not what I thought you were going to say.

What do you think I was going to say? I just like slacks. They got other pants. I got some polo golf pants the other day. Amazing. First pick, Sean. This is not what we're here to talk about. Yeah.

Stone Cold Steve Austin. Also Cold Stone Steve Austin. Shout out to Shane Torres making us a reservation at Peter Luger. Sean Jordan, time for your first pick. For me, I am going Macho Man Randy Savage. Oh, yeah, brother. And I'm doing that for a couple reasons, but one of which is he was a rapper. And so I loved him as a wrestler.

I loved his personality. And he put out two rap albums. And that is so I loved him as a wrestler. I loved his personality. And he put out two rap albums. And that is why I say coward all the time. Because he called Hulk. He goes, I'm coming after you, you coward. And that's why we all say coward to this day. 15 whatever years later. It's one of my favorite words.

Did you mean to take Macho Man Randy Savage? You did, right? Also a fantastic space ghost uh guest a fantastic uh king of the hill guest voice yes uh spider-man yeah villain you ain't going nowhere i got you for three minutes three minutes of play time and he was the most fun to impersonate because i don't know he just he was fun i had his wrestling buddy when i was a kid those little like oh you had the buddy i had three or four of them he was the first one i got and he just was dope he like he was the one of the first wrestlers where i'm like that guy does drugs and i was a child but i'm like i bet you that guy is on drugs a lot time. You know who's a type of guy when you were kids?

You know who's like a type of kid when you were kids is the type of kid where if you had a sleepover at their house, your pillow was a wrestling buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they don't actually have other pills. You're sleeping on Macho Man Randy Savage. All flat.

It's all hot. Yeah yeah he was just he i don't know i loved him i loved everything about him i he was fantastic big old neck you also get miss liz yeah she she started her she started to be a wrestler later so i didn't know if i got her or not because she didn't she start to like her own? No, she never wrestled. She was just a valet, but she valeted for other wrestlers later on in her career. A valet

for wrestlers. It's literally just that they walk them to the ring. Well, it's all this profession. Yeah. Do you think they picked Macho randy savage arm kid yeah walk into the ring paul bearer yeah yeah i mean he was sneaky every once in a while but oh he's he's aren't he's arm candy that candy is like divinity but like it's a candy uh the marshmallow fluff

maybe maybe that was a funnier joke take two uh that candy was marshmallow fluff great marissa let's use that one okay marissa use take one twice please mars put air horns over everything sean says for this episode that would be so tight maybe falcon scream do you think they let macho man randy savage be the spokesperson for slim jims because he kind of looked like a Slim Jim? Yeah, he's leather, man. He was a human Slim Jim. He was a leathery man.

He was a catcher's mitt. A body catcher's mitt. Is it weird that I feel like if you took a bite out of that quad, it would taste like Slim Jim? It definitely would. Oddly enough, you mentioned Catcher. He played Catcher for the minor leagues for the Cincinnati Reds and White Sox. Did he really? Yeah. he played catcher for the minor leagues for the Cincinnati Reds and White Sox. Did he really?

Yeah. And now, speaking of catcher in a movie, weren't you in the popular Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle, Summer Catch? In the background, you can see a young fucking 12, 13-year-old me taking some bullpen pitching, yeah. I love it. Getting in some cuts.

You know? Macho man cuts macho man macho man Randy Sauvage that's a fun Halloween costume just dress up like macho man but reek of Sauvage like it's just a bottle of it

just out there bearing Slim Jims in the desert Mike Malloy time for your first and your second picks as it is a serpentine draft so number one overall I'm gonna take the excellence of execution Brett the hitman Hart

gotta take the technician up top yeah he was gonna go in the first couldn't let him slip out there's one or there's two wrestlers that did slip out of the first round, but with four picks, they're bound to. But yeah, I was torn between this and two others,

but got to go with the best in the ring, and then I'll make up the personality end on the back end. Now, there's a wet wrestler. Oh, he's a wet wrestler. That guy is wet. That's that wet from the Great North, too. Oh, he's a wet wrestler. That guy is wet. That's that wet from the Great North, too. Wet, Canadian wet. Yeah, bought Mr. Burns' mansion on the Simpsons.

That's right. Yeah. Smells like old man in here. The longest nickname I've ever heard in my life. The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be. You know? Come on. All wrestlers say the dopest ever will be. You know? Come on. Wrestlers say the dopest shit.

A man of many nicknames. That, the excellence of execution, and then just the hitman. The hitman, man. Which I never realized until like a month ago was why the sharpshooter is called the sharpshooter. Oh, of course. Yeah, I never put that together. Never put it together. Yeah.

Oh, this is going back for a second, but I was telling Dana about this draft, and she said, you know, are you going to take Stone Cold Steve Johnson? Oh, did she? Ah, yes. That dude sounds like such a dork to me.

I don't know why that's so funny. That's pretty cool too Stone Cold Steve Dick There's this thing we used to do in high school This character named Stone Cold Sven Austin who is just Swedish And he'd say all Stone Cold's lyrics but just in like

A Swedish accent Yeah yeah yeah Stone Cold said so lyrics but just in like a swedish accent this is a bottom line yeah yeah uh also shout out to brett the hitman harvard just being wearing pink the whole time dude yeah before Yeah, before camera. You know what was funny? I was telling Liz about that recently because she was asking about people's outfits, and I was like, wrestlers just used to have a color palette, and that was their color palette for forever.

Hulk Hogan just was the yellow and red. Dog! Hart was just the fucking... Mike! Mike! Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I thought he was taking that racist, right? Is anybody taking him?

David could have. I love dudes named Terry from Florida. You don't know. He's going to go in somewhere. He's not necessarily going to go. I don't know. I wouldn't want to have to stand behind that pick. Either way, first hit.

