Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #30 - Walker has a Crush on the Sexy Bartender Next Door

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

This episode we talk about premarital sex, walker being controversial, TikTok taking over Google, and the hot bartender. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj this is the number one podcast you've never heard of let's go i'm walker guys no nickname this week wow i got the energy today don't play with me oh yeah why are your mic tilted like that you look goofy dude why i'm kidding i'm kidding i was kidding a joke. We have a roommate, Jared Tinsman. And one of the moments that sticks out just intimately in my mind is one time Jared was in the apartment. He was going on a date with his girlfriend at the time. And he was like, boys, do you all like these pants? That's a setup. Three people were like, yeah, I like them.

Yeah, they're good. Yeah, they're cool. And I was was like not my favorite went and changed pants it's like bro how did you how did you listen to my comment you got three people gas the thing is he probably had it in his mind that he was going to change before he asked no not if he would have got four yeses he would have kept them well i mean that's anyone oh yeah who gets the whole point the whole point is that he got self-conscious just like you're he would have kept them. Well, I mean, that's anyone. Oh, yeah. Who gets four yeses in this? The whole point is that he got self-conscious.

Just like you're getting self-conscious about the mic. I'm good, bro. I know my... I've gotten yelled at. You got it sticking straight up. You think that mic is going to change what people think of you? You think that's what's going to do it? You think your fucking mirror sunglasses are doing it for anybody?

No. I can wash myself vaping in them. They're pretty sick. I'm purposely trying not to look at the camera so they can't see the entire setup in the background. They can just see the plants off of your reflection right now. It's just glancing off. They can see your guys' faces in my sunglasses. So how are we living, boys?

It's been a minute since we've done one of these podcasts. I know. What's going on? Why do we keep doing that? We's been a minute since we've done one of these podcasts. I know. What's going on? Why do we keep doing that? Like, we keep going so long without doing a pod. But, like, somehow we still drop one every week. I think we're losing commitment. Really?

When's the last time we even did one? We're trying to bundle up. Like, two weeks ago? Dang. I think when we get rich and, like, famous, when we get rich and famous, we're going to be fine because, like Because you literally go out of state every week. You go out of state every week. You're busier than shit.

I'm busier than shit. And if we all get individually famous, we'll be fine. Because our schedules are already fucked. Let alone if we fucking actually just did this for a living. We'll be fine. True. AJ, you and I have almost zero shot of getting famous. I know, but I'm trying.

That is not true. It's absolutely true. Austin, you're in the social media sphere. So, like, you. Well, you guys are, too. Believe it or not. It doesn't. Okay.

Okay. It doesn't feel that way. Okay. So, maybe AJ is once y'all drop the new series. But, like, you're in consistent videos from consistent videos from somebody who's huge on social media. Nobody gives a fuck about a manager at a retail store and a douchebag at a fucking consulting firm. Nobody gives a fuck. So it's not going to happen for us.

That is not true because we don't talk about it. I mean, once in a while we'll mention what you guys are up to but like that what you guys are doing doesn't really affect what the outcome is going to be i'm gonna get really famous with like q anon you know they're like i don't even pick up all the codes on this guy's speech you know i don't even want to be famous Obama is actually from Kenya I don't really Yeah dude I didn't know that No shit buddy

What does it matter Like we This is old news I'm from fucking That's not true Obama's actually from Hawaii Is he why Alright okay

He has a Canadian mother And a Russian father I was joking before About AJ's mic That shit is really Irritating me though Why is it Why is it straight

Bricked up in front of your face Jesus Christ Can we get you right please like that whatever you need at least talk into it my fault gang um thank you what the fuck was that you just fucked me up dude fucking somebody needed to i was about to say some oh my god this is bad bro no i got question. I want to really ask the viewers this, too. I want everyone to comment down below if you think I'm going to have a boy or a girl. Because on the next pod coming out after this, you'll know if it's a boy or a girl.

And I'm about to have a kid. Oh, that's true. I'm pretty lit. I have a perfect section of force that AJ and Ken, you're going to burn down. Because that's the thing with gender reveals, you know? They burn down a force? Yeah. That's a joke from like four years ago so like what what does that mean like gender reveal parties are bad for the environment or something well there was like there was i think

it was like 2018 or some shit like that and there was like five or six gender reveal reveal parties where they you know like we're shooting off shit in the woods and they call they caused huge forest fires across californ, like, 2018. Can I tell you guys something that I find absurdly fascinating? No. Yes. You guys come to me, and you guys always, each of you, both of you, and other people too, but you guys say shit to me

about things that are happening or that have happened and whatever, and it's always different shit from different people and i'm like where are you guys like what do you guys do on a daily basis that fills your brain with these random fucking things like what did we say that was so out there i mean that wasn't out there it's just like i don't know i've thought about this a lot actually like aj will be like you ever heard of fucking blah, blah, blah? I'm like, all right. Yeah, you watch a lot of TikTok.

