Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #32 - Boxing Match!! Walker vs. Aj

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

This episode we talk about Walker and Aj's boxing match, spending too much money at a vending machine, how to cheat on tests, and crying in front of the boys. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj this is the number one podcast you've never heard of this guy my name is walker the misandra smith the misandra if you ain't laughing you ain't living let's go welcome back we're back baby oh what's it been another three weeks since we did a podcast god dang yeah i feel like i haven't saw you guys and um in a long time well actually i saw you guys yesterday for a quick why were you here yesterday um are we all congregated and gathered the hell is that sound in the background walker what the fuck is it fuck so we're having some technical difficulties here. Walker put a freaky-ass timer on the screen.

Walker, that's the wrong website. Keep talking, keep talking. Yeah, we all congregated here yesterday. Yeah, we all showed up here yesterday. Mainly just Walker walked out of his bedroom and so did Austin. I drove here just to set everything up. And then, yeah. And we left.

No pod was recorded. No. No. No pod was recorded. It was for the best. The vibes are better today. Yeah, at least you were honest with yourself. I appreciate honesty.

He just called it. Austin called it. He was like, look, man, I'm about to fucking spaz out. I don't think this is going to be a good pod. And we're just like, touche, I'm fucking out. AJ's like, all right, well, I'm going home. All right, well, thanks for not wasting my time or wasting my time, but also. Fully wasted your time.

I'm going home. I don't got time to waste. I got to watch a couple episodes of Sopranos last night. I was fucking fire. Oh, yeah? Fucking pussy is the best character out there. And nobody spoil it, please. Yeah, guys, don't spoil The Sopranos.

I saw a spoiler. Damn it. Motherfucker, dude. How? It was in like a reaction gif. They kill pussy. No! Fuck!

Britt Walker, how do you... That's okay. Whatever. It sucks. I'm fucking... Have you been looking up soprano shit no it was all it was on like an nba meme page and it was like how the how the sixers about to do james harden and it's fucking tony and all the other guys shooting pussy like 14 times damn you gotta be kidding me that's tough i hope it happens like early. Like I hope it happens

in season one just so you don't have to fucking sit around knowing he's going to get murked for the next like 20 seasons or however long

the damn show is. That would suck. How long have the Sopranos been going on for? It went on for six years between 99 and 05. And now there's new episodes or what?

Walker's just tapping back into some old shit. You know? Well, guys, today. They still had beepers. Today, I want to talk about with you guys. Walker, I'm proud of you, man.

Thanks. Walker is on his grind. He's on his grind. Are you two on your grind? Oh, yeah. I'm on my. Bending grind. I'm on my. Oh, well. Drink daily grind. Walker is on your grind? Oh, yeah. I'm on my... Bending grind. I'm on my...

Oh, well. Drink daily grind. Walker is on his grind. He travels to a new state every week. He did say if there is a vending machine on the same floor as him, he will fall off. He's tapping it. Because I just don't... I brought it up on the pod, but I just don't eat on the road unless my coworkers make me at lunch or they want to go out to dinner.

So I just go three or four days without eating, and I usually get really stoned wherever I am, and I'll just fucking raid the vending machine. You know how hard it is to spend $15 at a fucking vending machine, bro? Dude. You have to swipe your card like eight times it sucks that's fucked i've never broken five dollars out of any machine yeah i can 100 i've never broken more than one item at a vending machine at one time put it that way bro i remember it being well you're just on some soft how do you do that you literally have to swipe it one item per swipe yeah jesus that's tough i don't got the patient bro i remember in college i used to like be studying cramming before a test and it'd be like three or four in the morning and i go to

the vending machine and i get one of those big ass bags of cheat cheez-its that's like 400 calories and i get some cheetos and some like Bugles. Those are 400 calories? The big bags, yeah. Because they got like the little bitch vending machine bags and then they got the big bags. The big daddy. Big bag. And I'd crush them all and then I'd sit there hating myself

and realize I was going to fail and then go home and then go back. Dude, that was always the best. Like you study all night for a test and you you're like, yep, gonna fail that. The last hour of your studying is just figuring out how you're gonna finesse. Yep. How you're gonna finesse the test. You start putting those equations in the calculator. You're like, all right, it's down to crunch time.

I haven't learned shit in this library tonight. Dude, in one of my classes, I was just blatantly cheating. Like, blatantly. I had my phone in between my legs, and I was literally tapping out questions on Chegg, copying down the answer. The professor was making eye contact with me the whole time, but he didn't call me on it. I know that motherfucker knew I was cheating. Oh, I believe it. Bro, the one time, I feel like I could have talked about this on the pod already, but who fucking cares?

I took a test and cheated my fucking ass off because we got the test. Like, sometimes the test would be extremely similar like the semester before. And if you had friends that took the class, you know, you could get the test from them and they whatever so i just wrote down every question and wrote out all the work for the previous semester's test and slipped it all into my um textbook because we were allowed to use our textbook on this test so i had like different pages with all the different test things slipped into it and i was like oh hell yeah the test is almost identical but it wasn't i guess identical because i got a 17 on that test i leave the test and i'm like yeah jared i got a 17 and he's like out of what and i was like no like that's out of 100 buddy i got a 17 on that test dude one of the most flagrant things so me and austin and one of our other friends who

may or may not have been on the podcast we had a class together and i had well actually this perfect my other story leads right in the worst i've ever done on the test was differential equations i got up and she was passed like she she would call your name, pass your test. Like you'd have to walk up, get your test. She calls my name and I get up there and she straight up laughs in my face. She was not nice. I got an eight out of 100. That's bad. Dude, I left the class early, immediately withdrew.

