All Fantasy Everything - Zaddies (w/ Janae Burris, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

Grab your scarf, your long jacket and your $480 bottle of cologne - we're drafting Zaddies with comedian Janae Burris.  See us live in Denver!! Sept 18th at the High Plains Comedy Festival. Tickets. Guest: Janae Burris @negativenegro IG: @negativenegro Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverything Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] Check out our sponsor MyBookieSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting zaddies because we are, we're all zaddies. And don't, don't follow up on that. All the, Sean, Sean, Dave and I are zaddies.

Our guest today is Janae Burris. Janae is open for nationally touring comedians like Michael Che and Roy Wood Jr. And you can see her perform at the High Plains Comedy Festival this weekend in Denver, Colorado. Just like me, your host, Ian Carmel, and my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where David kind of talks during the intro, but I like it. I do too. I like it.

Why wouldn't you? What's going on? Street fight. Is there a street fight going on in your house? Not it. Sean, you know the thing about a fight, man. What? Nobody?

Well, nobody ever wins. Nobody wins a fight. And then the other thing is pain don't hurt. Pain don't hurt, man. At all. Pain don't hurt pain don't hurt man at all pain don't hurt if you're a patreon member you may soon be hearing an episode about that very movie now in that i can't remember exactly in that scene he's if he's getting stitched up or not one time but i one time went in and i

thought i was a tough little guy yeah and i just i was like you know what don't numb it up i had to get three stitches on my elbow i was like don't numb up your boy't numb it up. I had to get three stitches on my elbow. I was like, don't numb up your boy. I got it. And I'll tell you. Did you do that because of Roadhouse? Pain hurts. No, I didn't before Roadhouse, but it was such a stupid. Who were you proving it to? Nobody. In my mind, the Novocaine was going to hurt. And he said three stitches would take like four minutes or something. I was like, just do it and i was i was like i want to say i got stitches with with no numbing one time and uh it was stupid it was super stupid yeah i got one

on my i got the one on my eyebrow and with no it was just like one i guess it would have to be two and it was one of the worst experiences ever yeah it's so dumb i want ape shit it's stitching you up like a thanksgiving. Of course it hurts. You feel everything. You feel it go in. You feel like as they pull, you feel the string tightening. Dude. Oh, they're flossing your face.

Last time I was at the dentist, I just asked her. I was asking her just for fun if she has people that don't get numbed up. And she does. And there's people that have gotten root canals without getting numbed up yeah she said they meditate um she said that there's there's two native american families and she said there's two like grizzled vietnam biker guys though so she has like four groups of clients that don't get numb and she said the biker dudes just take it because they're because they're she's like, I think it hurts them. They like it. But yeah, these families meditate.

And she said the last time one of the families, the grandmother, was getting a filling. And she just stopped and she calmly goes, I'll take some Novocaine. But yeah, man, that shit's wild to me, dude. Just hearing the drill makes me want to get numb you sound like a chicago rapper just drinking codeine syrup dude that's the dentist he's in the dentist chair like i brought my own i'm good actually do you have any sprite let me get a let me get like a styrofoam cup i thought about this today it was about one year and 51 weeks ago that i saw the erection specialist was it not

oh so janae we were in we were in uh denver for high plains i don't even think i was there oh yeah it was the last, it was the last day. It was the last day. We were at Sam's number three, you know, over by the club. Yeah. And the erection specialists were everywhere. Really? They were building a building and Sean couldn't keep it in his pants.

There was a bunch of construction workers that had shirts on that said erection specialists on them. And I'm sorry. I still think it's funny. Here I sit, damn near 40 years old it's for sure funny but from what we hear it's not as funny as you maybe thought it was he was going he was going nuts i mean come on they're in on the joke i thought you made an appointment while you had the festival going on like oh it's a good time i'll be off you know know, speaking of this, speaking of which,

I'm going to go see the erection specialist. I'm going back to Portland different. I'm going to see the erection specialist. I'm going to do it. They have some of the best urologists in Denver. So you got to, I mean, while you're there, you got to make full use of it, you know. We got the best erection specialist out here.

I've been saying that for years. You have, David says it in inappropriate times. He screamed it at the bank one time. They had to know how I got all that money. Yeah, they did. I could see him looking, checking his bank account. Like, what is this guy doing? Does he have boners all the time that we don't know about?

That man who hopes to be laughing at the erection specialist again in Denver, Colorado, this weekend. We're all there it's sean jordan seanis jordan on twitter sean cougar melon jordan on instagram sean how are you buddy good man i slept a little more last night since i was being accused of tired last time so i slept a little bit i squeezed it in i feel like i'm maybe less tired today i mean the way you said being accused of tired makes me think maybe you didn't get quite enough sleep i did a lot of drugs too when i woke up i did those drugs that make you not tired i was being accused of tiredness i don't know how would you say which are those uh a lot of blue chew and uh what are the other ones go fast

cialis oh yeah some of those some of those yellow jackets from a truck stop outside of Portland. Blue Chew and Cialis? Yeah, man. You want to go on a wild ride? You want a wild Memorial Day? It's Labor Day we're recording. You can't get off as an erection specialist yet. Yeah.

Also, if you eat Blue Chew and Cialis at the same time, your dick's going to explode. That's true word on the street is that happened to chuck negron he's the lead singer three dog night said he was boning so much that his bad dude split like a banana it's in his book how are you i hate it that you told us ask me whatever question you want to ask about it. We opened up with people getting stitches with no Novocaine, and we moved on to something worse? I'm naming rap songs. Novocaine.

I mean, sure. Yeah, man. I'm good. Come to All Fantasy Everything Live two days from now. If you haven't bought tickets yet, you're missing out, bruv. It's going to be fun.

It's going to be dank. It's going to be buck. I'm going to have these yellow shoes on that I can tell Ian doesn't like, but I think he's going to be swayed when he sees them. yet you're missing out bruv it's gonna be fun it's gonna be dank it's gonna be buck i'm gonna have these yellow shoes on that i i can tell ian doesn't like but i think he's gonna be swayed when he sees him i didn't say that at all i just need to see him in person i know you your face now can we see them now goddamn right you can't i'm gonna make your window goddamn fucking right you can yellow's hard to wear it is it is hard to wear they're like lemonade souls okay yeah there's good but it's gonna be real simple it's gonna be see he's doing it it's gonna be

like a white t-shirt and jeans nothing else flashy okay so these these are gonna be the focal point of the kit they're very summery you could wear shorts with those i might it's an outdoor show and it's gonna be like night i might wear shorts that's a good call today yeah is it gonna be hot it's gonna be like 85 uh during the day it just started getting like reasonable in the city like this right it just started getting i'm gonna get there and make it unreasonable come to this show and see the peak of that and how can people get tickets to that show you can go to i just the other day put the links in my bios on twitter and instagram you can go? You can go to, I just the other day put the links in my bios on Twitter and Instagram. You can go there.

You can go to the High Plains website, any of our socials. Or check the episode description. Or check the episode description. The voice of God comes in sometimes and gives me a little slap on the back of the head. You know? Like, don't eat fries in the front seat kind of thing. Yeah. Get the links in all the bios.

And I'll be tweeting about it every day and Instagram and, and it's going to be fun. It's going to be a hoot. It's going to be hooting the holler. We're also doing the all fantasy, everything standup show. We sure are.

Come see all of that. Come see Friday night at 11, Friday night at 11. If you want to see a fun cycle of how three people handle themselves in a 12 hour period, when they have two important shows. Go to both. It'll be fun. You'll see the professionalism. I'm bringing a briefcase.

I put Max in her Air Max scenes the other night. This is Sean's daughter, Janae. Yeah, yeah. Three months in. Did you say Air Max scenes? Yeah. She's got some little Air Maxes. We call them Air Max scenes. Oh, that's precious. Shout out to... Geez. I'm sorry for forgetting your name, bro.

I think, I don't even want to venture. A dude at Ian's live show in Portland at Clinton Street gave me a pair of Air Maxes for Maxine and wrote Air Maxine on the inside of the shoe box. And boy, did I cry. It was great. The new godfather. That's nice. The new godfather.

Now, I don't remember his name but he didn't give me any shoes so there's a way to operate man why would you do it to me everyone says i'm a nice guy and here you are i don't remember his name it could have been a brian could have been derrick could have been keith i don't know his name he didn't give me shoes you he gave shoes for your daughter brad dang and you didn't have the decency to write his name down that's all right send him a picture of your daughter though nothing like that she hasn't been no i haven't she hasn't been on the internet yet trying to keep that i think that's the number one reason to have a kid is so you can put them in cute shoes yes laura's mom my fiance's

mom so we got the shoes and she's like oh well that's kind of basically said it was pointless and i was like it might be pointless but i'll tell you this ain't the last pair of shoes this kid's gonna have and she goes well she'll grow out of them real quick and i'm like uh i don't care i irrelevant she'll be i got it like that grandma be having shoes having shoes so what she's gonna grow out what's she supposed to wear a burlap sack and two like kleenex boxes until she's a full size uh it was funny i was just like yeah because you know i'm she's gonna have i'm gonna be getting her shoes and she'll grow out of them real quick and then she'll just have a little shoe collection the point is you get to point at your daughter

and be like look at that how about that check it Check it out. It's almost too cute, though. You gotta be careful. I took my niece to a store in some Air Maxes, and people took off their masks to, like, talk to her. Like, get out of here. She's not famous. It's just the shoes. She's gotta hear me. Doing that thing where they take a picture

with another person so she's in the background like people do with famous people. Yeah. David Borey is here. Cool jokes 87 on instagram the g is silent on twitter how are you doing buddy i'm good man thank you to everybody who came out to the comedy fort this weekend last weekend the weekend before last weekend a weekend it was great especially to ted uh i really appreciate you pal thanks for that talk afterwards and uh thank you in advance for everybody who came out to houston last weekend tucson tucson tucson did you think did you thank ted for a talk well you got a little ted talk a little ted talk we'll A little TED TD. A little TED Doty talk.

And then come to Seattle next weekend to see me at the Annex Theater. The hour is getting there. Dave's going to be all cranked up on blue shoes at the Annex Theater, dude. Yeah. Crank it. You want to have a good set, man. Get a boner. Daba dee dabba die

yeah but other than that yeah everything's great i'm happy you know we're out here got uh got a skincare regimen i'm gonna live forever you're looking beautiful you see that david thanked ted by name the whole time whole time i'll find you i mean i'll dig around the dms i'll find dude's name yeah i can do it i'm just saying david david remembered ted's name and uh thanked him directly what uh what a mensch didn't even give him any shoes as far as i could tell based on that no shoes no shoes but he gave me a talk, and I appreciated that. He said, what we do is very important. Oh, that's beautiful. And then I said,

even though what we do is wrong. It was a strange talk. And now I'd like to thank you for that. No problem, no problem. Shout out to Beanie Siegel. Shout out to Beanie Siegel. This dude's going to get a long, a long shout out next episode.

I think you owe him a whole ass thank you card. Might even be on the live. I might get him some shoes. I might have to send him some shoes. Get him some baby shoes. Never mind. He might get these yellow shoes after the live show. I'll sign them and then I'll send them to him.