And I'm assuming Walker's just like Reddit and fucking Twittered out. Not so much Twitter nowadays. Reddit out. It's really lost its flavor. Ever since Elon did his bullshit. Nah, I don't really give a fuck about Elon. TikTok is the new Google, by the way. That's not true.

100% true. 100% not true. 100% true. It's 100% not true. Okay. Google sucks, but that's different. TikTok is not the new Google. Well, YouTube is owned by Google. But the thing that separates platforms from other platforms is when they can be used as a search engine. For instance, TikTok and YouTube can be used as a search engine.

Maybe. The last time I was on TikTok, I wasn't finding anything useful when I would search. You haven't gave their algorithm enough love for it to really curate videos for you. Motherfucker, you have no idea the hours I put into TikTok. Dude, I don't cry. Walker, do you think you'll ever slip up again?

Do you think you'll ever fall off the wagon? I don't think so. You're done with it? I don't know. It's just like i've tried to condition myself against like videos under like a minute under a minute i'm just like uh this ain't shit you know it's i'm not like really the thing about tiktok that you don't like and this is something that i absolutely experienced bro like my day, I was putting in like three, four hours a day on TikTok.

Right. Like TikTok is, it's sorting through 98% of the videos, which are just absolute trash. And 2% of the videos, which are the funniest, most creative, most interesting videos you've ever seen in your life. And those keep you coming. Bro, it's literally like a drug. Oh, for sure. We have no idea how much corporate psychology. AJ, if you don't put your motherfucking phone down.

I'm getting you a stat. God damn now. I'm getting you a stat. Also, while we... We're going to let AJ... Usually when people have stats for things, they come prepared. They're not looking up on Google, which you said was the search engine of the past. I think we should stop talking about social media because we kind of did that last pod and, like, fucking cares.

Damn, you can remember. Three hours on TikTok today. What's the next topic? The next topic is, ladies and gentlemen, drumroll, please. Nice, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Premarital sex and conceiving a child out of wedlock. That is what the next topic is.

I find it disgusting. I think it's absolutely absurd that that happens. When people conceive a bastard. Marriage. Yeah. A bastard. It grows up you your kid's gonna grow up without a father figure because you're not married to your wife you and my cousin sinners fucking sinners you guys were doing that shit you're not even married yet i had a buddy that said that he

thought we were cordial mark medina i don't know what you were talking about, but he said and I quote, I thought you guys were cordial when we said we're having a baby. What does that mean? Did he mean like abstinence? He thought we were just like friends. Cordial? Friends who have lived together for

six years and moved to a different state. Longer than that, like 10 years. Dude, even crazier. Consistent? Yeah. Walker, can we talk about one thing? Ten years consistent. Walk.

Nine. I mean, like ten years. AJ, you are not even trying to talk into your fucking mic. Dude, it's over here, bud. It was over here. Dude, you spent how much on these mics and I can't even talk? Bro, why are you holding it? You're not new to this, dude.

Just because you're in a... AJ, you've only been with your girl like six years. Quit playing. You know she's not going to watch this. You're not going to get in trouble. I know what's fact and what ain't. Listen, AJ, put the fucking mic in front of your face. Put the executive producer to not show enough.

Please, I'm begging you. Bro, relax. Don't tell me to relax. One time when Kinzie was executive producing, she took her headphones off so she could ignore us better and watch TikTok. All right, we're not here to shit on Kenzie. AJ. I'm not shitting on Kenzie. AJ, please do better with your fucking mic, all right?

My fucking mic is fine, dude. Yeah, now it is. Put your sunglasses back on. Now, you look like you've had a long day. You pissed me off. I only worked 10 hours a day. Fucking did this fucking shit. Walker, you and AJ and myself went and had a drink at the bar before the podcast.

Yes. The bar next door. Sweet. When we were leaving, right before we left, the bartender, she's a cute gal. She's fine as fuck. I don't fuck with her. I don't fuck with her at all. All right, all right.

She's fine as fuck. She says to Walker, she says to Walker right before we leave, so you're making me dinner, right? I was like, whoa. And then I'm leaving. I'm leaving, and I'm like i'm like bye so and so and she's like she's like oh i'll see you later i'm like well all right so is there a whole fucking dinner party going on in our house tonight the lengths i will go to get pussy is just is that what's going on here uh you know we're friends so shoot me straight is she coming over

or not no oh well Oh. No, absolutely not. I'm just making her dinner because I'm a fucking simp. So how are you going to make her dinner if she's not coming over? Pass it over the fence? He was going to give it to her at work. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you're going to give it to her

at work. You think he's having her pull up? No, no, no. He's pulling up. Bro, so I made her dinner two months ago, maybe. A month ago. The fuck? Where was I? Sleeping in bed. I think you were here.

