Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #40 - Life Goals and Failures So Far

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

This episode we talk about dreams of going to the NFL/NBA, divorce rates, and retiring in your 20s. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

Welcome back to the always laugh podcast. My name is Austin Lane. My name is AJ. I'm Walker the misadjusted and malaligned. Malaligned and misadjusted? Something like that. Hell yeah. Cool Walker. What's up boys? Walker do you just talk out of your ass every single day of your life or do you save it for the podcast? Yeah just pretty much it's just like a constant stream as soon as i wake up walker you look like you mainlined heroin are you fucking awake right now yeah dude i'm awake are you sleepy no dude i'm totally awake right now look at this man he's nodding out at the mic got that dope lean baby all. Oh, hell yeah. He's back. He's tightening up.

He's back in. He's back. Let's go. You see the display. Yeah, new vibes. We're good. Shot the display. The setup's set up, if you will. We might make little changes over time, but that is what it is.

Today's theme, life goals and failures, baby. What did we want to happen and what didn't happen? You guys got anything for me? Who's starting? Walker, what you got? I don't want to start off. Oh, please. Come on.

AJ, you got anything? I got something. All right. What's up? I really wanted to go to college. I did. I went. I went there.

My mom forced me to go to a real college. She would not let me go to a community college. She knew I was better than that. So she's like, you got to go to a real school. So I was sent off to a real school. I only got accepted to one. That's where I went. So you really wanted to go to school?

No, I just wanted to continue to try to make it to the NBA. Ah. Yeah. So you were just there to play ball. You think I wanted to go to school. No. That's why when you started off, I was like, he's lying through his fucking teeth right now. Well, I got there, and ask me how long I was there for.

How long were you there for? A semester and about a week. Yeah. I mean, what happened? that's a good run oh you got you may ask what happened i got that is what i asked i got kicked out i got kicked out why i got i got in some legal trouble man man. I thought I was invincible. And I'm going to blame it on my roommate who got me onto this shit. But I was stealing. I was stealing some shit.

I was like T. Grizzly, but in Adrian, Michigan. So you're going to blame me. What is T. Grizzly like? He got kicked out of Michigan State for breaking into a dorm room, stealing iPads and shit. Oh, you were in a dorm rooms stealing iPads? I was in lacrosse locker room. Stealing iPads? Stealing mouth guards? What the hell were you stealing?

Kids are loaded, bud. We fucking used to run lacrosse. If you're going to steal from a locker room, the lacrosse locker room is probably the one to hit. Honestly. Yeah. We ran through the lacrosse locker room, buddy. Multiple instances. Once I found out, like,

they literally leave their backpacks in here, like, chilling, doors not locked. And, yeah, I didn't have any morals back then. So have you. I got caught, man. That's a bad guy. That's a bad guy move, dude. Yeah, that's not very nice of you.

I'm glad you've learned from that. So your goal, your life goal was to make it to the NBA. That was the dream. Yeah, it was cool. Like, that's the whole reason I went to college, like, to try to continue to play basketball. It was D3, too, so, like, I had to walk on. Like, they don't give scholarships for D3. So I had to walk on.

Or, like, they have, like, preferred shit, but I was just like yeah i had to walk on you went in raw i didn't even play on jv you guys may wonder what jv is on their own yeah i didn't know college had a jv team it's a practice team you're the practice squad so you're part of the manager there's no but you're a part i played you're a step up from the water boy yeah practice though you never got called up? They never called your name? No. I scored a total of two points.

Bro, you were trying to get into it. Oh, so you played in-game in a college basketball game. JV, though. They have your own JV schedule. You're playing other D3 JV teams. Other college JV teams. I've heard that going to the next level with sports, it's like everything's so much faster. Was it like college? I've heard that going to the next level with sports, it's like everything's so much faster.

Was it like that? Yeah. It was so much faster. Bro, I'm laughing at D3JV teams, and any one of those guys would beat me 11-0. It's wild. 100%. Bro, you were trying to get into the 80s NBA.

You're like, I'll get the charge first, and then after that, I'll be good. So that so that was my goal like make it to the NBA first step making the NBA had to get to college first step make it to the NBA what was the second step go to college oh second step go to college what's third step number three steal ships from lacrosse people and then yeah I had no money and those steps seem to go in the wrong order the work study that look they had it we had a social move they were giving us money for the uh to work the football concessions it's the whole basketball team working a concession stand so you can only imagine how many people were working so i used to get paid from that but like i'm like i

can't get a job so like i end up fucking ended up fucking just stealing, taking the easy way out. And then I got kicked out. And then it took me seven years to pay off probation and shit. And, yeah. I'm glad you got out of that. One of my life goals is very similar. Do I not look like an NFL player to you guys? Like, I just don't get it.

