Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #17 - We Found The Cure To Cancer!

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

This episode we talk about having the cure, stolen bikes, what to do when going bald, and when the bong hits you back. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww MERCH - Coming Soon! Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj my name is walker we're smoking on that carolyn bryant dunham pack smith rest in piss bitch damn this is the number one podcast you've never heard of grab your bev you see we grabbed ours if you're watching on youtube um other than that yeah we're chilling if you ain't laughing you ain't living baby let's get it how we doing guys how we feeling was that tiger king's wife you just oh no that's carol basking yeah walker i don't know who that person is but apparently you don't fuck with them heavy no no i don't fuck with them who is that person uh she was the white woman who falsely

accused emmett till of rape and got him oh she died and she died today oh yeah we smoking on that pack in piss yeah rest in piss for sure um so boys what's been up i feel like it's been so long so we've seen each other right um dude life, life's just been going and going and going, you know? It's just been going. Just been going. Yep, just been grinding. Has it been a whole week? Yeah, a week today.

At least for me seeing y'all. By the way, I want to give a little shout out to AJ especially, but also my boy Austin a little bit. Okay. Y'all put up that gosh darn privacy fence and it looks awesome dude congratulations to kenzie and well i guess the cat's out of the bag isn't it thank you kenzie chime in real quick and tell me how you feel about that it was supposed to be a secret walker you just leaked it to the world for everyone we know the fam friends and family dog y'all have to give me some kind of warning.

I don't care. Hey, you know the thing we've been talking about for weeks? Don't talk about that. It's all right. I don't care personally, but thanks, man. That's a new addition we have to our yard. Yeah, it was a good time putting it up. Got all drunk out there.

I'm happy it's done, and it really adds a vibe to the backyard now. The fence is probably leaning based on the environment and the people participating. No hate. But, you know, we had a couple bevs. So, no, it's level. It's good. Yeah. My shit is good plum baby

what a great word you know plum i know i've heard of plum my guy plum i love me a plum rump you know what i'm saying what about a plump rump oh when it just stands straight up speaking speaking of plump rumps um i want to call out Austin really quick. Oh, fuck. Austin. What'd I do? I hate this. I was scared as hell when he started talking about me. Just hurry up and say it.

Austin matched on a dating service with a girl who plays the guitar and sings, and he dusted out his guitar for the first time since we moved in the house. I have no idea who or what walker is talking about right now um uh yeah walker that must have been a dream you're making sure i think is that why he was on the front porch practicing the car oh that was for a whole different reason yeah that was for the really cute girl that's always freaking at the bar next door. I was trying to. I waved to her today. I was trying to put on.

Oh, yeah. How'd it go? It was good. Did she wave back? Yeah, yeah. She was in our driveway, and then she got out of our driveway. I waved. I was like, thanks.

And then she was like, you're welcome. So you didn't go out of your way to wave. It was more like. I think it's getting serious, actually. I want the people to comment on what they think we should or you guys should do so they have this girl that is out front of their house all the time i feel like smoking and just hanging out and austin and maybe walker are are kind of under the same impression that they don't know how to approach this person.

She's got me under a spell. I get nervous every time I see her. How does one step off their front porch and say, Hey, we see you every day outside our house on the sidewalk or in our driveway because the driveway is attached to the sidewalk. Honestly, I'm just not pressed, you know? All I'm saying is you were pressed earlier, buddy. I'm in sidewalk honestly i'm just not pressed you know all i'm saying you were pressed earlier buddy i'm in love but i'm not pressed if she had been in our driveway when that guitar playing was going on yesterday she would have needed a new pair of shorts that's all i know the girl with the short brown hair that was smoking a cigarette today

uh she has like blonde hair blonde brown she had on like jeans and cons and bursts. Yeah. Cons and bursts. Don't ask me, I wasn't looking. She got on cons and bursts. She was really cute though. So, uh. Kenzie's approval. Austin, you can go for it now. So how does one, how do you, I told him I'll just say, you just gotta like, you might have to just blow a dart with her.

No, I, everybody has their own way of like talking to someone for the first time. I like make it like blunt and like kind of awkward on purpose. And Walker can probably attest to this because he's witnessed it a lot of times. What am I? Can I tell my favorite time ever? We were at our local watering hole. And there's this really cute bartender. Buffalo watering hole. Who kind of like serves at a bar back. Like And there's this really cute bartender. Buffalo watering hole.

Who kind of like serves at a bar back. Like she was bartending like a special occasion. So Austin has been in love with this girl for like a couple months. And she is super cute. So we walk up to the bar and she's getting us drinks. And Austin goes, just so you know, I'm not flirting on you. Or I'm not flirting with you. And she like didn't hear him.

