Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #29 - TikTok is Brainwashing Everyone

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

This episode we talk about bringing Myspace back, girls that use TikTok, fit and fat people, and girls that stink. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj and this is the number one podcast you've never heard of god i hate that i'm not gonna stop saying that what's your fucking weak ass what's your name over there buddy weak ass if you ain't laughing you ain't living you don't even respect your dad neither do you that's a good point. I'm not named after him. All right, we're not getting back into the daddy talk. Oh, fuck. Oh, I got his ass. I'm Walker.

Dumbass first name Smith. Ooh. Just piss me off. Ooh. Oh, damn. We're at 55 minutes already. I've been living good, dude. I've had some funny experiences over the last few days and it's been a good ass

time it's been a good ride uh i went on a date last night i guess you can call it a date how'd it go it went um interestingly the girl was very nice sweet sweet girl she just had some interesting uh opinions does um nice and sweet now those weren't like quite the adjectives you used with me she was energy give us give us like what what give us give us an example she was full of energy i'll tell you that um well for example um i don't even know how this got brought up and i don't i don't know. She just brought up the fact, like, she's like, people that smoke weed are disgusting. And I was like, all right. I mean, like, that's an opinion.

She was like, I would never be with someone that ever smokes weed. I'm like, ever? Like, if it happens, like, once every six months, like, that's a deal breaker? She's like, yeah, that's disgusting. I'm like, geez, geez like you're sitting here i just watched you like fucking literally chug a mixed drink and you're gonna talk shit about people that smoke and ganja i'm like 90 of the people in my life smoke weed daily literally everyone in your life smokes weed she's like she i was like all right so that's

a deal breaker whatever she's like yeah those people are just bums like they're just scum of the earth i'm like damn girl damn in his head he's like i can't wait to go home and rip the joint yeah no literally as soon as soon as she left i was, Gary Payton, where you at, dog? Gary Payton? I need some short game lessons, you know what I'm saying? So this girl was wild. She cried on her way out because she fell down the fucking stairs. She was like, please don't judge me if I cry a little bit. And I was like, it's okay. I felt bad, though.

I did feel bad at that point. But it was funny as fuck. When she got in her car and drove home? Yeah, I felt happy about it. But if you smoke weed, you're disgusting. But, you know. I was planning on hanging out with her.

I was planning on hanging out with her at least one more time. But if she sees this podcast, I doubt that's going to fucking happen. Dude, the hypocrisy of, like, I think one of the problems is people just don't realize their own shit smells. Like, they have, like, these grand opinions and they're just, like, doing the exact same shit.

Yeah. I just wonder if her beliefs would still be like that if weed was legal in the state and more people did it. I'm sure she'd feel the same. She's like, I just, the smell of it's just gross. Like, you can't get rid of it, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God. Dude, big alcohol has come out with some new talking points recently. Is that what that is?

Yeah, the smell of it sucks. She's probably an incense girl. Yeah, drink instead. Drinking's never done anything wrong to anybody. Never. She probably burns incense all throughout the house, has the fucking worst candles from bed bath and beyond dude i feel like incense is exclusively a thing for people who smoke weed

and girls whose pussy smell who are all natural yeah all natural you know all i use deodorant without aluminum no you fucking stink that's what happens. Listen, give me Alzheimer's when I'm old, okay? My grandma died of that. It's a horrible disease. I will take that over having fucking smelly pits like some of these clowns I find out there. What is wrong with people? You can't say you have dreads just because you don't shower. Come on.

That's not... Bro, I mean, dreads is a whole nother thing. You're in the early stage of dreadlocks. Come on. You just haven't showered. I mean, dreads is a whole nother thing. You're in the early stage of dreadlocks. Come on. You just haven't showered. I never really. You can't claim that quite just yet. TikTok exposed me to like, because, you know, if you're white with dreads, like just it's not even worth like that.

You're homeless probably. But like black people with dreads, you know, that's like a fairly common hairstyle. And I never really thought about like, you know, you can't really, like, shower with, like, you can't, like, you can shower, but, like, you can't, like, get the dreads wet. And I've seen all these videos of, like, them cleaning their dreads. Oh, yeah. It's a real thing. Shit's nasty, bro. Like, the shit is nasty because it's just, like.

Could you imagine how good it feels, though, after you get them cleaned? It's probably. I bet it's life-changing. Because it's a process. It's like four pounds lighter. It's a process, dude. I mean, dude, like, I don't know. I'm just crazy.

I envy anyone that's able to do anything with their fucking hair. Hell, we know, AJ. I'm about to start doing shit with my beard, bro. You could hit it, bro. You could still rock the hair. You just got a little widow's piece. If I pop out with, like, a different color beard. Dude, your hair on could still rock the hair. You just got a little widow's piece. If I pop out with a different color beard. Dude, your hair on top still comes right here.