You should throw them in the crowd after the show like an NWA chain. I might. You should throw them in the trash after the show like an NWA chain. I might. You should throw them in the trash before the show. There he goes. Damn. No, I like them. I like those shoes. I do like them.

I think I do. I think I have to see them in person to really capture the full glory of them because those colors. Nampay said the same thing. They're different. They're not yellow. I mean, they are, but they're toned down. They're not like the hoodie. They're earth earthier than the hoodie like laker gold they better not be like they're like laker gold ian ian loves the laker gold so that's a good selling point they're like laker gold and um yeah and then maybe i'll wear some joker purple

with them and just top the look i'd be twisted i'd be fucking twisted. Even I have to admit that that would be twisted. He's so twisted. David, anything else to promote? You promoted everything you need to promote, and we move on. Yeah, you know, I'm going to be in Des Moines on October 1st. Des Moines.

Take this, Des Moines. Des Moines. Take this, you animals. I'll come back later. Jay Burris is here. That's me, hello. Y'all look so good. Do you make video of this podcast?

We have it available. Marissa can sometimes circulate video. Okay, cut me out. I'm looking busted. No, absolutely not. That's not true at all. Y'all, I could pull it together. You look great.

Sean looks like he got taken. Like, you're okay. Hold on. Hold on. Let me do the... Now what do I look like shawn looks like he got taken like you're okay hold on hold on let me do the now i look now what do i look like now what's on the hat you look like you're doing the taking i put this hat on and i was like the hat's too big to wear i look like it has i look like one of those low low bill hat guys when i have it on because just because it's too big for the recording i think it looks good Just a baseball hat for those listening. Yeah, but it's like, you know, the bill goes down. I look like one of those guys

that's trying to like Marky Mark in the mid-90s. It kind of makes you, it gives you the zaddy vibe for me. The hat is like I'm taking the kids around and like, oh, who me? I'm still hot. Stop saying pics. I'm my cake shot. You don't know what that did for my mental

that was my mental's been going through that because i'm like i don't i don't want to be busted yet like i you know i just had a kid i'm not ready i want to still i want someone to look at me and keep the hat my friend done now you know done deal twitter am i allowed to say your social medias i don't know what? I don't know what the. I don't know what the. The R is in the middle. Okay. It's fine.

Okay. Wait, don't say it. If. No. This right now is Sean's biggest fear. I think I have been kicked off of shows because of my Twitter name. People just don't want to say it. No, it's just, uh, uh, uh, we'll get someone else.

We'll get someone. Add Negative Negro on Twitter. Add Negative Negro on Instagram. Sean just peed. I just stay stuck like this for an hour. Thank you for joining us today. We're so happy to have you. I'm happy to be here.

I like to listen to y'all while I'm on flights, and I was on a flight yesterday. We're good for the long flights, too. We're good for those long flights. You got that red eye from Boston to Walla Walla? We got you. We'll get you to Chicago in one episode before we even get to the draft. You're going to be at High Plains as well. Can you tell the people?

And then in addition to that, where do you want people to check you out? Where can people see what you're doing? Well, I'm all over Colorado right now. I'm at Comedy Works. Whenever they'll put me up, it's my favorite place to be. High Plains, though, I look forward to it. I've been looking forward to this for two years now. I miss it. I'll be all over the streets

probably passing out weed and shit like a Denver ambassador. Catch me on the streets. This year, I'm usually in the streets pretty heavily during High Plains, but this year I don't want to go into places as much as possible, so I'll be in the streets. Sean, you don't even have to say you don't even have to say in the streets at high plains you're just pretty much in the streets dude we know that

just like standing outside the party be like oh when he whoever's going in there come back come back out with some drinks come back out with some drinks and i'll be here standing here oh yeah you're gonna you're not are you gonna not go into the after party and stuff like that? I guess I'll, I'll, I'll, uh, gauge the safety. Okay. Um, let's see.

I, I have to be as responsible as I can. Wait, we're going to do this. What? No, we're going to pretend like you're not going to go to the after party. I didn't say,

I just say I'll be out. I'll be on the outskirts of the party, like on the outside in the streets. You're going to be body rolling on the dance floor at 9 p.m. That's the main thing I want to do is dance. I'm vaccinated. I wash my hands. I cover my mouth.

I'll sock you if you get too close. And I'm definitely going to dance. I'm going to get three booster shots just for that occasion. I'm getting them left arm, right arm, right in the third eye. And then I'm going on the dance floor. You're going to get a booster shot in your mind's eye? That's right. Oh, bruv.

Finally, we're going to land on the moon. We're going to get there. I feel like last time I saw you, Ian, you were doing some shirtless DJing at High Plains. Maybe. Am I tripping? That sounds right. You can take the maybe out of there. You might have been tripping, but you can take the maybe out of there for sure.

The shirt might have been on, but it was definitely not buttoned. I'll tell you that. That's the fun one. By the way, that's shirtless, right? Can we just count that as shirtless? I think that's shirtless. Those buttons were as loose as I was. That's not.

Because what position are you in that all the buttons are down, but you're not willing to take your shirt? If I committed to all the buttons open, that's it. That was the hard part. Yeah. That's the hard part. At that point, you're shirtless, but you also want to pop a color. You want a little something different. You want a treat.

You want a feast for the eyes, and you want dessert. You know what I mean? I want you to know that I'm shirtless and Hawaiian themed. That's right. Yeah. Which is, for my 40s, I hope to be the theme. Yeah. Hawaii? Shirtless and hawaiian theme that's right yeah which is which is for my 40s i hope to be the theme yeah shirtless and hawaiian themed i like that i think you can do that oh why it's a new movie shirtless in hawaii i'm gonna get i'm gonna get those uh flip-flop stickers that you put on

the back of your car like today you know what i mean you got the big pair for dad and mom and then you got the little kids i'm gonna be one of those guys i'm gonna get a salty crew hat you'll see yeah you fucking are you sure are i'm definitely not but you know i might uh what so where else are you gonna be in danbury where can people uh are you any any other dates any other um yeah i'm gonna be in b Boulder September. I got all these dates that. Tell the people. We got a lot of listeners in the area. Oh, man.

People, you have to go to my website, please. JanaeBurris.com. That's where all the dates are. But if you're in Denver, I think I'm going to be at Blush and Blue on the. Forget it. This is useless. I thought about this last night and i was like they're gonna ask you dates bro think of these go to the socials go to the socials go to jenay burris.com that's b-u-r-r-i-s check it out yeah i like to promote my shows based on who's paying

me more so i don't want to give out any names of shows for donations only those shows they're on their own you understand i'm i am i could not agree with you more it's funny when you get those messages someone's like hey plug the show and you're like or i'll just or i'll just show up and whoever's there is there right because i yeah i see the zeros i see what's going on i just got i'm going to a city to do a ticketed show that i'm promoting and I want people to come. And then some promoter slides in the DM like, hey, you also want to do my show on Sunday? And it's like, why would I promote that? That's like so disrespectful to everybody involved, right?

Absolutely. Yeah. You can like do a guest set. You're trying to poach me openly for no money that's like oh and sometimes that's yeah that sunday show is free and you're like well of course someone's gonna go to the free show if i tell them about it right yeah yeah it's just like a promoters man you gotta really reel it in yeah you guys gotta tighten it the fuck up lay off the yellow jackets in cial, you know? Calm down.

Take a weekend off and see how you feel. You got to stop ripping lines of Blue Chew, you know? You get a lot of moms listening because I'm doing an acting class, which I think is very well suited for moms who want to dabble. Moms love us. Yeah, we're big in the mom community. Shout out to all the moms who listen. Okay, well, moms come and take my acting class that's what i'm pushing it's on tuesdays let's just come play around drink a little wine in my class and let's do some exercises can dads take it i'll be there huh dads can take it too i feel like that's a lot of your life going forward Sean is just asking that question

Can dads do this? Can dads do it? Can dads be at the top of the jungle gym Or is that just we can't That'll be a lot of like Grabbing her shit like oh these are for dad Max These cupcakes are for dad Yeah

Are dads allowed to beef it off A five stair too? Yeah? Okay good I've done to beef it off a five stair too yeah okay good i've done beefed it off a five stair i bruised my heel the other day off a six stair oh i digress but i digress but i digress but who among us hasn't beefed it on a six stair for god's sake my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish. Take your neighbor, this is actingclass.com. I just got off a boat. I was on a boat with Ivan Carmel for about 48 hours.

It was beautiful. We were in Sequim, Washington. Shout out to the Olympic Peninsula. We went to Port Townsend. We had some beautiful dinners. I learned how to drive a big-ass boat. Yeah, were you guys sleeping on the boat sleeping on the boat two cabins ah that sounds fun man was it i've never slept on a boat was it i don't know peaceful yeah it wasn't hard it wasn't hard to fall asleep

rock it like gently rocks you to sleep oh my god you've never slept better than on a boat okay yeah yeah i imagine i would do just fine yeah you'd be great but i've wondered it was it was it was fun it was just a great weekend i i don't even really have anything that funny to say but there were seals on the docks where we were moored nice and my dad yelled at one of the seals thinking it was me using the bathroom he didn't why does it smell like fish in here where's the middle ground between you using the bathroom and a seal on the dock Why does it smell like fish in here? Where's the middle ground between you using the bathroom and a seal on the dock? The seal was like, I think my dad was half asleep,

and the seal was like slapping around the water, you know what I mean? Making seal noises. And he thought I was like pumping the bilge toilet wrong. He's like, you're breaking it. Because it was going like, He's like, you can't pump the toilet without any water in it yeah he was like yelling at me i'm like it's a seal you have another glass of wine dad that's a seal now you just said one of the funnier words i've ever heard i don't think i've ever heard it. Did you just say bilge? Bilge. Bilge. I've never heard that word.

It's real funny. Bilge pump. Bilge, dude. Bilge. I should sleep more, huh? I'd love for you to sleep more. You sleep exactly as much as you need to. And you need to keep the girl in the air maxi.

I'm stoked. What you're sleeping on is the guy's name who got you those air maxis. I will bring it up three more times. Brad, I want to say i don't think it was brad right man i'm i'm leaning brad i lean brad a lot so it's not fair you lean brad you're breaking brad right now i project brad heavily but it's not a bad it's not a brad guess no um it is a guess though i'll tell you that we can underline the guess part because that's what we know it is it's a it's a brad guess we are gathered here today not

to disrespect someone who is thoughtful enough to give us a gift for our daughter but also to draft zaddies yeah now go on what's his i didn't i had an idea two things you had a dream is it is it zaddy because of the like the way that you know like oh hey what's up zaddy is that it like why'd you say it like that like you know how like people sometimes you'll be like oh daddy like people will say it sometimes i'll be like you do this all the time. You say it all the time. David, you know what I'm saying?

Like, like in Ella, like in, um, you know, doing it and doing it and do how it sounds like a Z, like how somebody would be like, Oh damn daddy.

No. Am I insane? You have no idea what I'm talking about. When I, when I'm asking this, you have no idea why I'm asking this question. Any of you, I get it. I don't know the answer. Okay. That's all I'm saying about when I'm asking this? You have no idea why I'm asking this question. Any of you. I get it. I don't know the answer. Okay.

That's all I'm saying. So yeah, you need to feel like I'm not You get it. You get where I'm going. One more act out could help, though. Zooming it, zooming it, zooming it. Wow, you see how it sounds like a Z there? Oh, zooming it. Zooming it. You know. Everybody, yeah.

