An Army of Normal Folks - Communist Christmas Trees

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

For "Shop Talk", Coach Bill's hot take on fake vs. real Christmas trees and somehow he relates this to our legacies.  Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney, Shop Talk Number 34. Welcome in. Today we're going to talk about your legacy and it's got to be worth more than five bucks. So if your legacy is worth only five bucks, you're screwing up. That's the title of Shop Talk Number 34. Don't screw up your legacy and make it worth five bucks right after these brief messages Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted. But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight.

I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Ested Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee, Roy Wood Jr., and Charlemagne the God. We're gonna take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of

Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Bill Courtney, Shop Talk number 34. There you go. I love that thing. All right. Vita Scott. Vita Scott. Got your bell.

In fact, we're putting a picture of the bell up on social media, aren't we? Yeah, because why? Tell her, I mean, number one, it's cool too. Because it's a Christmas present? But it also that it says an army of normal folks on it well so cool yeah so you're putting that picture so if anybody wants to see the shop talk Bell when you enter the shop follow us on social media if you're not on social media and you're gonna see the Bell wonderful so I'm going to die. And so is everyone listening to me.

And I'm 56 now. And it's interesting how hard I've worked on my legacy and accumulating my legacy. And then now as I'm a little older in my twilight years, what's interesting is you go from a shift of accumulation to worrying about who gets it. So you work your life accumulating all this legacy and then you you spend the twilight years of your life dividing it up and making sure it's all fair. In fact, and of you, like me, might actually employ someone and pay them to write up documents to make sure everything's divided up nice and fair-like. And then you croak. And when you croak, about a week and a half, two weeks, maybe a month, after

you're put in the dirt or cremated and put in a jar or whatever. Um, those people that you, uh, divided up the legacy that you worked your entire life to accumulate and the twilight years of your life, dividing up nice and fair, like show up at this attorney's office that you paid and there's your legacy separated in my case into four subsets, which will be the Maggie, the Molly, the will and the max, and the Max. You forgot me. Alex gets nothing.

I'll leave you the bell. You can get the bell. Okay. It'll be divided up nice and fair like. And what'll happen, and it happens all day, every day, is they will take the money, they will take the jewelry, some of which they might wear, some of which they might wear, some of which they might sell or melt down, and then all the other stuff.

And the all the other stuff, this legacy that you've worked your entire life to accumulate in the twilight years of your life dividing up nice and fair like, they might put a piece of it in a room to remember you by typically that front room in your house some of you put plastic on the sofa in that room but it's the room that pretty much never anybody ever goes into which when they put something to remember you by in a room that nobody ever goes into I'm not really sure how much remembrance is actually going on on your behalf because you're dead and they've got your money and your jewelry and the other stuff they throw in

boxes and stick in the attic. That's the truth about the stuff that we work our entire life to accumulate in the twilight years of our life divided up nice and fairly. So I got to tell you something about Christmas. I grew up in apartments, never had a big family. And as such as a father, I've always enjoyed the day after Thanksgiving, which in the Courtney household is Christmas decoration day. I want it to last all day. I want Christmas music playing. I want, I want everybody in the boxes decorating. I want Christmas music playing. I want everybody in the boxes decorating. I want to go do the Griswoldian thing. I want to go cut down a tree. I want to trim it. I want to put it in the stand and fight that stupid thing and put the skirt around it and then decorate the tree. I want to spend all day doing it. I think it's awesome.

About six years ago, we left the tree up too long and the needles fell off the tree and they were all over the floor and Lisa got a brand new Electrolux vacuum cleaner and she was using it to clean up the needles and it burnt the vacuum cleaner up and ruined it. That was the last day we ever had a real Christmas tree. So now we have a fake Christmas tree, which is kind of communist. I think it's a communist tree, frankly, because it's a fake tree. And we've got it down to an art now where we don't even undecorate this thing. We just put a sheet around it

and throw it up in the attic. And then when Christmas time rolls around, we pull the thing off, pull the sheet on, straighten out a couple of light bulbs and that's it. So what is supposed to take all day to decorate for Christmas and be this wonderful carol-filled, eggnog-drinking festivities of family fun now takes about 12 minutes and there's a communist Christmas tree sitting in a plastic tree sitting in the corner. What makes a communist, though? Well, I mean, it's not a real American Christmas because you're not doing everything else. It's got to be communist.

