Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #4 - We All Go on Vacation Together

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

This episode we talk about our big family vacation to the mountains... It Was Messy Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

Austin and his grandma decided to, they did ask, they asked permission, they asked the whole bar and the owner for permission to go outside and moon the entire bar up against the glass window. I didn't have much say in this. Welcome back to the Always Laugh Podcast, I'm Austin Lane. My name's AJ. I am Walker. Big 25 year old fat piece of shit. Big 25-year-old fat piece of shit. He's got no dreams and he's not unique.

Some call him that piece of shit Smith. All right. Hell yeah. I like it. Somebody out there wants you, buddy. That just took a lot out of me. I'm not going to lie. Yeah?

A lot of brain power to come up with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. I spilled some tweet. All right, all right. This episode, boys, I'm not going to have much to say. I'm feeling a little under the weather because I'm being a little soft boy. So good luck out there.

Thanks, dude. He's being an e-boy aj how's your weekend dude dude i was gonna ask you the same thing man how was your weekend my weekend was uh was really honestly hectic as fuck i think we should stick with the theme of the weekend and give me your uh give me your rose and thorn oh so do i do uh do you want me to tell them what we did or just straight up rose and thorn? Straight up. My rose was I snowboarded for the first time and didn't completely die because they set me down the highest and hardest mountain they had at this resort.

And I did it. try of course i fell a couple times on purpose though on purpose on purpose because i didn't know how to stop so i just knew worst case scenario if i just fall down on my butt that's gonna like i'm gonna stop for sure so yeah i fell a couple times my ass is definitely uh black and blue i showed the guys here and they're in my it's my ass crack that's black and blue literally like creeping inside inside your ass crack but that would be my rose that's my rose i snowboarded for the first time like as an adult like when you get to be an adult holy fuck you gotta worry about like i'm like shit i gotta go to work tomorrow i can't fucking injure myself type shit aj did say he he was like, dude, I just can't fuck up my knee.

I got a blue collar job. I'm like, literally, bro, I can't get hurt out here. And my knee started hurting a little bit. And I was like, yeah, I'm calling it right now. I did three runs or whatever it's called. So this is perfect. This leads directly into your thorn. Yep, perfect.

Who would have thought? My thorn would be probably, what would be my thorn? What was I pissed off about? You were pissed off about me getting pissed drunk and not coming to pick you up from the slope while you were freezing to death? Oh, yeah. Fuck. All your drivers got drunk and stranded you for an hour and a half? All right, listen.

We were drunk getting there. So when we got out of the car, I had to change into my snow pants in the parking lot or whatever. And then they just like, I didn't have no instruction on what, no one gave anyone instruction on it. Because we went with a big group of people and half the people were snowboarding and half the people were going to the bar to get absolutely shit faced i was in the shit faced group of course fucking numb nuts over here was in the shit face group dude i have fractured bones in my face i had to set it out don't matter all right so look so they dropped us off with no instruction this is my first time snowboarding, let alone renting snowboarding boots. Don't even know what a lift pass is.

I'm getting shown I do all this shit. All of a sudden, I'm three runs in. I'm like, all right, my knee's starting to hurt a little bit. I'm just going to call it. I get done. I'm soaking wet. Fucking soaking wet because I didn't tuck my... I fell a couple times and I'm soaking wet. Fucking soaking wet because I didn't like tuck my, I fell a couple times and I'm like soaked.

I'm calling Kenzie. Kenzie's fucking blacked. Can't even handle a phone call on the phone. Hands the phone to Austin every single time to explain what's going on. They're like, yeah, we're going to come get you in a minute. Austin's like, just go to the bar and get a beer dude we'll be there in a minute i'm like oh my fucking god dude i'm like i got the poosh iced yon i'm not taking it off and because my beard is all fucked up and uh so that kind of

leads directly into my rose and my thorn for the weekend my rose for the weekend. Wait a minute. But they took an hour to come get me, bro. And they show up hammered. Shivering. I was so fucking cold, dude. You don't understand. Bone was about to die. Go ahead, Austin. I'm sorry.

Now that I think about it, it seems like I was just going to say two thorns. You just had a shitty weekend. I think I was just going gonna say two negative ass things um one of my roses well my rose i guess i have many roses but one of them for sure is uh the ride up when we just got absolutely hammered on the way up. Fucking idiots. Can we say that?

Can we talk about that? I mean, it's slightly illegal, but only the passengers were drinking. So I think it's fine. This will really help me with my resolution to get fired this year. Drink responsibly. It was just a vibe the whole way up. we had to keep pulling over on the side of the road to take pee breaks um walker was or not walker aj was smoking dick at one point on the side of the road all right can you please just elaborate on that because that just sounds it was smoking dick dude oh my god bro I wrong? These motherfuckers, look.

