Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #53 - What its really like to live forever

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

This episode we talk about people that wear holy socks, white people sports, and old people having to go to too many funerals. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

Welcome back to the always laugh podcast. My name's Austin Lane. My name's AJ. I'm Walker and I'm peeved because I've been fooled by the trickster Feeling blue today, buddy Yeah, baby, dude, you're blue down blue doubt. Why are you wearing so much blue? I don't know. I truly like to blue when I, you know, go around. You like to what? Go around my office. You like to blue? I blew myself today, guys. What kind of material is that polo shirt you got on? Um, I don't know, bro, but this shit, it's crazy.

I like to consider myself like a hygienic person. I wear the shirt for two hours and it smells like. Oh, dude, that's the worst. It's like dry fit material. fit material just locks in sweaty. It pulls the sweaty smell out of you for some reason. I don't know what it is, but it smells like absolute trash. You never had that? I think I had one time in my day.

I think I had one, but that was a long time ago, and I can't remember. Because I have a couple dry fit shirts now, but I think I matured out of that phase. Sometimes even when you wash them, they still don't get right. They got that funk. Yeah. I have a couple of polos that are like that. They smell like shit. Dude, there's sometimes shirts, they just get too sweaty.

White shirts that you take to the gym, a bunch, they'll just have that yellow tinge to it. It doesn't matter how much detergent you use or, like, bleach or whatever. You're going to look like a dirty, dirty little. Because you got to throw them away. Fucker. Just charge it to the game, throw it away. Charge it to the game.

That's the thing with, like, socks. Whenever I get a sock now that's got a hole in it, I just rip it apart like it's, like, I'm Captain America with the log, you know? Because it's like, you know, victim of the game. I can't wear socks with holes in them. I've always been terrified of getting caught with a hole in my sock, so I throw them away. Some people don't give a shit.

Some people are like. Dude, my last roommate had socks, and there was one point where the sock was, like, the tips of his toes and his heel on the bottom. Like, it wasn't even a sock. Like, the sock was just, like, the top half. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man a sock like the sock was just like the top half i was like what the fuck is just like covering the top of his foot yeah yeah top of his foot to like his toes is like wrapped around it was a cloth that's different i was like he's like it

still works he has a toe cloth that's crazy and everyone can say that they don't feel it when you put your shoe on you have a hole in your sock. Like, dude, you feel. Why is your foot sticking to the bottom of your shoe, buddy? Bro. You feel that. One of my wearing, like, shoes with no socks is, like, one of my least favorite things. Oh, yeah.

It feels fucking gross. It is fucking gross. It is fucking gross. It is fucking gross. It is fucking gross. Like, I had a Sperry phase in middle school to high school, and I would wear no socks with them if I were wearing, like, shorts. And goddamn, those things reeked. Two things. Even something like slides. Yeah.

Did you ever, I know your fucking Achilles tendon had a dog-ass blister on it. Number two, did you ever go through the Sperry Nike Elite Sock phase? No, I was never Elite Sock. Really? Yeah. I thought I wanted to be, but I wasn't cool enough. I ain't even into dudes like that, but Austin has a sexy-ass Achilles tendon. What?

What is it, all skinny and shit? Oh, baby. It's like bulging from the skin. His skin's like taut over his fucking Achilles tendon. Walker, only you would notice some weird

ass shit like that. It looks like you'd fucking rupture the fuck out of it. I don't know how this dude cuts without his legs. I'm one wrong step away from blowing it. Exactly. Definitely. Like, I don't know how this dude cuts, you know, without his legs just. I'm one wrong step away from blowing it up. Slice and dice, baby. Dude, we played spike ball yesterday.

I've never really played spike ball. You ever played, AJ? Is that where you slap the ball with your hand up against the wall? No, it's like a circle net. A little like trampoline in the middle. Oh, the epitome of white people shit. Yeah. That's why I was a huge hater for so long.

