Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #41 - My Strange Addiction

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

This episode we talk about all of the strange things that we are addicted to that we would never want anyone to know about. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name's austin lane my name's aj i'm walker i'm just myth misanthropic now misanthropic fuck the gender distinctions uh so what's up guys hi what's up dude what's up we're back i want a special announcement kenzie's in the house we got the while you weren't in room, she specifically asked to not be announced. Our executive producer is back, though. Welcome back, Kenzie. We can cut that if our executive producer is like, I'm sorry, Kenzie. How are you doing?

Doing freaking fantastic. So this week's theme, my strange addiction. I'm really interested to see what you weirdos have to say because i know you guys have some weird shit i have some i have my i have my notes laying out on the table and i really hope you guys don't read them because i got some weird shit written yeah we gotta like honor rule it yeah see my strategy is i just have handwriting that's so trash nobody can read it nobody can copy you yeah walker you have the handwriting of a doctor but you're not nearly smart enough to be a doctor oh yeah no no so like i have no excuse like the whole like you know oh sloppy handwriting is like more intelligence it's like

you're like you purposely have sloppy handwriting to make yourself seem more intelligent like they see it and they're like this kid is a genius, they see it, and they're like, this kid is a genius. And then they read it, and they're like, oh, no, no. It looks exactly how it is. We can see through your bullshit. Yeah. Everything I write at work, I have one lady. It gets decoded.

No, one lady rewrites it. Like, I'll write out some shit, and then she'll rewrite it and throw mine away. Oh, dude, like, you have to, like, write a note for someone? Is that what you mean? No, I'll to, like, write a note for someone? Is that what you mean? No, I'll just, like, I'll write some stuff down, and then all of a sudden I'll see her over there writing the same stuff down, and I'm like, what you doing? She's like, I'm just rewriting it for you.

Damn. That's hilarious. Thank you, because it does look a hell of a lot better. Spell check on Outlook is the only reason I still have a job. Dude, spell check on anything is the only reason I have an ounce of respect left in this universe. Bro, I am the worst speller of all time you might be like dude but it's terrible we should uh we should do a little experiment where we turn off our uh our auto correct on our phones and just like have like full conversations through text we should do a

spelling bee on the podcast oh yeah i'd win aj's not a bad speller compared to me at least i've been in the ranks i know every kid was in like the spelling bee as i think i was up there i think podium podium podium i was like dead last i think so for my strange addictions i wrote down a bunch of weird stuff i really just went down this rabbit hole, and they all have to do with smelling things. Austin does have a big smell thing. Which is weird. I think I just have such a big nose that it's like my most fun sense. That's how it works, yes.

Yeah. I like to smell things so I can get to know them. Don't read my shit, AJ. I just glanced at the first one. I don't read my shit aj i just just don't i just glance at the first one i don't think so i just glanced at the first one and it made me shake my head you read that go ahead here dick we were honor ruling it all right all right i'm just gonna jump in god damn it go ahead i really gotta say this because mine's nowhere near that bad no you don't okay say it all right all right ah fuck we're gonna get demonetized for that i don't care i didn't even point it right

so in canada you would be uh executed right now after a long after any day after any day of my life i all like god damn it i always uh take my socks off and smell them just to see what type of day i had like i gotta see i gotta see like what type of bad i'm dealing with you know what i mean like and i mostly don't fucking look at me like that like what i'm sorry i need to put on the you need to see if you need to shower or not. No, it's more like... It's your little special treat. Like, did I ruin another pair of shoes? It's your little special treat for making it through another day. Did I ruin another pair of shoes today?

Like, bro, I swear I could put on fresh socks and a fresh pair of shoes, and they're not going to smell good by the end of the first day. No, no, I bet not. What do you mean you bet not? What do you mean? Do you think socks, like... What are you, like, your feet just smell good all the time? Walker literally knows whatever the chemicals and shit and why it makes...

He told me he got on my ass. I said, bro, you don't want to smell my shoes after a fucking shift. Yeah, AJ takes his shoes off and it smells like candy. And it's like, bro, you got some problems. It smells like candy, Walker? It sounds like you have a strange addiction. No, no, no, no. Freak out.