You know. No, where does Zaddy come from? That's a comedy podcast. What did you say? You just, everything you sang is the opposite of that Ty Dolla $ign song. There's a Ty Dolla $ign song called Zaddy, which I think is where it came from first. I don't know if it came, was that first? it came from first. I don't know if it came. Was that first?

I don't know. I thought it was more like from the gay community, like from the boys. I bet it is. I bet it is from the boys. I heard horny ladies on Twitter say it first, I think. See, okay, if it was from the gay community, from the boys, was it not from just saying daddy, but it sounds like it has a Z because you're just being like, oh, what's up, daddy? No? You think I'm absolutely insane i feel like it's hard to pinpoint gay slang like it's just like a like i listen to my cousin and then one day i know something new and yeah i don't

know where he got it that's the best that's the best kind of slang. Eight years later, guys like Sean and I get it. We get to say it. We put it on a piece of driftwood, and then we sell it at Michael's. And then the gays stop using it. All the young guys are like, it's no longer cool. Sean said it. Well, I use it wrong. It'll be like, I'll go to Applebee's, and they'll be like, Zaddy, party of four? And I'm like, right here.

Zaddy. Zaddy and And I'm like, right here. Zaddy. Zaddy and his three others. You guessed it. Are these Southwestern egg rolls for Zaddy's? What's the trillest thing on the menu? Are the Southwestern egg rolls trill? Give me the Oreo shake and put some goddamn Zaddy in it.

I'm having a sundae. Go ahead and eat me one of those Oreo milkshakes, please. i'm having a sunday go ahead and yeet me go ahead and eat me one of those oreo milkshakes please what's the trillest thing on the menu uh zaddies are kind of it's evolved to mean kind of like an older hot fashionable guy is that Is that kind of right? Yeah. Somebody sexy.

I never want to call any dude I like daddy because that's what I call my own dad. And that's gross. Yes. But now zaddy, I can be a total perv about. Daddy is a whole crazy thing to call someone. I don't. It'd be wild if someone called me daddy unless her name was maxine and she was my daughter okay you did all the stuff to do to make that happen yeah i did

ah my man with zaddies we're talking maybe there's a salt and pepper beard maybe there's a maybe there's a very expensive very nice looking sweater involved you know what i mean yes exactly there's long coats a lot of the time like a long beautiful coat like we're talking status it's a body that we don't know how they kept it together that way yeah it's it's a well it's different though it's a different it's not we're not talking like shredded it's i'm going sexy i lean heavily into sexy style. Yeah, I don't know. I hope I don't get made fun

of too much. I know. I know my role. I get a paycheck and it's fine. I think zaddies always have haircuts that you get at a salon. Yes! Expensive haircut. No zaddies cutting their own hair. Absolutely not. that you get at a salon yes expensive haircut and with that some product in there zaddy's cutting

their own hair absolutely not there's there might be some clay pomade in there there might be some light hold like it all smells real their hair smells amazing good zaddy smell good and wear nice watches yes i mean you're pretty much listing off what i what i am until the watches part i can i can't wear watches after what happened but that's neither here nor it's a whole nother podcast. That's a different podcast. Yeah. It's too bad because I just got a line on a fake rollie and I think I'm going to buy

one. Get one, dude. Who knows? Who's going to tell? Who's going to call? What am I going to be? Everyone who can hear me when I'm with you, I'll tell them. And I'll scream.

I'm going to tell everybody, even the mayor. Yeah. You won't be able to prove it because you don't know the difference between fake and real Rolexes, you charlatan. David, with your hurtful... Is it slander? Slander. Yeah, with your hurtful slander. It's the ticking thing, usually, though, right?

That's like the main way you can... That's called a metronome. See, I know stuff. Yeah, the way they like tick backwards. I mean, I don't know what I'm talking about. If you want to listen to Sean's watch story you got to download all reality everything that's where that happens now the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollick a game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot i'll call

it here we go rock paper scissors shoot you did nice oh look at David you won dude you did win but that was hard he was slow you weren't even moving I was quick I never won a game of rock paper scissors my whole life so this is I'm not surprised

David always wins the math is balancing out David sold his soul to the devil for that though. So whatever, if that's how you want to sell your soul, it worked out. Okay. I'll take that W for the team,

but that was a wild game. That was a wild game. Janae was fully out of frame until the last second. Yeah. I didn't even, I didn't, I just went like this and then it worked for me. I didn't bang,

bang, bang. I didn't bang the gavel at all. I kind of like that. That's a tough way to play rock, paper, scissors, where you're like, rock, paper, scissors. Like that, dude. You don't throw at all.

You just hold it out. Rock, paper, scissors. I'm telling you, right now it's rock. Make a move. I never even thought about that. That's two games happening that's rock paper scissors and a head game I wanna lose

like when two fighters are squaring off and one of them isn't like swaying side to side it's always the one that's standing still that freaks me out the one that's just like straight up not moving like I got it putting his chin out David is the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.

Before you do that, though, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? Great question. It's like the security line at the airport. You know how you like you go in the you have to kind of go. You walk in, you go all the way to the left and then you just go up a tiny little bit. Then you go all the way over to the right. I do pre-check.

Straight ahead, baby. Oh, well, then I guess all the way over to the right. I do pre-check. Straight ahead, baby. Oh, well then, I guess you can just draft whenever you want. And we get to keep our shoes on. And with your shoes on, and some mushrooms that you forgot were in your bag, but it's not that big of a deal. Whoops.

Whoopsie. That'd be the best. If you just did not care, and you got caught with drugs you're like whoops that'd be tight anyway just back and forth through the airport security line since i'm flying soon it seemed relevant there you go if you pick first of the uh if you pick fourth in the first round you pick uh first in the second round david, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? Sean, David, Janae, Ian. Woo! Hot corner!

I get to go first? You have to go first. Hell yeah. Cool. Alright, I have one. I thought of this. Wait, are we not there yet? Well, we're not quite there. Sean, you have the first pick in the Zaddy's All Fantasy Everything draft, and we will get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.

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existed this is it if you've listened to a podcast it was all fantasy everything we're the one we're the fucking one come see us at high plains comedy festival buy your tickets now in the episode description sean you have the first pick what will that first pick be this is tough uh there were two that were said in the group text the other day i imagine they're gonna get picked am i insane i don't know i was just thrown out i was just thrown out some examples you do what you got gotta do I want to pick the one that I thought of in bed last night Just because I want it I don't think any of you are picking it first Maybe

I doubt it But I want it I'm gonna pick it I love this man He's sexy, he's older, he's charismatic He dresses the best That man is Steveve harvey oh whoa i wanted steve harvey to be the first pick

oh my god okay wow what the fuck is about to happen he thought of this last night in bed y'all I thought of it in bed he dreamt about it Steve Harvey are you talking about because of that shirt with the dad jeans and his shirt off that picture I'm picking Steve Harvey

I knew it was going to be like this it's the comedy podcast whoa you're not taking him to be funny you really think steve harvey's a zaddy i love steve harvey i love him attractive you find him handsome i think steve harvey is perfect he said because of how he dresses i thought he was about to pick somebody on my wow steve harvey's perfect steve harvey's handsome he's absolutely hilarious i guarantee you he's sexy he's probably not shredded but steve harvey's in shape you haven't seen that steve harvey shirtless pic

okay no i'm gonna drop it in that chat hold on yeah please i need to see it i steve harvey is one of the sexiest dudes i can think of that is the craziest shit you've ever said on here you picked you picked a ball pit when we drafted a food draft. You said Steve Harvey is one of the sexiest dudes I can think of. First round draft pick. Steve Harvey. First overall. First overall. In the Zaddy category.

One of the hottest men I can think of, Zaddy or not, Steve Harvey, dude. In the Zadigory. Oh my god. This is a crazy draft already. we could have gone for 50 rounds 100 and I wouldn't have thought of Steve Harvey yeah you could have said only comedian zaddies only comedian zaddies and you still wouldn't have picked Steve Harvey only game show hosts Steve Harvey I still wouldn't have only black game show only black game show harvey still sean check the chat tell

me if you still feel the same way yeah wow wow yes david that's supposed to make me not want it i'm just saying this is so you know what it is yes well yeah that reaffirms everything i just said that dude is sexy as shit okay dog i don't know man that was supposed to stop that was supposed to make me think different he looks there's a all right i could use a belt but other than that listen no wait are you guys looking at these pictures just google if you're homeless and google steve harvey shirtless baby oil yeah yeah i could i could definitely use a belt what a belt would have helped my case a little bit but um yeah no no steve harvey man i don't know man but okay listen that's very funny sexuality is a spectrum yeah it is thank Thank you. Yes. Greased up. If you could just put some of his teeth away,

I think I might. Yeah, he's got a lot of teeth out. He's like showing them all or something. Yeah, lucky us. We should. Thanks. Thanks, Steve. That's primal, though. Showing all your teeth. I like how he threw his back in there. Look at his back muscles. Steve Harvey is more of a zunkle than a zaddy.

I went to bed at about 4.30 and I thought of that at about 5 in the morning and I got up and I put it in my phone. I was like, if I go first, first pick in this whole draft, Steve Harvey. Also, speaking of Steve Harvey, Janae, didn't you guest on Family Feud? I like that you call it guest. It makes me feel like I was properly booked or something.

Yeah, I was on Family Feud many moons ago with my family. Wow. And it was so stressful. Was Steve Harvey the host? No, not at the time. He wasn't the host. It was a long time ago with somebody that's a better zaddy than him. Who's the dude with the white hair and the dark eyebrows?

No, I'm rich. Oh. No. I take a mouth kiss from Richard Dawson. Was it the guy who was on Seinfeld? Yeah. Yeah. John something.

Oh, was it Peterman? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did shake my hand, i i got the vibes but uh yeah the rough part about family feud is i didn't really talk to some people in my family for like 10 years after wow it makes you mad at your own family i get it because you're like apples that's the number one after schoolschool treat, Aunt Janice?

Apples, you bitch? Exactly. I took two days off work for this. We were supposed to win 15 grand. That's where there's real money on the line. I didn't pay my rent. I got one-eighth of a year's supply of turtle wax out of that. That's it.

God damn it. It's the cheapest game show they are so stingy you have to win every day for a week to get like 20 000 or something that's insane ridiculous family feud it's hosted now of course by steve harvey the number one zaddy overall the number one overall zaddy pick my My God. David Morey. You got a zadelec. David Morey. And I hate to tell you, Steve Harvey is off the board.

I want to remind you. He's going to be off the board the whole time, and I don't remember the guy's name that gave me the shoes. Oh, man. I'm going to Eminem eight mile it. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to pick Idris Elba. Yeah, that's the one that feels like that feels like it's coming from a very different place at this oh no they get confused all the

time you don't yeah was that steve harvey or idris elba i can't even either idris elba and steve harvey walk into a you know an older gentleman singles bar they're there. They start talking to the same woman at the bar. She's going home with Steve Harvey. Of course. You don't know that she's not. And I'll thank you to stop right there. Charm and charisma can take you a long way. You don't think Idris Elba is charming or charismatic?