I think if you did a little braid on the side of your beard, that would be kind of fire. Bro, I work in an office. With a little bead on the end or something. Oh, dude. I work in an office with almost exclusively white men over 50. And some of the hairlines are fucking atrocious, dude. I love we're talking about hairlines. You, your hair still comes to right here.

You're just a little, you know. I'm thinned out on the sides. Dude, there's this one guy at my new job. Have you ever thought about plugs? What do you mean? Hair plugs. You got to fly to Turkey and get your hair plugged. Yeah, they'll take some from like your butthole and put it right on your head.

Hell, yeah. That's fine. But look, though. I work with this dude. I peeped him from a mile away, and I wanted to walk up to him and be like, dude, you got to come home, buddy. You got to come home. Dude, his entire top of his head, gone.

And I'm talking about he's walking around head up high, confident as hell. I've always thought that's so funny. Like he doesn't have a runway on top of his shit, bro. People just have like the ring around their fucking heads. That shit's so funny. It's brutal, man. Bro. This man.

I won't even. I don't know, bro. I don't know. I just, I can't. I can't even, I don't know, bro. I don't, I don't know. I just, I can't, I can't. So I was having a conversation with my coworkers and I was doing like the, you know, us is cause you know, I was like us as white men, you know, we just don't bully each other enough into like, we need to shaving our hair off. I will take one of the guys was, was this dude who is like 75 and he's got like a big

old ball patch on the back of his head and uh he he wasn't too happy with the conversation i sometimes forget like oh yeah most of these guys are balding they don't want to come home they don't want to come home you You have to just come home, dude. Get a little drunk. Pull them clippers out. AJ, how's the job going? That's a good question. So I'm on week two.

This tomorrow will be the end of week two. Are you ever going to tell the people where you work or no? No. Sorry. I work in a store similar to target but it's not target okay it's not one i wonder it's the little brother to target i really wonder what that could be um it could be bj's it could be sam's club is it either of those no now i really wonder what it could be it's cole's buddy oh the container So you got Kohl's cash out the ass.

Yeah, scamming Kohl's cash. But it's going like, it's not even going like, I would say it's going bad. Even if it was going good, I'd still say it's going bad just because I have a fucking like. Have you had any funny experiences? Anything cool? Yeah, I did have a funny dude the first time i went through um i went through where the food's at where they cook food at and shit and um i don't know if because it's crazy the person that was like walking me through there was like not the store manager but the person below the store manager it's called the store lead

pretty much just the assistant to the whole store and uh we walk in he puts a hair net on right and um he has hair right so i'm looking i'm like i had just shaved that morning i'm like so what do i do he's like oh you still gotta put one on i'm like they made you put a hair on the top of your head in my head i'm like bro like i have a fucking beard like i should should not be wearing like a beard thing and i didn't like say this out loud he just was like nope put your hair net on bro i couldn't even look no one in the eye with that fucking hair net on i'm bald as shit with a hair net on you know how weird that felt maybe he was just messing with you he was being dead fucking there's no way he'll do this.

Yeah, he's like, you think he's going to listen? And you want to know what? Guys, watch this shit. The other dude, it was me. I got him on camera. It was me and one other guy training. He's bald as well. Had put one on.

That's so. Were you guys like, did you guys look at each other like, yo, what are we doing? I brought up the fact. I was like, dude, i don't even have no hair he's like still gotta put it on i'm like and then the next time i go back there they showed me they actually had like the beard nets but i don't think he knew they had beard nets and he just hands me the fucking head one and i'm like okay so did you wear a beard one and a head one no when i went back there like a different day i just wore the fucking beard one

because clearly that's where my fucking hair is at yeah but that was the most awkward slash funny moment of my job so far because i couldn't even look at anyone with serious like dude in your defense i think they're also used for sweat so oh it's not like all it wasn't a total loss you just need a headband but no my job's super weird man this is the first job i've ever had that's uh he's a chef like manager position and uh there's like no training involved like i sat in my car for an hour today just because you're just on tiktok you're watching those live streams with the people acting like ai hell yeah that shit's so fucking stupid

thank you for the likes thanks for the glizzy literally brainwashing TikTok is destroying this not only this generation but like anyone that touches it bro like Austin

one of the only reasons thank god you're not you're like a fake TikTok influencer alright thanks like you know you're not

you're like in the culture you're not of the culture you know what I'm saying yeah yeah yeah AJ's borderline AJ is I don't

if I find like if I go on a date with a girl and she has TikTok on her phone I'm like yeah this is a one-night stand. This bitch is going to be fucking wild. She's going to be a fucking psycho.

Dude, TikTok has literally... Bro, that's like 90% of... Well, maybe that's why you only have one-night stands, Walker. What about if they have... I'm learning to love myself, okay? It's a journey. What about if they have Twitter on their phone They're a fucking freak

Or Reddit Reddit They probably weigh 200 pounds I don't know I feel like I used to think Normal happy people don't use social media. Maybe they just use Instagram. Well, now it's just so big.

