Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #14 - WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

This episode we talk about starting a new addiction, saggy balls, the giveaway winners, and what we do when we get mad. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj my name is walker the long-stepping legend lord of crosswalks king of greenways the deity of pedestrians everywhere smith that fired me the fuck up number one podcast you've never heard of let's get it. What is this number? 14, baby, with a bonus in there. Dude, we made it. Let's go. We made it to 14. Why does nobody ever choose those type of numbers? It's like, oh, we hit 10.

Woo-hoo. It was like, yeah, 15 would be something, but 14 is just like nothing. Yeah, we're at 14. Let's go. 14. Yeah, 14. We're at 14 podcast. 14 doesn't.

Numbers like 14 and like 7 and 4, they don't get enough love. Absolutely not. Really odd numbers in general, I feel like. I just named two out of the three numbers I just named were even, but close enough. All right. I'm not really firing on all cylinders today, dude. My contract's still being revised. I'll get that to you.

Buddy, we don't even want to hear about that shit anymore. Oh, are you talking about that thing from three weeks ago? It's still being revised. I have a very good lawyer. At least. That was probably like a fucking week, month and a half ago. You obviously don't have them on retainer if they're taking this long for that bad boy. No retainer. This is just straight out the muscle.

Straight out whose muscle? The muscle? Mine. So you're your own lawyer perfect please show us the contract gbt is my lawyer man oh god it's probably not a bad lawyer it's gonna be a chat gbt battle gpt gpt the fuck did i say i always say chat gbt just because it's easier to say but it's really chat gpt bet bet also didn't even know what that was also who cares though you know chat g gt yeah fuck jet jet bbt shut up fucking the latin ttb hell yeah why are we cheersing aj what the fuck cheers to to the Twisted Tea gods, baby.

All right. Thank you for that, AJ. You're the fucking man. You know what I've been thinking about a lot recently? Well, yeah. I've been thinking about it quite a bit recently. All right. Let's hear it.

I've been thinking about how I kind of want to start a new addiction. Here we go. And what's that? I don't know. Well, I have some ideas, and I want to run them by you, I think. All right, let's hear them. So I have, like, I have, I'd say my recent, my past addictions have been, like, you know, drinking, I guess. Not really an addiction, but, yeah, maybe you could say it's an addiction.

Yeah. You know, cool shit could say it's an addiction. Yeah. You know, cool shit like that. Yeah. But I was thinking like maybe getting like addicted to working out or addicted to like eating healthy. And then I was sitting here today laying on the couch and I was like. That shit sounds kind of like boring as fuck. And I was watching these videos on YouTube and I was like, I want a gambling addiction. I think a gambling addiction would be bad for my overall well-being, but not bad for my physical health.

It keeps, yeah, like it's bad for like your heart health, but every other part you can keep in check. Yeah. You'll lose everything. I don't see my heart. So like, fuck it. Maybe he's a sharp. Says everyone who gambles hey man I've been watching YouTube videos I might have what it takes

so today we're talking addiction dude I uh I started watching poker vlogs for like one or two months this guy Brad Owens and I thought I was like oh I got this shit down so i put like probably 50 bucks down on this online poker website and that shit was gone in

an hour and a half bro do you remember that time walker and i oh my god this shit was wild do you remember the time we were sitting down we were in charlotte when we still lived there for school we were sitting downstairs in the basement of our house. Walker was like doing work, working on a project or some shit. And I was on my laptop. Probably it might have been illegal gambling. I used the VPN just in case. Who cares? Whatever.

But I had to use the VPN to do it. Then, yes, it's fucking. All right. I was potentially breaking the law. You're a hacker. But I was playing blackjack and I'm sitting there and like i don't even remember what i started with like not that much maybe 100 bucks or something and walker's like walker's placing like side bets like with me trying to uh make a little money himself or whatever and i'm hitting like i'm hot i was like bet 20 for me yeah like i'm i'm hot at this point and um i'm up like 850 dollars it was fucking what did

you start at not much like maybe a hundred bucks that's what it was like 80 to 100 bucks and he was legit like i i can swear for it up over like it was like eight or nine hundred dollars yeah yeah at one point i saw a thousand dollars on my account, and I was like, oh, shit. But then I got, you know, as a bad gambler does, I got a little cocky and started betting like $100 per hand of blackjack. I blew the whole thing. I ended up putting in another $100. I was just losing money left and right. That's how it happens, dude. Like, they sucker you in, you know, the thrill of the win, and you're like, oh, I can get it back.