But I got to say, when in a field surrounded by maybe 300 other white people, I felt really comfortable doing it. It was really fun. Spikeball is honestly crazy because every time I saw people playing it, I'm like, what the fuck? Where did they get this game, number one? Number two, like, what the fuck are they doing? Yeah, there's so many weird-ass rules. Like, you can hit it above someone's head, but not too high. And then it's the other person's point.

The first rule of spike ball is definitely be a somewhat nerdy white person. That is rule number one be a nerdy white person and don't care too much because it's mostly bullshit and you have to be in a public park or some shit yeah but yeah that was fun do y'all have any like just like weird uh sports or like uh like my like if y'all would play bocce yeah bocce is a good time my family my family's big on bocce. Yeah, bocce's a good time. My family was big on bocce when we were kids. Like any weird games like that. Bocce ball? We had

croquet. We had a croquet set. Is that weird? Is that like the little things with the arches? It's like a wooden golf club. Dude, that's sick. Yeah, we'd play some croquet back in the day. I've always wanted to play croquet. Were you good? I mean, no.

It was fun. Yeah. Would it just evolve into like the kids just cracking balls as hard as you could? Absolutely. We would, after, like the adults would play for real and we'd just go out there and fucking smack. Like we're hitting them like we're hitting a golf club. I had a horseshoe set up. Really? Horseshoe pit pit in my yard it was sick it's fun i couldn't i we had a horseshoe pit set up when i was a kid but it was like when i was like five years old and i couldn't throw the horseshoe

far enough to get it to the other side so it was always so boring. I'm about to make me a horseshoe pit at the crib. That's fire. Heck yeah. Right next to the fire pit. Yeah, dude. Slang some. I saw you here. Bitch. That was just stupid. You make those

sound effects for every game though. Oh yeah. It don't matter what it is. It's me playing Rocket League. Bitch! Stupid, man. This isn't really, like, a game so much as a thing. My dad used to do this thing to us called unrolly cannoli. What?

Like, unrolly cannoli. Yeah. They had, like, a king bed, and he'd he'd take like one of like a like the beach towels and roll us up tight as hell and then like you take the end and you flip it up and you just down the bed dude it was like it was the best thing ever like a good time oh yeah we would tire his ass out and you know, Anniver, my baby sister, my baby sister, you know, she was, like, the smallest and the lightest. She was spinning at, like, 200 RPM.

It was insane. Dude, like, she would just fly off the bed sometimes. Getting up and laughing her ass off. I't wait to um introduce that to my daughter they all uh rolly cannoli have we talked about the time that you fell through the railing at the beach house no i don't think so can we talk about that because it was one of the funniest moments of my life dude so walker and i we're at the um the family we'll just say the family beach house basically and uh we're sitting on the back porch cracking white claws fishing just having a good old time until about four o'clock in the morning yeah we're being environmentally conscious and a white claw can

rolls into the intercoastal yeah which will not stand yeah we're like oh absolutely not we will not litter into the intercoastal we care about the environment so walker and i are both leaning over this railing each of us with a kayak or paddle whatever you want to call it in our hands trying to scoop this god what a bad idea trying to scoop this can out of the water this cottage that we're staying in is probably what like 60 years old or something yeah i think it was built in the 40s yeah so like 75 years old when we were there um how many beers do you think you guys were in no less than 15 yeah i was probably 25 beers deep it was four o'clock in

the morning we were on the beach all day of course i, I was 20 plus deep. So, yeah. The railing was old. The entire railing rips off. We're on like different sides of the deck. And, yeah, my side, I'm leaning over. And the entire railing goes. And it's low tide. The deck sits over the water. So, the railing, you know, like multi it's it was a pretty cool

house it was it was built back in the 40s before like codes existed in like beach houses so part of like the livable area of the house is built over the water so they couldn't do renovations on it ever yeah so the deck was over the water we're both leaning over the whole railing gets ripped off walker goes flying into the water he's flailing he just lands like on his forearms his forearms are all sliced up he just stands up he's like holding his arms up he's just bleeding everywhere and i could not stop laughing dude it was it was low tide the the area I fell in had maybe like four to six inches of water, I'd say. And it's, you know, an oyster bed. So, yeah, from the deck, it's probably like four, I don't know, five feet.