But the next semester I took the class again with Austin and a friend that will not be named and I had like up to like test three or so like written out and she allowed us to have a cheat sheet so Austin and our friend just wrote down the test on their cheat sheets and took it in and got like 98s like oh yeah The only reason I passed that class. Dude, it's so bad. Fuck differential equations. I hope the university that I went to never sees the podcast because my degree will be revoked. Bye-bye. I don't know, man. I think that's kind of like that's all.

Did you hear when the pandemic first started, they were checking Chegg and kicking kids out of school? I didn't really hear much about it, but I believe it. I don't know if I ever... I heard about it, but I didn't know anyone that that happened to. Where the fuck was Chegg? I want to know what the fuck was life before Discord and Chegg. Period. Bro, but now you can just scan the shit with Chegg and it just looks it up for you.

No more typing in or anything. Oh, that's fire. Yeah. Fire, dude. I could have used that. 100%. Oh, dude. But, I mean, by the time, when we got to the end of our, like, you know, education, it was, like, just so out there that Chegg was no fucking help whatsoever. But, luckily, I was a mechanical engineering technology major.

So, they took, I feel like, well, it also just severely depended on what professor you had. And some of them, like, if you look like you showed enough work, then like good enough. I had a, yeah, whatever. I took us to finish my degree. I took a summer class and, uh, I, the test, like it took me 12 pages of work to like do one question. And it was like a three question test or whatever and this is like I had to finish

this class to finish my degree so I'm just on Chegg completely writing bullshit out for all my work because all my work had to be submitted like I submitted like 30 pages for this test and I got like a fucking 80 on it and I was like alright I'm out I'm fucking out

I finished my. I'm fucking out. Beautiful. I finished my classes. I'm done. This is fucking stupid. Cancel the membership. Fuck this school shit. I'm about to fall asleep over here, dude. Yeah, I feel you. Fuck the school shit.

I'm glad you graduated. I'm glad you almost graduated. And I'm glad I got kicked out because fuck it. I have nightmares about it sometimes. Fuck school, man. I'm a rapper, dog. That's how little I cared about school. I've never had a school nightmare.

Like, I've had more serving nightmares than school nightmares. Dude, I've had an opening by myself nightmare. I've had a short-staffed nightmare. Like, bro. Deep in the weeds nightmare. There's nothing worse. Oh, my nightmares now are way more scary than school. Dude, now that I've stopped smoking weed, my dreams are finally coming back, and I hate it.

I realize why I smoked weed every fucking day. To escape reality. It's like every one of my dreams is just like, oh, okay, which one of Walker's anxieties or insecurities can we completely make the entire dream about tonight? How do we blast him with this all night long? Nutting fast? Yep, we got that. Puffy nipples? Yep, we got that. Fat fuck? Yeah, we got that.

All fucking, all in a row. Yeah, I want to talk about how I'm fucking I need to take this shit more serious. Walker's, me and Walker are having a fucking boxing match. September 23rd. September 23rd.

I am asking to extend this date, but I need more time. But, yes. This has been in the works for like two weeks at this point. Last episode, AJ's pounding 10 Krispy Kreme donuts. This episode, he's getting ready for a fight. I pull up with fucking McDonald's yesterday. You tried to offer it to me? Yeah, I literally forgot about the fight.

Walker's like, dude, I'm literally training. Like, what the fuck? I'm fucked. It's over a month away and you're still trying to extend? Why? I need more time. Why? The thing is, I'll be cramming like two weeks out.

Why don't you start now? It's too early, dude. What do you mean? Then you don't need an extension. So, yeah, you don't need an extension. I'm like Nate Diaz, dog. I just show up. All right, then show up.

Yeah, perfect. They said Nate Diaz was drunk during the Jake Paul fight. Did you see him? I believe that. Yeah, he looked like he was drunk. My man put Jake in a full-ass guillotine. It was sick. Which I remember,

when Conor fought Floyd, he wanted to drop that motherfucker so bad. He wanted to just kick him in the head, and it's like, nope. I think boxing's so stupid for that reason. That you can't kick people in the head? It's not like real fighting, you know? It's like's like you can't you can only hit people with your hands if they fall you can't hit them you have to back up and they let them get back up you know they count to 10 it's literally

just like rife for brain damage oh yeah boxing scares me i used to um yeah i'm literally i used to want to be a fighter i want more time i've had several dreams as a as a young person i had several dreams growing up i wanted to be in the nfl i wanted to be a boxer or really probably an mma fighter but i never really got into that um i wanted to be a rapper but i couldn't just like i couldn't uh justify getting fucking kicked in the head or my brain just being rattled that much. I've taken enough shots to the head,

and that's why I'm a pacifist now. There you go. Exactly. I don't know why I've had so many friends with head injuries. I'm a pacifist. Always laugh at Losey. I'm also a boxing promoter, so I don't know how that works. You're not engaging. Join us September 23rd. I'll also a boxing promoter, so I don't know how that works. You're not engaging.

Join us September 23rd. I'll just be reffing. I'll be reffing. I'm trying to keep things clean. You're trying to keep us from really getting hurt. It's the 23rd, right? Yeah, September. Yep.

Join us. We'll be in the backyard. There will be sports betting going on. A ton of illegal sports gambling. I am open to take a dive if somebody will make it worth my while i'm walker just gets knocked out cold in the first round first punch i don't have the punching power buddy oh yes you do if i sell it bud and also you simply do like if you just yeah bro you're you're six three. You're a grown-ass man. 6'2 and 210.

