Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #15 - Insane College Stories with Special Guest!

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

This episode we have our second special guest and we talk about the crazy college stories we all shared together. We also talk about walker getting into a car accident and much more. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

Welcome back to the always laugh podcast. My name is Austin Lane. My name is AJ. My name is Walker stiffed up because of the guy next to me Smith. Oh, baby. Am I allowed to introduce myself? Go for it, buddy. My name is Drew. I am 510. I'm 25 years old. I have knee and neck problems. And I like to drink milk for dinner. He's all fucked up. That last one is tough. I don't know. This was a bad idea, Austin. I don't know about this. Buddy gave his whole Tinder profile.

Well, not only is this bad because not only did it take me until college to realize that drinking milk for dinner is like weird, but it's just like not common at all that was a large week so for a little backstory drew lived with me and austin for number one podcast you never heard of before yes that's my fault damn blame it on twisty drew lived with me and austin during college for about six or seven years. Yeah. Shout out to whatever. Until they start sending I shout now. Drew, that's been a major point of contention.

Has it? His milk drinking? Oh, I'm on Drew's side entirely. I love drinking. Milk drinking for dinner? That's fire. That's criminal. I got strong bones, man.

I haven't broken a bone yet. I feel like that's a very white family thing to do. Yeah. Literally. Alright, guys. Can I talk about something that happened to me today? For sure. Walker. Can we just relax for a second? Nice to meet you, Drew.

Hey, it's nice to meet you guys, too. Your name's Drew, right? My name is Drew. Cool. Drew. I went to school with these guys, high school, and then we lived in college throughout the entire five years. And yeah, these guys are my best buds. Y'all went to high school together? Yeah, we did. Played football together.

Holy shit. Yeah, we're the best of buds. Whoa. Yeah, we've had a fucking, we've had a run together, buddy. It's been a journey. It's been a hell of a damn run. I never thought in high a fucking – we've had a run together, buddy. It's been a journey. It's been a hell of a damn run. I never thought in high school – And we're still running.

I never thought throughout high school that we would be here today. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, the stars aligned and a beautiful thing came of it. I've got to get this off my chest. Walker's dying. It sure will, dude. We're just living in it. I leave work.

I'm on Wade. I'm coming home. Bring it on home, John B. I'm in traffic, but it's moving traffic. Nothing stopped yet. The car in front of me slams on their brakes. So I see

them. I'm going like 45. I slam on my brakes. I see the car behind me Kind of turn Not commit to it Turn right into me Slam on their brakes Slam right into the back of my car

They hit you? What? Yes You got rear-ended? I got rear-ended Today? Going like 25 miles an hour Bro, it fucking shook me But my airbags didn't go off today

today so we both stopped traffic started going on i started driving off the person drove off there was like an exit it's like the it's the part of wade right where it's like the big the shit show wade avenue. Yeah, it sucks ass. I swear to God, the person pulled up next to me and we just made eye contact. And it was like the scene between Vin Diesel and Paul Walker in Fast and the Furious. And we just looked at each other. And I was just like, I can't be fucked to stop in five o'clock traffic. You guys just kind of gave each other the nod like, I guess guess we're gonna keep it pushing today dude i saw their uh their front headlight got cracked my uh my girl helen though she got a little chunk taken out of her but it's not that bad helen helen yeah dude

that's crazy i understand why you've been dying to get that off your chest bursting you have had throughout so much relief throughout the last you the last five years, through college and everything, you've had the worst luck with cars. All your cars just get bumped or broken into. Literally all the time. You locked your keys in your car that one time. And he breaks into it. We were living in an apartment in

Uville in Charlotte and someone broke into your car, smashed your window and everything. The only thing they took was a hiker's book bag. That was really valuable too. They took my hiking backpack that was $300 and it had

my tent and all my shit in it. Why that? They must have been probably homeless. They were like oh this has the shit we need to survive. What kind of hippie is breaking in the cars now? The cops called me or I think the cops called me. Yeah the cops called me the next day or two days later

after I came back and they were like is this Walker Smith? And I was like yes. They were like we found your backpack. I was like, what? Seriously? That's crazy. And the guy or the person just did a little spree.

And it was like an apartment complex over in the... But they stole my tent out of my backpack. You're like, that's the only thing I freaking cared about. I guess it's the only thing he cared about too. Hey, Drew, we got to do this real quick. You're our second guest of all time on the podcast. It's quite the honor. It's a freaking honor for us.

It's a pleasure for us for you to be here. Whatever. We got you a little something to show our appreciation for you showing up. Thank you, Drew. We're giving you our flowers. This is beautiful. I'm not going to drink this flowers. This is beautiful.

I'm not going to drink this. What do you mean? But it's beautiful. We all have to have one. I'm going to hang it on my mantle. Why won't you drink it? Milwaukee's best. You know this.

Freshman year of college was your favorite, right? Well, it was the only thing I could afford. Freshman year of college. That's not true. So more, you know, back it up a little bit more i have violent throw-ups like if i throw up my face like i literally pop blood vessels in my face and yeah drew is not drew's body is uh not willing to show weakness so when he like has to throw up it won't let him don't do it um so yeah i drank like i think 10 of these in the span of two hours yeah and i you know went to bed and i don't really remember throwing up i felt like it was in a

dream where i was throwing up in the dream and i woke up not realizing that i threw up and like i i mean i thought i threw up but it was like you know like i said it was in a dream so i went in the bathroom and my face was just completely fucked up. Like all like my it was completely red. Like my eyes. It just looked like I got like a lobotomy or something. Yeah. Like all my I had bruises around my eyes.

I'm like, what? Drew woke up in the morning. I looked at him like, what the hell is wrong with your face? Like you have a rash really bad. I ran into the dining, the dining of uh the umc charlotte dude i remember that and i was looking up everything like every symptom that was wrong with me which you know is an awful idea when you're when you're doing that because it's just gonna tell you cancer and it said like yeah you're severely dehydrating like you need vitamin b and

whatnot so i was just like i was just eating a bunch of broccoli and cakes and stuff. I was drinking as much water as I could. I was like, I gotta do something. Then I later on... That was like hives that were across your entire face. It was literally just a ton of broken blood vessels in your face

because you throw up so aggressively. I don't get it. Drew, that's... This is a very special present though. I really appreciate the... face because you throw up so aggressively. Yeah, I don't get it. Drew, that's a... This is a very special present, though. I really appreciate the... This is your real gift. That was the one for fun.