When I say candy, there's a sweet tinge to it. And if we really want to dive in, but I don't want to. Okay. Yeah. But, dude, I just kind of divulged a little information that made me very uncomfortable to speak about. So if you guys could just be a little bit supportive. All right.

I'll support you by divulging something I'm insecure about. Okay. So a snack that I really like is I'll take saltine crackers and room temperature butter and I'll like take a saltine cracker and spread like a thin layer of butter on it and make like a butter sandwich with saltine crackers it's so fucking good I can't stop I feel like that's not that I mean not to shit on your disorder, but. Dude, I'm smelling socks after a long day. I got a fucking problem, okay?

Yeah. You're eating a butter cracker. Like, that sounds delightful. Nobody wants to do what I've done. See, I wouldn't expect that reaction. When I've told most people, or like the two people I've ever admitted this to, that I put butter on saltines, they just like look at me with such horror. Like, how could you ever like butter and a delicious salty cracker?

Right? It's like I'm just skipping the fucking middle, man, man. Let's cut the shit. What are you laughing at, AJ? Dude, because what I had cooking up in my head about my strange addiction went nowhere near what you said. Close to what you said. I just had a couple things that came to mind when it comes to, like,

stuff I get weird about. Like, when it comes to, like, a lot of it comes with food. Like, I definitely obsess over food. So a lot of it comes there like aj goes 45 minutes without a meal and it's all you can think about i definitely obsess over food but um it wasn't nothing crazy like austin's but uh one of my things is me your shit wasn't something psychotic sniffing Dude, just to see how my day was. Did I have a good day?

See, that's the most psychotic part of it. Like your feet smell worse on a bad day. No, worse on a good day. If my feet smell good, that means I was not productive. I mean, like, does that not make sense? I guess. That's such a bad reward structure. My strange addiction is more like adding every additive I possibly can to my McFlurry before I check out a McDonald's.

Like everything they allow me to add to it, I'm adding. So you're not getting like an Oreo McFlurry, you're getting everything McFlurry. I'm getting Oreo, M&M, peanut butter crunch, fucking... That's too much, bro. The other one. There's like four additives I add to it. So that's your strange addiction. Yeah, there's a couple that I was thinking of.

There's that. Another one going back to McDonald's is when I order McDonald's, I immediately peel the bag down the middle and use that as my plate. And Austin saw this many times. I instantly just bust the McDonald's bag down the middle and just use it as my plate. And Austin saw this many times. I instantly just bust the McDonald's bag down the middle and just use it as a plate. So that isn't nearly as weird as you think it is. I guarantee how many people are getting their McDonald's.

I bust Char-Grill bags down like that, bro. I'm saying normal people, I feel like, would just grab the cheeseburger out the bag lay it out and eat it i'm instantly ripping it down the middle pouring the fries on the thing so you you you go for it in some like animalistic like rage yeah he's not addicted to bus i need to bag open i need to get this in my stomach before someone steals it that's cool cool. You would think he had a lot of siblings growing up or something. He's fighting for every last french fry he can get because there wasn't enough food on the table or something.

No, it was just him. A well-fed boy. I learned it from my dad being incarcerated. That motherfucker eats like someone's literally about to steal his shit. He got his arm up like this. He's over here eating. I've got another one. I am addicted to lotioning my body.

And, you know, it's kind of, it was a joke for a while, but I have like lotion in my office now that like every time I wash my hands or like, you know, I want to take a break. I'll just like lotion my arms or some shit. Like what is your goal? I can't go to bed without lotioning. I just feel like a dry little, I don't know, desert. A little desert. I got one more.