You could knock Walker out. No, no cap. I'm saying no cap on this one. I have never thrown a punch full force at somebody. It's always been on some drunk shit or some shit. You know what I'm saying? Or, like, I've been... Well, I guess we got to get you drunk.

Bro, that's why heavyweight fights are so much fun to watch. It's like, if one guy even taps the other guy's face, it's over. Like those guys, like you're just a big-ass motherfucker. You've got so much mass behind you. Oh, yeah. I just couldn't imagine, dude, like the amount of people in this room. You better not miss weight, though. Random.

Oh, dude. That might be a problem. But just think of the amount of people. He just lost five pounds. Right, yeah. He's not going to do it. He has to lose three pounds. He's eating.

His meal is the last. Yesterday. No, just yesterday. of the amount of people... He has to lose three pounds. He's eating his meals yesterday. No, just yesterday. Breakfast, 60 shrimp, McDonald's. Yeah, that's not looking good for you, buddy. The shrimp probably isn't terrible. Probably not 60.

No, listen. Yesterday, I had leftover ACP from the Mexican restaurant, which was a full meal, you know, for an average person. For breakfast. It was like snack for me when I first woke up. That's what I had for breakfast today. Okay. And then, like, the shrimp thing, that was just my neighbor.

Lately I've been doing this thing where, like, somehow me and my neighbor's path just like we'll both find each other at the end of our driveways and like he lives on the other side so like it'll be like just a road between us and it's like a how you doing would you like a cold beer perfect I'm sweating my ass off mowing the grass. Of course I want a cold beer. Well, that cold beer turns into three cold beers. And by that time, I'm like, dude, I got to go. I got a whole yard to do.

I get back. I'm hungry at this point because I've had three beers. I see the shrimp. I've thawed the shrimp out. I need to cook it. They're the little ones. You know, they're this big, standard shrimp. They've thawed the shrimp out. I need to cook it. They're the little ones. You know, they're like this big, standard shrimp. They're peeled and shit.

I threw like six kebabs on the grill, right, with six on each one. So that's like 36, right? Slight. I'm thinking Kenzie would at least want five or like one skewer or, you know, whatever. And then I had this fucking the rest of the bag. So I'm like, I can't just put so i'm like i can't just put like this little i can't just put 25 shrimp back in the refrigerator that would be absurd i'm saying it was like i would hate to do that so many shrimp still dude it was like 25 shrimp would

have been fine in the refrigerator it was like an eighth of a bag like it was like but it was like still a lot of shrimp so like i'm like well i'll just fucking make this too you're math a math and bro so look it was a big ass bag of shit some people are out there like no i feel you and some people are like you're fucking disgusting but listen it is disgusting so i made it i made it all i made it all and i'm like kenzie you want some she's like no i'm good i'm like you want none i'm like i just i'm like i just made fucking all of them i'm talking about all of them dude pregnant women aren't even supposed to eat shellfish if it's cooked it's okay from what she says i'm pretty sure well i trust uh the pregnant woman i bet kenzie has done her research don't quote me i'm just i think if it's cooked, it's okay.

But yeah, I just started eating the fucking... That's official medical advice from AJ Allen. I just started eating them. And before I knew it, I mean, towards the end, it got kind of repetitive. Because, you know, 60 at ease. About 60. I crushed all of them, dude. No sauce. At the end, you're just taking handfuls, throwing them.

I was eating no sauce. I was eating three at a time. They were good. I squeezed a lemon over them while they were fired. All right. You're a sicko. You're a sick fuck. I mean, I love shrimp, so I feel like I could have eaten 20.

I was on feeder bottom feeder activity but look though you're literally eating bottom feeders i know i'm bottom feeder activity i was eating three at a time towards the end just to get them fucking over like you were just you weren't even full you were just getting tired of moving your arm filling your mouth up with shrimp just because and then i took like a four hour nap nap. And before I know it, fucking I got like fucking 15 text messages like. When are we doing the pod? Yeah, when's the pod? I'm like, fucking, I got to shower.

Fucking the yard isn't done because I got all drunk, ate fucking all the shrimp, fell asleep. I got to take a shower, go do the pod. Fucking drive all the way to Raleigh just to get told. Fucking, yeah, not doing the pod. Go all the way back. That's just to get told fucking not doing the pod, go all the way back. That's not what you got told. And then fucking. It's more like, fuck this shit, we're not doing the pod tonight.

Sweet. Fuck it. Turn the lights off, camera off. We all just sat here. I get, oh, on the way back, I get stuck in the worst traffic jam ever. So I didn't get back. So are you just complaining right now? Yeah, dude.

Are you okay? Boring. They don't want to hear your complaints. You left out that you got McDonald's on the way here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd you get? Quarter pounder meal. Large.

Quarter pounder meal. Fuck. You're done. Because look, because I was like. I'm going to punch him in his belly one time. He's going to throw up a double cheeseburger. Because I was like, dude. I'm only doing body shots.

He's going to throw up a whole double cheeseburger i haven't ate i haven't ate shit today i was like i've only had the mexican food and then i didn't realize till later than i said damn i had that shrimp too i had shrimp and beer not not that shrimp that 60 count shrimp the entire platter like yeah i was, he must have bought like a fucking little whatever. It doesn't matter. Fuck it. You ate too many shrimp. I am a fiend for them little circular shrimp platters.

Yeah, they're good. They're gas. Cocktail sauce. Oh, yes. I wanted to be a rapper growing up. I really did. You got some bars for us? Nope.

