An Army of Normal Folks - Charmaine Solomon: HIPsters — Hugely Important People (Pt 1)

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Charmaine is the founder of My Possibilities, which serves who they call HIPsters (hugely important people), otherwise known as adults with disabilities, with a real college experience that they wouldn’t otherwise get. They started with 10 students and now have 675 students!Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I think we had about 350 people in that building. Holy crap! Within a year, and that's why I said we've always had a waitlist. So within the first year we were at 350 and I think we were only, we had 400 was max in that building. So we had that building for four years and then we bought another derelict building. If nothing else speaks to the need and the beauty of what you're doing you went in one year from 10 to 300. Exactly. How many? 300. 10 to 300 in a year. In a light. That means parents and people were begging for something.

for something. So how many people on this campus now? 675 as of yesterday. Oh my gosh. Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis. And that last part somehow led to an Oscar for the film about our team. That movie's called Undefeated. Guys, I sincerely believe our country's problems are never gonna be solved by a bunch of fancy people

in nice suits, using big words that nobody ever uses on CNN and Fox but rather by an army of normal folks. Y'all that is us, you and me, seeing a place in need and deciding hey you know what I can help. That's what Charmaine Solomon, the voice you just heard, has done. Charmaine is the founder of My Possibilities, which serves who they call hipsters, hugely important persons, otherwise known as adults with disabilities, a real college experience that they wouldn't otherwise get. I cannot wait for you to meet Charmaine right after these

brief messages from our Jenner sponsors. Why would you do that to me when I thought we were friends? We are friends. Los Angeles, 2021. A friendly neighbor appears out of nowhere and promises to make all my dreams come true. Let's not forget that David Blum was a professional con artist,

so you didn't stand a chance. But my dreams soon turned into a nightmare. Blum generally targeted people with money. And I was not alone. He took over 100 people for over $15 million. One of the victims was his own grandmother. I was married to David for almost 10 years. It was insane.

I was barely functioning. And I just had this realization that he will not stop until he kills me. Getting a con artist to pay for their crimes isn't easy. Charge David Glow! I'm Caroline DeMore. Listen as I take down my scammer on Once Upon a Con on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Monday, March 17th on Fox, starring Bad Bunny, Glowrilla, Kenny Chesney, Money Long, Nellie,

your host, iHeartRadio, LL Cool J, are you guys ready to have some fun tonight? Plus iHeart Innovator Award recipient, Lady Gaga, iHeart Icon Award recipient, Moriah Carey, and iHeart Breakthrough Award recipient, Gracie Abrams. Watch live on Fox, Monday, March 17th at 8, 7 Central. My name is Brendan Patrick Hughes, host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild-haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hell-bent effort to sabotage a war. J. Edgar Hoover was furious somebody violated the FBI and he wanted

to bring the Catholic left to its knees. The FBI went around to all their neighbors and said to them, you think these people are good Americans? It's got heists, tragedy, a trial of the century, and the god-damnedest love story you've ever heard. I picked up the phone and my thought was this is the most important phone call I'll ever make in my life. I couldn't believe it. I mean, Brendan, it was divine intervention. Listen to Divine Intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible. The most important thing to do is to be aware of your you get your podcasts. or the seriously smart podcaster, it requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously, the best person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, visit TalkAboutVaping.org, brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council.

Charmaine Solomon, welcome to Memphis. Thank you so much. When did you get here? This morning. Did you? No, 10 minutes ago. 10 minutes ago? Yeah, you're straight off the flight. Yep.

Did you fly from Dallas? Dallas. Yeah, okay. Well, that's not bad. It's an American direct ride on in. No, and no issues today. Well, welcome to Memphis. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. And, you know, I've been around, I do a lot of business in Texas,

and I've been around a lot of folks from Texas. You don't sound like you're from Texas. I was born and raised in South Africa and came to America through my husband's employment. How many when? In 99. And so we came here, we went to London for three many when? In 99. So we came here, we went to London for three years in 96 to 99. And then we've been in Dallas since 1999 with the Cadbury Schweppes Dr. Pepper Company. My husband is was an executive with him.

