Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #20 - None Of Us Could Get a Prom Date

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

This episode we talk about which life stats we would like to know, blow jobs vs blow hobbies, car troubles, and having a local booster. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww MERCH - Coming Soon! Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj i'm walker servant cunts since 97 smith hell yeah brother this is the number one podcast you've never heard of grab your smoke grab your bed grab your vaporoni grab the zinachinos the morgan walsons the whatever you want to do and and let's get it rocking. If you ain't laughing, you ain't living. Dude, our podcast intro has gotten long as fuck. This podcast is sponsored by doing the too small celebration to the cop after you beat the DUI allegations. That's going to be my new thing on the intro.

Is that like a thing that's in the media right now? Did somebody do that? I think so. That's hilarious. What's the too small celebration? To the cops. Like they beat the tree wide. After he blew like a 0.00.

He's like, oh. He almost had me, bud. You guys might wonder, if you're watching on YouTube, you might wonder our new setup, man. We finally got a studio. We're in the new stew. It's an insane asylum. That's why we got the bare walls.

We got the white walls. You might tell by the audio quality as well. It sounds like dog shit. Just kidding. I'm kidding. It's always a good thing to put in the ether about our podcast. We're at my house, man. We're at AJ's house.

We didn't get a studio. We're still broke. Kenzie made a lovely dinner of chicken alfredo pasta. It was good. So yeah, I kind of had to beg and plead to do one episode

at my house because this is episode 20, guys. It's a big thing. We made it. we made it uh yeah we all agreed that we would uh do one episode at kenzie and aj's house every 20 episodes so we'll see you on episode 40 can i can i hit y'all with something i saw on twitter today sure man of course let me credit no walker you can't that's a rhetorical question yeah but i don't have the same restrictions you do bud. That's fair. Sorry.

This is from Mia Walsh. I want to hear y'all's opinion. Wait well who the fuck is Mia Walsh? I don't know some girl on Twitter I just wanted to credit her. Is it at Mia Walsh? Yes. I respect that.

It's only a blowjob if you're a sex worker. If you're not, it's a blow hobby. Shut up. What do you think about that? Yeah. I think it's kind of neat. A blow hobby, yeah.

It's kind of like my fucking LLC. Bitch is considered a hobby now. I'm just going to dissolve it. Can I get out? Yo, you trying to come over and give me a blow hobby yeah it doesn't really roll it doesn't roll off the tongue a b although i don't know if that line of questioning would work anyway but that's what every girl loves to hear hey you want to come give me a blow job oh that sounds awesome yeah i'm on my way i'm in that's what you guys are

that's what the kids are saying nowadays? Bro, when my little sister was in high school, she was like... Oh my God, where the fuck is this going? She was over 18 in high school. And shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She got held back a couple years. She would tell me about all the shit that was going down. The high school gossip?

Mostly her. Mostly revolving around her. God damn it. And she was like, yeah, guys don't even want to have sex. All they want is for girls to suck their dicks. They just want top. Same for adults, bud. I guess it's like in today's TikTok age,

I think it's like a braggadocious thing. A braggadocious thing. A braggadocious thing. AJ, that was pretty funny. The culture, man. We just want top, bro. We want head. I want top. I don't want to kiss.

No sex, bitch. I only want the neck, bitch. Keef said it best, man. Who? Keef. Chief Keef. Salsa, baby. Salsa, baby.

Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa, baby. Salsa, baby. Salsa. I don't know what to say. That's fire right there. So, look. So, I'm just going to get straight into it. I had an interview yesterday. Oh, yeah?

You're getting a J-O-B? I had an interview yesterday. The pod's not paying well enough? No. I think I want to get back into the working force But I obviously haven't gotten hired yet And Kenzie asked me She was like So what are the next steps

Did he say he was going to call you What did he say And I'm like That's a good question actually We kind of just like Left We'll see how the drug test goes I'm good on the drug test goes. No.

Oh, yeah. I'm good on the drug test. But the thing is, okay, listen. Kenzie's like, how'd it go? It went great. What did he say? I don't remember. Can't remember.