No. I never really fully dove dove into it i yeah sorry i don't have anything off the dome right now i might i might cook something up by the end of the pod but um i just maybe i think the real reason that i never truly chased it is because i just didn't have enough experiences and i didn't want to be like oh let me rap about my like hard times and shit like that because like you know it's acceptable for people but like i didn't want to be like, oh, let me rap about my like hard times and shit like that. Because like, you know, it's acceptable for people. But like, I didn't want to be like that guy, like that white kid that's like, oh, my life was hard. Like shit like that, you know, because that's just like.

So I think the reason I think I'm ready, I think I'm just about ready to start because now I've had some cool experiences. And I'm just going to start my rap career and rap about really dope-ass shit, you know? Yeah. Like having alcohol issues and fucking hanging out with cool people all the time and partying and starting a podcast, you know? Chasing my dreams. Dude, all big topics in the rap game right now.

Yep. Well, no, I'm going to be different. Oh. Like how different? Like Lil Dicky different? No, not that, no, I'm going to be different. Oh, like how different? Like Lil Dicky different? No, not that different. That's a little bit too different. Like Nav different?

But if you guys want to be featured on a song, I feel like I have some slots open coming up. Yes. If you guys want to get in the studio. I got you on a hook, bro. I know, I know, I know. We've talked about this. Can I be a producer?

Fuck no. Can you produce? Do you know how to produce music? Dude, let know, I know. We've talked about this. Can I be a producer? Fuck no. Can you produce? Do you know how to produce music? Dude, let him cook, bro. I got sauce, bro. AJ's mean on GarageBand, bro. AJ, do you even know what a producer does? Yes, they put beats together and shit.

I know. I'll punch you in, bro. Okay. Jesus. Austin could never be like Nav, because our recording equipment is about 1,400 times better than the fucking Nokia cell phone that Nav records off of. All right. Man, it sounds like he's underwater in his songs.

Pisses me off. No, I'd be recording on this podcast mic right here. Fuck yeah, dude. In my closet. Dude, you've done voiceover work? You're a voice actor now. I mean, low key. High key.

High key. The highest of keys. Yeah. First off, your fucking closet barely fits your goddamn clothes. Yeah, there's literally no room. Let alone a body plus a money. So I went to the beach this past weekend, and I almost got kicked off the pier because I had a beer in my hand and we all

went to try to go on the pier and you have to go through like the little gift shop to get onto the pier pay your little two bucks whatever so we're walking around the gift shop just looking at stuff and the lady behind the counter is eyeballing me just eyeing me down the whole time and I'm like fuck it's the beer I know it's the beer I already know it and we all I probably also look like I was gonna steal shit because I had my uh shirt off and had been drinking all weekend so i probably looked like a criminal um so then i start asking about the shark teeth they have dope ass shark teeth like under the counter and stuff and she's like she's just giving me short answers like yep mm-hmm yep that came from here i was like all right um cool and then we go to, like, pay for the pier, and she's like, yeah, you can't bring that on the pier.

And I was like, it's a Coke. She's like, I'm not stupid. And then she was like, you have to pour it out. I was like, all right. It's a Miller Lite can. It was a Yingling can. It was close to red. It's a Coke.

It's brown. It's like maroon. Yeah. I was like, so I was like, is there a trash can outside? Because I was like, I'm just going to go outside and chug it and throw it away. And she's like, no. I was like, all right. Like, where do I throw it away?

She's like, over here. So I take the koozie off and go to chug it in the store and throw it away. And she's like, no, do not do that in here. And I was like, damn. And my grandma Kitty's over there with her little flower cup. It has a bunch of flowers on it. It's all cute and shit. I just walk up to her and she just looks away from me and walks away.

She has a full fifth. She has a full fifth of Bacardi in hers. No way. She's got Dragonberry Bacardi. I think it was a Modelo, and I was like, Grandma, I got busted. She was like, don't get me in trouble, and just walked out the door onto the pier. It was fucking hilarious. Fucking Grandma sneaking in the real drink.

Did you walk outside to finish it? No, she wouldn't let me. That cunt. I guess you follow rules. Since when do you follow rules? Dude, like she wasn't going to let me. What's she going to do? Call the police?

She wasn't going to let me on the pier. She could. She could. She was like, no alcohol on my premises. So I was like, all right, well, I'm going to put an entire full beer in your trash can. Like it was almost full. So I guess she was just fine with that. She didn't like me at all.

Should have tipped it upside down. I told my mom, I was like, she seems like the type that had been fucked over by a guy that looked similar to me. Like, I was probably giving off some real douchey vibes. Oh, my God. And she doesn't like my type. Yeah.

Dude, I feel like if you grew your hair out a little bit, you could fit right in with the beach bombs. Oh, 100%. Let the beard get shitty and, like, overgrown. grew your hair out a little bit, you could fit right in with the beach bombs. Oh, 100%. Let the beard get shitty and overgrown. I shaved my beard a little bit today. I trimmed it down. I had to do it. So we went out on the pier.

Dude, your mustache, it's just like the same color as your beard now. That's good. That's what I've been working on. We went out on the pier, and the storm rolls in. And we left all of our shit down on the beach under our canopy. And we're walking back. And my mom has her binoculars. She's just looking at shit in the water and stuff.