It's like unavoidable almost. Everybody's on that shit. How long did y'all keep your Facebook accounts? What do you mean? The second my parents got on there, I deleted my account. Oh, mine's active. Mine's been active since 2010. That's wild. I've had twitter since 2009 nice that's a freshman in high school i tried to get dude i thought do we already talk about

this way back i don't care i thought myspace was the coolest fucking thing ever because like my parents had it because you know my parents were in like their 20s when i was like five years old so like they were still doing shit like that. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. And I was like, Mom, please let me get MySpace. And she was like, absolutely not. Like, I just wanted to customize my home screen so fucking bad. Wait, Walker, did you ever have MySpace?

You have no idea the excitement of getting home from school, running to your computer, logging into MySpace, and seeing someone picture commented on your shit. Bro, those picture comments used to fucking... Dude, PC for PC? It was getting your little dick hard, huh? Back then? Dude, if you had a girl picture comment...

You pulled up MySpace to get warmed up and then pulled up the hub to finish the job. Buddy, there wasn't no hub. You had to fucking download. Buddy, no. There was no hub? First off, you had to get it offline while you were. Second off, you had to start it and then go to school and hope it was done by the time you got home from school.

Bro, you downloaded porn on the family computer? In the living room, bud. In the living room. You're insane. My mom does watch this sorry sorry sorry ma dude that's that's out of pocket every kid you would just no i didn't have a laptop bro i waited until i had my own computer to do that shit i would not download porn go to school and leave it in the background. We also, hidden, hidden, hidden. Hidden.

Bro, you couldn't hide that much back then. I feel like your internet just was too shitty to stream. Yeah, we had dial-up, bud. Pornhub existed. No, like early 2000s, you had to download this shit. Offline wire, dude. When I first got it, I was probably like, I don't know, seven or eight. Hey, hold on.

When I first started looking at internet porn. Bro, it would take a half a day to download a picture. Dude. It was insane. It was insane. Kenzie told me a funny story about her little brother, Kyle. Shout out to Kyle. Apparently, Kyle bob got caught looking

up the first time he got caught was uh he had searched like big boobs or some shit like that like how funny is how at least he's into girls a younger a younger kid just googling big boobs dude that's fucking hilarious to me i don't know why. I got caught one time. I used to be into those fucking, like, the Flash sex games on the computer. You know what I'm talking about? No. They were like these, like, super basic sex games. And it was just like, imagine, I don't know, like my 13-year-old self was just like, I would just get all horned up and play like these you know like beach volleyball

horned up all this shit my mom came downstairs one time it's a game mom i just take a shower and i was sitting in front of my computer door open like a dumb ass on a metal folding chair she was like what are you doing walker and like i only had the towel over the top of me like it wasn't like my ass was just on the bare fucking folding chair that's wrong i'm not doing anything mom can you get out of here and she was like you look like you're up to something like wrong it's like trust me you don't want to know i was touching my penis like 10 seconds before you know like this conversation. Rule number one, always check your surroundings.

Right. Dude, she wasn't there when I started. She was at the top of the stairs. That's good, Walker. That's a good place to start. Oh, my God. That's really the only time I got caught. After that trauma.

I have a funny story about sex games. Man, your grandma listens to this podcast. I don't give a damn. My grandma knows that my grandma's part of the story. All right. Grandma Sue is. Yeah, porn parody? Harriet Rubman, the story of the Underground Railroad.

What the? Okay. I didn't know that's what he meant by, oh. That's where we're going with this? All right, sorry, continue. Porn parody. Walker. No, what were you saying?

I was talking about, I was talking about one time, my grandparents lived in Minnesota when I was a kid. So my brother and sister and I would always go up there for a few weeks out of the summer. And they would have to work some of the days that we were there. So we had to have have free range free roam of the house we would and they had a nice big house so like we were just up to hood rat shit the whole time they had cool stuff so we're playing hide and seek we used to love playing hide and seek at their house and um we go into their closet in their bedroom i look up on the shelf and up top there's this game it was like some weird like sex game, but it was like, I don't know, some like dancing doll thing.

Like, I don't know what the fuck it was. It was weird, but they had like those. Like a sex board game? I guess. I think so. And. Grandparents ropes. Yeah, they're on some freak shit.