And then she looked up and she was like, what? And he said it again. And she just looked at us and looked back down at what she was doing. And I started cackling laughing. I could not handle it. And then the bartender that we know, the one that we're like friends with, walks up and she's like, she has a boyfriend, dude. Don't feel too bad. I'm like, fuck, now I feel way worse that you came up and said that to me.

Idiot. Yeah, no, I was slightly under the influence and wasn't thinking very straight. Well, that is like one of your personality traits is ascribing awkwardness to situations that don't necessarily call for it oh yeah it's like my go-to i love it oh the the i think it was the super bowl me and austin's family it was probably like eight people in this living room when we were just sitting here there's no music there was no tv we were just all eating pizza and austin puts his piece of pizza down and he's like, isn't this weird, guys? We're just all sitting around, not talking, eating pizza. It just made it so awkward for no reason.

I don't think it made it awkward personally. And that wasn't one of those situations where I was trying to make it awkward. It was more like I was catching a vibe. I was like, wow, all my favorite people are in the room eating pizza silently. When was this? I don't know if it was the Super Bowl. It was one of the times that we had like the whole fam over or something can we talk about the toby commercial during the super bowl shut the world down everyone freaked out and thought the toby app when they switched over yeah dude that was genius marketing it was and we were using tubi right we were using

i don't know we were using i yelled at walker because it put it on mr and mrs smith and i was like walker's trying to put it on like oh we're we're using like we're drunk i had no idea where the remote was i was like kenzie what are you talking about there was thousands of people across the world there's videos of people live reactions, like people who have in-home cameras and shit, freaking out during that time. Like, oh, where's the remote? Like, what the fuck? Genius, Mark.

It's just literally the TV. No one even moved. I mean, they nailed it. They killed it. That person probably got a raise. Oh, for sure. Whoever came up with that was like, they probably woke up in the morning.

Everybody knows what Tubi is, whatever the fuck that is. We all know what it is now. I, this past weekend, saw one of the funniest chain reaction sequence of events I've seen in a hot minute. It was quite funny. So my family and I went to this beer festival in downtown Raleigh. We all get nice and feeling good. And at the end of it, I'm with all older people, my grandparents, and somebody that's in their 40s or something. So we're all good and drunk, and we're like, okay, it's time to go home like we got to get out of here and i'm like i'll call an uber like let's

let's just call an uber it's the best way to go uh but we're like a mile away from this from our house and everybody's like no let's just get on lime scooters that's a genius idea and i'm like okay you guys are drunk and not agile so like maybe let's not get on lime scooters and they're like we can do it shut up austin i'm like okay perfect sick so i'm sitting there trying to get my grandfather's phone to load lime scooter his ancient ass technology like trying to get his credit card and do all this shit he hops on my lime scooter that i already had running all three of them take off without me i I'm like, what the fuck? You guys don't even know how to get home.

Do you think you're going to operate your GPS while you're flying down the street on a Lime Scooter? There's no chance in hell. Sue can do anything. Yeah, she really can through liquid courage. You have to put some respect on your grandparents' name. They're just not standard grandparents. Okay, 100%. They are very capable.

They like to party. If I would trust any grandparent, it would be them to be on a Lime Scooter. So they all leave me. I'm like, you guys don't even know how. Grandpa leaves me with his phone and my phone. So I'm trying to get his working. I finally catch up to them after I got his working. But he didn't have my phone.

So if you go out of range on these Lime scooters, it stops it from working. So I fly past them. I'm like, all right, everybody follow me. Like I'm going to get you guys home. So everybody's like, cool. Yeah, whatever. Grandpa Marks or yeah, whatever. Grandpa Marks Lime scooter stops working because I'm out of range with my phone. I look back and he's laying on the sidewalk like he fell over because his scooter just like stopped like just ran out of gas because whatever it shut off he falls over and i i stop and i'm laughing my ass off i'm like i know he's fine whatever so i stopped like pretty abruptly andrea's right behind me slams on brakes, but she hits the front brake. She damn near flies over the handlebars, eats shit. And it was all Mark's fault.

But it was one of the funniest things. The next day, get a text from her, and it's a picture of her leg completely messed up, completely black and blue, bruised up. It was a very funny sequence of events though did you know that that um that craft beer festival is the second largest festival in america yeah it's pretty wild i'd never even heard of it before that's pretty dope yeah that that kind of reminds me of a story uh my sister got her bike stolen when she was a kid and we were a big biking family like we would bike to school and everything like that so you bike to school they lived very our elementary school was like right down the road um that's iconic so her bike got stolen and it was like a big deal right so my

dad was like all right we're gonna go buy her a new bike and just pretend like we just found it and like it just won't be a big deal so we go in we pick out the exact model of bike genius out in the parking lot i'm like i'm gonna do a lap on it real quick so i'm riding the bike i'm gonna break it in real quick i come around to the car i slam the front pedal and front flip over the bike taking it along with me absolutely like i scrape like half of the plastic off the gear changers so the bike the brand new bike right out of the store was like fucked and i was like i my dad was furious and i was like well it got stolen like you know maybe they dinged it up a little bit oh he was not happy with me. Oh, I believe he was pissed.