I'm walking back and I'm like, I don't, we're walking back down the pier. I'm like, I don't see our stuff. And like I said, the storm was rolling in. So it got windy as fuck. So we're like looking through the binoculars like, is that it? No. I'm like, oh, what about the one? Like there's like a frame sitting there with no top on it. I was like, maybe the topoculars like is that it no i'm like oh what about the one like there's

like a frame sitting there with no top on it i was like maybe the top blew off of ours we get back and we get like a hundred yards from where our stuff was and i look over to the right and laying on the sand dunes was our canopy a hundred yards from where it was supposed to be completely destroyed like snapped in like snapped like broken in half in multiple places like we just i just like shoved it all into like a ball and like dragged it to the trash can i was like well this thing's fucked that sucks it was so you guys had to walk on the sand dunes no well like it was like right on the edge of the sand dune like somebody it looked like somebody watched it blow 100 yards down the beach and stopped it and like stuck it right on the edge of the sand dune. Like, it looked like somebody watched it blow 100 yards down the beach

and stopped it and, like, stuck it right on the edge of the sand dune because it was kind of sitting there, like, sitting up. If you ever want to see anger, watch a 60-year-old watch somebody walk in the sand dunes. Oh, dude. I've gotten yelled at for that before. Actually, my dog took a shit on the sand dunes. AJ didn't know that it was, like, that serious. Actually, my dog took a shit on the sand dunes. AJ didn't know that it was that serious.

Yeah, I was like, ooh. He got in trouble. People were pissed. Yeah, some person on the beach literally came up to me and was like, you can't do that. I'm like, buddy. Right, right. Oh, we were talking about that actually when we were at the beach and grandma kitty was like yeah the dog shit was probably just like like some glue like holding that shit together or something didn't you guys have that canopy for fucking ever dude no that's

the fucked up part it's like brand new oh damn i don't know if i was supposed to talk about that because i'm pretty sure andrea's family just bought it for her so they're gonna find out through i'm gonna have to tell my mom and andrea that buddy they should break the news if they have it they watch our fucking podcast i think andrea's mom does because she brought it up multiple times fuck yeah shout out to fucking she walked up to me she said this is fucking bird baby she walked in and then and then and then all right she walks up to me she like taps my leg she's like so where's your third and i was like what she's like where's your where's your third she was talking about you because you weren't there i was like oh walker i was like

yeah he's not he's not here i said yeah he don't come off the house much it's true finally the one time i wanted to do it i had to go to a fucking funeral, dude. Fuck. What the fuck? Who croaked? One of my dad's best friends. R.I.P. Bestie.

And I just went up to his wife and just started bawling myself. Ain't no wrong with that. It was a celebration of life. Everyone was super upbeat and positive. And I went up and hugged her and just broke down. Dude, I can't do funerals. Something about it. I don't care. It could be my worst enemy. And I cry

like a bitch. Like a baby. Not like a bitch. Like a baby bag bitch. Yeah. Like one of those guys. Dude. Yeah, I cry pretty. Shout out to if you cry. Crying is good. I've seen AJ cry several times.

I didn't know if I ever. It's always bullshit. Or not, it's not bullshit, but I always like. It's always bullshit, the finding out the gender of his child. No, no, no, no. Idiot. It's always bullshit. Like, what I'm trying to say is, like, it's always like.

Is that a boy? No, I like. That's why he was crying. Like, girls get emotional. Like, they fully break down and cry. Like, at least when I've gotten caught crying, I'm, like, smiling slash, like girls get emotional. Like they fully break down and cry. Like at least when I've gotten caught crying, I'm like smiling slash like, because I know everyone's staring at me, especially the boys are staring at me. And I'm just like, yeah, we're trying to see if you're weak and we can take it.

Oh my God. It's like I've never, I've never fully like bald in front of the boys. One time. I think you did. When? When your friend passed. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were also shit face.

Shut the fuck up, motherfucker. See, it's always like fucking some bullshit. Dude, let it out. He always is a smiley face. Like he's about to cry right now but he's smiling. I'm about to meme on AJ Hart. Let a tear fall, baby. Like, he's about to cry right now, but he's smiling. I'm about to meme on an AJ Hard.

Let a tear fall, baby. Oh, fuck. No. No. It's fine. Tighten up. Dude, it is biting the shit out of my tongue right now. I always get, like, really mad when I cry.

I'm like, fucking crap. This is bullshit. I'm not a pussy. Oh, when I would get mad when I was a kid, I was a huge angry crier. Oh, me too. Which nothing takes away your credibility more when you're angry, like crying, especially as a boy. Like, oh, why are you crying, you little pussy? Yeah.

Then you get even more mad, so then you cry more. Did you guys ever fucking scream in a pillow? Oh, yeah. I do that still. Dude, I used to get mad. Let me find out Austin's in there fucking? Oh, yeah. I do that still. Dude, I used to get my... Let me find out Austin's in there fucking suffocating himself.

Oh, last night, when you guys pissed me off last night, I was screaming in that motherfucker. What? I'm just kidding. I was going to say,

Walker, you heard this? I just went outside and drank like three more beers instead. Dealt with my emotions like a man. Fucking way. With a Michelin Ultra. With my low-cal beer a man man's man tell me why i this

might sound stupid to most but um i just now figured this out and i couldn't believe i just now figured this out this is a speaking of beer right i never knew that, like, okay, like, Bud Light and Budweiser, right? Is it true that, like, that is the same difference compared to, like, Miller High Life and Miller Light? Like, Bud Light is the little brother to Budweiser the same way, like, the light beers are, like, the little brother. And I never knew Bud Light had a big brother. I feel like it's so much worse than you even think, because like it's all what what's it called amheiser bush well i know it's under the same company but i'm saying i didn't know bud light was the little brother to bud weiser in the same like it's the light beer it's a light bud weiser just like

that's what i'm saying i never knew that yeah i thought bud light was its own like thing you know what i'm saying? It's like their marketing tactic to make you feel like you're healthier while you're drinking beer. Dude, it marketed the fuck out of me. It marketed the fuck out of me. Bro, you remember those Bud Light Platinums? Oh, those give me a killer hangover. Those are terrible, dude.