I don't get what the scouts didn't see. I don't get what the college recruiters didn't see. Like, I'm the best wide receiver to ever come out of Sanderson High School. I just don't get it. I don't get what the scouts didn't see. I don't get what the college recruiters didn't see. I'm the best wide receiver to ever come out of Sanderson High School, hands down. By far the best. Best route runner, best hands, for sure. That's a given. The only thing I didn't have was the size, but the size came later,

so I don't really see why I'm not in the NFL. I mean, I had some injury issues, But other than that, I think I should. Walker, what do you think? You played football with me in high school. Do you think I should have gone? I think you're one of the most delusional high school players to come out of Sanderson. I'm going to take that. By the size came later, he doesn't mean he got taller. He means he went from 155 to 170.

More like 165, but whatever. That's the size. You know what you do have, though? It's heart. Yeah, buddy. You can't measure heart. Dude, I worked harder than anybody I fucking was around. If there was a Got Heart trophy, you got it.

If there was a Got Heart league, I would have been in it. If they had an All-St they had like an all-state got heart team you'd been all-state buddy whatever i think i should be in the nfl but that's just me yeah you often say if you were born like three inches taller you'd be in the nfl no if i was born without scoliosis i'd be two inches taller and I'd be in the NFL. Nah. Yeah, I think so. Come on, spot the lie. Spot the lie? Yeah.

What do I not have that NFL players have? I don't know, dude. A lot of things. Name one thing. Dude, you had a lot of recurring injuries through high school. Yeah, due to my scoliosis. In part. No, entirely due to my scoliosis. I don't know. There were a bunch of hip problems. My scoliosis in part no entirely due to my scoliosis i don't know there were there were a bunch of hip

problems my scoliosis did you even start your senior year yeah okay junior and senior just and sophomore jv and i don't know dude i feel like you have to come from like a pedigree of something and like yeah i don't really have the pedigree but i'm i'm an outlier i love that word outlier i read a book called outliers one time and you're definitely you know what i read you're not out you've read a book yeah during the pandemic you what do you have a goal that was one of your three you have a goal that you uh wanted to achieve at one point in your life? Oh, yeah. So many. Where do I start? Good talk.

What age? I would like to hear what eight-year-old. No, that's a little stupid. I'd say 11-year-old Walker. Where was his head? Where was 11-year-old Walker's head at? I thought I would be like big shit. Like, you know, riding my bike every day to my friend's house.

Just like chilling out in the neighborhood, you know? It didn't really happen. house. Just, like, chilling out in the neighborhood, you know? It didn't really happen. I just kind of, like, I chilled around the neighborhood. But, like, I wasn't out, like. I didn't have any friends. Every day, yeah, I only had, like, two or three friends. So, and one of them lived really far away. So, your goal as an 11-year-old was to chill with the homies. I remember I turned 10 and i was like talking to

my sisters i got like two little sisters uh at my birthday and i was like well you know once you turn 10 that's like double digits that's like a big deal so don't expect to be seeing much of me around here and you're like i'm an adult i'm gonna be riding my bike down to tate's house every fucking day i think that was every like kid like when you're a kid it's like like if you would have asked me what i wanted to like like as a kid i would have been like dude like i'd have like athletic trainer or some shit or like sports management or some shit. Or, like, sports management or some shit. Like, what the fuck is that? I for sure thought I was going to be a personal trainer. That's what I thought I was going to be.

I want to know how many kids in high school wanted to be sports managers or, like, whatever the fuck that degree is because it had the word sports in it. That's more of a college thing, dude, I feel like. Well, I mean, like like when you're in high school you're like oh what do you want to go to school for like sports management or like where the fuck lame walker will you hit us with some trivia por favor yeah dude all right so i tried to base it on failed dreams and stuff like that yeah Yeah. That's a rookie move. All right. Who has the lowest graduation rate among North Carolina universities?

Is this a multiple choice question? No. The lowest graduation rate among North Carolina universities. Yeah. Who answers first? Failed dreams and? Yeah. Who answered first? Failed dreams and broken promises. Who won last week? You did? No, AJ did.

He got one question right. AJ has to answer first. Lowest graduation rate in North Carolina. And it's pretty wild. It's probably like High Point University. That's like the worst. The High Point University is like a 95%. That's like, they call it Country Club University.

My guess is... High Point University? I thought that was like terrible environment. Bro, High Point University has like a fountain that's like Vegas in the front. Like, bro, that shit has some money behind it. All right. Well, then like Rocky Mount University or some shit. Okay okay get this a little closer to you four four uh duke duke university has the lowest graduation rate that's another terrible answer dude duke's like above 80 percent

god dang these people are smart probably ecu. I thought they were fake smart. The answer is Shaw University. Right down the street? I was trying not to be like that. Guess what the graduation rate was last year? 49%. 20%. 16%. Holy shit.

