Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #28 - Austin and AJ are Starting a TV Series!

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

This episode we talk about Aj quitting his job, Walker traveling, Homeless people being liars, and Mr, Beast being overhyped. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww MERCH - Coming Soon! Follow us on all socials!! @alwayslaughpodcast

Welcome back to the always laugh podcast. My name is Austin Lane. My name is AJ. This is the number one podcast you've never heard of. Fuck. I didn't know y'all were wearing shades too. I'm Walker the testicle tickler Smith. What? You don't want to wear shades? Nah, I'm not copying y'all fucking losers. I thought that was our new thing. That's a bet. I thought we wore shades. Okay. This fucking guy. Alright, I'm putting my shades on. I'm pissed. I'm getting'm getting pissed off for one my right earphone just went out so that's sick you guys talk amongst yourselves all right walker man thank you thank you for coming out uh we're we are in a totally different scenery today if you didn't notice and um we're on the porch with it dude yeah this is a big effort for me i'm still like pretty jet lagged and uh i went to sleep at like fucking 8.30 last night on the couch. I woke up feeling like I'd just been, I don't know, Batista bombed. Like my back was just contorted.

Batista bombed. Bro, I slept on the couch while you were gone, while you were out of town. Something was not right about it, bro. I woke up in a very bad position. I don't think that couch is very good for sleeping on. I slept on my left ear, and I don't know if the couch is just kind of hard. It made my ear hurt so fucking bad. Like, no pillow, just, like, flat on the cushion.

My ear, I thought I had an ear infection when I woke up. You have ear AIDS now. Yeah, I think so. Yes, I have farts in my ears. AJ, put your fucking phone away. You are the only person I have met that will purposely sleep on the couch when you have a bed waiting for you. That's wild to me.

I think it's something like some type of mental health thing. I think that's what they say on the internet. I think we share it. It's like when we sleep on the couch where we have a bed, it's almost like punishing yourself. Yeah, it's like I don't deserve to go into that bed tonight. Exactly. How? I need to sweat this one out on the couch.

Oh, my God. You got them cold sheets waiting on you? Yeah, sometimes I'm not taking a shower before I go to bed. And then I'm like, all right, I'll sleep on the couch. Right. And then I'm like, all right, well, let me just not brush my teeth and let me just get fucking drunk as fuck before I go to bed and pass out on the couch and really just ruin the next day and a half.

Because I don't want to take a shower before I go to bed. It all just spirals out of control. That's probably bad, dude. We should probably stop doing stuff like that. So what's up, boys? How you been? It's been like two weeks since we recorded a podcast. I feel like we just don't record podcasts anymore.

I know. We always hit our mark and we do what we need to do, but it feels like we never record. We hit the milestone of 20 and we're like, all right, back burner, baby. No, dude. It's been hectic, man. It has been hectic. We've all been on the move. Walker has been in

five states in a month. Every week, he's somewhere else. He's on the move. Yeah, dude. You have been traveling your little ass off over the last few months. I know. It blows, dude. That's honestly wild. You've never heard anything blows. Are you being for real or it really sucks?

I mean yeah Cause it's still work Yeah it's still work you know If I could sleep in that'd be great But it's like Not only do we have to wake up early Like I had to wake up at 5.30 Each of these days

That sucks ass It's like you know I just come out Where were you? So I went to uh new mexico and i was in albuquerque specifically and i love albuquerque but there's like a lot of homeless there and there's like a lot of crime there and i was filling up my rental car on the way to the airport and i had this like one of my old ass co-workers this dude's like 75 so i found the legit the sketchiest gas station i could find in albuquerque

so i pull up to it there's this blunt like this burnt out fucking suburban in the parking lot there's this uh this shitty ass like yukon at the pump next to us i get out of the car this like my co-worker's like oh fuck i get out of the car. This absolutely just cracked out white woman, strung out white woman walks up to me. She's got, like, scabs all over and everything. She was at the car beside us, and she was like, excuse me, sir? And I just, like, look at her. Classic. She's like, I don't want to waste your time, but me and my brother, we're trying to go see my dad in the hospital.