Walker's getting active. You were with some girl, I think, at the time. God damn it. So I made sausages on the grill and I texted her. Because the bar is literally... We share a backyard. The backyard is, yeah, right there. So I texted her. I the bar is literally we share a backyard. The backyard is yeah. So I text her I was like hey you want a sausage?

Just happened to be a sausage? She was like yeah. And I was like okay. I come outside and you know like I went and handed her a sausage through like the fence link. You handed her a rogue link. Oh yeah. through the links it was a cheddar jalapeno sausage and it was did you enjoy it a brat

yeah did you give her i didn't enjoy it did you give her good sausage not not the correct one ah ah the brat worse you better exactly you know i i like i shout out drew baldy when you're making beer brats you gotta boil them and then fry them it is true you gotta boil if you do it in vinegar and onions that's good holy fuck yeah but yeah anyway i am a uh gigantic sim bro if you cut light well i'll basically do whatever you cut like walker look at my roommate. I let Austin go. I let Austin get away with so much, literally, not even because I like him, because he's attractive.

Like, that's the only reason, you know? Like, Austin gets away with so much because he looks good. Our friendship means nothing to me. It's only because he's attractive. Because he has a nice bone structure, that's why I give him so much. I don't even look at him. I'm doing my worst. I'm doing my best to ruin that. I'm trying

to drink myself and eat myself and fucking whatever. See, now you just got the bad boy, don't give a fuck look. And that's even hotter. Oh my God. I'm ready to jump your bones big boy. Walker, you say... When we meet each other in the bathroom one time at like 2 a.m., I'm going to bend you over the toilet bowl and fuck you.

They do live together. I appreciate you not trying to sugarcoat what you're going to do, okay? If you're going to do it, you better fucking don't talk about it. No euphemisms around here, daddy. You know what I'm saying? Bend me over and fuck me. don't bend me over and have your way i don't who knows what that means fuck me don't have your way i know what that means i come here specifically for the podcast and then i leave yeah aj is afraid right now that uh his friends are thinking he's gay aj are you gay why are you acting like that's a bad thing?

AJ, are you gay? This fucking guy. Are you gay? Are you whipped? Are you whipped? I'm the only one around this motherfucker that has in-house coochie. I've had more. I've gotten more ass than you, guarantee.

Why you fucking simps are bringing girls lunch that don't even want dinner or whatever the fuck. Don't even want dinner or whatever the fuck don't even want lunch whatever dude like you had a runway to absolutely destroy me insult wise that's all i got only ages so that's all completely destroy it that's all i got that's all i got and i'm not trying to destroy you i'm saying get off my nuts i know because you don't have that like that killer instinct of what that's why you're having a kid out of wedlock you know you don't have that killer instinct. Of what? That's why you're having a kid out of wedlock. You don't have that killer instinct. I come from a family of killer instincts.

You exclusively deal in half measures. He's like, I come from a family of murderers, dude. All they do is kill. Bro, you deal in half measures. You proposed, didn't marry her, you got her pregnant, didn't have a kid yet. All you do is half measures, bro. Bro, have either one. Okay.

None of those things have even expired yet, bro. Like the date hasn't expired yet on the kid. It's fucking. All right. I don't think that's the right way to say that. Backtrack a little bit. I'm saying like I got time. There's no expiration date on the

situation i got time there's what seven joe byron's america i got like seven months on the kid okay we might get married before then unless your kid is extremely late term you're gonna have it before seven i know however many just like three and a half months pregnant. August, September, October, November, December. Yeah. Six months. Sorry, dude. Six months. Yeah.

And I said seven. My fault. That's a big deal. Oh, my God. Kenji would be bursting at the seams. I think we should try to be nice to each other now. She would be mad if I was just off top. Yeah, but she's not going to listen to this, so it's fine.

She's going to listen to this. No, she's not. She does listen to everyone. She listens to him now that she's not going to listen to this, so it's fine. She's going to listen to this. No, she's not. She does listen to everyone. She listens to him now that she's not here because she wants to make sure AJ's not saying dumbass shit. Oh, she's not going to be happy with me. No. She listens to them more now. Hey, Kenty, Kenty, a birthday shower's still on

at my parents' house. Yeah, birthday shower. Baby shower. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Well, either way, it's a birthday. It is a birthday. way, it is a birthday. Technically, it is a birthday. I just want to say we're getting really desperate for guests. We were about to just yell out off the porch,

we need a guest on the podcast. There's probably nine people over there. Bro, I've got so many guests lined up. Yeah, me too, honestly. You just don't want to talk to them. AJ is desperate for guests. I've exhausted my options. Literally, AJ, you work at the ideal employment place for a good podcast i i got some country boys that want to be on but i don't think y'all ready they literally are ready they

just text me no our audience isn't ready for them to be dropping the m-bomb over and over all right they deal with your ass walker like what i've not said a single slur on here, bitch. You kind of have. What do you classify as a slur? A racial slur. Oh, only racial slurs? What other slur have I said? You said the R word. When?

