Always Laugh Podcast - Pod #6 - Walker Wants to be in a Megan Thee Stallion Video

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

This episode we talk about walker selling feet pics, Aj lying about something really bad, and Walker has knees like Megan. Hosted By: Austin Lane (@austinlane_fit), AJ Allen (@ajnotalex), and Walker Smith Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNegdIXrzsdQxLPjeWsKww Follow us on all socials @alwayslaughpodcast

Walker, would you sell your feet pigs? Absolutely. How much would you charge per toe? Welcome back to the Always Laugh Podcast. This is your host, Walker Smith. I've got my two guests today. Introduce yourself, fellas. Welcome back to the Always Laugh Podcast.

My name's Austin Lane. My name's AJ. I am Walker, the pseudo-intell intellectual smith suit what does that even mean pseudo intellectual that means like you uh you're like fake smart oh you said pseudo yeah you like pontificate like you're smart but you're uh you're not actually smart so like me and this is the number one podcast you've never heard of before number one podcast you've never heard of. I'm two for six. Two for six.

Not bad, not bad. How is everyone? Fucking great, dude. I'm having a lovely day. How are you? I'm doing pretty good, man. Just got a promotion at work, kind of. Hell yeah. That basically means I have more

work and more responsibilities. Was the pay raise good? No. There was no pay raise. It wasn't an official promotion. I just pretty much have more work now. Sounds like a really great promotion, Walker. Hey, I'm being rude.

Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations. Cheers to that, fellas. Cheers. Cheers to Walker's promotion. Congrats, Walker. Cheers. Cheers. Ghost cheer, AJ. Touch you. Congratulations. Cheers to that. Cheers to Walker's promotion. Congrats. Walk. Cheers.

Cheers. Ghost. Yeah. AJ. No. Touch that motherfucker. All right. Yeah.

Good. Good shit, guys. Oh, fuck. Walker, this is usually the part where you like you start the conversation because I don't know what to talk about. So. Okay. So don't let me down.

All right. AJ, do you have any notes? No, I don't have any notes this time. I am very unprepared. It's like the whole thing where it's like a failure to prepare is preparing to fail. Yeah. So we're failing this week. This week went by really fast,

dude. AJ got his phone taken away this week. He's in timeout because of his actions on the last podcast. AJ, what are your rules that you're supposed to abide by this week? I heard you had some rules coming into this podcast given by your wife. I mean, fiance,

my bad. She laid the law down a little bit, but yeah, we had to talk about them in the car. Have a group discussion on that. Group of two discussion. I got to refrain from saying anything controversial. That's good. You need at least a week off after last week.

I'm sorry. After that nurse-hating tirade you went on last week. Nurse-hating exam. to that nurse hating tirade you went on last week it was a nurse hating exam what you i heard all nurses should be wiped out and you hate them specifically because they're women aj you're already failing rule number one you're in the middle of a controversial conversation i can't speak on this talk to my lawyer but anyway talk to my publicist i i uh my media team has trained me not to talk about this you have a whole ass publicist now kenzie is literally your publicist yeah um no controversial stuff i can't talk about what were the other things i already forgot oh yeah no interrupting as you

can see i ain't said a damn thing like i've listened to to Walker's whole speech over there. Congrats on getting promoted, by the way. Well, thanks, dude. Thanks for not interrupting, too, while I interrupt you. There was another thing. There was something that was... My bad, dog.

Fuck. What was the other thing? The less F words. No, fuck think that was... Oh, fuck that! That's a general... So I want to talk about this for a second. Okay. I live in relative bliss

from the reality of putting content out on social media, which is that people are going to say mean things to you. Yeah. And AJ decided to take away my innocence a little bit today, and he showed me a Facebook comment. And it said something along the lines of, I don't even remember the first part. AJ, do you mind saying it for me? Yeah, it was, can I read it it can I just read it pull it up real

quick it was I don't want to misquote this great person who said stories the story's going really bad so far hold on bad story bad bad bad story hold on we'll cut this it's worth the we're not cutting shit this all getting cut we need everybody to see we need everybody to know the truth basically they said um how about next time don't break your window out, you moron? No, no. Babe, can I just see my phone? I'm getting mad. Thank you.

AJ, don't get mad. Get glad. We're glad we're. Oh, fuck. Beat Walker to his own joke. I'm going to read it off. We're cutting. I just want to see how long we can be silent on the podcast today.