And not only did I fuck up the bike, I front flipped, like, on my face on the asphalt. Right, your dad's all pissed. Like, what the hell, Walker? You fucked up the bike. He's like, what about my, you're like, what about my face? That's one of those things you, as a kid, like, you get up and you're like, I'll deal with that pain later. I've got to, like, take care of my angry parent first. Yeah, your face slams into the concrete and your first thought is, I'll deal with that pain later. I've got to take care of my angry parent first. Your face slams into the concrete

and your first thought is, I fucked up the bike. I immediately look at his face to see what his reaction is. He's just looking at the bike like, fuck you, Walker. You want to hear some funny? You better be bleeding. Speaking of fucking up some shit, I remember when I was in high school uh my dad at that time had a chrysler 300 on rims right i'm like 22s big fucking flashy rims right on the all black 300 right

a cool ass car to even potentially even get in like to get picked up in that like the one time or potentially that he ever picked me up in high school was like iconic right but like he let me drive that bitch to high school because he had either like he oh just here's the keys just take it because the fucker was on like a crack bender like the night before or some shit. It was like, just take it. And I'm like, all right, like, yeah, right. Like, take it. Like, what? So, you know, I'm pulling up to school like blasting music, you know,

just because I want all attention. Like, that shit was like iconic to pull up in the 300 on rims in high school. There's people with tractors out there. Bitch, I got the 300 on rims. So, look. So, long story short one day after school i pull up to the basketball court and i tried to fucking pull it up pull it up to the curb and i scratched the fuck out of the rim dude oh you fucked up and for some reason, my dad pulled up to the basketball court on his Harley to watch me play basketball, essentially, at the park.

We used to run full court and shit at the park at Bloomfield. Anyone from Jackson listening, I miss the Bloomfield days. Shout out to anybody from Jackson listening. Bro, if you don't bring that contract, I'm defaulting to the contract we gave you, which specifically included no mention to Jackson, Michigan. But look, I was more worried about. So wait, slow down. Is this a different story?

Where are we at? No, no, no. I just. It was in referring to like I was so. You fucked up his rims at school. And I was more worried about trying to parallel park and I hit the curb. Oh, okay. I was more worried about cleaning the rim than I was even hooping or anything like that.

Yeah, you were stressed out. And then by the time I got to the court, I saw my dad pull up with the Harley. And then I couldn't even hoop because I was like, oh my God, he's going to see the rim. He's going to see the rim. He's going to see the rim. And I just played it so crazy. I have no idea what happened. somebody must have stolen it and fucking see that scrape on the curb right there yeah it wasn't me but dude you know how careful you got

to drive when you have a car rims on it it's like insane especially in michigan bro it's well i feel like most people typically try not to hit curbs most people don't get rims in Michigan. But we're talking about pot. Buddy, you'd be surprised. I have yet to see a car rims actually in rally yet. I feel like rims are like... Have they phased out? I feel like rims peaked around mid-2000s. Hold on.

That's when the spinners were in. Bro, I used to see the spinners. I thought those were the hardest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I was like, I'm getting those someday. I'm getting spinners in my life. Have rims phased out besides like a select like 1%? I mean like in Michigan, people will put rims on the most piece of shit cars. Oh, if you ain't got a Crown Vic with rims on it, you not doing it, baby.

Dude, I feel like people just don't care anymore. I see. No, I do see like I see a lot of trucks here with rims on, like, squatted trucks and, like, big-ass trucks with rims on it. They're going to do it up. They'll do it. But I don't see no. But that's, like, you're talking about, like, a 10,000 set of wheels. Like, they ain't no cheap shit.

But, like, in Michigan, the rims cost more than the car. Yeah, I don't really see any, like, shit boxes with nice rims anymore. That must be like a fucking Jackson America thing. There's a lot more drug dealers up there, buddy. It ain't all drug dealers, it's drug users too, buddy. My dad had one. There's a lot of

drug dealers, which means there's a lot of drug wait, what'd I say? A lot of drug users so there's more drug dealers. It goes hand in hand. Amen. Amen. Shout out Jackson. Shout out all our fans in Jackson. Jackson, America. Your boy made it, baby.