And I burst out fucking laughing. No way. I burst out laughing. I was like, I just looked at it. You're like, shoot me straight. Shoot me straight. Just tell me straight up. If homeless people were honest with me, I would give so much more money.

When's the last time a homeless person was like I want to go buy crack like little dude I will fund your drug habit but don't give me this sob story about how you and your brother are trying to go see your dad like bitch I know you don't have a dad that's how you ended up in this situation okay like but so anyway so like I so like I couldn't get my car. Oh, no. What? Hello? It ain't plugged in.

No, we're good. Keep going. My bad. Keep going. Keep going. I'd fucking love your outfit, dude. Thanks, man. Like top to bottom.

You guys are both on this sweatshorts vibe. I don't know if you guys both joined it together or if it was one before the other. I've had these for about a year and a half. These weren't like really heavy in the rotation, but Austin cleaned out the target. I tried to go to Target to get sweatshirts and Austin literally bought all the fucking sweatshirts.

They're fire, dude. They're so comfortable. With his renaissance, I've started throwing these out a little more. You're so right, dude. They are unbelievably comfortable. They're a little hot. They can be a little hot in the summer heat i was gonna say my opinion i can't i can't believe y'all are wearing them in that summer i've mowed the aj hits me up yesterday he's like yo mow the lawn if you're a real one i said grandma what do you think because it was just me and grandma here i said grandma what do you think she said yeah do it just the front yard

though yeah just the front yard. So I mowed. Yeah, I mean, like, it's a little bit bigger than it looks. Like, I mowed all the way down the side of the fence, too, and that side of the house and stuff. I was out here in sweatshorts, though, and I was leaking. I almost passed out two different times. I was like, I got to stop. Dude, the heat wave has been crazy. So I did some reading into this.

There's some, like, El Nino effect going on in the pacific where the pacific like surface is hotter than it's ever been this is el nino year he said el it's every four i think el nino is every four years i think so it's so like the storms are worse like there's this fucking heat wave going across the country in albuquerque it was like 103 but it felt like 110 to 115 that's insane let's just get to the gas station real quick bro it was so funny so the first pump i went to that woman walked up we had that whole interaction i couldn't get my car in the pump because there was like it had been like stuffed with some shit like i'm guessing some i don't know some person just like stuffed a bunch of shit in there that's dope so then i backed the car up to the pump behind me and i

tried to put my card in it and i pulled my card out and the entire door of the pump opened up and i was like okay i think we'll just pick a different gas station so what was your were you trying to scare your coworker? Oh, absolutely. Dude, I don't know. There's something about like grown men in their 50s that like. Trying to humble. They're scared of homeless people.

Yeah, it's really weird. White men in their 50s are legitimately scared of homeless people. I like the homeless population personally. Dude, I think they're sick, you know? Like. They're good people. They are people. I think they're sick, you know? They're good people. They are people. They're just camping out.

They're people. They're literally human beings. They're human beings in terrible circumstances. It's wild. It's fucking wild. They just don't have the same things that we have. They don't have the same social net. Because, I mean, most of those people, if you give them opportunities, they'll find their way out of that. Right.

I love those videos, man, where people just like, where someone will offer a homeless person a job and they actually accept the job. And then they check back on them like weeks later and they're still working. And they're smoking crack. No, they're still working. Yeah, that's funny. I hate those videos. I hate those fucking loser content creators whoring out homeless people and then nice deeds for fucking views. I think I've been there at one point in my content creation. But when you do it, it's fine because I like you.

You're my friend. I appreciate that, bro. Yeah. Dude, I realize that I probably shouldn't do that. Bro, so Mr. Beast. Yeah. He's everywhere. Y'all y'all are y'all are fans right uh i i'm not like i'm not watching i'm not watching his latest videos but if i'm scrolling

and i see one i'm i'd like to see what he does once in a while i'm not a huge fan though so like austin you kind of put me on him because Because I've always been big into YouTube, but I don't really know who he is. And I don't like his videos at all. Yeah. Mr. Beast has dead eyes. He looks like a piece of shit. He's not that attractive. He's not that funny or charismatic.