That's what brought us to Dallas. They got Dr. Pepper down in South Africa. No Cadbury's had a whole portfolio of drinks. Dr. Pepper is just the business here in Texas. I see. That's what brought us here. I got it. So what did he do in South Africa? The same. My husband has been in human resources forever and ever on the strategic side of human resources. You know, when these companies buy out companies all the time and then they make

mergers and acquisitions and all this kind of stuff. And he comes in to do all the people things behind that. I got it. So have you worked outside the home before? Oh yeah, I've always worked. What do you do? I started off in human resources myself. Well, I guess you and your husband just know how to handle people.

Well, you would think so, but not always. People are people, right? So I started off in human resources and then through my son's accident, I went back to study to become a therapist. Now I think when you're in human resources, you're doing therapy anyway. So it's.

That's right, that makes sense. So Charmaine, we're gonna get to, for everybody, Charmaine is the founder of My Possibilities in Plano, Texas, which is just north of Dallas, really. It's all, well, actually, it's just all become a massive sprawling Metroplex from Fort Worth all the way up through North Texas now. Correct. Plano, North Texas. And we'll get to obviously what My Possibilities is and the phenomenal work that it does. But I think we need to unpack a little bit of history to get there as to why you've why you even started with my possibilities. How many children do you have?

I have four. My husband and I in a blended marriage, two and two made four. I got it. And we were like no more. That was it. That's a South African Brady Bunch or something. That's enough. That's enough. When you do. I mean, you do the math. Yeah. And so their ages are? So my oldest son is 42. And my youngest, Kyle, who's the the adult with disabilities is

going to be 38. 38. Yes. Wow. 38 to 42. And two in the middle. They're all up in there. They were all the same age. Yeah, okay. Ours too. Ours are 29, 28, 27, 26. So we weren't blended. We made them all together. But it was, yeah.

I know what your house must look like. Yes, because they're all the same age and especially when they're adolescents. So that's it. Grow up in South Africa, marry, have a family, move to London, move to Dallas, good careers going on, this beautiful family, and then something happens. And you have a son with special needs. How'd that, how's that tell me, tell us about that story.

So, you know, my son wasn't born a person with a needs. Correct. How that, how's that tell me, tell us about that story. So, you know, my son wasn't born a person with a disability. Um, I was involved in a car accident in South Africa when he was a baby. Um, and he sustained a head injury in that accident. And that's what changed his trajectory and actually mine too. Um, so that's how we realized actually at the time we didn't realize how complicated it was, but we found out over the years to be able to do that. So that's how we, Carl is now 38 years old, he's a person with an intellectual disability.

And you know, these kids are inspirational. They give you a different perspective on life. They make you change your lives. You know, when Kyle was born, I was on maternity leave and, you know, I had a company car. I was a regional manager and I thought, oh, you know, how you think life is good. Life is great. And then in seconds, your life can change. And up until that time, I will tell you that I didn't notice a person with a disability. I never to school with somebody who was had a disability But boy that world just opened up to me Quickly that whole veil just fell apart and suddenly there were people with

intellectual disabilities all around me how uh how old was Kyle when you left South Africa he was Probably ten so How old was Kyle when you left South Africa? He was, uh, probably 10. So at what age did you start to notice the disability? Probably in the beginning, I noticed a little bit, but they would say to me, oh, he's just delayed. You know, he was a bit slower to walk and he was a bit slower to talk. They would say, oh, he's just, you know, milestones are slow, children regret. But at age five, the gap began to change.