He made it out the mud. All 115 subscribers to show it. I can't. Speaking of drugs, one time I smoked weed. This guy. One time I smoked weed. Off the rail we go. Come on. I did't. Speaking of drugs, one time I smoked weed. This guy. One time I smoked weed. Off the rail we go. Come on.

I did it. I smoked weed one time. I hit a bong. Jesus. The fucker hit me back. I swear to God. I said, bitch. Walker, this was, I'm sure you remember this.

This was sophomore year. Can I insert a pic? The cough, the cough. Yeah. Can I insert a pic? I don't know if we have one. I got one. Remember the one I just sent you? Buddy, I've smoked weed one time. I got a pic? The cough, the cough. Yeah. Can I insert a pic? I don't know if we have one, but we can. I got one. Remember the one I just sent you?

Buddy, I've smoked weed one time, head ass. I got the pic. Yeah, you got the pic that you took. Shut up. Ignore anything AJ just said. Cut that. Yeah. Fucking idiot.

Sophomore year of college. I'm sure you remember this. Oh, very well. Dude, Walker's like, good luck hitting that bong. And I'm like, oh, I'll sure you remember this. Oh, very well. Dude, Walker's like, good luck hitting that bong. And I'm like, oh, I'll show you. So I light it up, rip it, pulled out the whatever it's called. What is it called? What is it called?

Little piece. Pulled out the little piece. I get halfway through trying to clear this bong, cough directly into the mouthpiece of it, and a water fountain fucking sprays eight feet in the goddamn air and lands on our coffee table. Bro, he is not even joking. It sprayed. It looked like a fucking fountain.

It was perfectly out of the bong. It arched a fucking fountain. It was like perfectly out of the box. It arched perfectly. Dude. And we all start. It was like you, me, I think, I don't know, a couple other people. I didn't even laugh because I'm coughing uncontrollably. We were all dying laughing at this. Like, it's like, we don't even care. Thank God we weren't like in public or with people that mattered.

Like, that would have been a bad smoke. A bad smoke. A bad moment. I got some bad smoke. You smoked weed before? Public embarrassment. Yeah, back home in Michigan when it was legal. Fair enough.

I once... I once... Actually, no. I got a question. What's the... I know you only smoked weed once. Have you ever smoked weed, Walker? Oh, yeah.

What's the largest, like, tallest... I go to legal states all the time. What's the tallest bong you've ever hit, like, in length? One time, my buddy took me to, like, his... I guess it was, like, his manager's house at the restaurant he worked at. And this dude, he was a cool guy. But I could obviously tell that he was kind of a weirdo. And this man, swear to God, had $5,000 to $10,000 worth of glass bombs. He had the seven foot

bong he had like the like the multi-perk bongs i think the biggest one we hit was like a four footer or something like that but it was just like crazy like how much more air you have to take in bro you're hanging out with wild friends wild managers back then that's what I was gonna say because like me in East Lansing freaking I was introduced to this bong that was I swear to God that motherfucker was all the four feet

tall and I hit that I hit that thing and I of course you like you gotta try to clear it like you don't clear it with the fuck are you fucking be careful you might make a water fountain one fucking living here you one foot in one foot out but look i tried to clear it right and i i don't know if i did or not but i i ended up greening out off that shit i had to get taken home by someone i didn't even know i

was just green the fuck out off the four-footer. It didn't go well. I don't think I've ever greened out before. Oh, dude, I literally felt like I was going to die. It felt like I did dabs and I only smoked flour. I nicked out. Not that I know of dabs. I've nicked out before. When I was 16, all I wanted to do was smoke a cigar.

I thought that was the most badass thing ever. So my mom bought us cigars, and we smoked one for my 16th birthday and i got maybe a quarter of the way through it before i ran downstairs and just puked my fucking guts out and just had a like the dizzy spell from hell like oh i believe it buddy oh yeah that was that was like i had never tried nicotine before that, and that shit fucked me up. That's literally me off of Zin. I cannot do Zins, man. I feel like that's you off the views. No, man. The Zins that fucking everyone around this motherfucker is popping like candy.

If I put one of them things in, it's OD, bro. I'm about to die. Off of damn Zin, bro. Ain't that some zen bro ain't that some shit ain't that some shit that is some shit but look hey you speaking of like you know you guys are talking about weed and shit i have a funny weed story that happened to me um do you want to hear it i know it's a rhetorical question that you guys told me to stop saying i don't know maybe i think we should get off the weed talk personally that's my my personal opinion. But what do you think, Walker? Let's let him finish this one.

All right. Run your story, AJ. Go ahead. All right. I once was at a party, a house party, back when that was a thing. I don't know if people still do house parties anymore. It was like a house party. They've gone extinct.