Game night. Yeah. If you ever get invited to game night. Honey, I got us a new board game. It's called the Kama Sutra If my grandpa and grandma ever invite you to game night Just fucking tread lightly, okay? You don't know what could happen

Kitty, my line is open It's not Kitty, it's Sue So, baby Grandpa Mark's like, what the fuck is the human centipede? Jesus Christ Sue's like, you're about to find out So we're playing hide and seek What the fuck

is ass to mouth oh my god but we're playing hide and seek i look up and i see this game so i'm like zach we got to get that like we got to check it out so like i'm like lexi you go like she didn't know what was going on because obviously we're not gonna tell my eight-year-old sister that we're trying to fucking look in this box but i'm like lexi you go stand Like, she didn't know what was going on because obviously we're not going to tell my eight-year-old sister that we're trying to fucking look in this box. But I'm like, Lexi, you go stand watch. So she's out, like, standing at the top of the stairs making sure nobody's coming home from work or whatever. Zach and I are climbing up the fucking shelves in the closet to get to this game. All of the shelves ripped down.

The entire. It was three. Or it was like two. Idiots. Rows of shelves with all their clothes, all their shit on it. Ripped them out of the wall completely. And we tried to put it back on the wall, couldn't do it. So all of their clothes are laid on the floor when they get home.

I'm like, all right, guys, it's the moment of truth. We just got to come clean. It's the worst when you're sitting there for three hours just like nervous as shit because you know you got to come clean on what you did. And they're like, what were you guys doing? Oh, we're just playing hide and seek. We were just trying to hide up there. They're like, we know what you were fucking doing. We're not stupid.

Me and my buddy once tore through a hole. So, kind of similar. But we had caught wind that there was a box of Playboys in my buddy's, like, garage. That was just, like, a hoarder's, like, garage. Or it was a basement, actually. But basement slash garage, whatever. Filled to the top of just random shit, dude. But we heard that there was a box of Playboy magazines down there.

Dude, we searched for, like, months for these fucking magazines, dude, and found them. They were in the fucking ceiling. Like on top of the fucking HVAC duct thing, the fucking. Damn. You know, the fucking silver, I don't know. Duct. Yeah, the duct. They were up there.

We got them. Yeah, we got them. They were so old, dude. Boys, we we got them we're just looking at women with full bushes oh yeah this is like when i was like straight heat young in high school dude freaking but the magazines were from like the fucking 80s bro they were so they were so hairy like listen men are fucking disgusting oh yeah and like that's very well illustrated, you know, by all men, especially men in the gay community, I feel like. You know, if you ever want to find, like, a four-person orgy happening behind, like, you know. A Sam's Club?

Yeah, like, you know, behind the dumpster, go on Grindr. You can find that. They got that. But I was a little too young for this. They got that but i was a little too young for this but my cousins used to tell me they would keep like porn vhs's stashed in the woods boys we got to bring the vcr on our uh fucking on our woods adventure today like people just keep it because they don't want like their moms and shit to find it because you know i don't know back in the 80s and shit you got caught with

porn if you had like a Puritan-ass, some Puritan-ass parents, you're going straight to Vietnam. You're getting addicted to heroin and you're losing a leg. That's final, young man. Final young man. Yeah, my computer just caught a lot of viruses.

He's watching porn, send him to Nam. I had so many toolbars on my uh my fucking uh whatever the search engine was back then my firefox my mouse was like a different image you know it wasn't a mouse anymore you could change it to like a firework oh baby you i destroyed that computer oh yeah you had some crazy, crazy viruses. Dude, I won so many gift cards. You're like an iPad baby before there were iPad babies.

I saw a meme, and it's like, unfettered internet access from an early age has had devastating consequences on my development. And I truly feel it. I feel like I've, like, I wasn't sexually molested when I was a kid feel it i feel like i've like i wasn't sexually molested when i was a kid but i feel like i was because somebody showed me porn when i was like seven years old i was like so i don't like this this so now you have a raging porn addiction no we've worked through that we went to therapy you know i don I don't know, dude. Porn, like, porn's never really. I mean, you know, I was a, you know, 12 to 16-year-old boy who was jerking off like every other day. But porn's never really done it for me.

Every other. You were doing it wrong. Dude, at that age, it was like four times a day. One time minimum. A day? Yeah. Really? Dude.

What's the most you've ever hit in one day? I think six. It fucking hurt. I hit five. I haven't counted, but in my younger days, I'm up there with Austin. Six? I was an only child, but spent a lot of time alone. Your mom apparently didn't have a watchful eye.

You were downloading porn on the family computer. Yeah. I had a good, I used to get up on my own and get home and no one would be there. It's for like, I had like a two hour buffer until someone got home after school. Oh, that's money. Bro, I remember if you played, so like you could play like game trials, you didn't have to buy the full game and the game trials would run out. But if you didn't exit out of the game trial you could keep it going bro I you

I kept this one ship game going for like three weeks I would just like minimize the tab keep it down there I was like mom God damn it. And then he was gone one day. Do you know? No! All my hard work! You bitch! I wanted to go fuck prostitutes in Spain like a pirate. I wanted to get you guys' opinion. Not that I'm going to use whatever you say, but I just want to hear what y'all got to say. No, I'm not giving you my opinion.