When you were thinking about school and thinking about peers, his age, we began to notice the big, the big difference between that. And so that's when we noticed at age five, that it was really, the gap was widening and you know, my son is visually impaired as well from that accident. So everybody would say, oh, it's just his visual impairment. That's why he's so, he's later. was widening and you know my son is visually impaired as well from that accident so everybody would say oh it's just his visual impairment that's why he's so he's later but at age five it became very clear that there was something else going on. I'm gonna ask you a question now because I have a very personal relationship to the question. Sure. But I think it's very important important our listeners feel what you feel and felt what you felt and

understand the drive and the passion for my possibilities. What age was Kyle when you first noticed people looking at you differently? Oh my gosh right from the get-go right from after the accident before the accident But straight away, people would be looking at me differently and they would be, I wouldn't be as included with all the other babies and the mommies and all of that kind of stuff. It started very early to say that there was, it's a different journey for me

compared to the traditional children. Having had a traditional son and you know, you have play dates, you get invited over, the mommies and all that kind of stuff, Not so much, it was very different from the beginning. Did you vocalize that? Not really, you just look at it and you just go, well, okay then. I mean, what do you say to someone?

Gosh, why don't you include me because I have a child with special needs? And it's a silent conversation, it's not even something that people say. It's just things that people do. They sort of step back. They don't call you as much. It's not like it's a conversation.

It's just a withdrawing that you see people do around you. Becomes very lonely, actually. That was my next question. How does that feel? Very lonely and very isolating because actually it's a lot to deal with when you have a child with an intellectual disability. I mean, it's 24 seven, especially when they're young and older. Um, it's lonely and it gets difficult.

Sometimes you just want to talk to someone and say, this is hard, but you don't get to do that opportunity as much. How did your husband handle that reality? Well, actually, my, Carl's dad is not my current husband. Actually, shortly after the accident and shortly after all the stress of this young child, we divorced, our marriage ended. And it wasn't the man that I'm married to today is not my son's dad. That all fell apart immediately. I mean, it was fragile to begin with,

but that stress just put it over the top. Sure. I mean, do you know the date on it? I know it's really high the divorce rate for people who have a child with disabilities. I think it's 85%. Yeah. The stress is immeasurable. Unbelievable. Yeah, the stress is immeasurable. Yeah, unbelievable.

And oftentimes the misplaced guilt and the conflict that results from that guilt oftentimes leads to a blame game that just tears people apart. Correct. And also sometimes you're just like, I've got so much to deal with. I really don't need to deal with the other stuff. I'll rather deal with one thing as opposed to the other. That was certainly for me. I would rather deal.

What is your husband's name? My current husband is Larry. Larry. So, Larry willfully married a woman knowing what he was getting into. He did. What a fine man. Yeah, and actually when he first proposed to me

I was like, nope, we're not doing this. That's funny. I was like, no, we're not doing this. No, I've got this child with special needs and you know what, his dad couldn't cope with him, how are you gonna cope with him? I mean, he's not your biological child. And he just said, well, figure it out.

And you know what,, the other little brats were much more difficult to deal with than this young man. You know what I mean? They were much more difficult to deal with than our child with special needs. And so we were able to figure that out. So describe what there is to quote, deal with. I think it, well, from an emotional point of view, I mean, it's difficult to see your child different and not being able to do all those things that other children can do, right? I mean, riding a bike, my son will not get, well, I hope he gets married one day, but I don't think so. He will not be able to have children. He won't be able to drive a car. Those are hard.

You know, I've got friends whose children are the same age as mine. They are married. They have children. They can drive their own homes. That's not the journey for my son and that's hard, right? That's a loss that you deal with. And then the second part is they themselves, it's hard to see this child struggle just with daily things and then you do the math and you start saying I'm not gonna live forever what's gonna happen to my vulnerable adult what's gonna happen to him when I'm not here anymore I mean that's a hard part for any parent to be thinking about I mean it's hard enough when

you've got traditional children but when you have children that are so vulnerable you think just well what now so there now? So there's so many, there's many complexities of emotions and thoughts and feelings and it doesn't go away because you're with them 24 seven, right? Functionally. Where's Kyle? Like on a grade level. Yeah. So because he's now out of school, Kyle can function very well independently. His vision is the most restrictive thing for him,

but he's a smart young man, he's funny, he likes music. And for me, my journey is less complicated than some of our other parents, right? Because some of our other parents, their children are much more complicated than Carl. Carl is behaviorally stable, he communicates, so our life is easier, but it's still not the same. It's still different to be able to do that.