I remember the last time I drank them. I have never had... It was like 90% or something like that. Fucking terrible. I have never had a headache. Realistically, if I drink beer all night, I'm going to wake up fine. Those fucking Platinums, I think they come in a nine-pack of bottles or some shit like that. Or even if you get a six-pack of bottles, dude.

They give me, personally, the fucking... Oh, me too. The worst headache hangover. Dude, it tastes like there's a shot of vodka in a Bud Light. It's fucking gross. Oh, I like them, though. Don't get me wrong. I don't really like the taste of any alcohol, but Bud Light Platinum tastes like poison.

Yeah, no, it's fucking... Dude, you know I'll drink, like, any beer. Like, I don't give a shit. You won't do a platy? Platys are gross. Platypus? I'm a platypus. Oh, I haven't'm a platypus. I haven't saw a platypus in a minute, bro. I forgot what them things look like.

Do y'all know what a platypus is? Yeah, buddy. I've seen Phineas and Ferb. Yeah, bro. I ain't never seen that shit. I've seen a platypus in a minute. A little after your time. Where do they live at? You've lived in Michigan and North Carolina.

Have you ever seen a platypus? On TV. But when's the last time? I guess I ain't watched Animal Planet in a minute. When Steve Irwin died platypus? On TV. But when's the last time? I guess I watched Animal Planet. When Steve Irwin died, Animal Planet took a shit. It literally fucking, that shit. Last time I saw a platypus was when Steve Irwin was still kicking. I was watching the Boomafu, Animal Planet, and fucking Futurama.

Brandy. Is she of age? Please be of age. Okay, good. I think so. We hope so. I mean, there's no way she's not of age. It's been so long.

And bro, whoever's piping that down. Kudos to you. You're the man. Do you think they know? They're probably doing bloody death rolls in the bed. Jesus. Do you think they know her dad, Steve Irwin? What do you mean? Do you think they know her dad, Steve Irwin? What do you mean? Do you think he's like a god in Australia?

Yes. They probably don't fuck with him because he went Hollywood. The same way the skateboarding community doesn't fuck with Nigel Houston. They say he's too much of like That's too much of a deep cut. Who the fuck is Nigel Houston? Nigel Houston. Nija Houston.

Yeah, I don't even... The same way they don't fuck with Ryan Sheckler because they got money. The skateboard community thinks you're supposed to be, like, drinking 40s on the side of the road, living in your fucking van with your homies, like, to represent the culture, like... Doesn't Tony Hawk, like, stone cold...

Sell out to... ...their entire life? They don't fuck with him either? No, they call them sellouts because they got rich. They got rich rich. You're not supposed to be a rich skateboarder. You're not supposed to have MTV, Life of Ryan. Most of them, their goal is to make money and get sponsored.

Obviously, but it's to stay true to your fucking... Yeah, I feel you. Lord's a dog town. Fucking skate or die. I've got a friend who Eats shit He's like 22 He's been doing it since he was like a kid

Skateboards He's like sponsored and shit That's pretty dope My man is fucking nasty I'll check his like Instagram videos sometimes Who is it? Is he in Rally? Yeah

Black dude? No His name's Raphael There's a fucking couple dudes in fucking Raleigh that are fire at skateboarding. Shout out to you guys. I follow them on Instagram. AJ used to be a skater. He used to be a skater boy.

I fucking love skateboarding to this day. I was talking to this kid today about skateboarding. He had a skateboard shirt. I said, bro, you skate? He said, I used to. I said, yeah, bro. When you get older, it's like one wrong thing. You might be off work for a week, bro.

Like you might be down. You can't do it at this age. Fuck no. You roll your ankle. You're fucked. Dude, stop me if I've told this story in the pod, but I got super into skating for like a six-month period. Like I do everything. When I was a kid.

The ripstick or skateboarding? No, skateboarding. Oh, that's fucked. And I had this friend, Tim, kid the ripstick or skateboard not skateboarding and I had this friend Tim who like was super into skateboarding it's like one of the coolest guys I've ever met so like I was like oh Tim I love like your shoes he had like the big chunky Osiris shoes like shoes he had wore like them baggy ass like cargo pants I was like oh my god I love all this stuff so I remember one day his

mom came to our class and she gave me a like Harris teeter bag full of clothes and shoes I was like oh that's so sick and everyone like was just like looking at me funny and like one of my friends came up to me after the class and he was like dude are you like homeless I was like no was like, why did that guy's mom just come and give you clothes in a plastic bag? I could see exactly how it would look like that. So then I never wore them.

Oh, no. You're such a fucking pump faker. I know. Sellout. I wasn't a skater, dude. That was a sticker. That was the last... Posers will call you... That was a ripper. We call you a poser. That was the last time you ever skateboarded. That was before sticker. That was the last. Posers. That was a ripper. We call you a poser. That was the last time you ever skateboarded. That was before the longboard. I can never get the ollie down.