Never heard of them. House party in the Jack on Woodbridge. And look. Strike. And look, my buddy was like, yo, can you help us roll this up real quick? I'm like, yeah, man. I'm like, probably like on the pod. You already told this story. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Breaking the stick down? Definitely. Yes. Oh, okay. All right. Sorry. My brain is fried, man.

I'm sorry. So let's eject from that. All right. So I'm going to pose this. So sometimes I get ideas for segments or not really segments, more like topics of conversation. Yeah. But I don't really know which way I want to take it. So I'm going to give you two options and you can take it either way.

Ooh. I'm going to give you two options and you can take it either way. Ooh, I'm excited. What's a really popular, famous artist that all your friends listen to that you don't fuck with at all? Or what's a really popular artist that you only like one song of? I got one for the first one. I hate Rod Wave and Pop Smoke. You can't talk about the dead. Which makes a lot of sense.

Don't speak about the dead. Why? Take it back. Are they going to come back? Can I answer the question? God damn, Pop Smoke should have come back and popped me.

What was the first one? Okay, what's a really popular, like, what's, you know, something around that your friends like that you hate? Or, what's like, you know, like a famous artist

but you only like one song of theirs. Let's go with the first one. Everyone around me loves Big Crit. I don't even know if that's his name. Bruh. You're about to piss Walker off. My brain can't hit. It's too deep, bro.

I can't. You have to literally sit there. That's fair. You can't just vibe out listen to big crit because it's too many words too many stories too much real shit going on hey i really i just my i can respect that my personal brain cannot handle big crit some people don't want to listen to music but like you know chase cash come on now. I don't know. I've been on Big Crit. Big Crit's one of those people I'm like,

I've been a fan of him for a long ass time. Walker, do you have something that a lot of people listen to that you're like, I don't see it? Oh, absolutely. Because I don't really have one. I kind of try all music. Come on, hurt my feelings, Walker. That song I really like where it's like,

I'm on the stage right now. No, not that one. No, it's feelings, Walker That song I really like where it's like I'm on the stage right now No, it's like Rainy days Don't got no makeup on Yeah, that song Oh, yeah I'm on the stage Favorite song by the Two Seas Two Seas?

Yeah, I think that's Raleigh Zone? I don't think that's Come on, bro He from Raleigh Dude, what are you saying? It's a vibey song From your home city I think morgan wallen

is fucking terrible well you don't like country like at all unless like old country so that makes sense i don't know man i used to fuck with brad paisley that's old country take me on a ride on my big green tractor you probably would that was back when you were in your super conservative stage. Yeah, back in my Christian days. Back in my Episcopalian guilt stage. He probably liked Kelly Clarkson, all that type of shit. Oh, I mean, banger after banger. But you said an artist.

You were just saying a song. You just named a song. What about an artist that everybody likes that you don't really like? What do you mean? Is Morgan Wall? Oh, yeah, I guess you did name but he did say morgan long okay listening to morgan walk around you me aj and kenji mostly i guess that's fair um okay little morgy wally to fucking brighten up your day i like morgan wall personally. Is that controversial?

He did recently. Look, he's in deep shit. Yeah, he's in deep fucking shit. Yeah, because he canceled his show because apparently he got all fucked up the night before and lost his voice. At least he's not saying the N-word anymore. At least he's not saying the N-word anymore. Not only did he cancel his show. He had everyone come in and buy merch and sit in their seats and then cancel it like 30 minutes before.

That's kind of fucked. They had a big ass screen on the side of the stage that said, Morgan Wallen will not be performing. You will get refunded. At least it's not saying the N-word. I saw one girl on Twitter. 13K for tickets? Yeah.

No, no, no, no. She posted her whole itemized list of how much she spent. They went to like a confederate clothing store and dropped 700 and listed that as some one of the expenses they want refunded why why would you list that i feel like that's i mean it's a morgan wallen concert yeah i mean i guess in mississippi if somebody's gonna buy it was if somebody's gonna, they're not going to be too ashamed to post that they purchased it. Or wanted a refund for it, I guess. All I'm saying is.

To each his own, I guess. So, Austin, do you have a mainstream artist that I or your friends listen to that you don't really like? Not. I mean. Do you like Kanye, Austin? Oof. You can keep that. I mean, I like old Kanye.

I guess. I can't really think of somebody that I really don't like that you guys listen to. I don't know. Walker, you listen to a lot of like... I got another one. You listen to a lot of freaky, freaking random shit. So there's probably been some stuff that I'm like, all right, you can keep that. I know exactly the artist you're talking about, actually.

Who is it? Shout out Genevieve, or not Genevieve. Fucking A. I'll put it right here. Sorry. It'll be pulled up on the screen. No. That was that girl.