You know, it's all guys that are best friends. And Kenzie, my fiance. Are we best friends? Yeah, for sure. I mean, you're my best friend. I don't know if you claim me quite just yet, but I claim you. I thought I only claimed you. I thought this was a one-way street.

It's mutual, my guy. I'm glad it's a roundabout. We're mutual we're all mutual mutual best friends yeah so we're pulled over on the side of the road but they judged me they judged me by the way I grabbed my freaking shit

they judged me because I was leaning out the car on the side and I just happened to go like that he's holding it like a cigarette I was like AJ you're literally smoking dick right now I'm like smoking dick So it was me and Austin peering over the car door

Like chipmunks Looking at it Kenzie Kenzie claims him So she obviously has to have a look Yeah but I was just I was uncomfortable and that just happened to be The way I grabbed my shit

i don't know why it was definitely a sight to see yeah if your family just disregard all that conversation yeah you you might want to skip ahead that's your rose or your thorn that was allison's rose well that was my that was i like how you tell them to skip the conversation after we've had the conversation yeah they'll be all right oh shit um yeah that was my rose watching aj smoke dick on the side of the road uh my thorn um i've got a couple but i'm just gonna go with a safe one and say um attaboy uh everybody i was kind of just like stuck in the middle i was like

the middle man between all the bitchy drunk people that all had problems like oh come pick me up oh blah blah blah just all these different little issues i'm like why does everybody contact me everybody's contacting me for help i'm like bro fuck. I am the drunkest one here. I am not going to help you. But that wasn't really that bad because like I said, I was pretty intoxicated so I was having a good time regardless. How many tall boys did you have on the three hour trip up there?

Probably like four. Four? Four or five. I shotgunned one of them. Buddy had four Twisted Tees on the way up there, and one was shotgunned. It really was like a performance for the ages. It was amazing. We had to have bought damn near 15 Tweez on a three-hour drive. We did the math.

I think it was like 13 or 14. Yeah, we fucking- 13 or 14 Tweez. You are shitty. That is perfectly legal but you can't buy motherfucking weed in this state that shit is not right bro what is it seven tweets seven tweets a pack of new ports i'm saying but you can go on a road trip and buy 13 to 14 tweets and fucking other shit and you can't fucking even smoke a goddamn weed. Well, I'm sure if somebody saw us buy all 13, they probably would have called us. They just happen to be a multiple gas station.

Yeah, we split it up. That's how you finesse, for real. Damn. My bad. Don't adjust my shit, though. Back that shit up a little bit. Kenzie, thank you for being the DD. Well, I'm yelling.

Yeah, a little. Oh, my fault. My fault. I'm activated. Walker, Rose and Thorn. What is it? My Rose is when I was skiing, and I was about halfway down the slope, and I veered off into the park.

And I hit a couple jumps, and then I hit this big jump at the end. You know where it goes up in the middle, but there's the two side ones? I hit one of the side ones, so it wasn't a big jump, but it was like a big jump for me. So I land it and Zachary, who is Austin's brother, has somehow caught up to me and he's right next to me. And he's like, he just does like, you know, he sounds like one of those girls from Avatar 1 when they're calling like their birds. You know what I'm talking about? No, I'm sorry.

He's like, yeah! It's something like that, right? And, uh, it scared me so fucking bad, bad. I just like, like bit it straight into him.

I made us both wipe out. Um, so yeah, my rose was, uh, that probably taking my brother out, taking your brother out. Yeah,

for sure. My thorn was probably eating a bad cheeseburger at the lodge Friday night and basically sleeping on the bathroom floor for the better part of Friday or Saturday morning. Yeah. I have a new or another, a better rose, actually, that I just thought of that was definitely more funny for sure. Please. My new rose, besides snowboarding for the first time, would be Mr. Austin himself and also his grandma.

Austin and his grandma decided to, they did ask they asked permission they asked the whole bar and the owner for permission to go outside and moon the entire bar up against the glass window i didn't have much say in this and this is his grandma bro i've seen his grandma's ass multiple times now if we go on a vacation with their with his grandparents grandma sue's ass is popping out when my grandma gets a little bit intoxicated she uh when she gets it when she gets an idea in her head she does not back down and she typically drags me along with because i'm about the only one that's dumb enough to do them with her so yeah no that was uh that was honestly like and it was so funny they did that and then walked back

in in the whole bar game like a standing ovation we're all everyone in there's fucking drunk and these motherfuckers want to show their ass and press it up against i was like grandma i don't know if i should i was like you can probably get away with this a little better like i'm a grown man just showing my ass to a room full of people like they're probably not gonna want to see this so funny guys this so funny, guys? Yeah, like, look at my ass. Dude, it's so funny because there's tables right there against the glass window. And his grandma doesn't just pull her pants down. She pulls her pants down and bends over.

