Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #50 - New Years Resolutions are for Lazy People

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

This episode we talk about our New Years resolutions and times that people blatantly lied to our faces. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

Welcome back to the always laugh podcast. My name's Austin Lane. My name's AJ. I'm Walker. Guys. It's been a while we know we didn't quite come back when we said we would but we're back now and we're back for good. tonight um so i just want to say go blue real quick represent my old favorite school my favorite team michigan versus everybody yep kind of infantile if you ask me or whatever how were you guys's holidays pretty good man yeah it went by quick you know it always goes by like a blink of an eye man you blink and then boom it's over and then you're back at work it was definitely a blur definitely a blur december was a bender from hell and now we're in dry january for me how's that going that's for me um honestly pretty easy like everybody's like how you doing i'm like jesus people probably are people seem to be really concerned with whether or not it's going well for me. So, yeah, no, it's going great.

It's pretty easy. I'm happy to hear that, too, because I was worried. You know, I thought there's only two drugs that you can die from the withdrawal, and I, you know, fingers crossed. But I'm glad that had some measurable effect. I haven't died yet. Yeah. I think Austin's a lot like me as far as I feel like he can wean off pretty quick as far as like.

Oh, there was no weaning off. New Year's Eve was the last time I drank, and I went balls to the wall. I was like, this is my last run. I started taking tequila shots at 3.30 in the afternoon and didn't stop until 5 a.m. Well, I guess wean off wasn't the right word, but I like you can just quit and then shut off completely yeah you can just quit and then just be you'll be all right yeah it's like i mean i might have swore i might have laid in my bed at night and sweat for like two nights but after that it was all good because i don't have an addictive personality either i can just stop do you ever seen that movie train spotting where uh

ewan mcgregor is like detoxing from heroin and it's just like the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't think so. Oh, he's like, you know, screaming at his parents to like get him more heroin. That's fucking fire. Anyways, AJ, how's life

in the Big Blue, dude? The Big Blue? Oh, dude. Speaking of the Big Blue, man, that's funny calling it that, big blue. Corporate America, right? Yeah, corporate America, baby. Dude, the other day, listen, the other day, because with me being a manager, I have to get involved or I get forced to be involved in a lot of conversations that normally obviously I wouldn't want to be be in but since I'm a manager I kind

of have to and this there's a guy at my counter service us that wanted some money off of some bread right because they expired the next day people can play in a wild people complain about the crazy stuff he wanted some discount on on some bread that expired the next day, right? And he's like, because normally we discount them. If they expire the same day, we discount them that day. But it's only on that day. So he was a day early.

And I'm like, the bread's $1.80, man. What do you want me to take off? How much do you want? You know what I'm saying? I'm like, 10% is $0.80, man. What do you want me to take off? How much do you want? You know what I'm saying? I'm like, 10% is $0.18. Oh, I do. I'm like, I'm about to run $0.99 out the door, bro. I'm like, I'll take $0.80 off, dude.

Sure. At this point, I'm just like, I'm mashing buttons on the thing. That's how they get you, on the margins. Dude, I'm just. If it's under $2, AJ will basically give you to it for free. Listen, so I'm new. I don't really do that type of stuff, but I had to step in to handle it, so I just hopped on a register and tried to do it for him.

Figure it out. And for some reason, it wouldn't let me discount it. And after seven attempts of me being like, all right, man, like, I got you, man. I'm going to figure it out. Like, no worries. I got you, man. Like, just give me a second. I'm going to take care of you.

He's like, no, don't even worry about it, man. I'm like, no, no, dude, I got you, bro. Like, he's because he's like, I'm a single dad, bro. Like, you know, this is going to feed him for three days, you know. Like, I'm like, all right, bet, bet, bet. I'm like, I'm one for the people, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, I got you, bro. Like, every penny counts.

I get it. It's penny counts. I get it. It's a recession. I get it. One of six single dads out there. You met one of them. That's incredible. So, look, so after about eight failed attempts of trying to discount this bread, I finally was like, you know what?

Screw it, dude. I was like, man, actually, I got you, bro. Just come with me. So I walk him over to the cash register, like the self-checkout, and I scan it real quick. I pull my card out because I'll just buy it for you at this point because I'm tired. Number one, I'm tired of dealing with you. And number two, I'm trying to move the fuck on with my day. Right.

