Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #49 - Walker Becomes Santa This Episode

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Short episode this week. See you after the holidays!! Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always laugh podcast my name's austin lane my name's aj my name is walker and i'm uh contemplative today hi guys hey hey um we're day late dollar short yeah we're recording the podcast the day it's supposed to come out uh sorry we had some time and we weren't even gonna record it you know we almost said we're almost done we're almost giving up entirely on this podcast like we're only like two or three emotionally significant events in any one of our lives from ending this bad boy it almost happened this week and it almost just said fuck it yeah all it's all it's gonna take is one rainy day might not might just call it

hey but that didn't happen an episode came out this week we did get an episode out this week so you're welcome guys I know you guys have been waiting all fucking week for it all we have to do now is record it we are really struggling you guys got anything?

no we're struggling right now. We need some support in the comments. Please tell us to keep going and or just say how you feel. If it's the other way, then... Hey, all those people that have been commenting since the very beginning, now is your chance to shine.

I do want to say early in the pod that we are going to take a week off. We're taking a week off, right? We're taking Christmas off. We're taking Christmas off. We're taking a week off right taking christmas we're taking christmas off we're taking a little holiday break give you guys a break our next episode should come out january 2nd i think that's the next tuesday after the holidays that should be fun yes maybe shitty powerpoints again actually for real this time yeah we don't really have a theme it's uh the theme is christmas christmas is right around the corner um so uh you know have a happy holiday i do want to say we over the past year we we have made a great effort to continuously do

the podcast every week sometimes some weeks we definitely did not want to do the podcast every week sometimes some weeks we definitely did not want to do the podcast but we still haven't did that so i mean that's this is definitely the most consistent i've ever been at anything in my life oh yeah i don't think i've worked a job this consistently and it hasn't even been a full year yet yeah so i give myself props because i don't know most of the audience probably doesn't know but i drive here every time and well not every time it's all but one time no we did one in atlanta oh yeah we did two at your house oh yeah oh yeah we did do two at my house but anyways i'm proud of myself for uh continuously showing up because sometimes it's tough i'm proud of myself for continuously showing up. Sometimes it's tough, man. I'm proud of you too, AJ.

I said that the other night. You really do put in the effort to get here. I got to push back a little bit. AJ uses the podcast as an excuse now. That's his hangout time with the boys. It's his one day a week that he's allowed to get out of the house. He stays here for 56 minutes, and then he's allowed to get out of the house yeah he stays here for 56 minutes and then he's fucking out the door 38 and a half minutes after the podcast we beg him

to hang out we have to cut him in like afterwards yeah afterwards we're just like continuously asking questions in the living room to try to get him to stay he'll record on discord the night night after he stands in the doorway awkwardly trying to leave for like 40 minutes i was gonna say yeah it's usually me standing in the doorway he's like bro as soon as i hit walker's vape i am out this bitch i swear to god freaking 30 vape hits later um so yeah boys um how's your weeks going you excited for the holidays pretty shit bud yeah yeah that that's mine's mine's going okay i uh i'm racking up a absolutely disgusting amount of debt right now oh dude dude but i don't even care i've done something pretty sick lately

i think i've spent i think i'm averaging averaging $100 a day for the last, like, 38 days. And that's not an exaggeration. I've spent so much goddamn money. Dude, that's great. It's been fun. It is. And, you know, especially when I get, like, you know, all sad or stuff, nothing livens me up. Like, buying some shit I'll never even like look at again you know

you've been typing in that pin number fuck no you just press that inner button bro pin number what's that I don't even remember my pin number um Austin has a or we all I keep talking about whip one out. We all have credit spending problems. I love it. It's a free subscription. It's a free monthly subscription to free money. It's pretty sick. So I missed AJ's baby shower because I'm sorry. I miss AJ's baby shower because I was in Asheville.

Every now and then I'll just say your name I didn't think so it's alright I've already I'm over it I was being immature that day and extremely petty so we're good I bet so this you know I this is my

me making up for it so item one I got a king size heating pad This is me making up for it. So item one, I got a king-size heating pad. I feel like that will be useful. Show off each product. Yeah, right? For you and the baby. Right here.

Bing. That's sweet. Yeah, right? Yeah. King-size heating pad. Pump them out, walk. This will definitely get used. Mainly by Kenzie. I got some butt wipes, the sensitive ones,

because I want that little baby to be taken care of and all clean and hygienic. Clean butt. Thanks, man. We're going to fly through these. Oh, hell yeah. Probably. Dude, they sell them in, like, a thousand packs. Like, you know, the cardboard boxes full of baby wipes.

Thanks, man. For you people that are audio only, Walker is currently pulling out a shit ton of baby presents. I got some Disney baby wrap swaddles. There's Tigger and Pooh in there.

Some duckies and all that shit. Winnie the Pooh themed? Hell yeah, dude and all that shit. The Winnie the Pooh theme? Hell yeah, dude. That's our baby's nursery is Winnie the Pooh theme, so that's fire. Dude, I love how they do baby scaling. There's like N, which is newborns, and then it goes like 1 to 7. And 7 is not even a baby. 7 is like a 7-year-old.

