Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #10 - Walker and Aj defy the odds with the same disabilities

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

This episode we talk about Aj's disability, getting in trouble for inappropriate search history, Aj's new podcast contract, and we finally get to see Aj's bald head. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj i am walker bleach butthole and brazilian up baby i'm ready to party jesus number one podcast you've never heard of before let's get it pod number 10 let's fucking go walker what the fuck what the fuck it's been it's been a hectic week, you know? I came back from Atlanta and felt unclean, and it was time to take care of business. That adds up. Did you say bleached asshole?

I plead the fifth. You can't say that. They fucking plead the fifth. You're telling me this is no courtroom right now? I think I recommend pleading the fifth. Does that hurt? All right, I'll stop. That's probably smart.

Let's just move past that topic. Can we just talk about something real quick? Because I am thirsty and I would like my twee. Walker pulls up today with seven twisted tees and a pack of of damn new ports as you can see sitting right there um walker you're the man thanks dude good shit um yeah i need to grab my tweet though yeah i uh i've never bought a pack of cigarettes before and aj they just got this huge you know anxiety thing when it comes to buying lots of twisted teas at gas stations i was way more nervous about the cigarettes than i was the twisted tea yeah the only problem walker ran

into with the tweeze was how much space he had to carry them i had five under one arm i'm just gonna i'm gonna stop you i'm gonna stop you now i didn't want to interrupt you but i'm gonna say it's not a little anxiety thing it's a real thing buddy and you cannot make fun of people these are not little how's your little anxiety thing. It's a real thing, buddy. And you cannot make fun of people. These are not little. How's your little business going? No, it's a real fucking business. AJ, you're soft. A real issue.

AJ, I. You guys are haters and that is cancel culture. Don't give a damn. AJ, I'm sorry that I made you feel like I'm demeaning your anxiety thing. I suffer from anxiety too a lot. I was trying to minimize it maybe to not embarrass you. But if you want to talk, it is a thing. You're not going to make fun of my disability

and I'm just going to put up with it. Absolutely. But dude, we share the same disability. Autism and anxiety. Oh, I'm not letting you. Hold on. What did you say? What?

Anxiety. It's something that we both face. Sprinkle of the tism. Sprinkle. Just a sprinkle. Listen, you're on the spectrum. I love the spectrum. The spectrum is great. Dude, spectrum Wi-Fi. It's pretty good.

It's not too bad. Fuck that. That shit's trash. They sent us way too much mail. They raise my bill every year. They didn't even put our name my band. They sent us way too much mail. Fuck. They raised my bill every year. They didn't even put our name on it. They said, to the current homeowner. I'm like, bitch, you're not. You're depersonalizing this.

I deserve respect. Yeah, say my name or don't talk to me. But honestly, thank you for doing that. That was honestly awesome because that came out of nowhere, you buying everything. Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. Thanks, bro. Clutched up. Seven Twisted Teas and a buying everything. Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. Thanks, bro. Seven Twisted Teas and a pack of Newports, baby.

You buying cigarettes is like... Literally, I was dumbfounded. Because he walks in with the grocery bags. That's like a Friday thing. The seven Twisted Teas. He pulls them all out. I'm like, oh, seven Tweez. And then he reaches in one final time into the bag and throws the pack of Newports on the table.

And I was like, there's no fucking way Walker Smith bought a pack of Newports. Because Walker's, not that I'm a pro cigarette, but Walker's very anti-cigarette. So him buying a pack of Newports was baffling. Is that a word? I mean, yeah, yeah, that is a word, I think. When I came home and I saw the whole podcast Set up and all that I just Turned you up a notch I wasn't expecting to walk out and we got the

Fucking great movie maker lights Out baby great video maker Great video maker GVM baby we got the lights out I just wish I could have the video Of you and that gas station buying those Tweezes dude and the cigarettes Oh yeah

We're going to ask for the security footage. I took a knee and I was just loading them under my arm. You're like, can I get a bag of pre-purchase, pre-checkout, because I can't carry all this shit. I promise I'm not going to steal. I walked up and she had to

count each one by tapping them on the top. She brought over three bags and I was like, please, the top. She brought over three bags, and I was like, please, no. Come on. Just two bags, please. Bro, you should have seen AJ and I. Well, this has already been kind of talked about.

AJ and I in Atlanta trying to buy all those fucking tweezers, and we had to walk out with 12 of them. Dude, like... I grabbed a basket. Oh, yeah. We literally walked around the gas station with a basket. I've never seen something like that before in my life. The whole basket had tweez and claws in it.

