An Army of Normal Folks - Dr. Rhonda Smith: I Use Your Podcast in My Classes! (Pt 1)

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Professor Rhonda has assigned listening to and reflecting on our podcast to over 400 of her college students. And just wait until you hear her story that led to an extraordinary life of purpose.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This person shows Luke Mickelson. Always one of my favorite. Oh shoot, I shouldn't say that. Y'all are all my favorite. But Luke Mickelson is particularly interesting. Sleep in heavenly peace, right? I can't believe I remember that. Luke, I remember you.

Go ahead. This person shows this particular episode because many of my friends were resorting to using two or three blankets on the floor to find comfort for the night. Because they didn't have a bed as a child. Lived experience, yep. And she said it indeed starts with ordinary people living their everyday lives, setting off a domino effect of positive change. Welcome to an Army of normal folks.

I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis and that last part somehow led to an Oscar for the film about our team. It's called Undefeated. Guys, I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice suits talking big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks, us, just you and me deciding, hey, I can help.

That's what Dr. Rhonda Smith, the voice we just heard, has done. Rhonda teaches social work at the University of Southern Mississippi and she's using an army of normal folks, our podcast and her classroom. That means the world to us. And there's so much more to her story that we're about to get to right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Cassettes burned, you could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet, Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating

their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. The joy they brought to the nation. You're free completely. No one is there to destroy you. I'm John Legend.

Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. They led me into the house and I mean it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table.

The cops were guarding him. Stacey learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. You not just say I wish he was dead, he actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He to me is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. He, to me, is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

My name is Ariel. I moved to the US at 19. I spoke no English and I struggled finding job opportunities. Everything I have, I owe to the Adult Literacy Center and getting my high school diploma at age 22. It was an honor helping you achieve your greatness. Now you're helping others achieve theirs. It inspires me. When you graduate, they graduate. Find free and supportive adult education centers near you at finishyourdiploma.org. Brought to you by Dollar General Literacy Foundation and the Ad Council. Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult,

a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. We're back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult one life lesson at a time. And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you. So let's figure this stuff out together.

This season, we're going to talk about whether or not we're financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership. We're going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account. And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party? All that plus so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Grown Up Stuff.

It's weird calling you Dr. Rhonda Smith, but I'm going to give you props. What's up Dr. Rhonda Smith? I'm just here talking to Mr. Bill Courtney. Rhonda, I first met you in Nashville at a Do Gooder conference. It was. Yeah. Yeah. And you walked up, you introduced yourself, and you had your bright smile, and you told me something that we're going to reveal later that candidly was humbling to me. And I can't wait to reveal what you've done with an army of normal folks

and really the purposes of your visit with us today. But I do wanna tell you from the bottom of heart, I was really taken aback and humbled and we'll get to it, but a preface of thanks for making me feel like this stuff matters a little bit. Oh, it matters more than you know. Well, I hope that is true. So Rhonda, Mississippi girl.

Mississippi. By way of Mexico. Huh, kinda. Do I sound like I'm from Mexico? Not even a little bit. Because I wasn't. And you don't look it either. That's right.

Fair skin, blonde hair, and you're not from Mexico. And I guess I might as well say it, in the audience today is your mom and your dad. And they have something to do with the Mexico story, which we're going to get into. They do. But introduce the audience of An Army of Normal Folks to your folks. Okay.

Tell them who they are. Well, my mom and my dad are here. They've been married for going on 56 years. You must do what you're told. In two weeks. Good man. Yeah. Yes, ma'am, you are right. That a boy. That's right. That's Robert. Yes. 56 years they'll be married. And so they have always been my greatest supporters and the best role models that anybody could ever had. I grew up just kind of a white picket fence family. I can't think of anything that I would could complain about. Just always really close to my family and had everything that I needed and most things

that I wanted, you know. Middle class didn't have a lot of money, but dad worked really hard. He's an engineer. Mom stayed home with kids and just a normal regular childhood. How many siblings? One sister, younger, five years younger. Got it. Does that make you feel good to hear? Yes. I hope my kids, I hope my kids if they ever ask about me one day, say that about me. I'm looking at your eyes and that's got to make you feel, you should be proud, right?

Oh yeah. We're very proud. That's awesome. That's great. And they're from Laurel, Mississippi. Yes, that's where they live now. So how in the hell does a family from Laurel, Mississippi, the white picket fence in a great neighborhood growing up good to have it end up in Mexico?

Well, dad was a... He's an engineer by trade and so he's, you know, highly... He was sought after for, you know, for different companies. And he was working, this was back in the eighties, working for Sunbeam Corporation and they had a plant down in Matamoros, Mexico. And so he was down there working at that plant for... Sunbeam, is that like toasters and stuff? Yep.

