Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #51 - AJ IS OFFICIALLY A FATHER!!

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

This episode we talk about the things that have been the easiest and the hardest so far for Aj being a new dad. We also talk about breaking generational cycles and executing the master plan. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

welcome back to the always live podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj i'm walker what's up guys hey boys what's up guys just another normal week right nothing nothing cool happened or anything like that dude aj congratulations on being a father man you officially done did it i did it man this time. It's crazy that a. Well, you didn't really do shit, but. Yeah. Kenzie did it. You provided the least important part of the equation, but still, you were a part of it.

Yeah, you were a part. It's very nice to see what the outcome of all, like, you know, the gender reveal, the baby showers, the gifts. You know, during that time, it's just kind of surreal. Like, you know, thank you. Like, appreciate it's just kind of surreal like you know thank you like appreciate it and then like boom there's a baby you're like holy shit it's like oh that's what all that was for yeah did you ever have a moment where you were like we've got a lot of free shit we should have announced this a couple months earlier dude we honestly i can't even i can't even explain how like thankful and blessed we were in the whole baby situation

because, like, we ended up having, like, three baby showers. Maybe even four. Like, work. Like, dude, in what world do you have four different instances where people are giving you gifts, like, in a group setting? Like, it's wild. Yeah, that is wild. Dude, you filled, like, a perfect setting like it's wild yeah that is wild dude you filled like a perfect role you

know like my parents have been like wanting a child since i don't know everyone reached sexual maturity in my family um i'm sure you know lori and andrew would love to see a child you've like really filled that role i've mentioned multiple times like hey i think i want to have a kid mom and she's like dude shut the fuck up Yeah but maybe if you know Lexi said that to her She'd be a little more amenable I don't know why I can't have a kid Well you don't have a very good structure right now

To have a traditional kid I don't have the facilities The traditional kid What kind of kid do you think I would have You know maybe one Born out of wedlock and dude fuck all that shit let me speak for austin though we'll say this year he's structured baby he's doing good thank you aj he is structured this year all three weeks it's been great

yeah buddy three weeks is three weeks can turn into three months today it's longer than most make it dude were you scared like were you were you dude it's the 21st sorry to cut you off what's the decision oh i'm not doing another month dry yeah i've been on my dry january grind and i wrote on the calendar that i was going to decide on whether or not i'm going to do another whole month dry aka february um no that's stupid as fuck i've been bored i'm ready to have a drink dude austin's been putting his time to good use he's uh been making songs he's yeah he's he's really gotten this notebook going like yeah i've been i've been writing in my journal trying to be

productive but no dude like i'm i'm definitely gonna drink less i guess i don't it's not that deep none of it's that deep. It's fine. I just need to stay on schedule and freaking get rich or die trying. I'm going to execute the master plan in 2024, and that's all that matters. You just have to stay locked in, dude. You just have to be mindful of, like, okay, like, yeah, I'm about to drink or, you know, drinking. We're getting drunk this weekend or whatever it is,

but you just have to be locked in on the goal. Even, like, get drunk and talk about the goal, you like what you want to do like don't obviously be you can be annoying about it you gotta be obsessed you know you gotta be obsessed i'm gonna do what others won't so i can do what others don't or something like that i've heard that before some shit like that have you ever thought that like maybe the obsessive tendencies could be worked on what do you mean well like you know you're just you're just substituting your previous habit for the new habit what's the previous habit what's the new habit drinking was the previous habit yes and the new habit is being successful i feel like that's a good substitution i don't know i don't understand the question but uh

moderation i've always heard good things about that yeah yeah my my grandma's always like dude everything in moderation austin everything in moderation and i just simply can't you know like i don't i don't really fuck with the whole moderation thing like last night i ate five italian ices and i'm not sorry that's moderating dude you were talking about 10 i was talking about that so no i think it's i think it's okay to be obsessed dude can i moderate my heroin usage and still do it in a healthy way? Sure, man. Whatever you want to do. It's your world.