It was terrible. It was awesome. It was honestly disgusting. So, yeah, doing a reflection on the weekend. I came down Friday, left Sunday. Y'all went to a concert after I left. Yeah. Rate the weekend out of 10.

Out of 10? That's tough. Out of 10, I would say it couldn't be anything lower than a 7, but definitely not higher than an 8.5. I'm going to land it at an 8.5. Had a great time, but some of it was painfully miserable. Okay. 8.5, peak and valley real quick.

Peak and valley. Valley, lack of sleep and lack of food i just i couldn't eat my tummy was upset peak uh i've never i've never heard peak and valley before is that just like rose and thorn or yeah same thing oh fuck we did rose and thorn last time. Fuck. All right, what's your Rose? My Rose. Mine? Yeah. My Rose, I'm panicking right now. I feel like I had good ones before, but I can't remember.

You didn't have one. Well, one of the, no, I did. Do it in the pod. The podcast was really fun, but I would say my Rose, I feel like this is somebody else's answer too, but we'd had this little session in the backyard one of the days where we just sat around and we're like, all right, everybody is going to take turns giving everybody a compliment. So we just sat around for an hour just saying very nice things to everyone.

And it was just like one of like the most wholesome, like I was like tearing up at different times. It was, it was fucking awesome. It was unbelievable. I did not expect that. Oh no. It was beautiful. I think everyone teared up. now we're you would think we were on mushrooms or so we got weird everybody went hard like everybody like told like some real ass shit about each

other well who started off was it beth aj aj yeah no aj was being kind of snappy at people so i was like all right compliment circle yeah i'm gonna tell you right now anyone who's watching next time you're with you and like more than like probably like or do it with one person but do it with like a group of people that you're really close with and just have a couple drinks and just literally do a compliment circle you have to compliment everyone in the circle and then the next person goes same thing all the way around and you guys will fucking love it dude yeah because you know like usually when you're hanging out with your especially if it's like just hanging out with your friends and your bros or like whatever it is like people just like to

constantly talk shit like not really put people down but like make jokes at other people's expenses just for like a laugh so like when you get like that true like moment to like everybody say something nice about each other like some real some real sweet shit comes out it was cute it was very cute it was wild all right aj ranking of the rating of the weekend i loved it dude i mean i'm at the age now it was also it was my birthday in atlanta and um i'm at the age now big 29 that um i go i go to bed at responsible times like i know when to stop drinking essentially uh so i got enough sleep the food in atlanta was over the top never had a bad dish at all in Atlanta. I definitely recommend Atlanta food. Freaking just the stuff we did.

The concert was wild. I definitely felt extremely old at the concert. But overall, I had a good time in Atlanta. It was great for somewhere that we could just like drive to. What's your rating? Rating would be. It would be a nine. But since you also made the trip to Atlanta.

Like on your own mission. It's a ten bro. Like ten. Oh after Walker got there. The vibes just turned up. Because it was already good. And then like another one of our good ass friends came. Like after like we had already been there for,

what, two days? Yeah. We had already spent two days in Atlanta, had a blast, and then all of a sudden someone else comes up. We had even more fun. Yeah. It's wild. Yep.

You thugged it out on that trip. You said you're Rose and Thorne? Yeah. Kenzie, what's your rating? I didn't say my Thorne, but yeah, go ahead. Facts, you didn't say your Thorne. My Thorne was babysitting fucking numbnuts here me yeah sometimes i wasn't that bad come on no i went to bed but i feel bad dude i know i got kind of drunk saturday but like you know

why are you talking about him like why are you talking about my friend i'm talking about you when did you have to babysit me i You were sleeping because you couldn't hang. Don't try to talk shit about me while you were in bed. Yeah. But like worrying about your safety. You're not worrying about shit, buddy. You were racked out. I was sleeping about it.

He was dreaming about it. Tell him what happened. Tell him what happened. We already talked about this. No, someone had to come get me and say yo awesome all right we're not we're not making this all about atlanta again what's your rating i got woken up out of bed for that shit i honestly give it a 10 my rose was the day that we day drunk day drink day drink you boring and we it was nice out we sat outside and played cards and just hung out, and it was just nice out.