His videos boil down to, like, look how much money I have. I'm going to use this money to do this thing. But I watched him on rogan and what he did to like really get famous was for 10 years he just locked into the youtube algorithm like he learned everything he learned he's a youtube genius for sure like the right pauses to take the exact right thumbnails like everything like this but i think what it's there's a reason he has the most subscribers on the entire channel subscribers on the entire platform. Dude, if you, like, watch his videos, like, it's just, like, it's like this was built for someone younger than 12 years old.

Like, I don't know. Oh, for sure. Yeah, it's, like, very simple. Well, you got to think, like, most of the people, like, the majority of the population isn't very smart, you know? Dude, the fact that they're adult MrBeast fans just blows my mind. I mean, some of his stuff can be interesting. Some of his challenges and stuff can be somewhat interesting, but I just don't like the whole vibes of the videos. All his friends are just like...

They're all annoying. Yeah, his friends all suck and they're not funny. They're not funny at all. They just say stupid shit and they're just immature. We're way funnier, boys. Oh, yeah. We got it. Like, dude.

If they could be anything like us, they would really just take over the world. If anyone should be canceled, it's him. You know, not us, dude. I heard he said the N-word. Oh, fuck. Mr. B said the N-word. Did you guys hear that? I, uh, dude, dude, I think that's sick.

You got them pearly whites on, baby. Walker has some fresh kicks on right now. Pearly whites on. The new... I got the Protect Trans Kids socks on, bro. Fuck yeah. What's that other one you got? That looks like a peach.

This was bought by a former... A former, uh... Lover? A lover, I guess? Dude, you... While she was in Spain. a peach. This was bought by a former lover. Dude, you look like you're about to go longboard or skateboard for real. You look fire. I'm about to go change.

Dude, longboarding is fire. You don't think longboarding is cool? Have you ever longboarded before? You didn't like it? I liked it. What's the problem? Longboarding is whack. If you like it,ed before? Yes. That's why I changed it to skateboarding. You didn't like it? I liked it. Then what's the problem? I think, see, that's one of the most... Longboarding's whack. If you like it, then it's cool.

Hey, cheers, by the way. That's most of my problem with anything. The activity is cool. The people surrounding the activity are the fucking worst, dude. Have y'all ever met someone who's super into longboarding? Oh, yeah. They're the fucking worst. Our buddy Ben.

Who? Ben Millward? That's the one. We'll bleep out that. I wasn't going to say Our buddy Ben. Who? Ben Millward? That's the one. We'll bleep out that. I wasn't going to say his last name. You want to know what? Something? You're freaking right, dude.

You're freaking right. I love you, Ben. Because there's so many things or activities or sports that are cool, but it's kind of like the societal pressure that's kind of fucked up. But look, you've been like, oh, that shit's so cool, but like dude the people who are do are fucking lame but like it's still like i don't give a shit about stuff like that but then it's like all right do you care what people think you're just like go have fun like you only have one life to live but like it's like bro they're fucking lame like that thing see i i don't i don't really like that line of uh thinking like who cares

what people think it's like dude human beings all we are is judgmental about each other and ourselves everybody's like oh you know don't care what it's like absolutely care people that pretend that they don't care what people think care the most yes they're just lying you know like to say like you truly don't care what people say like you're either a psychopath or a liar right but I do like that energy I tried my best in life to not care what people think because it's my fucking world, baby. You guys are just living in it. If you would have saw what we did this morning, we don't care what people think. Oh, my God.

We were doing some dumb shit. I think I can pull some examples from more than this morning. Should we give them, like, not a spoiler, but just tell them what's up? Tell them what's up. Just something slight. We're just on the main channel, Austin Lane. You type in Austin Lane. That's how you get to, like, the main channel that I originally started with

back in the day. We're going to drop a series. AJ and I are working on this new little TV show type of vibe. We started filming for it today, and we're hoping to get the first video out within the next two weeks. So, I don't know. Fuck yeah, boys. You're going to laugh your asses off, dude.