So as an engineer, he was engaged in manufacturing throughput, efficiencies, and things like that running a manufacturing facility. So he was down there. He was down there working with a lot of headaches. And you guys were there. When you say he was there, your family was there. Yes. We actually grew up in Houston, Texas. I grew up in Houston, Texas. He had lived, we had lived there before that for about 10 years. Yeah. And then he was transferred down to that plant down. We lived in Brownsville, right outside Brownsville in a little town called Los Fresnos. And so we lived there. He drove across

the border every day. Which is typical for the Mexican border towns and it's actually typical or used to be, I don't know what it is like now, for Mexican nationals to come across and work in the states. I mean that border was crossed often daily by people working across the border of both countries. That's what your dad was doing. So why'd y'all get kicked out? He got kicked out. So why'd y'all get kicked out? He got kicked out. What happened? Okay, so he had gone down to the manufacturing plant in Chihuahua, Mexico for a business trip and ended up falling ill from Montezuma's Revenge, if you know what that is.

I do. It's lots of vomit and everything else that goes along with that. Vomit, fever, yuck. Bad water, typically. Bad water. Or tainted chicken or fish Vomit, fever, yuck. Bad water, typically. Bad water. Or tainted chicken or fish. Yeah, a lot of yuck. So he spent about five days in the hospital.

And when he went back to work, still didn't feel good. He had had a really high fever. He was telling this story recently and said that his brain really wouldn't just write when he went back to work. His brain was fried a little bit from the fever, so he wasn't feeling his best. So he goes down there and, you know, there's some office politics in a lot of places like that, as you know, right? So he's working in his office and someone comes in and says,

Robert, you got to see what they're doing in your car. He says, what do you mean? What are they doing in my car? So he goes to take a look and he opens the door and there's a adolescent young man selling tacos off of the hood of my dad's car. And so little tins of, you know, sauce and lettuce and tortillas and all over the hood. Oh, it's a buffet. It's a buffet on the hood of the car. On the hood of your car. There's that.

And then there's a bicycle beside the car, leaned against the car with the metal angle iron handlebars and a pot of taco meat on the back that has rubbed a large, the paint was gone off of the side of the car. And so he of course says, what are you doing? This is my car. You can't do this of the car. And so he, of course, says, what are you doing? This is my car. You can't do this to my car. And the kid looks at him and says, what? And so he goes, puts his hand on the bicycle,

and he says, what do I do with a bicycle once I have it in my hand? You throw it down. You don't lean it back against your own car, right? You throw it down on the ground. So he did, threw it down on the ground. And then he's like, well, I guess I'll clean the rest of the tacos off my car. So he cleans the tacos off of his car onto the ground they go.

And in your sweet disposition of telling this, I'm imagining a little bit of frustration and anger that accompanies all these actions. Sure. He was a little angry. Yes. All right. So he gets the tacos and the bike off his cart. What's the big deal? So he goes back inside and is cleaning the sauce off of his clothes.

Yeah. Cause now he's like, oh gosh, now what? And, uh, he said about 10 minutes later, the president of the company, that, that, uh, plant walks in his office and says, Robert, what have you done? And the people in the plant were going to go on strike because you have just destroyed this boy's only way to make a living. have just destroyed this boy's only way to make a living. You're a rich American gringo and you have destroyed this boy's livelihood. What have you done? And you need to leave.

I think you need to leave right now." And he's like, well, okay, I guess I'll leave. And so he goes to walk out the door. And right as he walks out the door, there's a pickup truck full of large Hispanic men with cowboy hats and they see him walk toward the door and they stand up. They're in their pickup trucks. And so he's like, uh, I don't think I'll go that way. So he turns around and comes back in and goes and tells his boss, I don't think I can go. And he said, well, he probably said a bad word at that point.

And he had his car, his boss had his car out back at the loading dock and said, you take my car across the border right now and I'll bring your car home. I'll try to bring your car home tonight." Because he also lived across in the United States. And so he did. Dad got in his boss's car, made it across the bridge, got back home. And about 10 minutes later, the Matamoros police arrived at the plant to arrest dad. And luckily he had already... So there's no going back to Sun Dame in Mexico? Oh, no, no, no. He didn't go to a Mexican restaurant for 10 years. So the funny part is, that's a funny story.

It wasn't funny at the time. I'm certain. But it actually led to, we got a role. We don't have the job at that plant anymore. And so that's what actually led y'all to get to Mississippi. Is that right? Yeah, there was a sunbeam plant in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. And so, hey, we'll just come over here. We'll transfer to Hattiesburg.

And so this was in between my junior and senior year of high school the summer. And so we loaded up, moved, but he got here and there was no job, no job for a chief engineer when he got here. So I remember I had a 64 and a half Mustang. That was my first car. That's cool. Yeah, it was cool. We loaded everything that we could carry in my car. My sister, we had the cat in a milk crate in the back seat, the dog in the back seat of my car.