This is the one that actually... You guys just do too much. We want to actually show our appreciation. That was kind of fucked up. You guys just do too much. That's like the worst beer on planet Earth. Well, I know I appreciate both of these. Wow, this is awesome.

Yeah, we got those right next door at the place next door to our home. Goddamn, 9%. Yeah, I tried to get all of the highest percentage alcohol possible. A double IPA. You know, I consider myself an IPA. There might be a triple IPA. There might be a triple IPA in there, too, so enjoy yourself. I've never heard of such a thing.

Crack the trip, bud. Oh, my gosh. I got to finish the tweet first. Dude, I got a funny story about the whole IPA thing. Austin got me something similar for some occasion. I don't know, it was my birthday. He got me something

similar to that, and I was like, one of them said India Pale Ale, and I was like, I'm gonna save that one for last, bro. I don't know what it is. I don't want no shit from India. No, no. I'm like, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is shit from india no no i'm like i'm like i don't know what

it is i don't know what it is but this one just looks like it just is different bro and they're like you know that's what ipa stands for right because i was like bragging on the other three i was like these are fire i'm like he's like this one says india pale ale i don't know if i trust this one like dude you know that's what IPA means, right? I was like, oh, shit. And it was fire. It was good, too. That was funny.

Yeah, they are good. So you used to be a big Milwaukee's best guy, apparently? Well, we had like a two. Can I bring up something? You could at least did Natty Light, bro. Drew is, bar none, the cheapest person i've ever met in my entire life i don't think that's necessarily okay i don't say bar none and our other friends up there too in college especially freshman year i didn't have a job so i just you know i i just got what i could

get and plus i didn't have i mean we weren't 21 either none of us were 21 none of us had the fakes so we just relied on other people and the first guy i think it was our you know jared's uh one of his co-workers that got us beer the first time and uh he got us you know two 12 packs of milwaukee's best ice and i didn't know what they were at the time and i tasted them like this is awful but it was like you know five bucks over a 12 pack so yeah back then back then we Back then, we used to drink the highest alcohol percentage and cheapest price possible. It was tough times. It was the recession.

Have you ever heard of a 30-rack of Natty Ice, bro? Dude, they don't have 30-packs here. I'm so pissed. They don't do 30-racks? You can't get a 30-rack when you're underage, dude. I mean, that's like your... We weren't choosing what was going on. We were probably getting ripped off.

Like, here's 20 bucks. They're bringing us back a $5 24 pack. Oh, absolutely. Oh, dude. I bet some of the liquor we bought was just atrocious. Tell them the story about the pricing difference between those two. Dude, I know some stories about some cheap liquor. Drew.

Drew. The 15 pack of Milwaukee's Best Ice was was about 7.99 dude you got it's recession proof the uh the price of the other you get 15 of those you get four of the other ones and the price is like 400 percent higher dude it's unbelievable how expensive those beers are oh it's crazy it's like literally a boutique beer store god damn what's that kenzie said they're so good thanks kenzie kenzie we can't hear you sorry we appreciate kenzie thank you kenzie chill out thank you um boys i got some funny shit that i want to uh mention real quick this guy drew's the type of guy that he's got 10k in the savings account and a hundred dollars in the checking and he's like

i i don't have any money i don't have any money man i've just lived by not touching my savings sorry listen it's commendable it also is annoying. It was for me at the time. Okay, yeah. I feel like I've laid off. I mean, I've been easing up a little bit. You've been swiping that. I mean, you're going to have to. Drew's moving out to California, and the rent out there is not cheap, bud.

I've just been dealing with that today, actually. If you don't mind me asking, how many bedrooms are you about to rent? Like one bedroom? It's a one bedroom. How much approximately is a one bedroom in outer? You're not even in the main city, right? So I'm moving to a place called Vista, California, which is about 40 minutes north of San Diego. What are we talking money-wise?

I have barely seen anything under $2,000. Single bedroom. For a one bedroom? Single bedroom. You're fucked. the place i was getting was around 24 50 and that's that's insane that's before parking that's before utilities which are all higher they are smoking that's insane it looked like a really nice apartment but they've been really like they just haven't gotten back to me at all and they like made me

sign a holding agreement and everything so it's it's mine for the taking, but they're just not getting back to me. So I'm just sketched out. So I'm probably not going to take it now. Do you think the demand is there? Yeah, I think so. I heard it's like from someone else who was working in my company that moved out there. They said, yeah, they had to check every single day because they were just gone. Did they make you do the whole 3X the rent like you got to make 3x yeah i had to make two

and a half times which which is also a little sketchy because they said i i could my income alone so i'm going to be moving in with my girlfriend but her income wasn't counting because she doesn't currently have a job lined up in california she's gonna be getting one when she moves in with me but they just said yeah appears you're making two and a half times he's like yeah you're making this much money and you know divide it by 12 and yeah it's two and a half times but it's like before all the taxes so it's like how does that even count you can just like you can just chat gpt an offer letter and you're straight well so fun fact about that uh i've been doing a like i've been in like a rotational program all like throughout the job you know every six months i'm kind of moving somewhere else uh and that rotational program's ending

this summer so they're shipping me off to california for like a full-time position but the job they gave me was like not enough money at all like i was really let down with the price that they were giving me and especially this is like the california prices it's just like not good so i literally uh like came in with some notes and chat gbt i'm inspired by walker for this because of uh that contract that he came up with that was beautiful i was like walker you need because of uh that contract that he came up with that was that was beautiful i was like walker you need to be in hr that shit got ripped up in his face chat gb jet fuck gbt needs to be in hr also walker you should scoot up close to me man yeah why are you why are you shying away