Yeah, like. I'm in rare form. I've never been in this type of bag before. It's stupid. It's fucking stupid. I have never been in my acting bag before. Oh, it's funny. AJ took this shit serious.

It was really funny. He really locked in and took it serious this morning. I'm sure once we we ain't watched it back yet, but I'm sure I'll need some improvement on some shit. It's probably all dog shit. So I got two airport related things to bring up.

First one, the Atlanta airport is probably like the most efficient cleanest airport I've ever been to. Yeah, they really do a good job over there for how big it is. Isn't that where most layovers are at, though? I don't know. I'm just talking, like, anecdotally.

Like, from my experience, it's always been great. There is not a, I swear to God, there is not a single white person that works in that entire airport. That's funny. And I know that because I had a layover. There's not a single white person that works in that entire airport that's funny and i know that because i had a little not a single white person that works that's true like when we were there it was the same bro i had i had a lay over there and i was walking throughout the terminals just like in between my flights and i was like i heard it on a podcast that no white people work at atlanta so i decided to like look around not a single one bro nope it's fucking wild when we were there it's the best airport

yeah dude we were just talking or i was just talking about that or yeah i was talking to you him about it uh at my new job it's a big big company probably about there's probably 200 employees in the store right or probably a little bit less but i was looking around one day and i said i haven't like i noticed to myself i'm like i've only seen one other white guy employee like in this whole thing and i'm like that's odd like not even in like like you know usually they're like you got the fucking the white people like all the managers and shit like you know like that's know usually they're like you got the fucking the white people like all the managers and shit like you know like that's unfortunately usually what it's like and uh are there any it's it's fucking cool honestly because i was in the break room i did the break room is wild at this

place where i work uh it's huge and uh i in, there's a group of girls playing sexy red fucking, uh, pound town loud as hell in the fucking corner. I have, you got your, your Mexican people over there. You got your, um,

uh, Indian people over there. And like, it's like every race you could think of, bro. Besides white people. I'm just sitting there like you're the only white dude in the whole place. Yeah.

Manager, of course. Why would you think of that? So. You're the only employee that didn't get called on lying on the resume. Yeah. So was it a vibe or what? Did you join in with the girls that were singing? No, I didn't.

I feel like that was like your entire vibe. Like, that seems like something you would do. I normally would. And I feel like if I was. Because this. Like you, that seems like something you would do. I normally would. And I feel like if I was, because this store I'm working at is not going to be my permanent store I go to. If I was at my home, like I have no interest in meeting anybody because I'm only going to be there for a couple weeks. You don't want your heart to be broken when you have to leave. No, I don't give a shit. I'll fucking leave on my lunch break and never see anyone again at work.

I don't give a fuck. How did you leave your last job? I left on my lunch break. He literally left on his lunch break. No, no, no. I lied. I just finished up with a customer and just left. He just walked out and never looked back. Dude, the manager was in the back room, and I know she didn't know I left.

And, like, I'm sure, like, she probably came out on the floor, like, probably five minutes after I left. Like, oh, he must have ran to his car or something. Do you guys know where AJ went? And this was a store with, like, seven people in it. So, like, if someone leaves, like, you know if someone leaves. I just disappeared, ghosted, and fucking just blocked all their numbers as I was pulling out of the driveway or the parking lot because I know they'd call me. You really fucking burned that bridge, didn't you, buddy? I just walked out that bitch and blocked them all and just left.

That shit's like the funniest story. That's some real G shit. You said, I'm done with this shit. I'm done with this shit right now. I literally finished up with the customer. I said, yeah, I'm going to walk out with you, bro. Hey, we're both done here I'm gonna walk out with you bro Like is all your shit straight

Alright let's get the fuck out of here bro we're done He's like shit you coming Yeah yeah So the second thing I've noticed In the airport This isn't specific to Atlanta I think this is more specific To the country we live in. The divide between

people has never been bigger. And you might think I'm talking about liberals and republicans or, you know, alt-right and alt-left. Antifa versus the Nazis. Q9 or whatever the fuck. Yeah. No.