Brett the Hitman Hart. They had color palettes. Brett's was black and pink. And he had shorts on his trunk. Or hearts on his trunks too, right? And the razors. Remember those razors he used to wear? That was not a razor. That was somebody else, Sean.

No, he wore the shades I'm talking about. Oh, I thought you meant razors on his trunks. I was like, that like that was somebody else no i'm not out here saying other picks no not at all bread the hitman heart yeah he's dope was he the best was he like that we don't i don't know about wrestling was he considered like one the best wrestler like from a technical perspective probably one of the best ever like everything that he does in the ring looks like it's an athlete doing it it looks like it has a purpose it looks like you're not like nothing he does in the ring looks like it's like silly like it like guys jumping off the top

rope there's a lot of times where they get there and i'm just like there's no space in a fight where you'd be like i'm gonna climb on top of this thing and then jump you'd be like no i'm gonna hit this guy in the corner a bunch of times until he's too tired to get up. Yeah. He was the first wrestler I noticed that had rock-hard nipples all the time, and I couldn't stop noticing. All wrestlers have tiny, hard

nipples, and I don't really know why that's the case, except, well, I can't say anyone else, but they all seem like they got tiny, little, hard nipples, all of them. Is it a drug thing? I mean, they're pecked is it a drug thing i mean they're pecked out they're trying to those are those are they're pecked out yeah those are those are show muscles they're not functional they're for they're for show they're swole and they're wearing very little clothing and it's cold in there dude they're in big arenas i think and they're excited yeah they're excited that's it's exciting that

make your nipples tiny i don't know if it makes your nipples tiny i think that's just a buff dude thing i think buff dudes have tiny nipples buff dudes tiny nips mike malloy time for your second pick uh so my second pick i am going to take a tag team. I am going to take the Dudley boys. Oh, I don't know who they are. They were WWF in like the two thousands. But before that, there were an ECW,

which was like a, uh, it was, it was basically like, like flaming table shit, uh, barbed wire matches, all that stuff.

They were these two brothers. One was white. one was black they both wore over jover alls to the ring overalls fashioned into shorts uh and oh that's the dumbest thing you can wear i think they uh they they power bombed they power bombed may young they they took an 80 year old woman and power bombed her through a table uh you have to it was great you have to if you're given the opportunity yeah didn't they wear like flame camo or they wore like i'm looking at pictures of them right now uh they they work they wore camo under their jover alls so they had uh the camo on over their jover under their jover alls yes what a fun thing to hear you describe

bubba ray and devon dudley who were half brothers and bubba ray had like the uh the glasses that were taped together like one of the brothers from uh what's that hockey movie revenge revenge of the nerds or a slap shot movie um slap shot slap shot yeah yeah yeah that's what yeah you know what's crazy is Bubba Ray was the black guy and D-Vaughn was the white dude. No, other way around. No, okay. A guy can help.

A guy can hope. I thought you were genuinely like this. Big swings. I don't know. I do know some white Devons. I don't know. I do know some white Devons. Yeah, but you don't know any white Devons. I don't know any white Devons, but I know a lot of white Devons. I don't know any black Devons either.

It's not like a super common name. I know one black Devon. There is a dude at T-Ball. I bet Auburn has a black Bubba Ray. I bet. I don't know. Or UL Lafayette. Oh, yeah. They got it., I bet. I don't know. Or UL Lafayette. Oh, yeah, they got it.

I don't know about that. No, you don't think the black Bubba Ray's? I don't know. Well, yeah, none of us know. Nobody can know that. A Bubba Ray to me, in my head, a white guy comes up. Yeah, me too. Definitely.

I'm just saying somewhere out in the world, there might be a black Bubba Ray. I mean, yeah, there's a white dude named sincere somewhere like to meet that guy oh this is dope the dudley boys what were they what what was their whole thing in the ring just kicking people's ass uh it was so their whole thing was putting people through tables was they they'd always they that was their whole gimmick, is that Bubba Ray would yell at D-Von to get the tables, and then he'd get the table, and then Bubba Ray would

fucking powerbomb people through it. And sometimes they'd set it on fire, which was pretty tight. Sometimes they'd, like, jump off the stage, which is what they did to Mae Young, who was literally 80 years old. And apparently, according to Bubba Ray, after he power bombed her, she farted on him.

Of course, he's not going to fart after they get power bombed. But, like, did it on purpose to fuck with him. Love it. Yeah, it's funny. 80-year-old fart, too. 80-year-old fart. It smells like old books. This is intense.

Yeah. And, like, when it happens live, everybody's like, they're not going to do this. fart too. I'm watching that clip. This is intense. Yeah. When it happens live, everybody's like, they're not going to do this. Somebody's going to come out and save the day. They're not going to let this happen. And there he goes. Powerbombing an 80-year-old woman off the fucking stage. It is pretty old. Yeah, dude.

To get thrown through a table? I'm 35. I think that's old to get thrown through a table. I would die right now. Maybe she was a Buffalo Bills fan, so she didn't feel it. Just imagine old Sleepy Joe getting power bombed. I don't think he's got it in him. He might wake up.

He's going to bump off his bike. Someone's got to wake him up. Maybe a power bomb would do it. I don't know. Lower the APR whenever he wakes up. Please. Sean Jordan, time for your second pick so my second pick this is the first so the undertaker was the first wrestler who scared me in like a death way but this wrestler heard he's coming over to your hotel later tonight yeah no he's mad at you no no i heard that i just heard that he's coming over i just heard he's coming over i don't know if he's looking for you

or what so this wrestler scared me in a way when I was a kid. I was like, oh man, no one's going to be able to beat this guy. And it was Zeus. Remember Zeus? Tiny, it was Devo. Friend of Thane. Friend of Thane. He was a wrestler named Zeus. And I remember when he fought the aforementioned

Hulk Hogan, since it's already been said. When they wrestled, I was like, there's no way that anybody can do anything to this guy because he was just huge and he just looked insane and he's scary looking. And I remember just watching him because he wrestled Macho Man one time and I felt I was honestly scared for Macho Man that he was going to get killed or something by this guy. He was just so gnarly, such a presence to me. And yeah, it scared me. He scared me when I was a kid, so I loved it.