But it was one of those things where he's like, all right, like, I have the next person I'm interviewing, like, coming. Like, all right, I'm going to fuck with you. He's like, all right, I'm going to fuck with you. Dab me up or whatever. You weren't the last face he saw. You're fucked. Fuck no. Fuck no. You're fucked. all right i'm a fucking he's like all right i'm gonna fuck with you that me up whatever you weren't the last face he saw you're fucked no fuck no um but we were just talking about job interviews and um job interviews are such a weird thing like you have to literally like go in that job interview and like essentially give them a fucking blow hobby like you have to like go in there and just literally say like what they want to hear

it's such a fucking bullshit like to sell yourself it's so stupid like bro you can't just walk in there just like bro like let's be real here i'm fucking capable of doing this shit like come on like you see the resume i fucking lied on everything on there, bud. Come on. For me, it's like... If he ever sees the podcast, you're fucked. Don't care. I haven't said where at. For me, it's like, why do you want to work here? Oh, you know, I'm just really passionate about making and producing smoothies. And, you know, just making smoothies for people like that.

That's something that really resonates with me. The core values. The core values of Smoothie King that I saw. No, I'm here for minimum wage. I'm like, yeah. Right. with me the core values the core values of smoothie king that i saw right i i like your core values and your mission statement i align with those very well what do you think you'll bring to the table i think i can wash a dish like nobody's fucking business i can spray out a blender like you wouldn't believe but i can work that sink i'll fucking say hi to everyone that walks in. Hi. Hi.

Hi. How are you? How high are you? Ha ha ha. Ha ha. I'd be fucking stoned. If I worked at Smoothie King, I'd be fucking stoned. You want that pomegranate acai bucket?

Bucket. Bowl or some shit. We buckets for just for you bud i'm done this is a shit show i want to talk about i've been thinking about like small like stupid things that make me laugh like what's like a small like i'll got an example if someone in a country accent says joe byron i laugh every time i don't care what comes before or after that's fucking hilarious to me you have anything just like little small things that make you laugh uh y'all both are you know aj say what you said this morning that made me laugh that was so stupid you're oh yeah yeah kenzie says something like they started with like an m or some shit what what'd you say you were talking on the cat oh i was we were talking to the cat my cat's

legal name is molly but i call her uh momo molly moo moo uh monkey butt or anything along those lines and i was like i was like maybach music so uh that's something that makes you laugh uh regularly yeah walker i don't fucking know i was really trying hard that whole time to come up with something. I just can't come up with anything right now. Y'all both laugh every time someone says, see ya. See ya. See ya.

Whenever me and Austin play Rocket League, which is about every day, I've started recently really going in on myself whenever I make a mistake, and he laughs every time. Oh, that shit is so funny. He's like, I fucking suck. And Walker's clearly the best Rocket League player I know. He's like, I fucking suck. I fucking hate myself.

I suck. I'm like, you deserve a better teammate. Like, I literally don't. How many nights a week do you think you guys have played Rocket League in a streak? Well, you've got to take out the nights a week that somebody wasn't in town. No, I'm saying, like, if you guys are home, if you guys are both together in the same house, how many, what's your longest streak you think you've went? Like, 50 days.

Infinity. Yeah, like, fucking all of them. How many days have we lived in the house? That many days. That's one of our little bonding activities. We play a lot of fucking rock and roll. Like, we're pretty nerdy. That's pretty sick. It's pretty sick.

It is pretty sick. That's the one thing, I don't know, there's just something about me that I really want to play video games. I like the idea of playing video games. I just literally can't. I just can't. I think it's called ADHD, buddy.

There's a hundred fucking billion people. We got some amphetamines that'll fix that real quick. There's a bunch of... You need a poppin' addy. He'll lock in. There's a bunch of people out there that have ADHD that play video games. You can't tell me I'm the only one that has ADHD. Are they prescribed Adderall?

I don't know. Not every fucking... I don't have ADHD, bro. And they're RLCS, bro. It took you a long time to deny that. I don't have ADHD. Okay. You they're RLCS, bro. It took you a long time to deny that. I don't have ADHD. Okay. You are full of shit.

I'm sorry. I've had a conversation with you. What? I know. And Walker is clearly licensed to diagnose. Exactly. So I need to go to the doctor then? No.

No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. Walker's pro doc. Pro prescription. AJ, never change. Hey, hey, hey. All right, let's get to the meat.

I tasked everyone with creating a list of your top five rappers right now. Fuck. And we're all going to say our list and then vote in the comments who's your favorite. We're going to start with Kenzie. Kenzie. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I didn't make a list. You said top five rappers currently right now that still make music.

No, top five that you listen to right now. Yeah, that you listen to right now. Not just top five in general. Yeah, they could be dead. Okay. I meant like they're like current rappers that you're listening to. So I can't say Juice WRLD. I've been listening to a lot of Juice WRLD lately.

Well, I guess you can say that. Okay, well, that's one of mine. And I will say that we have agreed to just like count out the obvious ones, like the Drakes, the Futures, and the Lil' Babies. Those are obviously in everyone's playlist if you listen to rap. Lil' Baby is my favorite right now, but I'm not allowed to say that. So those are clearly. So strike that from the record.