We're not talking about that. I'm talking about fit and fat people. Oh. Nowadays. Get into the real shit. Nowadays, I feel like people fit into the fit or very fat category. Okay. So what I want to do, I want to bring back the mid-size fat person. Okay.

Okay. Mid-size fat person. You're not obese, you know, like you ain't got the fupa, but the belly hangs over the gut. Yeah,

like the belly hangs over the tits, you know, my tits. The fupa is crazy. Dude, I thought for the longest time. How does the belly hang over the tits?

Like, so you know, like you're not in shape until like- Oh, oh, you're saying it pokes, it pokes out,

Pat. Like when you look down, you see belly, not tits. Yeah, I don't see my penis at all. I haven you're saying it pokes. It pokes out. When you look down, you see belly, not titties. I don't see my penis at all. I haven't seen my penis in years. I'm already there. I'm getting there.

All the drinking makes the lower part of my belly hang a little bit funny. Because there was that thing a couple years ago with the dad bod. And I think a dad bod for girls is just a guy who's been out of the gym for like six months and like just doesn't have visible abs right yeah like it's like but he's still clearly anyone i would die to have that guy's body like that's not a dad bod a real dad bod is a dude who's like hit the gym like four times he's all he's got like spindly arms he's a big drinker so he's just got a big old beer belly that's a fucking and it's hard you poke it and it's like fucking hard rock hard no ass whatsoever like his ass like concaves inside that's a fucking dad bod that's like the um so is that what you're trying to bring back no

mid-sized fat guy basically mid-sized basically i just want everyone to be attracted to my body type is that so wrong like is that too much to fucking ask for? I feel that. Have you ever heard that when you're out of all the adults, the amount of adults that have six-packs is like one percent. They're like, dude, if you have a six-pack

as a working class adult, you're in the top. That's so bad, dude. Dude, and it's like girls don't even give a fuck. No. You're like elite, though. Like, you're elite if you have, like, abs.

Well, I mean, I'm elite for a lot of things, you know? Like the amount of amphetamines I consume on a weekly basis. You know, I, like, I've got, I'm pretty good in a lot of stuff. You're like a cyborg, dog. Literally. I don't know where you don't you remember you i don't know why you just saying that made me think of futurama for some reason listen amphetamines go in content comes out that's how this fucking works walker that's all we fucking need you for all right no that energy we need you for yeah no we don't what do we need him for everything he's a backbone. This girl called me a munch this week, but then she let me fuck just because I was funny.

So I don't know how that correlates. That is the most off-the-wall fucking shit. I don't know how that correlates. Who the fuck did you just pull that out of? She's a simp. She's a fucking simp. She's a munch. I don't know.

Dude, what is a munch? I guess. Munchhausen syndrome yeah munchhausen's you might know i've been worried about that my entire life i think it's just you you do all the work and they just take advantage of that oh dude i'm absolutely a munch are you kidding me walker i didn't want to tell you this but you're a munch yeah yeah big time and it's not it's not a bad thing because it makes you happy so who cares yeah so you know be a munch munch bro yeah sometimes munching fun keep on munching just keep on munching bro just keep munching if you ain't munching bro

what are you doing what are you doing if you're not munching what are we talking about um so i i've i've made another interesting discovery. So there's a video that comes out every once in a while with a white person who gets confronted by a black person. Okay. And, you know, they'll just drop the N-word hard R like three or four times in a row. The white person? Yeah. You're on the dark side of Facebook.

I think that's actually the normal side of Facebook. Yeah, that is the normal side of Facebook. That's Twitter. Yeah, that's the blue checkmark Twitter. Son of a bitch. Son of a buck. My working theory is if you've ever seen a roast battle that involves a white person, they're trash. White people are not very good at insulting. And I think that's because the bedrock of our insults

has been the N-word for so long that once that was taken away from us we've just been left floundering. We've lost it all. It's like we're not willing to put in the effort to come up with creative insults that don't involve racial slurs. White people are just pieces of shit at the end of the day. Everything just comes back to white people being bad. It's always got to be this way. It also goes back to, um...