Come on. Fuck that. After that lead-in, you piece of shit. Because they don't involve you. I just want to know what y'all got to say. All right. When I have a child. I will raise your son, yes.

When I have a. We will do this. Me and Austin have got should should me and kenzie expose our child to an ipad or a phone or try to hold out for as long as we can i would hold out for as long i don't feel like y'all are gonna be able to hold out there's two things with this right they're gonna if we hold out right which is possible they're gonna be the weird kid at school they're gonna be behind in school which is yeah because all the other kids are gonna be on fucking ipad since they've been one i don't think that matters bro zoomers are like which i like that you know it's boomers and now zoomers and we're i mean aj you're you're

millennial don't do that me and austin are in like the kind of in-between stage you know like the 90 like i was born in 97 but like the 96 to 2000 that's the in-between zoomers are like functionally um the r word god damn it i hate that we can't say that they're functionally illiterate when it comes to technology they have a great grasp over like the surface level like how it works but like if something breaks oh my god if a printer breaks my my 20 year old sister would be completely fucked she would have no idea how to fix it right and i feel like but like dude i think y'all are fucked because you both use your phones all the time.

What could go wrong with a printer, though? I'm just saying, like, it's just a piece of technology that if it breaks. I think you just, you took the wrong thing from that story, AJ. What could go wrong with a printer? Dude, so much. It wasn't really the point. No. It wasn't really the point.

Owning a printer is a life hack. I'm done. That's all I got to say. It's not a life hack. Yes, it is. It's a really the point. Owning a printer is a life hack. I'm done. That's all I got to say. It's not a life hack. It's a fucking money drain. Dude, printer ink costs more than like. It does. It does.

Like Monet champagne. It does. It's fucking stupid. So you think that we're, since me and Kenzie are a little bit older, we're going to have to give. No, you're fucked, dude. You use your phone. What's your screen time a day?

Oh, dude, bro. I use your phone. What's your screen time a day? Oh, dude. Bro, I bet it's bad for you. I did a 10-hour shift today, and I probably got 10 hours of screen time. God dang. Your kid's not going to just gravitate to the iPad? You think I'm just going to be on TikTok watching AI fucking TikTok NPCs while the kid's sitting right here? Yes. 100%.

What are you going to be doing? Sitting there looking at the kid? Yeah. Bro, you're going to do that for the kids sitting right here. Yes. 100%. That's what you're going to be doing. You think you're not going to do that? Looking at the kid. Yeah. Bro, you're going to do that for like the first month at most. Yeah, for like three months. Yeah. I'll go in the other room and do it.

Bro, it's just like, it's just learned behavior. You think Kenzie's going to put down the fucking TikTok? Hell no. Are you kidding me? Maybe like, yeah, give her a couple months but fucking like we're not gonna the kid we're not gonna be like it's kind of hard to say this because the kid isn't obviously born yet but like if the kid's crying in the restaurant i can't i literally can't see us handing it the phone to shut it up like no you just wait till that kid's crying in that restaurant that's fair listen we're

gonna leave i love i love the snatch out method. Sorry. But AJ. It's learned behavior, bro. Y'all are on your phones all the time. The kid wants to do what you do. For sure. And also, the kid's going to want to do, I mean, this might be a little bit later on. The kid's going to be on a skateboard because I'm going to build a minivan. The kid's going to be going to daycare or preschool.

And all the other kids are going to be talking about whatever the kids are watching on their iPads these days. We're Amish. Their phones. And the kids are going to be like, I don't know about that. And then they're going to be freaking behind, like Walker's saying. Look, son. Look, daughter. We're Amish.

We're Amish, so we don't use that stuff. I feel like it's so – me and Austin, we have completely different parental situations in terms of age. You can say that. My mom had me when she was 36. My mom had me when she was 17, and my dad was 19. My parents have always been old as fuck, older than all my other friends' parents. I grew up on like you know lame ass like 70s rock like eric clapton was like the only that's fire dude yeah it's fine

but like i didn't hear like a real rap album until i was in like middle school you know like all like i grew up on that like my cool culture came from like my friends and like shit i learned in school it's kind of it's kind of interesting this guy grew up on fucking r kelly well my dad my aunt my dad's sister and like our family was all really like super close and tight and uh we didn't even listen to music she would um she would put music on our ipod touches or our ipod shuffles and uh my grandparents were not happy with the music selection that she put because she's like I don't know she's only like eight or ten years older than me or something so like she she just put what she listened to on it so I had like all like the new rap music like from

the time I was like eight years old my grandparents were not happy with what we were listening to i think i've i think i've told the story in the pod but i uh i loved 50 cent and in the club was one of the best bangers of all time it is a fucking banger so i printed out the lyrics at one of my my friend's house uh one of my mom's friend's house because she had a printer it was like you know two white women in their early 40s my mom was like i need I need to see those lyrics before you can just go off and start singing this. It's in the club. It's horribly demeaning to white women. And she was like, no, I'm taking a Sharpie and crossing these words out. So she gave me it back, and there was like 16 words left on the fucking... A redacted version of your lyrics.