Okay, right here, right here, right here. Are you ready? So this person on Facebook said to Walker because Walker, what were you saying, Walker? You don't have a social media presence and you. Yeah, so I'm really insulated from all the uh negativity out there okay and this person wanted to show their ass can we restart and yeah let's restart we're cutting can we can we can we restart from the very beginning yep the podcast

i'm just kidding we don't have to do that but this is bored like I'm on the podcast and I'm bored out of my fucking mind right now I like that I think I'm like oh we got it we're trying to be yeah our publicist gave us way too many rules this week we can't we're walking on eggshells over here fuck it come on say something controversial AJ we need it We're walking on eggshells over here. Oh, shit. Nope, nope. Fuck it.

Come on, say something controversial, AJ. We need it. It's the only way we can. This person said, you don't know what to do. Try not saying fuck so often, period. Moron, period. So Walker's just a big-ass moron. AJ stripped away my innocence.

And Walker also got another interesting... Name that person. Who was it? Yeah, call him out. Yeah, huh. I got some shit to say. Okay, this is how I know it's like a fake account. It's Hosokat Hosokat.

Hosokat Hosokat, I got a message for you. I hope everything in your life improves to where you're not making hateful comments on the internet anymore. Wow, that was a very nice way of putting that. I do want to address the person who did ask Walker for unsolicited feet pics. We do not approve of that. I don't know. If we can make some extra bread off of it, I think we should sell it.

They were unsolicited, fam. What? Cover them daddies up. Cover them dogs up. Yeah, we don't give those out for free. We're not going to get no views. I'm on my FDR shit this week. Walker, would you sell your feet pics?

Absolutely. How much would you charge per toe? How much do I pay? No, how much would you? per toe how much do i pay or no how much would you i'd pay like ten dollars you would pay ten dollars for people to look at your toes yeah oh how much is the piece you just want people to look at your fucking toes i've heard of i heard about this one guy and he would get a pedicure every month and like you know shave his toes and everything and make him look real nice, paint him up and everything. And then he would pretend that they were women's feet and sell his feet pics. And he would just like re up all the pictures like once a month. And he would do like some wild shit, like, you know, wrapping his toes around like different stuff.

And like what? Like wrapping his toes around, like, different stuff. Like what? Like wrapping his toes around? If the blue collar stuff ever doesn't pan out. Yeah. I'm wrapping my toes around a Twisted Tee Can. Oh, baby. That is foul as fuck.

I've had a nightmare similar, very similar to that, actually. I'm going to open a Twisted G can with my foot. I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. I've died in almost every dream I've had this week. It just got real ratchet in here. I think I've just seen a fly. What? Something just came buzzing by my shit.

You smell funny, probably. Check the cameras. It's like those cartoons. Check your upper lip, AJ. I want to... Before we started recording the pod tonight, we were sitting on the front porch, and AJ's over there. The listeners aren't going to get this,

but he's over there scrunching up his face like this. I'm like, what the hell are you doing, buddy? He's like, I'm smelling my own face because sometimes when i eat certain food it gets really weird smelling yeah dude i know i'm not the only bearded man out here that when you eat a certain food i haven't narrowed it down yet if it's like cheese dairy i don't know what it is, but you got to go wash your face, man. You got to make sure your face is on the sink, number one. Number two, you might have to go scrub.

Scrub it up. And even then, sometimes it don't work, you might have to take a shower. The shower usually will clear it up for you. But AJ, the thing you said to me that really just blew me away. I know it does not make sense. I know it don't make sense. You'll wash your face and actually wash your beard. But if you just get the shower and let water run over you, you're good. You're good.

You're good. I don't know if the steam helps. It's in your mind, man. No, bro. It's in your mind. It doesn't work when you're just doing a little bird bath over the sink. You got to get fully showered, bro. Hey, ping pong Paul, boy.

Ping pong Paul, ping pong me? Yeah, pick a side. I like listening to both of you guys. What you know about taking birdbaths? We've all been down bad before. Like with a hose? Walker and Irvin. Are you guys talking about a ho-bath?

No, a birdbath, man. Ho-bath? Just like a birdbath. You go in the bathroom and you grab some paper towels. Oh? No, a bird bath, man. A bird bath. You go in the bathroom and you grab some paper towels. That's a hoe bath? Yeah, a hoe bath. That's controversy. The only reason I call it that is because I was in Florida once.