I'm just living in it. I think what you said about working on being obsessed is actually what he needs to do. Just be obsessed. Go even harder into it in 2024. I mean, like, dude. go even harder into it in 2024 i mean like dude i'm saying because when you really like when you really obsess over something like it can get really fucking real like i like as long as it's like a good thing you know i'm saying like don't yeah and like you had you've had good runs before like i said you're a man of many runs like you've built up like a man of many

i'm saying you you've you've built up good runs you know I'm saying you you've built up good runs you don't say like you had you had your tick tock run like you've had your YouTube run like like from the outside looking in it seemed like you did hit a little slump which happens to our multiple multiple times throughout the process yeah I mean like you hit a little slump you know I might have lasted a little bit longer than you would like like i hit a slump shit it happened it lasted two years you know what i'm saying right and now you know you might have needed the new year to you know get back locked in and maybe you go on another run you know i'm saying but who knows the next round might be the might be the run

that sets you off i'll be honest that's always been a fear of mine because like i i i know when i'm hot like i know when i'm when i'm hitting i'm firing on all cylinders and i'm handling fucking business and like i'll go on like a six six month run a year run whatever it is and i'm fucking on and then i fall i always fall off at some point you know like always fall off so during that run i'm just in the back of my head the whole time. Like, don't fall off. Like it's a fear of mine at all times, honestly. Keep pushing, man. Like that's the thing of, uh, obsessing, right? Like it's like long-term obsession because like, you just have to, you have to put in the time to, if that's really what you want to do. And, you know, well you know well i you know i have a very obsessive

personality about things and it's something i'm trying to change because you know i i get obsessed with really good things like the skincare shit but i go so hard that i just you know it's impossible not to burn yourself out and then once i'm off the train it's like it's so hard to get back on it for sure and i think that's always the the argument it's the obsessive versus burnout you know what i'm saying yeah for sure and i think like that's i don't think i need to be less obsessive i think i just need to put my time to better use that's why i'm trying to be very scheduled and like i don't know particularly calculated in the way that i do everything that i do because I will get burnt out like I try not to do too much of whatever because I will get burnt out so I feel like it's less less that I

need to be less obsessive or like moderate I don't know I guess it is moderation in a way just being more calculated so I can handle all things that I need to handle without fucking hating my life and you do when you figure out the not hating your life thing you let me know pal and you have the right you have the right environment to do it as far as uh you know you a lot of your friends and you know people that you know also you know are somewhat do the same thing and people are probably like what the hell are these dudes even talking about right now we're getting deep we're just talking about handling business and achieving goals that others won't 2024 you know we're using the podcast as therapy you know we're not spending money on

that dumb shit anymore yeah off the off the therapy grind onto the i'm just speaking to hundreds of people or 30 to tens of people but yeah dude i mean to go back to cancel everything we just said you asked if i was nervous or scared um yes i was extremely like when you because you guys kind of knew when this was all like when the birth and everything was going to happen yeah it was like going in were you like were you like a kid on christmas the night before like oh shit this shit's going down i really don't know like it's like the it's the unknown you know what i'm saying like it's uh i didn't really feel like christmas i guess you could say i don't know if that's fucked up but it was just like oh today we're we have to call it a certain time and we're gonna have a kid probably tonight you know that's nuts in in The thing that really blew my mind about it was like, you know,

in popular culture and everything, I just figured the baby came when the baby came, you know? I call AJ and Kenzie in the car and they're like, yeah, you know, they told us to call us at noon and if it wasn't very busy, they'd have us in today. And it wasn't very busy. I was like, what? Y'all just like scheduled it

out i didn't know like that was like a that was a part of it well it has there has to be a reason behind it you know um in hers was a medical induction which you know can happen for any reason right so it just was um you know with hers uh kenzie's blood pressure was up and down you know one day it'd be good the next day it might be a little bit on the high side or just above normal, whatever, which everyone nowadays has high blood pressure. It's nothing uncommon. Too much sodium. But just for baby's sake, they're like, yeah, we're going to plan this.

I think it was like a week or so ahead of the normal, and then we're going to go from there. So that's the only reason why I was planning. You can't just tell the doctor, like okay we're ready i'm tired of being pregnant which i'm sure it's like all right guys let's go i'm sure people do do that you know what i'm saying like i'm tired of being pregnant get this thing out of me you know what i'm saying but that's the only reason which it was it was nice because kenzie's very structured she likes to do everything very planned and that way she can plan beforehand and right you know which it helped in that end like we were able to

figure out what we were doing with the dog you know stuff family coming into town yeah there's a lot going on but no it was like the unknown man now that she's here it's like it's still the unknown like every day is different as far as um you know raising a daughter and just being trying to help out as much as i can you know that's the big thing yeah i bet it's weird for you being a first-time father trying to figure out like what role do i play here i mean obviously you know like to a certain extent but it's like how much do i need to freaking like what do i need to be doing or like will will kenzie's help me to fuck off no you need and that's kind of funny you said that it's like your diaper duty and moral support no literally