How are they in business? And they probably have the highest tuition around this motherfucker. You're telling me a school has 16% graduation rate? Yes. For what, like a year? Based on one Google search that it showed the toppers all on Google. An accredited university only graduates 16% of their students. Yes.

Shaw University, you need to get your damn shit together. Okay. Second question. Tag Shaw University in the comments. So we all know that the divorce rate of first marriages is like 50% in America, right? 40 to 50%. I thought it was like 90.

That's just based on my family, though, I think. What is the divorce rate of second marriages in america oh dude i've seen more third marriages than second marriage than anything in my that doesn't really make any sense but um my guess is 60 percent aj 60 on the double on the on the old mcdouble marriage on the double. On the old McDouble marriage. On the Dooley. Yeah. Usually if that first one didn't work out, you try to get a slick one with a rebound,

and you get the second one. And then the second one usually isn't what you wanted it to be because it was just like, yeah. Drove back in too quick. Suck my dick, bitch. I got me a new bitch. Something like that. I'm assuming it's like it's the rebound marriage yeah it's like yeah fuck you i can do better like that so what do you what's your percent

it's probably low probably like a dub 20 wait wait divorce rate or or 20 they're gonna keep it so about 80 80 divorce rate the answer is 60 60% to 68%. Oh, that's money, baby. On the double. Damn, that's crazy. So the rebound marriage really doesn't work. No. The rebound marriage is even worse than the first marriage. Explains why most of the people in my family have had three marriages.

What percentage of Americans make above $100,000 a year? Above $100,000? What percentage? 5%. make above $100,000 a year? Above $100,000? What percentage? 5%. AJ? AJ? It's probably a little higher than that, actually. 12%.

18%. I knew it was higher than that. I jumped in too fast. All right, my last one. All right, I'm winning right now, baby. You are winning. Let's get it. I have to pull up my phone real quick.

No, it's 1-0. We have gotten... Oh, whoever came closer... Is that how we're playing? We're playing whoever came closer. Damn near. Damn near. How am I supposed to know exact statistics of shaw university i'm gonna

read you a quote and you're gonna have to name who the quote is from okay deal whoever goes is it like a race to whoever answers yes no no i let just let me finish the quote okay do you mind if i take a sip of water real quick? I mean, take your damn time. Dude, he's supposed to be fucking hosting our trivia session, and he's got caught now. Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me when i'm in the limousine she takes off all of

her clothes the limo driver said what is going on and she starts sucking on me the way mr coon's house and i thank her i thank her for making me feel good sir the question was is this your handwriting jesus okay who's the quote from is it like a specific person this isn't like a movie quote no this is a specific person this is a real thing oh this is a like this wasn't from a movie no this is this happened irl irl in a court deposition oh in a court deposition yeah the answer the question was sir is that your handwriting yeah that was the answer that was his answer oh my god um kanye west okay fair answer johnny depp donald sterling he owned the clippers i think that was his. And then he was forced to sell by the league for very just reasons.

Yeah. I feel like we both had very good answers, though. I mean, Kanye would definitely say some shit like that. I can see it. Johnny Depp is just a wild motherfucker, too. I can definitely see it. Yeah. I think Depp would have won there.

Well, I get the trophy this week. We got a trophy on hand? No. All right. Well, cheers, the trophy this week. We got a trophy on hand? No. All right. Well, cheers, boys. Cool. So let's just dive right into the next shit. So hot take, baby.

You guys got a hot take? I got one for you. I got one. If you would like me to go first. I would. Ball's in your court, buddy. My take is hot, but not super hot. I think retirement should be from the ages of 21 to 45.

And then we start working. That's pretty good. What do you think? I think that's a little aggressive, but I think that's pretty good what do you think i think that's a little aggressive but i think that's good i mean 21 to 45 those are your prime years those are the years that you should be out there chasing girls drinking too much try some extracurriculars you know what i mean like when you get old when you're 60 years old like oh great i get to retire and maybe i can still walk at that age you know you never know you could have anything going on at that age but you get all selfish and stuff when you get older but like why work through your prime years like you should be out there

chased freaking smoking grass and eating ass you know what i'm saying so you're saying like if you're clocking in at like 50 like who cares if you got like diabetes or like who cares like you it's just a you have an accommodation for that at work right good like you might die on the job but like at least you lived a good younger life yeah you just you just won't have potential if you're going back to work at that age like if you really had to clock in you probably got no money you're well no that's the whole point you were retired for the first like 20 years of your 25 years of your life yeah you still go to school dollar no hell no you weren't making a dollar you're retired