from your boy yeah you guys really you guys really messed up by keeping us together you want some blankie i might i'll take some blankie all right But anyway, so yeah, I chat GBT'd like my entire email and just like wrote in with some facts. Like, yeah, how much would California be? How much would this salary be after, you know, all the taxes, you know, federal, state, Medicare and Social Security and whatnot? And like I talked about like the list of like utility prices and whatnot and after I sent it my boss even like messaged me back and was just like wow this is a really good email like what did you do she's like I'm gonna continue I'm about my paper bitch dude shout out shout out to Drew Baldy there's uh just something different about this man he's built different hey thank you

me and you got something in common you want to know what it is he uh i'd like to hear it dude it's like so it's so like we're so fucking locked in you have no idea dude i'm sucking on your head before this podcast ends you're not touching me but listen please do that they used to call me baldy back in the day this and that oh you're a phony and that's you're a phony dude there's this i don't know he looks like the real deal hey he's a real deal now i'll give it to you i i i did my shit just for you bro there's this is your last name no i appreciate that man usually he wears a hat but he came raw for you there's this uh i forget his name but he's on like he's like he does like you know he's on like NFL Network or something.

But his last name is Baldinger, I think. Brian Baldinger? Yeah. And they call him Baldy. I'm like, dude, you're a phony, man. Fuck you. Get the fuck out of here. He's appropriating your punch.

My people did not fight for 50 years to have him steal it. But what I was saying was, shout out to Drew Baldy. He's always been one of the most motivated, dedicated, just locked in people I've ever met in my life. And Walker can attest to this. Drew Baldy's different. Yeah, he's built different. I'm glad you guys think so. You've been in Raleigh for the last week, give or take, something like that.

More or less. My whole entire demeanor has changed just with him being in my city like i've hit the gym i've been uh actually like being a productive member of society this morning this motherfucker convinced me to go to the gym with him at 6 a.m i had to crawl out of bed before five o'clock in the morning to meet him at the gym dude i saw you this morning and i was like i literally said is everything okay i, there's something wrong with you. Yeah, no, I was like, Drew's got me fucked up right now. You said you loved it.

You said you loved the drive over here. Oh, dude, I was catching a vibe in the car on the way to you. I was just blasting music. See, it's really manageable. It's only like, you know, I only do it two days a week. So it's like, you know, I wake up at 445, you know, take a cold shower. I did. blasting music. It's really manageable. It's only like, you know, I only do it two days a week. So it's like, you know, I wake up at 445. I take a cold shower. I did.

I did. I took all of your advice. I took a cold shower. You're nice, man. Yep. I feel like I'm watching one of them Facebook inspirational videos. I've been. You're good to do it too.

Me and my brother have been. What's that podcast you love? Or not that you love, but, you know, the one that, like, you know, the douchey one who, like, always tries to sell shit and be motivational. No idea what you're talking about. Drew sounds like that right now. Sure. I've been.

Me and my brother have been, like, going to the gym, like, all the time. And we've been really motivated by this book, it's called how to think like a roman emperor it's the way of the stoic you know oh boy drew you said you're you're good to um get up that early two days a week i'm good for it about once every two years so hit me up in a couple of years so i'll let you know they were telling me something interesting about you that you apparently have, like, do you have a twin brother or brothers? I do have a twin brother. And I have an older brother and I have an older brother.

Are y'all all twins? My mom is very happy. Is it all three or all two? Like, what's going on? That's not how twins work, buddy. So, twins are triplets. Twins means two. He and his twin look like his older brother, but his eldest brother doesn't really look like him.

So who's older out of the twin or who, whatever? I am older by six minutes. Six whole minutes. I longed for adventure. He's a big dog. Really? Longed for adventure. Yeah.

I saw the light. I saw the light and I was like, I want that shit. So you were like- I want to get up there. You were out here dangling and your other brother was like, you saw some fucked up shit. I was like, give me out of here. Drew, you saw some fucked up shit.

You watched your brother climb out of the abyss. Pussy. You saw some. That could never be me. That boy was soft. He did that? What the? Built different.

We'll treat our mother like that. You got to have the mic closer to your face, buddy. So you said a fist like that? You are here. I think I've seen your brother before. That's dramatic. Y'all look similar. I'm telling you what I can hear.

Oh, no. You didn't see my twin brother. But yeah, the night of the fight. God damn it. Yeah, it was us. Yeah, Drew was there. So you got your asshole too. No, I mean...

Drew was the only one that didn't get his ass beat. This is the fucked up thing about that fight. You still look pretty good. Your cheekbone ain't sagging like Austin's. Looking at you,

looking at Austin, looking at Drew's two brothers, maybe we'll post a picture if we do it right here. I would have bet my fucking life savings on y'all in a fight. And it just didn't work out like that. Dude, we must have

faced the national soccer team because they were coming. They brought their cleats and steel-toed boots. They were punting us everywhere. Y'all were fighting some fucking country boys. Oh, if I had to pick anybody to get into a fight on my side, it would be the Baldy Brothers.

It's the Baldy Boys. The thing is, and we've just been talking this into the ground so we can stop any time. I don't know how many of them they had. They probably had like four or five. More than us. One of them cheap-shotted my my brother so he's down for the count and then connor had the other guy like he had him in a chokehold and everything but then uh one of their guys came and you know kicked him and i don't know what i was doing i don't know i

don't know how it got to be two on one over there but i was taking down one other guy over there i don't know what you were doing you and i went to the ground at the exact same time okay and then as soon as we went to the ground you were with one of the dudes and another dude came and kicked me in the side of the face i gotta say it did feel pretty good when i like picked him up and just slammed him down and i heard the people from you got some i heard the people from teeth go you have some action like no this No, this is what happened. Drew slammed somebody, and I got kicked in the head at the same time. So who knows what they were really saying, ooh, too.

Yeah. I hope it was because of me. I hope so, too. Yeah, that was a weird night. It's so weird because I have friends that talk so much shit when we go out. And how am I the one that gets into a fight I like to think

I'm a pretty nice person when I go out it was your damn brothers they were fucking well to be fair it was them because they came in like super aggressive and then we were obviously just like not having it it wasn't your brothers it was the other dudes anyway we don't have to talk about this shit anymore they went to fucking heritage. Fuck the ops.