All right, let's hear our list. AJ, you go first. Oh, shit. All right. Oh, shit. In no particular. We're doing no order or like. Five to one.

So five being the least, one being the most? Yeah. Okay. Number five, Shorty Shorty. All right. Number four, 4-2 Doug. Fire. That's not a bad option, buddy.

Number three. Chase Cash. Cool. Number two. No cap. Number one. Baby Charm. So if you're from Michigan and you recognize any of those,

vote for aj down below in the comments only one only one my top i i also have a top five jackson if you want to hear that no thank you austin um i don't really i didn't really come with an order but i guess i would say right now uh five juice world four polo g three lil wayne two two i listen to lil wayne every single day of my life i swear on my life sorry sorry you can laugh if you want i listen to lil wayne every single day uh two j cole and one nba young boy i've been listening to he's a yb i've been listening to so much nba young fan I've been listening to so much NBA Youngboy Big YouTuber

That's fire Alright I do have an honorable mention Just cause I had to leave him on my list My honorable mention is Larry June Alright my five is Danny Brown Four is Freddie Gibbs Three is JID Two is Meg The Stallion

And one is Smino. Smino. I think Beth and Marco know who that is. I know who that is. Hell yeah. And it's similar to J.I.D. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Love for Rent. Hell yeah. So, yeah. Vote for Love. None of us had the same answers on our list. That's fire.

Honestly. That's very interesting. We got a broad music range. Kenzie, what's yours? Kenzie missed the assignment. Come on. On the fly, I'm going to say five, a boogie with the hoodie. Yeah.

Four, peasy. Yep. Three, scory. Ooh. That's a good answer. Two. I had scory on mine, but I deleted him. Two, 4-2-Doug, and one Shorty Shorty.

So AJ and I have a little bit of overlap, but that makes sense. That makes sense. You guys live together. And we're lovers and friends. Hell yeah. That's nice. Oh, hell yeah. Can I just say my Jackson Top Five real quick?

No. Come on, dude. They deserve love, bro. Nobody cares about them. A lot of our fucking listeners are from fucking the Jack, bro. five real quick just come on dude they deserve a rhetorical question they deserve nobody cares about them a lot of our fucking listeners are from fucking the jack bro all right let's hear shout out jackson say their names sam hurry all right this is i'm gonna say them in no order this is no order my jackson top five uh people that i listen to chase cash atm sud poncho 463 osama fom low you seen uh d low yeah i like d low he's good yep that's my top five sorry waylon no order no order he waylon's not from

jackson bro all right all right my bad if i was doing like ypsilanti and ann arbor shit that'd be up there you know know? I had to say it. That was a really good question, like, segment, Walker. Thanks, dude. It really had me thinking.

I had to get on, like, the whole notepad and everything, like, windows, accessories, notepad, and I had to do

a separate, like, word doc to, like, separate the two. It was a lot. Yeah, I, uh, so Danny Brown just released an album with jpeg mafia

called scaring the hose and it's an album that was like taylor made for me and taylor made not for austin like it's just like a shit show the entire time like there's constant beat switches there's like just off rhythm instruments coming in and out and i tried to play it for austin and we made it like a song and a half and i switched it out he was like what what happened dude and i was like i just don't think it was the vibe you got self-conscious oh big time dude walker one of my favorite things about you is that you will like unapolog unapologetically um say something that like it's not the way that you say it makes it sound like everybody should know what you're talking about but like most of the time nobody has any fucking idea what you're talking like

you'll like talk about artists or just like things that are going on and i'm like dude what the fuck are you talking about and you're like oh uh blah blah blah i'm like okay like who i don't know just like like the whole thing that you just said. I recognize Larry June. I've heard people talk about Larry June. I used to listen to Danny Brown in 2013. He's still around. He's got such a unique voice. It's awesome. Who's an up-and-comer on your list, AJ?

An up-and-comer that I just named off or that I didn't name? An up-and-comer... Without looking at your list. i gotta refer back to it bro i just said 10 people only the only the five that matter an up-and-comer i would say fucking no cap honestly like no caps extremely popular but like how do you guys even know who no cap is no okay well do you know who rilo rodriguez is no god damn it his his mute no caps music is like it's like uh i don't know how to explain it it's rap but it's like uh

like he's telling it's like a melody like he's telling like us you just have to hear it bro but no cap would be the the most up and coming or baby tron mean, baby Tron is known to be one of the most underground people, but he's pretty mainstream now. I mean, have you guys heard of D baby? D baby? Yeah. I've heard of him once.