It's like you just failed nine times in a row. You know how embarrassing that is? It ain't even embarrassing. It's just at this point, i'm tired of i've done my job that bad i would have been so it's just the system wouldn't let me discount this bread for some odd reason it's just it's like per pound and like so you're like i got you bro i'm gonna sweat yeah so i just i just pulled out my card and went to pay for it as soon as i put my thing as soon as you saw him pull my card out he's oh no no no no man like you don no, no, man. Like, you don't have to do that. No, no, no.

I'm like, no, bro. It ain't nothing, bro. A dollar or something. You're asking for a discount on $1.80. I'm like, bro, I got you. It's something. You could use it. It is something.

I'm like, this ain't even a freaking Mountain Dew or some shit. Like, bro, I got you. Boop. I paid for it. And then he hit me with the, you know what, man? It wasn't even about the bread. I was just going to see what you was going to do, how you was going to handle it. And he's like, I'm going to give you the $2 back, whatever it was.

And I'm like, no, dude, don't even worry about it. Are you good? He said, all right. So just for your kindness today. So as soon as he said just for you showing kindness today, I'm thinking he's one of them um internet dudes that's like like you know since you since you offered to do this for me matter of fact i'm gonna give it back to you and i'm gonna give you seven grand or some shit like that or like i'm

gonna buy you a new car that was wild so i'm like bad bad like hell yeah yup i'm like yup fucking my time has came where's the ring light where is it no i'm like looking around where's the camera i'm like looking for the camera i literally was like i'm like oh fuck i'm like hell yeah dude i'm like i'm up so he's like he's like you know what man i'm actually like a coin dealer and i'm like a coin dealer and he pulls out this penny that's like sealed and like in this little cardboard like thing he's like he's like yeah, like that was like extremely nice of you. Like you really didn't have to do that. Like here's this penny that was from like 1930 or 1940 something from like the World War II era.

It's worth like eight bucks. And I was like, hell yeah. I'm like, all right, dude. Like have a good day, bro. I'm like, thanks., dude. Have a good day, bro. Thanks. But I mean, one penny worth is a single father. It ain't asking for discounts on bread at Big Blue. Might be.

And then he's got shrink wrap pennies in his pocket. Sealed. Sealed pennies worth $8. Something's not right here. Something's not right. I'm just, this is what I was told, man. Are you going to sell the penny and get your $8? No, he said, save it.

This is what was weird. He said, save it and give it to your kids when they're older. I said, bro, that's crazy because I'm literally about to have a kid in like a week and a half. And he's like, yeah, just save it for and i was like all right i will i will do that that's hilarious it's really from like 1940 something world war two he said that's funny that you said you felt like you were about to like like you were on someone's youtube channel yeah i thought i was on jimmy darts for your kindness shout out jimmy darts man he does that a lot of times. When I was serving, I wanted somebody to come in and order Diet Coke

and leave me like a $10,000 tip so fucking bad. I would have been sick. I would have sold my – I would have sucked something serious for that. But time has passed, and we've got to move on. And, you know, I'm trying to become more focused and direct in my life while also becoming like more aloof and mysterious to my friends. I don't know if that's necessarily what we want, though. Have you ever thought of that?

No. That's never even crossed my mind. What if we... Not even for the slightest second. I think we should be able to put in some requests for things that we would like from you. Okay, perfect. What's on your mind?

I don't really have a good list right now. Well, you got to have something. I feel like it's the exact opposite of what you just said. Can you say what you said again? I want to become more aloof and mysterious to my friends. Can you tell me what aloof means? Perfect. Oh, that's aloof.