Buff dude. Big buff dude. Do you remember him? Anyone of you besides Mike? No, that was a little early for me. God, he was so scary. It was SummerSlam 89. It was a tag team, and they all wrestled.

And it was so... It was scary. I keep saying that, but I remember watching it just nervous, like really nervous. How much of it had to do with that eye? Dude, the whole thing is scary. And then they were in a movie called No Holds Barred where he was also scary.

Yeah, he was also scary in the movie. And I was like, holy buckets, this guy is terrifying. And then he went on to be Debo. I'm looking at him now, all his muscles look like waterbeds. You know what I mean? You know the way wrestlers have his muscles look like water beds you know what i mean you know what wrestlers have like muscles that look like water beds wrestlers have weird the weird buffness to them that i can't quite pin because they're like big big buff not defined buff just big buff zeus was defined i remember defined zeus was defined nice and then i guess the newer wrestlers

are in better in a different kind of better shape. But like those older ones, the 80s wrestlers, they were all buff, but like lineman buff. Yeah, it was like non-functional buff. It's like you got a bunch of muscles that are just like a hindrance in a fight. Like pectoral muscles in a fight, those aren't going to help you. Those are actually going to hurt you. Yeah, UFC fighters look different than professional wrestlers yeah yeah none of these guys look like nate diaz no they're all

show ponies dude if you look at like that who's that big uh romani boxer tyson uh tyson fury tyson fury yeah that dude he looks out of, and he's the scariest person on the planet. Yeah, he looks super out of shape. I mean, yeah, Nate Diaz looks like a dude who sold me pills at summer school. But yeah, that's a dude who does, like, triathlons all the time, and, like, you can't be, you can't

have fucking gigantic tits if you're riding a bike all the time. 70 pounds of sopping wet muscle yeah man zeus zeus out there dude speaking of friday friend a friend of the program faded did a cameo for us and butchered it butchered every fucking detail about the show i got blue on right now he said my name though john i remember when he said my name i was so stoked and then he goes i still got the bike we're over at the blue roster now that we can like now that it's a thing

mike found out about cameo before anybody in the world i swear to god and i had people hit me up like you know lisa lobe and i'm like no you know ken bone that was the only time that it ever backfired on us that everybody's like that guy's an internet pervert and we're like oh no yeah we do not really associate with that guy we paid him ten dollars yeah and you're booking jeremy piven every show i mean it's it's dog listen the hat budget that faded is out of control now it's yeah i was never gonna miss david boy time for your second pick uh my second pick this goes back to the last time that i was watching wrestling a lot i was just working at the call center watching raw every monday this guy and he's since gone on to be more famous than he was then

but i first liked him because one of the Royal Rumbles, like the way he stayed in was amazing, and I loved his theme song, and I loved his whole vibe. I'm picking Kofi Kingston. Oh, that was not who I was expecting at all. Yeah, it was because it was during the Royal Rumble where they flipped him out, and he landed like he held on. he has like a bunch of Royal Rumble saves that are super amazing. Every Royal Rumble.

That's like the thing now is that Kofi Kingston is going to like keep himself in some silly way. Yeah. And he just was like so fun. He never talks. He's a Boston boy. Oh, I didn't know that. I know he used to have that SOS song. S-O-S.

The team is fire. Yeah, I keep them shouting. And he go, boom, boom. I'm pretty sure he played soccer at BC. And I think his parents were teachers at, like, Wellesley. Crazy athletic. Crazy athletic. So fun to play as on the video games.

Always on some positive shit and then all the new day stuff obviously is like huge he's giving me will i am vibes like buff will i am everybody gives you buff will i am vibes you say that about most of the people we meet because i got you mean buff will i am no no no that's ivan carmel dude well yeah buff will i have i've been carmel does give off buff will i am but yeah yeah that's different that's different those do the the new day guys have like every night you know and like sometimes something will penetrate the popular culture like outside of wrestling i feel like they kind of got there a little bit like i'm like even i knew who they were right one of the funniest videos i've ever seen. If you guys haven't seen it, look it up.

Big E talking about Goldberg is one of the funniest fucking things on the planet. Look it up later and just like, think of like, listen to the way that guy wants his wrestling here. He's just like, I just want big meaty men slapping meat. Yeah, dude. Perfect. wrestling here he's just like i just want big meaty men slapping meat yeah dude perfect since you said it i mean listen it's my oh is my pick right now yeah it's my pick i'm gonna take bill goldberg yeah take the hammer since you since you just said it i mean if you're saying i assumed you wouldn't let the one of the greatest jewish wrestlers of all time get past the center round. I can't wait to find out who the other ones are.

That's the next draft. Listen, dude, Bill Goldberg, we need you now more than ever. I just need Bill Goldberg to go out there in the world with those what are these ones called? Lats? Traps? Traps? We've called them Goldbergs ever since he was a

famous person. Lats are these ones, right? Oh, that's right. Yeah, underneath. Goldbergs traps go to the top of his head. They're crazy. It's nuts. The third greatest Jewish wrestler might be David Arquette. That's how slim the pickings are.

But here's what I hear, Ian. I hear that means the spot's up for grabs yeah that's exactly what i just heard that's exactly what i just heard dude fiddler off the roof bro look out that's your main move from the top rope that would be a fantastic you could be a wrestler just based on that oh my god God. Yeah, you would do that's what would happen. They'd be stunned and then you'd hit this.