I think Steve Harvey is just as charming and charismatic as Idris Elba. I would bet. I would bet. He's a DJ. Harvey is just as charming and charismatic as Idris Elba. I would bet. I would bet. I think that I will say maybe Harvey is more charismatic. Yeah. Have you ever seen Idris? He always squints in that way that hot guys need glasses.

I've seen Idris Elba. I haven't seen Idris Elba be Idris Elba really ever. Steve Harvey gets CNBC. Oh, Harvey you gotta watch an interview with him and his wife he's very oh he's so charming dude I'm sure he is I'm not attacking I'm not attacking Idris Elba that's not what I want Idris Elba's like the the the archetypal zaddy he's got like the sort of graying salt and pepper hair he looks like he smells amazing he's always wearing a beautiful coat his hairline might be running away from him but like in a good way it's it's strolling away leisurely yeah in the boasty video he has the best outfits that like long red uh like

what is it like red checkered coat or something it's a gucci coat it's a long gucci coat steve harvey would look like he was wearing a halloween costume if he was wearing that he steve harvey looks great and everything he wears and i'll Steve Harvey is notorious for long coats also, though. That's true. Like, they're regularly long, though. But they're suit jackets. They're not like... Dude, I just watched the Kings of Comedy

like a week ago. The suit material for all of them, except for DL. All of them. It's Lycra. Dude, there's great... There's so much suit in that so much suit oh yeah four comics that's probably about like 40 yards uh 40 yards dude cedric and steve harvey they're it if you haven't seen in a while just look at their suit their legs look like you could fit six legs in there the suit there's so much suit going on how's the look at the time man it looked great but jermaine o'neill anyway yeah so i'm picking the sierra

leone sex machine and idris elba you can't pick yourself oh okay idris elba yeah i'm not zaddy yet otherwise i would have picked myself first as i am steve harvey went kind to my mind you are you are beautiful that beard's coming in very nice. I gotta get it cut. I feel like it's too long. As soon as you get a little bit of gray, David, you're there. You don't have to actually have kids. Do you have any gray, David?

I have a little bit in my beard, but you can't see it, but not in my hair, no. You're going to be a problem when you get that temple gray, dude. That's going to look real good on you. Man, watch it. I'm about to get divorced yeah i'm gonna get married just so i could get divorced when that shit comes in oh yeah yeah dude you're gonna get you're gonna get a new cologne i think maybe some sort of drop top vehicle oh yeah you're gonna get really into like modern jazz like whatever the jazz is now i'm gonna get some bracelets yeah it's gonna be good i feel like zaddy's got bracelets zaddy's wear bracelets nice jewelry nice yeah yeah i don't like a bracelet bead

yeah koa koa i don't like a bracelet never you don't like a bracelet no you're not a zaddy you're a daddy you're a daddy yeah do i gotta get a fucking bracelet to be a zaddy you there's a few things i think there's a few steps you'd have to take but you're like but here's the thing you're very youthful you look you look young dude you look like i mean it yeah i could go make myself look like a zaddy pretty quick i think i think i can get it done how old do you have to what's the cutoff is there a cutoff i'll be 40 i think it's gotta be like yeah i think it's i think i think it's liquid man okay well i think it's really liquid i'll get i mean i have tons of gray my beard's gray if i like get my hair cut then yeah throw on a button up get those yellow shoes on no no skateboard shoes are not zaddy and i'm never gonna be a zaddy man that's all i got that's

all right you don't have to be but interstellar is he definitely is so is steve harvey and we can keep going huh janae burris time for your first pick um well i have always been into the older dudes i do think a zaddy has is is older and uh i'm getting older but i still feel like a 23 year old gay man in my heart so uh number one zaddy i can't believe you guys missed this one the number one zaddy in the whole world everybody knows this jeff goldblum yeah that's the one yeah those were the two that were in the text jeff goldblum and adria's he's he's the number one and uh i've been fiending over him since i was too young to even understand what was going on down there. You just thought you loved dinosaurs.

I loved him in The Fly. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was disgusting and I still loved it. But now that he's older, it's like he got super hot. He's like 68. And it's like now he's super hot. Only gotten hotter.

He's only gotten hotter. Best haircuts in the game. He plays piano with the long ass fingers. Yes. He wears all kinds of fun colors now. He's a sweater guy. I've got a bunch of rings. Bunch of rings.

He wears bracelets. To show off them fingers. Does he have long fingers? I never knew that. Oh, yeah, dude. All right. Long fingers. Long.

Long. And he dresses so cool now. Yeah. Yeah. He does. It's that gray in his hair, too. It just goes with everything. Yeah.

Yeah. He'll wear, like, one of those button-up shirts with like each side is a completely different pattern which looks crazy on fat dudes but he looks cool he looks yeah he wears those insane prada shirts where you're like surely no one but then jeff goldblum does and you're like oh okay okay yeah we tried it it looks a little like flambuki or fubu i don't know if y'all remember Flambuki. I do not remember FUBU. What is Flambuki?

It was like the style when I was in middle school. It was fancy, a little bit more expensive, sort of like dress shirts with different patterns all over. I consider myself a student uh and i have never heard of flambuki this is maybe a much smaller label only sold in south central i don't know i was gonna say i think this was a los angeles thing yeah wild wow i'm gonna have to look it up it sounds african but it was probably not african oh no i did i did not think it was so is it oh no no i did not think it was those prada shirts do look like mark echo collaborating with like the cheesecake factory kind of vibes or like cheese you know they're like insane print sometimes but yeah he pulls

them off yeah they look like those kids with the ball necklaces used to wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They look like the bass guitar player in an Offspring music video would have worn them in the 90s. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Jeff Goldblum, though. Great pick. Yeah, that guy's hot.

I've worked with him a few times, and there's an energy coming off him. Really? Yeah. I never met him, and I could feel it through every screen he's ever on. It's the exact energy you think it is. And it's fucking, it comes through. It's wild. I think he's got a pretty young wife and young kids and nobody's mad at him.

It's like, yeah. Yeah, dude, you should smash whenever you want to. His wife was like a professional modern dancer. I met her too. He guest hosted the Late Late Show. And she came. She was there the whole time just like hanging out. They seem like they have a great relationship.

Damn. And yeah. And he just wore a variety of amazing outfits. His suit closet just must be endless. You're talking about the shutout back. I bet. Well, no,

I bet that's, that's, I mean, that's different. Steve Harvey's got a, Steve Harvey's got a suit warehouse like Jay Leno, where he keeps his cars. I feel like it's in a Burbank.

I feel like the Burbank airport, but it's just Steve Harvey suits. It's got an airplane hanger. Yeah. It's just like sectioned by color. Like he's got a pastel wing. Yeah. You gotta put up, you have to put on like a, a bioazard suit and get on an ipad and like you push in the suit

and then like a robot delivers it it's like the nike warehouse you just go through with the scanner yeah that's right one of these one of these uh hell yeah great pick jeff goldblum the prototypical zaddy absolutely i can't believe't believe Steve Harvey went for it. Sean. I tried to stay away from the two in the group. I'll be thinking about that forever. I love it. I like it.

Good. I really love it. All right. Damn. Okay. So some of the big hitters off the board. I'm going to get made fun of a lot. As I look at my list, I wrote it.

Yeah. Anyway, it's not my turn.'re gonna stand on it you're great i'm gonna take an up and comer here oh shit i'm gonna take i'm gonna take uh not not i don't know if he's one of the powerhouse daddies but i think is is has gotten there and i think will continue to like grow in power as a Zaddy. This is like a pick I'm taking for the next 10 years of Zaddydom. I'm taking Mahershala Ali. Oh, crap. Whoa, that was a great pick.

Okay. Damn. That is good scouting, Ian. Yeah, it is. That is good recruiting. He wasn't on any Google lists for this. You went down to Mississippi State and you made sure he could run the routes. I saw this. He wasn't on any Google lists for this. You went down to Mississippi State, and you made sure he could run the routes.

I saw this. They were putting up numbers. He's 47. He's 47. He's got two Oscars. You know, three SAG Awards. That doesn't really matter. What he's got is a face that's getting a little bit older.

Yeah. Hair with just a little bit of gray peeking in there every now and then. Yeah. And the man can fucking dress. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The man can fucking dress. He's beautiful.

He looks like he smells amazing. His IMDb, he's got one of those long coats on. Yeah. Exactly. Yes, exactly. That Oscars hat. That Oscars hat. He's a hat zaddy.

He'll wear a beanie precariously rolled up on his head and it looks amazing and he'll wear that one i don't even know what that hat is i don't know he has a flat top sometimes yeah man yeah that's a good one that's that's a good pick he throws differently his name sounds yiddish which i like maher shala ali i just think I just think he's about to like own Zadidom for the next 10 years that's a great pick he's got the vibe, he's got the style, the swagger the energy, just that confidence

of like, I know you all want me and all of your little girlfriends want me but uh you can't have me I've got other things that's a Zaddy ass sentence I know you other things. I've got another appointment. That's a zaddy ass sentence. I know you want me. I know all your little girlfriends want me.

I mean, so my shoulders would sink if someone said that to me. I'd be like, oh, you're right. I'd just drop my ice cream on the ground. And then he like kisses you on the forehead. Yeah. I say thank you and I give him some money and i just walk away thanks here you go here you go thank you i imagine jeff goldblum kisses everybody on the forehead but it's like frowned upon now but like i still want it i bet it okay because you

know when you get a kiss and it's a peck or it smushes i bet he smushes on your dog yeah yeah you know i'm talking about yeah you get me about four bowls of loudmouth soup deep and jeff goldblum in the right mood i would find out what it felt like that's what would happen whoa that's what i would find that's what would happen if we're on like a yacht somewhere at a party some if somehow we're there i'm finding out you're on a yacht you've had four jaeger bombs that's a bowl of loud mouth. A seal's pissing in the bathroom. Yeah.

And you turn to Jeff Goldblum and you say, you trying to find out? I go, Goldblum, Goldblum, help me in the shitter. Someone broke the binge pump.

Yeah. Bilge. I said bilge. Bilge. Goldblum, the bilge is stuck. I just like the sentence Goldbloom help me in the shitter

Then he comes down Shirt open Yes he is a shirt open On the boat He's in linen I need to see this calendar now Can y'all make a zaddy's calendar Steve Harvey's Mr. January

Steve Harvey's January If I ever meet him I'm gonna call mr january and he's gonna get it somehow he'll he'll learn about this thank you sean thank you sean you're the only one who sees steve harvey is mr jan January If a calendar starts If you didn't tell me the theme of the calendar And I just knew that January Was Steve Harvey shirtless I would have no guess as to what was gonna happen

In the following months I would have no idea What's August? If this is January What's August? How are we gonna close this? Who's Christmas? Somebody's just like, we didn't plan for August.

We don't think we're going to be around anymore. Yeah, if Steve Harvey's in January, you're not making it past May for sure. No, you'll be pregnant. Mahershala Ali, time for my second pick. I'm letting my heart steer this ship. I learned a lot out at sea the last couple days. And sometimes you have to let the tide take you where you're going to go. And my next pick, I'm taking Javier Bardem.

Oh, yeah. Okay, we're trying to get sexy sexy. I didn't know. Javier Bardem is sexy. He is so sexy. But then you look at Antonavier Bardem is sexy. He is so sexy. But then you look at Anton Chigurh and he is not sexy. And I don't know how that happened. The talent to pull that off is sexy.