Okay. Yeah, I think we need a little bit less of that a little less i need more like like direct you know like i don't know i want i want walker to boss the fuck up that's what i want i want to see walker like on some like i'm folding on myself like a uh like some kind of black hole you got the persona for it like you already like the way you walk and everything is like straight up like supervisor like i wish i had like a patrick mahomes type voice you know no you do not i was like patrick mahomes inch taller like two levels more attractive my My voice was just sucked. Like, you know,

it's like the human version of like the sleeper car, you know, except like the opposite of a sleeper car. It looks good on the outside, but then it's shitty. I want Walker to start making Tik Toks. I agree. That would be,

I want Walker. What is even Tik Tok? No, I want Walker to do like the Tik Toks where they just, they just cut the camera on and they just talk yeah he could come in here sit by himself and just talk just talk no edits no captions no nothing people would be like this guy is just fucking weird enough that we will watch you know like

no dude two views you don't it'd be like one of those videos that we post that gets like two views after like nine hours. It's like, that's who makes sense. It's me and Austin. Yeah, it's like, how is that even possible? It didn't go to anybody. YouTube's like, nah, nah, not this one, bro. Something's not right with this one. Try again.

You saw. Look, do you want to know something funny over this? So over the past, what were we off? Three weeks total? Two weeks? Three. Three weeks, whatever. During that time, I've had some time to reflect on people who think they're hot shit, right?

Like people in certain professions that like they think just saying these words like puts them above the standard citizen, right? When you hear some... They're low-key just not shit, though. When you hear someone say that... Yeah, like, my aunt, yeah, she works for the state.

If you don't shut the fuck up, who gives a shit? Don't no one give a fuck if you work for the state, bro. Like, sick. So she has a shitty salary. Good shit. That's what I'm saying. People think when they say they work for the state,

it's like we're supposed to get down on our knees and bow down. Like, you work for the state. Wow. Sick. Well, this isn't really really. You're underfunded and overworked. But, dude dude state employees they got a maid you know that's a job security yeah they get to just be horrible at your job

they get to go to worse at your job and you don't have to worry about being fired buddy works the road commission they get to go to state employees credit union have what's like that's y'all remember when we were kids and like you know the kids would just serve up the most horrific lies you've ever heard. Where it's like, this guy really or this guy or girl really thinks I'm like dumb as hell. Would y'all got any like that? Like my friend one time, he played peewee football. He was like, dude, before the first game of the season, I was so excited. I, uh, we all so Christian back then. He was like, I kneeled down in, like, the football stance,

and I prayed to God to just, like, make time pass. And I blinked my eyes, and I woke up in the exact same position the next morning. And it was ready to go. Like, it was time to go to the field and play the game. I believe him. I don't believe his ass. I got a buddy. I think he's lying right now.

He hit the Tim Tebow for 24 hours on accident. 24. Yeah, a straight. He got a full nine in the Tim Tebow. That's funny. I had a friend in high school that did that shit. He said he graduated to this day. I don't think he did.

He's the only dude that went to school all the way up until the last day and didn't graduate. Bro, you went the whole time. He was probably in ninth grade the whole time. No, he was a senior, bro. He was a senior and went. He didn't miss not no school. Came to school every day and didn't graduate.

How does that even work? It was so weird. We all had our cap and gowns on. I was looking back at pictures. We all had our cap and gowns on taking pictures, you know, after graduation. And he's in his street clothes taking pictures with us. And none of us thought that was odd. Maybe he just couldn't afford the cap and gowns.

That's the thing I like about these high school girls. No, he did walk through this. I keep getting older. They stay the same age. Somehow get younger. I had a friend tell me a lie once. And I believed him. I was i was in like first grade maybe kindergarten i don't know but he was like bro i got a business opportunity for you and i was like

dead ass let's get it like i was all about my i was obsessed with money back when i was that age and uh that age he he was like he was like my uncle just stole 10 vans worth of money. He just robbed banks. He has 10 vans worth of money. All we got to do is help him move it. I said, say less. I will do anything. I will make up.

I don't know what I was going to do to help in first grade. I was like, all right, let's do it. And every single day for the next month, I was like, bro, what do we got to do? Like I went to sleep at night, like laying in bed at night, dreaming of this money. I'm like, bro, I got a whole van to myself. Like I'm about to be rich. I'm about to change my family's life. And then the day never came for us to move the money.

And then about five years later or maybe like a year later, I looked and i was like wow you're really stupid austin you really thought that this seven-year-old had access to 10 vans full of money was he one of those kids that was just like a habitual liar yeah he couldn't trust a single thing that came out of that fucking kids yeah for sure he was a dick like he was kind of like a bully like but like him and i friends. His dad showed up late to pick him up from school, and he's like, oh, you know, he's a secret agent. So sometimes he gets taken away on stuff. But in reality, his dad was just a piece of shit. We were in middle school. His dad was just a shitty father.