Her rapping sounds like it's all offbeat and none of her lines match up but like that's like just like the the music it's like let's be bad at music that's my style yeah it doesn't make sense you know in doses it doesn't for me oh yeah how do y'all feel about ice spice oh 100 i can't say i've really tapped in all that much. I like Ice Spice. She's hilarious. I've been on a little Glowrilla. Oh, yeah. I'm kind of sad Koi Larray isn't really relevant anymore. Koi Larray is kind of an oddball.

And Dej Loaf. Dej Loaf is... She's too busy selling feet pics to the alt-right again. Koi Larray tried to get too big too fast. Too big for her britches. Well, she had a song with Dirk. She was being mean about it. Not humble at all.

What acronym for Northeast Southwest were you taught when you were a kid? Never eat soggy. Why do you do that when you talk? Austin would be like, never eat soggy. Worms. that when you talk me austin be like never eat soggy worms it was waffles soggy waffles what's up i got soggy watermelon watermelon mine was worms we all got soggy worms yeah it was never eat or uh uh never eat soggy Wheaties or something, bro. What?

Wheaties? Yeah, bro. Nobody's saying Wheaties. Did you go to the General Mills High School or something? No, no, no. Comment down below what- These Wheaties from Battle Creek, that would make sense. Is that Kellogg?

Northeast, Southwest, Akron. Yeah, Kellogg has a factory in Jackson. In Battle Creek. In Battle Creek, the main Kellogg- No one has ever said that. He just made that up. No, I did not. 100% made it up. No, I did not. No, I did not. Oh, shit, like, Kellogg's. No one has ever said that. He just made that up. 100% made it up. No, I did not.

No, I did not. Oh, shit. No, I did not. Dude, I've heard them all. I've heard watermelons. I've heard soggy Wheaties. I've heard worms. I've heard waffles.

Nobody's saying Wheaties. Wheaties are soggy as soon as they touch the milk. I have never heard worms, first off. And I know there's another one I can't think of right now. Damn sure not Wheaties. I know there's another one I can't think of right now damn sure not Wheaties I know there's another one I can't think of right now and I want everyone to comment down below what you were learned or taught as a kid what you was learned I'm gonna learn y'all something real quick what did y'all learn as a kid who taught you that shit comment down below you ever heard never

ever smoke weed Oh Kenzie what the CC? I guess that works. That's fire. Is that what people are saying these days? Yeah. Oh, my God. Never ever smoke weed? This is going to be a very niche topic, but this is how I learned what the each string on a guitar was. So each string, I still can't do it without doing the acronym, so I might have to do it in my head real quick. E-A-D-G-B-E.

Every alcoholic drinks good beer early um my questionably alcoholic um family member taught me that so uh yeah that's how i learned that i could never remember the acronym for that that was just like brute memorization for me y'all i still don't know without doing the acronym in my head y Y'all seen that shit about Bud Light? No, no, no. The acronym? Mm-mm. It's like,

bitch, you don't like it, go home then. It's so fucking funny. That's kind of funny. Fuck country ass shit. It's fucking hilarious, bro. Oh my God. Twisted Tea

ain't in the news, though. Come on now. Fuck Twisted Tea. Y in the news though. Come on now. Fuck Twisted Tea. Y'all got anything you want to get off your chest? Real quick, it just came to me. AJ was thinking never eat shredded wheat. Never. No.

Never heard that. Are we on Little House on the Prairie or something? What the hell is shredded wheat? Boy, if you don't get your... Have four stations growing up on the TV with the bunny ears. Didn't we all? Yeah. My mom still got them bitches with the fucking...

With the tinfoil on the tip to try to get extra coverage. No, with the tinfoil taped on the TV. I just seen that shit a couple months ago. Or taped on the window. Walker, to answer your question, do I have anything to get off my chest? Thanks for remembering. Yeah, buddy. Of course. It's locked in up here. I don't know. Maybe. Probably.

I mean, knowing me, yes. But I don't know. Nothing off the top of your head? Nothing off the top of your head. No offense, but I'm going to move on. Alright, good. AJ? Anything to get off your chest? Anything to get off my chest? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. All you people out here

with the motherfucking receding hairlines, if you don't just shave your fucking goddamn head, bro. AJ, you say this all the time. And I will say it the rest of my fucking life. That's not off your chest, dude.

That's just something you say. That's been off your chest multiple times. Shave your fucking head, you bald bitch. You'll look better. I promise. Kenzie, anything to get off your chest? I think I'm good.