Have you heard of BLP kosher? No. Hey, Jay, I want to know how you find your fucking artists because you will constantly talk about artists that nobody else will talk about that just trolls the like those those the soundcloud archives dude i love some soundcloud yeet yeet clearly is in my top five but i didn't put them down because everyone's gonna hate

yeet's number one you know play some yeet shit's fire no uh i will say that the jid that that song called stick will make you want to put your head through a fucking wall yeah j cole snapped on there a bunch of people on it actually um j cole does hit different though in north carolina i will say that just today today, actually, I sent in a group message. I'm like, Alexa, play Love Yours by J. Cole because that song, I woke up playing that song, and it really will make you feel appreciative for the shit you have. Like, bro, that shit really is fire.

And it hits different when you're in North Carolina. He's from Raleigh, you know? No, he's not. He's from Fayetteville, but close enough. Same shit. Yeah, he lived in Raleigh. I thought but close enough same shit yeah he lived in I thought you were trying to like see if I was a fan or not so sorry apparently I'm not a fan I thought you were trying to like fuck me up have you guys ever thought about like this is something I've thought about a ton have you guys ever thought about having like

life stats like you could just like type into your little search bar in your head how many times have i uh caught a football kid is there any way i can interrupt this conversation god damn i remember all right kenzie's out of the room so we can do this all right we're gonna we're gonna go around the room and you're going to say your thing and then we're just going to move on. Okay. What is the worst thing you can say to a girl when you're about to come? AJ go.

Fucking. You're so beautiful. Austin. I don't know if this is the worst, but I've done it a lot of times, and I didn't mean it. I love you. I'm about to blow.

I don't know. I got one. I got one. My cock is so hard. Jesus Christ. AJ. If you use the word cog, what? How close can you go to an elementary school, to be honest?

Dude, if you use the word cog, you're a criminal. All right. Austin, if we had life stats and say, like, how many times I caught a football? Yeah, like, what would be your guys' top two life stats that you would want to know if you could look up any life statistic? Like, how many blades of grass you cut last week or, you know, shit, like random ass shit, anything. Mine would be years taken off my life. Ooh, that's a good one.

Like how many self-inflicted. Yeah, self-inflicted like years off my life. And my second would be how long I've pooped. Like how many feet of poop or how many minutes you've been on the shitter. End to end. That's pretty funny. AJ, you want to know any of your life stats? Yeah, I don't.

Mine would be more like a highlight reel of all the dope-ass moments that nobody was around to see, or even if they were around to see it, that I wish I just had, like, I wish I had a highlight tape of the craziest shit I've ever done, like just, like, the random one-handed catches that were just, like, shouldn't have ever happened. You're big on the football stats. It's not football, buddy. I wasn big on the football stats. Not football buddy.

I wasn't even thinking about football. When I said that. I. I. I'd like to know just like. Like life stats. Like how many beers I've drank in life. See that's.

Oh that's. That's probably my number one. I want to know how many. Or no like. Or how much money. I've spent on alcohol. Or like. Nah.

Fuck that. Who cares. Nah. I want to know the number bro. But like. I don't know. I'm more of like a. Like a. Like I? I don't know the number, bro. But like, I don't know. I'm more of like a like a. I'd like to know the beers. Yeah, I think.

How many grams of weed have I smoked? Oh, yeah, dude. For me, not in Lansing and in general. How many grams do we smoke in Lansing, Michigan? I would want to know how many beers I've drank in the L. Because it's a number that you guys would all be sad to see i would like to compare all of our alcohol consumptions in the room and i bet mine's at the top austin asked me austin austin asked me a funny question the other

day he's like or not the other day this is probably a couple months ago he was like uh is this the most you've ever drank like in your life because i'm like i'm what four years older than you yeah so i got four years on this man that means i was fucking he was in the fucking womb and i was fucking walking and everywhere and talking shit and everything else like the first beer you ever drank, I was four years out from having my first sip. I mean, but you probably drank way younger than I did. I didn't even drink until my junior year. I didn't drink until I was out of high school. Really?

I didn't drink until college. Well, fucking soft. Summer between. Austin was a straight edge. What? Buddy? Bo, in high school, I was a very straight. Did you just call me Bo?

I said bro. It came out as Bo. Bo, chill high school, I was a very straight. Did you just call me Bo? I said bro. It came out as Bo. Bo, chill out. Bo. Hey, we're out on the sticks right now. Bubbaloo, chill out. I got to tap into my inner country. So you mean to tell me you didn't drink after an event, a football game?