Yeah, it's just crazy, though, because you look at that and you're like, Anton Chigurh is like so scary and unsexy. Him in Skyfall? That is not a sexy character either, except. Is that where he's blonde? Yeah. But they kind of got this weird sexy energy still. him in skyfall that is not a sexy character either except is that where he's blonde yeah but they kind of got this weird sexy energy still even even anton chigurh his accent you know what i think it is he's got a huge face huge he does man's head that man's head is gigantic bowling ball it's not

a big heavy head it's like a big pumpkin. It's like a big, sexy. I bet you he blows out new eras on the reg. He can't even. He goes into a Lids and they're like, we ain't got it. They call corporate as soon as he walks in. You got to go to the Kangol store. That shit stretches. The new kid's in there crying, dude.

He's been with her for two weeks he wasn't ready for javier bardem to walk he wants the fitted and stitching he's gonna be here he can't even get one how's he gonna get his half off i don't know what to do yeah man that guy's hot though you're right you wonder where javier bardem was born las palmas de gran canaria in the Canary Islands in Spain, dude. What was that sexy movie he was in with, I want to say Penelope Cruz? Vicky Cristina Barcelona? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That was where I saw it, where I was like, oh, shit. Because I had only known him from No Country, right? And then he did that one, and you're like, oh, okay. This is another gear. I like it. He's about to be in Dune, dude.

Can you imagine just him? How dismayed would you be if you were in Cannes? You know what I mean? You're in the south of France. You saved up for a long time. You're there with your lady. You're having a great time. You're gazing at each other's eyes, and then you see her eyes just kind of move off to the left a little bit.

Which they would. And then you look behind you, and Javier Bardem has just stepped off a boat shirt so open necklace and the taco meat you can smell him coming he smells amazing and he just walks right up sits at your table and starts a conversation with the person you're there with you got to get up and leave yeah i probably take off you got to fight it please leave please be a cool boyfriend and leave now you gotta go you can't stay with that i'd get up i'd be like don't ever tell me about it and i'll see you tomorrow yeah oh my god yes i don't ever want to hear anything about it and uh just don't let it ruin our love i'm gonna go punch a wall for 12 hours

so see yeah so is he yeah I bet Javier Bardem has spent more money on suede than I've spent on anything in my entire life yeah yeah and you have a Bentley I have a Bentley let's get that rumor going Javier Bardem did you know there's nice

he's the there's the rapper who put the satin in your panties so javier bardem's the actor who put the suede in your bentley janae it's time for your second pick man this is like the sexiest list y'all have done yeah and uh this is wild i didn't even know i was super into this to all the selections steve harvey's quarterback in it i forgot about him for a second he's sexy you guys are out of your mind there's a game show host you could have anyway i won't talk about it yeah you could pick pig dead alec trebek i'm like much sexier definitely would if we were picking first uh folks that were no longer with us he would have been the first pick for sure um well this one is uh i'm so down with this i

think the whole a lot of people in this country would definitely be down with this even people who hate him would be down with this one very smart wise sexy barack obama oh yeah yeah yeah damn yeah that was on my list give it up to the man barack obama we all your grandmama like him your niece likes him we all like yeah he might he might he might after after the bar you guys go outside you're talking he's spitting game he might light up a cigarette yeah yeah yeah you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, man. He's retired. He might take a quick hit at a private party. Oh, yeah. Tiny little hit.

I bet he taps his cigarette on his hand to pack the tobacco in when he looks you in the eye. Yeah. And says something, like, pretty poignant. You're like, whoa. They're ready for all that. I don't know. I thought we just left the bar. I thought it was 2 in the morning, and here you are.

Then he roasts your, you you're like your your outfit a little bit feels good though yeah he's like sean what are those yellow shoes i like them i like them yeah oh man it hurts it hurts he gives like that handshake hits you with that pulls you in it would feel good to bathe in his reflected sunlight even for a moment you know what i mean just just the power that comes off that person just the power off that man it would just feel so good i don't think i could do anything with him i could just giggle i don't think i could follow through with anything that's how i feel about my show yeah yeah yeah i interacted with barack obama over zoom for like 20 seconds once. And it was like too much.

It was too much. I'm still kind of floating on it a little bit. He's amazing. That's crazy. You get Barack, Jeff Goldblum, Steve Harvey in the same room. Come on. Come on. I'll tell you what.

A tornado might tear the roof off. Barack and Jeff Goldblum are definitely hanging on what Steve Harvey is saying in that room you know i'm right steve harvey's running that room yes he is he sure fucking is running that room barack obama's running a room that barack obama is in dude nope i bet you steve harvey takes control of that conversation real quick if steve harvey tried to talk over barack obama not talk over flick him right in the tooth yeah to talk over Barack Obama. Not talk over. I'd flick him right in the tooth. Yeah. Not talk over. They're having a fun. I bet you they want it to happen.

I bet you Steve Harvey is the fun in that conversation. No, because Barack Obama's funny. He is funny. We're shitting on Steve Harvey so much. Steve Harvey is. We're not. He's perfect. You're the one who brought him into this.

You brought a good old dependable family dog to the fucking Westminster dog show, dude. And you're like, why doesn't anybody like Jesse? Everybody loves Jesse. Everybody loves Jesse. It's a beautiful dog. We love that dog. Jesse moved across the country with me. It's a good dog.

But you brought the dog to the fucking Westminster Dog Show, and there's like weird fucking Weimaraners that cost like $6.3 million and shit, and you're like, why doesn't anybody like Jesse? He's a good dog. You did this. Jesse didn't have sex with my friends. Jesse didn't cheat on me. Jesse was there.

You're the one who brought Jesse to the dog show. It's on you. Don't look at us. Oh, man. Jesse might have a couple friends before the dog show's over. Oh, man. I love it. Yeah, Barack Obama.

I mean, speaking of being able to dress, too, that guy's just like, that guy looks good in a suit. And that's the thing about zaddies, too, is like, I feel like they got to dress age appropriate. Yes. There's a lot of zaddies who are trying to be too young, and that's not, I don't need you to do Scotty Pippin it, right? I don't need you to just dress like a 20-year-old. Yeah, definitely not. Also, somebody go get him. Can someone please just go get him can steve kerr

just like go help his teammate out you know what i mean just pick him up take him somewhere man you know what he needs a heart to heart with like a dude where's horace grant right now where's horace grant and all this what's going on with scotty pippen uh future had sex with his wife well that'll boy that'll wreck anyone man that'd be a oh sorry scotty it's been a it's been a rough year for scotty he's dressing nuts i didn't know all that i might just put him on the list then to help him out what do you think of that yeah no yeah. Finish off your charity list. I'm not going to put up with this much longer.

I'll come to Denver early. You think I won't? I'm here. Not for long. You keep dragging Steve through the mud. David Borey. Whose name are you going to drag through the daffodils? What's your next pick?

Oh, this is an easy one. I am taking Jon Hamm. Yeah, the Hamm. All right. Yeah. And judging by some of those pictures you see on the internet, they could call him Ham John and it'd be okay. Yeah, they could.

Okay. He might be dragging something through the mud himself. Yeah, Jon Hamm, he's funny, seems to not take himself seriously. I bet he smells incredible he seems from what i've heard he's very personable like yeah john ham man sean you've interacted with john ham he was he should not have been as cool to me as he was both times i was yeah yeah i lied too i was like hey my girlfriend and i just got in a bike can i take a picture with you and somebody was standing there and they're like why would that help and I was like I just want to take a fucking picture with him and I don't know I couldn't ask him directly anyway he was he was

like he was like sure of course we could take a picture and then we stood outside and yeah smoked his cigarettes for I don't know an hour you've got kind of a john ham vibe dude you could i think he would have respected you on just some like uh handsome brunette dude shit i think you could have gotten that would have been nice he was i mean it was it was he was he's real cool he's a comedy guy he's like a big comedy fan so yeah i heard he used to really like go to a lot of comedy shows before he blew up he would go to ucb all that's like i think just like sit at ucb like sit in the crowd and shit yeah john ham john straightforward traditional my my my list i found i like very traditional zaddies i guess i don't have anything crazy on hey the class classics for a reason you

know john ham is classic for a reason i'm picking corvettes i'm picking gto's john jordan yeah time for your second and third picks as it is a serpentine draft now Corvettes, I'm picking GTOs. Sean Jordan. Yeah. Time for your second and third picks, as it is a serpentine draft. Now, Steve Harvey's off the board. Steve Harvey's gone. I'll reel it in a little bit. Don't. Well.

No, you be your beautiful self. I am, but it feels like I'm reeling it in. But I have to imagine that you guys are going to think this is a proper pick. But I'm going robert redford second pick yeah yeah yeah maybe not now see i think so i think he's always sexy and he's like like 80 he's about as old as i'm going but yeah he's 85 he's god see good for him i mean he okay so he dresses fucking amazing. He always has. I mean, I guess he's not going to go pump out a kid or anything, but I mean, you know.

Wait, Robert Redford right now? Okay. He just looks a little cashed out. He's still handsome. I need to drop a picture because I used to love Robert Redford. Dude, this is going to be a wild chat. Okay, I'll be a wild chat. Okay. If we just got pictures of only my pics in the chat, it's sexy Steve Harvey and 85-year-old Robert Redford.

Hold on. I'll screen share real quick. Hold on. I used to always think he was extremely handsome. I was super into him. I used to watch his movies a lot. He is. I'm thinking of Indecent Proposal.

That's not fair. thinking i'm thinking of indecent proposal that's not fair everybody focus on that black and white picture for me focus on that black and white recently oh the one in the sink why is he got why does his shirt say the sink on it you know who he looks like it's brad pitt's um oldest dad brad pitt's great aunt is what he looks like now i know i'm thinking of brad pitt's um shire uh the one the beautiful oh shiloh shiloh yeah oh i was gonna say shire pitt is an incredible name that is yeah robert redford i just always thought robert i thought and there's i really just wanted to tell this story i've told it before but janae i don't think you'd be crazy if you heard this but when

indecent proposal came out uh i was with my buddy and his mom and the whole premise of that movie is like he pays a million bucks to have sex to have a night with someone's wife my buddy's mom looks over and she goes you wouldn't need to pay me a million bucks. We were like six. She pretty much was like, I would fuck him for free to a six year old. Back to the indecent proposal. Oh yeah. That energy was very zaddy energy for sure.

I'm giving you indecent proposal here, Robert Redford on this pick. Okay. I mean, I'll take 85 year old. I don't, he's 85. It might kill him at this point,

so we're kind of respecting the legend. He can't get the whammy put on him. Not anymore. All right. Whammy. It's okay. Father put this whammy on you, baby. Yeah, that new hip can't handle the whammy.

I'll calm it down a little bit, and I'll go, let's see if this one hits. Third pick, Daniel Craig. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. yeah dude oh yeah how old is daniel craig i don't know just the right edge just right any bond can get it yeah don't look it up take a guess i'll look it up real quick take a guess how old you think i don't know i i would guess that he's like 50 i thought i was gonna say 47 i'm but no that dude's in his 50s. That's a 54-year-old man, I think. Did you say 54, Jadae?