We got to be the change we want to see in the world. God damn it. What can we do? Let's bring back the N-word. Oh, that's not where I was going with it. No. Hello, I am Professor... Dude, do you think some Europeans just sneak the N-word in front of the second half of their last name?

Probably. If I had balls, I'd say it, but I don't. Please don't. Don't. Walker. Do you want to scrap the whole episode? You do not have to. We can just cut it, dude.

No. No. I'm not hanging out with someone who does that. That's a good point. Facts. Walker, how come in real life you're the least controversial, you're the most love everybody, and then on the podcast you come out here and you get all fucking controversial.

Because you guys are so fucking boring on here. I've got to do something to make it exciting. I'm about to spice this bitch up. Son of a bitch. God damn it, dude. As he's peeling his can, he's stressed out. I am stressed out. Let me drop the N-bomb, bro.

No. Stop. Why do you want to? I don't, AJ. It's just a bit. It's just a bit. You know what sucks, though? People don't take it that way.

People are going to think, oh, Walker's a piece of shit racist. He wants to say the N-word. Oh, he's a piece of shit. Which is all true. Yeah, I know it's true, but they don't know that it's true, and they shouldn't assume. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I want to talk about...

I want to talk about... Save us, AJ. Oh, dude. I want to talk about your spending spree you've been on. This motherfucker done got three new pair of shoes. Yeah, he has a new fucking new pair of shoes on every time I see him. He, you, what's gotten into you, buddy? I've seen you one time in the last two weeks.

Yeah, legit. What's gotten into me? He's sending pictures of like, I'm about to cop. I'm about to cop. Should I cop? Yes. My answer is yes every time. Yes.

The slang, the cop slang has finally infiltrated my... Yeah, should I cop, bro? I'm finna cop. Well, dude, I told you... Cop or drop. I might have mentioned this at the... Another one of my airport revelations is that I want to marry a woman in a pantsuit. So I've realized I, in my current form, which is, you know, fat, depressed, dressed like shit,

I'm not going to get that that so i'm starting with the dressing part okay i've got the eating disorders really ramping up so that takes care of the fat part okay and i'm on a new antidepressant hell yeah so dude i you might be fucking dude i might lose my roommate hold on i'm fucked i'm gonna need you to lay off if i get with a woman in a pantsuit She will be pregnant within six months I guarantee that What's that word you're saying?

Pantsuit? Yeah like a pantsuit What is that? Like imagine Hillary Clinton Can't even picture her I don't even know I know who it is But I don't know what she looks like

Dude Can we talk about the Clintons? No I wanna talk about Dude I don't know They're so funny. Did you... The Clinton kill list is like 400 people at this point. I'm a big fan of the Clintons.

Dude, if you are like an American president or even like an American senator, you have had thousands of civilians killed. Bodies. Thousands. That's pretty sick. I mean, that's not sick, but it's kind of sick. There's this story about this person who was investigating the Clintons who got off of work, drove three miles from their house, got in the back seat, and killed themselves by stabbing themselves 47 times with a penknife. I think I heard about that.

Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah, that's definitely a suicide. Like, imagine if... I don't know, dude. That's just so fucked up. It's like, oh, yeah, that's definitely a suicide. Like, imagine if... I don't know, dude. That's just so fucked up. It's wild. Are you going to a new barber? Or what's the deal?

I see you have a fresh haircut. Yeah, you got the fucking freshie. I found Sammy. You found what? So I remember you saying... Did he move? No, no. I remember you saying you couldn't get a hold of him?

I couldn't get a hold of him. Yeah, so I assume the worst, but he changed his number and opened up his own shop. Oh, my God. So I tracked him down through Instagram and made an appointment. Me and my mom went, and I got her hooked up. She looks like, we'll put a picture right here. She looks like Pink's grandmother. Oh, my God.

That's kind of fire. It's kind of fire. What's that one song? Because I got money now. That's that shit, boy. Hell, yeah. That's that shit. I Cause I got money now. That's that shit, boy. Hell yeah. That's that shit. I don't know that song.