You know, this losing streak won't continue. there's no way it could continue forever yeah but that was that was one of the greatest moments of my life i was like i'm literally getting free money right now that kind of reminds me of something that my friend said on their podcast uh red cup boys they're like they're like you remember during the you know the the pandemic when everyone was getting all the free money like when money was just being gave to you like unemployment or like the free stimulus the free stimmies people were really out here acting like five thousand ten thousand dollars was not a lot of money they're like oh unemployment just gave me six grand for my back pay like i know it happened to me oh i'm fine four grand from unemployment yeah people act different when

the money's free real quick before we go any further i'll stop that shit before we go any further um we are announcing the giveaway winners at 20 minutes into this podcast. Fake out. Yeah, we'll announce them at 20 minutes in. So if you guys participated in the giveaway, you guys got to listen until we hit the 20-minute mark, and you guys will see if you won or not. Yeah, just wanted to throw that out there real quick.

Three winners. We'll have three winners, yep. Trace. Trace Hermanos. So what do we got, man? man Walker Thank you for making dinner tonight We kind of been doing this new thing Where it's like One of us will do dinner

Before the pod And today was Walker's day And he He had the whole house smelling Crazy It's amazing Olive oil Onions and garlic will do for you

Garlic is a bad motherfucker that that shit will have me every time kenzie cooks with garlic i'm like oh that smells good and she's like it's just garlic buddy every time i do it walker gets home from work today we're all sitting on the porch just waiting for him to arrive do the podcast eat whatever i'm like walker where you going he's, going to cook, bud. But, yeah, no, he chefed it up for real. He made some fire beef stroganoff. It was delicious.

So shout out to you, Walker. Thanks, dude. Beef stroganoff. I just want to say something real quick. Speaking of beef stroganoff, I love beef stroganoff. I haven't had it in a long time. Like, I don't know. Kenzie, have you ever made...

Excuse me. Sorry, I'm still getting over a cold. Have you ever made beef stroganoff? I just told my trauma with Hamburger Helper, so now I have it. Kenzie doesn't make beef stroganoff. She has PTSD from the Hamburger Helper back in the day. I ate it way too much in my childhood. Hamburger Helper hits. I don't give a damn.

Oh, Hamburger Helper it's like a guilty pleasure. Once or twice a year I'll get a package and just take it out. You throw a box together and you're smashing the whole thing. That's kind of like I know a lot of people are going to hate me for saying this

but that's kind of like me and Ramen Noodles. Ramen Noodles once every now and then just hit. Say it again? Let me guess. You call it ramen? Wait, no. How'd you say it?

Ramen. Okay. What did you think he said? I thought you said ramen. Ramen noodles. Oh, yeah. I thought I could just add that to the list. Ramen noodles.

Yeah. You know what? I don't really fuck with the ramen noodles, to be totally honest with you. You just have to learn how to freak them out. You have to add more than just what it comes with. Yeah, I mean, ramen noodles hit. See, I go in with Hamburger Helper knowing I'm going to have to add shit. Yeah.

Ramen, I don't want to have to add anything. It's like, you know, the seasoning packet should be. You got to look at ramen as less of a pasta dish and more of a like broth soup dish. A base. It's a base to like what you're going to put on top of it. The noodles themselves, they're not going to do shit for you. You're not going to get filled up eating a pack of ramen noodles.

That's for damn sure. You're going to be pissed off wanting more. What is it? Like a dude at a strip club. What more do they want at a strip club, AJ? You're going to be pissed off and wanting more because you're going to get fucking hung dry or some dumbass shit. You're going to get blue balled? Sure.

That's not a real thing. There is actually a technical term for blue balls. That's called lying. Look it up. It's called being a piece of shit. Kenzie, pull that up. Jamie, pull that up.

No, thank you. Come on, Kenzie. Look up the technical term for blue balls go to images go to images just for walker kenzie's getting demoted no she's not about to no no look up technique not on his work computer it's not his work computer it's fine oh blue ball why are there a bunch of picture of understanding hypertension yeah hypertension is not yeah oh and that's okay why did you just leave out the medical term right before that kenzie blue balls is slang for an uncomfortable testicular sensation that can occur during a state

of male sexual arousal the term is thought to have originated in the united states first appearing in 1918 yeah walker kenzie i need you to it's also called lovers nuts that's hilarious yeah walker so it's not a fake thing i was telling i was telling aj and kenzie today that i uh kenzie real quick before we go any further can you check the camera because when you pulled your mic like that, it shifted it. So can you make sure we're all good to go? I was telling Kenzie and AJ today that I was getting annoyed because I was editing. What?

No, I told her to, bud. Did you not hear what I just said? No, but that was a lot. Relax. This is going to be audio only. Fuck. We're all out of focus. It's fine. They love the the audio thank you for everyone for

listening to the i was editing the um clip of you guys talking about blue balls and it was making me mad because yeah because i don't know why there was just something about it that irritated me and i couldn't explain it i think the certainty certainty with which I speak sometimes. Yeah, it irritates me for sure. Which you do the same thing. Oh, I know I do. I know I do. Because when I have an opinion, I'm confident. Oh, yeah.