Yeah, well, you know. I want to ask you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Since you started Talking about money Can you not be? Name one father who's good Me Fair enough

Facts Doesn't have a kid yet You got Jack, that's more than a real kid Puppy is harder than raising a baby That's a hot ass take Is it a hot take segment yeah walker's hot take puppies are harder than raising a baby i want to know i want you can let us know very soon if that's true i want your guys's opinion on this this question so i loaned a buddy

40 bucks and in his response he's like bro loan me to 40 i got you 50 when i get paid cool little interest you don't even gotta pay me to 50 bro i got you 40 you better send me 40 back you good i damn near accept 30 back i don't care just give me back about what i gave you you ain't gonna give me no more because i know time's tough so listen to some of these excuses i've gotten right i just want to do y'all think i'm getting the money back because we're going on like almost a month oh yes probably only a month well i don't know who this hold on hold on but the dude has a good tracker a good track record of paying me back he's never failed he he he will always explain himself though if he doesn't have it and that's all i ask if you don't have the money just tell me bro this buzzer this happened this happened like as long as it's

realistic bro i got you this day cool and he's always so what do you say owned up to it right what are his excuses this time these are the latest ones so let me know how y'all feel about this so i'm gonna redraw a thread right so friday comes along you know the day you're supposed to pay me i wait till about one in the afternoon right so i don't want to bother you know the day you're supposed to pay me i wait till about one in the afternoon right so i don't want to bother you know wake up brush your teeth get started you know i know i know you got that check first thing in the morning you know what i'm saying and to someone who don't got no money money is everything right so i know that motherfucker you got to catch him quick before saturday before that money's spent you know you know

because i know i ain't the only one on his list. So I know as soon as that money comes in. He's paying people back. He come into you for $40. He went to a bunch of other people for $40. That's what I'm saying. It's going, you know, it's a different avenue. So just let me know here.

Hold on. So I wait until about 1.20 in the afternoon. You forget about me, dog, is what I say. You know, something cordial. You know, I'm not going to cut into you. I'm trying to be funny. You know afternoon you forget about me dog is what I say you know something cordial you know I'm not gonna cut into you I'm trying to be funny you know you forget about me big dog money bag you know hit me up this was his response fuck I'm so sorry man it's been hell bro my new girl stole a bunch of shit from me tried to steal my truck she broke my heart I had to spend all my money just to get my truck back and shit i got you this friday for sure i left her dumb ass so i'm like i'm like you gonna be i i said i said

i said you're gonna be all right just let me know that's all i said you're gonna be all right just let me know no worries right like like hearing that from this guy like you gonna be good bro just you're gonna be shake it off bro his, shit's been fucked up for me lately, man. I'm like, I get it. So I didn't respond, right? And that's the end of that, right? Next Friday. This is next Friday, week two.

What's up, money bags? You don't keep it funny, keep it light mood. Like, he knows he obviously owes me money. I'm trying to, you know. What's up, moneybags? Fucking broke. My boss's man's payroll got fucked up. Can't do the taxes on our checks.

This man owe me about 800. And today, I ain't forgot about you, bro. He said he'd been on the phone with QuickBooks since 9 a.m. QuickBooks? So, look, that was a good one. The Intuit service agent on line one. This was at 1 p.m. again. I give them to about 1. I ain't trying to bug you first thing in the morning.