well if you go to school and then you retire and then you go into the workforce you're just gonna be a complete like no let's just say in a in a nothing in a perfect world in a perfect world it's just postponed somehow some way okay it's like it's just put on pause for 25 years and then you jump back in yeah that sounds great to me you guys in thumbs up or thumbs down that's a i'm like a down because like i mean just all right cool you just want to be old and no just I'm just saying screw the screw the idea of retirement in general just like just figure it out I mean just like do whatever

like you gotta do to figure it out I respect it like why do you have to like put a label on retiring like why I'm saying like humans aren't meant to work bullshit ass jobs with their entire life I'm saying but my life goal is to become a millionaire by the age of 26 have will I fail we shall see within the ass jobs with their entire life. I'm saying, but... Right. My life goal is to become a millionaire by the age of 26.

Will I fail? We shall see within the next six months. No, no. I have it till the end of 26. Oh, you're good. We're good. So I have like a year and a half. You gotta change your verbiage on that a little bit.

Become a millionaire by the age of 26. By the... Age of 26. By the... At the age of 26. At the age of 26. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. It's coming. Alright, my hot take.

I got two. My first one, I don't think trucks should be allowed on the road with normal cars. You've mentioned this before, Walker. We know how passionately you feel about trucks. No, no, no, no, no. Not like those trucks. Oh, not pickup trucks.

Semis. A-team wheelers should not be allowed on the road with pedestrian cars. You're saying there should be a whole different infrastructure for those types of vehicles. That is literally exactly what I had written down. Yes. Like word for word. Today, Walker and I, this is the third occurrence that Walker and I have just been on the exact same wavelength. It's pretty funny. What was the first one?

The first one was, oh, I set myself up for a joke, but you came in and took the exact line that I was going to say. And it was fucking perfect. He nailed it. We're not repeating the joke on joke. It was so fucked up. No, it was good. It was hide and seek. And we're just not talking about what we were hiding or who was seeking. It was AJ.

What's your second hot take? AJ's mom. It was about my mom. My second hot take, I think life is like the worst it's been in 30 years. Your life? Wait. Oh, no. It's bad right now. I was like, oh, you're not 30. That, the worst it's been in 30 years. Your life? Wait. Oh, no. It's bad right now.

I was like, oh, you're not 30. That doesn't make any sense. It's bad. Yeah. I don't think anyone's happy to, like, to be alive right now. Like, at least, like, I, okay, that's a bold statement. But I'm saying, like, the whole, like, collective American people are, I don't think they're fired up about shit right now.

I could agree with that. I think just, like, social social media it's bad dude the constant access to like honestly like having limited access i mean to information at least i don't know just made it less crazy for like everyone everyone's just depressed now and like they can see everything at all times you like you know about everything fucked up that's going on at all times. Yeah, we're not supposed to know about everything, you know. Probably not. I don't want to go off topic, but do you guys know,

Walker, you might know, a dude, his name is Peter Centinella. He does YouTube videos, and he goes all around the world and does videos with people. No. We'll talk about it later, but he just did a video with this dude that lives in, like, Amish, or not amish but like rural kentucky and like he's not amish but he's just completely like lives off the land and this dude is the happiest motherfucker ever and he's not weird or nothing like you would think like someone like that is like like there's usually something

up with them like they're a little sketchy. He don't wear shoes or nothing. But anyways, speaking of that, he don't even know what's going on. Like, someone runs his YouTube channel for him. Dude has a YouTube channel. I've always thought, like, well, not always, but for, like, the last six years when I realized that life just wasn't all that I thought it was, I really have legitimately thought that maybe living, like, off the land in, like, more of a primal type of situation would be more fulfilling, you know? Liver King type shit, bro. Now fuck that, Kyle. Straight up, Liver King, fuck you.

You're a pussy, dude. He's so smart. I saw a person on Reddit describe it like this. It was back in the 40s and 50s. I mean, you know, set aside the racism, I guess, and the sexism and all that stuff, if you can. All the isms. You used to have a man or a person deliver milk to your house, like a half gallon of milk in glass bottles every week. Now, today, cows are fed worse.

They're treated worse. Less people are involved. It comes from stranger places. You have to go to the grocery store and pick it out yourself. It comes in plastic bottles now. You have to check it out yourself. You have to work more hours to pay for that milk. And, you know, that's just what we're living in now that vibe yeah you guys you

guys ready for my hot take oh yeah my this week's hot take for me is minors should not be allowed in the workforce what's up like 18 under the age of 18 yes minor equals under the age of 18 i hate that I have to refresh your memory on that, but that's what a minor Well, I feel like people uh It's like well 14 Alright, don't try to do me like that chill out chill out. I'm saying sexual maturity rates Shut the fuck at my job, dude. I, I might as well be a fucking babysitter. Like, when I – the night crew is predominantly minors.