I support sex workers. You're a fucking asshole, bro. It has nothing to do with sex workers. AJ's really eager to get the controversy shifted off of him. This has nothing to do with sex workers. AJ's really eager to get the controversy shifted off of him. Well, like, this has nothing to do with sex workers. I was in Miami with some friends, and I was waiting for so damn long to use this bathroom in this hotel lobby, and these girls, I knock on the door,

and I can hear, like, a bunch of girls in there, and it was, like, a single room, bathroom, whatever. And I, like, knock on the door, and I'm like, I got to pee bad, and it was like a single room bathroom whatever and i like knock on the door i'm like i gotta pee bad and they're like i'm so like we're so sorry like we're in here taking hobas and i was like i just i i didn't know what to say i just froze and they were like we'll be we'll be out soon i'm assuming a hobath is just like taking like clean yourself up in the yes scrubbing the pits down, I'm guessing. Scrubbing the important areas.

Among other things, probably. I used to work in a restaurant. One of the most interesting things I saw as a busboy was we had to clean the bathrooms at the end of our shift. And I walked into, I knocked on the ladies' bathroom, didn't hear anything, so I walked in. It was like a single-user bathroom. There was a woman completely naked except for like four inch tall high heels on the toilet. Wait, you walked in when she was in there naked? Well, she was on the toilet.

But she was just, she had take, because like I guess she was wearing like a, I don't know, a dress that you had to take off to, you know. So she was completely naked on the toilet except for her high heels. And I just like looked at her And I looked away And I was like oh my god I'm so sorry And I just like ran out and shut the door Is that a hoe bath? I think that was just a hoe taking a shit Okay

That's different though That's different then That was different Walker that was It might have been a homeless person on drugs I don't think she was homeless He was serving her Walker, that was... It might have been a homeless person on drugs. I don't think she was homeless. He was serving her. I mean, the dress that was on the thing was very nice.

Oh, fuck. She had Versace on the floor. She might have had a shit. Oh, my. I can just... Imagine being in her shoes. You're at a Cajun restaurant. It's bad enough you take the dress off,

and you're hunkered down and somehow you forget to lock the door and some random busboy walks in. That's literally the stuff of nightmares. You're just in your high heels taking a dookie. Walker walks in. We're 11 years old. Taking a shit with high heels on I'm sure is similar to using a squatty potty. I was literally picturing that the entire time you were talking.

Dude, fuck pushing the trash can underneath me. I'm just going to pull in a pair of high heels. Do you push the trash can underneath you? Yeah, yeah. Like when you're down bad. When I'm down bad, sometimes you got to hike the legs up. You know what I'm saying? Oh, God.

What if you got them all the way up on the toilet seat like if you're like really down bad like get them up here like this oh oh hell i don't think my body works like that aj's got the acl his needle doesn't bend that way my knee brace i don't think kenzie's enjoying our content this week. She's just been mean mugging the shit out of us. Look, we just actually got rid of our squatty potty because that thing's a scam. It doesn't work. It 100% works.

No, it don't. My big ass. Imagine my big ass in here with fucking knees to chest just fucking taking a shit. It don't work. Well, I mean, I can't cite any evidence but anecdotally 100 i had a friend tell me once if you're struggling to uh get your uh get your poop out you just like wrap your arm around like your opposite leg like this and like bend over and just like he calls it the arm bar so like if you ever are really struggling and if you're like really really struggling you hit the

double arm bar like this shut up i swear he said it works for him every single time i've tried it it didn't really work for me but i could see it working if i ever walked in your double arm bar aj buddy's in there sucking himself off all right damn it aj when I said your name, I was trying to push the eject button on that conversation, and you made it so much worse. So much worse. All right, AJ. I'm walking on eggshells over here. What's a pet peeve that you experienced today?

Today? Like what's one of your like... Oh, shit. Jesus. My pet. What's one of your like Oh shit Jesus My bad What's one of your like Pet Alright pause

Pause Alright go ahead My bad My fault My fault A pet peeve I'm panicking Yeah what's like a pet peeve

Of yours that you experienced today I can give you an example Yeah yeah sure I hate when people Drive in the left lane When they have an exit coming up just to get to the front of the line, and then they cut in the right lane and then cut in the exit. If you've ever driven on Wade Avenue, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

AJ, what's yours? My biggest pet peeve today would be negativity, I think, dude. You experienced some negativity today? Yeah, man. It's a nice day out. Let's all be positive. Let's be nice. I respect that, yeah.

ELE, everyone love everyone. And that gets me into something else now. I'm just playing. We don't got to talk about everyone love everyone. Why? I don't know. Do you know what that is? Everyone love everyone? Yeah. Where that came from?

I know everyone hates Chris. Oh my god. Do you remember... Do I want to talk about this right now? I don't know. I guess we'll find out. Do you remember... My publicist says I can tell it.