This is not an opinion. This is the truth. Oh, I'm going to make you believe it. Exactly. It's like, you know, we think on things for a long time. So when we reach a conclusion, it's like, this is what it is. Like, there's no other way. Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about, AJ? AJ. I got it. Are you okay over there? No, no. You two are- Are you a part of this pod or what? You two are funny because you guys know exactly how to get under each other's skin.

We don't do things to get under each other's skin. No, I'm saying, but y'all know what gives you- y'all know i'm sure warning signs that's what i'm saying everyone who has like someone who they live with probably can relate to that a significant other that's what you were about to say no just anyone roommate fits roommates if the shoe fits however you want to play if y'all walker and i. We just live together. That's fine. I'm totally fine. What are you trying to imply here? Nothing. That everyone who has a roommate or significant other or anyone who they're around all the time knows exactly what gets them.

Oh, yeah. I could easily piss Walker off in a heartbeat. Quick as hell. Like, so fucking easy. Yeah, you know my triggers. And it would be the slightest thing but i just i just say it don't you we're gonna start are you i won't say a word it's a touchy subject i know i just know what's the worst that happens you go to your room i just know there are

a few things that i could do that would set them off and they wouldn't even be big things but it's just like everybody has their little things that will set them the fuck off. Especially when they know the other person knows what it is and they do it anyway. I wouldn't go to my room, but I'd be a little bit more quiet for a few minutes. Walker has this thing where if he's mad or irritated, he'll just go silent for a long time. Oh, yeah. I'm a big no confrontation,

just don't talk to you for like three or four days until like days i was gonna say hours but bro there walker and i haven't had too many of those but there was one time that i really fucking pissed him off and i was i was a really big douchebag about something basically the moral the the gist of the story was he went to work and i texted him and i promised him something when he got i promised something was gonna happen when he got home or we were gonna how do i phrase this walker we were gonna do something when i got home from work and then i got home and he had it was like a big thing for me and he had like totally forgotten about it like it wasn't even that I forgot that was the that was the worst part it was something

that Walker was trying to do less of and and I said yeah we can do this when you get home and he I believed he believed me and he was like so so what's up? What the fuck's going on? I was like, oh, I was just testing you. And it was like, I was just a fucking dick. I know that was a shitty ass story because I didn't say anything about what was actually going on. That's probably for the best. Yeah. I really avoided you for like a solid two, three days after that.

And I had no idea what was going on because sometimes when Walker will get pissed off, it could be at somebody else and he still might not talk to me so i'm like maybe he's just you know on he's fucking i probably need to work on that he's fucking off about somebody else right now yeah bad mood walker i just like you know going to my little shell my little anger shell what do you do aj when you get mad i haven't really seen you i don't he throws fucking tuna fish sandwiches at the wall. I fucking, I just freak out, dude. Like, I don't necessarily freak out, but I get, I'm so tired of this fucking cold, dude.

I'm sorry. Yeah, you sound like a little bitch. Stop talking about it. I'm sorry, dude. But, like, when I get mad, I guess, like, I just, I don't really know what I do. Kenzie could probably tell you right now. He'll do some, like, weird shit, like, oh, my shirt's touching me the wrong way. And he'll act all irritated.

He gets, like, overstimulated very easily. Yeah, he's like, oh, my God, my lotion's not right. You're annoying me. No. Dude, if I don't like my outfit for the day type shit, like if my shirt ain't laying right or like I just like if I'm not feeling it, like feeling my outfit, dude, I don't know what it is. But like sometimes I just can't snap out of it. But like I fucking will like damn near like I would never do this, but I would seriously hurt myself type shit like over like stupid shit like that. Like, like, bro, like.

OK, but what about when you actually get mad about something? I don't. Bullshit. Fuck. It has to be something like... You got mad at me? For what? For forklifting you.

Oh, honestly, like, looking back... You handled it pretty well. I wasn't even mad for real. He was embarrassed. He's got a big bark. He was emasculated. I just wanted down. Like, put me down.

I just wanted down. Like, no, I don't know. You got to understand, like, that's good shit. I'm an only child, so, like, I'm just, like, I don't really get mad, bro. Like, I pride myself on being very, like, cool, calm, and, like, collective.

Like, I try to be just one on some chill shit. It's an important quality to have. You know what I'm saying? So, when I get mad or, like, rarely when I get mad, like, I just, like, back when I used to work at T-Mobile, I had this manager that literally used to fucking irritate my soul. And I just wouldn't speak. I wouldn't speak to her. I had this manager that literally used to fucking irritate my soul. And I just wouldn't speak.