What's my goal? I got one more. I got one more. What's my goal? I got one more. I got one more. And this one I wasn't going to say because I've said it before on other pods, but I have a weird, sick addiction with complimenting people and not standing behind the compliment just to get them to smile. Like, Austin, man, I really like your hoodie. And then as I'm walking away, I'm like, bro, I could give a fuck about his hoodie. But he smiled and was like, hell yeah, bro. Like like the fact that you have to take it back in private it's

just like shut up dude but like i compliment shit i compliment shit like way out of my realm of complimenting like i was gassing this old lady up at work today because she got a new wig the wig didn't look good it did not look good but i But I'm like, okay, like, what you trying to do? Find a man today? Like, I see you out here. Like, she literally said that just made my day. And then she turned around and you were like, that lace front was so fucked up. I could see your fucking tracks from here. I'm like, bro, why did they tell this white lady to go to the cultural wig place?

You know what I'm saying? They literally, I'm saying? Like they literally, I'm like, why did they tell her to do that? Like she had the, it looked good. She had the press, the fresh press.

I don't know what it was. It's not my area to speak on, but I don't know. It just didn't look like, it didn't look like. So you're addicted. Are you addicted to lying, tricking people?

Or are you addicted to making people feel good? Yeah. Like, are you addicted to tricking people? Or are you addicted to making people feel good? Yeah. Like, are you addicted to, like, making someone smile? Or are you addicted to walking away and be like, I didn't mean that shit? I have this really strange addiction. The smile, for sure. I love feeding, like, homeless and needy people. I don't know.

It's a really weird addiction I have, you know, doing a good thing. And then I walk away and say, I didn't mean that. Yeah. Give me that food back, you fat fuck. Nah, dude, you can't take it. Like, they don't know, but I'm, like, it's not like I'm, like. Why do you have such, like, hatred in your heart to where you even have to do that? Like, I appreciate you.

There's no hatred. It's just me being annoying. It's like you immediately canceling out any good karma you could have gotten. But, like, yeah, okay. But, like, in my head, I'm like, bro, I'm annoying as fuck. Like, why are you saying this to this lady? What happened in your life to where being nice is annoying? There's nothing that happened.

I'm just saying, like, I go over the top with it, though. I do go over the top. Like, I guess. I guess. Like, me saying, are you trying to find a man? Like, would you try and get a man today? That's over the top with it though i do go over the top like i guess i guess like me saying are you trying to find a man like would you try and get a man today that's over the top yeah but that's just like your personality that's like what makes you funny but in my head in my head i'm like i'm a fucking idiot dude the first six months of our relationship you said you're the man probably like twice an hour

i got that from big dan dan and lansing shout out dan he was on drugs i like um i like smelling i like i don't like smelling gasoline i like the smell of gasoline i like the smell of burning wood and i like the smell of a freshly lit cigarette i don't like smoking cigarettes unless i'm drunk cigarettes is pretty weird the first not not not the smell of cigarettes the smell of cigarettes is disgusting but that when it's first lit up that first little still got a butane tinge to it no it's just got like that fresh fucking tobacco smell and it wasn't it was before I ever even tried nicotine. Just that first smell of a cigarette being lit is delicious.

I like the good first sip of Mountain Dew. Walker, you got some trivia. Let's move on. Move on. Who cares about Mountain Dew? All right, welcome back to the trivia show. I don't know who won last week. Who won last week?

You. So we're... AJ won the first week. Austin won the second week. No trophy for either. Yeah. We're still working on a trophy. Still working on that.

All right, first question. What percentage of Americans admit to regularly eating their pet's food or treats? They admit to it? What the hell? Well, have you guys ever eaten pet food? Hell yeah. Have you ever eaten pet food? Hard no. Never ever have I even chewed a fucking bite of anything.

Someone's never been fucking eight years old feeding the cats and been like, bro, this shit looks heat. Walker's in there eating the wet food by the spoonful. It's so good dogs eat the shit. No, bro, bro, only dry food. Only the dry food. If you're eating wet animal food, you're a sick thing. Walker's slurping up the little moist bits at the end. No, I don't eat the wet food.

I just lick the juice out that comes after the wet food. That's what I'm into. You're disgusting. So what percentage? 7%. AJ? I'm going to go high with 27. It's 8%.

Oh, come on. Nice, Austin. Do I get a point for that? Sure. Thank you. It's like%. Oh, come on. Nice, Austin. Do I get a point for that? Sure. No, you're off. It's like whose line is it anyway? The points don't matter and everything's made up. How many seasons of My Strange Addiction appeared on TLC?