you just have to be involved like you have to do everything like you have to be the ultimate like sidekick essentially like that's that's a good description man like you just got to be a good sidekick you got to be you got to just like understand you just gotta number one you gotta stay busy number two you gotta just be there in general you gotta be there how's that funny i just love you coaching these in like sports terms like man just stay busy out there you know stay productive you know don't put your hands on your knees like stand up straight get to work get to never act tired yeah no you just gotta handle it just gotta be there

literally to simplify you have to like just like a huge thing i'd imagine is just sharing in the misery you know like being awake for like those like late night wake-ups or just like you know staying up and like you know for like the and, like, you know, for, like, the feedings and shit. You know, like, you have to go through the shit together. But it's crazy, though. Like, it's – I know I'm only on, like, day four of being a father, right? But, like, it's not that hard. Like, if you want to do it, it's not that hard. But I can see where there's people out there that are just like

fucking a i gotta change the fucking diaper like i'm not doing that shit like yeah hell not like like i've heard stories like of friends and family like oh like i i know i know this person and they say the dad like says absolutely they will not change a diaper that's crazy or like they won't you know i'm saying like they won't do x y like they won't do this and i'm like that's just people like how can you say that like you know i'm saying like you just you're too good to do that or like you know i'm saying like that that's what i don't understand it's like like what a woman's okay like yeah like it's got to be that because you can't be that grossed out by your own kid it's literally like i don't know can't be that grossed out by your own kid. It's literally like, I don't know.

It's just a little shit. I'll wipe your guys' asses. What I was trying to say is it's not that hard to be a good dad. You know what I'm saying? You just have to want to do it. And that's something that was scary because I never had a dad myself. So it's like I never knew what that role was like and it's really not that harsh i'm even looking at him like a bigger piece of shit like buddy

come on like i feel like aj is gonna legitimately be well this might this might offend don't drink this is gonna offend some people potentially so sorry to you people that this offends keep in mind i'm only on like day four but get fucked um i think aj has great potential to be the the best father figure that i know in my family wow he and like i said it's not hard to be him in in this family at least like i wrote him a card and i was like i was like dude i i was like you're on your dad i wrote him a card when i went over there the other day and i was like you're on your you're on your dad grind now like i think you're gonna be the best you're gonna be the greatest father that any of us know and like kenzie aj and i just all looked at each other and we're like yeah somebody's gotta

do it it kind of adds up please step up please it's like break the cycle buddy but that's funny um you guys said the break the cycle i all right can i read y'all something i got this from des bryant right because i know and i know that sounds crazy i know i know that's the thought leader of our time des bryant but he's a passionate man let's just just for posterity des caught it my tiktok facts my my tiktok is now um all dad and like baby stuff you know you know it's like completely like listening and what it was like working out or like music before yeah i started hurting those cries it's like oh we're gonna switch it up no but my for you page is completely just like babied and dad's out right and des bryant was on a podcast and like he's like i want to like they were talking about kids and obviously it does bryant like probably

has like a little bit older kids so it's a little bit different but a lot of the shit he said was really i actually wrote it down word for word uh because it's very um it's very nice you know i'm saying like till you said breaking generational fucking curses and keep in mind his kids are a lot older so some of the stuff doesn't relate to me uh quite just yet but he started off by saying and he was reading something off his phone i don't know if he wrote this or someone else wrote it but he just said it starts off with quit yelling at your kids before they go to bed and expect them to sleep with quit yelling at your kids before they go to bed and expect them to sleep well quit yelling at your kids in the morning right after they wake up

expecting them to have a good day you set the tone for your children you set the tone for the voice they will always remember in their heads you became you become their inner voice don't become their inner critic speak life speak love speak bravery kindness and hope speak wisdom and truth and most of all listen to your children and that was like i know a lot of that is probably obviously when they're older and can like obviously talk and shit like that but it just like i wrote it down like damn like that's some generational shit like if you always grew up like with your parents yelling at you and shit like who knows how that affected your fucking for sure like get the fuck up like i know nowadays it's like the whole gentle parenting thing like there's people that are

like hey can you please don't do that and then they don't listen they're like like fucking like get your motherfucking ass sit the fuck down and they sit down immediately you know what i'm saying it's like that whole thing but just like long term though i feel like that's something that you just have to be like the you got to be the voice in their head as far as like you know that guy you got to break that curse you got to be there have that mutual respect when i was a kid i felt like i wasn't heard you know that's what i'm saying the respect thing just fucking respect each other like you don't have to be a dick just because you're their elder you don't have to be a dick just because you're their elder.

You don't have to be a dick just because you're the father and they have to listen to you. You got to be a positive influence. You can be the friend, but you also have to be the parent, too. You got to be the one they can, you know. You don't have to be the bully. Yeah. Yeah. If you just explain yourself, the kids will probably go along with it. You don't have to pull out the because I said so bullshit.