Walker? It sounds like you have something to get off your chest. It's one of those things I was answering hoping I would find an answer. One of those questions I was hoping to find an answer to by the end, but I just can't. So we got nothing to get off your bring back basic human decency like start using your turn signals pick up your litter like put your shopping shopping cart back can we put our time towards something

more like realistic and um nobody we're not bringing back decent human decent what these basic human yeah that word yeah basic human decency those words nobody's gonna start using their turn signal let's be real no i bro i it's like 50 50 for me now right if i've got a if i've got the space i'm gonna take it yeah like who needs a turn signal when you can fit yeah in fucking raleigh just go, there's no traffic laws in Raleigh, bro. I'm telling you. It's not like this everywhere else. Dude, the weirdest shit happened to me on my way home today.

There was a police officer in front of me, and I'm just like, I don't give a damn. I'm playing it cool. You auto-alegal. Yeah, I don't give a shit. So I pull up next to him. I ride the same exact speed limit next to him, just chilling with him. Like, we make eye contact. Like, it's a good vibe, whatever.

He's driving, like, below the speed limit, though, which was annoying as shit. And I wasn't staying with him. I wasn't going the speed limit. He was going to just go, because I was scared of getting pulled over. I was doing it to hang out with him. He looked lonely. Yeah. Because I was scared of getting pulled over, I was doing it to hang out with him. You looked lonely. Yeah. And so we eventually get on, like, Capitol Boulevard, which in this city is, like, a relatively busy road.

And I'm like, forget this. He's still going way too slow. Like, I'm just going to go, like, a little bit above the speed limit. So I end up getting, like, I would say, like, a quarter mile ahead of him. And then he speeds up super fast behind me flicks his lights on and I'm like oh shit I'm getting pulled over right now damn it and then he slows way down again turns his lights off and then just like does a u-turn I have no idea what the hell this dude was on but like I was like I'm'm 100% getting pulled over, and then he just left.

You think he was like, oh, this little fucker thinks he's going to get ahead of me? This little fucker. Turns his lights on, gets all the way up to you, and he's like, I can't really pull this guy over. Right, this little fucker's perfectly following the traffic laws. I'm going to scare the shit out of him just for fun. That guy was having a bad day and somehow got it together before giving you a yeah he looked like the type to have a bad day every day hey just imagine growing up and be like i want to be a fucking op like i just want to be let me be a snitch for the rest of my i want to

be a professional hall monitor right no do you want to okay i know i want to use and abuse the limited amount of power i have i know it's always laugh podcast right but can i just talk about something i saw today on the internet i guess man thanks man because it's not really like a laughing matter it's more of a serious matter there is a headline in the news that said this is back home in michigan or's not home anymore. I need to stop saying that. It's just back in Michigan. It said students, it was like a career day in high school. They were having an assembly with all these jobs were coming in and shit. They're like, the average person working a trade in Michigan makes $36,000 a year. And all these high schoolers were so geeked to learn a trade and make $36 36 grand a year. And all these high schoolers were like so geeked to like learn a trade and make 36 grand

a year. And in my head, I'm like, bro, like that's literally like poverty. They're setting people, they're setting younger generations up for failure by making them feel like 30 something K is a decent wage. It's just so fucked that I just like, I just sat there and I was just like, I just shook my head. I was just like, dude, what the fuck is life, bro head i was just like dude what the fuck is life bro not yeah no no uh no hate to anybody that does make that no happy and live their lives that's what i'm saying but i just was like oh my god like it's

not something to it's not like a huge goal to set in people's minds i guess i would say unless it really truly does make you happy i fully believe and do what makes you happy hey i mean you know it's better i i feel like that's a better path than hey go get 80 grand worth of debt and then get a job i just i just got stressed out because like it was in the news and that was the headline i'm like oh my god like that just looks so crazy like bro it is kind of it's like $2,500 a month like it's it would be hard to operate in this world on that salary our last guest

just said his monthly rent was $2,500 welcome back to talking with walk I'm your host walk I have one remaining grandparent that is my grandmother her name is Ellie she She lives in Charlotte. She's 93 years old.

Still healthy as a whistle. She's pretty much the only, I think she's 94 actually. She's the only 94-year-old I know that doesn't take any medicine. But we actually talked today. You know, we like to talk like every two weeks or so. And she was telling me about this new fitness routine they've got her doing. She loved martial arts, and she's actually the one that got me into that. Now, you know, her knees are a little weak.

She doesn't do much wrestling anymore. But man, you should see her box. Shut the fuck up, Walker. That joke just went completely over AJ's head. Nah. You know about talking about Granny's box like that.