You know what I'm talking about? Huh? Alright, that's a bet. I'm not going to get canceled. Kenzie, don't forget to use your mic. It's a funny story if he tells it with his whole heart. Tell it with your whole heart.

Do you guys remember? Was it on MTV? There was a show on MTV probably about, what, 2010? Nine? AJ's years are very off. I would say 2006. No. We did that shit in high school.

It doesn't matter when it was. Just tell the story. Let's just say anywhere between 2009 and 2012. All right. There was a show on MTV called Challenge Day. Y'all don't know anything about this? I can't remember. It was where this group...

I'm from the age group where MTV was just music. Just Rob Dudek? No, not just music, just shows. Yeah, just ridiculousness. Just ridiculousness. But listen, there was a show called challenge day and there was this group of people that would come to these schools and hold like these therapy sessions essentially and like it was like the step forward if you grew up in a single parent household take another step

of you i know you're talking about had a parent doing drugs like whatever it is you've seen that before yeah yeah i've seen it how you feel about that interesting yeah yeah you it makes you more aware of your surrounding on who's dealing with the same shit as you right right yeah it's supposed to like bring you together with your classmates like it makes you like feel like you're not it's like an anti-bullying like challenge day like so like they they put you they came to our school bro they came to our school and their whole thing was like everyone so like they they put you they came to our school bro they came to our school and their whole thing was like everyone loved everyone they just make you like this everyone loved everyone and so that hugs and shit that obviously went terrible right oh it went

it went terrible for me because i got a funny story behind it. Tell the story. Damn. So they put us into these. I want to hear this shit. Come on. When Challenge Day came to my school, they put us in these peer groups, right? Like a group of like six people. And everyone had to go around the circle and share like a trauma story or something that really affected them in their life growing up. And I was the fucking last one in the group to say something right five people didn't went and every single one of them just started

crying everything about these stories bro and in my head i'm like i'm a single child single parent household just poor out in the country like lived a normal life a boring life and uh i couldn't think of nothing like it sounds fucked up but like i couldn't think of shit that would make me cry right here and right then and there in front of these people that was like so traumatic that would make me cry so i made up something and fake cried yeah i said what was your story what did you say oh bad i said uh i said by uh by uh my neighbor like like my neighbor in the country was like a mile down the road that he got hit by a car it's fucked up he's he's straight to this day shout out shame bro he's good yeah i said he got hit by a car and started crying i'm daring about the crying out why

literally why are you crying i don't know because i'm like i was lying at the time but it's fucked up you shouldn't wish death on nobody um but i had to come up with a story bro to um you didn't want to tell him yeah the worst thing that ever happened to me Was I threw a tuna fish sandwich At the wall Yeah Like Like they're all crying You're like

I had to make some shit up But look I had to make some shit up And fake cry And then I'm getting all these hugs From girls And this and that I'm like

I'm going crazy Like I gotta lie more often It's really working out for me I'm gonna show you The episode of Community You are literally Donald Glover on Community And then look

And then after that, this was in the Facebook era where Facebook was still, like, new. Everyone's writing on my wall, I love you. Like, everyone said I love you to each other. Like, that was a new normal. Like, everyone said I love you so much. ELE, like, that was a fucking thing. Everyone was saying they love you, this and that.

Like, you were supposed to get 12 hugs a day. What was it, this? Jesus. Like, were supposed to get 12 hugs a day what was it this jesus like this they they said 12 hugs a day dude 12 hugs a day that's a lot of hugs that's i feel like you got to get like consent uh we just had a little hug session. Hell yeah. For those of you guys that couldn't see that. But long story short. That air hug was boss. I lied at challenge day. My bad, guys. If you are wearing my circle, my fault. Do you think you've become less of a shitty person since then?

I wasn't being a shitty person, dude. I just didn't want to seem like the privileged Fucking kid who ain't had nothing hard In his life You should have just been like nah my life's straight I think you could have came up with some fucked up shit though That's what I'm saying like I know I know about your life