So you can see fully. You can potentially see everything. Yes or no? You left a little residue on the glass. You know, buddy, left a little dingleberry on there there's some potential for it i'm not even talking about but like them greasy ass cheeks i know there was like a perfect butt left out on a little bit of acne residue i was sweating

out fucking twisted teas at that point there There was probably some residue. That's probably eaten through that glass now. They're going to have to replace that whole thing. Fuck, but yeah, that's my new rose, man. Walker, did you ever eat shit on the horse? Real quick, we told all the roses and thorns, but nobody actually knows what we did. We never really said that. That's what I meant. It's context clues.

They don't need to really be filled in. I mean, you can fill them in if you want to. Nah, nah, fuck them. I'll tell them you're down bad. We went on a,

we went on a ski, ski, a snowboard trip to Beach Mountain in North Carolina. Yeah, it was my grandparents and about 14, 25 year olds there. All packed into this Airbnb. It was a good time.

And let me tell you, the grandparents are more fun than a lot of the individuals who were there. Who wasn't fun? No, I'm just saying. Call them out, AJ. They party harder than a lot of us is what I'm trying to say. Oh, for sure. The grandparents know how to have a good time.

They have more fun than probably a lot of us there type shit dude i had amazing time with the grandparents everybody um but getting back dude i ate it bad um i tried to take the black diamond real fast i should have known by the hill called black diamond that it was some serious dude listen to this shit i want it was my second the second time going up the thing we get up there i hear uh our friend uh our friend jacob and austin's brother zach um be like yo this is black you sure and zach's like shut up yeah we good this is black mount and in my head i'm like like, bro, like, I know, like, them saying that and, like, oh, like, secretively, I'm like, oh, they trying to set me up. I went down that bitch. I came to her a little, to, like, a thing, and I couldn't see what was over the hill.

I just was praying it was just more snow. I was going so, I swear to God, I was going 30 miles, 30, 40 miles per hour, bro. That shit was no joke. I did send it. They can't say I didn't send it, though, damn mountain yeah i i ate it on that that one and you know it's a black diamond at in north carolina at beach mountain did you see me go oh no i didn't see you go bro i didn't see you besides the first run shredded but like you know this is like a hard green and gnarly west coast gnarly but i ate it if you know you i i had a fire sale on this black diamond and ended up having to hike

up like a hundred yards of my ski boot to get one of my skis that i left up there i've got a bruise from about right here to about right here. Jesus. All the way down the side of your leg. Dude, I can only sleep on my right side. It's been a... I also slept on the floor for two of the three nights of the weekend. Dude, my body is not in a good place right now. Do you remember how down bad I was that first... My trap or whatever?

My trap muscle in my back or whatever like my traps my trap muscle in my back or whatever oh yeah bro i couldn't even like roll over in the bed i had like a like push myself to roll over now i'm straight but that first night i was feeling like a 70 year old man type shit when you don't work those muscles ever that first time i slammed it was from a slam I like heard some Crack I'm sure it was a little column A

A little column B A little column C too What's column C? Where you just fucking Don't do that type of shit On daily I thought that was column A That was literally column A

Oh my fault My Excel sheet's all fucked up I'll send you the updated version my formulas are fucked up i had a what was it like equals some fucking parentheses yeah your v lookup was all fucked up yeah dude my fault my fault oh shit you heard that that was in the money that needs to be in my asmr section save one of those dude i don't know if i have any more left. Save the other side.

I almost broke my damn neck doing that shit. Yeah, me and Austin slept in the equivalent of a hobbit hole this weekend. It was dope. It was above the master bedroom. It's hard to describe. Dude, do you have a picture? Is there a picture on the Airbnb? We inserted the top of this house. I have a picture, but I picture on the airbnb we inserted this house i

have a picture but i can insert probably about eight square feet and just carpet and like dude it was like above the kitchen it was just a little cut out triangle it looked like an attic but it was eight square feet austin's like hey yo y'all seen this shit i'm like no way no one getting up there dude let alone we're all fucked up. Oh, dude. AJ just peaked the fucking microphone. When you yelled, you fucked it up bad. I don't care, dude. Austin's going to bounce that a couple times. What's the worst that happens?

I'm too loud now. It was unbelievable, man. It was literally like we slept on the floor, but 13 feet above the ground. We were on the floor. It's so weird. We were on the floor, but in the ceiling at the same on the floor weird we were on the floor but in the ceiling at the same time which is i i had a good time up there what was the airflow like up there you're fucking miserable that's your ass austin in the middle of the night gets down i was like

i know y'all was up there farting and shit walker was ripping ass dude no i don't do that I don't do that. I don't fart. Straight up, I don't fart. You queef. Yeah, exactly. I told Austin, I was like, dude, I will legitimately kill myself if you don't go get that fan. So he goes and steals the fan from his little sister and her boyfriend. And Lexi sits up like a zombie. And she's like, where are you taking that?