I get it. You know what I'm saying? I wait until about 1. My man just sits in his bed sweating these text messages. so look my response all right man just checking in that's it just checking in i need you know and then he goes into you know you ready to be a dad changes the subject quick oh yeah you ready to be a dad i bet your ass is anxious so we start talking about that blah blah blah he said you're gonna do great man i believe in you and i said hell yeah i believe in me too so look and then so another week goes by i wait till sunday because i forgot about friday so i hit him up on sunday so now this

is when she gets deep i said what's up bro i need my money no response some bullshit so what do y'all think that's where it's left and what is today monday yeah yeah if he's an avid facebook user like all day every day if you uh if you don't reach out you will never see that money but you might also never see that money either way that's hilarious you say he's good for it i'm talking about he'd have been negative 500 before and he was good for it yes he broke it into payments but he was good for it every you know what's like what's this dude spending this on everything no not even i mean like like you know he say he might get paid you know he might get paid how real quick sorry to interrupt you like how often is he coming to you for money rarely right like how often y'all talk three times in a year y'all talk three times in a year no i mean

we talk a lot we talk a lot i mean not like a, but like three times in a year. So he's like one of your boys. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, like via work pretty much. Like I met him through work. Interesting. But so, but no, like say he gets paid like 600 bucks.

Like he's going to immediately come up off of a couple hundred from debts. He's going to spend 200 plus on a zip of weed for sure, thinking he's getting a steal. He's going to be left with like 60 bucks, let's say. I mean, I know that math ain't enough, but there's going to be like some fast food, some he's going to spend, you know, just he'll spend it on dumb ass shit that like brings no value and then like before he knows it he'll have like 40 bucks left for like two

weeks and then you're like bro like did you forget about like you're gonna have like your daughter this week and then like you're going to mcdonald's three times a day like that money like so that's how quick that's how quick he's in the negative and then like you know he don't have the most reliable vehicle so that's bound to have something wrong with it you know and then he just lives a wild lifestyle so he's gonna you know it just so the check is gone day one are you gonna get your money back no i've already talked it's hilarious that he just straight up didn't respond i'm sure when you got serious he was like fuck i've charged it to the game bro yeah fuck it yeah will you still be friends with him yeah for sure it's 40 bucks

dude i mean so like how long will it take for him to like circle back well he knows the the the loop is burnt now do you think he's gonna like come to you one day and just like here's that 40 by the way he might he might you should nickname him 40 from now on 40 ball what's up 40 what's up 40 i mean i did i did fall out with one of my best friends over 80 bucks but i found out she spent it on drugs but that was a different story she she lied she lied to me though and and said she was down bad i've had that happen before well one of my best friends in high school my best friend like it was a girl so she was like my sister for real like like that type of vibe and um she was my best friend and we'd always loan each other money her

mom would you know loan me money every now and then because i was like the broke one in high school like broke as fuck and And she had the money. Like her mom had the money, and her mom would spend on anything. And, oh, wow. That was uncalled for. I apologize. That was aggressive as hell. You got the sniffles, huh? There's too many lines before the pause, man.

Shit. But anyways. there's too many lines before the pod man but anyways um she low she was like aj my car's in the shop like i only need like 80 to get it out you know what i'm saying and we done rode in her car like like her car with me involved we we did so much in this car, right? So, like, I felt equally attached to this car. And I was like, not the PT Cruiser in the shop. We got to get her out, bro. Like, get the Cruiser out the shop. We got to get our car out of the shop. Right, right.

Like, that was our car. Like, she had the car that could go out of town. She had the car that could pick up everybody. You're like, I'll do anything. I was like, we need the car because she can't come scoop me without you there is no me so like she's like i need 80 bucks i'm like huh here go my last 80 i'm like nowhere like my last 80 i might even ask to borrow some money to give it to her and then come to find out like a week later she still don't have her car and i'm like bro like

was it more than yeah what we got going on like what's the balance come to find out car was never in the shop she spent the money on drugs and i never talked to her again so that's how that went i'm like over it i'm like it's crazy man but that was just because he lied to me like the other situation like with the dude he didn't he never he doesn't, like, the stories he told me, his responses probably were, like, made-up, like, bullshit, exaggerated, like, lies. But, like, it's different, I feel like. Because it's not, like, I don't know.

It's just different. Right. I feel like it's different. I don't know why. It might be just because it's only $40. But $40 is $40. Like, I need the 40 dollars now right in my yeah that's like 40 that's some diapers diapers yeah some some dives for sure i had somebody

like i'm like i'm like the same way kind of like you need some money i'll give you some money like my friend hit me up he's like yo i'm down bad like Like, I need $50. I'm sorry. What? I just couldn't. I had to sniff again. I just couldn't do it, bro. Hold on. If I start dripping, bro, I'm sorry.