Bro, I'm talking about if I give them the slightest bit of freedom, they are gone. Where's so-and-so? He's gone. Where's he at? No one knows. I have a list of people who are registered only because that's the only way I can keep an eye on you. That's crazy.

You don't leave that goddamn register unless you're about to shit yourself. Do you think it's just like a this generation of renters? How are people supposed to make money on that age? There needs to be some sort of... They need to get some sort of stipend. I feel like they need to receive... Minors need to receive some sort of income. I don't care.

I don't care if it comes... There needs to be a stimmy check for minors? Yes, bro, because there's no reason... I'm fed up with people doing shit at their job. I don't even care. You can comment about, oh, my taxes. Shut the fuck up. I don't give a fuck.

Take the fucking extra couple dollars out of my check to not deal with minors. I'd be happy to. I understand they need experience. They might need money. Dude, I've had to cash minors checks lately. They're like $200. You mean to tell me that we can't just throw my guy $200 for him not to come to work after school?

Come the fuck on, bro. Because it's hell for people trying to manage these people. It's really only hell on you. You get one good one, bro. You get one good one out of like 10 that actually will just come to work, be a normal human being, communicate well. It really is crazy. As a minor in the workforce, how much you get praised for being good.

Bare minimum. Bare minimum for doing your job, what you're getting paid for to be there. Walker and I have talked about this many times like our our bosses have always been like wow you guys are great it's like we just do our fucking job like like we both work at pizza places in uh high school and um our bosses were like they loved us just because like we actually just did what we were supposed to do we showed up and we worked like you're has got me fucked up. That pizza place was really the downturn of my life.

If we want to talk about failed dreams. So his dream was to work at a pizza place and they let him down. Yeah, they let me down. Yeah, they got me hooked on weed. Like, big time. And like, they were like like every Tuesday we had this morning manager and she was cool but she would like you know take us out and not like hotbox the car and you know I'd never really smoked before so I was getting

like stupid last dude like I couldn't see what I walked back in there trying to make pizza like She was like, just take them out of the oven. You can't do anything else. I just had the glove on. I would just take the hands out and just place them on the table. You look over the gloves on his head. She wouldn't let me cut them. I cut one.

It was way off, dude. Way fucking off. There was this one time, my co-worker used to work these night shifts. We would work 5 p.m. to 4 a.m. And we'd actually be in there until, like, 5 a.m. too. So it was, like, a 12-hour shift. We got, like, one hour off.

We would drive, like, 30 minutes to this dude's house, smoke, like, two blunts, and I would just be blasted dude we'd come right back for 30 minutes all the way back and go right back to work and brothers one time i was i was making like a uh a hawaiian pizza and i got real dizzy and i like stuck my hand down in the pineapple. I woke up. I was covered in pineapple. I passed out. Just on the line. I flipped pineapple all over the place. My manager was standing over me. They picked me up and took me out to my car.

I was just sitting in my car, just dying. They were literally abusing a minor in the workplace. This is terrible. And they brought me out a bottle of water, and I took a sip, and it was like... Heaven on earth. It was like heaven on earth. It brought me back to life, and I came back in,

and I was like, yeah, that was crazy, dude. All right, well... All right, let's clear the screen, I guess. What pizza do I make next? Using the words clear the screen is like so annoying it's fucking clear the screen dude that's some fast food shit but fuck it i got a funny uh comment for you guys um so a little while back we remember aj talking about how he had a headlight out so he just was riding with his high beams at all times. We had mixed opinions on whether he should be doing that or not.

Somebody commented on that video and said, spend $12 and get a new light. The person responded to his own comment and said, if that's too much for you, you literally don't work. You do a podcast, so fuck off.

Dead ass, dude. that is a lit bro i love the he's aj is so rich from this podcast i don't know why you're not fixing your lights you piece of shit all you do is sit around and do this podcast once a week just wait for the pod all day easiest life ever so we can get his 100k a year from what are you doing fix your headlights yeah real piece of shit it is funny though like real quick just to talk about how like the people like when we have a video do slightly well and it gets a lot of random engagement people like when you when you read the comments, they literally... Some people just read people so wrong. It's just crazy. I could only...

I'm trying to think where I'm trying to go with this. When media streams put out media, right? Yeah. And people were on their comments and shit. People's... What the fuck? Perception. their comments and shit like people's oh what's the first perception perception people's perception is just so fucking off like it's so off like people really dead ass think they know what they're talking about and they are so wrong well when you don't which is crazy when you don't get

people like the social cues of physical interaction, they mistake every statement possible. I heard this one thing one time. Imagine the dumbest person you've ever met in your life. Imagine the dumbest person you've ever met. It's a George Carlton line. Yeah, whoever that is. That's average America.