I wouldn't speak to her. Like, I'd do a whole eight-hour shift and not speak one word in front of her. But I'd speak when she's gone. Like, obviously, I'm a cool guy. I'm going to talk my ass off. But when she's around, I was dead-ass silent. And she used to come up to me like, AJ, like, what's wrong with you?

You always seem so down. I'm like,'m like yeah bitch i'm down around you like and i and i always have this thing i'm like if you don't i always have this thing if you don't fuck with me or like if we don't get along if we don't vibe like that it's something wrong with you. Because, listen, I vibe with everybody. Couldn't be me. 100%. No, no. Any walk of life, any whatever you are, whatever you got going on, any type of person, I'm going to be friends with you for sure.

Because I can – I'm a very people person. So if I don't get along with someone, it's on the other person for sure. Walker's like I'm 1,000% serious. I think that's why he's laughing. But I think I get what AJ's saying. It's a big red flag. If you see me and someone else not clicking, there's something wrong with them, bro.

I can spot that shit out, bro. That is an amazing stance to take on relationships. I think it's just saying that. I'm cool with everybody. I try to pride myself on being cool with everybody. It's honestly proved itself true. It's proven. I have proven facts.

So you and I are pretty close friends. It might just be that you're being cool with me, but it's just fake. We're not actually friends. No, I'm not about to fake a relationship like why would i fake a relationship i'm cool everybody like like why would i force myself to be around someone i want or i don't like that's fair bitch i drive 30 minutes like multiple times a week to come see you oh you dude you do do that in 30 home the 30 homes home. The 30 home is the part that hurts. The 30 home is like the, bitch, I love your dumb ass. You're about to make me tear up.

I'm thugging it out on the highway, bitch. Let's fucking go. One eye open. Walker, you too, buddy. Thanks. I thought I was just including that, but I'm glad you added me at the end. You guys are technically one. Like, oh, we're going to Austin's, which also means we're going to Walker's.

Like, you guys are just, like, one. Even though we might not say each other's names, but you guys are one. We're going to Pace. We're going to. We're going to. We're going to downtown Raleigh. Damn. I wonder where we live.

Fuck it. AJ, let's do this fucking giveaway. What. I wonder where we live. Fuck it. AJ, let's do this fucking giveaway. What's the first prize, buddy? Is it $20? Oh, yeah. We're in there, buddy. We good? Yeah, we're good to go.

Listen, so this is going to be for the $20. Hold on. Give it a little intro or something. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, this is officially announcing the winners of the Always Laugh giveaway. Yeah, baby. The first prize. Walker, run that voice and run it.

Run it. $20 Amazon gift card. The first prize of the Always Laugh giveaway is a $20 Amazon gift card. Going to the lucky winner. Spin that wheel. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. The fucker's not spinning.

Spin it, Kenzie. Come on, Kenzie. Oh, shit. Failure to launch. Press somewhere else. No. Refresh the page. What the fuck?

You're going to lose all the days. Oh, no. Okay, spin it, spin it, spin it. Spin that bitch. Let's go. Who's it going to lose all the days. Oh, no. Okay, spin it. Spin it. Spin it. Spin that bitch. Let's go. Who's it going to be? $20 Amazon. What you going to buy?

Is it me? Oh! Oh! Oh! It's a new person. Anna Linda Castro, the lucky winner. Who the hell is Anna Linda Castro? She's a follower.

Let's go. Anna Linda Castro. Let's go. Shout Lynn, let's go. Shout out to Anna Lynn. Brian, you were so close. AJ, what's the next one? I'm very confused. What's the next thing?

Listen, I'm confused. Why are you confused? I thought it landed on it. No, it was barely Anna. It was barely Anna. Never mind. All right, so this next one is going to be for an Always Laugh merch t-shirt. We only have sizes small through extra large. The next prize. This next one is going to be for an Always Laugh merch T-shirt, right?

We only have sizes small through extra large. The next prize. If you win, you'll get sent one regardless whether it's the right size or not. An Always Laugh merch drop. Kenzie, spin that wheel. Ding, ding, ding. Let's go. I'm so nervous.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No. Bethany. Let's go. Shout out to Bethany. Marco, get faced.

Bethany's getting merch drop. Bethany Lucinski, you lucky motherfucker. We're dropping all these people's governments. It don't matter. Let's go. Last but not least. This is for the $20 Target Giphy. Okay, can we call out who we want to win real quick?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we see the names. I want everyone to win. I want everyone to win. Okay. Austin, who do you want? Well, unfortunately, that's not an option. So I would like – I'm going to put – Walker, let's make a side bet real quick just for fun.

Okay. I don't want any specific person to win, but I want to gamble on who I think could possibly win. I want a side bet, too. What color? Yeah, let's just do a color. Oh, you guys are dicks. What do you mean? I can't see that shit.