Yeah, that shit. Oh, my God. That shit used to get me so fired up. Just tell me. Why? Please. Why can't I have a piece of candy right now because I said so? That's a dumb ass reason, mom.

Oh, my God. Just say you're not fucking with it tonight. Just give me anything other than I just have to respect your authority just because you are who you are. Yeah, just tell me you're in a shitty mood and you don't want me to be happy either. Like, now I have something to work with later, all right? I'll write that down and I'll bring it up. At least I can understand that you're out of control. All right, boys.

I think we need to come up with a game plan, all right? All right. First quarter. We need to come out with a game plan, all right? All right. First quarter, we need to come out there, stay busy, set the tone, okay? AJ, you're running a full court press on any diaper changes or any crying that goes on after the hours of 2 a.m. I'm already on it, dude. All right, bet. I'm on it.

That's all I got. Second quarter. Second quarter. We'll find that out in, like, four or five months. Okay, we're in the first quarter right now. Still in the first quarter. No, Kenzie does the feeding at night. I do the diaper.

And doing the diaper is fire, dude, because it's a surprise every time. I'm saying, like, it's like literally a game. Like, you're like, ha-ha, let's see what you got. And then it's like, it's either, it's one of three things. It's a blowout. It's a little wet. Or it's a clean, it's like it's either it's either it's it's one of three things it's a blowout it's a it's a little wet or it's a clean so it's clean you know i'm saying it's a ghosty it's it's a it's a ghost you know i'm saying like it's it's one of three things dude it's like you never know what you're gonna open it you know i'm saying i mean obviously you might get smell it you got a pretty

good idea but it's like it's either nothing a little pee or it's a blowout so have you had a up the back blowout yeah not yet dude i've had up the back so and that's full blown we're we're taking a bath yeah oh yeah yeah skip the wipes get your shitty ass i remember hearing that with like boys you have to like either like put their penis down or like you know cover it with something because if they start peeing it hits you right in the face yeah no that's wild that you know i have a girl so obviously like i'm dealing with you know parts that i'm i'm not too knowledgeable about i know i know a lot of guys are like i i i know what it's like. No, you don't. You don't know the logistics behind it. Like, a slight pause, maybe?

Like, you don't wipe up. You know what I'm saying? You got to go front to back, maybe. You wipe down. You know what I'm saying? And if, like, not to say if someone didn't tell me that, I wouldn't know. But, like, that's just, like, little shit like that. Like, if it was a boy, I'd be like, all right, buddy,

you feel like you're a little. Put your little shit out the way, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying? Put your little acorn dick away, buddy. Damn, that came from your mom. I know that. But, like, you know, just, like, the unfamiliar, whatever. Unfamiliar.

With that, you know, it's wild. But, like, I like changing diapers, though, dude. It's fire. Yeah, you say that day with that you know it's it's wild but like i like changing diapers though dude like it's fire yeah you say that day four wait till you're about your fucking wait till you like come off like a 17 hour shift and then you have to change the diaper because right right now we're in the black tar phase you know what i'm saying what does that mean oh dude a newborn a newborn's poop is literally like black paste. It is sticky. It's like a glue. And you have to sometimes rub really freaking hard to get the shit off their ass.

It comes off hard, dude. It's black and pasty, and it turns to a different color eventually over time. I've heard for the first three months of a baby's life, it's pretty analogous to just like an acid trip. they don't have any idea what the fuck's going on it's really like they're on psychedelic like they can't even really see beyond their blind as shit like inches away from their face even at like six months they're still like kind of a little blurry really i never knew that what what do you think like did does that match up with what you've seen so far? Like, this baby is just like, holy fuck. Well, I mean, the baby's been alive for four days,

and I think she's only legit probably opened her eyes maybe 30 times. You know what I'm saying? Like, her eyes are predominantly shut. Like, she opens her eyes sometimes, but for the most part, like, day four, she's predominantly sleeping. You know what I'm saying? Like, her eyes are shut for the most part like they might be open like 10 of the day but every day it's going to increase so like every

day it's you know it's going to go up in percents i know it's due to like you know developmental stuff but it's amazing that like evolutionarily like humans develop to just have our offspring be completely useless for like the first like first, like, year and a half. Oh, yeah, dude. Like, without the parents, human babies are fucking cooked. Yeah, like a baby, like, fawn or, like, you know, something like that maybe could make it. But, like, baby is, like, no shot. Yeah, like, they can figure out how to go eat something maybe and drink some water.