When you were doing the Donald Trump bit. Did I actually say it? Yes. Oh, that's fire. Well, that's just because I'm cool as fuck, fuck honestly and you guys just can't handle that that's true i've been growing out my goatee area of my mustache and situation the r word the r word is not a slur yes it is no it's not do you think mongoloid's a slur probably no i mean ask mongoloid is what they called uh retarded people before you could say that. And then that word went out

of Vogue and now you can't say the art word anymore. They put that in Vogue? I think so. There's been a Down Syndrome person who's modeled for Vogue. Alright, I don't know why we're talking about this. Walker, it's your number one goal to just be as controversial as possible

lately. Can you explain to the audience why you have been doing this? Because the Facebook numbers are exploding, and I think it's solely due to my alt-right views now. Okay. Yeah. AJ, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think that is acceptable?

As long as we're getting the numbers up. But the thing is, we're not even clipping your bits. No, we are literally... We're doing everything we can. we're not even like clipping your your bits no we are literally can't we are purposely anytime walker's getting going off the rails we're like cut that not cut we don't even cut it we don't clip it though it doesn't get clipped but still on there though i mean these these uh these people might really be watching the pot i still wonder like if more than than 30 people watch the whole podcast. Dude, did y'all ever hear a person talk before 2016? Well, yeah, but they weren't.

I am so tame compared to like 2016. Yeah, but you have a platform now. It's completely different. Like you could drop the N-bomb. Nobody gives a fuck what I say. Yes, they do. The only people keeping me in check are Beth and Marco. That is not true at all.

That ain't bad, though. And it's bad. That ain't bad. It's bad that you think Marco. That is not true at all. That ain't bad, though. And it's bad that you think that. That is not the right mentality to have. Why? Okay, just because our views are what they are right now, you think, like... No, I'm not going to answer to random people on the internet. Walker, all you do is judge what random people on the internet do. Exactly.

And I've learned that if people listen to me, they're a fucking idiot. So why would they listen when I judge them? Why would I listen when they judge me? But do you not think that the way people view you or view what you think about certain situations matters? Not really. I know you're lying through your fucking teeth right now. Why won't you tell the truth? Only in-person shit lines matters to me, bro.

Like, one hour a week I act a fool? The only one hour that anybody else will ever hear you. Like, you could walk around the house and drop the hard R. Drop the hard R all through the fucking house. And nobody would ever know about it. People hear me all the time. But as soon as it's going to be posted everywhere, you're like, let's talk about it now. And I'm not dropping the hard R.

Well, yeah, I know. But only one person in here drops the hard R. That's true. AJ is out of control. Don't do that. You just, you have no idea how mad you just made AJ. He's like, don't put that on me. He just started sweating.

Give him my fucking bush light, bro. Leave me alone, bro. AJ doesn't drop the hard R. Nobody does. Your shirt matched the fucking beard, dude. Where's your matching shirt? That's pretty cool. He said, what color shirt do I have on?

I said, a fucking white tee. I said, a white tee? He's like, it's light pink. It is. It's not white. It's not white. You got a white tee on, bitch. I don't.

You got an off-white tee on, bitch. I got hard water, asshole. Thanks. All right, what was um what at what point in your life were you guys the poorest least amount of money most stressed now recession okay respect that recession oh well personally. No, no, no, I'm lying. Yeah, you're fucking full of shit. Like, fucking seventh grade, dude. Maybe even ninth grade.

What was, like, the biggest, what was, all right, whatever your answer is, what is, like, the largest indicator of not having a couple dollars? Yeah. Like, what is, like, something that, like, proved, like proved like damn i really am fucking broke i can't even blah blah blah we stopped buying hot hot dog buns and used a white bread for hot dog buns all right so you guys you guys got there at some point i respect that that's good that's all i got that's it so all right i never worried about the hot dog but where the hot dog current come from, you know?

I just had to switch my buns out. Yeah, yeah. You know, pretty terrible. Can't compare shit to shit. See, like, you know, yeah, that's true. It's like, you know, it's so hard to, like, compare shit like that because, you know, like, everyone's trauma is the worst thing they've ever gone through. So, it's like, you can't really've ever gone through so it's like you can't

really say oh my shit's worse than your shit it's like but like when you know your shit's worse than somebody else's shit you can definitely like sit back and kind of laugh at it like this fucking pussy doesn't even get it i wasn't talking about you you absolutely are yes you fucking do i know austin has such a problem you know silver spoon grew up, you know, silver spoon in the mouth. That is not true. Which is only like 95% true. And that is absolutely true. Those hot dog buns are the only 5%.