Oh, dude. That's trash. I haven't listened to a censored song since. What's your favorite 50 Cent song, AJ, if you have one? Fucking 50 Cent. I don't know. I think that's Rick Ross. No, it ain't, dude.

I don't know. I think that's Rick Ross. No, it ain't, dude. I don't know. Many men. Many men is definitely top one, but I can't think of the song I'm trying to think. The one I was just... My favorite song is potentially... My top... One of my favorite is 20 Questions. That little love song he wrote for that girl.

Oh, my God. That song's a banger, dude. Fucking soft, boy. If I... Would you still love me? Yeah, I'm sure that's what you was telling that girl. Fucking soft boy. If I, would you still love me? Yeah, I'm sure that's what you was telling that girl last night.

If I smoke weed, would you still love me? Exactly what I was telling her. I, uh, so I spent a lot of my life listening to, like, censored songs. And there's one

that really stands out. Oh. It's Fack by Eminem. Oh, God. Because, what is the censored version of that? Shove a gerbil up your... So most censored songs just go like,

you know, they just have the beep. Yeah. Fack switched up the noise effects. So it's like, let me put my boing-oing-oing in. Oh! Yeah, it switched up the sound effects and it makes the song so much better For some reason

The censored version of fact is better than the original The original is aggressive as fuck It's wild I remember listening to it and I was like Oh my A gerbil Where is it going It's going in the asshole i literally asked my

mom i was like i uh with a little rascal nibble on your asshole i was like evan m talked about uh putting a pvc pipe up his ass and letting a gerbil crawl in is that real and she was like yeah gay guys do that sometimes what i was like what is this actually a thing yes hey real way real quick yeah well some of the real fucked up, gay guys will let. That's animal abuse. Real quick. Yeah, probably. Well, some of the real fucked up ones, they'll literally let like. I don't know if I want to know, Walker. Small mice or shit crawl up in their ass.

Okay, we got to stop. Take the pipe out. Let them. Nope. Stop. Please stop. Please stop. So they get off on like the power of, you know, killing a small animal inside their fucking

You've been on the internet too long. Yes. Hey, do you know where Eminem was born at? I'm scarred. Some dumb shit state? Yes. Missouri? Missouri?

Missouri? No. Arkansas? No. Illinois? Where was he born? Missouri. You fucking asshole.

I knew it. I didn't know that until today, actually. I was gonna quiz Austin on Eminem sex Go ahead Hit me I'm a savant

I'm an Eminem savant What's his What's his Average beat per minute Hold on No no no What did Eminem Want to do as a career path

Like besides Before he started rapping Heroin Pills Munchausen syndrome? No idea. Hold on. He wanted to do heroin. Comic book writer.

Damn it. I didn't know that one. He can draw a little bit. You guys got anything else for me? Nope. What's his daughter's cup size? Probably C. I don't fucking know. She is kind of bad though. She's a fucking know. She is kind of bad, though. She's a looker.

She's a good-looking lady. Yeah, so. Yep. You got nothing for me? All right. Who's got a bigger dick, AJ or Eminem? Probably AJ, if I had to guess. There's a reason he raps so angrily.

Dude. He's making up for something. Now, I am a self-proclaimed big Eminem hater. Oh, me too. But he... Because there's fucking haters. He will always... Yes, I just said a bit of that.

Oh, yeah. But he will always have my respect because he fucked Mariah Carey. Yeah, he did. She came out and said he had a little dick and he came fast. And he dropped a diss dick and he came fast and he dropped a diss track where he basically originated, I still beat though. Yeah. Man's a legend.

He destroyed Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the time. That is true. He beat Nick Cannon so bad Nick Cannon had to create a roast show just to soothe his ego. Wild and out. Wild and fucking out. That's what you're talking about.

Dude, I love the white guys that go on that show and it's just like, oh my God, he made a black joke. It's like that's just like the whole shtick. White people cannot be funny. You know Matt Rice was on that show? Yeah. It's weird.

I didn't know when I saw that. He's an industry plant. You think so? Who's Matt Rice? Bro, the thing is... He's a new comedian like big jesus all the girls walker all the girls are going crazy for him on tiktok and shit like he blew up like this year i don't have tiktok it don't matter he's going on i wouldn't know who he has his own show but um i don't know if he's not on one of the four podcasts i listen to he doesn't't exist. Can we talk about industry plants? You'd be like, oh, damn, Matt Rife came out of nowhere.