That was a vibe. And my thorn was one margarita I had that was really strong. Fucked you up. That shit hurt. Walker, what you got? I would give it a solid 8.5. My thorn was just, I caused a little physical destruction over the weekend. I picked Marco up by his legs, and he ended up falling like two feet straight on his wallet,

like the Charlie horse of the century. Yeah, he slammed. And then I forklifted aj and i really thought it was funny and uh i so i i went to like put him down and he had like put his like leg on the chair to like obviously take pressure off him but then i just kept him up and then i put him down and he turned around and he was like bro i want to fucking fight you right now i was like oh fuck i thought shit he's serious no that's me being responsible i don't fight bro responsible responsible for what your future children no you were worried about no that's a thing bro dude you

would have been fully justified just blast but that's not a thing you just don't do that and people do do that. What? Hit people? I'm saying for like. You should have slapped me like Chris. No, dude. You should have grabbed him by both nipples and been like, bitch, if you ever do that again, that would have been funny as fuck.

That shit would have made me laugh. No, I want to fucking put some fucking jumper cables and shit on your nipples and fucking electrocute your ass. Jesus. Fair. Yeah. Fair, yeah. You're sick in the head. I messed with one of the most. You want to fucking torture him?

You know what? That's fair. That's understandable. AJ, I'm sorry I put you through that. Just the clamps from the jumper cables would be enough. Oh, dude, those puppies. Those puppies. You would lose nips.

100% lose nips. They'd be cut off. We wouldn't even turn it on or nothing. Just clamp you up. Yeah, you'd be done. You're done. That's how bad I was irritated. But I was only irritated for like three seconds, honestly.

Not even three seconds. It might have even been less than that. It was like 15 minutes. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. I was not that irritated for that long. AJ, I've spent my entire life hyper aware of other people's emotions towards me. It was a solid 15 minutes.

I was fucking irritated. I'm like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Like, put me down, bro. Like, what are you doing? AJ was just embarrassed because he was a grown-ass man in a room full of other grown-ass men. And he was feeling childlike was his feet were dangling from walker's arm anytime your feet are dangling a couple inches or like one foot off the ground and you can like you have the ability to get down but you can't you're just dangling

that is a vulnerable i took your power state i'm sorry for that. Yeah, you took all... What is it called? You emasculated him. You took everything away from me. You stripped it from me. You stripped away my fucking childhood. Your manhood? Or yeah, my manhood.

You stripped away his childhood, buddy. It sounds like fucking... That sounds bad. AJ. You fucking hurt me, buddy. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I think you did, man. You literally bought fucking seven tweets in a pack of ports.

I'm home free? I think you're home free. You're good. I mean, you could have just wrote me a nice letter and it would have been better. Oh, that's coming too. Don't worry. It's in the mail. If I get a postcard in the mail.

It takes two months to get out to Benson. It's called BFE. You just pissed AJ off. BFE. You just dropped the look. Boom, fuck, nowhere. You just fucking pissed me off. You just dropped the look.

I think my rose was walking. Well, I walked in by myself, and then I came in, and everyone was really excited to see me when they came in. Oh, yeah. Walker was laid out on the couch like, let's get it. I just saw the look in his eye. He was like, let's fucking go. Yeah, that was a bad day for me.

I went to sleep at 1, woke up at 7, went to work, went to work until 1, then drove the six hours to Atlanta by myself under, like, just... Dress. What's the fucking... What's the word? Torrents of rain, you know? Oh, that's tough. It was raining?

That's tough. Oh, bad, dude. Like, you have to really want it so i one of my pet peeves is when people put like the uh their hazards on when it's raining only north carolina i put my hazards on bro it was you couldn't see more than like 10 feet i was going 25 miles an hour on the highway and at one point i just got behind a truck and i was like that's the only lights i can see like i that's gonna keep me in the lines it was wild be like that it'd be like that it do be i i don't i but you know i just for safety i had to pull up for the boys because you know it was yeah walker put on jay's

like 33rd birthday and austin's 25th and you know 25 is, that's a big time. Yeah, shitty fucking time. It's a big time to fucking fall on your face. I'm 25 years old. 29th birthday. Nothing's changed since I was, like, 19. Yeah, shit's looking real good. Dude, you look amazing, actually. Thank you.

The hair's growing out. The beard's coming in full. I'm trying to grow up. I turned 25, decided it's time to grow up. You almost have a bigger beard than your little brother. That's just not true. He's shitting on you. He's got a mean beard.

He'll forever have a bigger beard than me. Hey, quick question. He's been more of a man forever. Quick question for you guys. This is rapid fire. Okay. Thank God. Fired off.

What article of clothing do you guys base your outfits off of is it like you based off like your hat or like what shoes you're wearing for the day is there any do you guys put any thought into that yeah i base it off of my uh my lower my lower half your lower half so like what jeans or shorts or like and then I'd pick a shirt and everything else based on that. Interesting. How about you, Walker? I think I'm kind of a caveman when it comes to that. Like jeans or shorts, I have like a selection of good t-shirts that I wear.