I'm color blind. He's color blind. Fuck. A couple of them look the same. All right, Walker, I got five bucks on yellow. Green. I was going to say blue. Hold on.

Wait, wait. Let's all just throw in five bucks, and whoever's color wins, wins. Just spin the wheel. This is for the, um. I'm not bad. To Mario Snellenberger. Let's go. No, that's Snelly.

Snelly's cool. All right, all right. Should I do it? What's your color? What's your color? Red? You got red. Green, because I know my boy.

I already said green, bitch. Walker already said green. I'm not a bitch. I'm sorry. Sorry. I want uh uh red let's just say fucking red my boy zach i want it's blue for call ready all right wheel 20 target gift card let's go Oh. Oh. And blue it is. Alfredo. Alfredo, my guy. Alfredo Petuto.

Dude, we got some fire names in there. Peduto. Peduto. We will message everyone and get shipping addresses and email addresses to email you gift cards and all that good stuff. Yeah, shout out to the winner. Shout out to the winners. Dude, that was honestly exciting.

Did somebody write down the winners dude that was did somebody write down the winners do we know yeah follow us it's screen recorded follow us on all social media so you can be featured in uh future giveaways that's far that's far that's a very good yeah we will definitely have future giveaways so uh yeah like kenzie said um follow all socials so you know the next steps to enter the next giveaway because there will definitely be some coming. Let's go. That was hype. Shout out to AJ.

That was AJ's idea. Shout out to you for the great giveaway idea. That was pretty lit. Appreciate that. Nice work, AJ. How did I know Alfredo was going to win? When I put his name in there, I'm like, that's fire. That's fire.

You were messing with the source code. Shout out to you, Alfredo. I inspected the code. You rigged it. No, I don't even know. Just getting it on the screen and shit was a lot for me. That was fun. That got me fired up.

Hey, I'm a big giveaway guy, you know? Was it messed up to take side bets on the giveaway? Yes. I think that's hilarious. No, that's... I don't think that's messed up. Completely illegal and all that. Yeah, if you're going gonna be a degenerate you gotta you know i already told you guys what my new what my new addiction was gonna be exactly guys we have some fire we have some fire guests coming

soon fire guests coming soon i'm super excited about that i can't wait to start having like guests more often yeah next episode you guys see will be uh a new guest i don't think we're gonna drop who it is yet but no we no we're just we're super excited we're gonna start getting them rolling you know where our following is just going up daily and right we're gonna start our goal is to drop a uh have a guest on the pod once a week or once a month my bad once a month yeah once a month we'll be fire one one every four episodes yep that's how many weeks are in a month yep yep heck yeah shit adds up hey man um so let's uh let's talk about something real quick okay okay um i think that i think it's pretty much like beautiful weather throughout the whole country like today and like this week essentially you

guys believe that i I've noticed that. People Snapchat stories and shit. Everyone's in a good-ass vibe, dude. Yeah, vibes have been great in the USA right now. Yeah, it's pretty nice outside. Today was a beauty front to, like, end. Well, I'll tell you, bud. I got to leave the house without a coat. It was nice.

Hell, yeah. Yeah. But, like, everyone on my socials are either from like michigan or like here and like everyone is just catching a vibe like catching a vibe dude even the mudbuggers just went through hell like what how many months of winter in michigan like like 10 months of winter two months y'all boys just did eight months winter to get four months of like 70 degree weather and then you're done. You're done. Why would you force yourself to live?

I don't know. You got to move. You know, some people don't have a choice, but if you could get out of there, you should get out of there. So, AJ, you run the always laughed snapchat right yeah that's right will you pull it up yeah oh my phone's dead i'm sorry okay never mind i think i can pull it up why is there a specific thing you want i sent a snapchat while i was in minnesota um to the always laugh because i actually don't have you on snapchat oh you you don't have the always laugh uh no i don't have aj so i sent it to always laugh oh do you think he already he probably already opened it right no it's still unopened it's forever aj anyway you guys you guys just

keep conversing while i was in i was in minnesota and i was basically said, I can't believe you used to live in this shithole. In Minnesota. He didn't live in Minnesota. I lived in Michigan, dude. Oh. Michigan. I take it back. Walker, come on.

Michigan is different. Walker, where am I from? Where was I born? Minnesota. Where was I born? Minnesota. Wrong. Were you born in Minnesota. Where was I born? Minnesota. Wrong. Were you born in Michigan and then moved to Minnesota?

And then moved back. I only lived in Minnesota for two years, and I wasn't born there or grew up there. Yeah, you couldn't stay in that shithole. No, fuck no. All I'm saying is when you get to be a young adult, if you have the opportunity to move out of your hometown, I 1 billion percent recommend it, man. Just putting yourself out there in an uncomfortable situation

or even like a comfortable – we had been to Raleigh multiple times before we moved here, like visiting and shit. We knew what we were getting into, but it was just the best thing I could ever do. I would never even think to be doing a podcast or anything even productive with my life if I was stuck in that fucking shit hole. I think your nut's hanging out. H-A-U-E-R.