No, the motherfucker's been on one. He's clearly a plant. What does that even mean? A plant means that you didn't just go from no one to being a successful. Nobody does. I'm saying 90% of Hollywood and musicians he already was in one

major situation if you're on Wild N' Out you're clearly known well enough to be on Wild N' Out they don't just put anybody on there he's been grinding since he was like 14 doing comedy shows and shit but like I don't know I'd just say industry plant

you were already on a famous, like, show on TV. I feel like all Nepo babies are super plants, bro. So, like, if we all get on, like, a TV show one day or some shit, like, are we industry plants? Yeah, we started in the pocket. Like, we started out here and that's where we get. It depends on how big, like, you're, like, no one knew about Matt Rife at all. Yeah. Until. He blew up on TikTok. Wiling out, right? I, no one knew about Matt Rife at all. Yeah. Until.

He blew up on TikTok. Wiling out, right? I feel like nobody knew about him. No, I'm saying, but he's still on Wiling Out, though. Like, he's still on TV and shit. Yeah. Okay. And then he goes from that to now being even more famous on doing his stand-up shit.

Yeah. So, it's like, we we if we went from just doing this we're no like we're okay we might have a small following right well if we go to a tv show and then we go back to like i just like i feel like we'd have to be like out doing it somewhere you know like oh we were signed with this person or, like, we had these big celebrities on beforehand. You lost me. Yeah, so. We're not plants, bro.

We're not already on some famous shit. What do you mean? I'm a plant. I do think you're a plant. Walker is low-key a plant. I think he was sent here. Walker, who sent you? Be honest.

Wait, so are we just not going to talk about how the. Hold on. I got to figure something out real quick. Walker, who sent sent you and why the fucking aliens that they just confirmed are real like where at legit walker you're you're not like most let's be honest let's be real this motherfucker you right here is not real he's not real explain yourself please we want we want to know okay but we've been watching y'all for a while and you got some shit twisted the way you're talking is actually scaring the fuck out of me i know but thank you for the likes thank you for the glizzies oh god i'm gonna have nightmares chili spicy hot

aj god i just i'm trying to scare you off, dude. The way that Walker just... I'm trying to scare you off. They just sent the bioweapons. The way Walker just looked at AJ. He's like, dude, that's not even funny to me. Dude, just such intense hatred just came over to me. But thank God. Thanks for the roses. Talking with

Walkboys. We're back, baby. And I've got a scorcher this week. Sorry, Austin. You're back, baby. And I've got a scorcher this week. Sorry, Austin. You're good. I think rap music has peaked. I think rap music peaked between the years of 2007, between 2015. And I think if you take a look at the history of music, you know, like jazz peaked in the 60s. I'd say rock music peaked in the 80s.

Like, you know, it's not necessarily cyclical like music is something where like it the best works sometimes are just crafted by a very few artists and i think that's kind of happened with rap you know i feel like the new styles it's just like i don't know maybe that's just my personal opinion i see where you're coming from i never thought about it like that like the other like like you're saying rock music's kind of i mean obviously there's still rock music but it's not like the 80s 60s 70s and 80s were like fucking yeah the shit like these shit you know like you had like the foundational and that's what rap has been for a while now so i wonder what's next fucking edm like that's the next thing coming in or some shit yeah i really djs are like everything what is going to be like the next style of music what's next

the match i mean i feel like edm's already there yeah it is it is be the next style of music that pops off? I feel like EDM is already there. It is. It's popping, but is that the next wave for the next 20 years? I feel like the EDM wave almost kind of happened. I feel like house music was kind of like the EDM wave. Right. Is Margie Wally

bringing country back? No. Single-handedly? Him and Luke Bryan? Pop country. Well, I mean, it is. They have been a top in the charts recently. Luke Bryan. Fucking Luke Combs. I mean, my fault.

Dude, I've never heard a Morgan Wallen song. Yes, you have. Yeah, you definitely have. I don't think so. And I see people on Instagram that go to his concerts, and it's like a religious experience people love that guy it's similar to taylor swift um but like put it this way dude tune in the next podcast uh my segment will be exclusively about taylor swift we could we could drive to michigan

right now and we could throw morgan wallen on and i swear to, you could make it like seven hours without skipping a fucking song, dude. That's insane. I don't believe that. I'm dead fucking serious. My favorite artist in the world doesn't do that. You've heard some Morgan Wallen. Last night, we let the liquor talk. You know?

No. Last night, we let the Perkies talk. That sounds more familiar. Different version. You're on a different side of things. I've been really hyped. Dude, I legit don't think I've ever heard a Morgan Wallen song. We can do this after this.

If you went to any restaurant or anything, you've heard it. But I'm really big on TikTok again. These DJs doing these mashups. Oh, my God. They're so fucking fire. Like Big Booty Mix? No, I'm talking about like. fucking fire. Like Big Booty Mix? Like, I'm talking about, like... Big Booty.