Mine was probably. Austin has such a problem with any problem in my life. That is not true. That's true. That is not true. Childhood wise, yes. No, that is bullshit. That's true that is not true childhood wise yes no that's bullshit that's not bullshit that is complete bullshit when have i ever made that thing it's

just jealous like three weeks ago about what the fucking like the biggest problem i have with my mother you were like see that's just like so crazy soft shit yeah see exactly that's a soft shit i'm not gonna say it on the fucking podcast see but like trauma is relative and you know when you've had it worse you always think you're you know but you like i don't know no not no take a stance of superiority because you've suffered more i just find it interesting what affects different people we're not comparing traumas but what i'm trying to say is mine was taking bottles back to buy necessities, not to get snacks and candy or a fucking drink from the gas station. We were buying fucking toilet paper. One pie, baby eggs.

My mom was one of those ladies who was who would rather be. This is so wild to me and i swear she hates me for saying this but i have gotten mad at my mom for so many times for struggling living a harder life than she really would have to and the alternative to that was simply just applying for food stamps that we'd be all right she'd rather struggle and fucking like just have a hard-ass life than just go apply for like assistance because she just had such a bad view on she was trying to thug it out dog bro but i'm saying such a the bag is waiting you want to go ball out at the grocery store or you want to count fucking i mean we still count them with the government gift card, but still.

And that is such a uniquely American mindset. It's like, no, I'm not going to take any help from anyone. I've got this by myself. Why would you ever operate like that? If they're offering, they take as much as they want from you, free will. Exactly. If they're offering some fucking money. Oh, yeah. I fully agree with taking every bit of advantage of the government.

Especially if you have a kid or something. Come on. You got to have any advantage you have out there. Yeah. And everything was fine. And to call food stamps an advantage is like a fucking. It's a life hack. It's not a life hack.

It's a deeply lacking program, but it's better than nothing oh fuck yeah dude i support food simps a thousand percent bro bro i i won't shop at a gas station that says no ebt on this on the side you know the owner's just a bitch yeah they're a fucking why won't you accept ebt it doesn't make any sense like unless there's some i don't know there's probably i know there's some sort of write-off involved but they probably have to pay it's like oh you actually have to pay taxes on people that paid with ebt it's some shit like that to fuck over the store human trafficking ass bullshit i don't know what that means but yes i agree um so how do you guys so like i just like no one's talking about aliens.

Everyone's like, we don't give a fuck about aliens being confirmed. We're worried about paying our rent in this economy. Bro, until E.T. shows up, I don't give a fuck. That's one of my favorite tweets of all time, by the way. It's like, if me and my friends found E.T., we would have beat him to death with hammers, I'll tell you that. Jesus Christ. That's so fucked. found et we would have beat him to death with hammers i'll tell you that jesus christ that's so fucked and uh boys come on i wouldn't have beat him to death with a hammer et would have beat the shit out of humans bro and you find a little that finger disgusting looking alien thing in the street with your boys because you know it have killed it. Yeah. Like when you're with, it's different.

People by themselves, boys especially, between the ages of like 8 and 14, they're mostly normal. If you get them in a group of more than three, they turn into absolute like serial killer psychopaths, bro. It's crazy. It's pretty

sick. I remember in middle school it's that mob mentality, sick i remember in middle school they're invincible mob mentality baby this girl had like her locker next to me mine and like she caught me when i like wasn't around my boys at the time and she was like wow you're not nearly as mean when you were around those guys and i was like oh fuck oh god you really caught you really called me out and i started acting more mean just to be an asshole. I'll show you, bitch. Oh, yeah, dude.

But your fucking hair looks like shit. God damn. Like, all right, never mind, Walker. I thought we were going to have a moment here. I thought we were going to flirt at the lockers. Completely destroyed that one. You think that's what she was trying to do? Maybe.

She was ugly anyway. Hey, look, AJ. You can look like... She was good looking. Damn it, Walker. What am I looking like? You're looking like good as fuck. I've fucking been at the lockers before, bud.

I've never have. These fucking things are hurting my god damn ears. I've been at the lockers now. Did you not have lockers in middle school? Oh, yeah. We had the tall head-to-toe joints. I didn't use it. I just kept my shit in my book bag. What the fuck do I need the locker for?

You were that fucking kid. Everybody really was in my middle school. They wouldn't let us carry book bags around. I can't remember. Oh, maybe in middle school. High school, I definitely didn't use a locker. Yeah, no. High school.

It was like a fucking free-for-all. Didn't you have to buy a locker at some point? You had to check. I don't know if you had to pay for it, but I think you had to register for one. I don't know if I had a locker the last two years of high school. I never had one in high school. Yeah, middle school, they didn't let us have backpacks, so you kind of had to. I think maybe I did have one in high school. Yeah, middle school, they didn't let us have backpacks, so you kind of had to. I think maybe I

did have one in high school. You guys are fucking bugging. My mom called the fucking school to fight for me to get a top locker on my behalf. Soft ass bitch. Hell no. You are a soft ass bitch. I'm not bending over. I'm fucking one of the tallest kids in high school. I'm lit like that. You said mommy, mommy. I have

a bottom locker. I don't want to get fucked in my ass when I bend over. I have to bend over. I'm not bending down to open have a bottom locker. I don't want to get fucked in my ass when I bend over. I have to bend over. I'm not bending down to open the fucking bottom locker. Are you kidding me? That is like pussy shit. No, that's what happens when you go to a small school. He was an only child.