Yeah, probably. Five foot drop on like my arms and knees onto an oyster bed. That just gave me chills, dude. I don't know. What about hearing oyster bed. That just gave me chills, dude. I don't know. What about hearing oyster bed? Oh, dude. So I get up, and I'm, it's immediate. I'm no longer drunk.

I'm dead sober. He's pissed. And I'm in a horrendous mood. He is pissed. And I'm just up there crying, laughing. Yeah, he can't even, like, talk. I'm like, Austin, get my slides. And he's like, what?

There's pieces of the railing that are floating around. I have to grab one so I can stand on it. Get my slides. Yeah, I'm barefooted in an oyster bed. My hand walker is slides. I'm like, Walker, do you think you can get the rest of the railing that's floating down the intercoastal right now? And he's like, yeah, I got it. But, dude, the worst part about it was, like, you know, oysters are fucking nasty.

And it was, like, all, like, you know, mucky and shit. So, like, all my cuts were, like, brown. And, like, there was, like, all this gunk in there. So we had to go in the bathroom. And I was like, I'm biting the pillow, buddy. I need you to go and dry and scrub this shit out. I scrubbed the shit out of his arms. And then we walked.

We're like, all right, fuck it. We're going to keep drinking. So we walked down to the beach, and we sit in one of the lifeguard stands and just drink White Claws until 7 o'clock in the morning. We go home and go to bed, and I'm like, oh, shit. I don don't have my phone so i had to go all the way back to the lifeguard tower to get my phone i come back his mom is awake and she's like what the fuck and i'm just laying in bed next to walker dying laughing and just like covering my face and she's like yeah you better cover your fucking face

this isn't funny i was like i'm sorry girl i can't dude i hit her with such a big switch because she went out and saw the railing so she storms in the bedroom and she's like what the fuck happened i'm like oh you know i had a little fall and she's like are you hurt did you like like fuck yourself up like let me see your back like, I got up and showed her my back. You know, it was a little sunburned, but nothing really wrong. She was like, oh, not bad. That's weird. And I was like, my arm's pretty fucked up, though.

You should see my arm. Yeah, Walker's just... Pieces of shit. Walker's being fucking hilarious, making jokes like that, and I'm expected not to laugh. I was being a big douchebag. I'm pissed drunk at 7 a.m. I took out my anger on my mother. One thing about Austin I've learned from being his friend and family member now is the motherfucker likes staying up until literally...

The cows come home. He likes staying up the entire night. You would think he's on hard drugs he really would he's just drunk he just doesn't want the night to end like an addy fiend or like yeah just you have like lines like just let going it's like i'm just doing speed all night but i'm not literally i just can't let the good time stop and that's a problem but he just can't go to bed psychologically you cannot turn it off like if it's a good time Why would I want it to end?

It's like you're not going to sleep until you're so exhausted that your body like Like you you start like just like you know drifted off. It's like hallucinating Yeah, no, it's a problem dude. I've been it's something I've been trying to work on But I just I haven't found a reasonable solution for that Like what am I supposed to do stop having a good time? It's crazy. Yes Yeah, you were you were supposed to you know in this sucks But like really dude so much about discipline is just being an adult and telling yourself no and it really sucks It's ass. It's like you like I just have to be at like And it's even like

3 a.m. That's absurd. You know know we shouldn't stay up until 3 a.m but it's like at 3 a.m i should be like all right i'm done it's time to go to bed 3 a.m is an early night yeah exactly that's a problem it's fucked it just depends on the environment like if you're just dangling in the living room with you and your boy 3 a.m is fucking late to me i mean unless yeah to me freaking 1 30 is late to me nah well you go to your i'm 8 30 bro you od on uh i'm 8 30 i don't do that no more melatonin melatonin it's to go to bed at 8 30 no dude i'm doing that sober but you you and your girl we're talking about like. That was like over a year ago. We went to bed at 630 tonight.