She's like, you're a dick You're taking my fan So then Yeah you don't take someone's fan bro So then I have the fan Well we had zero airflow up there It was hot as fuck And so we had the fan pointed at us

And Lexi After we fall asleep apparently Gets up in the middle of the night And turns the heat off In the whole fucking house Because they're too hot And we wake up And it's fucking freezing Like I'm shivering my dick off up there Austin had shifted in the whole fucking house because they're too hot. And we wake up and it's fucking freezing.

Like, I'm shivering my dick off up there. Austin had shifted in the night and bunched my blanket under his ass. So from the knee down, I was exposed and just blocks of ice. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was shivering. Kenzie, what was your Rosenthorn of the weekend?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's hear it. Let's go. Assistant to the assistant podcast intern. My rose was hanging out with all the homies. Unemployed podcast. For multiple days and just having a good time. My thorn was honestly the hungover drive home detox vibe. Yeah. the ride home was a bit rough i was shout out to walker for

walker dude walker clutched up he fucking thugged it out on the way home he for sure thugged it out i definitely i damn sure couldn't have done it i was down bad that last day walker said we need to pull over i'm shaking a friday night dude i had maybe like two beers saturday so by sunday i was good to go i felt like a million can i tell them what what you pulled over and got at the store no um walker just went and got some water at the store he said i'm shaking and got some water. He said, damn, I'm really thirsty. I need some agua. I was super dehydrated. Some agua.

Agua. All right, so other than the... Deadass trying to get me fired. Deadass. The ski chair. Dude, you said you wanted to get fired in 2020. I said it in jest, AJ. What is jest? I'm being 2023. I said it in jest, AJ. What is jest?

I'm being real. I already emailed your employer. Oh, my fault. Trying to help you out, bro. Thank God I took my company shirt off. It'd be over for my ass. I was on your LinkedIn. I found you.

Oh, you're fine. Walker, you're fine. Daddy owns the company. Oh, fuck. Oh, you didn't want Daddy owns the company. Oh, fuck. Oh, you didn't want me to bring that up. Shit, you're a dick, man. Why would you do that? Was that fucked up?

Hell yeah. Was that fucked up? To the soul. Was that fucked up? My bad. No, no, it's just- I didn't mean it. I've been super conscious and insecure about for like fucking months on end and, you know,

came to you as a friend and you know in a and you talked me through it and helped me through it but i'm glad you can bring it up on a podcast and make light of it me too he just he's one of them people that can't just make funny you on his own he has to make funny you to our 18 subscribers speaking of our 18 subscribers boys um did anybody win the podcast giveaway i have no idea i think somebody did they did shout them out man but uh all right hold on let's see because one person followed the instructions yeah look at him oh no demarco won the or uh yeah demarco won the first uh the from the first. DeMarco won the first podcast.

DeMarco won that one. So, shout out, DeMarco. You're the grand prize winner, buddy. You're the man, dude. Somebody talk while I'm trying to figure this out. But look, though. Look, Austin, I'm about to just start making my own shit, bro. We're going to simplify this shit all the way down.

We're not about to start. My opinion is we're not about to start doing this shit every fucking episode, bro. Once we get 100 subscribers, then we're going to do another one. What? Can we just do that? For what? Giveaways? Yeah.

Oh, no. I was thinking about that today. We're not going to do another giveaway for a little bit. 100 subscribers. We'll do a giveaway to a random lucky subscriber. And then we'll do it at 500 and 1,000 and then 10,000 and go from there. Is it hot as shit in here to you guys? Bro, you got the heat in this bitch.

It is hot as a bitch. I bet you it's 75 degrees in here. I'm leaking. No, it's either 74 or 75. I can tell by the way I'm climbing. I could only find one person that followed the rules for the giveaway for last week. And it was fucking Kenzie. Kenzie.

Damn it. Kenzie's back to executive producer. We got to give our executive producer the merch. Kenzie, you've been totally redeemed in my eyes. You're back to executive producer. I know you don't care at all, but I thought I'd let you know. What's the temperature in here? Yeah, what's the temp at?

71. What? It was at 72. Like, it was already at 72. It was at 74. That's a set point. Literally 30 minutes ago, and I thought I just got lucky guessing it because it was at that before.

I'm leaking. Maybe it's because you got a hat on the inside. You should take that off. Good shit. Good shit. I'm not ready yet. She put it on 69. Jay, come on, man. 100 subscribers, I'll. I'm not ready yet. She put it on 69. AJ, come on,

man. 100 subscribers, I'll take the hat off, bro. Period. And I'm being sincere on that. YouTube's getting a lot of new accounts. Wait, on what platform? Because AJ is on all the platforms. Every single one. I'm about to be live on Twitch here in a minute if you stop playing with me.