Bro, you go to a small school, you can get shit like that. Can we shit on AJ for being an only child? Can I shit on only children for a second? Sure, dude. We're lit. No. We're good people. All motherfuckers are weird as fuck. We've stared at the wall for a second sure dude we're lit no we're good motherfuckers are weird

as fuck and there's a reason why for a long time as much as i don't like bullying it's important for kids to be bullied by their siblings because your siblings kind of keep like kind of teach you how not to be like a fucking serial killer or just not to be a fucking weirdo exactly yeah for sure so like when like you know you're you're okay for an only child honestly some only children are just like they've got the wackest style you've ever seen in your life because they're rich probably you have to be only child and like just like average i've known poor only children bro like it's just like you've got such an ego because your parents have only cared about you your entire life. There's been no other distraction.

There's so many factors that go into that, though. Like, me and Austin had two other siblings. Like, you know, even if you're the favorite, they're paying, like, 40% of their attention to you. Like, you just can't, you can't you can't like get i don't know i feel like it's like really hard to become a total weirdo narcissist when you have siblings how do you feel about a single parent household kids and only child should be aborted poster and only child they should be old yellered. Take her behind the red bar. What do I think about single parent households?

Only childs too. I mean, I only have a problem with only children. I've never really thought about the combination because I don't really have an opinion about single parent households. Yeah, that's what I got to say. I think my situation was like being an only child

it made me good at shit because like there's either one or two things that's going to happen you're either going to turn out weird as fuck like you're saying because you've been staring at the wall for too damn long

or you're going to be like zoning in on a craft I feel like low keykey older children do uh are like the most extroverted sometimes like they're the most extroverted because they're so tired of being alone like i feel like i was able to be more of an introvert because i had people around me if i wanted to hang out like with my siblings or whatever so like i feel like i mean i'm not an introvert overall but but also i feel like being an only child makes you kind of extrovert because it's like i'd rather do i know several

only children and all of them have said the same thing they hate being alone and i know dude i know aj does not like being alone because he's he loves company yeah he's trying to hang out no matter what hell yeah that is wild this is like going to therapy you want to know what you want to know what um damn what was i about to say i fucking lost it it was about only child fucking uh single parent households fucking a it don't matter keep going i need carried right now i'm trying to think of this shit so i uh i mean you know When I was a kid kid Like I'd say under like Holy fuck

Did y'all see that What was it Look at it on the grate Do you think it would have fit through though It might not have fit It was my fat finger. Walker dropped his ring, and it landed on our 1925 fucking register. The fucking diffuser, if you will.

It comes out of the floor. It comes out of the floor. You can hear it fucking rev up when it's about to let some fucking air out. The fucking grill racks. Yeah. You can literally fucking throw a fucking burger on that fucker in the winter. It gets so hot. It doesn't matter.

One of my favorite things is me and Austin are very similar no matter what. Both of us come out of the shower and go and stand on one of those grates and just feel the air on our assholes. And it's fucking awesome. Dude, it's fucking so great. I just let my balls fucking flap in the awesome. Dude, it's fucking so great. I just let my balls fucking flap in the wind. Dude, there's nothing like it. It's just like

you've never been cooled down until you've had straight 60 degree air right on your taint. If you have air flowing across your asshole, that's fucking fire. Hey, quit touching my label, bitch.

He's not. Oh, man. Chill on me, bro. Chill on me. I'm just pissed pissed i forgot what i was about to say man don't you hate when i'm pissed well you said i'm in therapy i'm in free therapy right now i know but like i can't dang i was about to blurt it out but i didn't want to cut you off it's kind of like first time ever it's a double-edged, you know? You picked the wrong edge of the sword today. I know, man.

You're always picking the wrong edge. It's not a double-edged sword. Because, like, either, like, it's so hard to blur it out, but, like, also, like, I don't want to blur it out because I want to let him talk. Just to change the whatever. What you guys have going on? Anything cool coming up soon? Any experiences?

I know something. Traveling. I know something going on about my friend Walker over here. What the fuck's he got going on? Walker shared some news with us today that maybe he wants to share himself or not.