Baby is just going to lay there. Bro, I heard something wild about deers. So, baby white-tailed deer, like, when their moms go off and forage, they'll just like place them somewhere. They don't pee or poop. And when the mom comes back, she will drink and eat the pee and poop so that the baby doesn't make any scent that predators can track. Jesus Christ. That mom's nasty. Right?

Imagine you come back after a day of eating nasty-ass grass, and it's like, all right, time to eat. Give it up. Time to eat shit. Dude, that's a great analogy for what mothers go through, you know? Is that true? They grind all day. Yeah, bro. Well, I saw it on Reddit, so who fucking knows?

Well, I was saying, is that true? Like, it's predominantly all animals? That ain't true, bro. Some animals really need a mom to grow yeah for sure but like you know a you know an animal comes out like an animal you see a horse stands up you see i said mom they don't need that oh hell no bro humans are like it might be like humans and elephants where like dads even make a modicum of difference but But yeah, most male animals, like dad comes up, you know, gets his nut and he is gone.

That is the only involvement he has in the entire process. Oh my God. Although there are, you know, there's a bunch of birds that do like monogamous relationships where like, oh dude, there's some sad ass animal documentaries

where it's like, she's been waiting for her mate for the last four years they will never take another and it's just some poor ass stork just like you know makes a nest every year just sits there waiting for the dude and yeah he's just like he's either dead or fucking someone else i don't think he's fucking someone i think he's i think he's probably dead speaking of animals the detroit lions play the fucking who knows who, Tampa Bay goddamn Buccaneers.

Let's go. Fuck the Bucs. Go. Put it straight. What are we voting for? We're going for the Lions. Go Lions, baby. Would this be the first time that they potentially will win? If they win today, that's the first time they ever won a second playoff game?

No, they went to the, in like 90, I can't remember what year, 93. That's bullshit. With Barry Sanders, they went to the NFC 90 i can't remember what year 93 it's bullshit with barry sanders they went to the nfc championship but did they win the second one though yeah they won the they won the wild card and the divisional and then they lost in the um nfc championship i keep like waiting for them to like i feel like the last game i'm like this is the first time they've been to the playoffs and they're like dude you're fucking i mean you're not that far off it's the first time they won a playoff game in 30 years yeah so in your lifetime you're right yeah yeah it's fucking crazy it was so funny that the announcers were like yeah

you know most of the people here you know 30 years or younger have never saw this before like it's like it's pretty crazy dude you meant you know we might have talked about on the pod but it's like you always think that your sports team is going to make it, and then, like, you have the Cubs fan that was born, like, two years after they won the last title and died, like, five years before they won their next one. It's crazy. It's like he lived, like, 90-something years.

It's like it's going to happen in my lifetime, and it never does. It's like, yeah. The Lions have never made it to the big game, but, yeah, my grandpa Bob, RIP, he died last year. He was a huge Lions fan. And he was like one of those people that, which I kind of fucked with, that was like there's a minute left in the game down by three touchdowns. He's like, they still got time.

They still got time, baby. They'll find a way. He's like, anything can happen. I'm like, Grandpa, I fuck with that energy. But, yeah, no, he died, and now they might go to the Super Bowl the next year. Like, that sucks. We all know that one guy that just has that fucking storyline in his head. Like, they can get the onside kick.

They throw a Hail Mary. They score a touchdown. Get the onside kick again. It could happen. It could happen. It's never happened in the history of football, but it could happen this game. All it takes is that one team to do something similar but not the same exact thing.

There's a fucking way. There's a 1% chance. Probably less than a 1% chance you'll get one onside kick in a game. It's like the 16-3 of them beating Virginia a couple years ago. Now it's like every 16 seed thinks they're going to win. It's like that's happened one time ever and it took like like if they can do it we can do it no you fucking can't i hope you can but probably you can't probably not um aj what's been the

worst part of fatherhood so far i feel like i'm glad with this been like a very positive conversation so far the worst part to, to be honest, right now. Oh, not being with your kid? Yeah. That's cute. I would probably prefer to be home right now. But, I mean, it is nice to, you know, even though we're on day, like, or we've been doing, you know, we've been together since Monday. Like, as far as, like, me and Kenzie, like, doing baby stuff, like, in the hospital room or, you know, like doing that or, you know, until now.