You got the PC for it. Bro, no, I'm saying we're going to have this lot. AJ bought a minute if you stop playing with me you got the pc for it bro no i'm saying i'm we gonna have this aj bought a two thousand dollar gaming pc to look at express at spreads x to get all spreadsheets and microsoft edge microsoft i get on microsoft Microsoft Edge. Dude, I got the newest of the new, the best graphics. I got the, well, at the time. You got the RTX. No, I got the 3060 Ti graphics card.

I got the whatever, the whatever, with the whatever. If your man's ain't got dual monitor, he's a bitch. But listen, I got the dual monitor. If we get a podcast Twitter, we should post a picture of my monitor set up in the office. Dude, why does it feel like there's a cat climbing behind the couch, bro? Y'all got a cat or something? That's me doing my nervous tick. No cat, bud. I know you was back there scratching all the time.

I knew you was back there scratching on something i knew he was back there scratching so i completely derailed you i've already made that joke before though i got the best of the best computer setup literally to get on google yeah and i don't get on discord and talk to my ass this man hey tom the tool man Chill out bro Facts I just perked that You remember But fuck Tim Allen though Apparently he's a piece of shit Yeah he's out here

Flashing people Oh hold on Fuck Dude alright Can I give some advice To our podcast Yeah for sure Do not idolize men

They will always Disappoint you It always comes out They touch somebody Or they flash somebody Do not idolize men. They will always disappoint you. It always comes out. They touch somebody or they flash somebody or they're just a general piece of shit. Take them off the hero list. Do you want to hear my man piece of shit that I was planning on talking about? My man piece of shit. Oh, is this one of the topics?

Yeah. AJ, before the podcast came to us, he was like, hey, man, do you all ever come up with topics for the podcast? And when AJ asks a question like that, you know he came up with topics for the podcast. I'm just trying to see where their heads at for real before I expose myself. Let's see one of these topics. One of my, I don't know if y'all know this or not,

but it's relatively news like in my in my genre of the internet um y'all might think it's lame though justin bieber sold fucking his music rights like for 200 million to all his songs the fuck do you sell them to i don't know i mean he just sold them like he no longer has his music rights like so he sold them to a record label i don't know yeah i'm assuming but like does that mean we're about to start hearing justin bieber in commercials i'm saying does does that just mean justin bieber's like done with music he just doesn't give a fuck what he just moved on or like well what is that all about i don't know why i think they just bought there's like a thing have you guys saw that he sold that shit i haven't

seen that but like unless it was fake so he sold his it up I think it is he sold his masters so he loses like he might be able to still perform that but like he can't Kenji can you look that up for me just to verify he can't make money on that content anymore

or on that music anymore like that goes to whatever like I think I think it was like like baby type shit like all them iconic songs

that he had no he no longer gets paid for them I mean he's a he has really really taken a turn from what he used to be as a musician. I feel like he's kind of... He's eager to get away from that.

He wants to be a skateboarder. He wants to be that type of vibe, I feel like. Bro, you can't just do that. I don't know, man. He's got more money than God, and he's already one of the most famous people in the planet. Lil Wayne is the only one that can convert to a skateboarder and actually be called a skateboarder.

I think Lil Wayne is classified as a professional skateboarder, even though he's not that good. He's like the worst example of that. No, I support Lil Wayne. Shout out Frankie Muniz. G5 sitting on the runway. Thanks for the podcast. Big ass chopper caught up as Beyonce.

It says he sold his whole music catalog, so I don't know what that means. Shit. That's what I'm saying. Is he done with music or he just said, fuck it, I'm unloading this shit. It doesn't say rights. It doesn't say masters. It just says music catalog. I mean, dog, 200 million.

That's generational. And it says more than 200 million. Oh, it's more than 200? Yeah, I mean, shit. That'd be tough to turn down. Shit. That was one of my things I wanted to talk about. That might be, honestly, a smart investment move.

He just said, fuck it. I don't imagine Justin Bieber's music particularly appreciating over time. Bro, Mariah Carey's still getting Love on Christmas I'm not trying to trash Justin Bieber Or anything like that Mariah Carey's one of the greatest singers of all time So is Justin Bieber

So is Bieber bro Buddy has been famous Since like nine years old He's one of the greatest male singers of all time No He's better than Timberlake and all of them. Success does not equal talent, Austin. I don't care.

He is extremely talented. Eminem is like top two rapper all time. He is. Actually, he's top one. That is just fucking... Number one, Eminem's one of the... Two turn-apart boys going around... Eminem.