That is the average of the American population. Imagine the dumbest person you've ever met in your life. 50% of people are dumber than that person. So average. Yeah, I guess. That's exactly average. Yeah, but the quote's different. Come on. If you're quoting the goat.

All I'm saying, I don't even know who the goat... I don't even know who I'm quoting. George Carlin. Shout out George Carlin. If you're on your computer... Unless you did bad shit, then I don't fuck with you. I think he's like... He did bad shit.

He was a comedian. Nah, dude. I don't think so. I don't think he's been like me too. If you're at the point where you are commenting on a random ass video, like what you think of that video and you're dead serious, standing 10 toes on your opinion and you're willing to defend that opinion. But like low key,

like we're the person you're commenting on and we know like what it's like or like what, like what we're talking about. If it's really, like if it's legit or not, you're so fucking off. Yeah. These people are so wrong.

What's stuck in your rut, dude? Who cares? I'm saying there's not something to suck in my rut. I'm just saying people suck. Whatever, man. This shit's boring. Who cares? What's your comment?

Yeah, what's your comment, what's your comment dog oh my comment yeah stop stop talking me to death i'm just saying people need to work on their perception bro work on your perception bro when the media streams put out that media bro like shout out shout out to conor dobles his birthday don't put income me my mother would be furious with you right now i don't care at all. Yes, you do. You should. I don't. All right.

Last time my mom yelled at you, you pissed your pants for like 48 years. Shut the fuck up. You're getting off track. Sorry. My comment was in regards to, and we've gotten this comment a lot. Not everyone should have a podcast. We've probably gotten that comment a hundred times. That's your favorite comment we've ever gotten? No,'s your favorite comment no no no it's it's

the thread below it okay the thread below it favorite favorite comment just means it's a thread it's a fucking comment comment potentially thread so not everyone should have a podcast right we've heard that before no worries we probably shouldn't have a podcast but we do because this shit is easily obtainable because we're the shit okay i respond under the always laugh account heard that i i get you i know we're not the most intriguing like yeah we get it he says i met y'all although when you quit jobs that way i assume things like that go over your head because this was under the video about how I quit my job. I just ghosted him and never came back, right?

So he's assuming that we're literally degenerate idiots trying to do a podcast that wouldn't understand that. Which you know. Not everyone should do a podcast that's about us. I get it. And I said, you probably put in your two weeks lol imagine caring enough for an entry-level job right like bro like it's an entry-level job who cares about getting leaving a good who gives a shit i do that's my he says look that's my hot take. He responds. Don't ghost your entry-level jobs, you scumbag.

He responds, imagine being bald. Oh, shit. He's coming for you now. Because now I'm on my personal account trying to get more comments. Right? AJ's boosting the engagement. So I'm boosting engagement. So he comes at me.

He comes at me, imagine being bald. So now I'm personal. Now I'm clicking on your profile, buddy. What do you look like? I see he has a mirror picture, right? I say, LOL. Sorry, officer. He's a fucking correction officer.

Grade A pussy. He's a professional hall monitor. He says, not going to lie, got me there. That's pretty funny. AJ won the battle. Dubs. Comment dubs in the chat right now. Dubs in the chat.

W's in the chat, please. Way to get always laugh at dub. That's what I'm saying. So my comment, it was on the video of AJ talking about a thesaurus. Oh, the old thesaurus Rex? He didn't know what that was or whatever, yeah. Dinosaur verb. Somebody commented and said, he sounds like Mike Tyson saying T-Wex.

Somebody commented that? What platform? I thought that was really funny. What platy? I thought it was on Instagram. Oh, fuck. They go on Instagram, dude. People are funny.

Bro, people are hilarious in the comments. Keep commenting. Whatever you want to say, just say it because I love that shit, good or bad. I want to hear your perspective. Yeah, let me love that shit, good or bad. I want to hear your perspective. Yeah, let me hear that shit. And see how off it is. All right, I got some Q&A for you folks. I bet.

Do body counts actually matter to men? I guess, does a woman's, I'm assuming this question means, does a woman's body count matter to you men yeah walker kind of okay is it his turn or my turn sorry um i i couldn't imagine myself like actually asking that question anymore right um but no i don't really think about it i said yeah just like off like the immediate answer but once i took two seconds i thought about it when we were younger yes because like everyone like no she's been around again everyone knows her but like when you're when you're an adult like

i don't think you even because you're no longer are in a circle. Yeah, you just stopped marrying. You're no longer in a... You're no longer in a... Yeah. Back when you were 18, you're like, oh, whatever. How many have you been with? Because your circle's small. You're access to... That's what I would go for.

I was like, oh, this girl's awesome. All right. This is a multi-step question. So when you're older, it doesn't matter, I don't think. Yeah. Who cares? It is what it is. How do men value their own?