AJ I've had a lot of shit AJ's just like yeah I have fucked up shit I don't give a fuck I'm saying like yeah my fucking My daddy's smoking smoke crack don't you he'd just rather keep it a secret yeah he didn't want anybody to know what the real shit my dad going to prison smoking crack gambling addiction fucking drug user that ain't shit i actually thrive in that environment he's like all the bad shit was good shit fucking you guys can't handle

a little divorce you guys are pussies i feel that they're all like my mom and dad got like people like people like are your parents are your parents still together i'm like no they divorced when i was like or they split up when i was like seven they're like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm like what what motherfucker i got two christmases like why are you sorry like i'm sorry like bro divorce was lit shit was a different parents different rules more christmases more birthdays it's like having a sleepover every night because you're at a new place all the time that's interesting i've never heard of like i mean you know maybe i'll just captain for the podcast but like do you like actually no cap you like take a lot of positives from like

having both situations or like yeah i only had one i mean like i yeah yeah i i enjoyed it personally because like i would get super fucking pissed off at my dad and then the next day i'm going to my mom's and then vice versa so it's like if i were really pissed off all i had to do was like hunker down for a day and then i'm straight also walker probably doesn't realize when your parents are divorced it's because they don't get along so you don't want to hell it was around when they were together yeah i just always But like more importantly Two Christmases Two birthdays Like presents out the ass So you got blessed

My dad used to just come around On any Like if an event was happening Like it's my birthday He'd come around three weeks late Talking about I got you something son If you want something

Late ass I'm gonna come around and shit Got me this weak ass skateboard you know this ain't the right one this is fucking Walmart fucking Walmart

trying to be present you got the stiff trucks you fucked me over bro the slow ass bearings fucking wheels barely spin the reason I say skateboard cause I was fucking I was nice

I'm not even gonna brag I was sponsored in skateboarding as a kid you mean you are gonna you mean you are gonna brag no I'm alright I'm saying like I'm not even going to brag. I was sponsored in skateboarding as a kid. You mean you are going to brag? No. All right.

I'm saying I'm not being ungrateful. I'm being for real. He knew I was fucking good at skateboarding, and he knew he was buying me the fucking wrong one. You were sponsored. Did you say you were sponsored? Yeah, bro. Local skate shop in Jackson, bro. They give you shit?

X Riders. Yeah. Yeah. I got one free board And a couple trucks And they went out of business Damn And I got a shirt

And merch I got merch Why'd they go out of business Cause skate shops Cannot survive bro I don't even know The ones We

Luckily we I support skateboarding To this day I wish they would Open up more skate parks In more bigger cities Everywhere Cause it's good for the kids but

if you have a skate shop mostly most of the skateboarders i've met mostly just do drugs and drink dude that's that's that's the culture i'm kidding that is the culture what it used to be these new kids are doing it as a sport but listen if you have a skate shop in a small town it's honestly unfortunate because they it's just there's not enough business to go around. But somewhere like Raleigh or like Apex, booming. They went out of business sponsoring your ass. Man, Vertical Urge has been around Raleigh forever. Vertical Urge?

What's that? I used to go to that skate shop. That's where I bought my skateboard. Why have I never heard of that? I've heard of Endless Grind. I think it's closed. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, I think it is closed.

It turned into Endless Grind. What, next to Dollar General? On Six Forks? No, Endless Grind is right here. And there's Apex Board Shops, and that's really it. Vertical Urge is North Raleigh. I drove past there not too long ago. This doesn't matter at all.

Yeah. Bro, I moonlighted as a skateboarder for a solid two, three weeks during elementary school. And I really realized I was destined for the path of the ripstick. Oh, my God. That's a path I traveled long and hard. i learned a lot of life lessons on the rip stick you know you got to move your hips back and forth and back and forth and that's one of the things i attribute to my insane hip fluidity i want to put this out there now one of my i've added a eighth list an eighth item to the 2023 resolution list did i miss the other two editions or three editions do i only have five i think your elbow creases gain

40 lose 40 get fired what are all those what else i want to be in a mega nostalgia video i could see it. Are your knees ready? Walker, I've been saying this for months. You are a black girl at heart. And I mean that with the utmost respect and positivity. He is. What does that mean?

Meg, if you're listening. It means he can shake his damn ass. Listen, I'm like a... Was that insensitive? His hips are like Keisha. Was that bad? Because there's a specific reason I'm saying that. We'll insert the video.

White people as a whole culturally have no rhythm. Right, and Walker does. Walker can shake his ass. White people as a whole have no culture, too. Yes, they've unfortunately taken every... They've tried to take over. Okay, I'm done. No, they have.

Good job, AJ. Let's get in the weeds. Day number 4... Day number 937 still can't smoke weed legally in North Carolina. date number 400 day number day number 937 still can't smoke

legally in North Carolina but I can buy seven twisted two C's and a pack of Newports damn right damn right one guess

I want a pack of Newports Austin's phone in my fiance's Newports used to have like a little menthol ball in there? Nah, that's the Camel Crush, buddy. It's the Camel Crush. We know too well.