Put that gerbil in my asshole think my ass gone craig we're gonna have to mute all of that um outside i hear you dude no i hear your opinion i really do but like you can't we're honestly think not everybody's right all the time, you know? I almost got your AJ. You can't honestly believe Justin Bieber's one of the best male singers of all time. I 100%

fully believe that. If I could have one person's singing voice on this earth, it would be Justin Bieber's hands down. Who are you picking, Walker? Off the top of my head, like Michael Bublé. Who? picking, Walker? Off the top of my head, like Michael Buble. A who? Bro, what?

Talk about the Christmas albums. That's the king. I thought you was about to say Rubens Stutter. Did I stutter? No, I did. Oh. Nah, man. I wouldn't call you out like that.

I didn't miss until I was 8 years old little baby the best singer out little baby over the years bro over the years Walker I know you're just

doing that thing bro you ever heard of raw wave you're trying to like argue with me and disagree we all know Justin Bieber

is one of the greatest of all time that boy raw wave up there too one of the greatest of all time. That boy Raw Wave up there too. One of the greatest singing voices to ever bless the music community. Can I tell you about something that really the shades came up in my young life. I was on the bus one time and my friend

Nick Proto shout out. No way that fucking guy ever hears this. He might. He was one of those guys that I was like, holy, you are way too cool for me to even be around. That's an interesting role model. Yeah. I wouldn't say role model, but really cool guy.

Cool dude, for sure. I was like, man, Justin Bieber sucks. I hate his music. And he was like, yeah, I don't really like his music, but he seems like a really cool guy. Like, I'd probably hang out with him. And I was like, you can, what? You, what?

I was like, oh my God, you can like, you don't have to just hate a person. You can just not like something they do and, you know, move on with it. I thought that was, it was like a a true like watershed moment in my life cool yeah thank you for sharing that story from your childhood yeah yeah thank you you want to hear something you said you were on the bus and this happened do you want to know what i used to think when i was on the bus like if it was like a rainy day or some shit yeah so like i used to have to walk a like like probably three quarters of a mile to the bus stop in the morning i lived on dead end street last house on the left you know and um i just have to walk to the end of the corner

to the bus stop and uh sometimes it'd be, like, raining and shit. And, like, at the time, like, I had a Walkman. You feel me? Like, CD player. Hell yeah. In middle school. Like, middle school. You were, like, the hottest thing out right then. I'm saying, like, everyone had a Walkman.

Like, I wasn't shit. Oh, really? I mean, like, just a standard CD player. Like, they weren't that, like, crazy. If you had, like, an MP3 or, like, iPod or some shit. I don't think a CD player and a Walkman are two different things. Are they really? Yes.

Is that facts? No, a Walkman is like the old... That's from like... My fault. The fucking... I'm going too far. That's from like the early 90s. I think the Walkman, you could put the CD in it.

I'm saying I just had a standard CD player, bro. I had a standard CD player. We'll pop up a picture of a Walkman. Or you had to keep that bitch flat so the CD, if you turned it on an angle. The ones you could hang on your belt that turned sideways, though, that was hot. Well, look, though. That was hot. No, listen.

A Walkman is a portable cassette player. AJ's talking about a CD player, but his mom is old school, so she probably called it a Walkman. I mean, those existed, too, like the portable CD players. Oh, yeah, for sure. So, look, I used to have my Walkman, and I'd get on the bus, and, like, of course, like, there was some rainy days and shit. I used to have my head just pressed against the window,

just looking out, just like, mmm, like whatever the 8 Mile soundtrack is, thinking I'm Eminem, like, trying to go to the shelter and shit. I'm way out in the country, thinking I'm Eminem, like trying to go to the shelter or shit. I'm way out in the country, thinking I'm Eminem pulling up to the shelter, about to get my clothes from behind the garbage. That is so funny you say that. Whatever that fucking soundtrack is, bro. I downloaded songs on my Razer flip phone,

and I would just, I was bumping to like, oh, fuck. The, I can't even remember the song. Fucking Kurt Cole. flip phone and I would just I was bump into like well by like like Led Zeppelin and I would play it on yeah like the whole bus ride like just like I was listening to Chingy Holiday Inn lud, Ludacris, Word of Mouth, all that shit. You were listening to straight heat is what you were listening to. Straight Eminem, Curtain Call. And I went through my little death metal era when I dyed my hair black and shit.

I had Lamb of God, all that type of shit, bro. We got pictures? Damn. Yeah. Can we pull up a picture from AJ's death metal era? Oh, I was death metal the fuck out, bro. We're popping that up on the screen. I was actually seen.