Just go. Don't do it directly into the mic. He's like, I need $50. And he's like, I can give you these gift cards. I should have known right when he started talking about the gift cards that shit wasn't right. Anytime someone. What kind of gift cards? was like i got a dick sporting goods a chick-fil-a like what do you want he was like i'll give you 60 and gift cards for

40 or 50 whatever it was and i was like nah fuck it i don't want the gift cards just like i'll give you the 50 to have it and he was like all right cool like you're the man like you don't know how much this like helps me it's always you don't know how much this, like, helps me. It's always, you don't know how much this helps me. Come to find out, motherfucker was going to rehab, like, two weeks later. I was like, God damn it. Well, at least, you know, he had a plan. Come to find out, two weeks after he went to rehab, the next, the three days later, he left rehab. And went and moved in with his drug buddies. Well, you know, that's honestly a inspiring story of friendship you know how three addicts can come together in the worst

situation possible and you know overcome the state overcome those uh those bullshit identity politics that say like you know don't get addicted to hard drugs you know i was just wish politics would stay out of my fucking my drug use these days i mean i agree honestly i think um i think the lesson here in in 2024 now is you know shit happy new year guys just pay it back dude you know what i'm saying like yeah if you that's the thing if you're ballsy enough to ask for it bro be ballsy enough to pay it back or at least keep it 100 with me and just say you ain't got it don't give me the lies if i borrow money from you you anybody but like i wouldn't be able to sleep at night i'd be like i

gotta do anything to get this money back to these people i do not feel right i'm not i don't know if you guys are like this but like I feel like I shouldn't have to. You should be bugging me to pay me back. Like, yo, bro, I got you tomorrow. Right. Yo, tomorrow, 10 a.m., I got you, bro. And then, you know. But I feel like I shouldn't have to reach out to you for my money.

That's crazy to me. People are all different. People are different. You freaking were ballsy enough to ask for it. Dude, I wish the credit card companies were like that. Dude. It's like, listen, I'll pay you when I'm ready. all different people people are different you freaking were ballsy enough to ask for it i wish the credit card companies were like that dude it's like listen i'll pay you when i'm ready i need a little let me hold a little more just right now i will fully get you back i promise i will fully max out a credit card with cash advances before i ask to borrow money from

someone oh one hondo dude i'll get a new car i'm applying until i get denied i'm doing anything and everything possible before i borrow money from anyone i forgot about cash yeah dude you can pay rent off a cash advance you might only do it once but yeah listen to this fucking shit today sorry are you about to say something i was about to say go ahead no you go ahead you you seem animated about it no i'll remember probably because i saw this video today you know i'm big video guy i'll watch a billion videos before i read one thing um so i saw i saw a video today and this girl was just like talking about ways like to to get by like on some like i guess not really like finessing but just on some like fucking to make

your money this is not like good advice either this is like a terrible way to think but she was like look i think i might like it she was like i have some cards right because i'm sure you guys have cards like if you make a say you make a payment on your credit card it lowers the balance immediately but say you do it on friday right it's friday you make a payment on your card american express will immediately lower your balance right i'll say you have that much more available instantly right the money's not going to get pulled from your account until like probably that monday if you do it friday right so you got that three-day window she's like she's like yeah like i'd make like a dog can i get a pen um american express city no but anyways she would do this on a friday

and she'd go like out of town to all these nice restaurants hotels all this and like because she'd have the room to swipe right right she's like what's what's gonna happen monday morning they're gonna pull the money there's no money um what are they gonna do take away the experiences from me that i already lived and went through i already ate the food stayed at the hotel um that just sold it for me honestly i'm on her side so that was so that was that was the first thing right and people were in the comments like um sis like what about we're trying to fix our credit not ruin it this and that like and she's just like i'm just trying to like have fun buddy so and then the next

one was she's like everyone should have you know uh you know financial people on the internet love saying everyone should have an llc right you just make an llc your life will change forever right so she's like yeah everyone needs an llc right you need to pay and you need a website you need to pay the little funky fee for the website and everyone needs a website with after pay so she's like you do something to like you go you go on there like anonymously and fucking spend a bag on after pay the after pay like it's delivered to your like personal LLC account and then like it's like just the whole like yeah system through after pay and your own website your own shopify account and like after pay is like to split it up over time