Like they're like 48 to 72 inches. I'm like, that's me. Are these adult diapers? They do make adult diapers. Oh, yeah. Shit, bud. I got some swaddlers. The swaddlers, where are those?

I don't know. I was hoping you would know. What the fuck are those? Chancy, do you know? Swaddlers. Oh, they're just diapers? Number one choice. Yeah, right, dude?

Are those like rewashable diapers? No. Throw them away. Oh, no. I don't fuck with that. Yeah, that's straight in the car, but it's some weird shit. Reusable dives, dude? Dude, just the eco-conservative in me just dying as soon as a baby's involved.

It's like, oh, yeah, we can do a single-use product for everything. Absolutely. Fuck it. Dude. Goddamn, buddy, how much you buy? They got baby sterilizers now. I got some bottle brushes. We gonna need those for sure.

I heard about these. I think I saw them on your wish list. Oh, on the baby list? It's very nice of you, man. Thank you. I got some moisture wash. And, of course, I gotta get some bedtime lotion for the baby.

Moisture wash. Dude, this baby's about to be lubed up. With products, man. We gotta start her off early, okay? No elbow creases. Walker, wasn't that one of your New Year's resolutions? No elbow creases?

Yeah, dude. He's passing it on. I've really fallen off, I've got to be honest. One of these bad boys that I guess they chew on. What? That's what chewing on? It's a sensory activity. Yep, sensory poppers.

Yeah. I'm hedging my bets that they might have a streak of autism. AJ's going to be in the living room. Oh, yeah. No, AJ's just going to be using that. AJ's going to be in the office just chewing on it, pressing the little poppers. Dude, I almost – it's crazy because I almost got her a phone that was a – I did steal this one.

So if you don't want to accept it, I understand. But it's a Mylacon. It's like gas relief. And it's good for like baby newborns. So, you know, if she ever gets like a little gassy. Why'd you steal it? It was expensive. You said, fuck it.

I was like. Can't afford this one. After the diapers. Fuck no. Throw that one straight in the bag. Do they have you on camera? Of course. I'm not that sneaky.

I got a little CeraVe because I'm a CeraVe boy. A little baby wash and shampoo. Kenzie's a CeraVe. Jesus. And this was the controversial one. So I got you a lotion for stretch marks and like a tummy butter and all the

women like audibly gasp and to me like you're pregnant no shit you get stretch marks right so like this was coming from a place of love but if you're offended I've got a lot of stretch marks too so if you want me to keep the lotion and you just take the bobby butter just let me know no i think that's nice

all right perfect yeah everybody's like i don't know like but i'm like i'm like coming from walker like it like especially walker she's like yeah he's fucking goofy like that he's gonna buy some shit like pregnancy you know that's that's the cost of doing business they gasp in like a bad way yeah yeah they're like i was don't assume she's gonna have stretch marks yeah she just casually has a baby inside of her and doesn't yeah i was like run it yeah i mean as a fat man i've gotten stretch marks you know i couldn't imagine something growing inside of me as a a skinny man, I have stretch marks. There you go. I don't have stretch marks.

This fucking guy. This fucking motherfucker, of course. What did Catwoman say? They're not stretch marks. They're tiger stretch. Either she was big and got small, or she was small and got big. Either way we fucking legend the game

this is before cat Williams got beat up by the kids and shit but he bounced back man he's one of the funniest ever do it that sort of God that's one of the funniest but dude that was very thoughtful you really knows that's too much man you didn't have to do all that. I appreciate it. I'm glad you liked it. Yeah. Was there something else we were supposed to say? No.

This is our present to the viewers or the listeners that we're giving you guys about a week and a half break. And then we're coming back strong. Well, you know, as the happier I get in my personal life, the more I backslide in my emotional life, I find. You know, my eating disorder is getting so bad that I throw up after eating pussy now. Jesus Christ, Walker. You might want to change the – her pH levels might be off. Oh, I don't think it's her. So, but, you know, I'm very happy right now. Boom.

That's good, Walker. I'm really glad to hear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like it. I didn't know that involved calories. I don't think you do, Adrian. You're burning calories, actually, probably while you do that. Yeah, it's like celery.

So, it's a double whammy, dude. Well, not the way I do it. You're throwing up and doing it so you're losing like that many more calories exactly ladies and gentlemen don't throw up after you eat anything okay it's not unless it's not recommended unless you're a really cool kid and you want to try a fun thing called uh all right no we're not trying any of that okay we're not doing that don't listen to walker's dumb ass um yeah like we said next episode coming out january 2nd this was a short one we had to get something out for you guys uh sorry that we're slacking and falling apart

mentally physically and emotionally there's just a lot going on man everyone's a little bit tired and a little bit exhausted holidays are just really taking it out of us it's it's just we we've had a hard time linking up that's another thing we we've just been so busy we've had a hard time working with each other's schedules mainly my schedule i know walker has a schedule austin doesn't really have schedule but i don't know austin's been out of town more than I have lately. Yeah, literally, Austin, well, yeah. He'll be around more. He'll be around more. But, yeah, thanks for listening to another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast.

We'll see you January 2nd, baby. My name's Austin Lane. My name's AJ. Rest in peace to Jay DeYoung, and he should have never died. I'm Walker. All right, baby. We out. Love you, everyone.