We need a fiddler on the roof. Don't show that. You gotta say that. Please show him. You're doing that and the guy's like I'm idling around him. And then the crowd's like

you know whatever you gotta do up off the top rope yeah little fiddle and i'm fucking on them dude off the roof come on that's perfect why didn't phil goldberg do that dude phil goldberg was one of those dudes who is, like you were saying, just a big, wet, strong, just fucking buff dude. That was his whole thing. Big hunk of beef. He was just big. He was just a big buff dude. He was a defensive tackle in college.

And none of his matches lasted more than two, three minutes. He had three moves. He had a fucking, the spear, the fucking jackhammer, and kicking you. And that was it. Yeah. And kicking you. He's not a good wrestler. No, he's a terrible wrestler.

Even good wrestlers could barely get a decent match out of him was how bad he was. He's a terrible wrestler. But he was a man of the time. He was the man for the moment. He was so big and buff and just we just he looked in he looked insane he was in he was in the longest yard looking scary looking those wrestler kicks always bothered me where it's like don't kick your foot can't go up past anyone's thigh don't kick well that's also uh so the the big issue that bre Bret Hart has is with Bill Goldberg

because he fucking basically ended his career by kicking him in the head and concussing him in a way that he never bounced back. Bill Goldberg? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

Well, well, you know. Don't mess with him. Don't mess with Bill Goldberg, dude. He was a bad wrestler. He was not safe. He was the man for the moment. He was what America needed right then. A guy fucking... I don't want a safe wrestler. I've never turned on a wrestling match

and be like, I hope they're safe. I don't think anyone else is going to take him. I know people are going to dock me some points for taking Bill Goldberg, a terrible wrestler, this early. He served a purpose. He served a purpose. He served a purpose. And that purpose was not wrestling on Yom Kippur.

That's my guy right there. Big, wet buff, dude. I don't understand why the police, there were so many police to bring him to the ring. Like it didn't make sense. Were they protecting him or was,

were they protecting everybody else from him there you go he had an insurance policy on that big huge hammer on that big hammer dude the hebrew hammer sometimes the wall is there to not only keep you uh out but to keep something in and i think the cops are doing that exactly now you just can't leave you know one of those you just can't leave uh speaking of big-ass hammers in a trap shack wait he doesn't have a big ass hammer does he ironically like a normal size penis regular ass i don't know if that's confirmed what's the story i mean that's on a fucking seven foot base you gotta figure it's uh yeah man if you chop shack's penis off and put it on your torso, you'd look ridiculous, Sean. Yeah.

You'd look silly. What if you just walked in on Sean in the shower and he had Shaq's dick? If I cut off Shaq's penis and just sheathed it over my current penis and it just... Don't look at me! What's going on? Nothing. I was born in the Swiss. This is how it looks, man.

Oh, man. We're're gonna go ahead and put the strongest man to ever wrestle on my team right now i'm taking mark henry oh yeah only only a wrestler that i can think of who has uh his music written by an oscar-winning group who is mark henry three, six mafia. Somebody got to get their ass kicked. Somebody's got to get their wigs split, was what they would rap about when Mark Henry came to the ring. This dude's gnarly looking. Mark Henry is so fucking strong, like so scary looking. Isn't he an Olympian? Yeah, world's strongest man.

World records in the squat, deadlift, and like a powerlifting total. He squatted 953 pounds. And he was, so he was a shitty wrestler his first 10 years. That's all right. No, no, no, he was shit. And then his last like 10 years of being out there, like he just figured out, oh, all I have to do is just be a fucking like monster and scream at people and be scary and the hall are the the hall of pain mark henry run fantastic can't can't fucking recommend it enough ripping fucking cage doors off fake retiring uh and then burying john cena was a great fucking thing. Love me some Mark Henry.

I was about to say a lot of that same stuff about Mark Henry. Thank you for saying it first. You got to let us get in there, too, with that knowledge so people know that we know. Yeah, he was like a... Go on. Oh, I was going to say, loves eating at strip clubs. Doesn't drink. Just loves to go to strip clubs and get a steak. See?

Scarier, man. Scarier. No, i went to uh t-bone tuesday and shaka willie's recently pretty good we got that place in portland that does the uh the steak but the acropolis yeah the acro we went there and got steak and that's the only time i've ever had food at a strip club and i probably will never ever do it again i imagine was it good at least or was it bad it's great oh well then why wouldn't you do it again they do not go together he won't be in a strip club again i bet oh that's more what it is you don't like it

i always forget about that i don't like him but i just food daytime and being sober don't go with that strip none of those things go with the strip club so it's like what am i you know it's weird to me i think for him it was just that it was one of the few places that would be open serving food when they get off work sure that's true and nobody's really probably gonna bother him right yeah dude there's another thing to pay attention to my throat's giving out all right yeah we are buck henry big strong scary david uh my next pick i am going to take sean said he doesn't like kicks i love kicks i'm taking hbk baby i know that was the one that i was not sure was gonna get out of the first i'm taking he's not a sexy boy or he's just a sexy boy he's not your boy toy no he's not i just love it because that

sweet chin music will reverse the motherfucker like Like, they're going one way, and that shit comes out of nowhere, and they're going another way. That shit, I always thought that was, like, the move that looked like it hurt the fucking worst. Wait, are you doing the heartbreak kid? Is that what HBK is? Yeah, Sean Michaels. All right. All right. I didn't know.

Yes, I got you. And he's just a sexy boy. I always hated when he, like, would be in the corner fucking stomping for them to get up. But when he hit it out of nowhere, because that's a move you can hit out of nowhere. I don't know if you ever saw the clip of Shelton Benjamin coming off the top rope and getting his head kicked off. He went to do a springboard off the ropes and just ran right into a Shawn Michaels super kick.