Like, you know, it is probably good for her to get a little – I mean, she's with her mom, but some little alone time, you know, just because we have been shoulder to shoulder since Monday. Dude, that's a lot of stress for, like, a mother. Like, that baby depends on you no matter what. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why I kind of like like yeah it just it can be stressful you know like i'm sure every parent you know will have you know they'll cry like you know tears of joy tears of frustration tears of everything because it's just like it's it's

went from having like really no one rely on you to having like you have a billion percent like you have a heartbeat that you have to keep alive like yeah that's crazy or you go to prison you know what i'm saying it's it's yeah it's you have you have a couple pets at home how how have they reacted oh dude yeah how's jackie doing fine dude honestly like the whole this whole situation has worked out like flawlessly everything is going exactly how we wanted it to go like it's i don't know if we just like what is he like what the fuck is no jack will literally walk up sniffer like they've been like introduced and everything yeah dude like chilling out around him and yeah like you say

you'd be sitting on the couch like holding the baby jack will walk up sniffer face leave like and i'm trying to get i'm trying to get him into he's honestly it's crazy to say because my dogs i have an american foxhound um mixed with like a slight like a quarter of beagle so he's a fucking idiot and um and he's hard-headed as hell that's the but but anyways like i'm trying he's acting very protective like when when austin and austin's family all came over like kenzie's cousins and shit um the first day we we brought her home uh every time someone new would hold the baby jack would like go like check it out to like make sure everything was like straight yeah he's honestly

acting very protective over the baby which is like what i want like it's i mean what anyone would want um so cute but now like i'm trying to get him like i'll be like where's the baby like where's the baby like jack will come in and i'll like tell that to him and like, he'll go find like where the baby's at. He is kind of having a hard time adjusting on the crying. Like the first night home, we had a little hiccup where the baby cried for a substantially long time. And we did everything possible, um, a hundred times to try to figure out like what was wrong. I literally almost put the baby in the car and went for a ride like on night one like i heard this on tiktok it i heard it works we're getting night fucking car night one we almost went for a car ride um thank god i didn't we find out long

story short the baby was just a little bit hungrier than we thought um and we have that handled now but we just we didn't know her first time all the crying stressing him out you know so Jack sleeps with us every night right and um every night the whole night underneath the blanket right like a human sleeps underneath the blanket so you know throughout all this cute as fuck I guess throw all this crying all of a sudden we hear Jack let off a big sigh. You know, like a... And all of a sudden we look over. Jack has politely left the room. He walks out of the room and goes to the couch.

He just goes back to bed. He's like, fuck this. He goes right to bed on the couch. That is the first time Jack has left the room and removed himself from the room and went and slept on the couch. I love it. He's like, listen, I love y'all. I got to get some sleep. You guys are really pissing me off.

I'm a dog. I sleep like 18 hours a day. Dude, Jack's been kicked to the curb. He literally respectfully removed himself from the room. It was like, I'm gone. You guys have a good night. And he did that, and that was just funny. But other than the crying, which is obviously like no one in the household,

we went from having any noise that's made in the household we're making it to any noise could happen at any time uncontrolled. You know what I'm saying? So our peaceful little house to where, you know. number two now yeah it's crazy you guys just kicked him to the curb he's not i mean but he's really gonna forget to feed him or some shit like obviously like the baby is the most important thing but oh shit we have a dog i still care about my animals dude back when i was still on tiktok the cutest fucking videos ever were like those herding dogs that would herd like the toddlers you know like just like in the living room would try to herd the toddlers around.

Oh, my God. I want that to happen. I know he's not a real herder, but we can we can make something work. He's more of a stand there and stare at you type of dog. That's what he does. He's more of a window licker type. With Jack, he doesn't lick windows. More of a window licker type. Yeah. With Jack, he doesn't lick windows.

He licks pillows and blankets. I don't know why. He just randomly will lick a pillow to death, dog. I don't know what it is. Something's wrong there. You know how like. It's up top. It's up top.

We got him. We got him from Burlington. I think that explains it all. Yeah, that's all you need to know about that. It's fucked up there. Burlington, buddy. Who knows? But, yeah, man, I know that's – obviously nothing bigger can happen, no offense, guys, than me having a kid.

So that was the main topic for today. Yeah. I know Austin's – we're happy about your master plan we support you don't even worry about it you're a part of the master plan a little look of defeat when he had to close it halfway through the episode next episode buddy next there's a lot of good stuff just cross the one off and write it too but anyways austin did something very thoughtful. You know, he's did a lot of thoughtful things. I think Austin's honestly trying to, no, he did one thing that didn't involve money.

But he's trying to buy my child's love so far. You got to wait a couple months, bro. Which is expected because Austin doesn't have. Just putting on. Austin doesn't really have that much experience, you know, with kids. Kind of like me. Like how many kids do you think you've held in your lifetime? Like newborns or babies?