I could only imagine the fear, the stress, the anxiety that you went through thinking you lost your barber. Like that you had to find a new barber. That is the scariest thing ever. Dude, I'm happy for you. You fucking found the man. It was a tough three weeks. You tracked his ass down. It's just crazy because, like, you almost have to act like a fiend.

Like, yo, where the fuck is this dude at? I need a cut, bro. I need my hit of Sammy. I need a cut. You're, like, you're at the house, like, turning on the clippers. You're like, oh, should I do it? No, no, no, don't do it. You're like, fuck, I just don't want to hear it.

Jesus, AJ. I just sometimes, want to hear it. Jesus, AJ. I just sometimes, dude. I miss having hair. I'm just so intrigued by what goes through your head. Grow your fucking hair out. Get some Bosley or some shit. I'm about to just grow it out and just keep it lined the fuck up. Get some Just For Men, damn it.

I'm the crispiest, thinned out hair in my life. So they can do hair transplants. I know, I know. But you can only get it from your beard. So would you sacrifice the beard to have a full head of hair? No. No? I don't know what happened with my face, but my face changed, bro.

Obviously, I don't look like I was when I was 18, but my facial structure changed. AJ's chin vanished after he turned 17. Oh, dude. I don't know if I just lost my jawline or something, but I literally look so weird with no... I look like a fucking alien. Dude, do you take care of your skin under the beard? I mean, it gets scrubbed and washed every three days with beard oil and shampoo and shit.

It's decent. It's decent. I feel like most people with beards, the skin under the beard is just like the sahara desert i do it's like the fucking worst thing ever i do think about that because i sometimes i get real weird about it like bro like that skin bro like you might find like a rogue ass like small little pimple in there some shit that you didn't know about until you just felt that right spot or like it's weird dude do y'all get head pimples i have oh oh dude i've never had a big neck guy i i get them like every other week for some reason i don't know how fucking how dude i i legit wash

my sheets and my pillowcases every week and they still fucking happen and they just they hurt so bad some people are just prone, I guess. Just like you're... Prone to fucking filthiness. To filth. It's okay. How far are we in? I don't know. We're about 35.

No, we're about 35 minutes. Yeah, we're 900 in. We're 35. We're over 35. Okay, okay, okay. That's a bet. Dude, I messed up your shoulder, bro. Bro, wakeboarding.

Still. It's been fucked up since we wakeboarded. Still, really? Yeah, okay. That's a bet. Good deal, man. I messed up your shoulder, bro. Bro, wakeboarding. It's been fucked up since we wakeboarded. Still? Yeah, dude. I can move. It's fine. But if I move it this way, oh, fuck. It's really bad when I move it like that. Yeah, it is bad.

Remember that one time my shoulder wasn't right for like three months and I just pretended like everything was fine. Yeah, when you fucking crashed a dirt bike yeah austin took like a 30 foot jump and ate ate his fucking lunch 30 30 feet nice is a bit of a stretch but i appreciate that i wasn't there for the effect yeah it was about 30 feet i'd say give or take uh in the air straight up in the air yeah slammed on the concrete i i went to the i went to like the shittiest uh urgent care of all time and they said everything looks good they took x-ray everything looks good couldn't fucking move my arm for three months it's like something is not right yeah that sounds familiar i got hit by a semi on the highway

and couldn't walk or anything they took me to the hospital in the ambulance and I couldn't move the whole rice or the left side of my body and they're like yeah you're just really bruised they sent me home four hours later and then like years later like I'm just accepting the fact that I've my knee just randomly pops out like a roll in bed. My knee will literally dislocate and I'll have to like, wait for it to either pop back in or it would take a complete seven days for it to be, I'd be limping. Like my limp would get gradually better over the course of seven days and then I'd be good. Like nothing happened.

It was so weird, bro. And then, and then it sounds fucked. And then eventually I finessed it. You know, I'm a big finesser. Uh, or I, the biggest, I eventually I finessed it. You know, I'm a big finesser. The biggest.