It doesn't matter, ladies. Get out there and do what you do, baby. Put that thing out there. How do men value their own? Walker, how do you value your body count? What does that mean how do you i guess um do you put uh any thought or uh value into it like no honestly i'm ashamed so you do put value into it no you're bad value so there's value no yes for me personally I don't think anyone else should be ashamed. You're ashamed of what? How low or how high it is?

I'm ashamed it's more than one. I was really hoping I could just find the one and that would be it. Well, you're a slut. AJ, what about you? Any value in it? In my history, I'm glad that I think everyone should experience more than one because, like, I look back and look at the people who, like, who had one boyfriend, ended up being with him for 10 years,

got married, and they've only been with this one person for as long as you've known them. They've only been with one person. Like, they've never even experienced, like, what they potentially, like, could have. I agree. I feel like you do need to. You got to experience more than one for sure just because, like, you can't live your whole life thinking, like,

dang, should I have done more or what is anything else like. Not that sex is everything, but just, like, it's important. I mean, like. Before you know it, you're going to be, like, out of that little realm, and you're going to have to have to like go out into the real world and if you're just with that one person for 10 years and then something goes wrong like you have no experience fairy tale so if any what why do you think there is disparity between men and women and i don't really know what that word means but i'm assuming it's just like why are women judged more heavily on their body count than men

that's the way i interpret that aj let's hear what your thoughts are i think it's i mean i feel like the answer is pretty obvious and we can move on from this pretty quick men are just you know shittier men just it's just wait wait the the question is why are women judge more for their body count yeah it says why is there just disparity between this is a generational culture curse or not curse but just like stigma on the whole like women if she's had sex with more than five people, she's a slut. Well, dude, it's crazy. The most sexist person you'll ever meet is an old woman. My grandma. Peace and blessings, baby.

I love you. She's still kicking. 95. We just celebrated her birthday. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I love her to death. But she is very sexist.

We were talking about the NFL one time, and she was like, I love the NFL. But, God, I wish those woman reporters would just get off the field. They don't need to be on camera. Who are you trying to impress? I was like, Jesus christ like jesus granny it's like women are judged because like men horrifically judge women but women also horrifically judge women like men at least have the support of other men women like get turned on very easily you gotta think though get turned a lot of men a lot of men do shit for other men

y'all hear me the fuck is that a lot of men do specific shit for other men like like what like are we having a conversation for a second no probably not so continue i was just saying like a lot of like a lot of things. Like, okay, say you get a cool pair of shoes. Yeah. In my opinion, you ain't buying them to get that girl to say, oh, my God, I like your shoes. No, you're like, yeah.

I want my boys to be like, fire kicks. Yeah, hell yeah. Like, you're buying it for your bros. It's crazy. If you work in the gym for a while, if you work in, like, you know, the gym for a while if you work in like you know the gym for a while the only compliments you get are from other guys in the gym for sure women don't care about that no they don't give a fuck girls wearing makeup i get where you're i get where you're coming from and i and i feel way better i feel way better when a guy gives me a compliment

in the gym than a girl like if a guy comes up and is like bro like your fucking biceps are insane like fucking keep it up i compliment guys all the time i love compliments from uh polyamorous people i also compliment old ladies all the time just to get them to smile you like comments from people that are in multiple relationships at the same time yes Yes. That's good. Yeah. There's a specific type of person. Let me read this other Q&A question I have. Who inspires... Oh, shit. Oh, yeah.

It's easy. Who inspires you the most towards your life goals and who inspires you the most to not fail your life goals? So pretty much like who's an inspiration? Yeah, who's your biggest inspiration to set your goals and achieve them damn things? Honest answers. Who inspires me? My mom inspires me just because it feels the best when I get –

I'm like an attention whore kind of – when I get the praise from my mother that I've, fuck off. When I get the praise from my mother that I've done something good, I've like achieved a goal, like nothing feels better than my mom telling me, like Austin, like one thing that I like about you is that you set your goals and you handle business, blah, blah, blah. Best feeling in the world. So I guess my mom is who I would say.

Can I take a quick aside on that? It's, uh, when people, like, compliment me or compliment, like, my work, it just makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't, like, motivate me at all. When people call me out and, like, shit, like, that's when I make changes for the better. It's, like, praise does nothing make changes for the better it's like praise does nothing but make me uncomfortable it's kind of weird i don't know i can see that there's a deeper thing behind that i would say as a as a licensed therapist in the north in the state of

north carolina i would say there's something behind that you passed that test yeah buddy dude let's go yeah big shit over here edger what about you Who inspires you the most to set and achieve those goals? I think this is all, you know, it's a pretty deep question, right? You know, it's always going to come down to, like, our roots. Like, what's grounding you, you know, and what, you know, like, your backbone, right? Right. It's definitely Kenzie, for sure. She gets you to get down and dirty and handle business?