Big Booty 7. Okay, have you guys heard the Peaches and Eggplants song? No. By Young Nudie? No. It's the one that's like... Oh, yeah. Yes.

Well, they mixed that with Finito, and oh, my... Like, the transition from once... I'd fucking off myself in the club bro like as far as like lose your shit i think i'd hyperventilate in the corner that's like so fire or like when they mix it with like with like mo bamba or like dude just like oh it's just fucking they do get off some clean transition no dude it's these new these motherfuckers on tiktok just doing it for TikTok, and they're fired. I mean, even seeing the live crowd reactions are fired, too.

But, dude, they're insane. There's some sweet-ass DJs out there. Oh, yeah. I wonder how much they charge for. I know one that's out of Charlotte. His name's, I think he's going by DJ Juicy J, but I'm not really sure. It's fucking Juicy J. Yeah, shout out my shout out my

man's jared tinsman look him up on spotify he's got some heat out there right now i uh or not spotify soundcloud my bad he'll never hear this so i feel comfortable he might he might he said he's been listening he said he got behind he said he got behind everyone gets behind who knows if he'll pick it back up before you know it you're 10 episodes behind I actually listened to his His in the gym Like two days last week What his mix? His mix yeah Was it decent?

He's got some fire Yeah he's got some shit I was hitting that treadmill Hard as fuck Jared's actually like I will say that about Jared As much of a fucking idiot As you are buddy

You are Very musically inclined To a certain extent I would say He's got the best ab lips But he's like Scott Storch in this bitch. I don't know who that is. Are you

kidding me? Did you say Scott Storch? You don't know who Scott Storch is? Neither one of you? No. Is it a DJ? Is it a rapper? You fucking idiot. You fool. You better say something that I damn that I should know. If you say some dumb shit, you're going to piss me off. You better say something that I damn, that I should know.

If you say some dumb shit, you're going to piss me off. You better say something I respect. Scott Storch. Who is this? Like, one of the most, I guess it's not. Who is it? He's like a fucking record label producer. Is he from Detroit?

No. Oh, he's like Suge Knight. Kind of. Is he that dude in Dave? No. The guy with the red hair? I don't want to sound. You're thinking of Andrew Santino.

I'm over here acting like I know Scott Storino. I'm over here acting like I know Scott... I'm over here acting like I know Scott Storch and shit, but honestly... Benny Blanco? Yeah. I haven't talked about Scott Storch in so long, I forgot what he does. All right, so you're shitting on us. You don't even know what the fucking guy does. You don't know who...

Oh, I don't know who he is either. Dude, third season of Dave is fire if you guys haven't tried to try it. Hit that. No, you guys are going to be pissed when you figure this out. Go ahead. I don't know. What are we waiting on? I have to piss.

If he's so unremarkable, you don't even know. Bro, I forgot. Life happens, bro. Yeah, your little dick made a little kid. He's a producer and songwriter, bro. Life's a garden. Name one of his songs. Oh, okay.

Trash. Still Dre. Trash. Candy Shop shop just a little bit run it not trash not trash not bro not trash last what's trash i don't know that song what is it run it what is that chris brown bro oh i'm done oh fuck name fuck. Name one more. I'll keep going. It's a lot of 50 Cent and old shit, bro. His name's Scott Stewart. Scott Storch, bro.

Him and Paris Hilton and shit. 50 lost so much respect in my life. Is that the dude in the sex tape? He put Paris Hilton's pussy out there? No, bro. That's fucked. Fuck. All right, AJ. That's fucked. Fuck. All right, AJ, I don't really want to talk about Scott Storch anymore.

What I do want to talk about is wrapping up this podcast. Boys, I think we had a good episode. And, yeah. Do you guys got anything you want to say to finish her out? I want to say, God damn it, LeBron. I hope your son's all right, man. LeBron even went into cardiac arrest at USC. That's tough, man. Yeah. I hope your son's all right, man. Bronny didn't win a cardiac arrest at USC. That's tough, man.

Yeah. It's that damn shot. This was what I was talking about. People are just so eager to get off jokes now. Even though you're completely sincere and not believing that, that was a joke. Man, a 19-year-old kid, cardiac arrest. It's just like nobody's got any fucking time for it.

Well, that's the first thing the idiot's going to say. Underground Railroad documentary coming out this fall. Documentary is an interesting word for that. But, yeah, like I've said before, search us everywhere. Always Laugh Podcast. Any platform you can imagine, just type it in, and you can watch us. You can listen to us. You can do what you want.

But, yeah, thanks for listening to another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast. My name is Austin Lane. My name is AJ, and we're going to throw the boxing gloves on soon. I'm Walker. All right. I can't wait. AJ, can we meet at 205? We'll do a boxing match at 205. You're still going to win, bud. AJ, can we meet at 2.05? We'll do a boxing match at 2.05.

You're still going to win, bud. Hey, hey, hey. We out. Love you, people.