And I'll filter through those. Sometimes when I'm a piece of shit, if I wear like bad t-shirts like four or five days in a row, it's like, oh, Walker's really down on himself. Because I'm like, I don't deserve the good t-shirts then. You five days in a row it's like oh walker's really down on himself because i'm like i don't deserve the good t-shirts then you know what i'm saying but when i'm actually like dressing up i don't know i feel like i just i i go off the shirt i'll pick like a dress shirt out first and then pick the stuff based off that i just feel like it's easier to pick the the pants what about you see with me it's my hat that makes sense it's all it's all but i mean it's like my it's my upper half definitely well like i feel like your life kind of revolves around like your headwear

my headwear and my shoes like it that's the thing me and kenzie that's the thing me and kenzie are you both ladies and gentlemen as you very many will tell from the title and description of this video this is episode 10 of the Always Loud podcast thanks for coming along this ride so far and you're about to get rewarded oh yeah oh yeah

Austin you want to tell the folks what they want yeah ladies and gentlemen you won an all day exclusive adventure with AJ's bald head take that hat off buddy boy peel that beanie off baby won an all-day exclusive adventure with AJ's bald head. Take that head off, buddy boy. Peel that beanie off, baby. How do I do the reveal?

Do I just rip it off, or do I slowly take it off? Kenzie, will you rip off AJ's beanie? Oh, shit. That would be hilarious. Kenzie peels it off. Kenzie, come on. Let's go. Kenzie's going to peel the BD off. Does she peel it off from the forehead?

I think the forehead. Lift it up. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Peel it. Peel it. Yeah, set the Bev down. Peel it off his head.

I'm literally scared. Oh, damn. Look at that shine, dude. He's out here. Oh, these fuckers are going to grip like glue on my head. Did you come fresh shaved? You got the Velcro? No, I don't.

I probably have a five o'clock shadow because I shaved this morning. Velcro doesn't come to like a day later, right? Eight hours. Eight hours? No, no, no, no, no. Twelve hours. AJ came to me after he shaved like a couple weeks ago, he was like bro try to pull my hoodie down i couldn't no it was pull my hat off pull my head off oh that yeah yeah dude that's straight up like your your hair has like a solid

10 pounds of like force yeah he has 10 pound velcro on his head. That's anyone Velcroed out dude. It's fire. I love that when Kevin Garnett used to wear his hoodie like halfway down the back of his head. People on Twitter were clowning him like do you glue your hoodie on? He's like it's the Velcro. I got the Velcro. It's literally like back here.

There's no like it's on the back side of his head. Yeah. Alsoer with episode 10 we have another little uh little something something that comes with episode 10 we might as well just get this out of the way austin lay the groundwork yeah so the groundwork basically is that um when aj signed on with us he uh he a 10-day contract, and in podcast terms, 10-episode contract. So contract time has come once again. It's time for AJ to either receive his next new contract or not.

We'll just see what... But yeah, so Walker and I have written up this contract for AJ, and we're going to see how he feels about it. I'm not going to read the whole thing because I don't want to expose any personal information. I'll give this to you and let you and your lawyers pour over it, but I'm going to read some highlights. This is an independent contractor agreement. The independent contractor agreement is made and entered by the unsigned parties always laugh llc known as the company and alexander james allen known as the contractor

in consideration consideration of the promises rights and obligations set forth below the parties hereby agree as follows so first we want to get into the term, you know? So we first started off with a 10-podcast contract. That was contract number one. We liked how that felt, but we just want to take that down a little bit. So the term of this agreement will begin on podcast 11, and it will continue until podcast 18. That's a.k.a. you're on a seven-podcast contract now. We're on a seven uh podcast contract now seven podcast

contract all right we like what we've seen so far but you've dropped it there's all that 10 to a seven yeah buddy the all the you're treating me like mac mcclung right now am i in the league or am i not the controversial shit like there's just been a couple of questionable things that have happened dude right i've received calls from the nurse union and you're right. You're you're slipping. You're right. Yeah, you're slipping all right Unless terminated as earlier and less terminated earlier set forth in the agreement. We'll get to that later So the services you'll provide as a podcast co-host you'll be responsible for sharing your unique insights knowledge and experience On various topics related to the podcast theme. Okay?