It's fucking fantastic. Look it up oh my god super kick dude i before this on the plane i looked up just top top uh top sweet shit music's out of nowhere it's that's definitely on there yeah this shit is just amazing i love him he's funny he's just like he was just like yeah i'm just like a hot sexy fashionista yeah sexy boy yeah he's not your boy toy though no and he sang his own entrance music which i feel everybody should have to do that would add another dimension to wrestling that i would really enjoy i think that should be a rule with baseball is if you want walk-up music you should have to like get in the studio and and lay down. I love that. Also, part of one of the greatest tag teams

ever. We can't pick the tag team. Nobody's taking Jannetty. I can tell you that much. Well, I'm going to draft Marty Jannetty. The Rockers were dope, though. I loved them in the same vein that I love Macho Man, where it's like a spectacle above all.

It was great. That's who I'm taking though fucking hbk excellent pick fucking sean michaels dude he was so fun to watch wrestle so fun so fun one of my favorite matches is him versus uh heart in wrestlemania 13 12 wrestlemania 12 no 13 it was uh Ironman match, the hour-long match that went to overtime They were like, they wrestled each other a lot, right? They're like a famous Yeah, so that, pretty much

from that time till the time that Hart left WWE was the whole thing with Hart leaving WWE was that the Montreal screwjob where Hart was leaving, didn't want to drop the title to Shawn Michaels. Vince McMahon ran down and said say that Bret Hart's

tapping out right now when he isn't, and then Bret Hart punched Vince McMahon in the fucking face for it. What'd you say? There's a bunch of documentaries on it. It's called the Montreal Screwjob. So basically, Bret Hart had a 25-year deal with WWE.

At some point, WWE was not doing well enough financially to back it. And Vince was like, hey, if you need to go to WCW, do it. He did. He said,

I got a deal signed. I'm leaving on this date. Vince said, I want you to drop the title to Shawn Michaels eventually. He said, I'll do it, but not in Montreal. I don't want to do it in Canada.

Pick somewhere else. Vince goes, okay, fine. We'll do it another night. They have a match in Montreal. Vince basically changes the finish without telling, told everybody about Brett, told the referee, told Shawn, told the fucking timekeeper, told everybody about Brett and fucking embarrassed him in his home country.

So there's a lot of, there was a bad was a bad blood for 10, 15 years over it. Damn. Crazy. And then home country. Yeah, and Brett Hart spitting Vince's face from the ring. You could see him get hit with a fucking loogie. Yeah, that's great. Love it.

Hell yeah. I'm going to have a question for you, Mike. So I want to pick... We can pick a tag team, right's great. Love it. Hell yeah. I'm going to have a question for you, Mike. So I want to pick, we can pick a tag team, right? Yeah. I want to pick Hawk and Animal. Are they the demolition? Are they the demolition men or the Legion of Doom? Legion of Doom.

I thought that's what they were. And then I looked it up and it says demolition. Demolition was Axe and Smash. Oh, I got you. Okay. Well, anyway, picking Legion of Doom, Hawk and Animal, they fucking ruled. Yeah. They had the football pads with the spikes, right?

I mean, they were wearing shoulder pads with spikes. Yes, they did. And they were so dope. They were so fun to watch. The shoulder pads with the spikes because it was like, it just was so stupid looking, but dope. They just thought. It's weird that animal was animal but

he was a spider like yeah you want to call him like hawk and spider so i can't remember if it was hawk or animal it was whichever one's last name was larinitis his son played for ohio state and then the rams as a linebacker for like 10 years james lauren yeah that was uh animal son yeah yeah dude that's dope i didn't know that i'm lucky you know what uh documentaries you guys would really like is uh dark side of the ring on vice which is like i've seen them all david you watched a bunch of those with me right yeah i've seen them all they also have dark side of comedy don't watch that oh yeah i don't want to say that yeah very bad i watched the dark side of the 90s it was like a six it's all spin-offs of this show that they had started

initially yeah yeah man anyway i just loved them they were buck i hear dark side of the ring syncs up perfectly with uh fucking zeitgeist dude yeah zeitgeist and loose change they're all they're all interloose changeable you. You can just kind of do whatever you need. The guy is a fucking professional. Mike Malloy, time for your third and fourth picks, as it is. As it is. Serpentine Draft. Third and fourth picks.

All right. So I'm going to take a woman in this one. Oh, wait. Oh. Yes. I'm going to think Becky Lynch. Fantastic wrestler. Fantastic personality.

Is breaking through in a way that no woman wrestler has done before. And she rules. And she's a nice lady, too, which is great. And she's probably going to transition to acting very soon and do a great job at it. I met her on Game On and she was was so nice she could not have been nicer she did a wrestling move on me apparently she was in the apparently she was in a scene in the eternals

that they cut because they're going to save her for movies down the line so apparently she's going to be getting that marvel bag pretty soon oh nice good for becky lynch yeah she rules yeah nice lady i don't like i the era of wrestling i watched was like women were only arm candy like pretty much that was pretty much it and then yeah i'm not gonna name another woman that i had considered taking but the competition that she went up in against the in the 90s is was shit because women like women's wrestling in the 90s was literally

let's take bikini models and make them wrestle. And like, imagine if stand up was like, oh, we're going to take a bunch of fucking handsome theater kids and make them. Oh, wait, no, that's kind of happening. Is that? Yeah. Wait a minute. I feel like it is happening. Oh, wait a minute i feel like it's happening oh wait a minute oh snuck it in wait a minute yeah let's get catty about the current state of our party

and attractive dude you gotta be ugly i kind of hate it you gotta be ugly to be funny no but it's there's a difference to be in like okay looking at being like a theater kid who's like this is a presentation and you know yeah absolutely yeah and we're gonna fucking whoop your ass there's gonna come a day where none of those kids been in a fight no, and it's coming. There's not going to come a day. We're going to fight him. Is that what you think is going on? That's not going to happen. We're all going to fight him. There's going to be a reckoning. Of course there's not going to come a day, David.