I'm going with a solid nine. Nine seasons. 35. Nine seasons. 35. Jesus Christ. It's not General Hospital, man. It's not Days of Our Lives. It was six, and I've seen every episode. Really?

I love that fucking show, dude. The woman who eats her mattress. That was wild. She eats her parents' mattress and they're like, what do you even say? There's only six episodes? No, six seasons. Oh, fuck.

Your answer makes a lot more sense now. Damn it. Pay attention. Silly. What percentage of Americans are estimated to have stolen in their life? Like shoplifted. Estimated?

Everyone. Probably like 89%. 68. I would have answered around that range, but it's 10 to 11%. That's it? That's it. So you're telling me I'm just a complete piece of shit? Yes.

For having stolen before? Multiple times. Once. Just once, right? No, I've stolen multiple times. Yeah, okay. How many people a year are killed on average base jumping? How many people?

Probably about 15 to 16. AJ? 250. It's 15 to 20. That's another point for me. And that's all we got, folks. AJ got absolutely blown out. In the whole world got absolutely blown out in the whole world how many people do you know that base jump fuck zero there's a community that one guy that

we went skydiving single person who's ever based on that one guy that one guy we went skydiving one tandem guy yeah i'm thinking jumping off a cliff this guy used to get drunk in germany was he the cute one yeah and he used to base jump off the top of buildings drunk. Hmm. He made it, though. That sounds so scary. I said 250 on the letters. How many people in this world?

Probably about 350 overall. At least, yeah. 350 what? 100,000. 350 billion? Yeah. About 350 billion. About 350 billion.

I don't know, 7 or 8 billion seven or eight billion some what we got next we got what we got hey let's go back give me give us another addiction guys because i don't know i just feel like this is just right for uh for juicy some Yeah, for some juicy. I'm not saying shit because you guys gave me some, oh, I eat butter on saltines and I like McDonald's. I'm over here smelling socks at night. I'm not doing that. You guys can fuck off. I'm not doing that. I don't know if there's, can I, so like these aren't really addictions, but Austin has some pretty strange tics that he does. Okay.

You just get to call me. All right, bet. Let's do it. Call me up. Do you want to go down this path? Yeah, let's go down this path, Walker. We can go there. All right.

Let's talk about your tics. Every time I go to the sink to fill up my water bottle, the sprayer is not on the single spray. It's on the multi-spray. Drives me fucking nuts but i'm just like i just go up and like click the button now immediately because i just know it's gonna be like on that dude my mom called me out my mom used to get pissed about that my entire childhood it the reason that i do it is just because like what do i need it on the little one for what do i need

it on that and i'm i spray off all my dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. So, like. I get it, man. Who fucking cares? He always closes the lid on the trash can. And we've talked about this before. Walker's like, I want it left open so I don't have to touch it every time I throw something away. Which is a fair point.

You don't want to get nasty stuff on your hands or, like, your hands near the trash. But I don't want it to smell like shit in the house and sometimes there's some raunchy ass shit in that trash can that's that's true how dirty is your can but yeah these aren't really addictions all right i'm done with this he's just calling me out for things he doesn't like that i do in the house no keep going no keep going Not necessarily. He doesn't like small things. Fuck the aviation. He doesn't like when there are lights in his periphery. Like if he's sitting on the couch, usually like the porch

light and this light has to be off. Yeah. I don't like lights or I don't like them up here, over here, over here. I'm good with backlighting. Backlighting straight or straight on. We got lights on our face and I'm cool with that. That. Backlighting straight or straight on. We got lights on our face, and I'm cool with that. That's strange, dude.