I say 54, yeah. 53. Ooh. Yeah. Okay, okay. I thought he was like 60 until I just looked it up. But yeah, he's, god damn, he's attractive. Well, you know what they say, white is crack.

Crack is white. Crack is white, dude. Yeah. He's a white-ass cracker. They do be saying that. White-ass cracker? Why does he look so young? Well, crack's white, so... Just getting it all wrong.

He is gorgeous. The man is gorgeous. The man can wear a suit. That accent. The accent. And then when you you look at like his fit in um knives out and he just looks so dope in just in anything he dressed so nice yeah and he's a good bond he's just he's just dope he's all he's got it all him walking out of the ocean is like yeah that's a that's a seminal moment yeah it wasn't like the uh typical petite looking body although he probably is petite for an actor it was like had something you could grab on it yeah yeah

he didn't v at all he was just like right yeah it's like a fucking it's like a pylon that's this that's this that's the sound of uh steve harvey making love robert redford's in the back like you slow down you gotta slow down it's gonna hurt tomorrow if you don't you just take it easy you can't this is the first night steve steve harvey sounds like someone warming up a tilt-a-whirl like people aren't on it yet it's the driver on the car he's have to give it he's got a pull started yeah starting starting a car that doesn't start every day but like most of the time it starts just fine that's always just to go back that's always been one of my tests to see if someone is like cool or not is if they do a funny sound or impersonation

and if they'll do it the exact same way again like if they go with the bit like you just did it's always in my mind has been one of my tests of like if someone's cool or not oh thank you because some people won't they get embarrassed and i'm like what do you just do it just do it again it's funny what are you doing but anyway yeah a little part of me a little inside of me Yeah, a little part of me. A little inside of me. Inside of me. That's it. Daniel Craig, DC.

I'm still imagining Robert Redford moving his bangs out of the way to be sexier. I don't know. He's old sexy. I feel like... Old sexy. He's old, dude. I'm into old dudes, too. Who are you going to dinner with? Mr. January and Old Sexy. I feel like... Old Sexy. He's old, dude. I'm into old dudes, too. Who are you going to dinner with?

Mr. January and Old Sexy. Old Sexy. Old Sexy. If I walked into a bar and you, Steve Harvey, and Robert Redford were in the corner, I wouldn't know what was happening.

I'd be having a good time is what would be happening. You got to go get God on the phone after that. I'd tell my date, thank God we went to Red Robin. I just talked Steve Harvey and Robert Redford into going to Red Robin with me. When was the last time you guys had a good onion ring? When was the last time you guys had a good onion ring? Oh, man. That's how you describe Fred Robin.

When was the last time you guys had a really good onion ring? Like a thick onion ring. Like a $2 onion ring. Daniel Craig, dude. Daniel Craig's high. He's married to Rachel Weisz, like it was beautiful just a beautiful couple oh he is yeah i didn't know that yeah he's sexy you got it he said he also it seems like he could fight even though he's an actor i don't believe he can actually fight he just he seems like a little rough not too soft british accent you got a winner right there giving himself stitches you wouldn't be surprised to find out

he was in the British military in his early 20s. You'd be like, yeah, okay, I'll buy that. Or maybe he went to Juvenile Hall, whatever the British version is. Yeah. The Tower. The Tip Top. Is it? No, I made that up.

Damn! You are good. I believe that. The chav tank. The chav tank. A bit of time in the tip-top. Right in the tip-top. As a young bloke. I should tell you, I should tell you, love, I did spend a little bit of time in the tip-top.

Before things go further, Rachel, I need to tell you I spent a fortnight in the tip top that's 13 days 14 isn't it is it 14 days I was talking about a baker's fortnight okay

I'll see that's what that's where you got confused oh yeah that's what you got confused. Oh, yeah, see, that's not my fault. I'm talking about a bankers for a night. Danny Craig, dude, hell yeah. David Borey, time for your third pick. Another real classic. Jeez, sorry.

Basic, what? I like that. Jeez. Another real classic, basic zaddy. I'm going uh lenny kravitz oh yeah i thought i'd be able to get him late i'm a nice when did he he split his pants and everyone saw his hog like a year ago right yes well that was a couple years ago he spilled his leather pants and his penis fell out yeah you heard about it david you didn't look no i didn't see it i saw that's how gif of it yeah it kept happening over and over again it was pretty fun it's pretty fun yeah yeah i mean that guy that whole somehow he hooked up with the other person who has the

best genetics in the world and then they're all gonna look like that when i die yeah yeah it is insane that's it's nuts like both of them their daughter i don't even understand it what does he eat does he consume things that we consume raw greens yeah i watched a whole video about it and i was like i will change my life for you lenny kravitz that's it that bloodline just looks fascinating to me like when you look at a lenny kravitz he's so attractive but you're like you just look so good and i think we can all agree it's the kravitz part right i think we're all dancing around the issue it's that it's that kravitz it's that strong jewish blood that my people have passed down from generation to generation it's a i mean there's a few jewish guys on the zaddy list you took jeff goldblum you know come on they're up

there we age well baby we age well oh i think we can all agree it's the crap it's the crap it's the harvey in in the lineage you're just like that you got some of that harvey in you it's not the steve oh man yeah letty kravitz man i mean that's dope excellent choice i'm looking at plenty kravitz's dad now psy kravitz he does look better getting older too i think that's another zaddy thing it's like somebody that was handsome enough before and then they got older and you were like my goodness you have come into your own what is that it's so weird that that happens with a lot of these dudes he does not look like his father. No, Cy Kravitz.

What the fuck? Yeah. That's his dad? Yeah. Wait, put that up where I can see it. Where's that? Is that where the Kravitz is coming from? Let's throw it in the...

I'm sharing it. Oh! What? He doesn't look bad. He's a handsome... You can see it when you look at him on that picture on the right. You can see it, right? Yeah.

Like in the eyes. Barely. Boy, you can see how they're you know what about when sy was young that's oh that's a good point we need a young sy kravitz it's just a young sy Kravitz. He was a little bit older when he. I mean, I think this is a situation which happens a lot where you get two regal parents and then they just shit out a diamond. Yeah. Look at that picture, dude. When are we going to take? When are we all going to take this picture with our dads? What is that?

Cy Kravitz looks like he was an extra in the bronx in a bronx tale in that picture he is gnarly looking yeah sy kravitz his family didn't come to america they grew out of the ground in brooklyn yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's that body living kravitz has that body that you know came from eating clean and like meditating like yeah he works out but mostly just to chop down coconuts and stuff right like he's never eaten a flaming hot cheeto no gosh no it is like not one time that eating clean whenever i think my version of eating clean which is just putting something in the oven instead of the microwave or whatever but then i'll like i'll pinch i'll pinch my side i'm like what do i gotta do i skate like two hours a day like stop eating stop sneaking oreos at night when you're fucking

going in the kitchen to get a drink of water all that shit you just don't think about it and then you see someone like lenny kravitz eats fruit as a treat like legitimately like that's like i'm cheating what a good way to say yeah. Yeah, I'm going to cheat and have some strawberries today. He's like, ooh, some rhubarb. What a good way to say it. Eats fruit as a treat. Ooh, some rhubarb. Lenny Kravitz. Great pick.

Janae, time for your third pick. All right. A lot of my zaddies were formed in my youth, and I still love them. Of course. This zaddy is still hot, y''all somehow history has locked him in time uh king triton from the little mermaid you just you just did what david does shirtless the whole time he was fucking hot. Yeah. You just changed my whole world right there. Classic zaddy, too. It's like, he's an actual dad.

He's strong. Powerful. Get this. I just looked up King Triton. Javier Bardem in Talks to Play Triton in The Little Mermaid. Yes. Really?

Oh, man, it's all coming together. It's all coming together. All coming together. So it's all happening. Anytime you see a picture of like, you know, like one of those like listicles where it's like, you won't believe this hot older male model or whatever. You know what I mean?

Yeah. They always look like King Triton in like a, in like a, uh, uh, one of those, like, Oh,

what's that band, which is one of those tweed suits. They're like in a tweed suit and they look like King Triton in like a Mumford & Sons suit. That's what it is. Yeah. He's also wearing those like gauntlets

so you know he's a freak. Oh, yeah. What are the, wait, what are those? The things on his wrist. Oh, those are called gauntlets? Basically bracelets. Like bangles? Yeah.

I used to think those are called brains when I was a kid Oh those those like Thick those things like off with out of a conda type of situation. Yeah And that guy's a deep does he have a dick can try yeah, yeah Okay, I just asking you got kids Maybe nah something. Well, how does that you just kind of even if he doesn't have a dick he has a daddy so need dicks they they have energy that's fair that's fair they get it done other ways that's fair he's also like an authority figure he's

always forbidding things which is like big a big zaddy thing to do yeah i forbid it oh easy zad yeah easy are you a zad after you get divorced and like you only have custody on the weekends i'm a step zad king tribe was such a good pick yeah that really yeah that changed it all up for me he's great that movie that movie had some fucking attitude ursula the sea witch was like uh has become a real like a real like i don't know just energy out in the world i know some ursula the sea witches oh yeah you can do whatever you want when you got nice tits like that you can say whatever you want i got a voice and some boobs who's gonna stop me she's good to go yeah ursula the sea witch i knew like about when i lived in portland still i knew several ursula

the sea witches who like did burlesque yes yeah yes and just lived their whole life as ursula the sea witch big market king triton excellent pick it's time for me to make my third and then my fourth picks as it is a serpentine draft i'm gonna take man there's some people on the board where i'm like this surely this person should go but i'm i'm gonna go i'm gonna go oscar isaac oh oh okay yeah your list is very eclectic yeah it's an eclectic list zaddy i see him as sort of youngish but he's a young he's another up-and-coming zaddy i think he's how old he's in this he's 42 he's 42 okay i mean but he's got he's a guatemalan 50 he's he is perfect look i mean this dude i love oscar isaac just for his acting alone that dude gets it done i'm just i'm pulling up a picture here to bolster my zaddy claim oh yeah look at that okay he's letting

himself go gray so he's gonna be in uh the they're doing a godfather series called the it's called um the favor or something it's something, but he's going to be in that, and I'm excited for it. Him and Jessica Chastain, I think. Ooh. Yeah. What the fuck is it called? The Favor? I don't know.

Anyway, it's going to be dank. He is an amazing actor. He can go everywhere. You get him in Drive. You get him in Ex Machina. Yeah. He's all over the place. I think he checks all the zaddy boxes.

He's young. I'll give you that. He's young for his zaddy, but he checks all the boxes. He he looks great in a long coat he's got kind of a cool simmering energy he feels like he's seen some shit yeah i think he has him and him and redford could balance each other out on the age list he's he's not going out of his way for anything at this point no he's got such a good look to him too yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Like a stern jaw. He looks so serious, but inviting at the same time somehow. He's beautiful. He's a beautiful man.

Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Oscar Isaac. And then I got to take, I got to go to the Hall of Fame. I got to take almost pre the term zaddy zaddy. I know. But just like a fucking silver fox, if there ever was one. I'm taking George Clooney.

I got to get clones off the board. Yeah. Yeah. That's a blue chip. That's a blue chip. It's almost boring to take them in a draft like this because of course, bread. Yeah.