And I mean, the stuff's probably made in China and they're communist country. So it's communist Christmas tree. In fact, I would bet every day. I agree with you. I just wanted to hear you say it. Well, I think every Christmas tree in the world is probably made in China, like the other 70 percent of stuff we consume But it's you know, it is a wood guy. This just has to drive you nuts, too Yeah, I mean it's you know, and the other thing is the guy making it probably has no idea why he's making a tree

He's probably actually wondering why are Americans buying these eight foot tall Plastic facsimiles of something they could go in the backyard and cut down. You just offended half of our listeners. I don't care. I'm offending my wife. It's communist. Anyway, that's how we do Christmas now and it's disgusting. So back to the division up of your legacy that you've worked your entire life to accumulate. The twilight years your life dividing up nice and fair like clearly my children learn from their mother so 20 years from now or 20 years after Lisa and my's death when the money is

spent the jury is worn and all our legacy is in boxes in the attic and my own children start developing their own legacy on Christmas they're gonna be up there trying to get their communist Christmas tree out to have their 15 minutes of Christmas decorating front to take their sheet off their fake tree, and they're not going to be able to get to it from all the boxes of legacy piled up. And it's going to be frustrating.

And Maggie's going to call Molly, and they're going to be like, hey, I can't even get my communist Christmas tree out and decorate for 15 minutes for Christmas because of all mom and dad's legacy sitting up here in these boxes, that legacy that we've worked our entire life to accumulate and the twilight years of our life dividing up nice and fair like and they're going to call each other and say, we got to do something about all this stuff. And they're going to have an idea.

They're going to have a garage. Well, no, they're not no one in America has garage sales. They're gonna have an estate sale It's true. Well, I think rednecks probably saw garage sales Yeah, you just offended a third of us I think in your neighborhood their estate sales So attention all listeners if you have had a quote garage or yard sale Alex thinks you're a redneck that's what you just said you said nobody I'm just saying I think a lot of normal people still have garage sales too I think they have a state it's more fancy people like you who won't go on Southwest that you can email anytime at bill at normal folks dot us and let me know if you have yard

sales garage sales or estate sales. So. Next shop talk. Next shop talk will be that. So the first spring day, there it is, in all its glory. The legacy that you've worked your entire life to accumulate. And the twilight years of your life, divided up nice and fair like. Spread out on tables all over the front lawn

with sheets over it. And it used to be you'd put poster boards up on telephone poles, but now it's you do it on Facebook and online. But anyway, you do four family estate sale. All must go seven to three 30 one day only on Saturday. And if you've ever had one of these, remember it's seven to three 30 at six 30 here she is That's right The lady driving a 1981 Caprice classic parked out on the curb Molly opens the door. Yes. Are you having a garage sale?

Yeah, we are that's why all this stuff's in the front yard and Uh, yeah, we are. That's why all this stuff's in the front yard and over sleep deprived because you're setting this crap all up on, I'm sorry, this legacy up all night. Molly follows the woman into the front yard and there it is and all its glory. My legacy that I've worked my entire life to accumulate and my twilight years of my life dividing up nice and fair like and as the lady picks through the things she finds it on the third table in the middle. It's like a golden chalice from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ah, light coming up from it. It's a wicker basket from Pier 1, 1987 model

and it's got a little tag hanging off of it and it says 20 bucks and that lady walks over to it and she picks it up and looks at it and she just thinks oh I got to have this and then she looks at my heir who I've worked my entire life to accumulate my legacy and then I worked the twilight years of my life to divide up nice and fair like and she looks at my air and she says I can't pay you 20. I'll give you five And that air makes a quick calculation I either take five dollars for this piece of crap basket I never wanted in the first place or I gotta box it up and throw it back in my attic and next year