We went to bed before the sun went down. How did you do that? It's so fire. Half a bottle of melatonin. Nah, dude. That was. We have combined depression. Nah.

Y'all don't feel good getting in bed rubbing your feet together and just being like yeah i feel amazing doing that and doing that with my girl is amazing but it's like how like i like i can't go to bed like i'll go to i'll take a nap yeah we're not going in there and going immediately we're just getting in the getting in the bed and just freaking chilling sleeping your life away oh we don't probably go to sleep until like 8.30, 9. I need my sleep, bro. That's the thing. I'll gladly leave the party

because I also like going to sleep. I like going to bed. See, I could never leave the party. I can't. People are up doing shit. How do you go to bed? I'm fucking tired. I'm the complete opposite of Austin.

Austin would be the one that would stay up all night, drink all night. I'm the one falling asleep at the table. Literally. In the party. I have so many pictures of AJ asleep at the party. I've been asleep on the couch since 11. Sometimes I'll go out to AJ's house, and we'll have a fire. And every fucking time him and I are left alone at the fire, we go out there with a bunch of beers,

we drink almost all the beers, and then AJ lays on the ground and falls asleep at the fire. Every time. I have so many pictures of him sleeping at the fire. It's in the middle of nowhere. See, it's like the beer's running out. It's cold. For AJ, that's go to sleep time.

For Austin, it's time to go get more beers. I had to tell AJ to start being honest with me because he would lie to me. One time this motherfucker goes into his room or goes in the house. Kenzie's like, Austin, I come in behind them. He's like, apparently he tells Kenzie that he's going to pretend like he's all fucked up and has to go to bed. I walk in. Kenzie's like, Austin, what'd you do to him? He's all fucked up.

I'm like, damn, he's down bad. All right, well, I guess it's over. We don't have to go to bed. I walk in, Kenzie's like, Austin, what'd you do to him? He's all fucked up. Like, damn, he's down bad. All right, well, I guess it's over. We don't have to go back out there. Then apparently five minutes later, he goes in the room and he's like, oh, thank God. Fucking worked. We fooled him.

I can go to bed. Yeah, because I had to make, my pride couldn't look him dead in the face and tell him, Austin, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. So I had to fake act like i was fucking all fucked up and like couldn't about to throw up and shit and i had to go lay down and um and then i really i was just in there just fucking like hell yeah i'm about to get good

ass sleep i woke up next morning like yeah dude i just wanted to go to bed they're like should we show him the video should we show him the video and he's like no fuck video? And he's like, no, fuck off. Like, don't. Don't burn the loop. Yeah. I'm like, you're about to burn the loop. I'm like, now what do I do for the next time? Like, I can't. You're fucked next time.

If you ever act drunk again, I'm going to bed with you. Now I just have to. Beers in hand. Oh, you're not drunk anymore? You're good? Here's a beer for you, buddy. Now I just have to literally just tell him, like, dude, I'm out. Yeah, you can just be honest, you know?

And you have a kid, so you're just going to be a little bitch about it. And Austin. Oh, I got to go to bed. I have a kid. He's got to be – are you going to be one of those dads where it's like, you know, you get up at, like, 8 o'clock on vacation and they shame you for it? Like, oh, I've been up since the crack of dawn. He's going to be –

Wait, what do you mean get up at 8 o'clock on vacation? Like, you know, you get up at a reasonable time, like on vacation. 8 a.m.? Yeah, or like I'm just, you know, dads are going to be the first one up and they're going to let you fucking know about it. I've been up since 6 a.m. What have you guys been doing? Hungover as shit, dad.

What do you think I've been doing? We went to sleep around that time. I don't know. I think, I don't know. I'm the same guy as far as, my routine's a little bit different. Bullshit. Bullshit. My routine's different, and I have more, obviously, a lot more responsibility, but I'm still,

like, I understand. I'm, like, fucking awesome. You probably just went to bed. You're a fucking guy. You swear up and down. Before you had this kid, you swore up and down that when you have a child, nothing's going to change. Well, not nothing's going to change, but, like, I'm still going to be the same me.