Yeah. What the fuck do I do? I don't fucking know. Oh, you've got so much shit, dude. Besides when it comes to my clothes and shit, I freak out about. Walker will sit on the couch. He'll sit anywhere. He'll stand anywhere he'll be in any location at any given time and he will rip up whatever's in his hand he'll rip up a coaster

he'll rip up a napkin he'll rip up a cup whatever the fuck if it's rippable it's getting shredded and the remnants are just sitting there and i'm like you motherfucker if you don't get rid of those remnants i'm gonna lose my shit dude i know bartenders fucking hate me yeah bartenders and austin so you're a big rip the napkin up type of guy oh yeah oh dude go walk in our living room right now there's a shredded uh starbucks cup sitting on the stool just waiting for me to clean it up no you're not gonna clean it up yeah this time i'll do it this once appreciate that um aj has this weird thing where he wears a hat every day for some reason i don't know why he's got an addiction to wearing hats that's that's i have an addiction to fucking looking my best all the time like i cannot step out of the house if i don't feel right like if i don't

feel up to par i'm not leaving the house it's fair aj and kenzie are addicted to uh trying to overdose melatonin and go to bed at 8 o'clock at night. I heard they recently cut back. We don't even do that. It's a cool addiction. We don't do that. They mainline melatonin. Kenzie. Kenzie mainline melatonin.

They heat it up in the spoon. They're shooting up tonic. You saw the spoon by my bedside. It's crazy. Yeah, Kenzie's off the sauce now. Kenzie is. We go to bed voluntarily at 830. You guys are sick in the head.

No melatonin needed, bud. So this turned from my strange addiction to let's call each other out for. Fuck yeah. Yeah, let's get back to addictions. So we should have went with in the first place. So this is my hot take. Addiction is not a bad thing. You know

I don't think so I would go so far to say that Addiction is a good thing The things that you're addicted to are bad The things that most people Are addicted to are bad Okay I disagree

Please I think you know the whole everything in moderation thing that's that's the path to true happiness doing anything too much will destroy whatever you know part that like i remember reading this story this dude in england would drink this one cider every day and he ended up getting this super rare cancer because the cider had like you know a trace amount of some chemical which didn't matter if you drank it like once a week but he drank it every day and it killed him well agree to disagree like i squat every time i go to the gym and it's gonna blow your knees your knee replacements by 35. And that's fine. I've accepted that.

I just think addiction aligns with dedication, if you will. Addiction and dedication go hand in hand. If you get addicted to the right things, it can be, I don't have a good word, insanely beneficial to your life. Like if you got addicted to working out or addicted to, I have no good examples. Yeah, that's just like not how addiction works. Like who the fuck gets addicted to learning or like studying? What do you mean if you like out of those no you the only thing you get addicted to is something that like alters your like

consciousness or like releases dopamine or something like that's why some people can get addicted to working out because it does make you feel good right but like people that are addicted to working out look like freaks freaks it's fair you gotta get addicted you gotta have a good relationship with that gym i'm just saying addiction is a good thing i'm addicted to having anorexia well yeah well walker would you like to talk about that no well we can yeah sure okay i don't not not want to talk about do you have anorexia hell yeah legitimately yes and do you think this negatively or positively impacts your life definitely negatively do you think i can lose a lot of weight quickly okay so do you think it's something that you'd want to work on, or is it something that you're just...

Yeah, in like 40 pounds, I'll probably start working on it. Something like that. Okay. So I'm getting a little uncomfy because I don't know how to speak about these types of things. Dude, with reckless abandon. I don't know. I think I got something similar to Walker's anorexia.

Yeah, AJ's addicted to... I have an eating disorder like mcdonald's cheeseburgers like i i haven't i have an eating disorder i've already i've already come to terms yes come to terms with myself i've said it out loud the other day i said damn i really do i think i have an eating disorder on like the opposite way and what you're thinking like when you think eating disorder you think of like someone who like goes and throws up after they eat and shit no i'm eating till i feel like i'm about to throw up like to literally today we got this shitty ass meal and i was like i'm fucking i'm ready to buy i literally bought everything just so we could leave and go to the next restaurant to fulfill me because i'm like this shit is terrible i don't care how much it costs i'm pissed off i don't want to argue with nobody.

I'll just pay for it and move on. Let's go to the taco restaurant two stores down. AJ got heated at a restaurant today. He's like, this food's trash. He's like, I'm going to pay. He walked inside and handed the server his card. He was like, we're out of here. The food had been on our table for like four minutes.