Damn it. Kenji, Kenji. We just outed ourselves. When you look up Newport menthols, I think there was also a Newport version that you could switch. Hey, if you, I'm going to put this out there. If any cigarette smokers are listening, if you smoke any cigarette in a soft pack, you are criminal and deserve to be in jail. Soft pack cigarettes should not exist. What are soft pack cigarettes?

They come in a fucking soft pack. It's like a paper pack. It ain't hard. I think they're cheaper. Yeah. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't know. Just imagine your cigarettes being rolled up in a piece of paper. I think they're cheaper. Yeah. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't know.

Huh. Just imagine your cigarettes being rolled up in a piece of paper. I didn't know Nike sponsored Newport. That's lit. What? Look at that. Flip that pack upside down. That's a Nike swoosh.

That is 100% a Nike swoosh. That's wild. We're going to pull that up on the screen. Wait, wait, wait. Kenji, Kenji, Kenji. Press curl, alt, up arrow. Huh? Kenzie, Kenzie, Kenzie. Press curl alt up arrow. Huh? Curl, control alt.

Curl? I thought you was talking about your mama. Control alt up. What the hell is this going to do? Fall wallpaper. Fall wallpaper. Walker, what the hell do you have her on right now? I was trying to get her to flip the screen upside down.

Oh. You were trying to do some fancy shit. All right, fuck this. Cut all this shit. This is some bullshit. We can't just cut everything. We can't cut everything, Walker. They're taxing.

This podcast is going to be 15 minutes long. This podcast. This is the best pod we've ever recorded. Hell yeah. It is. We're straight. Why are you holding your mic like that? I fucking told my challenge day story. Why are you holding your mic like that? I fucking told my challenge day story.

Why are you touching your mic like that? I told my challenge day story. I've been holding on to that fucker for years. For years? Yeah. For years? I couldn't out myself in high school. Fuck, they'd all look at me like I'm a bitch.

Everybody's going to be like, all your three high school friends that follow you right now. I have zero high school friends. Fuck all you bitch ass motherfuckers. But besides Dom, Darren, and that's it. Can I bring something up? Okay. And that's on everything.

I want to put a new rule in place for AJ on the podcast. What? You can't mention anyone you've met. I said first names. Before the age of 17. Okay. Wait, no of 17. Okay. Wait, no, no, no. 15.

No, bro. Because you... Fuck, I met Kenzie fucking sophomore year of high school. You were 15 right about? I was getting active.

What's... I was a senior. Jesus. it? What? I was a senior. Jesus. Huh? Cradle robber. You are not no damn senior. Wait, Robin, the cradle. I'm only sophomore.

No, no, no. I'm only I'm one year older than her. Relax. I think he means sophomore in college. You are a sophomore. He was a freshman in college But he got kicked out so technically Alright

Walker can you like chug your tweet or something I need some action I'm getting bored over here again Get activated please Oh man I had such high hopes for myself this podcast And I really just feel like I've Just taken a deuce on it.

Why? Cheers. Pimps up. All is down. If the bitch can't swim, she's just going to drown. You guys can talk about your family's meeting. So this past weekend was Super Bowl Sunday, and we hosted a little Super Bowl party at our house.

Isn't that right, Walker? We did that, didn't we? Yes. I live here, too. You don't fucking live here. Shut yo. Shut yo, little. Shut yo.

Fucking potato head looking ass. Boy, if you don't shut yo, Matthew McConaughey wannabe weird ass boy. I'll take that. You mean one of the most attractive men in Hollywood? Wannabe. Damn right. I said wannabe. Pump the brakes, pal.

So, yeah, we had a little super. 50-year-old man is not the most attractive in Hollywood. I said one of. Come on. Everyone knows it's Justin Bieber. Anyway, we had a little Super Bowl party at our house this weekend. His family was here. My family was here.

And they met each other. For the first time. We're talking like we're a couple. We're a couple in our families. You guys are in eight years of friendship. Our family met for the first time. Yeah, what the fuck? Hold on.

No, no, no, no. I just thought of this. They have been, Austin and Walker have been friends for like literally what, 10 years? Let me break it down. And you mean to tell me they just met two days ago for a 20 minute interaction? Yeah. So this really gets into the story, the inception of me and Austin's friendship. You guys are like incognito friends?

Well, Austin and, you know know god bless him for it it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me austin basically forced friendship upon me for sure and it was only in you didn't give him much choice by um it was only it was only upon... What? What did you just say? He won't leave me alone. I'm sorry for interrupting. Don't fucking listen to that. I'm about to get disrespectful.