I was seen. You know what that shit is? They don't do that shit no more. You went down to the hot topic and you got weird. Oh, yeah. We were just talking about this the other day. I remember I saw a picture of Lil Wayne in, like, I think it was seventh grade. Lil Wayne came out with these red skinny jeans on.

This is when skinny jeans were like, oh, you're fucking out here if you're wearing skinny jeans. Like, you are different. Lil Wayne came out with the red skinny jeans on. I went to Hot Topic. I actually went to PacSun. Grabbed me a pair from PacSun. You know them bitches were like $50, bro. Thought I was the crispiest thing out.

I went to school and got clowned. I'm talking about my friends. If I was still friends with them bitch ass motherfuckers, they would clown me to this day over that shit. Remember when AJ came to school with the fucking red skinny jeans on? He looked like a bitch. Like, damn, dog. i was nice with it how skinny were they oh they were skin tight bro like they were like real skinny jeans like ain't no i had

a little sag you know you feel me like i could picture that like 100 picture that way tighter that's not even tight bro your thighs are too big that's casual yeah really i feel like these are like these are like casual jeans. But you got to think, bro. Yours are tight up here because you have tree trunk fucking thighs on you. You're a real ass adult. In seventh grade, your legs were like twigs, bro. So they were tight.

They were extremely tight. Extremely tight. You got the slim pair. They were skinny. AJ got the- S-K-I-N-N-Y. They were probably super skinnies. There's something called like super skinnies. They were skinny AJ got the SKINNY 24 waist They were probably Super skinnies

There's something called Like super skinnies They were super skinnies Yeah you had super skinnies They were bullhead Red joint The red joint Super skinny

If you know You know You weren't around For the bullhead era You ever seen that picture Of that dude Who got The pants by accident

And they were 30 by 52 damn how do you accidentally get those where the fuck did he get eight feet well that's not what 52 is by 12 but you want to know something it was a lot it was a lot speaking of skinny jeans or it's like similar to skinny jeans but like i was rocking the skinny jeans at Northwest, the country school, and then I went to- AJ, I'm sorry to cut you off. No, no, you're good, you're good. We need Kenzie to turn you up.

Kenzie, can you turn up his mic real quick? Turn me up. Hurry, hurry, hurry. We only got 10 seconds. Turn me up, turn me up. Why? What's going on? Turn me up, turn me up, turn me up.

Yep, all the way. What's going on, bro? Why are you turning me up? Not you. Can y'all hear me? Yeah. Welcome back to Walker's- Shit, bro? Why are you turning me up? Not you. Can y'all hear me? Yeah. Oh. Welcome back to Walker's ASMR section. AJ, you should have looked at the clock and had some, just an ounce of situational awareness.

But instead, you have zero. And once again, you've got into my ASMR section. Listen, this is just a message out there to the homies. Keep doing you. I love you. This shit is going to go tits up real soon, so get yours while you can. All right.

Kenzie, can you go ahead and turn them down? No, that was fire, yeah. Hey, we're going tits up, boys. Can you line up the thing where the other things are Just to be safe Thank you Either get with it or get lost Get with it or get lost Get right or get lost

Oh I'm way louder than I used to be You guys are gonna be I'm way louder Hold on dude Kenzie Kenzie just fucked it No bro chill out I'm taking my headset off bro

Fuck that Damn Kenzie you didn't line it up With the other ones at all Look hey before you know it boys We going to be sponsored by Twisted Tea. There you go. Y'all going to be talking shit when I'm sipping on a twee. When I'm sipping on... Never mind.

I was about to say some mad disrespectful shit. Am I better? Yeah, you're way better. Well, since y'all cut me off from my story, can I go? You're just going to have to cut that. No, it wasn't even that bad. I mean, like, it's fine bad i mean like it's not it's fine it was like yeah it's like aj 90 of the time on the podcast pretty much in the mic well as you

what the fuck you over here trying to talk about man get your fucking get your point across the topic list what's the next he's gonna take the next five the last five minutes of the podcast to fucking tell a story let's hear it i just was saying it was funny i was rocking the on the red skinnies at like the country school yep back to this when i went to the city school i had a lot 29 joints on the fucking baggy joints and with the tall t yeah did they like you oh i was i i was i was in no lot 29 was back in the day. But all right, skip that, though. That ain't shit. Huh. AJ, what's next on the topic list? Another random topic. Somewhere down in there.