You swore up and down that we would take priority over the kid, at least for the first couple of months. And you have not been holding up on that. I don't necessarily remember that, but he's like, my kid's going to be at the party. What are you talking about? Yeah. Have I missed the pod yet? No, but, like like i'm just saying keep going when when the um when the we'll see when the first party breaks out bro get her you're

gonna be in bed at 10 a.m get her some of those cute you're gonna you're gonna 10 p.m my bad you're gonna casually drink two beers and be in bed by 10 p.m i'm calling it that sucks no he's like bro i can't get, I can't get too fucked up. I got to make sure I can wipe an ass. Oh, dude. Yeah, doing that drunk would be fucking... I'm not tight enough. It ain't shit.

Hey, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Try wiping an ass off no sleep. I wipe my own ass off no sleep. That's worse. You want to know something crazy? Speaking about wiping asses, my first couple diapers I changed that were number two, I cleaned them, and then I had to take a shit. And I went, and I sat down, and I said, damn, I got to wipe my own ass too?

I said, this is fucking crazy. It's a feedback. It's an ass wiping loop. I'm just like, dude, what the fuck? Someone can't wipe my ass for me? That's crazy. That is crazy. That's why you gotta get a bidet.

I'm fucking, I don't understand how they work, and I'm not trying to try. The household ass-wiper, you're gonna be wiping Kenzie's ass before you know it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jack's ass. The cat's ass. You're just the house. The lizard's ass.

All you're good for is wiping ass i'm sure kenzie will probably be wiping my ass before i wipe hers probably yeah we talked about that the other day too it's crazy probably yeah i'd put your ass in a home you fucking you better come fucking see me you better come fucking see me when it's ass wiping wiping time. I'm going to do you like Tony Soprano. Is it bullshit? I'm going to have Austin take you out to lunch and I'll stash cash and guns in your closet. Please do. What?

You think it's bullshit to be put in a home? Not if I'm still cool and shit. You guys are fucking dicks. I'd be talking shit all the way to the damn home. Fuck you guys for this My grandma's been I'm fucking editing my will as we speak, bitch She's been in the same home for like 20 years

She's 95 This is like her third set of friends That are like It's like she's starting to go to the funerals Of her third set of friends That's crazy And dog But like she's starting to go to the funerals of her third set of friends. That's crazy. And, dog, but she's still slaying.

She's worked in the library for like, bro, I don't know if she gets down like that, but if she does, I know she's got a choice select, okay? This is one of the best nursing homes in Charlotte. Are you kidding me? Granny's getting it. She's got that old money. Granny's finding those old money hookups. She got the discounted rate 20 years ago, so now all the whales are filtering in.

She's grandmothered in. She's talking to 60-year-olds going, are you trying to take this for a spin? My chair just blew out. Damn. That's crazy, though. All of her friends just die all the time. my chair just blew out god damn but dude that's crazy though yeah all of her friends just die all the time it's so depressing talking to her because you know it doesn't even like

bother at this point but she's like what are you doing this week funeral then funeral funeral funeral losing a friend is just like making one for her yeah it's like minimum a funeral every other week. That's stupid. It's horrible.

It's fucking horrible. That's a miserable life. Doctors appointments and funerals, man. Yeah, no, she refuses to take medicine. She's like the only 95-year-old possibly in the world that doesn't take any medicine. But the trade-off is we have to rush her to the hospital three to four times a year to get, like, hemoglobin injections or some shit like that.