What? He's got a nut hanging out. Put the nuts away. We both gained a friend, bud. I got the Hoochie Daddy joint song. Walker, I fuck with you. What? I was like, I don't feel shit.

I don't feel draft. He's had a couple flashes. Yeah, AJ's been swinging his nuts out today. No, listen. They're so large, they just can't help but pop out. Kenzie keeps moving the camera with her mic. I don't know why this isn't fixed yet or what, but why is this happening? AJ, relax. Kenzie, fix it. Stat. She's moving the camera with her mic. I don't know why this isn't fixed yet or what, but why is this happening?

AJ, relax. Kenzie, fix it. Stat. She's drunk. Holy shit. It's not my fault. Kenzie, check it again to make sure we're all looking good. Do we look good?

Do we look great? This is a shit show. Anyway, AJ's ball sack's been hanging out today. Seriously? Because I got bogged. Look, today. Yes. Listen, no, no, no.

This is going to elicit a trauma response from me oh listen no today was like probably like one of the hotter days we've had in the past couple weeks it got up to like 72 degrees it was like 78 buddy but listen it was in the 80s today i knew it was about to be hot because i worked all day about long story short i knew i was coming over here and it was still gonna be hot so i was I was like, oh, I'm throwing the boxers on, baby. Boxers with the hoochie daddy shorts above the knee. You know what I'm saying? I want to specify above the knee.

So look. So I'm like, all right. I usually, I'm a big brief guy. I'm brief all the way. So today I came boxers and my shit just dangling, right? So I didn't realize how fucking vulnerable you can be in short shorts and boxers, bro. Like you can just literally just your shit can just it's just there. Like if I sit down on the couch the wrong way and you look over like you might low key like.

Yeah, I can't say I have that problem. Especially at AJ's age when it's fucking hanging down to his fucking ankle bone. I'm still wondering when they're going to drop, man. One of the most traumatic things I've ever seen was I was a young boy, and we were down at the beach, and my grandfather, who has now passed. R.I.P. Rest in peace. Rest in peace to real one.

Papa, you were a real one. My granddad was wearing these little short khaki shorts, and I was helping him get out of the car. And I was maybe 10 to 12, and I reached out and grabbed his hand, and I pulled him out of the car. Before you finished, did he have leather seats or were they cloth? I think they were leather. That'll become apparent.

He peeled them. So, yeah, I pulled him off and he got about a foot off the seat and then I saw his nutsack peel off the chair and literally retract into his shorts and I was so fucking shocked.

Dude. It, I like. Walker, that's, I'm very, I'm very sorry you had to witness that.

That reminds me of like that, you know, you remember the old jackass movies when they did the bad grandpa or whatever, but you know,

the movie. Yeah. Yeah, where they got the, the, the, the, Dude, when he gets his nuts stuck in the bad grandpa or whatever but you know the movie yeah yeah where they got the the dude when he gets his nuts stuck in the vending machine or whatever that shit almost had me falling on my seat at the movie theater it's crazy i mean like what they say uh ears and balls that are like the things that don't stop growing ever son of a bitch Some bitches just keep going. Do balls not stop growing? I'm fucked. Oh, I'm fucked.

Not the nose. I got a beak on me too, buddy. Maybe it's not balls, but like, you know, some women in their, you know, 70s or 80s, they got, you know, swing low sweet chariots. They got some swangers. You know what I'm saying? I mean. I imagine it's very similar for guys.

Some guys are hanging down to like the. Yeah. I think gravity. Mid thigh to knee. Gravity's just taking its effect. Oh, dude. No one is out here mid-thigh to knee

on the nuts. You have not seen what I've seen. You ain't been in the YMCA locker room You never saw a ball sack stick to a leather seat and then retract back up into the shorts.

Dude, this bit has been done to fucking death. But like every time so every time I leave Fitness Connection, I go in and wash my hands. And there's just old dudes with their dicks out walking in and out of the steam room. And they're so happy about it. And they're some of the biggest dicks I've ever seen in my life. I was going to say that.

And smallest. Some of the smallest. I'm like, these dudes are way too comfortable walking around with their fucking acorns popping out through their bush. Really? God damn. I don't know where you're going, but that's usually what it's like. I've seen that at the country club locker room. Do the fitness connection?