Literally. We went to the old shuck and shack to get tacos but i didn't why because they have good they do have good shrimp tacos but seafood tacos for only for three dollars but apparently that's only on tuesdays and those tacos are not worth seven dollars a piece they're worth three not seven but food restaurant prices chain prices are just like absurd now. They're smoking dick.

$7 for a fucking... When's the last time y'all went into like a cheesecake factory? Bro, our bill is $40-something dollars for three appetizers and two beers.

Dude, there's not like a single entree like less than $30 at the cheesecake factory. Yeah, you know, inflation's got us this time. Well, once Drake said the whole cheesecake bar price went up, buddy. Yeah know inflation's got us once once drake said the whole cheesecake bar

price went up buddy yeah drake's got that taylor swift type hole i mean yeah kind of dude i saw something on snapchat and it was uh what what taylor and travis's body language says about how their date went and it was like a picture of them this is mental illness right like no have you seen the one that said uh i dude i've gone from like hating taylor swift to like feeling bad for like leave this woman alone no listen to this shit the latest one i saw was uh travis told taylor security that it was okay for them to step out. I got this. Shut the fuck up, bitch.

Don't no one give a frick about it. Dude, in the NFL games, they were, like, cutting to her after, like, a big catch or something. Every, bro, every headline is Taylor Swift's coming to the next game. She bought a suite for the whole year. Bro, she's making the Chiefs so much money. Bro. Yeah, it's just. My hot take is Taylor Swift is fucking mid.

That's not a hot take. It is. She's mid as fuck. I mean, it's a hot take to some people. If you ask anyone that's not like a white woman between the ages of 16 to like 38. She's mid and looks like a chicken carcass. Damn. Taylor Swift is just like, she's like Thanksgiving dinner.

She looks like a rotisserie, dog. Oh, no. She's nice looking. How does she look like a rotisserie? She's fine. She's built like a rotisserie. You're being absurd. She's like worth like 500 million.

At least. She's going to be worth a billion like next year. I'm over here worth about 260 thou wow. Negatively. The fucking Fed chair came out and said Taylor Swift was part of the reason like the American economy was resurging like Janet Yellen said that who I freaking shout out Janet Yellen no fuck that bitch don't know who that is at all that woman um now Taylor Swift's like Thanksgiving dinner you know it's all pretty mid but it's just like comforting and that's how her music is for a lot of people you know it's all

just like nothing you know I'm having a lot of people you know it's all just like nothing you know i'm having a lot of mixed emotions on this because thanksgiving dinner is my favorite of the year and taylor swift is not but she did drop that one song that really just did it for me dude nothing aj get off your fucking no dude i got i'm about to show you all this comment that we need nothing like in. Nothing like in Thanksgiving dinner is really all that good, though. Shut up. Turkey is below mid. Let's just get that out in the open.

It's all about the sides, buddy. For sure. Yeah, but like who cares? Dude, it's about to be turkey season. I'm excited. I'm not talking about hunting. I'm talking about eating turkey. Dude, I do love you some Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, I think. Yeah. I would say so. Walker, are you going to be done being anorexic by then? Yeah, I'll probably have had a couple binge cycles by the time Thanksgiving rolls around. Perfect. Just make sure you throw up the day before or some shit. That's not how anorexia works.

That was insensitive, AJ. I'm not committed enough for bulimia. If you're bulimic, you're a real-ass person. You're committed. Jesus Christ. I'm too much of a puss for bulimia. Dude. Put that on my gravestone.

Voluntarily throwing up is crazy. Can we talk about that just for two seconds? Like, okay, when you're drunk and shit and you throw up. No, we can't talk about it. My hot take is that America should have stuck with the alcohol prohibition of the 1930s. And there's not a single positive effect of alcohol in society. Bullshit. Name one.

It makes me happy. You fucking piece of shit. You take that back. No. Why would you say something like that? Because it's true. Really? Yeah.