I never went to prom. You didn't go to prom? It's a whole different story. On a gang? Fuck these bitches, dog. But no, a football game. I never went to prom. You didn't go to prom. It's a whole different story. Me neither. Own a gang. Fuck these bitches. But no, I didn't. Me neither.

What? Fucking A. No prom. I didn't. I got drunk one time. That was because I was a fat loser, though. Come on. Did you guys go to a snowball or snow fest or something like that?

It's okay. Yeah, I went to Winterfest and Homecoming. No, no. It was called Winterfest. See above answer for why. What? AJ. Fat loser again.

I didn't get, I got drunk one time when I was 15, and then I didn't drink again until summer between high school and college. I was a straight edge boy. So that means like, yeah. So maybe you have drank more than me. But no, he just was like, is this the most you've drank? And I'm like, right now? Yes, because I've never had like a best friend that I see actively like every, almost every

other day. And yeah. That's exciting. Did you guys just hear that my best friends well walker's more like on the you know on the um well i don't like where this is going yeah that sounded that sounded not nice at all i'm saying like like uh it's like a and b equals c type shit so so you're on you're on the drink walker's clearly doing hard drugs and i'm he's clearly doing heroin this is a joke everyone he's not doing hard drugs and i don't drink aj just pee pop so hard uh my headphones got fixed so thank you good shit pee popped dude guys we're all over the fucking place right now i don't think we're making any

goddamn sense i mean any freaking sense we're at my house i don't know it's throwing me off jesus um yeah i went to aj and i said do you think you ever do you think i've drank more than you and you've been four years you're four years older than me? And he's like, yeah, you've probably still drank more than me. And I also asked him if this was like the time period in his life that he drank the most. And he said, yeah, for fucking sure. 100% buddy. I was a weed smoker before you. I was actually talking about this with Walker last night.

Why do I have the urge to fucking drink? And, like, Walker doesn't really have, like, the urge. Like, I can talk him into it. Or, like, he'll once in a while be like, let's get drunk. But I'm always like, if somebody says you're trying to drink, like, I'll have to, like, fucking leave immediately. Or I will. Like, there's no fucking stopping it. I'm an alcoholic, I think.

No, I'm not. I'm not an alcoholic. As I said to you yesterday, it's just your brain has decided that's your dopamine. That's what really gets you going. Why doesn't everybody else love it? I heard this man say he was being funny when he said it, but he's like, I don't want to say

I need alcohol to have a good time, but dude, when you're fucking drinking, dude alcohol to have a good time but like dude like when you're fucking drinking dude he's like we have a good fucking time it's like it never it has never let me down a single time in my life I'll tell you that funny as fuck yeah I'd like to know how long my fucking organs can withstand this shit that's a stat I want to know I'll let you know when i get there fucking a fucking a you gotta switch it up remember cancer yeah that's why i drink twisted tea sometimes and i drink tequila other times and i drink beer other times good luck i was primarily beer though you gotta switch you gotta change up those ratios that's true i was gonna tell you guys a story um but i got sidetracked kind of

with the whole interview thing um like how i had my interview recently and it really brought back some fucking met some bad and funny memories that like based on like because i've only had like all right how many interviews do you think you guys have had in your life zero three you got three for sure like that's your your total number I've never had a job interview. I think I've had, like, fucking probably ten. Ten or more for sure. I had a mock interview for college. Does that count?

No. You've had zero for real? You've never went in for an interview? Correct. You're about to piss me off. I got a job at Jet's Pizza, and that was just like, yeah, come work. You didn't have that interview? Come to work.

And I, yeah, no. at jet's pizza and that was just like yeah come work come to work and i yeah no but um i've never had a job ever since there was there was this one interview oh that's not true i had one but i'll let you continue there was this one interview at uh this place called brembo it was a shop um out there in the middle of fucking nowhere back in michigan and this is back when i had this jeep there i did the fucking austin i fucking just burped mid-story so this is when i had the jeep that i only would drive this jeep like 20 miles or less like if it was 20 miles or less i'll pull up like if it was more than 20 miles i mean like i could make it like, if this bitch breaks down, I don't have enough money to fix it. So, like, I just won't do it type shit.