And, you know, Carl's got this wonderful brilliance about music. He can tell you whatever it is from the first bar of that kind of stuff. So you celebrate those victories to be able to do that. But Carl will never be able to live independently without supervision. And so that's always what does that look like going forward? So that's why we work so hard. And now a few messages from our generous sponsors. But first, the Army currently has 45 premium members

and we're trying to grow that to 100. If you'd be open to becoming one, we'd genuinely appreciate it. By becoming one for 10 bucks a month or a thousand dollars a year, you can get access to cool benefits like bonus episodes, a yearly group call, and even a one-on-one phone call with me. But frankly guys, it's not about all that. Premium members help us to grow this army that we believe our country desperately needs right now. So I hope you'll think about it.

We'll be right back. Why would you do that to me when I thought we were friends? We are friends. Los Angeles, 2021. A friendly neighbor appears out of nowhere and promises to make all my dreams come true. Let's not forget that David Blum was a professional con artist, so you didn't stand a chance.

But my dreams soon turned into a nightmare. Blum generally targeted people with money. And I was not alone He took over a hundred people for over 15 million dollars. One of the victims was his own grandmother I was married to David for almost ten years. It was insane I was barely functioning and I just had this realization that he will not stop until he kills me Getting a con artist to pay for their crimes isn't easy. Charge David Glo!

I'm Caroline DeMore. Listen as I take down my scammer on Once Upon a Con on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our iHeartRadio Music Awards are coming back Monday, March 17th on Fox, starring Bad Bunny, Glowrilla, Kenny Chesney, March 17th at 8, 7 Central. My name is Brendan Patrick Hughes,

host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hell bent effort to sabotage a war. J. Edgar Hoover was furious somebody violated the FBI and he wanted to bring the Catholic left to its knees. The FBI went around to all their neighbors and said to them,

do you think these people are good Americans? It's got heists, tragedy, a trial of the century and the God damnedest love story you've ever heard. I picked up the phone and my thought was, this is the most important phone call I'll ever make in my life. I couldn't believe it. I mean, Brendan, it was divine intervention. Listen to Divine Intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious, one in ten kids vape serious, which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure like yourself. Not the seriously know-it-all sports dad or the seriously smart podcaster. It requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously, the best person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, visit TalkAboutVaping.org brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad

Council. My beautiful wife, Lisa, who I've been married to for 33 years, my first date after months of begging her to go out with me. Sounds familiar. Months. Yeah. I went to pick her up and I grew up in apartments and things like that and I drove up to this 44 acre home, a home that sat on 44 acres, this beautiful land behind it and this gorgeous Williamsburg property, just beautiful and drove up this very long driveway and the closer I'm getting

the house the more more nervous I'm getting because I'm thinking these this girl first of all is gorgeous and out of my league and clearly these people are out of my league and I'm just driving up thinking oh my gosh what the heck is going on and I go to the front door and this beautiful woman answers the door, her mother, and says Lisa will be right down. She said, how are you? Where are you from? Small talk, waiting for Lisa to come down.

Midway through that conversation, waiting on my first date with Lisa, peers around the corner of the den into the foyer, this dark headed brown eyed big grinning kid named Ben. And when Ben walked up to me and reached out his mutton joint to shake my hand and say, hi, I'm Ben, it was very clear that Ben was special. I had no idea what, he was not a child with Down syndrome, but he certainly was different. Which, you know, in high school, I was part of the key club and every once in a while we would go like bowl with

some of the kids with special needs and stuff. But so I'd been around folks, but not intimate at all. So I'd been around folks, but not intimate at all. And at any rate, went on to the date and one thing led to another and Lisa and I got married. And so I have had 33 years, 34 years with Ben. He was four or five. That's incorrect. He was eight at that time. I have taken Ben Christmas shopping to Radio Shack. He loved Radio Shack. My son loves Radio Shack.