Nothing positive? Nothing positive. Interesting. Beer increases the amount of estrogen men produce. Alcohol ruins interpersonal relationships. It crumbles societies. It's the cause of so so much like sexual assault and fights between people and stuff like that like there's really no benefit to it it's just like a

it's a addiction that we've all like grown accustomed to like caffeine like it closes a social gap like pop yeah it closes the social gap by turning off the receptors in your brain that say oh you're doing something wrong. No, it turns off receptors that make you overthink things that feel wrong, but are right. And I'm talking about like, Oh, is this person like worried about the way that I look or the way that I'm talking? You just go in there and smile and fricking talk, you know? Yeah. So, so my argument, so your argument is alcohol is good because it is a social lubricant.

Yeah. No, no. All right. I don't, I, dude. There he goes. I don't like this. I don't like it. Go on. This is my, this is I don't like it. Go on.

This is my not strange addiction. Dance with me. This is my very unstrange addiction. I like drinking because it's awesome. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. So I can agree that it's bad. I mean, it's all bad.

I don't think the prohibition should have stuck around That was a lame time period In American history Dude why? The whole like speakeasies that was sick as fuck Bootleggers just The old Dukes of Hazzard vibe Where they'd have like the shelves that would like Rotate backwards and slide all the alcohol

In like a secret compartment That's pretty sick What the fuck books were you reading? I remember that on Mythbusters, baby. That shit was so cool. I've been wondering how y'all know this. All right, my comment this year is... This year.

My comment, yeah, this year, is this is about AJ talking about a millionaire mindset. And he said, Hey, man, having all your teeth is pretty millionaire-ish. What? I thought that was pretty good. I said that? Yeah.

Where? I don't know. Perfect. All right. On to my comment. Someone said this is on, it don't matter which one it is because it probably applies to all of them. Someone said this is the corniest thing I've ever seen right which it's supposed to be saw we're not going to talk about that but he said seen and i responded it's supposed to be seen or it's absolutely supposed

to be seen i've ever saw it's seen it's past tense oh i didn't know that applied i didn't know that i don't think aj knows of past tenses i responded and said the corniest the corniest thing is you taking time to comment on some shit that's corny that's the corniest thing like you you're saying this is corny so why are you commenting on corny shit corny boy dude i think. I think you really doubled down on our corniness. And then it went on to say no, what's corny is you taking time to film this

unoriginal podcast. So, hold on. It gets funnier. Was this one of the comments that really hurt? More funny. No, this is just hilarious. Someone else said, LMAO, respect lost for y'all. Haha.

Responding to a toxic comment as a creator is not the way to handle it. Little does he know I'm just trying to boost engagement. I don't care. AJ waits like three minutes in between comments, so they'll click off the video and then have to click back on. Yeah. It's like, I can't go right away.

You got to get them coming back. But yeah, dude, everyone says we're corny. I didn't think we're corny. I understand. I get it. I am corny.

We get it. Yeah. That's kind of like, he's not corny. Like, come on. Like, I'm pretty cool. You think fr Impulsive Fucking Mike

Mayjack And Corman Bites a square Whatever his fucking name is Maylack Yeah no he's a nerd George is the only cool one That kicked him off

Yeah Praise Jesus Didn't they kick him off For like sexual assault No Cause he likes God Yeah Oh really

Yeah Jake Or Logan Paul was like Shitting on Some Jesus stuff and George got mad. That's basically it. And he tried to apologize like a little bitch and then George was like, fuck no. Yeah.

So I recently said that cats and dogs are mid or they suck or whatever. And this is what somebody had to say. Okay, look, I kind of understand this because i don't like scary movies i have lived my whole life sitting through a scary movie hating every moment and feeling every vertebrae in my spine and thinking about it all night when in reality i'm going to stand up for myself and say no i would like either a good a feel-good movie an action action movie, or a nice comedy. Life is scary enough. I don't enjoy watching people get tortured or having things jumped out at me. Somebody responded and said,

I call my cat Mr. Pee-Pee Hands because he's gross. What the fuck? People are stupid. It wasn't just another comment in the video. On the video. Somebody responded to their comment. And said, I call my cat Mr. Pee-Pee Hanks. That's pretty good. I get it, though.