Dude, I had to take her to the hospital one time at, like, 9 o'clock at night, like, after a shift. And we stayed there until 4 in the morning. God dang. And they saw her for four minutes and they're like yeah she's fine bring her back tomorrow i was like you fucking asshole no way it's just it's like you can't leave because she's fucking 95 and if you leave she could croak on the way out the door if if you leave she's dying in the car yeah um yeah dude at least that's what my anxiety tells me my my grandma's fair thought my grandma's

getting up there too and it's it's fucked up but um she sent me some money the other day via check and i'm like damn i'm thinking i better get around cashing this motherfucker because you know once they start getting up there i'm'm like, I don't want to have to deal with, you know, what if I go to cash it in 10 months and something happened? Or, you know, or what if I forget to cash it and then next year, like, say, you know, she's up there in age. She's high 90s. I'm like, shit could happen.

And he fucking, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you better cash that puppy. Dude, shoot. Funds might be seized stop bullshit to get it done with she wrote me a hundred dollars it is fucked up on my 21st birthday and i i cashed it doing like the mobile deposit and when i cashed it you know she writes in the cursive and all that when i cashed it it was like deposit seven hundred dollars into your account i was like would she notice i mean you know like she's taken care of right yeah it's all good but i pressed no i had to rescan it it's like you know those double bottles of woodbridge aren't gonna buy themselves

that's her woodbridge she She's crazy, dude. Like, my mom sent me on a shopping list for one time, and on the list was two double bottles of Woodbridge Chardonnay. And it is a terrible wine. I was like, Mom, can we get her something nicer? And she's like, no, no, that's how she gets down. She's drinking double bottles of chardonnay all the time she uh she's absolutely terrified of cockroaches so she

keeps about four or five bottles of raid in her apartment and every morning she'll go out to her porch and spray raid for like two or three minutes that's insane spraying it all over her apartment i think she's just preserved her inside so far that she will never die. She's like beef jerky now. And, you know, her moisture content is so low that it's like, you know, the cells can't even move, let alone age. So she's just locked in for life. I think so. She's a living mummy. Ladies, if you're looking for health tips,

Raid Cockroach Spray and Woodbridge Chardonnay have done my grandmother well. The Woodbridge Chardonnay is surprising because your grandma's kind of bougie. I know. I'm surprised she's not drinking top shelf $300 bottles of wine or some shit. I don't think I've ever seen my grandma without pantyhose, a skirt, and like a shirt and like a jacket. And like 10K in jewelry on. Yeah, exactly. She's just like a, you know, it's like if she's going out of the house, like she's buttoned up.

She's getting done up. She's like, give me the cheap shit. She's not even. Yeah, fuck it. I can't taste it anyway dude speaking of uh cockroaches yesterday yesterday night i heard kenzie scream fucking bloody murder while in the shower and i knew it was something serious because i never heard her scream like that in a very very long time i go in there it's one of them fucking, in North Carolina, they're really random.

I don't know what the technical name of those cockroaches. Like the big ass fucking. The big ones. Yeah. The biggins. It was in our shower. We had one in our shower. We probably get like maybe like in a whole year,

we'll probably see like two to three just random ones in the crib. I don't know how they get in, but they do. And, dude, she screamed just so fucking loud. It was insane. And I just go in there and kill it. No big deal. Flush down to it. And she's, like, literally about to start crying.

I'm like, jeez. Can it swim back up the toilet? I don't think so. She's dead. I'm like, I don't know for sure what they're capable of, but I don't think he's dead. He's dead. Dude, we had a roommate in college like that. He would scream and cry over cockroaches.

Jesus. It's crazy. I'd have to get in the shower and kill his cockroaches, too. Dude, and so we had one of those beer wall setups where it know, where it's just like a bunch of old like beer cases like taped on the wall. And apparently cockroaches love cardboard. And he started living downstairs and he said like they would just like drop out of the ceiling. Oh, yeah. Sometimes.

They come out of nowhere. Oh, dude. It was awesome. It was awesome. What a time. It's crazy because in Michigan, if you got got roaches, like, your house is absolutely, you are fucking filthy. Yeah, you're infested.