I got a bat with a nail on it. Mike and Negan. Your fourth pick. I'm going to go with another great technical wrestler probably somebody you guys might not be as familiar with but my absolute favorite wrestler in the whole world brian danielson daniel brian in wwe brian danielson everywhere else uh the american dragon one of my favorite wrestlers uh just fucking great the best uh just not not a whole lot to say other than if you are familiar with wrestling you know

who he is you know what he does uh it just everything in the ring that he does looks purposeful and that's uh i the thing i love about pro wrestling is when everything makes sense is he a high flyer what's his whole thing uh not so he's more like a uh like a grappler like a like his his style's a very mma style um he's like a guy that that started in like 2000 and like was a big on the independence and then like didn't one of those guys that everybody assumed was never going to wrestle for wwe because of the fact that he's 5 9 180 pounds but everything that he does looks great yeah not. Not for, not for me. And then he, he ended up wrestling for WWE for 15 years and being a part of like, probably one of the best WrestleMania arcs that's ever happened,

uh, for WrestleMania 30. Um, just a great wrestler and, out kicked his coverage, married one of the Bellas. Couldn't, couldn't ask for better for him.

He just looks like a regular ass dude. Yes. Yeah. Like you could could i'm like this could be you oh watch it watch it that's a good thing that's a good thing yeah the day is coming dude the reckoning the reckoning i'm ready for that reckoning that'd be a fun wrestler name for you mike i was gonna say i was listening to the uh the episode uh that you guys did with katie where barbie girl came up how did the uh the the the roost barbie girl story not get mentioned is that where i almost fought somebody because they kept playing barbie girl

yeah i had to like i had to like position myself between you guys to be like it is not worth hitting this guy over this song I promise you we went to the roost we were trying to have a good night and some fucking theater kids that was it and I was just like if these were guys looking for a fight these guys are looking for attention

if they were looking for a fight we could give it to them but they're looking for attention let's not they just played silly music the whole time on a fucking bit anyway anyway i'm getting worked up again getting worked up again been drinking green tea all goddamn day sean jordan time for your fourth pick can we do fictional no what why not yeah i never thought about it take it and we'll see the revolting blob from billy madison okay oh the teacher the teacher yeah i guess i mean I never thought about it. Take it and we'll see. The Revolting Blob from Billy Madison.

Okay. Oh, The Teacher? Yeah, I guess. I mean, sure. It's your pick. Yeah, it was just fun. I didn't know if I could do it or not. Not even the best wrestler from the Adam Sandler universe, but sure, go ahead and have it.

To me, it was like my favorite Adam Sandler movie and there's a wrestler in it and it's fun and he's a good guy. He was just a professional wrestler. It let me go off my beaten path of the very specific 80s, three or four years that I'm choosing from. I figured I'd shake it up a little bit. There you go.

Revolted mom. Sweet guy. He was a sweet, sweet guy. he was a sweet guy he just screwed up a little bit but then he saved the day in the end and he's a good teacher he just helped the world out he helped out my fictional universe i always love the way that he goes no no no you can't do that no yeah i felt bad for him. Well, there you have it. The revolting blob. And we're going to get to David's next pick right after

what I like to call a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get

it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days. And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track.

So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot., so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy. Hey, and we're back. All fancy, everything.

We're drafting wrestlers. It's time for David Borey's pick and you're going to love it. I'm taking all iterations of this one man i'm taking mcfoley come on yeah great oh yeah come on i'm taking do love yeah i'm taking mankind i was about to take him back when he fell through the case i mean come on and a great guy sweetheart wrestled overseas real hard. I know something funny. His best friend in high school and teammate on his wrestling team, Kevin James. Really? Crazy.

That's interesting. That's insane. I did not know that. There's a picture of them standing next together on the wrestling team. Wow. I didn't know that. It was him and The undertaker in that cage match where everybody like honestly thought mankind died or something because it fell on his face it was insane the chair fell on his face that shit was so scary i wasn't even a fan of wrestling and

that like made it into my world and i watched it because it was just like it was one of those crazy it's insane because he fell like 15 feet through the cage or some shit yeah he threw him through the cage like yeah that because at that point the worst similar bump was um under a similar hell in a cell match undertaker like through sean michaels maybe halfway off the kid like they were on they were climbing on the cage and like hit him where he like bumped back on the table and that was like a 10 foot drop and he wasn't supposed to do that up till that point no i mean this was all planned but they i mean when you throw somebody through a thing and it's 15 feet in the air their body's gonna turn so like he threw him through the cage and like he hit the cage but they didn't

factor in the fact that like in that 10 feet your body's just gonna turn in a way that it might not want to and he fell on his fucking neck it's insane so buck god that's he's just so strong such a great wrestler uh dude love is really fun to me and mankind like i remember do you guys remember the the promos when he was like first coming out it was like him in a room talking to mr saco and you're like oh yeah that shit scared me as a guy down people's throats which was fucking nuts actually didn't come in till later that happened uh what was he talking to in that room he was just talking to uh the rats there were rats in the boiler room that he'd be talking to so that was what he still had

just like there was a like when he'd do the mandible claw but he had just like a thing covering his fingers the mr socko thing didn't happen till that uh rob where he goes to visit mr mcmahon at the hospital. Mr. McMahon? With Austin hitting him with the bedpan thing. That was the same fucking segment where Mick Foley had the sock puppet and he was trying to cheer up Vince McMahon and then