I was just like, fuck this. Dude, I'll be honest. It took me way too long to learn how to ollie. It was embarrassing. Shout out to Beth. That one night on the longboard, Beth fucking sent it a little too hard. Ate shit in her fucking driveway, dude. I'll never forget it. She fucking slammed so fucking hard dude she said i'm okay i'm okay and we're like no you're not that's how

you know no you're not okay like your arms probably broke when you immediately start worrying about what other people are thinking you know you're not good you know it looked fucked dude it was like one of them situations where like the driveway kind of had a slight curve in it like a slant and the road kind of had a little slant so there's a little there's a little one of them you know like you can go over those you just have to kind of like bend your knees a little bit and like prepare for the dip like she didn't she had them she had their knees locked out. She was fucking straight as fuck, dude. She was locked out and fucking just face planted fucking eight shit. She avoided the speed wobbles, but she wasn't ready for the.

I felt fucking terrible. And then I was like, let me get the longboard. Let me get that thing. They're like 60 bucks. I'm like, fuck that. I'm like, y'all don't even use this, bitch. I the hills and everything i'm like let me get it please they're about to move or something like let me get it they're like no 60 i'm like i'm not paying 60 for it so then like three years goes by i completely forget about the longboard and they're they're about to move again

and uh the i found the longboard somehow and i was like what's up with the longboard they're like oh yeah you can have it i was like let's go fucking patience fucking pays off dude they have to pay a fucking thing for that as a virtue i ain't even got on my car yet still in my car i've got a buddy and his uh his brother's a personal trainer so like he's big on instagram this dude looks fucking sick. And he also gets all his girls through Instagram, through Instagram DMs. This dude has been scammed a couple times. By these girls?

By these girls. So, like, you know, they'll send nudes over Instagram. And then they'll put, like, all his mom and his sister and all this shit in a group message. I don't know if I've ever been there. So I'm like, well, what does he do? And he's like, he doesn't give a fuck. My mom got sent my brother's penis like 10 times at this point. Like he's just like, mom, it happened again.

She's like, okay. I'm just kidding. It's completely happened to me before so this one time i met this girl on instagram and we were you know sending some risque uh stuff back and forth and um basically like i never sent my face or anything like that but she like photoshopped like because it was over snapchat actually i think i ended up getting her snapchat so she like screenshotted stuff and like photoshopped my face and my dick into like the same picture and like bro what you never heard this story people are doing this shit yeah and she was like i freaked out she because like she started like dming like my friends my friends like moms my sister my mom i was like shit like she started like DMing like my friends, my friends, like moms,

my sister, my mom. I was like, shit, like this is terrible. So I immediately, I was like, fuck it.

Like I'm, I'm biting the bullet. I called my mom. I was like, yo, this is happening right now. Like I, I'm freaking out.

Like she's telling me she's going to put me on like, like pedophile sites or like make it look like I'm a pedophile and shit like that. I'm like, I'm like, I'm freaking out. She's like, you got to pay me $2,000. Like send it like that. I'm like, I'm like, I'm freaking out. She's like, you got to pay me $2,000, like send it now. And I'm like, I was like, okay, okay. I'm like transiting over the funds right now.

Like I'm trying to like get my funds situated in my bank account and shit. And then like whatever, some time passes and she's like, you better send it. I'm about to ruin your life, blah, blah, blah. But like I wasn't worried about any of that shit. I was like, whatever. But she literally sent it to my friends' moms and shit and my sister. So I'm just calling people, like, all day, like, yo, delete our DMs. Or, like, delete any recent DMs you got.

Like, just delete all of the DMs. And then I just ignored her. I just blocked her on everything. And nothing ever came of it. So I guess I'm good. Dude, I have never heard of that before. You can tell I'm off good. Dude, I have never heard of that before. You can tell I'm off the fucking game. I have never heard of that before.

That's fucking wild. I could not imagine being in, like, the fucking, um, the, what's the word I'm looking for? Like, the fucking. Dating world? The one night stand world. I guess. The one nut wonder world. Sure, dude. As like technology is so crazy in today's world.

That's fucking wild. Oh, it was terrifying. It was like one of the worst days of my life because they sent it to my ex-girlfriends too. Jesus. I'm like trying to explain to them. Hey, how are you doing? I'm like, no, I haven't talked to you in a while, but this is what's going on My god, sorry You fuck with some psychotic mother and I sent the girl some old shit

So like it wasn't even like I could pretend like it wasn't me cuz I'm pretty sure I had sent the same pictures Okay, youused dick pics? Oh dude, have to Once he gets that fire one I reused one The perfect angle That's like the celebrity Who still uses a headshot from like 25 years earlier I had the one

But it had my blanket and like wall in the background So you knew it was my shit For sure Speaking of, Austin has this new adventure Where um blanket and like wall in the background so you knew it was my shit for sure oh my god speaking of austin has this new adventure where um we have some fire guests lined up apparently that austin's been putting in overtime to get these guests on he's shooting his shots yeah we're not gonna exactly um describe fully what it is right now i want you guys to be a little bit surprised, but just know hopefully we got some heat

lined up over the next few weeks. Some heat, man. I'm talking about... It'll be fun. It might be a little bit strange, so just be prepared for that. No, it ain't strange. It won't be strange. It might get awkward. It is some strange.

How the fuck's it gonna get awkward? When I make it awkward? When I make it awkward. When I make it awkward. It can get awkward between the three of us. What do you mean? When I make it awkward on purpose. I have. You mean you have nothing to lose, dude.

So that leads to a lot of potentially awkward situations. Well, I don't. I want to walk out. I don't have anything to lose either. Yes, you do. All right. We're saying too much. Just know.