Yeah. And my dog. Like, I want to provide for my dog, too. And my cat. And my gecko. I got that same lizard, bro, in real life. Ain't that fire? That is fire.

You ain't fuck with it heavy. But, yeah, definitely my family at home. even though i did fuck off for two years recently you were living life you were retired at a young age there's nothing wrong with that hot take i retired for two years in my 20s dude i've been retired since the day i graduated now i'm back in the workforce with a limp everything dude i'm fucking down bad i'm old limp it workforce with a limp, everything. Dude, I'm fucking down bad. It's a pimp limp. It ain't a real limp. You got a pimp limp.

I tricked off for two years. If you look at the displays, you would think that they would each represent us. But I just want the Rutgers to show that the turtle is me. I don't think anybody's overthinking. Who's the lion? I don't know. All right, all right. Don't say anything more.

We all know the turtle. Well, we already know everything now. AJ already said I have the exact whatever. He looks like my lizard, bro. Yeah, the turtle is Walker, and Walker is unhappy with me, and I kind of ignored his comments on it. Yeah, you completely steamrolled through them. Oh, 100%.

You were like, would you know how that looks? I'm like, literally no. You set them up and sent a picture and they haven't moved. Walker wants the turtle above his head because it's his, which makes sense. But he went and fucking bought a white background. You guys

bought black. You should have told AJ to buy white. You were the last one to buy yours, dickhead. I tried to get you to do it that night, and you wouldn't do it. I begged you. I would have bought the exact same display. Hey, no one wants to hear you all argue about your dumbass displays. Facts.

Let's talk about next week's theme. We're working through important stuff here. Walker, I almost bought the turtle. That's cats. That's sick. Turtle is fire. Yeah, sorry it's not in the right place. You should have saw what I sent before the turtle. That's sick. Turtle is fire. Yeah, sorry it's not in the right location. You should have saw what I sent before the gecko.

Yeah, I showed him. It was ass. It was trash. The duck with the AK. Oh, the duck. I don't know. Duck with the AK sounds cool. You didn't send that one.

All right. Anyway. That was personal. So I think we're ready to about wrap it up, but we need to talk about next week's theme. Well, I didn't get to go. Go for what? It was a Q&A.

Oh, did you have an answer? Do you know what the question was? No, but I know I didn't go. It's too bad. Let him go. No, fuck that. No, no, fuck that. He needs to pay attention.

He's part of this pod, too. I did pay attention, but we did a whole different aside. What's the question? Three drinks in. I don't know, dude. The question was like two minutes ago. It's so long ago, okay? Come on, man. It's like 20 minutes ago.

Who inspires you for your life goals and pushes you to achieve them? The one who inspires me the most from failure is disappointing my father because I'm one of those kids who has a complex. The most who inspires me towards my goals is

I don't know. Yeah, I regret. Yeah, yeah, Hitchcock. What is that? No idea. Hitch. The character Hitch. Will Smith and Hitch inspires me. Dude, that's a fine answer. AJ, let it go. No, this is from one of our viewers. Will Smith and Hitch inspires me. Dude, that's a fine answer. AJ, let it go. No, this is from one of our viewers. Will Smith from Hitch.

Okay. Actually, to be honest, I want to be Ted Lasso from season one of Ted Lasso. That's who I want to be. Rocket League inspires you. You guys, you guys, you guys. Ted Lasso from season one. Can you guys shut the fuck up? Your Xbox Live subscription.

Come on, man. Can you guys both shut? Be nice. Can you guys both shut the hell up? No curse words. Come on. We're trying to clean it. Can you guys both shut the fuck up your Xbox Live subscription come on man can you guys both shut be nice can you guys both shut the hell up no curse words come on can you guys both shut the heck up yeah there we go

as long as Pelagic's still pumping out IPAs we're straight that's what inspires Big Walk fuck yeah Sours bitch

oh yeah that's what I meant oh Sours dum dum Sours whiskey so Sours boo boo head boo boo head AJ fuck off.

Alright, next week's theme. My strange addiction. What's it? Sorry, I just weirded out for a second. My strange addiction. You had a little ticky-poo. Yeah, I had a little tick. We're gonna...

Don't make fun. Yeah, yeah. I had a little tick. We're going to. We're going to. Don't make fun of that, AJ. No, that was me weirding out. That wasn't you weirding out. It was you intentionally ticking. Jesus. All right. So my strange addiction, that's next week's theme.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're wrapping this shit up. We're going off the rails. Thanks for watching another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast. My name's Austin Lane. I'm AJ. I'm AJ. I'm Walker. We out. Love you, everyone.