Fuck them, bro. Sanderson, 4L. What the fuck are you talking about? We'll get it back in blood. Yeah. I have a personal history. No, no, no. It's peace and love.

We're not getting shit back in blood. One of my favorite experiences with our podcast guest here, Drew Baldy, was it was our sophomore year in college. We were in the apartment. Cancel me. It was whiskey night you and i took down almost an entire handle of old granddad whiskey by ourselves i could not do that and anymore there it it would just resulted in disgusting consequences i remember i remember

drew i talked to drew do you remember what you said to make me throw up that night? Oh, I remember that. Oh, yeah. So I come into Drew's bathroom. His shower curtain is completely ripped down. Wrapped around his fucking leg. This happened on two separate occasions when I was living in that apartment where I destroyed my shower curtain. Classic. So he was standing

over the toilet and to get him to throw up I just talked about in graphic detail his grandmother and grandfather having sex. And he threw up like instant. That'll do it. I have great imagery when I want to.

Oh dude he described you fucked up in imagery. Drew, I couldn't believe how much Old Granddad, and that was the only whiskey night we had. Dude, you said you guys were drinking Old Granddad, and then you're like pitching your granddad. Yeah, I mean, it gets you thinking. He already got fucked by Old Granddad.

He didn't want to think about it anymore. Not that Milwaukee's Best is literally in the scene the entire time. It might be out of the frame. We're going to get Milwaukee's Best to sponsor us next. Fuck no. Criminal. Not after the hatchet job you did on them. If anything, we've got to get Ice House. I mean, what do you expect? If anything, that's a compliment to them.

They can't make this beer and say yeah, it's a good beer. That was a really refreshing beer. I enjoyed that. My great-grandfather's favorite beer was Milwaukeewaukee's best he left the ice off but milwaukee's best was his shit milwaukee's best i heard milwaukee's best wasn't even in milwaukee what about miller highlife who shot a grand bob bro all right miller highlife miller highlife shot grand bob rest in peace thank you good shit boys can i read some funny ass shit real quick go for it thank you um this shit's pretty funny so these are just some comments that we've received over

the uh previous pods this is across all platforms on all different videos i uh took some notes of different comments that we've received most of them are pretty uh hateful but i think they're fucking hilarious just the way it is man one person said that's a fucking sick story can i hear it again so you know not too bad what story was that on i mean what story was that on sorry um aj gets rich or aj is rich then uh blank check um the next comment is proof that not everybody needs a podcast that's pretty good aj comments on his personal account and said right just give it up um the next one is aj's so cocky that i'm super surprised he got a fiance she must have to hold it down for bro aj said big alpha guy ha ha jk bro but i'm super chill i just hate people that don't

use lids bro he said i'd throw him back with you boys without a doubt saying fuck you jesus what the he did a 180 if you're fucking bipolar he got called out and he fucking flipped it oh geez he did a 180 next comment is um not everyone deserves a podcast. I responded, but we do, right? He said, no. I said, dang it. Next comment. Fan love. I always like to Bradig when I purchase something for five times at one store that I can get anywhere else.

Ouch. Ouch. They said, not something to be proud of, boys. The whole town is proud, guys. All 96 subscribed. Meet at the gas station, boys. Get out of your mom's basement, you skid. Some people don't need to have their own podcast telling boring ass stories.

Fucking keyboard warrior. Somebody said, what is this? Who are these people? What is this? You view the video him bro next person said l story not the best right now but keep it up wait that was on my story right so i'm just confused like how this is the podcast you're on buddy no i'm aware and i'm like i don't care but like how how did these people find this video anyway? I don't fucking know. It is a challenge to just randomly stumble upon these videos.

Don't do that. Don't do that. We're on here for you. You have to search for the purpose. This is my favorite part. Drew, we're popping. This is love for Walker. We're getting there.

Listen, listen, listen. With you, we're going to be on there for you, too. AJ, shut your ass up for a second. Hey, guys, I have a question for Walker. Could he please go barefoot in the podcast? That was a random person talking about Walker's feet. They want to see his feet. A completely different person says on a completely, like, nine episodes later,

they say, can you wiggle your toes in your socks, please? Anyways, new sub. And then they also say, yay, no more blanket. And then they say, thank you so much. Just lots of toe wiggling throughout. But casual. No need to make a scene. They really want Walker's feet out there.

Give the people what they want, man. Walker, you know what we signed up for America has fostered a sense of entitlement individualism in everyone and that's a mistake everyone has access to the same info and everyone draws conclusions like they know anything

Walker can you dumb down what you just said for the people that don't understand it including me I totally drew a blank what the fuck are you talking about everyone seems entitled to like what they say. God damn it, Kenzie. Kenzie, you gotta stop talking. Kenzie, we can't hear you, bro.

Kenzie, stop, please. America taught people they matter, but they don't matter. And what you think about stuff doesn't matter. Who are you talking about? Walker, are you hammered? I don't matter and what you think about stuff doesn't matter who are you talking about people should be a walker are you hammered i don't know the freak oh my god hold on no no no look at our co-host walker's fucking eyes the motherfuckers are like squinting he's white girl wasted listen no look i saw this thing i want to talk about this real quick i think you look great people you look great man people who post shit on the internet right the people who view that who view the

information only see obviously like what we choose to to release to the internet and people really like base their whole i mean we probably do the same thing on shit we watch walker it's like yeah be crazy people base their whole opinions on people just based on like the the the 18 second clip that gets put out like that's wild to think about with like that's like how shit is nowadays i just blanked on what you just said is that not funny enough for everybody no this is always laugh podcast not always make me have to think so damn hard podcast why am i not laughing guys what the the fuck? Can somebody say something funny already? Oh, I got something.

Drew, start quoting Josh. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. I got something for you. Hold on. So, I was doing some research. I mean, God damn it. Drew, I was doing some research.

I'm going silent for a second. Hold on. I'm drunk. Talking to your fucking mic. Walker, shut up and talk into your mic too. You have done a shit job with this mic. I'm sorry, dude. Hey, so Drew, so I was looking back and you went to Sanderson High School, right?