Like, I can't. Like, it would have made it, but I just, like. Shitbox territory. Oh, 100. No, not territory. It was a shitbox. So, I'm saying, like, it would go wherever, but, like, it was pushing it. Like, you might come out

it might not start type so long story short i get that i get an interview at this place called brembo it's like 30 minutes away but like it paid really well so i was like hell yeah like yeah i'll fucking drive the jeep out there like this is worth the risk like it's not like you drive into like go like hang out with somebody or whatever right right risk reward yeah it's worth the risk interview might get the job i drive out there normally like you know interview like you pull up 10 minutes early right like you know get there 10 minutes early whatever make sure you can park i'm in a fucking shirt and tie you know nice clothes so i pull up i walk inside i'm like hey i'm here for the interview they're like oh like oh, like, you know, like, no, like, you're good, but, like, you're in the wrong building, like, the other building's just, like, it's in the same parking lot, it's just, like, way over

there, like, you just drive over there, you're good, right, I'm like, oh, like, no worries, like, so I'm like, alright, in my head, I'm like, alright, damn, I had ten minutes, now I got eight minutes, like, I better hurry the fuck up, so I run out to my car to get ready to drive over to the other building i go out of my car i'm like bitch won't start it's silent so i'm like oh fuck i'm like fuck man fucking i pop the hood quick as hell boom fucking thing opens up. I'm digging in there. I know exactly where the hood latch is. If you know exactly where the hood latch is, you're either a fucking mechanic or you're used to your shit breaking down.

I knew where my shit was. Popped it open. During that time, I'm reaching in there. My hands are getting all black and greasy and just black with dust on them and shit. Not clean hands no more. Real quick. Yes. How can you tell when a mechanic's had sex?

I don't know if they're lubed up or shit. They have one clean finger. Keep going. Okay. So, look. I pop it open. I'm like, there ain't nothing i can do but just wiggle the cord from my battery and shit i'm over here like they should get her going trying to finagle some shit

trying to get the cords fucking by that time my hands are really black i got i mean fucking my sleeves are rolled up a little bit i got a fucking shirt and tie on i wear a tie clip you know bro you're wasting time it was in the same parking lot you should have fucking it was too like too far to run bro like i'm not about to run so i like i hit the cloudy with the chance of meatballs should have hit the baby i got out and like i knew i allocated like a couple minutes to try to get my shit working and and then I was going to run. I was like, let me at least try. Then I ran.

I fucking – then I ran. I opened the door. I'm breathing hard. Do you guys have a bathroom? My fucking hands are black. Do you guys have a bathroom? She's got it right over there. I wash my hands off.

No big deal. I come out. I'm like two minutes early at this point. Like, I'm fucking, like, I'm, you can see I'm flustered because I'm fucking, I'm panicking. I just ran here. You're dripping sweat. I'm in a fucking shirt and tie. My hands are freshly washed with the shitty bathroom soap.

The dial, whatever the fuck. The orange fucking dial. It's over with. So, look, I'm thinking I'm about to go sit down in front of someone, right, like a normal fucking interview. This lady hands me a fucking packet, and it's a test. She's like, all right, sit over there and do this test, and then give it back to me when you're done.

I'm like, all right, cool, no problem. I'm a smart guy, I like i'm a like i know i have common sense i got i guess you could say like i'm like all right like this is an entry-level job i'm like how hard could it fucking be it's at a shop i've worked in the shop before keep in mind i'm like okay no problem i opened this fucking test it's all like cnc machine questions like how did what is this what is that how do you fix this i've never ran a fucking cnc airbnb i don't fucking know machine in my fucking life dude i fucking didn't know i didn't know not one it was like a 30 question test i didn't know one i gave it back to her i said yeah i failed i'm like this i didn't i'm like i failed i fucked up and so now i'm like fucking great dude like all that shit happened

with my jeep i come here completely the interview, like zero out of 30. And then I'm like, fucking great. My fucking car still isn't starting. Like, I have to go out to my car not starting. So I walk out. I'm just, like, dragging my feet. Like, fuck me, dude. I already had no money.

Hence why I'm trying to get a job. No money. Had to call a tow truck. I'm in 30 minutes in the country. Can you come tow me? Yeah, all right, cool. It's like $100. Dude tows me back to the spot.

He's like, hey, man, like, I know this sounds crazy, but, like, since we hooked it up and, like, drove it here and shit, like, might have rattled some shit around. Go ahead and try to start it. I'm like, fuck you, dude. Like, all right, yeah, I'll try to start it i'm like fuck you dude like all right yeah i'll try to start it bitch ain't fucking started what are you talking about why'd i call you why get in the fucking jeep and it started right up first try had you had he already got you your money by then oh yeah oh hell yeah that's fucking he's

i'm he dropped me i'm on the ground so you, you got to pay him in order for them to drop you. Right. He dropped me on the ground. He gives me the keys. Go ahead and try to start it, Bob. Oh, fuck you, asshole. So, I start that bitch. It starts first fucking try, dude.