Isn't that something? I have been to Special Olympic events. I have visited him in one or two or three of the homes in Kentucky and Austin, Texas, actually the Brown School if you've ever heard. I am, yes. Yeah, we have vacationed with Ben. We have been out to eat with Ben. We have been, Ben has just been an integral part of our life. I will never forget the first time I took Ben to Walmart because he always liked to go for rides and walking through just the minding our own business doing our shopping and the stairs and how little it made me feel and it took me I mean embarrass, it took me some time to get over my insecurities about being in public.

And how people stare. Can you identify with that? Oh gosh, unbelievable. Even going through an airport, you know, we travel just like you do with Kyle. I mean, it just, people stare, people are rude. I mean, it's amazing that people feel that comfortable to stare at something, another human being like that. These are just human beings. And so it's difficult. And as you say, I mean, and also you just want to think you want to say to that person, golly, really? Do you need to stay that hard? If

you're that curious, would you like to come over and have a conversation or? Can I help you with something you know it's really it makes it sometimes it gets so blatantly uncomfortable That you really want to get up and say something, but you don't because I mean why would you cause this to you? Right well because you have more class than the people stare exactly exactly so So Ben, I would say is a fourth grade level functioning person. He can, he certainly can hold conversations he more than enough he loves gadgets like, you know, sunny PlayStations and stuff and he's into that. The thing I've learned about Ben, I mean, I learned this many years ago, but I still hold it dead in my heart is Ben is interesting because he is high enough functioning. He's low enough functioning to be visibly and audibly different.

If he walked in here, everybody would know he was special needs. But he is high enough functioning to know he was special needs. But he is high enough functioning to know he doesn't fit. He's still a human being with a soul and emotions and desires and wants and love. Just like you and I. And he's different because everywhere he goes, people treat him differently, right? You know, in some, I never wanna say that my son's disability or his visual impairment is a blessing sometimes, because sometimes he doesn't see that,

because he's not that visually, you have to be quite close to him for him to be able to see. So sometimes it's such a blessing because he actually doesn't see some of that, but I see it, and it hurts me as his mother, because I know if he could see that, it would upset him, because he's doesn't see some of that, but I see it. And it hurts me as his mother, because I know if he could see that, it would upset him because he's similar to Ben.

He knows, and he's sensitive. He's not, you know, he may have an intellectual disability, but he understands. He understands emotions. He understands what people say. He understands the tone in which you speak to him. And he knows when you're speaking to him

in a condescending tone, or you're speaking to him differently, he knows that. But sometimes when you're in a public place and someone is doing that, I am grateful for the fact that he's visually impaired because he doesn't get to see it as much as I do. As Kyle ever voice to you, or some type of inclination or communicated to you in any way that he

was unhappy with his life? No, never. No, never. I remember from a young boy I was just hearing him giggling in his bed and I was like what is he laughing at and it would be some little bird you know chirping on the windowsill outside and he could hear it and I kind of the happiest of the boy in, in, in the world. He has no, um, he doesn't let anything get in his way. And that's the most remarkable thing about him and all the other hipsters at My Possibilities. These guys, they don't let their disability get in the way.

They don't feel sorry for themselves. He just gets on with it. He's happy. He goes, now if he's hungry and you don't give him food, that's a whole different story, right? He gets angry big time, but the rest of the time life is, you know, he goes, now if he's hungry and you don't give him food, that's a whole different story, right? He gets angry big time. But the rest of the time, life is, you know, he loves, and it's the, and I think for me,

the simplicity of his life, he wants his food, he wants his friends, he wants his music, he wants his room, don't mess with his room, but just those basic things and he's as happy as anything. And for us who have everything, it's often never enough, right? So for those of you listening there's a little insight into what life with a special needs person is and it is interesting because until they're 18 there is typically some type of school or school environment, even

if you try to mainstream or even mainstream schools that have special needs classwork or special needs classes that, in our experience, got you through to 18. Was that your experience? Actually, in Texas, you can go to school to the year of your 21st or 22nd birthday. Actually, I think that's the same in Tennessee. Yes. Up until the year of your 10th in school. If you're in public school, you can go to the year of your, of your 22nd birthday. Yeah. But the point is there's a plan. Exactly. And there's a place,

they have a place, they have the happy of longing, there's people around them. Correct. But 22 is only a third to 25% of one's life. And I don't think people understand, candidly, the depth of despair that parents go through when those last couple of years start approaching because the question then is now what? And you don't want to, these are living, breathing, thinking, emotionally feeling human beings.