Potential heat coming in the next few weeks. I want someone to walk out yeah that's very likely not that hard you guys are fucking weird yeah oh like you're gonna walk out without like directly insulting them anyways that'll be fucking heat i think you know what i think i'm trying not to talk about it too much but i think you two have the most potential to be awkward maybe not i don't know maybe not you i could see you i don't know maybe i'm wrong maybe both of you maybe all three of us but i could see it being weird i live my life avoiding awkwardness so i think i could see walker handling it i can tell walker's been fucking working out. I can see the goddamn vein in his bicep. I'm fucking scared as fuck.

I've been in the gym like five times the last month. AJ's like, oh, I'm fucked. Oh, dude. I've been in more drive-thrus than the damn fucking gym, buddy. I think that's... Has there ever been a period of your life where that wasn't true? Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, AJ and I had a good run there for a couple months. We had a fucking dog-ass run. Did that coincide with the McDonald's app thing or was that different? I don't know. You should see my points now. Oh, I bet it's...

I'm up. I'm up in the McDonald's app. You think I was scamming? No, I ain't got no I've got a hundred thou Really? I'm so lazy I never fucking So like when can you start spending these points?

Is that how that works? Whenever September 24th comes around So like I feel like you have some meals lined up Oh yeah Have you just never spent them? Oh dude I fucking zero out Like every other day I feel like you have some meals lined up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He has like fucking a week's worth of meals. Have you just never spent them? No, never. Oh, dude, I fucking zero out like every other day. That's sick.

I zero out my points like once a week. Why, dude? Just to get free shit when I feel better about myself not having to spend no money on a meal. Oh, it's free. Walker has breakfast for like a month free. Oh, yeah. Well, not the way I get breakfast, but I've got it definitely free a couple times. You want to know speaking of fast food breakfast of someone that has a dog ass

breakfast for not that much money and it's still fire? Biscuitville. You can get yourself a fucking platter of multiple things. Yeah you can spend like six bucks. Six bucks you get some fire food. The cheese biscuit at Biscuitville is so fucking fire.

And their biscuits and gravy. That's what Graham McKee is. Huge fan. Yeah, the biscuits and gravy is good. Yeah. I'm a big, like, trio guy. I guess. But back to the Instagram. So this dude's been cucked, like, not cucked, but, you know.

He's been scammed, like, ten times. They tried to suck him over, yeah. He just doesn't care me and another one of my friends uh we got we got uh requested by the same girl on instagram so like i started like you know dming her and apparently she started dming him and like we were all dming and he texts me and he's like do you know this girl i was like no she just followed me he was like well i saw that you followed her back. So that's why I accepted her. So I just, I stopped like talking to her.

You were like, this isn't going to go well. So my other friend, his name is Connor. Fucking Connor. Connor D. So she does the scam on him. So he sends her a shirtless pic. So she puts all, like, his fucking mom and all that stuff in a group message. And he's like, I don't give a fuck.

Send me shirtless. Like, that's fine. I thought that was really funny. That was really funny. I wish he had, like, showed his asshole or something. That's really funny because his mom was one of the people that received my goodies. One time me and Austin took a picture of our assholes together. She really sent it?

And sent it to a girl. And the girl was like, I like the one whose ass doesn't look dirty because my ass is so hairy that it just looks like I have a shitty ass. It was pretty cool. Does that sound cool? I have no memory of this, to be honest. It was in my mirror room and we were bent over and goat-seed our asses. Sounds fake. It sounds like one of Walker's mythological.

I'll pull up the Snapchat memory. You don't have to. I'm pretty sure. We'll put it right here. Yep. Right there. Just blur out booty holes, but you guys are fucking wild. You're going to have to blur out all the ridges around it.

Jesus. All right. Well, on that note, I really hope that story. Stop taking fucking pictures of your booty hole. I really hope that story is not true, but I was drinking a lot back then, so who knows. Hey, puffy nipple, you got something coming September fucking 23rd, dude. Hey, bad hairline, shut your ass up, bitch. Take that hat off.

Clenched ass cheeks, fucking. You lost it, bro. I gave you like four insecurities and that's all you could pull up? The puffy nipple. Dirty ass. That's not an insecurity. It's not dirty.

I have the cleanest ass here. I'm willing to bet that on God. Lift that chin up. He's about to get rocked. Yeah, you gotta fucking... I'm done. I'm gonna get my ass no you guys got it you guys got to start your fucking beef you know how they like i'm where i'm excited for the face the face off the or whatever it's fucking called the stair the stair

the stairs head button the fuck out of walker the kissing match on yeah i'm gonna kiss him the kissing match on stage you have to start a fight right there, dude. Bro, that happened. I watched the UFC fight that that happened in. Or it wasn't UFC. It was like the one before UFC. But it was this Asian dude and this white dude. And they met up in the middle of the ring. And the Asian dude just went like.

And kissed him. And the white dude straight up clocked his ass and knocked him out. Which is illegal. So the white guy got thrown out and the Asian guy won the fight. He's like, this was my plan all along. I knew I was going to lose. That's so good. That's what's going to happen.

Ladies and gentlemen, we really appreciate you guys for sticking with us. If you've made it this far, you guys are legends. We love you and appreciate you. You guys have anything else you want to say? No. No, perfect. Make sure you like, comment, follow. Find us on literally every single platform that exists.

Just type in Always Laugh Podcast. You can listen to us, watch us, whatever you want to do. Yeah, we appreciate you guys. Thanks for listening to another episode. My name's Austin Lane. My name is AJ. Our views are steadily going down. I'm Walker.

We out. Love you people.