Yes. So you have to collaborate with the host to determine the theme and topic. You have to prepare for the interview by conducting research. Okay? And organizing your thoughts and key points. Now, you started with the notes earlier, but you've really tailed off the past couple weeks. And that's just something that we, like the board of directors, which is me and Austin, is something that we've noticed here at LLC. I always laugh at LLC.

I have notes today, by the way. Perfect. It's good. Perfect. You came prepared. Starting off on a good note. Okay. Now let's get into your compensation.

I'm literally about to start crying. Go ahead. Let's get into your compensation, okay? Is that a good tear or a bad tear? Oh, good. I feel like I'm getting promoted. He lost. He's signing a smaller contract and he's getting promoted.

Let's get into your compensation. Subject to providing the services outlined above, the contractor will be paid the sum of... Will you let him read that number right there? Yeah, we don't want to put his financials out there. Point to it again. Oh, yeah, yeah. Point to that big number again.

All right, so under compensation right here, you can read that. You can read it out loud. You can read it out loud if you would like. It's up to you. Under compensation. Yeah. Subject to providing the services as outlined above,

the contractor will be paid a sum of $0 per month upon completion of the services. All right. Thank you. I'll take that back. I'll take that back. I'm no longer crying. No, I'm mad.

So that gets into a... This is a mixture of emotions, guys guys so let's get into the relationship that you'll fulfill yeah we would like to remind you that as the as an employee of this company you are expected to adhere to our code of contact and maintain a professional respectful demeanor at all times mostly what that means is that twisted tea better be finished at the end of podcast yeah okay no bullshit um now uh i'm gonna skip the confidentiality and intellectual property okay actually no i want to read this part the host hereby agrees that the co-host in this case this agreement and for one year following the termination hereof, the host will not recruit, attempt to recruit, directly or indirectly solicit,

attempt to solicit, canvas, or interfere with any listener or sponsor of the podcast in a manner that conflicts with an interest with the business of the podcast as conducted with such listener or sponsor. Okay? Now let's get into some termination clauses here. All right. It has come to our attention that during our previous interactions, you have exhibited a tendency to

interrupt, thereby hindering productive communication. We would like to remind you that interruptions can impede the flow of information and potentially create misunderstandings. We kindly request that you refrain from interrupting during future conversations or meetings. It is essential to maintain an environment that encourages mutual respect and effective communication. Please be aware that failure to comply with this request may result in immediate termination. We would like to remind you that as a professional in our organization, it is important to ensure clarity and understanding in all forms of communication.

In light of recent events, we would like to address the use of rhetorical questions in your conversations. Please refrain from asking rhetorical questions in your interactions with colleagues and clients as they can often lead to confusion and misinterpretation. We encourage you to use clear and direct language to convey your thoughts and ideas. Shut up. This agreement shall be governed and constructed in accordance with North Carolina law. If any provision in this agreement is declared illegal or unenforceable, the provision will become void, leaving the remainder of this agreement in full force and effect.

And here I have a company representative signature for the head of our board of directors, a company witness for me, and then the contractor's signature as well. So we'll sit down later on. We'll let you take that home with you. Look it over, you know. Look it over.

Really think about it. See if you agree with the terms. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate the time. Absolutely. And thank you for everything you provided to this endeavor so far. We look forward to a long and health, long and fruitful business arrangement.

Thanks for taking the time out of your guys' day to put that together for me. I definitely appreciate that. Absolutely. Thank you. Absolutely, man. Appreciate that. You guys are just fucking dicks. What do you mean?

You're a fucking dick. Which part did you like? That wasn't in the contract. Which part didn't you like? Yeah. What part of the contract was bad? Okay. Okay. Okay.

Where do I start? You don't even know what it says. Hold on. If I can remember what the last page, there's something on the last page that pissed me off. Oh, there's something in there that would 100% piss me off. I can see it from here, actually. It's around this area area oh the compensation well i didn't expect much from you broke ass oh that's fair hold on hold on where is that where is that i'm literally

crying bad crying mike Bad crying? No, happy crying. Mike. Happy crying. All right, skip this shit. Hold on. You motherfuckers said I got to put in a 90-day, what does this say, calendar notice of... Yeah, your intention to leave the podcast. 90 days?

Yeah, bud. Damn. I'm locking you in. We have to get at least 12 episodes out of you well there ain't no there ain't no fine to break you so i see that yeah so so pour over it with your lawyers and i will your high your high power legal team over there and uh get back to us was that written by chat gbt literally i knew i know ai made that oh absolutely there's no way you had enough time to type all that up i found in a a contract template and then just inputted some prompts i was like

you ain't slick buddy i was like um tell somebody to to not ask rhetorical questions in a contract language way. I texted Walker today. I was like, we need a contract. It's pod 10. His 10-day contract is up. We got to handle it. I was like, bet. Drop everything.