Steve Austin hit him with a bedpan. That's so dank. Either way, sexy. Love it. Mickfoley do love mankind fantastic fantastic take it over to japan see what he did over there you know what i mean goddamn him first vid or keep my mouth shut time for my fourth under my final picks with my fourth pick i gotta i have a theme for my team it's just gigantic dudes and so i have to take the the alpha the omega of all gigantic dudes anybody want a peanut i'm taking andre the giant

oh yeah come on man come on why wouldn't you another guy who's not a great wrestler but he's so big was a decent wrestler when he was coming up and then there's a bunch of good footage of him in japan but you know in the 90s when he was being trotted out there he looked like dog shit and funny story uh was driven to school often by poet samuel beckett that's right of course that's right and then he was too big for the bus it's too big beckett said lay in the bed the truck bed just a huge french dude the the under the giant documentary on hbo is even if you're not a wrestling fan at all it's amazing and worth a watch it's outstanding yeah it's so good that little beer in his hand it's always so when he

peed on planes he couldn't stand in the bathroom because he didn't fit he had to like pee in a bucket yeah so crazy and also lots of happy stuff in the document but uh he was just such a good person him ripping around that three-wheeler on his farm that was always great amazing no shirt on love it now because i don't really understand wrestling that much and i'm just here to be silly i I'm just, I'm putting a stable together. I'm leaving my favorite wrestler of all time on the board, who I'll get to when we do the wrap up if nobody takes him. And I'm leaving some other amazing wrestlers. But I've got my four scary, gigantic dudes. And with my last pick, I'm taking Doink and Dink.

Penis? Who are Doink and Dink penis who are doing can dink they were clowns they were they were several different people yeah it changed from time to time doink is a clown uh and dink is a clown a little person playing a clown and they would get into hijinks all around the ring clown related hijinks in the wwf in the wwf oh my god i don't remember yeah like uh early 90s this was like early to mid 90s they looked terrifying yeah yeah that's when i was interested so that the the dude that played him was actually like an amazing technical wrestler, like a really good wrestler that they kind of just like was like,

hey, just do this because you don't have a personality. You'll get this over. And then they, as soon as he left, they were like, all right, we're going to just give somebody else doink. We don't need you. We'll fucking cycle new doinks in. So doink, dude. I take doink and doink.

God, so sad when that happens. Always got a new doink. Yeah, a new doink dude i take god so sad when that happens always got a new doink yeah a new doink thought you were going to michelle's house she's cycling new doinks got sick of my doink it happens dude makes me feel like a dink

david time for your final pick ah trish stratus ah one of the few of that era that could actually wrestle. Could wrestle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she couldn't at first, but after a while, she got very good towards the end. Yeah, fun to play with on video games, and I'm just running out of good wrestlers that I know.

Trish Stratus from? Toronto, Canada. Toronto, Canada. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean Jordan, time for your final pick. South Dakota, baby. Shayna Baszler. Yeah, it was going to happen.

Had to do it. Yeah. Did I ever tell you the story about hanging out with Shayna at an independent wrestling show? No. Where? In L.A.? Yeah, yeah. So I was at PWG, which is a big wrestling show here in la and this was

probably right when i first moved out here it was before she had signed to wwe she was still like just off uh ufc i had known somebody that was on her season of that and i was just sitting we were sitting next to each other talking and uh my buddy had gone to get a drink and she had like bumped into him by accident and like spilled his drink. And the entire time I tried convincing him that he, she had done it on purpose and that she was fucking with him. And the next time he went to go get a drink, I like filled her in on it.

Cause I like, I had at that point I had built up enough rapport with her. I'd been like, Hey, listen, I'm fucking with my buddy. I told him that you like spilled his drink on purpose and did like, and she's like, Oh, listen, I'm fucking with my buddy. I told him that you spilled his drink on purpose and to fight you about it.

And she's like, oh, absolutely. I'll fuck with him. So I came back from getting another round of drinks and she's just fucking staring through him. I was like, John, you gotta fight her. She's trying to... You gotta fight her. You gotta fight her.

She knocked your drink out of your hand. That's so funny. Sean, you're the same age as her and from the same place. Did you know her at all growing up? No. We saw her when she first started fighting. We'd go to these, whatever the version of a cage match was in Sioux Falls. They were gutter, dude.

But we saw her at a few of those. But yeah, I never knew her coming up or anything. I don't know that Sioux Falls had all the modern amenities of a big-time city, but I feel like Cage Match is probably... It was probably a cage match in Sioux Falls, too. And that the backyard is a cage of sorts, yes. Yeah, and that Sioux Falls is some kind of cage, really. I really can't believe that's your Sioux Falls wrestling pick, though.

There's a different one. Well, the other one isn't from Sioux Falls wrestling pick There's a From Sioux Falls He's down the street So Shane is from Sioux Falls Proper baby out here getting it done Mike we'll wait time for your final pick I'm tempted to take To take South Dakota's finest but

Well South Dakota's finest is not a wrestler He's sitting right before you but go on um I bet there's a lot of lower back tattoos that would say otherwise I'm gonna uh I I gotta take uh I gotta take Latino heat I gotta take Eddie Guerrero oh yeah all right all right you know I went back and forth for a minute I gotta just take go with my heart just fucking fantastic especially his like stuff when he got to WWE

when they like let him be funny cause that dude was fucking funny but he also was a great wrestler fucking love me some Eddie Guerrero fucking I'll wait till the end of this draft to say more, but there's some definite Eddie Guerrero.

I'm pissed I had to throw out my Eddie Guerrero shirt. I had to throw out my Eddie Guerrero shirt this week because of fucking Kanye. Why? What? Because it was, you remember the Life of Pablo shirt that Kanye did? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had bought a parody Eddie Guerrero Life of Eduardo shirt, and I'm just like, I've got to fucking throw this out now. You can still wear that. I have a Rasheed one. I had to. I had to just toss it. Just give it up to the gods. It was time.