He might want to share it himself. I think it is very important. He doesn't want to share it. It tells the vibe of everything. I wasn't going to mention. I got a little raise At work today Jesus Christ AJ You're not supposed to talk

About people's fucking salaries I didn't say anything I know because I was Over here fucking I do have a lot of Shit planned So I'm going to Tennessee next week

Yeah The week after I'm going To California And then the week after that I'm going to New Mexico So I'll see you in a month Dude do you in a month. Dude, do you remember last month and you were like,

hey, don't do that shit again where you travel three weeks out of the month? And, bro, I had vacation. I was supposed to go and fuck this bitch I met on Tinder. Oh, I forgot about that. I had an Airbnb, bro. My B, my B. I had fucked up your whole vibe. Airbnb, I was supposed to go to Tattoo next week. It fucked up my whole vibe. I had an Airbnb. I was supposed to go to Tattoo next week. It fucked up my whole vibe.

I forgot about all those things that you said you were supposed to be doing. Bro, that's why I was so mad, mad as fuck like yesterday or two days ago. I think it was the day before yesterday. Rob straight up emailed me. He's like, you can't take a vacation. Yeah, Walker walks in the house after coming home from work. I just know at this point when when i i always say hey walker i just know the vibes but i should keep talking just let it be it was one of

those let it be moments he was like yeah today was pretty shit how was your day how was your day austin good how was your day walker pretty shit i asked him today yeah bro regular occurrence for you well dude i feel like today you should have been fired up you got the fucking news that you're about to be making more bread like whatever yeah bro i don't know man it's just like it's just too much walker comes home from work today and he's like hey guys bye guys he leaves and we're like all right let's go track this fucker down we find him at the bar he's like the local bar i'm two martinis deep i just i had to change my mood around a little bit before i talked to you guys like all right fair enough i've finally been like keeping track of my schedule i use like microsoft planner bro i've got like 18 things on my to-do list right now and three of

them are like late like i should have done but how many of them are like fucking fucking wash the outlet in my office or some fucking off the wall shit there's like three bullshit ones i'm not gonna lie there's like three you know like uh change all the air filters around the office like that's Like that's not really my job. You don't need to do that. Yeah. Delegate that to somebody. I don't have anybody now.

All the people are leaving, dude. Dude, my supervisor left three months ago, and like me and this dude split responsibilities. And then this dude put in his two weeks last week. So like yesterday we had your workload just got a little heavier you i'm sorry to break this to you didn't necessarily get a promotion you're just getting paid now what you're worth for the added responsibility oh no i'm not getting paid what i'm worth i'm getting paid more

but i'm not getting paid what i'm worth and And then like, you know, it's the family company. Right. And I'm not a scumbag. Right. But it's like, I was thinking today, I was like, I literally could not have more leverage right now. Oh, yeah. Like if I could demand whatever I wanted to.

You better get on Chad's EPT and write you a dog-ass rebuttal letter while you're in Florida. Walker, Walker, realistically, like if you better get on chat so like you a dog ass rebuttal letter while you're Walker Walker realistically like if you were like yo I'm walking away like would that put them in a fucking shit situation yes Walker's walking away it always feels good having that fucking power whether you're gonna like truly abuse it or not which you probably won't but like having that just like that feeling that's like you can't fucking do this shit without me anymore. I told you when I first started this job a year ago, I always struggled with being a nepo baby and just feeling the imposter syndrome and all that shit. And I told Austin, I was like, I'm going to become essential. I'm going to become so tied in that they can't function without me.

You're undeniable now. And it has never been more true, dude. That's fucking sick. I don't know what it is, but I've heard the exact same story. It's so familiar. And it's wild that I've heard this story twice now for a family business. It's fucked. Well, like everybody that probably is like being the child of the person that for a family business it's fought well like everybody that probably is like

being the child of the person that owns the family business it's like it probably doesn't feel good because or like it potentially doesn't feel great because you're like oh i'm saying are you still friends with that person aj there's two different ways it can go either they're a complete complete trust fund baby or they're not getting paid enough right and it's fucked because they're like in a fucked up situation like okay yeah i work for like family or like whatever's but like i'm the most important dude in here like i'll fucking if i call him today like i know you're fucked and like let alone leave but then it's like okay what the fuck you need to pay me more you need to pay more but then they're like oh more. But then they're like, oh, no, no, no. Like, we can't.

You're a family. Like, shut the fuck up. And then you're like, no, like, I'll literally deadass quit. You don't fuck with me. I feel like it's like the coaches. But then you would never, you never would because it potentially would just ruin shit that you have going on. I feel like it's like the coach is something. There's two types of coaches and sons.

It's like you're going to play quarterback. It's either the guy who promotes them no matter how much they suck or the guy that makes them run laps after practice even if they're the best player. Just because they're their son. And I'm not trying to compare myself to that. I've got it made in the fucking shade. Hey, buddy.