I did go to Sanderson High School. That was your, you were a senior probably what, 2015, 2016? That is actually exactly correct. Really? Yes. So I was looking back, and I understood you played football, correct? Are you looking at my Instagram right now? Nope.

Okay. You played football, correct? Yes, I did. Were you pretty good? Walker, stop assaulting our friend. He doesn't seem to be consenting anymore. Were you pretty good? I don't think I was that good, no.

I was good enough to start. Do you remember back in whatever month 10 is? I forget. What is that? October. Do you remember October 30th when you played Wake Forest? I do, yes. Well,

you fucking had a game that seven tackles, bud? Oh my gosh, you look this up. I mean your fucking max perhaps account right now. Dude, there was one play like I was wide open for the tackle and I was able to tackle the guy downfield, but I was just reaching for something

and it was the running back and I wrapped my arm around the back of his legs and i ended up grabbing his dick you're like i'm not letting go yeah dude like yeah i was like oh i just had to yank it it's like i just keep yanking it yeah come on pull down so i just jerked this guy off one of my favorite drew moments ever. I think this was against Greenhook. Leesville. It was against Leesville. Drew made two plays in a row, and the second play was like an open field tackle for a loss. And you got up, and you were so excited, and you didn't know what to do with yourself,

and you were like... And just started bashing yourself in the head. I've never been in this situation before. I was nervous. His celebration was pretty sick. The Wake Forest game, you personally went off, but your team didn't, unfortunately. Hey, we did go off.

It was actually a really good game. That team, something's in the water at Wake Forest because they had Dexter Lawrence, who plays for the New York Giants now. They had Bryce Love, who was the runner-up and Heisman behind Baker Mayfield. Yeah. They had, I don't know, they probably had a dozen more players that made it to D1 football.

100%. That's what they're breeding in the Raleigh area? Oh, dude, Dexter Lawrence absolutely used it. All right, let's stop talking about people that nobody fucking cares about. Well, I was just wanting to bring up that. I think people care about Dexter Lawrence more than they do us. Dexter Lawrence is a bitch, and I'll say that to his face. Tell him to show up.

He seems like a nice guy. I'm just kidding. I fuck with Dexter. Mr. Lawrence. You won't tell Aleem he's a bitch. Aleem's not a bitch. He's my friend. Aleem's a great guy.

So you're right. I fuck with Aleem. Damn. But, yeah, going back on your, this is a while ago, but yes, I do have a twin. And a fun story about, you know, how the, about, you know. What's his name? My parents seeing that we were going to be twins is that when my mom was pregnant with us, that, you know, she got the ultrasound and whatnot.

And the doctor said that we were either gonna be mentally disabled or that was gonna be twins and it turns out as both so what's it what's your brother's name one in a million two in a million some say it can't be done. Prove them wrong. His name is Ryan. So Ryan and Drew, you got a brother named Chad? Or Brad?

Kenzie. Nobody can hear you. Yeah, we got no Chads or Brads in the family. Interesting. There ain't nothing wrong with that, brother. I'm i'm so happy sorry i just need to take a breath this is guest number two man i'm honestly extremely happy to even have guests i even want to be on this fucking podcast i like i like to consider myself a super fan which is crazy yeah we definitely appreciate you for locking in you've definitely, from what you've said so far, you've watched more than just the clips, so that's cool as fuck.

I like to watch you guys on Spotify just to get in my top five. You're currently holding hands with our co-host, so you are locked in. He's got very soft hands. We're going to be in his Spotify wrapped. That's dope. Soft boy hands. Drew, what you got going on after this podcast, buddy? Are we hitting the town?

I don't know. Are you going to bed? I got to take care of my dog. What kind of dog you got? What about your dogs? Yeah, what about your dogs? All right, I guess I'll do it. Fuck that dog.

I think me and Walker were talking about playing tennis tomorrow. But, you know, if he keeps looking at me like that Then we might do something tonight Yeah My leg was hurting Yeah it is I messed up my knee pretty bad What happened? I don't know I think I've always had bad knee problems

And then one day when I was doing legs I just you know squatting funny And then the next day it was just like I can't walk. I think I've always had bad knee problems. And then one day when I was doing legs, I just, you know, squat and funny. And then the next day it was just like, I can't walk on this right now. Yeah. You were putting up like 500. Have you ever had a knee injury? Like a surgery or anything? No.

Dude, I had an ACL surgery before and it was crazy. They like took some shit out of my hamstring and put it in my knee, bro. Yesterday I. Yesterday, I... Wait, how'd that happen, though? What happened to get your ACL torn? Car accident. Oh, shit. And then I went four years with no insurance.

God damn. And then I fucking got a fix. Fucker can't drive. Yeah. It wasn't even my fault, bro. I got hit by a Walmart truck in Michigan. Were you driving? Yeah.

Ah. Yeah. Was I driving? I fucking fishtailed in the snow and ice so it was your fault lucky to be alive motherfucker yeah are you trying to make me feel bad i fucking woke up they said some random dude you're bleeding from your nose don't move and then i woke up in the fucking hospital well i'm glad you made it out and then they woke up in the fucking hospital. Well, I'm glad you made it out. And then they sent me home four hours later telling me I was just badly bruised and I'm like sick

and then we go like four years down the road and then my shit's over. Have you ever woken up in the hospital? I mean, yeah, but I knew I was there. I went to sleep in the hospital and then woke up in the hospital. I didn't start somewhere else. I woke up in an ambulance one time.

That was pretty wild. When? It was when I had my stint with the seizures during my epilepsy phase. I woke up in the ambulance one time, and they were like, You had a seizure. I was like eight, and I was like, I don't know what that means. They're like, you were just shaking a lot. They were like,'s controlled now you had a seizure i was like eight i was like i don't know what that means they're like you're just shaking a lot they're like don't worry about it we'll we'll get to the hospital you were harlem that doesn't make me feel any better like oh i

gotta go to the hospital so is that is that something that you can just outgrow or how does that work it comes and it goes well i have i have my sister wheezy to thank a lot for it. She actually conditioned me. She found a couple things on the early internet. She used to come to my room and she would flick my lights really fast and just yell at me. And I haven't had a seizure since. So she got you right. Shout out Weezy for that. By trying to cause a seizure, she got me right.