Walker was at work. Let me focus on the contract for like 30 minutes. He's at work. He's clocked in. It was 9 to 5, and he said, fuck all this shit. We got more important shit to deal with. Oh, let's hear some notes, bud. I got more notes.

Oh, what you got? What's your note? What's your note? What's your note? Question number two that I've came prepared with. Do you unpack your luggage and or stuff you travel with when you go on trips immediately when you get home, or do you wait like a week? It depends. Like do you walk in the door and immediately start unpacking, putting shit away,

or do you just let it sit there until you are down and don't have enough clothes to wear? I mean, it depends on the scenario, but I would say typically I wait until I don't have anything else to wear, and I'm like, time to do laundry from all the dirty ass shit that's been sitting in my suitcase you know there's i'd love to address the concept of you know the man you think you are versus the person you actually are like let's be real here i would love to say i just got home my room was was clean. I unpacked my shit. Did my laundry and good to go. Instead of, you know, I came home, my room is filthy,

and my unpacked bag is still sitting. Oh, shit. Oh, God. I think it took me four. How do you still have clothes? Well, I was there for two days, so I brought, like, one pair of shorts and, like, three shirts. Yeah. Yeah, it took me probably four days so i bought i brought like one pair of shorts and like three shirts yeah yeah it took me probably four days after our trip to like get fully unpacked

i had to unpack my shit though because the hoodie that i was wearing when i took that old spill was covered in blood sticks dirt like it was bad i was like i probably should handle that yeah yeah it was tough stuff i'm kind of similar to walker in my head i'm like bro just unpack it it's legit gonna take three minutes tops to unpack your suitcase unpack it nah too much nah it is can't do it it's literally too much it's amazing how many things in my life could be done within like 45 seconds to like three minutes and i'll just avoid them for months freshman year of college walker and i have lived together for many years how old are we now we're like 25 uh we've been out of college for like two years ish i think um so we lived together freshman year

college and there was what another biscuit going i know what he's doing i know what's going on here um but freshman year of college we lived together and walker comes to me or comes to the um our we had four people living in the same uh little dorm area room thing suite um and he's like boys i want to instill is this is it instill or install this rule? It's literally both. If it takes less than two minutes, then just do it. Because we got into this bad habit of just throwing the empty toilet paper roll on the ground or just not even switching out the toilet paper, just dumb shit like that.

So, Walker, you got to get back on that grind. I need that mindset back. If it takes under two minutes, handle it. I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. And it's insane how much stuff you can handle in under two minutes. Like you can unpack your entire suitcase in under two minutes. Oh, yeah.

Guaranteed. Sorry, that wasn't me calling you out. I feel like I need the same advice given. I need to be called out. I need the same advice given to me. Just handle your shit. Two- clean up. Just fucking tear into me for a little bit, please.

I need to feel something. Hurt his feelings. Well, make him have feelings. I'll tell you a good thing. I walked by your room earlier and just casually just like looked in it as I was walking by. It's pretty clean in there, bud. For you living by yourself and having no real person to

impress anyone on the day. You don't have a Kenzie that cleans up your shit for you. Is that what you're trying to say? No, no, no. You don't have someone living with you every day that you have to do your part. It's yourself. You have to care about yourself. You clearly look like you're caring about yourself well yeah i have

somebody in my life i have to impress now and that's fucking awesome but i'm just like saying like that's your room you don't share that room with someone uh can i bring something completely unrelated up and i've i've had this in my notes you know big note guy over here too in my podcast notes for a couple weeks a couple weeks ago i'm not super proud of this it makes me feel a little bit dirty um we had a fucking ice walker and i were in the kitchen and he's standing there and i saw something scamper across the floor. And I'm like, what? I was like, what the fuck was that? I was like, Walker, come here. Like, I didn't want him to freak out.