I was happy, but I was also so sick. I was like, dude, no. You were like, great. I was so happy it started but i was just like bro like what a day from hell bro how much longer that car last you oh like three years dude i fucking did it ever not start again uh no it's good it was good ever so after that i did go get one of those uh like i i had my i had my buddy uh a local booster, steal me one of them car. One of them self-charging car jumpstart kit things.

They're like $100. A local booster. Oh, yeah. Car heart. Anything from Meyer. Car heart fucking them booster things. I'll see if I can fit you in the schedule. Oh, dude.

Shout out to booster, bro. Do people still boost? It wasn't my dad. No. I was literally podcast sponsored by booster.com is there for the record somebody will steal anything my first thought are there still boosters out here i haven't ran into a booster in a minute but um my dad chill out why you go air them out like that you ain't shit all right But yeah, that was my interview from fucking hell, bro. Like, I didn't get the job.

Bombed it. That shit happened. And then the fucking bitch ended up working. So I was happy after that. I was continuing my day. But we're just going to. So you didn't get the job? Fuck no, buddy.

I literally didn't get one question right for that entry level Brembo job. And they do breaks, bro. And he didn't know Beth at the time time but you were two minutes from her house ain't that some shit i should have called shirley that's not her name i don't i don't best mom sherry oh fuck dude you're a dick okay my fault my fault my fault god damn it, my fault. God damn it. Beth is going to be pissed. No, she's not. Yeah, she is.

She's going to have your ass. You know she watches everyone, buddy. Would you guys rather have like a Whole Foods Socks and Sandals dad or a Fox News mom? Oh, that's a tough ass question. Socks and Sandals dad? Yeah. Is this like Tommy Lauren? Because the Fox News mom is going to fucking...

I was thinking more like hippie. I'm talking about the girl. No, the girl's like a crazy Fox News mom. She's going to go to bed mad every night. Oh, are we talking about like the... Okay, I'm under the wrong impression. I thought you were saying like a Fox News like, a Fox News, like, anchor, like the ladies that be on there that are, like, pro-like.

No, like your mom is watching Fox News to go to sleep. Oh. I don't fucking know. Probably the dad. No, I don't know because, wait, wait, were you a hippie dad? Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah, a hippie dad or a fucking bitch Or a fucking idiot. Bitch-ass mom.

The hippie dad, bro. It don't matter. Men in their 40s have the most trash sandals I've ever seen. Like, what are y'all doing? They don't know. AJ and I are probably biased. Nor that they don't care. Because we didn't really have great daddy figures.

So we're like, we'll just take the dad option. Bro. We should try that out. What's the worst that happens? You have two parents in the home? Jesus Christ. We would love to give that a shot. That shit honestly sounds ass.

That shit sounds ass, bro. You have any more questions, Walker? Yeah. Keep the dad questions coming. No. No, I don't. Fuck you you jimmy walked out on your son fucking bitch ass op i'll smoke it on that jimmy pack fuck you talking about all right i went too far my fault on again okay that was you you asked a great question i like

that welcome back to talking with walk um aj yes you love riddles don't you you love complex wordplay and uh ingenuity and thinking hard right i love all that architectural ass shit perfect all right well i have a riddle for you all this week okay i have a back but i am not a camel you can sit on me but i am not a camel. You can sit on me, but I am not a horse. Sometimes I have arms, but I never have hands. What am I? A piece of straw. AJ says a piece of straw, which is just like the worst answer I've ever heard. Well, the whole time you were describing it, like... Ah, fuck.

Can you re-say it? Yeah, can you read it one more time? I have a back, but I am not a camel. You can sit on me, but I am not a horse. Sometimes I have arms, but I never have hands. What am I? A chair? Kenji?

I think I was going to say chair, too, but what was the middle one but i'm not a horse yeah i think it's a chair it's a uh quadruple amputee god damn it walker that was a setup thank you for coming back to talk with walk this is bullshit my answer i was thinking like my answer works i was. This is bullshit. My answer is that. My answer works. I was thinking, what is that saying? The straw that broke the camel's back or some shit like that? Yeah, that is a great reason to give that response. AJ was playing word association. Kenzie just said wrong game.

With no mic I'm sorry You know how she gets down She's no mic'd up My fiance needs four tall boys To have a fucking good night Boys I'm really sorry I'm gonna go pee real quick

Hit it bud So it's just me and you buddy What do you wanna talk about I don't know dude We can just me and you, buddy. What do you want to talk about? I don't know, dude. We can get fucking, we can get deep. We can keep it shallow. What do you want to do? I want to know how in the flying fuck do you have a mechanical engineering degree?