Like newborn, newborn? Just like one year or under. Oh, I don't know. A good amount. Maybe like – I have a shit ton of baby cousins. Oh, yeah. Fuck. But anyways.

For me, it's not that many. Maybe like three. But honestly, not that many. Yeah, to be like – A few. A lot of guys, like in general, like me, myself's not that many. Maybe like three. But honestly, not that many. Yeah, to be like that. A lot of guys in general, like me myself, me included, if someone handed me their kid, I'd be like, come on, dude. Just take them back.

I'm really just not – I'll be in the area with you, but I really don't want to hold them. Do you think it's you don't want to hold them or you're just worried about something bad happening? Not even that. I just didn't really have interest. I can tell Austin just like – and there's nothing wrong with this at all. It's just like, I'll watch someone else hold it all day.

I have way more interest in holding your child than like. I wasn't necessarily saying my child, but like any other kid. It's like somebody like, like some people are like, oh my God, that's such a cute baby. Can I hold her? I'm a big person like that. I'm not. I love holding babies. Somebody walks in with their baby like i'm just like cool like baby like i don't care like i'm good you know i'm saying i'm good i'm not i don't need to touch it or that's that's

why he's more like locking in on buying stuff because i can do that all day but anyways well he did something that didn't involve money which was very thoughtful you know whenever you do something out of you know your heart and you don't have to buy buy it it's like way more like so he wrote he wrote my daughter a song on her birthday right so the first day she was born he wrote a song like a whole freaking like mix and match like fucking guitar verses like masters are coming out soon. Dude, I'm getting Amazon because me and Austin share our Amazon Prime account, which is unheard of. That's cute. But anyways, I get all these.

Y'all be creeping through the orders. I get all these emails talking about, you know, all these guitar hookups and production things. Hundreds of dollars. I'm like, what the fuck is he buying? Like guitar amplifiers and like weird, crazy shit. And I'm like, what the fuck is he buying like guitar amplifiers and like like weird crazy shit and i'm like what the hell is he doing i'm like he don't even know he don't what i'm like what the fuck is he doing my walker does the guitar shit i'm like what the fuck is austin doing and then come to find out he's writing a whole song and um maybe we can play it at the

very end of the podcast as like a just a silence in the background dude damn near brought me to tears dude when i played it actually to my daughter like i'm like yo check this out and like and put it this line and put it up to her ear dog i definitely had tears in my eyes i was like god damn i'm like austin show level now it's very sweet austin show love oh yeah the song's not great. They're really gassing it up right now. No. You have to stop saying it's not that great. It's not.

The song is fire. Austin tore himself down for like two minutes before he showed it to me, and it almost made me cry. I just can't sing. He always does that. He tears it down, and he's like. You may think this is the best you have ever sounded singing. And it's a good song, dude.

Because I fucking did like 400 takes to try to get it. And listen, you put in the work, and it's a good song dude because i fucking did like 400 takes to try to get it and listen you put in the work and it it came out exactly like it should have thanks guys i really appreciate it yeah i just wanted to whip something up for the little cousin that's what i'm saying it's his little cousin that's fire dude that is fucking fire oh yeah and like when when they he said he said we you know we he said expanded the family tree we, you know, we, he said, expanded the family tree. What did he say? I can't remember. Welcome to the family.

Expanded our family tree. That is he. Like, I just added, we just added a branch to the family tree, dude. Hell yeah, buddy. Probably got to update it. That's crazy. Like, dude, you're, you're, what is it? 23, no, Ancestry DNA.

Ancestry DNA. Like like we just added another profile that's so cool that's wild ancestry um i i have a uh it is fucking it's wild dude you should get like one of those family trees like like the official ones that you hang on the wall i would have to reference it every day because i cannot remember family trees to save my freaking life freaking that'd be perfect i'm like bro how are y'all related again they're like bro that's my uncle i'm like how that's my mom you dumb shit i'm like how so what is she to me exactly nothing i've asked that so many times in my own family how is me and this person related again like who's your dad like oh fuck who's your dad oh you don't know

i'm sorry tough question austin's actually witnessed it in the flesh happen bro yeah he does it all the damn time i'm like text my cousin bro and ask him who his dad is and how we're related and i like how are we related? It's like, fuck, third time this month, AJ. Just fucking write it down. And then dude responds like, bro, so-and-so's my dad. He's your dad's cousin or some shit like that. I'm like, God damn.

He's like, I told you that a couple years ago. I was like, I fucking forgot, dude. So I've got a bit of an uncomfortable situation brewing. Tensions are rising between me and my girl's roommate. Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. So my girl's roommate has this little chihuahua named Sophia. Okay.