It was a mouse that had run across the floor in the kitchen and into the corner. And we had no idea where it went. We were just like, fuck it, whatever. There's nothing we can do about it. We can't find it. Two days later, I walk into the house. And it smells like fucking death like i will mostly in the kitchen and i eventually i figure out what's going on there's a um bag of potatoes in like the

corner cabinet of our kitchen and uh there was a foul fucking liquid just in the bottom corner of this bag of potatoes and all around this bag of potatoes were just like bite marks you could just see like something was biting i think a mouse got inside the bag of potatoes and like a potato avalanche just like completely murked this mouse you want to hear something worse that was about three weeks ago you still haven't fallen the mouse no i think no no it the smell's good i threw i threw the bag of potatoes out because i think it was in there dead we we have walker and i have missed a trash day for the last two weeks we just missed it again today um every time i walk past the trash can outside

dead animal smell i know for a fact that dead animal is just chilling in our trash can right now. I just want to laugh at the fact that... Can I laugh at a few points in your story? Yeah. The fact that you said you thought you saw something scamper through the kitchen, you either did or you didn't.

Okay, I 100% did. You're fucking tripping balls if you think you saw something scamper through the kitchen. Right over Walker's feet, basically. Dude, we have a whole ecosystem. I know. This house is over 100 years old.

I know. When I wake up around 6 or 7, you'll hear the squirrel scampering through the walls. It's unbelievable, dude. I swear to God. What? You guys have a wide open window to your basement.

Oh, yeah. The only thing stopping them from being. Well, you know. There could be a homeless person. Homeless people need a place to sleep too. If they want to sleep in a disgusting unfinished basement, that's on them. Yeah, we got a bed

and breakfast down there. Dude, is there like... We don't discriminate. Can you make sure there's like a padlock on that door or something? Dude, like... No.

What are you worried about? Just like a rogue, like an animal Imagine somebody just walks, like they kick the door and they walk in right now like, what's up? Yeah, your front door

don't fucking shut. Alright. What's wrong with that? Are we just... Is this just shitting on our house hour no this house is fire no listen if somebody broke into the house you know what i'd do what would you ask him how they do i'd look at him and i'd be like hey what's up and if he like gave me a hard time i'd walk over to my desk and i'd you know take out my black belt and I'd tie it around my waist. And then I'd turn around and the guy would literally faint.

And if he didn't, I'd use a little taekwondo on him, you know. Are you a big jiu-jitsu guy? Nah. Taekwondo? Yeah, yeah. You know, I got my black belt when I was 13. So, obviously, I'm an expert on the subject. Sounds like it.

Really big, huge martial arts guy over here. Yeah. Huge. Big MMA guy. Do you like Conor McGregor? Not really. I know one of you can do his fucking language. His language?

Like the way he sounds. Walker, let's hear his language. Oh, you're talking about me huh Yeah You're talking about Conor fucking McGregor huh Yeah Fuck you buddy AJ

Don't be such a slag Walker's fucking Irish accent If you had a chance To change your fate Would ya Nah Me neither bro I don't I know where I'm headed You had a chance to change your feet, would you? That's all I got.

Me neither, bro. It's fire. I know where I'm headed, and I'm good with it. I don't personally see a book anywhere. What do we got? What are you talking about? Did y'all change it up? AJ. It's supposed to just be like a tempest that comes in.

It's none of your concern. Oh, now you're on top of it. Hey! Welcome back. Sorry. Welcome back to Walker's musing 30-second minute of... Minute 38 of the podcast. You know, I was driving the other day, and I really thought...

So I've got pretty good vision I don't have to wear glasses I think the closest I've had to get to like putting on glasses is when you let the rain build up on your windshield and then you hit the wipers after like you know 30 or 45 seconds

that clarity I imagine is what putting on glasses is like thank you Walker for your I don't know what the fuck glasses is like. Thank you, Walker, for your... I don't know what the fuck you said in the beginning of all that. You said musing 38, a minute and 30 second, 30 second. It was a lot. Maybe I'm tripping, but the beginning of that was rough. I don't remember.

I got some more heat for y'all. Thank Christ. Oh, thank God. Listen, hold on. My bad, Walker. I want to God. Listen, hold on. My bad, what? I want to know if in your guys' personal lives, back in the day, like when you guys were in middle school, right? Right. In your household, did you have a family computer, a desktop computer in the living room?

Okay, before uh answers the question yes we had a family computer and that is where i um first ever watched porn and my fucking mom found out about it she saw because like i i like all i did was like click like the little x on uh in the living room br Bro, are you different? I was trying to... Shut up. I did too. All right, yeah. That was where I first discovered porn.

Y'all were sitting your asses in the communal chair. Oh, 100%. I wasn't beating it. Full mask. I wasn't dirty fuckers. He's playing it so good. I wasn't beating it. Buddy, I was like fucking 10.

Oh, you were just looking? I was shooting blanks. Fuck, I was like fucking 10. Oh, you were just looking? I was shooting blanks. Fuck, at least you were shooting, bud. Fucking motherfuckers weren't even shooting back in the day. Dude, I was watching. Whatever. All right, fast forward. My mom found out.