Thoroughbred. Thoroughbred. Right there. Yeah. We've had plenty of not boring shit, so it's fine. Yeah. George Clooney in there.

He's got a fucking tequila brand, you know, as if he doesn't get picked. He's got a fucking tequila brand, you know? As if he does an espresso ads. Nobody's ever worn a suit the way George Clooney wears a suit. At least no one living. Yeah. That man fucking wears a suit. George Clooney is the reason that I might show up to some weddings looking the way I do.

And someone's like, why the fuck do you think it's okay to dress like that at a wedding? And I'm like, well, George Clooney can do it. Yeah, not you, man. What are you talking about? you should put a tie on just like sometimes i'll like a couple buttons unbuttoned not casual at all like or not not dressed up at all like very casual looking but where someone like george clooney looks perfect when they do that well that suit is tailored baby yeah that's a world i haven't entered yet i nothing is tailored i i can't wait to get something tailored because i hear it's like the best it's great the suit moves with you suit moves with you you don't you know you're not

working against anything there yeah george george fucking clooney i love the little the little pranks you know he seems like it'd be fun to hang out with piggy lake como for the weekend i bet that give you a million dollars yeah is that what he did he gave all his homies a million bucks right yeah he did indeed or like his 12 friends from childhood or something gave them all a million bucks imagine being that 13th friend i would be that'd be a tough line like i bet you these the 12 friends are like they all know something or like that that's that's a pretty hard line to draw they all know where the bodies are they all know the secret ingredient casamigos dude yeah blood no it's a little breast milk man cluny cluny lactates he could dude he could sell that people would buy it janae time

for your fourth pick fourth pick uh this one i think of all the zaddies we've listed, this is the sexiest as well as the most unattainable zaddy on the list. Ricky Martin. Wow. I had him on my list, too. I did not think of that. Have you seen these pictures of him? Well, he's got the most beautiful husband. I'm so annoyed.

Oh, yeah. It's like, just fuck me ricky please make let's make kids together but he there's this picture of him with the white beard and dark hair it's like insane like i did not think i was into that. And he looks so beautiful. He looks like the epitome of a zaddy. And his style is flawless, of course. Yeah. And his just mannerisms, like on interviews, it's like, oh my God, you're just so lovely. Yeah.

He is gorgeous. Oh, I see the picture you're talking about. White beard. He's got like blue shirt on. How old is Ricky Martin? He's probably like 50 something, right? I think he's like late 40s, maybe. Really? I thought he'd got like blue shirt on how old is ricky martin he's probably like 50 something right i think he's like maybe really i thought he'd be like 55 well he's never really gonna tell no yeah it's all fake whatever you look up the internet says 49 man yeah yeah exactly yeah and then to see him with all his kids it's just like wow family man too daddy and zaddy

you think anybody calls him rick you think anybody in his life calls him rick martin there's no way right like the neighbor that he doesn't want like the neighbor that won the lottery so he lives in the neighborhood dude rick i'm having a barbecue you want to come on over rick martin is such a different dude than ricky martin i went to high school with rick martin yeah everybody went to high school with a rick martin has a stealer's tattoo rick martin went to dadc he works on diesel trucks now rick martin wore cargo shorts to a wedding his wife got him a utila kilt for christmas rick martin sneaks his own liquor into his bar rick martin's got a couple loose ferrets in his house and he thinks you're weird for bringing it up rick martin honestly doesn't know what taxes are he wears one of those t-shirts where a horse

is hanging in a noose what is that what is that shirt hung like a horse oh okay oh rick mart Martin doesn't have a bald spot he's got a solar panel for a sex machine he's that kind of guy exactly I saw a funny one of those the other day it was a bear with antlers and it just said beer under it pretty funny it got me

I chuckled oh I get it I get it I chuckled i didn't want to but i did it took me you have a daughter yeah yeah i could laugh at that kind of shit now i guess huh or i shouldn't you should that's for dads man that's for dad i would have laughed i would have laughed a couple years ago if like if somebody next to the to the gentleman in the erection specialist shirt had the beer deer shirt on out of left at both of them more so at the erection specialist because yeah you loved it it's funny sell them at a store called shirts for dads these shirts are for dads it's dad shirt shirts for dads

come on down to shirts for dads man ricky martin's husband rick martin owns shirts for dads rick martin does own shirts for dad and you just point out the joke on the shirt before people even have a chance to look at the shirt total like you see how it says erection specialist i'm not it's a boner thing take a look at that ain't that funny that's funny i don't care who you are that's funny rick martin uh david time for your fourth pick i think that my fourth pick. Jamie Foxx. Yeah.

All right. Okay. Jamie Foxx. Yeah, man. He's just going to be able to wear a sweatsuit until he dies. Yeah. Yeah. So cool.

He seems like he has very expensive sunglasses. Yes. He's fit. I'm sure he smells great. He's got an award-winning smile. Hella fit. He's hella fit, yes. He kept it tight.

Yeah. He kept it tight. Excuse me, Mr. Fox, but you really kept it tight. I mean, I may say. Yeah. Great set, but you kept it tight excuse me mr fox but you really kept it tight yeah i mean i may say yeah great set but uh you kept it tight yeah man jamie fox he's just like a very old handsome man you could play stevie like steven willie beeman right now yeah it would be the same movie yeah it would be the same it was his co-star who is also probably a zaddy so i won't mention those two could they could do it oh my god there's this picture of him from entertainment weekly

let me see hold on i'll share screen again i'm sorry for the listeners at home but just look up jamie fogg google yeah do it with us look up i love it on a podcast when they look it up i look it up too It's from Entertainment Weekly Jamie Foxx on Netflix's Project Power and Pixar's Soul He did keep it tight That dude's got a back on him He's getting ready to do Mike Tyson movie right?

Yeah that's right He's going to be a perfect Mike Tyson He's going to be so good Man that was a Man I love how excited you were that just made me really talking to me yeah you're like dude he's gonna that's perfect jamie foxx's mike tyson is going right in sean's rotation that's going right yeah i love david yeah you're watching your movies that's the new casino for you. Yeah. Oh, that's going to be dank, dude.

I can't wait. Yeah, Jamie Foxx. He's putting out a lot of dad energy now to be like, hey, I'm an older guy. I have an adult daughter. It's like, yes, you have moved solidly into zaddy category. Yeah, he's not trying to be. I think for a while it felt like he was just trying to hold on to being a young guy. And now he's kind of like embracing that he's an old guy. May we all be gifted with such wisdom. have to you have to hug that curve man you really gotta you really

gotta do that i do not want to be one of these la old guys no adam gives me shit about it what are you trying to dress too young and i'm trying to ease into dressing my i never thought i dressed too young but he says like loud shirts and shit so trying to trying to not look like i'm doing that with this stuff you could wear skating that's different than like you know what you'd wear out to dinner with people it's really just like yeah i'm getting definitely like i and i really enjoy putting on a button up now more than i ever did it's like when i when we're gonna go get some drinks and dinner somewhere like or when we used to do shit like that and just putting on what looks to be decent stuff not just throwing on like the closest t-shirt you know oh yeah just feel it feels nice feels nice putting some dope some nice shit on david you're um i'm very much

in alignment with your list thank you you are really tuned in i'm really trying to be a hot old dude yeah yeah i feel like we're all really banging the list out like in an even way i feel like we're all i really feel like everybody i feel like everybody kind of has different stuff so like there's something for everyone out there who listens there's something yeah janae i feel you i yeah no definitely i really also that older but better thing I really take that to heart like my 20s was fine I was cute my 60s yeah that's gonna be unstoppable

oh yeah even my 40s might get too hot I'm knocking on the doorstep right now baby it's gonna be interesting full head of hair coming into 40 you You'll be fine. I do have a full head of hair. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you got good head of hair there.

That's like the main commodity. But yeah, Jamie Foxx is my pick. Jamie Foxx can wear a nice suit or a sweatsuit for sure. Like he can pull those off so well. He's got the Nelly dynamic. Sweat or suit. Sweat or suit. Sweat or suit. That's right.

I think Nelly looks better in sweats than the suit. Oh, yeah. Nelly didn't look good in the suit. Because Nelly's still probably going to wear tennis shoes, and you're going to be like, what? I mean, some guys can wear it, but Jamie Foxx, I feel like he can figure all of that out. He could do the very artsy stuff.

He could do the Jeff Goldblum colors. Yeah, he navigates it well. He's going to have some nice jewelry on and you know he smells hella good. Oh my God. You know he does. Lotioned up. Glistening.

Just smells amazing. Not glistening. Moisturized. Supple. Moisturized. Supple. Steve Harvey was glistening in those shirtless pictures.

Jamie Foxx, supplele sean jordan time for your uh fourth and then your final picks as it is pick four i am going with my guy benicio del toro ah yes yeah okay he i was trying to just i i didn't think about it until i picked steve i was trying to look at what they look like now, or I guess Robert Redford and he's dope. He just looks amazing. Uh, always has.

And I'm a lot of this. I'm going off of like vibes I've gotten from their performances. And he just, uh, I don't know. He's always, I've always enjoyed him. Oh yeah.

But he still looks all right. I, I don't think he looks attractive anymore. He looks kind of busted now dude I think there's something about me that I might like that I don't know I feel like you're picking guys

who don't look better than you I see I think Benicio looks dope he looks fun does he? oh that's intense that's the worst possible. Does he look good? Oof.

Yeah. What's going on? What's happening to this particular... This is one picture that they're putting next to a bunch of other pictures. I saw a raisin bagel. Another one. Why did you skip over the one with that dank beard that he's got you're you're not doing it

you're not clicking on any of the ones that you would no no go up go up there you go yeah oh knock it off knock it off i mean he looks like a rush he looks like a russian author you can want to poke holes in the pics all you want but it looks like stephen king no he does not look like Stephen King. Stephen King looks insane. Anthony Lopez used to have a joke where he's like, you ever think you see Stephen King and it's just an old woman? He doesn't not look like Stephen King.

No, Stephen King with a beard. Stephen King has that same beard. God, Stephen King looks like Jeff Fahey, kind of. Now we're just on a weird rabbit hole. Yeah, Benicio. Is Stephen King your fifth? Or you already had your fifth pick? No, I did not.

My fifth pick will be, are we ready? Go on. Pierce Brosnan. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. A long legacy of being his addy. How do I share a picture in the chat?

Like, do I just click on the link? You can drop a link. Pierce Brosnan, I know because I auditioned for it, he's got a real zaddy role coming up. You auditioned for it? That's what I say now. I just, there's this picture of him with one of those, like, twirly mustaches and, like, a count goatee. I don't know, He looks like a count. And he's just very fun.

Yeah. Pierce looks cool old. Yeah. I had a real sexy interaction during Thomas Crown Affair back when people used to go to movie theaters. Yeah. He's fucking hot. That's a sexy movie. Yeah.

I was doing a lot. I was young, and I thought that's what you do at the movies. But, um... Hold hands? That was Crown Affair. Isn't it funny when you look back and you're like, no, that's not what you do at the movies? Did you hold hands at the movies?

You hold the hands somewhere. Wow. Depends on what you think hands are. Monet wasn't the only thing getting manhandled that night. Yeah, Pierce Brosnan. Shout out to the Thomas Crown Affair. That's a great watch. That's a great Sunday watch.