And although people look at them very differently until you've had a relationship with a special needs person you will find you will understand very quickly the depth of their real emotion and to put a 23 year old in front of a TV and turn on it and say sit here all day and then go to sleep and repeat for the rest of your life. It's just criminal. But it's what we do. Yes, we do. And we put them out to retirement age 22, right?

And we just forget about them. Well, that's the philosophy is that, oh well, they can just be, they fine. They don't have or they're not gonna miss anything. And that was your experience. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Age 21, we go into the last odd meeting, they're like, oh Charmaine,

what are you going to do with Carl? I'm like, I don't know, what can I do with Carl? And the same thing back, I don't know. And so they give me some little list with that head names on, and I went out and did some homework, and I was even more depressed by that because the places that I went to,

I was just devastated to see the states of the facilities that they were in. They were in some back room. It almost feels like the scene out of one floor over the Cocos. I promised you it, it felt like institutions and it smelled badly. It smelled, you know, of, of urine. And I was like, I wouldn't even put my dog there. I'm, there's no way that I'm going to put my child there. And that began the journey. All I remember way that I'm gonna put my child there. And that began the journey. All I remember thinking, I'm gonna get a bus.

These people are coming with me. I don't know where they're going, but they're coming with me because I can't leave them in this place. I remember the same, not verbatim, and certainly not with your accent, but almost the same, my mother-in-law, Peggy, Ben's mother, I remember her same anxiety, her same stress. What am I going to do?

And the options are few. Exactly. And honestly, and I, you know, minus the drama of the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, but if you think about an institutionalized, barred up place with seats and a TV in a corner and a bunch of people sitting around doing nothing, staring at that TV, that's what these places feel like to me.

Yeah, and they were not, I mean, and it's not even a decent facility, it's like a little back room somewhere. We'll be right back. Why would you do that to me when I thought we were friends? We are friends. Los Angeles, 2021. A friendly neighbor appears out of nowhere

and promises to make all my dreams come true. Let's not forget that David Blum was a professional con artist, so you didn't stand a chance. But my dreams soon turned into a nightmare. Blum generally targeted people with money. And I was not alone. He took over a hundred people for over $15 dollars. One of the victims was his own grandmother. I was married to David for almost 10 years. It was insane.

I was barely functioning and I just had this realization that he will not stop until he kills me. Getting a con artist to pay for their crimes isn't easy. I'm Caroline DeMore. Listen as I take down my scammer on Once Upon a Con on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our iHeartRadio Music Awards are coming back Monday, March 17th on FOX. Starring Bad Bunny, Glowrilla, Kenny Chesney, Money Long, Nelly, your host, i, I Heart Radio, LL Cool J, are you guys ready to have some fun tonight?

Plus I Heart Innovator Award recipient, Lady Gaga, I Heart Icon Award recipient, Moriah Carey, and I Heart Breakthrough Award recipient, Gracie Abrams. Watch live on Fox, Monday, March 17th at 8, 7 Central. My name is Brendan Patrick Hughes, host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild-haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hell-bent effort to sabotage a war. J. Edgar Hoover was furious somebody violated the FBI and he wanted to bring the Catholic left to its knees. The FBI went around to all their neighbors and said to them,

do you think these people are good Americans? It's got heists, tragedy, a trial of the century, and the God-damnedest love story you've ever heard. I picked up the phone and my thought was, this is the most important phone call I'll ever make in my life. I couldn't believe it. I mean, Brendan, it was divine intervention. Listen to Divine Intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious, 1 in 10 kids vape serious, which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure like yourself. Not the seriously know-it-all sports dad, or the seriously smart podcaster. It requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously, the best person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, visit TalkAboutVaping.org,

brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council. I mean, you know, we live in Texas, so we still have a state school. And I don't know why somebody invited me to come to the state school to come and see if that could potentially be an option for my child. I remember going to visit that state school and I was like, oh my gosh, exactly what you're describing, except that everybody was highly medicated. And so I was looking at this and I was like, you know, that's how they, I guess, do compliance is with medication. I was like, what is this? How is this allowed? How is this even allowed to be a thing that we do?