Like, why put yourself through some shit just because that's like, oh, everyone wants to go see the scary movie. But, like, you low-key don't like scary movies. But you're going to go anyways, even though, like, it's bullshit. to go see the scary movie, but you low-key don't like scary movies. But you're going to go anyways, even though I don't like scary movies, dude. It's bullshit. Scary movies blow. I hate scary movies. Walker doesn't watch scary movies. He's like, what's the point?

Walker only likes movies that makes him feel maybe not necessarily good, but not make him feel bad. Yeah, I only like movies with white protagonists that are men in their 20s because if I can't imagine myself in the main role, I can't enjoy it. So that's how I consume media. But what if it's scary? Well, I just don't watch those movies. Because nothing good happens in those movies. I don't like watching a movie that leaves me uneasy if the door's locked.

I already have a big fear about that. I don't like not feeling good like in my home like got me feeling all weird looking out the window looking down the hallway and it's dark what's that i don't care that they're movies dude i'm such like a puss bag like if i watch something scary like i walk around my house tiptoeing that's what i'm saying i'll finally lock the doors for once. So are you guys scared? Are you guys scared of walking around your house in the dark at night? No.

Not until I watch a scary movie. Then you watch a scary movie. Unless I hear it. That motherfucker's in here. I know it. I'm like, there's some... Dude, when I first watched Paranormal Activity, that shit fucked me up. Unless I hear a noise.

Like, if I hear a noise at nighttime, I'm going to be hesitating grabbing that thing. Oh, when I was younger, I used to lay in my bed at night. I'm hesitating on that. I'll get another hot take. I used to lay in my bed at night, almost having a heart attack every night based on any sound that I... If a dog barked in the neighborhood, I'm freaking out. Yeah, that's it. Sorry.

Yeah, try living in the country and hearing a noise. No, I actually totally relate to that when uh when we were living in this like rental house uh some like dudes tried to like break into our house and i saw them like out of my window and like start screaming for my dad so for like the next year whenever i heard a noise i had to like go check the window and like make sure nobody was trying to break in again you probably probably had no lasting effects, right? Yeah, no, you moved right past that one. Yeah, yeah.

And on that note, make sure your doors are locked. We're shutting it down for the night, boys. Lock the doors. We'll lock the windows. Don't be afraid to go check that noise. That's what I'm saying. Our neighbors are getting active in the yard right now. We're hearing voices outside this

motherfucker we gotta go they're finally moving back in so next week's renovation next week's theme is seasonal basicness let's go take that as you will we need we need you to send us some q a questions based on that theme seasonal basicness uh aj do you mind describing what seasonal basicness means to you yeah this was actually my my creativity kind of um he's popping out you know popping out this is this is my shit so like what do you do this was all his idea third time all his idea make sure if either of us try to take any credit for that, then we're – Don't believe us. Yeah, we're bullshitting.

Because it was only AJ. What's it coming up? Fall? Yeah, fall. Autumn, if you will. Then pumpkins are popping out. Anything with the word pumpkin spice is popping out. These brands –

Ooh. I've never heard this before. These brands are putting pumpkin spice on anything. I saw pumpkin spice Rice Krispie Treats the other day. That's funny. They are putting pumpkin spice on anything i saw pumpkin spice rice crispy treats the other day that's like they are putting it on anything what do you do what do you do people the uggs get brought out people go so next week next week's theme is seasonal basicness um take it how you want yeah take it however you want it when aj explains yeah so uh guys we appreciate you listening.

Do we have any more addictions left? Listening to another. I don't fucking know. You guys gave me some bullshit, so I was just moving on. I feel like I gave you one good one. The butter sandwiches, dude? I'm going to get clowned for that. Bro, you said the only thing that pissed me off about your story was you said I spread a thin layer.

Yeah, it's not thin. That was fucking bullshit. I wanted to dip my toes in without i didn't want to jump right i don't want people to know i eat a butter sandwich dude if you're gonna say it say it with your fucking chest you know it's a it's a sizable amount of butter sometimes thank you most of the time thank you for listening to another episode of always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj i'm walker and guys uh join the discord i'm really lonely at work link is in the description we out love you people