How far you want to go on this shit? Because I kind of want to go like another time. It might have to be real deep down the list. Can we go another time? We'll think about it. We'll see how your stories are. I was under the influence the other day just thinking about like life and shit and um and i just was thinking i'm like bro like i saw like a

uh what sparked this conversation and i know the essential i know like the whole like deep down answer to this shit but i saw a piece of land for sale right like just we just drove by and there was a piece of land for sale like some acres and i said damn bro is the whole fucking like you united states just owned like i'm saying like the is the whole like not talking about the world but it's the whole united states just owned by somebody? And I'm not speaking like Christopher Columbus type shit. I'm talking about where he killed everyone and just took the fucking land. I'm just saying, though, like,

is the whole U.S. just owned by somebody? Like, is there any places of land that are not owned by anybody? I feel like it's either owned by the government. Well, yeah. It's all... Either way, it's owned by the government or individuals it's either, I feel like it's either owned by the government, well, yeah, it's all, either way, it's owned by the government

or individuals. It's a tricky situation. Whether they like to. There's certain, well, like, it's, I mean, this is kind of semantical, so it's kind of bullshit, but there are, like,

certain unincorporated zones that aren't technically owned by anything. But, yes, I guess. It's all bullshit, though. For the most part, it's like government. It's either U.S. government

or individuals. It's fucking bullshit. That just made me spark the conversation. I said, damn, this is a whole fucking U.S. Can I try to convert y'all to one of my principles? You can try your damnedest. Land back, baby. Land back, baby?

Like back to the Native Americans? Land back. Yeah, pretty much. It's kind of a theory that, you know, when we came... Well, basically when that scumbag Columbus came over. Dude, sometimes I just hate being a white male. All the time, actually.

So sometimes. More than not. Because this is so annoying. We just came in and took land. And we basically were like, alright, this is ours now. And then we sold it. We didn't do a fucking thing. The motherfuckers back then.

Yeah. No shit. We got to go to work every day and shit. No shit. But like, so we came in, we took the land, we pre-proportioned it and sold it to ourselves and then pass that down

through generations. And now, you know, like we still own just stolen land. Like, like, we still own just stolen land. Like, I want to give a task to our listeners. Read Empire of the Summer Moon and Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. And after you stop crying,

get back to me. Walker? We're not going 10 more minutes. We got about It's fine A minute left of this drivel Yeah we're We're falling off this

You guys need to answer My rapid fire questions Alright let's hear them Kenzie Shit Answer them as rapidly as possible On one condition On one condition Kenzie You check the battery life

On that camera Do we go 1, 2, 3 And then we can do it Yeah that's a good question Kenzie Do we go 1, 2, 3 Or all at the same time one two three where the fuck is it you got up 24 let's go all right okay ready this way we're gonna go aj austin walker sure all right let's get it least favorite chore dishes nothing was fast about that not Not at all. Fucking laundry, for sure.

Oh, we're doing it like... I thought we were just getting a different question. Oh. No, sorry. All the same. I'm not that good. Okay, least favorite chore? Boring question.

I've got a lot of least favorite chores, you know. I could really... God damn it, Walker. We are doing ten more minutes. So, ranked least favorite to most least favorite. I would say it is folding laundry. Oh, the worst.

Cleaning out a toilet that you've only used half the time. Oh, when you sweep and then dry Swiffer and then you have to actually mop

because you're in a fucking manic cleaning state. And for some reason, that sounded like a good idea. When you get to the actual wet mop part, that's my least favorite part. That's all I got. Next question, please. Favorite liquor brand. Liquor? Shit. Ior? Shit.

I barely know her. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Liquor, what was we just drinking? Hold on, hold on. Let me catch my breath. No, we just, the other day, I just had Fireball. Fireball? No, I just had that.

Pink Whitney. It was at Lexi's house, Kendall Jenner's liquor. The 801 or whatever the fuck it's called. 818. 818. That shit was trash as fuck. No, it was fire, bro. Don't even do that.

Mid-ass tequila. I'm also a big Corlejo. Me? Corlejo, guys. Shout out Marco and Beth. Patron. Tequila. I'd say probably Catawana.

Or Henny. All right, I got one last question. Shout out Beth and Marco. One last question and we're out this motherfucker. What is your favorite non-curse word, one word insult? Did you hear her? What? Favorite one word...

Non-curse word, one word insult. Towards AJ. Go. Towards AJ? Can I use curse words in conjunction with it One word Charlatan Jack wagon

God damn it I don't fucking know I thought it was towards AJ It's towards AJ You can't do it towards yourself dude You're a fucking jack wagon You're an fucking jack wagon. You're an idiot.

You fucking numb nuts. A fruit loop dingus. Is that two words technically? The hyphens are doing a lot of work there. Fruit loop dingus. That's my final answer. Are we wrapping this up or are we going to keep fucking... Everyone, thank you for listening to the Always Laugh Podcast. I'm Austin Lane.

I'm AJ motherfucking Allen. Please like and subscribe on this YouTube video right here. And if you're a listener, go over to YouTube. If you're a watcher on YouTube, go over to all the other platforms. You know, Apple, Amazon.

What's the other one? Spotify and Google. Thank you all for tuning in. We're out. Love you guys