Walker, finish your shit. I'm about to get real disrespectful this morning. I force my friendship upon Walker. Oh, yeah. So, Austin would only come to my house for years. He would never invite me to his place, and I would come and pick him up and shit like that. Never got the invite in.

I remember the first time I walked into his house, it was eye-opening. Can you kind of say something? That story was... Lori had grown wings. No. And she was hanging-opening. Can you kind of say something? That story was... Lori had grown wings. No. And she was hanging from the ceiling. She had talons. She reached out and enveloped me.

Sounds unrealistic. In high school, Walker did not want to be my friend at all. He really, really refused me. He was like... Well, it wasn't just you. It was just, like, my overall disposition. I was like. Well, it wasn't just you. It was just like my overall disposition. I was like, dude, can we just go to lunch together? And he's like, nah, not feeling it.

And then one day I said, fuck this shit. I'm coming with you. Like, you don't have a choice. I literally followed him to his car, got in his vehicle, and I was like, all right, where are we going? He's like, I was just planning on going home. I'm like, take me. Let's see what home's like. And we went to his home and we never looked back.

We've been hanging out ever since then. One of the best sober times I've ever had with you. The second half of our senior year, we had a class right after lunch with Miss Dots or whatever. Yeah. It was our English class. And one time we went home. My mom made us both New York strip steaks on the grill because we walked in. She was like, do you want steak?

And I was like, yeah. So we sat around. We walk into class halfway through it. We're like 45 minutes late. Oh, yeah. We've had a nice steak meal. She made like a nice little potato dish on the side. Unbelievable.

And we walk in and sit down, and we're just like in that. I felt like I was drunk. Looking back, I'm surprised I wasn't drunk. I just had that whole douche bag just laughing at everything. Oh, yeah. She was like, where have you guys been? And Austin was like, I think we got a flat tire or something. And we just started cracking up laughing.

She was not having our shit. I can't believe she didn't throw us out of class. Yeah. She did not. She was not having our shit that day. You guys got to leave for lunch. Yeah, dude.

Well, we had off campus lunch. Junior and senior year. You could leave. It was like a privilege. That's not even like a thing where we're from. Like, it was like a whole. Look, that was a whole city.

Like, not just my school. It was a whole city. You can't leave. Nobody can leave. I mean, maybe. Because you guys were going to go do bad shit. Maybe at the city school. You guys were going to go do drugs.

Probably at the whatever school you were at, too. You guys were going to get involved with drugs. No, I'm saying maybe they're allowed to at the city school. Because there's, like, restaurants within, like, a mile. Yeah, no, I mean, we didn're allowed to at the city school because there's like restaurants within like a mile. Yeah, no, I mean, we didn't live in bumfuckin' nowhere. Hey, do I? I think I know why because I was the same way. I would much rather

go to... So aggressive. Ah, damn! What the fuck? I would much rather go to someone else's house than have someone over to my house because it reeks like cigarettes. Yeah, that was my entire fucking childhood. It reeked, bro.

It was just instilled in my mind and body to not bring people to my house. It's like if your parents smoke squares, you're welcome over. But if you came from one of them households that was like crystal clean and didn't smell smelt like fresh candles and like no cigarette smell in the house and they smoke cigarettes outside yeah you can't come over bucko till we're like till we're locked in boys looking back on like restaurants used to just entirely be like smoking like my parents would only take us to restaurants that had smoking sections and we would always sit in the smoking section they smoke cigarettes oh yeah well my dad used to back in the day my mom's uh marble reds oh your mom's dog your mom still smokes she smokes what american spirits now i have no idea i think they're american spirit miss curly smokes uh

cigarettes she'll rip a dart i I want to fucking smoke one. She'll rip a darty. That's fire. She'll rip a little dartski. Where the hell are you guys going? Shit, bud. What the fuck? So, there's been a slight change.