These are human beings, right? They have the same wants and desires and needs as you and I. Why would that be denied to this population? And it's a silent population. Nobody says anything. denied to this population. And it's a silent population. Nobody says anything. I want to share with our audience, and you may or may not have heard this, but you probably do. You're far more of an expert at this than I am. But I once asked about the medication and the answer was there's five or six staff, there's 70 or 80 people here. And when they have behavioral problems or outbursts, we can't handle them so we just dumb them down with meds. And then the question is, well, why in the world are they acting out?

Well, I don't know. Let's forget special needs. Everybody listen to us. Take your 22 or 23 year old child and stick them in that environment and see if they don't get frustrated pretty quickly exactly and see if they don't start acting out and see if they don't start start acting out on their own frustration and boredom and all of that it is no different these special needs people don't think they don't know what's going on. They

do. They do. And also the lack of dignity, you know, you take that piece as well. The dignity is such a good word. That somebody's touching you, you know, doing all these things to you and you can't say yes or no. It's just done. I mean, can you imagine? I don't think I would do well. They'd have to medicate me too. I mean, I wouldn't do well with that kind of stuff. So no, it was, it was really a hard, I mean, I just remember thinking to myself, Oh my gosh, I am so depressed.

I'm, what am I going to do? I'm working full time. I mean, I'm a career person. I've always worked. Um, what am I going to do? Cause you know, at school and I, and we said, well, what happens when the bus stops, cause the bus comes in the morning. It brings them home in the afternoon.

You can manage working when, when that happens, but what happens when the bus stops? Because the bus comes in the morning, it brings them home in the afternoon. You can manage working when that happens, but what happens when that goes away? And that's what happens when school's over. And anxiety sets in, frustration sets in, and then we ask ourselves, knowing all this, why would parents put their kids in that spot? Well, if you're making a living and barely hanging in there and you have a special needs child, especially if

you're a single parent, what other option do you have even though it breaks your heart? And what I came to understand is that people had become kind of like It's kind of like the same thing you you just get used to this this lack of service or this This well, this is what they is really and people have become quite okay with that Even parents had come to the point where they're like well that resigned themselves to that This could potentially be the only place for them and you're like really how does that happen? You you think oh well This is the only thing that they that they can do and you need something to help you, so you're gonna take this and you kind of settle for that.

I was so surprised to see that people would even be okay with that, that they would settle for something like that. But desperation, right? You need to work, you're a breadwinner, or the child has a lot to handle all the time, you need a break. I can see why people are forced into those situations.

But you weren't having it. Oh, no. The good Lord made me very stubborn. So that's part of that's part of the thing is stubbornness. So I want to read these numbers. There's 250,000 in North Texas with intellectual and or development, this development disability, IDD. 250,000 in North Texas.

And that's an old census report. There are more. That is not the most current census report where that data comes from. Only 8% of adults with IDD are employed in the community. Nationally, it's not good either, only 15 to 20%. Correct. 52% of adults with a cognitive disability leave high school without a diploma.

62% of parents of adults with disabilities do not have a plan for the future. And that does not not don't take that as the parents aren't thinking about it it's just there's no option that's right it's options and so you said nah we're gonna do something different and that became my possibilities and this this thing I love. What began as a vision of three months looking for a better future for their children has turned into first of its kind continuing education and job placement program for adults with

intellectual and developmental disabilities in North Texas aim to give adults with IBD the chance at a higher education and an opportunity to let their untapped possibilities shine. That's what began, that was your vision. Yes. So tell me about the beginning and that and how easy that was. You know nothing came easy. It was hard. We had no money. We didn't know what to do. And there was so much criticism as well, you know, from the community. Okay, here's a squirrel. I'm chasing up a tree. I read that when you when you when you were looking for a building that when people found out you were going to be trying to teach people beyond high school and get them job readiness

for special needs folks that people didn't want to rent that to you because that was what I guess I was going to screw up the neighborhood I don't know I don't know what they were thinking but yes we could not find anybody that would lease us a facility that we could start we went to churches criticized for even trying to criticize explain that. Who was criticizing you and why? Well, A, when we first started the school district, we were like, what do you guys know about this to start something like that? So we had that.