What? She's mean in the ring She's got that left-right hook combo You're disgusting Dude, he's talking about boxing You sick bitch Yeah, she's doing like the cardio Like the martial arts cardio

You were just thinking about some nasty shit I wasn't keeping up, my fault AJ sits in silence for 30 seconds on the pod oh dude I completely I got nothing no I'm so sorry but I like literally zone out I heard granny and miss Ellie and some other shit Walker I feel like that went perfectly your segment was perfect you actually have people willing to boycott if you if you stop doing it like oh he's not allowed to do it because it was me me yanking the mic out of walker's face uh two pods ago this guy was fucking feeling himself that pod what are you oh yeah no we're not gonna we don't have to go into it but yeah

somebody commented they're like if walker doesn't get a segment then i'm not gonna listen it's like damn shout out literally shout out thank you my god last time i pulled a mic from you you learned your lesson i'm starting to wonder am i even in frame i just looked at the dude i have no idea i'll be honest when i set this shit up i'm already a little bit um whatever and you're what fun fact of the day guys lemon juice is more effective than lime juice for curing scurvy next topic kenzie aj what you got my wonderful soon-to-be wife came up with a wild theory that's just that's just some thoughts lay it on on us, Kenzie. None of it potentially is true. Can I tell it for you?

Sure. Okay. Well, the other day, this is something that's just a theory, right? It's not true. It's no science behind it, no nothing. Just a thought. I don't know. I think I might believe it.

She said the way to cure cancer cancer or like to like not get cancer essentially it's just to there's no like set time on this right but it's just like you have to consistently switch up everything in your daily like life right so like where you live the products you use what you do on like a day that you have to can you have to switch it up every couple years because apparently cancer is... To get cancer is through repetition of using the same...

Doing and using the same shit over and over again, right? Yeah, I'm following you, so you're telling me your wife has the cure to cancer. She potentially thinks she does. I found the title for this podcast. We found the cure to cancer? She potentially thinks she does. I found the title for this podcast. We found the cure to cancer. That's fire.

I'm pretty sure I did cure cancer. Most cancers, not all. Prostate, she doesn't have any experience, so she wouldn't know how to deal with that. Oh, no, buddy. Come on, AJ. AJ comes to me the other day. He's like, you ever had a finger in your ass?

Oh, yeah. What kind of question is that? I mean, yeah, but what? Oh, we're talking about at the doctor? AJ's 28 and he's already had a prostate exam. For sure. I told him to do it. I'm like, yo.

He was like, I'm ready for this he's like listen doc slip two and if you if you're a little frisky bitch when they told me to throw that leg over the other one uh hey i didn't even know what to do bro but look though most prostate cancers what would the doctor do when you start moaning i wasn't this is going way too far the other way this is not right but look my wife cured that shit you just have to switch up like every couple years like where you live the water you drink or like what deodorant you use or like whatever switch that shit up to a different brand or yeah we give good medical advice on this podcast. This is not medical advice. No. I would listen to us

for sure. I honestly think they're... I mean... I got my PA's... Keep watching for more tips on how to avoid cancer. They're like, stop drinking twisted teas every podcast. Like, switch it up, boys. For sure. We're gonna get twisted cancer. It's fucked. These guys at work,

I was digging holes the other day, and they're like, you got your PhD. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And they said something like, your post-hole digging degree. And I was like, oh shit! These motherfuckers. They give you

a piece of paper that's just covered in dirt. I couldn't believe it. Some of this shit gets covered in dirt. I couldn't believe it. Some of this shit gets sold to me. I don't even know. Give us some highlights. On the daily. Oh, no, no, no. There's no highlights.

Dude, AJ's brought up his coworkers a couple times. I worked with them. They're a hoot and a half. Let me tell you, buddy. They're a hoot and a holler. You guys have any things you want to say before we wrap it up today? I want to say, I'm going to say this all the time and you guys are probably gonna get tired of me saying

that, but I just want to thank everyone that is supporting that literally like knows me and shit that knows these guys. Like, bro, that shit fires us up, man. Like I,

whenever someone like sends me some, some kind words kind words or some encouragement or just some shit, I get too motivated. AJ is like a little kid when it comes to... I mean, we all are, but you should see AJ's face light up when some positivity comes his way. It's very cute. They smile at the hate comments too, though. Yeah, keep them coming because I love that shit. Fuck you. You're in your mom's basement. AJ lets it get to him

sometimes but AJ got pushed over the edge the other day. Go outside and touch some grass. Walker, you got anything of? Any final words? I think I left it all out there all right but good good good um well thanks for listening to another episode of always laugh

podcast we appreciate you guys we love you guys and uh my name is austin lane my name is aj you know it's the motherfucking gang in this bitch sorry walker it's the third to last time i'm doing this love you i feel like it's not stealing my bit if you don't third to last time I'm doing this. Love you. I feel like it's not stealing my bit if you don't say your last name. I'm Walker. We out. Love you, everyone.