I would say you are a big finesser. I tried my best to scam corporate America. AJ literally makes more money than I do now because he's a finesser. Yeah. He literally- It won't be for long, bud. It's a little lizard. I wish the people on the camera could see it.

That's a baby blue-tailed skink, bro. That's pretty dope. I've looked it up and that is a baby- A baby blue-tailed skink? Skink. Oh. Look at its tail, bro. Oh, gotcha. Can we insert a picture on there? that is a baby. A baby blue-tailed skank? Skink. Oh. Look at its tail, bro. Oh, gotcha. Can we insert

a picture on there? I'm trying to get me a blue-tailed skank. Take a picture. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I want some skank with some tail. You know how girls dye their hair blue, purple, red? Yeah. You think some girls dye their pubes that? Oh, for sure. Somebody's doing it. I want that. You want that on you or you want that on you?

Yes. Alright. I see what I see i see oh i think i forgot to say the uh i want my tongue to look like i just got done oh i forgot i wasn't i wasn't done by the way oh my fault if you ain't laughing you ain't living i forgot to say that earlier i schemed i i got the most expensive during open enrollment i planned this i got the most expensive uh health care i could get that they offered like the best shit they offered and then i uh i got all this shit done on my knee and come to find out the over the mirrors i had like seven torn like major ligaments in my knee like all the acls mcls all of them lcl everyone was fucking torn they're like did you know you had a torn this, this, this? I'm like, meniscus. Oh, makes sense.

They said I was just bruised. Your entire knee was just blown out. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Wonder why. It was like, yeah. See, and that's, I've been thinking of it. It's like, if you sprained your ankle in medieval times, it's like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's John. He's had a limp since he was 13 and tripped over a rock. It's like, dude, if you got hurt back then, like, you were just completely fucked for life. That would suck so bad. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. You just have to accept fate. Yeah, it's just like, oh.

That's John. Yeah, I guess I tore my ACL and I'll never walk right again. Cool. Dude, medicine's come a long way, man. They used to do some wild stuff back in the day. Hey, Doc, I broke my leg. Okay, let's cut you a bunch and let a bunch of blood let out, and maybe that'll fix it.

Yeah, they would do lobotomies. They would just shove a knife up your eyeball socket to cut your brain apart if you were acting funny that week. Bro, lobotomies are so funny if you were acting funny that week bro lobotomies are so funny if you think about it it's like they wanted um like poor desperate housewives to not kill themselves so bad that they electrocuted a part of their brain into not working just to like just to keep them fucking docile until like the 80s. I don't even know what that is. It's where they would like,

they would shock some region of your brain and like you could still function, but you were basically just like. Well, back in the day, they would cut out a section of your brain or like cut a section of your brain. Like they would shove a knife up your eyeball socket and cut your brain apart.

And they would mostly do it to, you know, like mentally insane people and like housewives that were unhappy in their lives they're like oh depression yeah uh here's a lobotomy for you that should solve your problem jesus fuck it well boys i'm looking at this pool right here that these people are in and i really want to join them yeah so we're good man we So we're good, man. We're good, man. Let's call it.

The pool is calling our name, everybody. Yeah, I need a fresh beer. I've had a great time doing this podcast. You guys have anything you want to say to wrap this one up? I need to plant this palm tree in the ground stat. I feel bad. I can see the leaves are a little bit dry. You do need to do that.

The vibes. protect trans kids black lives matter that's all i got amen hey thanks for listening to another episode of the always laugh podcast make sure if you're listening only that you watch on youtube and if you're watching listen to us on spotify apple you can find us everywhere um and if you have any questions for the show send them in to always laugh podcast, LLC at gmail.com. Yeah. Yep.

Always. Always. That is not it at all. It's what should I say? Don't even worry about it. Just comment down below. Always laugh LLC. Where you want us to do a podcast at next.

Is that what you said? We might go to the front porch. Yeah, that's right. All right. Yeah. Thanks, ladies and gentlemen. It's been great. It's been fun.

My name is Austin Lane my name is AJ we'll be on the front porch next I'm Walker we out love you everyone