I've known about Walker's little epilepsy thing for a while, and I, from time to time, try to get him to have a seizure. He's rock solid, though. That reminds me of Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare. It actually cured his epilepsy. Beautiful. Dude, yesterday I was doing some yard work, and I was doing some weed whipping around this bush,

and a fucking, like, I don't know if it was a baby bird. It was a smaller bird. Oh, God. Fell out of the bush. Don't tell me weed whipped it. Hell no. But, like, it fell out of the bush and was just like sitting there and then it like hopped and like you could tell its wing was kind of messed up and it couldn't

fly right true but then i kept i've heard you you like uh so i kept um i kept oh my bad my bad look at this clock damn damn so I kept weed whipping, and this bird kept following me around the yard everywhere that I went. And, yeah, it was pretty cute. Thanks, guys. Oh, nice. I like that. I like that story. Thank you.

Walker, you got anything for our Walker's section of the podcast? No, man. My time's up. Okay. Yeah, he blew it. 100% his fault. Nobody else's. Okay. Okay. Hey, Drew. No man my time's up Okay Yeah he blew it 100% his fault Nobody else's Okay

Hey Drew I know y'all said Y'all went to school Together My bad What college did y'all go to? So we all went to UNC Charlotte

Home Home of the 49ers Together That sounds like some bullshit Home of the 49ers Oh dude It was great I forget what i forget what you were saying walker but something made me think of something you said made me think about

uh when we used to go to the basketball games and i don't know i don't even know what you did but it wasn't even anything bad but for whatever reason like unc char UNC Charlotte recorded that and put it on the Jumbotron on things not to do at a basketball game. So it's just like, please, no alcoholic beverages in the stands. And then please, don't do this. And it's just Walker standing up. We went to a basketball game our freshman year. And at one point during the game game I saw the camera and I was like oh that's filming the stands right above me so I stood up and my face

just totally filled the jumbotron cut away real quick so I was dating a girl on the volleyball team a couple years later damn me and then go to the go to the one athlete and we're looking up at the screens one of her teammates had been like you look kind of familiar and I'm like I've never seen you before we were watching the Jumbotron and it was like please do not disrupt

the play of game and it showed me standing up and then a giant cross out right in front of my face they did it for the entire four years that we were there. It was hilarious. So you were the face of what not to do in a indoor sporting event. They did not let that die.

It was so fucking funny. Dude, good old volleyball girl. You should give it up, bro. Get a new freshman. She's the one that got away, man. Yeah, Walker dated a 6'2", D1 volleyball player. Hard, hardcore Christian, too. She would dunk on you.

Devout Catholic woman. Oh, 100% could have dunked on him. Oh, 100%. She would spike the shit out of your ass. Walker, how was that experience? Oh, it was great. She could speak old English. That's scary.

Is that like in tongues? Pretty much. It sounds like like have you ever seen the exorcism old english what the fuck she started speaking it sounded like some like demonic what's the new english well we're speaking now but i mean honestly it was great you know god she would wrap around me like a tree she She spooned me. Dude, she's just like a spider monkey. Eight out of ten. That's fucking beautiful. Were you the little spoon or big spoon?

What do you think? Little. Oh, dude. There was no way he could be the big spoon. I love being the little spoon. Come here, boy. Yep. I love being the little spoon.

Oh, me too. It's the most comforting thing in the world. We would hold hands and I felt like a little kid. A little kiss. A little kiss. He's on the back of the neck. It's great. Walker, Walker, can I formally apologize for ruining your 38-minute segment?

I got a little ahead of myself. I got a little aggressive. To be honest, I had no idea what you guys were talking about. Oh, yeah. I'm a little bit tipsy at this point. I was just like, don't you fucking interrupt me. I'm taking over, bitch. That's completely my fault.

I go right into it and you guys so... I'm like, fuck no! Give me your mic. Hey, hey. You're about one outburst away from this being on Patreon. Please chill out. This is for YouTube only. Oh, sorry. Alright, thank you. Drew. Yes, sir. What?

Tell me something I don't know about you, bro. Ooh. And I barely even know you. This is my second time meeting you. I've been to your house. You know I went to that Charlotte house, right? You did? Which one? You weren't there.

The Dude Ranch, baby. The Dude Ranch. Oh, we haven't even talked about the Dude Ranch. Can we talk about the Dude Ranch real quick? The Milk Challenge. Look that up. No, no, no. There's videos.

You guys can literally look up and see these these three eat it or wear it god that that is uh that is these three in action i highly recommend against it listen awesome later score daily i went to your house i saw that big ass dog everything that same day i went to your house i fucking dapped up al horford fucking jason tatum fucking kairi okay downtown charlotte just dangling one of the drunk as fuck one of the low-key funniest things about being in that house so just like background

one of our roommates Doble who we can you know you guys can hopefully have in the podcast we fuck with Doble great guy he bought two goats for our house and they're named Billy and Hoobly they're the most adorable goats ever nice pygmy goats can we can we pop a picture like yeah check right here um so yeah check

right right there um we got you so yeah there were these adorable goats that we had just they were chilling in the backyard and then we had, who had made a feature on this podcast as well. And Chunk, who was our other roommate's dog. And so they're all just four. Don't forget the OG. Bentley. Bentley. Bentley wasn't here.

Bentley. For reasons we won't get into. Yeah, our former roommate fucking put him on the side of the road. Allegedly. Anyway, so they were all just like in the backyard and one of the goats, their names were Billy the Kid

and Hoobly Classfields and we can get into their names on maybe a different podcast. But yeah. Hoobly Hoobly really likes uh really likes to hump billy just go at it oh yeah and so he started humping billy and billy likes humping too so he started humping cuddy so there's a train going on in the backyard and Chunk was just running around trying to get into it too. They're literally just running around the concrete in the backyard.

It was hilarious. Yeah, these animals got a little freaky. Chunk was so funny because Chunk was a decent-sized puppy. He was smaller than Cuddy. When we saw him as a puppy, he was maybe like 10 pounds. And the goats would fuck with him. And then Chunk grew up to be about 160, 170 pounds when we were still living at the house. Named Chunk.