Walker's ASMR section will no longer be happening due to a lack of content. It's now been replaced by Walker's book reading time extravaganza. This is from the book Invisible Woman. Evidence-based paternal leave policies won't fix everything, of course, because woman's unpaid labor workload doesn't begin and end with newborn babies, and their traditional workplace is tailored to the life of a mythical unencumbered worker. He, and it is implicitly a he doesn't need to concern himself with taking care of children or elderly relatives of cooking of cleaning thank

you walker that was a great segment this month i mean this week thank you that was a great 30 second segment that's until next week book man um i think every male should be tapped in on that for real i think learn think that should be high school Like required reading One of the most interesting things that book does Is it presents Gender bias As

Or it says Let me read the Data bias In a world designed for men And it presents data bias not as like things i would typically think of it but like the average house cabinets are built too tall for like the average height of a female you know um the average car is built to the you know the average height of a man not a woman and it goes on and on and on and on a quick anecdote from the

book is that the british military women in the british military suffered pelvic injury rates at three times the rate of normal population it's because the british military just had a flat 30 inch marching step that was changed after much rigmarole, down to 28 inches for women, and the rate of pelvic injuries fell by 90% over three years. I thought you were about to say something way worse than marching. I ain't gonna lie to you. I'm glad that didn't get wild, as wild as I thought it was gonna get. Where'd you think it was gonna go? I have no idea.

Hey, I've read some pretty good books in my time. Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell. One other one. The Autobiography of Gucci Man. Firehouse Book. Come on, man. You read any other books? Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell.

I read The Hatchet once. I read two Malcolm Gladwell books. Hatchet. So AJ's on three books. I read The Giver. I read three during during literally three during the month of january during the pandemic i've probably read like and i was probably like six books in my lifetime maybe seven maybe seven seven all right aj how many books in your lifetime

fuck four three i just read fucking during the pandemic and then to kill a mockingbird fucking bullshit my way through boo radley's bullshit that book is racist as fuck how many books have you read in your lifetime i've read a lot like more than i could count jesus i'm a reader you guys walker you how many books have you read in your lifetime? A lot. How many? I actually- Would you say in the hundreds? Jesus Christ. Like 200?

Damn, no fucking way. You've read a thousand books. Maybe. You're a smoking dick. Probably not. I did. When I was in middle school, we had a competition on the whole district. It was how many pages you read.

And I was just a little book crack fiend at that point. I read three Hardy Boys books every night before I went to bed. So I was just crushing these numbers. I was top in our school. I ended up being one of the top in the district. So I got to go meet the famous coach of Duke basketball, Mike Krzyzewski, at PNC Arena in front of a whole crowd of people

because this was part of this reading outreach program they have with all these middle schools. So I show up, and one thing about me, I'm a huge,hard nc state fan and i'm right in the pocket of life where my fandom has never been larger so i show up and they give us shirts to wear and we wear the shirts i go up on stage i can actually we can post the picture on the podcast i have a picture with with Mike Krzyzewski and this random Capitalist fuckhead who you know sponsored the thing pull it up After I

Took the picture with Mike Krzyzewski I got off the stage and I went around the stage to like go back up in the stands and I pulled my shirt up And I had a giant Where I had a just bright red nc state shirt right next to the stage and i got a couple laughs you know my dad tells a story fondly but it was one of the proudest that sounds funny hey walker uh tell the story of uh the one time you won that one thing in that one place real quick well never mind Don't tell that fucking story. Hey, hold on.

I got something to say. They need to incorporate books on tape more often. For those that can't read? For me. I would read so many. We used to go to the library in Leslie, and I'd only get the book if it was a book on tape. I did read most of the Harry Potter joints because of the books on tape.

I'll throw that bitch in the CD player thing or whatever. Down that drink. Down that drink. Good shit, Walker. That neck moving, boy. That neck was moving. You really get that throat moving when you're drinking wait till the camera's off throat goat we already know he's they call me the throat goat for a reason

what's the reason meg what's the reason up what's the reason you got a tag or everyone's in the comments please spam meg the stallion in the comments bro i i don't know oh fuck i don't know where it will be posted i have a twerking video Meg Oh it's going to be posted on this podcast Actually we're going to pull it up on this podcast There's a part where it's going to go in It'll be there Meg

Hit me up It's around 20 something minutes Meg You'll see I know you watch the pod Meg Just hit him up Yeah come on on, Meg. Hey, Meg is a... She's got her degree.

You seen that? In Megan Thee Stallion. I don't know. It don't matter. I can't say that. She's edumacated. You were probably going to say something very endearing, but...

Yeah, I like that. Uncamera worthy. I was going to say something endearing um future baby mama hopefully and wife good shit alright ladies and gentlemen thanks for listening to motherfucking podcast number six

make sure you like subscribe do all the things find us on apple spotify everywhere we're everywhere. Yeah. Thanks for listening. My name's Austin Lane. My name's AJ motherfucking Allen. My name's Walker and AJ.

I'm breaking my silence to ridicule you. That was fucking stupid. We out. Love you guys.