David, we're going to get to your final pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing,

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Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Here we are. Towards the tail end of the draft. We're drafting zaddies. It's a sexy time. It's a sexy time on All Fantasy. A lot of bodies being chosen.

Lots of bodies. Steve Harvey off the board. Body stuff. Benicio Del Bvey off the board body stuff benicio del busted off the board calling someone busted is so harsh like when you know it just really gets that point across exactly what you're trying to say is what you're saying when you're like oh they're kind of busted right like damn dude he looks like he looks so puffy in every picture like he has not had a good night's sleep in a long time daddy likes to go to cancun you know he's keeping it young daddy's still having fun he's still having fun benicio de j's. That's what you got. He's a big fan of this show, you know. He used to be.

First one that signed up for the calendar. Benicio DiGiorno. That's a shade name, right? Yeah, it sure is. Benicio DiGiorno. He looks like he's allergic to gluten or something. Yeah, but he doesn't know. He's got a late-in-life shellfish allergy.

He has no clue. Benicio, you can't just drink that beer. You can't have it. Well, I'm going to. He's like, I'm having beer with my sandwich. Get out of here. I'm having beer with this big sandwich. I want five beers with my giant sandwich and i

want it three times a day like no like why am i itching please stop uh david dunbar pick okay so this one is the furthest outside of my wheelhouse but i just saw him on a tv show and i was like damn good for you i'm taking kevin costner yeah he's on my list i love kevin costner look it look it share the screen in you got if you see it when i google him hold on let me pull it for kevin costner he's got a couple where you you're like oh damn he it's a good old guy he's dope dude uh every everything he's been hot his whole life and will continue to be he paid he paid the costner to be the bostoner dude that's for sure count it definitely not kevin di giorno huh no okay see what i'm saying okay oh yeah man that's what owning a restaurant in south dakota gets you you just look great for the rest that is does he own

a restaurant in south dakota sure does he's got some he's got like yeah see that now the goatee he comes and he goes with his yes he does like that goatee can take a fucking flying leap. I hate that. No, but he's got a full... Whoa, what is... What is this now? What's happening? I know. Let's get some more cowboys on this list. There he is.

Oh, he's in Yellowstone, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I saw him on. Yeah. That show is crazy. I was just watching The Bodyguard two nights ago. He's icy. Robin Hood.

Once again, one of your movies. Yeah, it is one of my movies. It's a good one. It's so good. I would never hurt the baby. I love Bodyguard. We quote it in my family. Dude, Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston is so good in that movie. Who you telling?

People that know. I'm just saying. She's phenomenal. And it made Kevin Costner sort of sexy, I think, for the black ladies it was like okay yeah a real hero okay we see you kevin breakout role for kevin costner and then draft day kevin costner draft star of draft day kevin costner janae time for your final pick okay i'm to pull an audible on this one because I had a pretty obvious handsome choice. You're going to bookend it with Steve Harvey?

Let's do it. Let's make this the first time that we do the same thing. This is an unusual one, but I like a well-rounded team here. Everybody plays their parts. This one's for the girls and for the boys. I'm going with RuPaul Charles. Oh! Yeah.

Yeah, that's... Absolutely. I've been watching a lot of Drag Race, and he does half the show in his suits. Yeah. And he looks amazing, and you know that you would fall for him if you saw him in person. Like, I could tell. Guaranteed. How old is he?

He doesn't remember, he says. God, that's... What a gangster-ass way to do it. So I didn't bother looking. I don't he says so that's what a gangster i don't want to know his business 50 something i think late 50s i love it i don't remember i'd just be like oh that's fine he's very handsome in a suit i saw him on the street one time in a suit and it was like even if i didn't know that was rupaul i would be like that that is somebody. I mean, who else could that be? That's if I were like, they matter. Yeah, the whole air. The whole air.

It's rare air. I think most of my list is tall guys, too. So I'm like, RuPaul is just lovely and handsome. And I think he's got that Jeff Goldblum energy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the energy is clutch, for sure. I'm into energy, y'all yeah no it's sexy i mean for real it's what somebody's like that's what's attractive oh yeah yeah

they're like steve harvey nothing funny about that god damn it steve harvey steve harvey is sexy as shit and i'm basing it off of what he's like also you i think you were basing it on his physicality i wasn also you i think you were basing it on his physicality i wasn't until you showed me those wet ass pictures and now i am that dude's got back muscles for days he does same ones as you no no well yeah technically they're the same i am so thrown by steve harvey for me he definitely gives that zonkle energy like i pretty he reminds me of my own uncles exactly no he's got he's got some zonk in the trunk a lot of people are thrown by steve harvey right onto the bed i'll tell you that no i don't like picturing him having sex everyone else on

this draft i'm like yeah i might watch that just out of curiosity right onto the waterbed by steve harvey just sloshing around yeah that looks like baby oil specifically too like it was not it was not for that picture rough seas he just the waterbed's filled with with melted butter oh my god what kind of jeans is he wearing in that photo too it's just like the wrong jeans i think they're michael jordan line jeans yeah i bet you they're so expensive and they don't look expensive they're carpenter jeans the worst kind of expensive shit they definitely have those side pockets it's carpenter products the product kirkland signature collab yeah they've got a hammer loop on them i like mustaches too but it's like that's i don't it's too much that's all stashed no muss

his mustache is different dude yeah his mustache yeah it's like the whispers must like it's too it's not well i'm not gonna sit i'm going to sit here and talk shit about the whispers. I like him enough for everybody. He's got a cartoon train conductor mustache. Like a mustache that would jump and leave his face if it was scared. Whoa. Oh no. Time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft.

And I'm going to take a man who's had a big year, but a man who's had a big career, a man who had a big night, Stanley Tucci. Tucci man. Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice. Tucci's a sneaker. Good job. Stanley Tucci. If you don't think he's a zaddy, watch his show where he

tours Italy. You'll fall in love. I like a Tucci man. I like a Tucci all day. Yeah, I watch him. Tucci man, dude dude he's a little guy and i think some zaddies have to be little too like oh he's he's little he's a little bald dude with amazing forearms and impeccable style yeah yeah he seems like he put his hand on the bottom like on your lower back if you're on a date or something and like i'd like to go to a party with him and wear some high heels and be way taller than him. But he'd be cool with it.

Cause like, that's not his first rodeo. Yeah. He's with it. Yeah. Cause he's got like enough, like, you know,

confidence and machismo and like, he's Italian. He's Italian. You gotta be able to be little. If you're Italian, put it on my tombstone. Yeah. Put it on your fucking,

but he see, I'll tell Jonah. That's the final pick. The final pick of the draft. Before we recap, Marissa, do you have a pick? Oh, yeah. I'm picking Canada's Zaddy,

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. There we go. That was on my list. The National Zaddy. Nice. To recap the draft, we went, Sean, you went first.

You went first. Give me this list you went no you took you were the first pick everyone on earth let's hear all these names together tell me you don't want to be at what's on the board steve harvey robert redford daniel craig benicio del toro and pierce brosnan Benicio Del Toro, and Pierce Brosnan. I'd watch that movie. I would watch that movie. I'd watch that movie. I'd watch that movie for sure. Steve's the comedy relief. Hopefully the first one killed. One Last Job, I'd watch that for sure.

David Borey, you went second. You took Idris Elba, Jon Hamm, Lenny Kravitz, Jamie Foxx, and Kevin Costner. Janae, you went third. You took Jeff Goldblum, Barack Obama, Lenny Kravitz, Jamie Foxx, and Kevin Costner. Janae, you went third. You took Jeff Goldblum, Barack Obama, King Triton, Ricky Martin, and RuPaul Charles. Amazing draft. Winner. I went last.

I took Mahershala Ali, Javier Bardem, Oscar Isaac, George Clooney, and Stanley Tucci. We left some amazing gentlemen on the board. Yeah. I had Diddy. Oh, Diddy. Interesting. Yeah. I had Diddy. Oh, Diddy. Interesting. I had Jay, too. But that was more of like I wanted it to work more than I think it actually works.

Daniel Day Kim. Pretty fucking hot. Oh, yeah. He's in his 50s now. Good job. He's kind of aging into being a zaddy. He's in his 50s. Yeah.

Sting. Don Johnson. Sting, for sure. Oh, Don Johnson. Cheadle. Yeah, Cheadle. cheetle yeah dancin i had jeff bridges on there jeff bridges bridges on there too michael fosbender oh yeah party joe manginiello anybody go with mitt romney mormon zaddy no i ain't kind of a zaddy got the grays on there if you're mormon you know you're fiending after Mitt Romney. Colin Firth snuck his way onto mine

along with Ice-T was on there. Ice-T? Ice-T? Could have got weirder. Sean, good lord. I didn't pick him. He was on there. What? As a zaddy? No more animated scar, Jafar.

Didn't even think about it. Ohufasa mr clean the brawny man come on if we were going in uh uh posthumous i would say uh alex trebek for sure i'd respect you would have been the number one pick uh you know what's an interesting thing so like denzel and brad pitt didn't come come up in this are they just hot still what happened yeah i think it's like not even interesting at this yeah the only thing about denzel is he's like thicker but he still looks young he's just thicker than he was brad pitt brad pitt's a lunatic i don't i don't know it's yeah he's definitely older than brad pitt Oh, yeah. Brad Pitt's definitely just still a hot guy. Yeah, he's not.

Denzel's no longer giving out the cool energy. He kind of isn't. He's a very uncle. He's his uncle. Let me tell you, hippie system gang, kid. It feels like that. Yeah, he's got a toothpick. Yeah.

Yeah, he kind of aged out of it. He let himself, he's's like I'm out of here I did it for fucking three decades I think that's good I did it for three decades I'm gonna go fucking have a I'm gonna have a beer with my sandwich I had five beers I had Bon Jovi on here what do you think of that you're weird

you're a weird thought about Bon Jovi yeah wow okay I had Billy Bob Thornton Ted Danson that's some weird moves I'm into billy bob very much i am too i think that's an energy guy right there yeah that's a good also very hot i he is he's got a fun look so but he i don't know he's a little weird for me i gotta know what sean means by hot like i gotta go back nobody knows this weird taste in guys i think there's no through line it's like how it's like we need a rosetta stone without it

there's no making sense of it it's like this language has no relation to any other modern language how do we decode it we need a rosetta stone i like it i have a weird if i'm looking at a dude being attractive it's to me i guess a different rubric or something i don't think chris paul's attractive that's a big one i think chris paul let's not go out on that let's not end like that i don't want to talk about that i don't want to talk about that anymore well don't talk about it i feel like you had your sexual awakening to a men's warehouse commercial my sexual awakening was to the what's love got to do with the video and that's yeah that was when one of those where i'm like i don't know what's going on but i like this that was my well that was the first time mine was a deborah cox

video i picked tina turner before i before I picked Steve Harvey for this daddy list. Big time. Big time daddy. Well we want to hear your daddy list. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. Thank you so much for holding us down. We love you.

Shout out to super producer Marissa on the ones and twos. The fucking champion. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. ones and twos. The fucking champion. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Back from Italy at this point. I think she just got back from Italy. Very nice.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Say his name, Sean. Steve Harvey? Hmm. Hmm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M.A. M. M.A. M. M.A. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. That was a hate gun podcast.