You mean beyond being their parents and having lived with them your whole life? Exactly, with their parents. Because the system knows better than the parent. Correct, so what do you know about that? And then some of the other parents, because what we were trying to do wasn't what they wanted for their children.

So then it was a selective few or something like that. So it's so interesting because it's such a need and the portfolio of people that we serve is so large, there's space for everybody, but it's that deficit model that says there's nothing out there. So I'm just going to take everything that you know I wanted my way and you're like well it's

for the greater good it's not just for one it has to be for everyone right and so that was the interesting thing to be able to do that we went to churches to ask them you know big you know Texas has got mega churches on corners and said listen you've got these big buildings during the week those buildings open. Do you think you could give us some space? Nope, not a mission, not a ministry, nothing like that. And we were like, what is this? So we really struggled to find a location. Well, hold it, why was it?

What were the excuses given? I'm curious. One was that the one in particular was it was not their mission. And you're like, really, it's human beings. The church is not that mission. And you've got all these vacant buildings that you could use during the day.

Why on earth would you not, I mean, we were willing to pay for it. Wasn't we going to, you know, it would help the church, but nope, wouldn't do it. And we went to multiple churches, they were not open. Again, I think it's our population, right? They were concerned about the risk. Cause that's what everybody, they don't say it to your face,

but indirectly they're talking about the risks. Because I think there's so many misconceptions about people with special needs. Often mental health and people with special needs are tied together. So when people are thinking as somebody with an intellectual disability, they're actually thinking about people

that have serious mental illness and have those kind of things. So I think those were some of the things that we had to do. because we had to fix up those stereotypes to say gosh these guys have an intellectual disability they're not dangerous people they are loving and kind and just want whatever. So we had to do a lot of education so I think it's that misperception between mental illness and someone with a disability. I mean, that's a huge difference, right?

And finally, you found a crappy building with wires hanging from the roof. Absolutely, and a gentleman in Houston had a daughter that had special needs, so he understood and allowed us to use this building. But it was an old, dilapidated building. I mean, the wires were hanging down from the ceiling, and he was like, okay, you can take it, but then you'd have to fix it up.

Was this in Plano? In Plano, our very first location. And so we were going to fix it up. I put my therapy office in the back of it because we couldn't afford the rent so that we could offset some of the rent. I sub-lease some of the space. And we went to a community and said, hey, we could, in the middle of winter, we're sitting there in with blankets, no lights on. Hey, this could be the future home of my possibilities. But can you help us? And that's when that community started to come around us. I can do paint. There was a gentleman that worked for Sherman Williams. Hey, I could do the paint.

Hey, I could do the carpets. Hey, I could do this. I could do that. And so we began to think, wow, this could be a potential to do this. And the owner of the building was so sweet to do a graduated lease for us so that we could get on our feet and to be able to start and do this kind of fun stuff. So we had to fix up this building, we had to paint it. My first media ever is me and my son cleaning the most horrendous male toilets in this building.

It was just disgusting. And there somebody snapped us and there's a photo of him and I cleaning up the male bathrooms. It was the most disgusting thing we've ever experienced. But again, when you start something, you have to be willing to put all that sweat equity and do everything that you need to do. And we had to raise money. We had to raise $250,000 to get the doors open. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Charmaine Solomon. And you don't want

to miss part two that's now available to listen to. Together guys, we can change this country. And it starts with you. I'll see you in part two. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, that's good. I'm AJ Jacobs and my current obsession is puzzles.

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