And the goats didn't fuck with him anymore. Oh, no. They're like, this is a fucking beast. What do we do? Are you talking about that horse? This dog was a small bear. This dog is 180 pounds. It is scary when he runs towards you.

What was that dog that we saw, bro? The big horse-looking dog. Great name. That was Chunk. Oh, that was Chunk? He didn't look like no fucking bear. He looked like a goddamn horse. Was he an English Massive?

He was huge. I got a video. I got a video of him chasing me around. I was dangling in your house. You weren't there, bro. You'd just be dangling, man. You'd just be hanging there. AJ, you're always dangling.

You're dangling here, dangling there. Just dangling, bro. You'd dangle everywhere. Walker, I want to say, you are fucking clutching that mic, buddy. He knows how to handle something that size. He's got that gorilla grip. Dude, I don't want to. You got to meet in the middle.

I've heard. I can't do the slip down. Because it was making noise. Right there. Perfect. Perfect. I'm buzzed up right now. Oh, please don't do that.

But listen. I'm like a comedian now. Knees weak. Arms are sweaty. You're right. Please stop doing that right now. That was really not enjoyable. So I did get a story that my brother told me to put on the podcast.

Let's hear it. It's the one about the fire extinguisher. Oh, God. I was told to put it on. Let's tell this story drew all right so so it was i think it was my birthday and y'all like threw like surprise birthday for me and it was uh my twin brother my older brother that came and sophomore year of college sophomore year of college we're just chilling in our apartment good times you know good vibes just you know playing

some beer pong just having some drinks, having a good time. My twin brother ends up passing out on the couch late at night and obviously we're just like, let's fuck with him. We gotta fuck with him. So we start with like getting some eggs and stuff and just like cracking on his head, cracking his mouth and stuff. Getting some sour

cream, like rubbing on his face. And then... It's different. Austin is just different when he's in a certain state when he he's got fire in his eyes when he gets in that mode i was a i was a man on a mission we had a mini fire extinguisher under a sink so he pulls it out and just like i'm gonna spray this dude and uh let's let's spray him with the fire extinguisher if that doesn't say college i don't know what the fuck. For whatever reason, it just wasn't working.

So he comes up with the brilliant idea of just banging it on the kitchen counter. And I'm pretty sure that caused part of the counter to crack. Oh, yeah. I was solely responsible for the cracks in the counter. I did multiple things to that counter that made it break. Cracking on the counter. I did multiple things to that counter that made it break. Cracking on the counter. It was the big girl. Literally chucked it across the apartment,

like left a stain on her beer pong table. I'm like, how the fuck do I get this thing open? Like, and then his, you know, his brain decided to go to, what if I put this in the microwave? Like if I put it in the microwave, it should pop open, right boys? That makes sense. You put a fire extinguisher in the microwave? You're about to piss me off. So he puts it in the microwave, it should pop open, right, boys? What? That makes sense. You put a fire extinguisher in the microwave? You can see the logic around that.

That would piss me off. So he puts it in the microwave, turns it on, and in my drunk mind, I'm like, this is life or death. That's a hazard, bro. I need to stop this man. It was a bomb. So I'm like, Austin. So I'm like, Austin, you can't do that. And Austin's like, fuck you.

We get into an all-out ball he chucks me like into like across the kitchen i slide into the closet and we're just going at it just fighting each other in the meantime like connor's my older brother's just cracking up in the corner and just like opens the microwave yeah just like yeah it's fine so then that's not even where the story ends i was so i was so I was being such an idiot that night. After it was taken out of the microwave, I figured out that you could just unscrew the top. It was actually quite easy. I unscrewed the fucking top of it and just poured it everywhere.

And Drew's still fighting me. You poured it all over my room. Yeah, because Drew was pissing me off. He was like, I'm going to bed. What's inside a fire extinguisher? Horrible, this dusty-ass chemical-smelling shit. It was really awful. Can I tell another one of my favorite apartment stories? You can tell it.

Just finish this one real quick. Yeah, so Drew and I are still fighting because he's like, Austin, fuck you. Like, please go to bed and leave me alone. Like, I'm pouring shit all over his room. I needed to get my ass beat, basically. Drew puts me in a headlock and cranks my neck to the side and all of my teeth grind against each other i have a

chip in my tooth to this day sorry not that a chip would go away but i have a chip in my tooth from that night and drew fucking cranking my neck and my jaw like fucking up all my teeth i i just did not care i'm like i'm you did i should have been knocked out you should have just you should have you should have cold cocked me nothing is better though then and just to make a brief point uh the best part about living in that apartment was when your sister was like there the next morning and we just recap the entire night because she was so good at recapping it it made it so much more funny oh yeah yeah i think she needs a big guess i think a lot of people can

relate to that like after a she will be a long night of like drinking and just like fucking drunk activities if there's that one person there in the morning that could solely like recap the whole night i think that's like a fucking gift from like. It almost makes it better, man. Oh, dude. It's almost better than the actual night. Especially if they're not like, if they're not looking down upon you, if they're just like catching a vibe.

No, she was looking down upon us, but it was funny. No, I'm saying like in a nice way though. Like not passing judgment, but also passing judgment. But like not in like a. We knew the actions we were doing. One night, me, Austin, and Drew set out, and we decided to relieve, we'll say relieve a frat house up the street of their basketball hoop.

Before this, we played. We played like 20 games at Cario Mart. We played about 20 games at Cario Mart. For those who aren't familiar, Car Mario Mart is where you play Mario Kart, but you drink a beer every two races. A shit ton of drinking. You can't drink and drive, and you can't drink in between races. So we were nice and feeling saucy, and we walked up the street,

and we saw a basketball hoop, and we're like, oh, that's ours. Greek letters. Yeah, that's ours. They don't need that anymore. They don't need a hoop like that. So Austin and Drew end up towing this thing all the way down the street back down to our apartment complex where we then shuck it down from like 10 feet to 8 feet, carry it up with the sand-filled bottom up three flights of stairs, and put it in our apartment for the next six months with the basketball goal set at 8 feet, spilling sand everywhere.