These people are swaying. They're swaying at fitness connection. They're fucking rich. Jesus. Hell no. Okay, we're done with that. yeah let's move on but speaking of finis connection though i haven't gone like yeah buddy get on the fucking wagon kenzie kenzie walker myself we're in we're only fucking walking out bro you don't fuck with walker no working out

damn that's tough walker i fuck with you heavy but god damn why is working out. Damn. That's tough. Walker, I fuck with you heavy, but god damn why is working out such a job? Thank you. I have something to cry to myself to sleep about tonight. I want to talk about listen, we need to talk about something. When you become an adult, right? When you live on your own, when you're doing your own shit working out

is like it's its own job at itself. No one's forcing you to do it like you have to legitimately drive to the it ain't like in college where there's just a gym on your campus you hit the dining hall you can

walk there that's what I'm saying you can walk there you can get your fucking meal in after you can get your meal in before whatever you can go get your fucking meal in after. You can get your meal in before. Whatever. You can go get your fucking late night meal. Whatever. But now when you're an adult, you gotta drive to the gym.

Like, on your own. After your job. Come home and then like, boom. You still gotta do laundry. It must suck being an adult, buddy. You still gotta cook for your podcast host. It's a lot. Like, Walker, you haven't, like, stopped probably moving since, like, fucking 6 a.m., huh? Well, I mean, I started

at a fucking desk for most of it, so I did, like, a lot of not moving. I'm just trying to say, working out as an adult, you have to really, like, want to better yourself. Like, it ain't like you're about to... Well, that's the thing about colleges, dude. That's, like, one of the only places Americans experience as a walkable community.

You can go get food or the gym or social or to your home or class. You don't need a car when you live on campus. When I went to college for one semester, I feel you. AJ, why was it only one semester we never would talk about that because walker's thing is going up but i went i went for one semester and i was in the best shape of my life i failed all my classes but i tried really hard i really i really for effort

buddy i really did i didn't miss a single class i didn't drink a single beer the whole first semester and still got like a b as my highest grade and like three d's and a f it was bad we've all been there we've all had some i had a semester didn't stop me it didn't stop me either i had one semester that i failed every class but one and the one was like some bullshit class i failed failed them all. It set me back a whole semester. We can talk about my college experiences on the next pod. I'll call it out now.

You guys gotta let me talk for like a minute though. And I know that's hard for you. That's tough for me especially. You know when you really start going, the rage meter just starts building up. I know.

I can see it in Walker's face. His face starts getting a little bit more red. If you could see my ears, my ears would be peaking right now. My brain just starts moving a thousand miles a minute of trying to figure out what to interrupt him with. My brain turns to mush. I'm like, I got to save Walker's life right now. You're full vegetable when I'm talking. AJ, we love

having you over. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for having me. You're welcome, buddy. My voice is fucked. Yeah, your voice sounds like you fucking... What'd you say to me before the podcast started? AJ walks in, I'm like, bro, you sound like shit. He's like, yeah,

I sound like I sucked about a 100 dicks before I came over. Dude, my fucking throat is on bang, bro. My shit hurt him, bro. Dude, there's no way you'd be coughing if you had 100 dicks. My favorite thing about A.J. is his ability to come up with a new way to say adjectives. Like, he completely just makes up vocabulary, which is fucking sick. No, you guys want to hear something funny real quick? No.

I went to the bathroom in this random lady's house today, and I lifted up the toilet seat to go pee. Nice. Welcome back to Talking With Walk. I'm your host, Walker. I want to read this passage real quick. Abraham Lincoln and his friend Joshua Speed, a Springfield, Illinois shopkeeper, had a rare intimacy. The two shared Speed's bed for years in Springfield after Lincoln told Speed he couldn't afford a mattress.

Historians still debate the nature of this relationship. But when Speed moved back to with a family far in Kentucky and he said he did not want to surrender his right to own human property, Lincoln wrote him bluntly about his disappointment. My point with this is, Honest Abe was slamming some racist slave owner bussy and then got mad when he didn't convert. Is that not wild? Hold on, say that again. You don't have to bro bro honest a was clapping

cheeks he was clapping racist slave owner cheeks bud the wife dude he was a racist shared speed's bed for years after lincoln told speed he couldn't afford a mattress. Historians still debate the nature of this relationship. Wasn't Lincoln a slave owner? I think at one point. But he converted and he got mad that his little fuck buddy didn't convert too. They're all fucked. Nice. All of them were fucked.

I wanted to bring you guys out of ignorance. I appreciate you. Listen, I went peeing a random person's house today at work. I lifted the toilet seat up to go to the bathroom, and it said, nice cock on the fucking, written under the toilet seat. When I lifted it up, I was going to pee.