I was trying to figure shit out. I was experimenting, you know? Boobs. Naked boobs. Pretty naked boobs. You know, I was experimenting, you know, boobs, naked boobs, pretty naked boobs. You know, I was, I was trying, I was trying. Did you have high speed internet? No, it was slow as fuck. But, um, my mom ended up finding out about it and I blamed the whole thing on my brother, the whole thing. Oh yeah. My brother's Zach, my, my younger brother was two years younger than me and he was a part of

it in some way because like i was like bro i just learned some shit and then he tapped in did exactly what i did basically and i was like yeah it was him wasn't me um yeah and my mom uh yeah we got grounded we had to do all kinds of shit it was as fuck how was she looked at your history or something oh yeah, no. So, you know how, like, back in the day,

I don't even, maybe now you can still do it. Like, you could just, like, hit the X on, like, what you had searched on Google. Like,

the little X, and it just makes it go away from that. But it doesn't actually take it out of the history. So, like, I'm sure my mom just went to, like, search something with,

like, a B or, like, whatever I was looking up, and, like, it just pops up, like,

hot naked boobies. I got busted. Dad reminds me of a story i my friend's dad has always hated me always hated me this is like one of my best friends in the world do you still hate him too no i i always wanted the respect of his dad and his dad fucking hated me my friend gave me the reason why a couple years ago. He was like, anything bad I would do, I would just blame on you. And the really bad one, like after this happened, there was like a noticeable shift in how his dad like acted towards me and treated me. He was like, I was looking up the scene from, I forget that movie where Megan Fox is you know she's like a vampire and she's like kissing a girl she's like nice call she grabbed

the mic so he looked up the Megan Fox kissing scene in Jennifer's body and his parents were you know pretty hardcore religious So his dad freaked out and he was like, well, Walker told me to look this up. I don't, I don't even know what it was, but a dick totally got out of it. And his dad to this day, I walked in their house like a couple months ago. His dad didn't get off the couch. He barely looked at me. Your friend was a narc. I was like, Hey, Mr.

He was like, Hey, went right back to what he was doing I was like oh my god What's up you fucking sicko You sick fuck How dare you look up You corrupted my son How dare you look up two girls kissing Can we bleep out that name

You still like this man Yeah we can You still like this man Yeah I mean he's you know Fuck you His name is bleeped out. Fuck you, Mr. Mm.

Mr. Mm. You're a dick. You're such an idiot. God damn it. But no, I think that back in the day, the desktop computer in the living room was a thing. Now it's no longer a thing, I feel like. Oh, yeah. Unless.

The fucker was slow as fuck. Unless you walk in someone's house and they haven't moved their shit around since like the early 2000s. You know the pinball game that was on like the original Windows computers? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I swear to God, my mom was one of the top 10 players in the world at that. That is fucking insane. My mom's

one of those people, she'll like just grind those games. I got her into the pinball and I would kick her ass. I was getting like 3 or or four million i would come home from school someday and check the leaderboards and she was number one that's fucking insane it was unbelievable she'd play like three hour pinball games that's fire do you want to hear some depressing like game shit that happened to me sure i had i think it was the nintendo 64 i was playing the game dig dug you ever played that yeah i've heard of it but look look though i had never like

beaten a game before like beat in a game like finished it and uh i was on dig dug i got to level 99 on Dig Dug, right? So, like, that 99th level obviously is extremely hard. It's 99. I'm thinking when I get to level 100, like, I'm going to get, like, balloons. Someone's going to knock on my door. Like, congrats, you've won a fucking level 100. Here's your plaque or some shit. Like, I'm thinking this shit about to go crazy. Why I beat level 99 and it went back to zero?

The bit counter ran out. That's fucked. Bro, if you could have seen, if I could have had a picture of my face, I'm like, fuck yeah. No credits, no special thing, just back to zero. I beat that bitch. It said, you thought zero thought zero no it was so that is very sad i literally almost fucking off myself well on that note things on the note of

things coming to an end uh ladies and gentlemen once again thank you so much for listening thanks for making all this uh making it all the way to this point in the podcast um you'll see what the contract situation turned out is yeah yeah on the podcast next week yeah i guess you'll find out um but yeah no thanks for listening uh make sure you listen to us on apple spotify subscribe to us on youtube check out our clips we're everywhere um yeah always laugh podcast baby my name is austin lane my name is aj i think i might sign it alan walker nothing we out love you guys