yeah it's ruining people's lives for sure it's a finesse though if you do want something real bad and just want to just bust it down into four payments and not have to worry about your credit card but like i see some like horror well i used to see some horror stories on tiktok and it's kids are like four thousand dollars in debt because they're like you know it was ten dollars to hit that first yeah that's crazy i have a hot take for you guys hit me uh in the spirit of it being the new year um new year's resolutions are just an excuse for lazy people you know an excuse yeah like the excuse well it's like i don't know if excuse is the right word but people wait to the like oh my new year's resolution is to do this and like make themselves feel good about it like oh i'm gonna do this shit and like they're like i'm waiting till the new year to start working out like shit like

that i think new year's resolutions are just bullshit people like like i'm gonna change my life this year 100 my hot take is that new year's resolutions are just this is a lot of excuses it does help though a lot of people are on the same like vibe though like like that january 1st like you might bump heads with someone else who also is trying to hit the gym. So, like, there really might be certain people that really do follow through. You can hold each other accountable if you've got the same vibe. Like, no other time in – really no other time during the year is, like – Everybody trying to, like, change their lives.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's, like, some people really might, you know – You might line up with all your friends. I got to agree with Austin, man. You know, resolutions are setting yourself up for failure, especially if you're like, oh, I'm going to eat, like, even more of a piece of shit, you know, to get ready for this because, you know, January 1st, and then you make a major life change,

stick to it for, at best, two or three weeks. Yeah. And then you're back in the sauce. Right. That's why everyone at my work freaking now all of a sudden everyone wants to At best, two or three weeks. And then you're back in the sauce. Right. That's why everyone at my work, freaking now all of a sudden, everyone wants to use walkie-talkies, and we all have to lock these carts up now,

and we all have bets going on how long we think it's going to last because it's like, dude, it is so much extra work that we're doing now because they wanted to change everything for January. It is unreal, and it's just like it's not realistic long term like why are we even doing this so do you guys have new year's resolutions with that being said yeah what you got um well i'd like to do a recap of my last year's resolutions yeah what was and how'd they go uh become fluent in spanish? I didn't do a single Duolingo Spanish lesson. All right. Actually, I did one, but that was it.

Good work. Full middle split. No, that was a no. It's a no. Become a master composter. No, but I did. I feel like I really increased my plant growing abilities, so I'll call that a wash.

Okay. Classical gas front to back. That was another no. I'm sure gain or lose 40 pounds. I did gain 40 pounds and then lose 20 of it. So you kind of almost did both. Yeah, I kind of almost did both. So it kind of cancels out.

I would say that's like a wash again. You gained 40 pounds in one year, dog? Bro, I gained 40 pounds in like two months. Are you shitting me? Yeah. I haven't gained 40 pounds since. No, actually, no, I'm not. He's not shitting me.

Bro, I haven't gained 40 pounds since middle school, dog. Bro, when I got my skinny phase, I was going to tell you. It was 20-pound swings a week. Dude, it was fucking wild. It was sick. This is not healthy, but I love it. That's awesome. So what are your new New Year's resolutions?

New is, I don't know, man. You know, entrench myself in my relationships with, you know, romantic interest, with friends, with finally, you know, break out of this, what I'm figuring out is a year long depressive spell. I'm like, you know, I was looking through my email. That's a good stint right there. My sent email and like I went back to like 2022

and I was like, dang, I was on that shit. What happened in 2023? You sent no email. So 2023 was rough. It was rough. Is 2024 going to be better? I think so. That's it's 2024 gonna be better i think so that's what i like to hear i think so aj you got any new year's resolutions yeah i think you know this year is gonna be a big one for me because with my daughter being born in like a couple days um yeah that's gonna change a lot for me but i think i started uh last year what i got a job, a full-time job in July, August.