You're infested. But in North Carolina, like, oh, yeah, a little cockroach, no worries. Dude, when we first moved to North Carolina, we lived in an apartment, and we lived above this El Salvadorian family. And, dude, they did not keep their apartment very clean. So, like, they had food and just, like, shit everywhere. And they had, like, like shit everywhere and they had like a cockroach infestation it was terrible and like they would start the cockroaches started

coming up to our apartment and we're like oh fuck no something's got to change like come handle this shit you guys need to clean your dirty ass apartment it's pretty gross it is gross yeah and you said like um because my girl's from the north, and she was, like, you know, we saw a cockroach around here, and, you know, it freaked her out. So, like, in the north, if you get cockroaches, like, it's over. No, like, you might want to move. Like, if you got roaches, like, you lift something up, roaches scatter.

Like, because they're smaller, though. They're not like, you know, like North Carolina. They're like, they're big. You know, like the ones on the front porch during the summer? They're fucking big. Yeah. Michigan, they're smaller, and there's like, there'll be thousands of them. Like, if you got one, there's like thousands, bro. Like, literally.

Yeah, like here, it's like, we always have had roaches, but it's not like a big deal. You know, like they come, it's almost like a seasonal thing. Yeah. For sure. Like, when it rains, they come inside, or they try to get in. Shit like that. deal. You know like they come it's almost like a seasonal thing Yeah, for sure like when it rains they come inside. Yeah, try to get in Yeah, fuck them roaches dude apparently roaches when they like touch a human They'll run off and clean themselves. They're like extremely like cleanly creatures get the dirty human shit off me honestly, and you know Humans are gross

Something happens when they die too i think they release like an odor or something like that and then i don't quote me but something does happen if you kill one and leave it there like something happens like to the if there's other ones they like get weirded out or some shit i don't know what happens i found three stink bugs in our house this week and it's stressing me out stink bugs are bugs are the fucking worst. I may be really nervous. And ladybugs. I found three of them in one day. I was like, oh no.

I hate. Stink bugs are the fucking worst. I fucking hate stink bugs. I don't like ladybugs. So I don't know if we need to spray or some shit. I don't like ladybugs. What? They smell like ass.

I'm saying they smell like ass. They're hard to kill. Why do you need to kill them? They eat aphids. They're great for plants, bro. I don't know how they get in. I'd like to kill. Why do you need to kill them? They eat aphids. They're great for plants, bro. I don't know how they get in. I'd like to know. I'd like to put, like, hidden cameras that are, like, very, like, specific that, like, could see, like, could track, like, where a bug came in.

I'd like to see, like, where this motherfucker really came in at type shit. Because, you know, in, like, in your house, like. Bro, that would be, be like a fire business idea, bro. We're Orkin, but we have little ant drones that'll like, you know, assimilate with the colony and like find in where they're coming in and out.

We're going to find these fucking, you just got to think like, I mean like in your house, like you probably know, like I know in this house a little different cause it's a little older, but like in my house, like I pretty much know all the potential spots where a fucking insect or some shit could come in at, right? And it's just, like, how are they coming?

You try to, like, how, bro? This house, every spot is a potential spot. Dude, like, there's just random holes that are drilled through the floor into, like, the unfinished basement. It's, like. That has a foot of water. Yeah, it just has, like, standing water in it sometimes. There's a fucking largemouth bass down there. Dude, we could have one of the eel pits going,

like that dude on TikTok. All right, dude, get me the fuck out of here. I'm calling it. Yeah, I got to go back to work. Okay, yeah, these guys are on their lunch. We're all on our lunch break. Just decided to do a middle-of-the-day pod, but yeah, we got to go.

Yeah, it was fun, guys. Pleasure as always. Any final thoughts? Final thoughts, no. We have to get Walker out of here before he gets fired. Me and the girl are coming to see the baby this weekend. I'm excited. Oh, yeah.

That's exciting. Austin's ditching us, too. Yeah, I'm going to Charlotte, going snowboarding. Going to have a good time. I'll see you there. Thanks for listening to another episode of the always laugh podcast my name is austin lane my name is aj next time you see austin he'll be coming off a bender my name's walker we out love you everyone