I've got two Kanye shirts. I'm holding on to them. You've got to throw them out. What do they got? I'm holding on to them. We're going to see if they come for me. I throw that on. Dana and I escape.

Although that might be a great time to sell. I mean, there's fucking, there's neo-Nazis that got money to spend. And the more money they spend on fucking shirts that they're not going to wear, the less they can spend on fucking candidates to run. It gets worked into your family crest generations down the line. That's how we got out, dude. What if we fucked at the Vogue party? And then like a book and like

a baked good. So that's the final pick. Marissa, do you have a pick? Yeah. Oh, man. Do you guys know Jade Cargill? Oh, yeah. Oh, look at your boy you're so hyped because she's she's my buddy really you're so high yeah yeah when i went in june uh in june look at that oh whoa there's your boy there's your boy wearing the the aw title right there.

I have the biggest crush on her. My manager was just hanging out with her. Shut up, Adam. That's awesome. I don't know if you guys know, remember the baseball player, Brandon Phillips? She's married to him. So me and Adam, who produces Fated Happy Hour,

he's a big Braves fan. I was a big Red Sox fan. He played for both teams. We were just, she was the, she's so nice. She came up to us and was like, what are y'all, what are you guys doing? She was the only one drinking, only one having a good time at this after party. She came up to us and we were bullshitting with her. We're like, oh, we're both baseball fans.

We both know who your husband is. She hops up and she like FaceTimes her husband. And like, we're just chatting with Brandon Phillips and it's just like super nice lady awesome wrestler taken to it like a fish out of water. She's only been doing it for a year. She's buff as hell. She's oh yeah she's so ripped

I want to be topped by her so bad. That's all I have to say. Holy crap. If you don't listen to the end, then you're missing out. I mean, Marissa, I could ask. I could DM her and say, hey. That is not what I thought you were going to say.

Every now and then. You gotta listen to the whole thing, baby. This is funny. Every now and then. Well, hell yeah. Shout out to Jay Cargill. You're picking a number list. Ian, I'm surprised you didn't take Big Show. He was also on my list. Yeah, I didn't think he was in the game. If I didn't take Big Show. He was also on my list. If I didn't take Doink and Dank and I went all big dudes, it definitely would have been the Big Show.

Because that was Sean from the Adam Sandler universe. I was going to say Captain Insano, which is the Big Show. I got a soft spot for the revolting blob. I always liked him and I always felt bad for him. The Big Show is funny, too. He's also a funny dude. Funny dude. He was great on SNL with the dude who didn't get taken, The Rock.

Yeah, The Rock. I noticed that. I was noticing that. The Rock didn't get taken. Chris Jericho I very much considered taking. One of my favorites. Been one of my favorites for 25 fucking years uh i consider the rock more of a tequila businessman than a than a wrestler is tequila's bad man it is not tequila it's not good none of those celebrity tequilas are good get buy espalone it's fucking

19 get get a bottle of espalone you'll be fine to recap i went first i took the undertaker goldberg mark henry andre the giant and doink and dink david went second he took stone cold steve austin kofi kingston sean michaels mick foley and trish stratus sean went third took macho man randy savage zeus the legion of doom the revolting blob and shana basler and mike malloy went last took brett the hitman heart the dudley boys becky lynch daniel brian or brian danielson and eddie guerrero we left some big ones on the board we left rick flair on the board yeah i know we left we left the rock we left uh you know a lot of big ones also i was way off about the uh the the not many jew wrestlers? Apparently Randy Savage.

Randy Savage. Lanny Poffo. I don't know that second one. Now he's on my team. That's his name? That's Randy Savage's name? Randy Poffo? Randy is his brother.

Now I'm thinking about it. Randy Poffo. That sounds like a Sam Town impression. Randy Popple. No, Goldust is not a Jewish fella. Met him at the AEW thing. Very nice fella. He gave me a hug. Thought I was somebody else.

Also, after doing a scroll through, I think maybe I want to get topped by Jade Cargill. I think you do. She is a handsome woman. That six pack is insane insane i love my wife another another one on the on the list uh father our father son of the great malenko dean malenko dean malenko dean malenko i was talking about icp last night with kyle's boy i found another person who loves him shout out to portland's own rowdy rowdy piper that guy too

shout out to jake the snake roberts mr perfect i had on my list i loved mr perfect and the ultimate warrior loved him i mean so many there's so many it's like i had razor ramon it's like there's like ravishing r Rude. Gorilla Press. Well, hey, listen. We left a lot on the board. That means we want to hear from you. Add All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. That's on the internet. Shout out to everyone

on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. We love you. Thank you for holding us down. A ton of new content coming in the next week. You're going to really love it. Shout out to everyone on the afe shislakity where i am storming fucking storming through the fantasy football league nobody can stop me crushing people that gift exchange is coming up i'm excited gift exchange we're involved yeah i was trying to get a leather oh wait i shouldn't say i'm getting everybody leather bucket hats uh saint sue carmel i love you mom sorry this one's probably pretty confusing for you but you know i know you listen anyway i love you yeah she was telling me about one where

she was out oh it was the live one she was like i didn't know what you guys were talking about no way well no because my mom in a live show is just there entertaining her own guests. And the show just happens to be happening. My mom had like 200 people at my stand-up show. I don't think she heard a word I said. That's hilarious. She had her own show going on.

She sold tickets for Sue Carmel. I would have bought. I would have bought, too. I would have been there. I would have canceled my show. Shout out to super producer Marissa on the ones and twos getting topped by this jade lake. I wish.

Getting topped. Christmas is coming up, you know. Miracles happen all the time. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything. Shacklackity! That was a HeadGum Podcast.