Thank goodness we had vaulted ceilings. Y'all did not have a whole hoop in the crib. We did. A full-size basketball hoop. We're posting a picture right here. Yeah. We went 100%. Oh, my God.

Y'all never heard of the hoop on the back of the door? Y'all just said, fuck it, bring the whole thing. What's the fun in that, dude? You can't really dunk on that. If they really wanted to find the basketball hoop, there was a sand trail all the way from where we took it up to our front door. Like a quarter mile.

It was quite possibly the easiest mystery to solve. For sure. And then the next morning, we went and looked at this trail and Walker just brushed off the trail with his foot, just like a little bit, like a foot of it. And just like, yep, the campfire is now.

The trail is cut off. Drew, are you going to serve up some Milwaukee's or what? Let's have one, bro. You guys want? Let's just see what they're all about. I want to taste like a lower income bracket. Have you never had, what's the cheapest beer you've had? Ice House for sure, a.k.a. Shit House.

Ice House is even worse than this. Really? Ice House is the most godforsaken beer I've ever had in my life. Pass them down. Pass them down. Boys, I think we should test these beers out and then... I'm not going to lie. I'm going to have a sip and then put it down.

Oh, for sure. We got to try it. No, we at least have to crack it. Yeah, let's crack it and try it out. But let's make our closing arguments after this. To Drew motherfucking Baldy. Thank you, boys. Closing arguments.

I love that. Oh, this is fire. It's not bad, bro. It's not terrible. It definitely has a very bad aftertaste. I'd prefer... Oh, no, no, no. The aftertaste is different.

That tastes like college freshman year. See, whenever... So, we lived... Freshman year, we lived at our dorm. Sophomore year, we lived in an apartment. Our junior and senior year, we lived in the big house where we had the goats. And by the junior-senior year, we lived in the big house where we had the goats. And by the junior, senior year, we had a Dollar General

that was right next to our house. And they had a 12-pack of Bush Ice for $4.95. And I would always get that. And so whenever I go back to any kind of- $5? Yeah. Whenever I go back to any kind of college event, I always have to get Bush Eyes.

I got to stick with my roots, dude. You can't even get two McDoubles for $5. Walker and Drew have had a lovely, intimate session, and it's beautiful. Yeah. Closer arguments. College was a lovely time. Drew Baldy, it was-

I'm very glad that you were there for for me to um spend time with you with there yeah that was a good time in college i understood that yeah did y'all graduate the same year like the same fucking shit y'all the same age i'll actually graduate before us yeah i was the first to graduate fun fact y'all got the same degree too don't y'all yeah uh yes we did what the fuck i forget what happened i so i was in a community college my first semester of college, and y'all had to live with – it was you two, one of our friends, Jared, and then this random guy. And then luckily the community college I was at, I was able –

so I had gotten into the college but into the spring semester, not the fall. So I was going there anyways, and luckily the person who was living with y'all ended up going to the community college that I was at, and I ended up going there. So it ended up working perfectly. Yeah, we were fully prepared to be like, hey, bro, I hate to do this, but can we ask you to leave? And before we even said any of that, he was like,

yeah, I'm moving out. We were like, oh, perfect. Drew's coming in then. He was a nasty motherfucker. He was a cool dude. We're not name dropping. He was all right. He was all right. He was a nasty motherfucker. He was a cool dude. We're not name dropping. He was all right. He was all right.

He was all right. He was a hairy boy. My man would keep dominoes. We don't need to get all into it. For days on end and eat it. No, it was Wendy's. We all have bad habits. It was Wendy's, but he would do it with the cheese bread too.

The cheese bread is different, bro. All right, make your closing arguments, boys. Anything to say? Last final words? Don't make me go first. I just want to say thank you, Twisted T, for always keeping it twisted. I just want to say shout out to everyone who fucks with us on the internet. Drop a comment of how you feel about some shit.

Just say something because it gets us fired the fuck up. Walker, it's not necessarily your fault, but I think that mic just makes noise, dude. So I'm sorry for me bringing that up again. To be honest, I haven't even been listening too much. It's all right, though. It sounds fine to me. It's not your fault at all.

I think it's just that mic. Walker, closing arguments. Shout out to fucking everyone. Were you up first? Mm-mm. You know, I have a lot of things to say. All right. Keep it sweet.

Short and sweet. Dude, you... Closing arguments, bud. Come on. You've been dumping all over me this episode. Yeah, you're being a pain in my fucking ass. You're being a pain in my ass. What do you want to do?

Fight about it? Yeah. Okay, let's fight about it. Speak your truth. All right. Speak your truth. Say what you got to say. Hey, guys, let's start fighting. Come Speak your truth. Say what you gotta say.

You completely disrespected my segment. Yeah, fuck your weak ass segment. Next. Are we never gonna have a guest again if you guys keep going? Drew, are you okay with this? I think AJ, you and me are gonna be the ones that carry this podcast. Drew, will you allow us to finish our fight? Are you cool with this? Yes. Only if it turns sexual.

It's gonna be paper. Walker? No, Only if it turns sexual. It's going to be paper. Walker? No, that finishes it. All right, bet. Drew, any closing arguments? I just want to say thank you guys for having me. You guys are my best of buds, and it really means a lot that you guys had me as one of your guests,

and you guys trust me to be on this podcast. This is going all the way, baby. You just got to stick to it, man. I appreciate going all the way baby you just gotta stick to it man i appreciate that stick to it we appreciate you so much for uh coming out here and doing this with us we really do um yeah appreciate all of you guys for listening to another episode of the always laugh podcast walker sorry if your feelings are hurt right now but i'm sure we'll get through it um yeah my name's austin lane if it's up then it's stuck my name is fucking AJ like comment subscribe

hit me up in the DM Alan sorry Walker I stole your bit one more time do what they said Walker Drew

my name is Drew thanks Ray thanks for watching hey hold on hold on real quick Drew where can they find you at what's your socials

I'm not giving that that's private information we out love you people What's your socials? I'm not giving that away. That's private information. Thank you. We out. Love you, people.