I looked up. I said, nice cock. I said, okay. Thank you. It was fire. It made me smile while peeing it was fire that's good there that's the thing i just i'm about to start doing what'd you say you were in a random person's house yeah why were you in a random person's house buddy i was i was working we were building the fence for it and we were leaving and i was like this is my opportunity to go to the bathroom because i'm tired of peeing behind trees were they home something not why I went out or no they were home when I went inside yeah but now like the behind the tree I had to wait for my moment did you tell them that you

like their toilet seat and give them like a little wink or something oh no she brought she's like you're gonna see my toilet seat like she had weird like toilet paper like memes around the house and shit like it was it was fucking she had she has a shit fetish for sure but no dude hold on can we talk about this fucking when a lot of these guys who do like the whole like home improvement like blue collar bullshit we're showing up to your to your home like off fucking coffee motherfuckers are drinking the big fucking red bulls on the way to the job like any energy drink you can think of and motherfuckers really don't even say nothing about going to the bathroom you show up to someone's house like all right have a nice day we're like um do we just like piss out here like where do we go like rarely do people say like oh yeah

they come inside the bathrooms like right here if you use it like it's just like we don't want the dirty well like if you guys were a legit company you would have a porta potty and all that shit but on a on a job that's like a one day or two day job you're not getting a porta potty bro maybe like on a month job or like a couple weeks you gotta drive to the gas station or just actually work if you got a number sweat it out no at some point you're you get tired of holding it you just gotta go you gotta go so you gotta find a rogue tree wow i done peed behind some rogue places be doing this shit where's the weirdest place you peed oh dude um off the top of my head oh dude let me make something up real quick to make this a good story i don't know i

really couldn't tell you i couldn't tell you but it's been some weird ass places bro dude i i spent a little time in the blue collar field and there were just two things I couldn't get down with. I couldn't take my shirt off on real job sites and I couldn't drink beer on real job sites. So I was like, fuck this. I'm out. I'm going to be independent. Yeah, I got to do my own shit. This isn't cutting it.

It's so funny. It's like I'm doing shit work. I can't even enjoy myself i can't look like white trash while i'm doing this work okay you big white trash guy jesus christ um so i'm white trash buddy yes that goes without saying as you spill your tweet if. If you saw my neck, you'd understand where the whole redneck thing comes from. My shit is beaming. Show your neck. Beaming.

Show your neck, please. How do I show my neck? Turn around. Turn the fuck around. You gotta turn around. To the camera, buddy. Don't put your head down. Turn around.

Look at this motherfucker. I see that hunchback. Sorry if I offended any blue collar workers. Fuck them. I didn't mean. You guys are all fucking dead near idiots besides Zach and Graham Mark. I didn't mean your white trash, but you get the vibes. I'm going.

And my boss. And my quarter. You are cool. AJ, you know, that distills a lot of humanity. It's like, fuck everyone, except for all the people I know. They're cool. Everyone else. Anybody else that does that thing, fuck them.

Exactly. Literally. I've been to Lowe's three times today. I don't want to hear shit about shit. Dude, that's awesome. Lowe's is one of the best times there is. Not at 6 in the morning? Oh, yeah.

It's honestly very peaceful that early in the morning. Exactly. Everyone looks at you as a contractor. You're him. I'm him. I'm him Jones walking through the motherfucking... Dude, I walk into Lowe's with a collared shirt because I wear a collared shirt every day. They treat me different.

The business rep finds you in lines like, do you have a Lowe's business account? And I'm like, you're damn right I do. I fucking my corporate escort bitch. I walk in there and I start snapping and I just got workers running over. It's pretty dope. That's honestly fire. Why are you snapping the mic he wanted to do it for a fact he doing that thing it was for effect there he go doing that thing again shut your bitch ass up guys thank you for listening to this freaking podcast once again if you're a if you're a real listener and you go

start to finish on all these podcasts i freaking freaking love you with all my heart, and I appreciate you. Do you guys have any closing statements? Any closing arguments? I just want to say shout-out to Zach. Shout-out to motherfucking Lexi. Shout-out to your motherfucking mama. Shout-out to motherfucking Andrea. Shout-out to my mom. Shout-out to Walker's mom. Shout-out to fucking her mom. Shout-out to your dad. Shout-out to your motherfucking mama. Shout out to motherfucking Andrea. Shout out to my mom.

Shout out to Walker's mom. Shout out to fucking her mom. Shout out to your dad. Shout out to your dad. Not my dad. Fuck your dad. Tell him I said fuck him. I beat his ass.

Anyway. Fuck you. Thank you guys for listening. I got something. Oh, sorry. Fuck you. What's his name again? Abraham Lincoln. Fuck slave owners. Oh, sorry. Fuck you. What's his name again? Abraham Lincoln

fucked slave owners. What's your dad? Thank you, Walker. It doesn't matter. We're not going to we're not going to let this podcast What?

hear his bitch ass name. Send him a clip. Thank you guys all for listening to the Always Laugh Podcast. My name's Austin Lane. My name is AJ. Walker.

I'm Walker. We out. Love you guys.