And the second I walk in this house, the dog forgets all about my girl's roommate and just comes straight to me. So, like, you know, me and my girl were in a room. I had, like, left my coat downstairs. The girl were in a room. I had like left my coat downstairs. The roommate was downstairs watching TV. I come back downstairs. The dog is completely across the room from the roommate, curled up in a ball on top of my coat. And the roommate's like, yeah, I guess she just wanted to like,

you know, cuddle on your coat and, you know, not come up to me or anything. And I put on my coat and it was all warm and stuff and like she ran up to me like before i walked out the door and i like petted her so i think we're gonna get a dog soon that dog yeah no we're getting that dog it's a chihuahua but it's a cool one fuck no there's no such thing oh dude how do you say it again chihuahua chihuahua chihuahua oh that that's another dude that's my that's my uh newscaster you know you know a developing story down in miami dude for some odd reason members of the latino community uh speaking of like chihuahuas i don't know why this made me think of this I think I do know why

But I for some reason just want to call my daughter Like whenever she's swaddled Like in a little ball I'm like you little fajita burrito taco enchilada Motherfucking I want to call her everything on the menu All of the wrapped Snack wrap looking ass

Crunch wraps are pretty looking I'm just like oh you, you're so cute. Like a little burrito. It's like fire, dude. I don't know why. Because when they're all wrapped up like that, it's hilarious. Maybe just like expand it beyond like Mexican cuisine. I call her like a parokie or something like that.

There are other wrap dough dishes. Sorry to keep talking about it. My little beef Wellington. Oh, my little beef Wellington. Buffalo ranch wrap. Little taquito. Buffalo chicken ranch wrap. My little chicken ranch wrap from the Tropical Smoothie Cafe.

Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. So that's that, man. You guys got anything else that we would need to touch on while we're here? That's all I got, man. I think that's all I've got, too. AJ, congratulations on your father. Congrats, bro. Congrats to you and the girl. It's pretty sick's all I got, man. I think that's all I've got, too. AJ, congratulations on your fatherhood. Congrats, bro.

Congrats to you and the girl. It's pretty sick, man. Thanks, man. I hope if you want kids, I hope one day you guys are able to experience that. Yeah. But if you don't, it's all good, too. I don't know, dude. I think I might be ready.

I ain't gonna lie, bro. Look. I kind of want to get a girl pregnant. I think I got baby fever. Sorry to hear. I think you guys are giving me baby fever. I think you should do that. too because i don't know dude i think i might be ready i didn't i ain't gonna lie bro look i kind of want to get a girl pregnant i think i got baby sorry you guys are giving me i think you should do that i'm gonna do it expeditiously sorry to keep going sorry to keep going but i didn't even think i wanted kids so i had a kid now it's fucking fire dude right honestly which is like crazy because like if you'd ask me what the fuck it's It's my phone. My bad. I should fucking fuck someone. Yeah, that's the.

Maybe you can get her pregnant. Stay tuned. I'm going to get a girl pregnant. I'm so excited. It's going to be mutual. I still won't be blood related, but I'll be even closer now. It's going to be freaking. You have to fucking specify, buddy.

What do you mean? Yeah, I'm going to say, hey, you want to have a baby? She's going to be like, yeah, the fucking specify, buddy? What do you mean? Yeah, I'm going to say, hey, you want to have a baby? She's going to be like, yeah, let's have a baby. Okay, there we go. Jesus Christ. Easy peasy, just like that. All right, guys, thanks for listening to another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast. We love you guys.

Oh, that's kind of something you say. Let me start again. Thank you guys all for listening. You can say it too, dude. No, no, I don't love them. Well, then that's fine. Just kidding. I do love you guys.

Thanks for listening to another episode of the Always Laugh Podcast. My name is Austin Lane. My name is AJ. I'm now back in the parking spots because I'm a dad. Wow. I'm Walker. We out. Love you, everyone.

Baby Summer Allen, it is 102 a.m. on a Wednesday. Baby Summer Allen, you just came into the world today. Baby Summer Allen, seven pounds, 11 ounces is what you weigh. On your left and right are mom and dad, and they Welcome to the world, you're a blessing girl Welcome to the family, expanded our family tree Welcome to the world, you're a blessing girl Welcome to the family, expanded our family tree Summer Rose Allen, I just wanna say happy birthday summer rose allen you got this look on your face you look a little crazy summer rose allen you and your mom have the same middle

name summer rose allen welcome to the family welcome to the game welcome to the family, expanded our family tree.