I will still not be able to get my communist christmas tree out and she says sold and the woman will take that basket that piece of your legacy she'll take the coat hanger off the the trunk she'll throw it in the trunk slam the trunk put the coat hanger back on the trunk to keep it closed she'll turn the ignition mash the gas on her 81 Caprice classic exhaust goes everywhere because every 81 Caprice classic needs a ring job And she's going to drive as fast as she can to the next dead guy's pile of crap in somebody's front yard And friends that happens every saturday Of every month across our country all the time

is that it our legacy five bucks albert pike was a free mason many many decades ago and he said this and he said this, what you do for yourself in this life dies with you. What you do for another lasts forever and remains immortal. What I might add to that is when you give of your time, yourself, your effort, your riches, you can do that while you're living and you can witness the appreciation of your legacy rather than leaving it after you're dead. And you can leave it in totality to 100% of the people you come in contact with and you don't have to divide it up, but you can give that all to everyone and you can see the rewards of that legacy, your legacy of your service, the legacy of your philanthropy, the legacy of your time, the legacy of giving. That's the beauty of a true legacy built on service and commitment and care and concern

for your fellow man. You don't have to divide it up and you don't have to leave it after you're dead and therefore you can experience it while you're giving it. Our legacy has got to be worth more than five bucks folks. And you have an opportunity to build that legacy and share that legacy today starting tomorrow so that's shop talk number 34 don't let your legacy be worth more please make your legacy before four and five bucks if you have shop talk ideas, you can email me anytime at bill at normal folks dot us. And if I have something to offer, I will share it and try to try to add something to it. Please subscribe

to the podcast, please rate us and review us. Please think about becoming a premium member. Share us with friends and on social. Do any and all of these things that can help us grow an army of normal folks, that can help us grow shop talk, that can help us grow an army of normal dead folks. All of this stuff we're bringing to you, the more people we have, the more impact and the more ability we have to continue to do the show for you. Out of those who buy Christmas trees, 64% are artificial right now. Then 64% of the people celebrate a communist Christmas. Did you just look that

up? That is ridiculous. 64%. Is that real? Out of those who buy trees. So, I mean, there's actually a decent amount who aren't buying them too. Well, okay. So at the end, the call is this. Go back to a real American Christmas, put put plastic crap up in the corner of your stop swearing. Jeez. What who swore crap? Come on. Give me a break.

PBS actually has a breakdown of how Republicans and Democrats buy trees. What is it real? I'm not even I want to guess, but I'm not gonna guess. I want you to read it, look at this. Well, here's the thing. Republicans being more rural, I would bet more Republicans have real trees. That's not a thing, but here it is.

Okay. Oh my gosh. I cannot believe this poll exists. I wasn't looking for that, but that's what popped up. Artificial 55%, no tree 22%, real tree 21%. That's a total of 98% so those two people are not living. But anyway, you ready for this? Democrats, real tree. Oh my gosh, I was wrong. I'm so proud of the Democrats. 24% of Democrats have real trees, 16% of Republicans. 44% of Democrats have artificial trees, 63% of Republicans have artificial trees.

26% of Democrats have no trees, 21% of Republicans have no trees. So the Democrats are absolutely kicking the Republicans butt on non-Communist Christmas. Hats off to the blue party. I love it. GOP, you got some work to do. You're listening to me. Communist Christmas. You're losing on the polls. That's Shop Talk number 34. Guys, thanks to our producer, R-Lite Labs. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you next week. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric.

Well, the election is in the home stretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Estet Herndon. But we're also gonna have some fun, thanks to some of my friends, like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God.

We're gonna take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.