I don't give a fuck like i feel like in people in your shoes might feel stressed about it oh i had this handed to me maybe not quite in that exact i use that terminology i had this handed to me no motherfucker you you were in the right place at the right goddamn time and that's how i feel about my situations and how i've uh how i do what i do because like i am in a situation where i don't work a nine-to-five and i'm very lucky to be able to have as much freedom as i want for the most part and it's just like yeah i got i got very lucky lucky meeting the people that I met or having the family that I have and, like, whatever. But it's, like –

It's unbelievable how much of life is – bro, if you are nice and you know the right people, you can do nothing but be successful. Yeah, if you're willing to do it. You know, like, some of the things that, like, I've – that I'm a part of, I – a lot of people wouldn't be willing to do. Just as simple as just talking to people. Some people just can't talk to people. It's hard to make those connections. Some people don't come on the podcast even when you ask them two times in a row. Damn.

Zach motherfucking Lane. Yeah, we're calling you out, Zach Lane. If you're watching this right now, your ass better be on this podcast very soon because you stood us up twice. I'm sorry. You were making a very great point. Was I? I don't even know if I was. It's just like, you know, being in the right place at the right time and being willing to do it.

You just got to have those two things because, like, you know, your family could have, like, came to you and said, I have this opportunity for you. And if you were just like, I don't fucking care what you have for me, then, like, it wouldn't have happened. Well, and it's like, you know, you've done so much shit that I would just not do, like, in pursuit of your dream. And it's like, like, just like, like the filming yourself out in public. Like, I just, I just i cannot physically like bring myself to do that so i have so much respect because like you're right it's like it's it's who you know and it's just like the willingness to do things right like if you care about it or you care about something or if you care about a certain aspect of it or like whatever like if you care about

something and like this will get you to where you want to go, whatever. It takes you a long way. So I feel like it's not... My whole point I think I was trying to make was that I don't think people that work for the family business should ever feel bad about that. I've worked for my family's businesses and gotten jobs through friends and family. I feel like that's just the way the world works. Just because it might be your fucking dad doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It's just fucking, that's life, dude. Just don't be a cunt about it.

You know what I'm saying? Right. If you're like, oh, I fucking run shit. It's like, no, bitch, your dad got you that job. I'm Billy Big Dick around here. I'm the smart. I'm only in this position because of my talent. It's like that is yeah 100 that's true for

that's untrue for 90 of people oh for sure if you came home acting like that i would say some shit to you yeah but you don't and that's why it's like i think you shouldn't even think about i don't think you should think twice about it it's you i don't know there's there it's just like such a level of cognitive dissonance to be like cognitive dissonance dissonance yeah dissonance yeah dissonance it's like my father owns my father mother owns the company right but i'm here because of my merit come on bro look in the fucking mirror it's not merit mommy or daddy had your back exactly you know and you can put in good work but like let's not lie about like that's one of the things that like fucks me up about like nepo

babies and like hollywood and like you know bollywood or like or not bollywood bollywood what is that the the i was trying to say like dollywood i was trying to more say like the music the music side of it it's like everyone wants to pretend like they made it from the bottom. And it's like you didn't. Some people have. Some people have. And they should absolutely champion that. I know what you're saying.

But you can be an amazing performer and be like, I'm only here because, you know, I had connections. Right. Both things can be true. Yeah. you know i had connections right both things can be true yeah i mean like if you look at my career as uh an aspiring social media person um i don't want to say influencer just person in the social media world i mean like i can say like yeah i've done i've been working at this shit for five six years and like blah blah blah but in at some point whatever whatever it is like i got started with a person like you know like somebody helped me get to where i am all like all along the way and like

especially in the beginning so like you know i'm not gonna sit here and pretend like i just made it oh i made it from fucking nothing like i i did this you know everybody gets everybody has a little something one of my favorite quotes ever I forget who it's attributed to, but it was after Albert Einstein died and they were doing an autopsy on his brain. And this guy said, I forget what his name was, but he was like,

I'm less concerned with how many folds Einstein's brain had than with the fact that people of equal ability died working in fields. Right. Right. It's fucking fields. Right. Right. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy.

On that note, boys, do you have anything else you want to say to wrap up this podcast? Protect trans kids. Amen. AJ? Make sure you comment if you think I'm going to have a boy or a girl. Throw me, throw us alike. Because I'm having a kid in general.

I got to leverage this as much as I can. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Throw Walker a like for getting fucking promoted or more money at his job that he has been deserved. Same title. Give Austin a fucking like for drinking for a month straight. I have been on that. You picked the worst possible.

I just beat the fuck out of the mic. You picked the worst possible option. Yeah. All right, I've been on a 25. I'm on a 25-dayer right now. It doesn't fucking matter. Hey, shout out to Austin for sticking up for himself when it comes to his pay.

Right. Thanks. Thank you for withholding and withholding the title of being a fucking awesome person. Thanks again, everybody. If you're listening, go ahead and watch us. If you're watching, go ahead and listen. Search on Always

Laugh podcast on any fucking platform you can literally think of. And we'll be there, you know? So, yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast. My name's Austin Lane. My name is AJ. They didn't check on Lil Peep quick enough.

I'm Walker. Fuck Tekashi69. Fucking big facts. We out! Love you, people.