I've just been doing that since. I think really my – I'm going to say one New Year's resolution is I'm going to try to clear out all my debt, man. That's mine as well. I didn't work for two years, like two whole years. I literally – Yeah, we just partied for two years. I had the time of my life for two years running on credit it was fucking sick too so much fun and just buying everything and then before i

knew it i was 20 something grand in debt yep and then now i'm just like now i actually have a job and i'm just giving it all back like i get paid and i'm like i'm like interest and i'm like the but no dude i'm balanced transfer king but them little fees don't matter but um but now now i'm like the now i'm like the dude i was telling the story about that like i get my check and it just goes right to payments the whole thing you just didn't borrow from a person yeah i borrowed from big corporate so i'm no different than Buddy. It's just I pay on time, though. Yeah, my New Year's resolutions are similar.

I'm going to kind of get my life on track a little bit. Like I said, doing dry January right now, trying to take the time to come up with a master plan. We got to come up with a master plan, boys. I mean, yeah, that too. But one thing I'm standing on business on, I'm sorry to cut you off. I'm standing on business. I am paying off my debt this year.

Quote me, January 1stuary what you're at 24 racks yeah 24 hey i'm gonna pay mine off too that's my goal be transparent what's my number viewers fuck i haven't even i've kind of like stopped looking at it because it got oh god you gotta you gotta you gotta know i don't know it's more than 15 less than 20 that's all you gotta look in. It's more than 15, less than 20. That's all I know. You got to look in the mirror. More than 15, less than 20. All right. I've got a high or low. I've got an interesting conundrum I'm going through.

Oh, hell yeah. You know? It's 19.5. My friend's coming up. 19.99. Son of a bitch. Yeah. Austin's just like paying $1 off at a time just to keep it below 20 yeah

i mean i have an interesting conundrum and you know i make a i make a good amount of money you know i live a very comfortable i definitely live above my means but i've i'm starting i've started like therapy and my therapist came to me and she was like you know as much as i love you know getting paid absorbent amounts of money to sit in a room and listen to you i don't feel like we're making progress because we need to make more because i was only doing like every other week right so now i'm doing every week the only problem i've tripled my rent yeah that sucks so it's like a it's like a race to the finish. It's like, do I go broke or do I get healthy first? Fucking get healthy.

Because now I'm running the risk of destroying both at one time. Because imagine I don't get healthy and now I'm dead broke. You're homeless and you have mental health issues, then you're completely fucked. Then I become one of the people that I have so much reference for on the side of the highway. I think my master plan is I'm about to be, once I get to zero, right? I will get to zero because I've did it before. I had debt. I got to zero.

Fucked off for two years because I thought I was too good to work. And then now I'm back negative 20. But I will get to zero, fucked off for two years because I thought I was too good to work, and then now I'm back negative 20. But I will get to zero. I'm out to just financial advice, dog. I think that's my true – I've always been passionate about, you know, like just finances. I know this sounds crazy. Never trust anyone who made their money telling people how to make money.

I'm saying, like, because I was watching these parody Dave Ramsey videos, like people imitating Dave Ramsey. We got to wrap it up soon. And that shit was just so funny, the way he talks to people. But obviously, like, Dave Ramsey is not realistic. But anyways, that's my thought. I think that's my shit, dude. I like talking to people about that shit.

Dude, you do have this, like, kind of magnetic pull about you where like you could lead a scam i don't want to scare you you know you could like sell some like bullshit sales class i suck at sales though dude no no but like like it's like smaller scale it's more like you would kill as like a timeshare salesman or something like that no and i mean that the most in the best way possible use your powers for evil use car salesman great no use your but like you're the best version of that do you get what i'm saying i'm saying you need to go car salesman route i disagree no i agree i don't know how I feel. Use your powers. You have the charm. Like, imagine a non-slimy used car salesman. That's a fun person to be around. I had to go to the dealership today, and even the service dude was a slime ball.

Yeah, but imagine one that's not a slime ball. How are they all slime balls? How are they all wearing Patagonias? Oh, dude. That's just like the post-grad fraternity. It's a dealership. They piss me off. That's all for today, folks.

Hold on. No. What are those two books you have there? Just real quick. Oh, it's some recent literature I've been picking up. It's The Kite Runner and Lolita. Thank you. That's pretty sick, dude um if anybody still

watches it's been fun please be impressed um yeah we're done here guys thanks for listening to another episode of the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj go blue dude it was great to be back here with you guys i really enjoyed it 100 i'm walker we out love you