Dude, I ask myself that all the fucking time. Oh, my God. It's like my biggest flex. Like, what did you go to school for? Mechanical engineering. Like, when a girl asks me, I'm super excited to tell a girl, like, so what'd you go to school for? I went to school for mechanical engineering. So what do you do?

Nothing to do with mechanical engineering. You want to know, like, if I was in that situation, which I'm glad I'm not, but if I was, if they're like, so what do you do? Or like, where'd you go to college? I'm like, shit, I went, but fucking. Shit, I went to Foot Locker. I honestly fucking hate like when people ask what I do. I went to Foot Locker University. Nobody ever understands it.

Like, I do social media, which is a very broad answer in their defense. But it's like, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. You give them a broad answer to just leave me alone. Because it's just like what am I supposed to tell you? Leave me alone. I don't clock in, and I don't have to ask to go to lunch. I literally watched four seasons of Rick and Morty this week. You're a sick individual.

It was fucking awesome, and I had the freedom to do it. Should I have been doing other things? Fucking guaranteed. Yeah, I should not have been being a lazy piece of shit. No, hold on. Comment down below if we should do more than one pod every 20 episodes at my house. AJ wants a fucking excuse to have it here more often we're not doing

the pod here more unless we come up with a good reason oh comment down below if you want to stare at a blank wall behind you no shit we need to have something behind us but look like we need fucking we need the beautiful plants that walker provides for us like the beautiful youtube plaque and all that good stuff sure yeah we need to have that man but i'm just sorry guys i'm just happy we made it to episode 20 we've already we've already did more than a lot of podcasts in this world so cheers to that everyone in the room let's go have you guys ever watched rick and morty slash are you a fan yeah i briefly mentioned this a couple seconds ago only when demarco's forced me and literally only when marco forces so you know last weekend i went to charlotte you guys don't know that but i did and it was a long weekend and

then it was mother's day and my mother and i like to fucking party on mother's day so overall long ass weekend so i had needed a couple days to just kind of lay low and do my own thing during the week. I watched well so far, I'm almost done, but I've watched I think I'm up to season 5 episode 10 in the last 4 days.

You've been going after it hard, man. I've been hitting it hard and it's been so much fun. You know it's controversial because the writer's like a pedophile or something. Yeah, he's a fucking weirdo for sure. Do you want to know what I just noticed? I think. Most random shit what I just noticed? Look.

Justin Rowland. Yeah, Dan Harmon and something rolling. Look at the barcode on the tweet. The bitch is a fucking tweet. It's a jar. Yeah, it's a jar, bro. Fuck Twisted Tea. You guys

are some op-ass bitches. You're lucky we still drink these on our podcast. You guys showed no love. You think your one little comment on Instagram is going to keep us drinking these things? I guess it did, but fuck. You fucking got us, baby. God damn it. It worked. They gaslighted us.

I'm thinking Locos. Vote in the comments if you want to see Locos on the next pod, baby. That'll make me sick. Vote in the comments who should drink what flavor of Loco. I vote these two drink gold Locos.

And I drink green apple. I can do that. Let us know in the comments what we should drink besides Twisted Tea. Because they're a little fucking mean. They're like a little, Twisted Tea, they're about to piss me off. They got these little, they try to tweet out these little funny little messages and little memes. And they say 69 a lot. And they're so fucking lame, bro.

69, 420. Oh, we're so cool. We're going to follow back 69 people. Suck my fucking dick, bitch. Jesus. I love when AJ gets passionate about something. Twisted Teeth, you know

your fucking social media person is a bitch. Hire someone new. That's some poor 22 year old just trying to do their job. Fuck him. Fuck him.

The motherfucker put social media management experience on his resume and got the job like a bitch. Anyway, on that note, shit got

aggressive there for a second. Do you guys have any final things you want to say tonight? Even the Twisted T reps ain't repping them. Come back to me. AJ, any final words of encouragement?

Maybe something more positive than your previous message? Yeah, yeah. On a more positive note, you know. ELE, baby. ELE. Keeper eyes rule. Everyone love everybody. I lied at challenge day and pimps up hoes down at the bitch can't swim she just gonna drown amen shout out jackson america um I peaked in middle school.

I only attained the level of athlete of being a walk-on D2 college football player, possibly. Holy shit, I was walk-on D3. Fuck. And? And the walls are closing in alright ladies and gentlemen we appreciate you guys for listening to another episode

of Always Laugh Podcast I don't have anything else to say for you I'll be honest but my name's Austin Lane my name is AJ I'm Walker we out

love you everyone