My dad was pulling his boat with the dining room table in it with the... where you had, did you have a van at that time? So he had a van pulling the boat with the dining room table in it. My mom had the car loaded down with everything in it. And we caravan across three states for 12 hours. And then we'd stop somewhere in Louisiana and stayed overnight and then got to Hattiesburg. Finally, I didn't think that trip would ever end. It was a 23 hour trip, one way. Wow.

And they made three or four trips. They had to go back to get everything. Yeah. But now you're in Hattiesburg. We're in Hattiesburg. I started high school my last year, senior year. And Texas schools were much different than Mississippi schools. And so I basically already had most of my credits to graduate.

And so I had to take a couple of classes in high school. And then I did the rest of my day because back then you couldn't just do half. We're talking back in the 1900s, right? 1900s. Back in the 1900s. Yeah. Eighty-five-ish. Eighty-seven. Eighty-seven.

Mm-hmm. So I had to go to VOTEC to finish the rest of the day. Lovely. Yeah. So it was fun. I learned how to do office stuff. Like I learned how to type and do computer stuff. And so that's kind of where I thought my career, you know, that's what

I was going to do when I grew up. I was just going to do that office thing because I was really good at it. And so now you've graduated high school, you're in Hattiesburg, I assume by then your folks settled in and eventually found a job. They actually moved to Laurel. Which is what? How far from? 30, about 30 minutes. Not far. Right.

Yep. Found a job and now. Settled in. The life for you is about to start. So I went to community college, got an associate's degree in business office technology, had some really good teachers, got really, really, really blessed and got an internship at Mississippi Power Company. I stayed there for eight and a half years.

Yeah. So you got your undergraduate, you got your associate's degree, your Mississippi Power, life is good, family settled, there's no Mexicans after you trying to kill you anymore. And you get married. When did you get married? 1999. 99. And how long had you been at Mississippi Power at that point? Since 93. What's that?

Since 1993. Okay. So going down life again. And you have a kid. Yeah. I got married in March of 99 and had Caitlin the next April. Perfect. April 14th. So life is perfect.

And if I remember the story correctly, he had like a tree cutting business and was making good money and you had a house and cars and you're on your way. Yeah. Except. Except. Tell us about the except. Except Roger started drinking a lot of alcohol. I don't know, looking back, I wondered what sparked the increase in intake, you know, like, you know, it was more than just social drinking. It became a nightly

thing, started out with beer, and then it started out with the big, the large beer, and then- Went from a 12 ounce to a 40. Went to a 40, yep. And then it went to a couple of 40. And then when he started bringing the Bacardi rum in, you know, I knew it was gonna be kind of a rough night. And then when he would bring dark liquor in,

it was gonna be a really bad night. And that morphed into drugs? Yep. So, what was his affect when he got drunk? Very angry. It became very angry. It started out with just insults here and there about things that I couldn't do right or the way that I looked or the things that I should have done better or

That the people didn't really like me as much as I thought they did you think they're your friends just breaking you down Oh, yeah manipulation But then it got more than verbal. Absolutely. As it often does. Mm-hmm. And now a few messages from our generous sponsors. But first, I'm excited to announce

that we're hosting a live interview in Memphis on Saturday, July 20th. And I'd love for you to join us. It's with Russell Butler, better known as the Dancing UPS Man. Russell once was close to committing suicide and he'll share his powerful redemption story which led to his dance ministry that accidentally has gone viral. This guy's got 1.5 million followers on TikTok and a million on Instagram.

You will love meeting him and I'd love meeting you too. You can learn more and RSVP at dancingupsman.eventbright.com. Once again, www.dancingupsman.eventbrite.com Once again, www.dancingupsman.eventbrite spelled E-V-E-N-T-B-R-I-T-E.com. www.dancingupsman.eventbrite.com We'll be right back. We'll be right back. When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence. Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.

You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet, Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. The joy they brought to the nation. You're free completely.

No one is there to destroy you. I'm John Legend. Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford

to hide behind. It led me into the house, and I mean, it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table. The cops were guarding him. Stacey learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. He did not just say, I wish he was dead.

He actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He, to me, is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer. I owe to the adult literacy center and getting my high school diploma at age 22. It was an honor helping you achieve your greatness. Now you're helping others achieve theirs. It inspires me. When you graduate, they graduate. Find free and supportive adult education centers near you at FinishYourDiploma.org. Brought to you by Dollar General Literacy Foundation and the Ad Council. The Black Crows, Thomas Rhett, Victoria Monet, and more. Get tickets to our 2024 iHeart Radio Music Festival, presented by Capital One, right now, before they sell out.

At AXS.com. Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. Here's a clip from an upcoming episode featuring the weekly home checks, Keyshawn Lane, that you won't want to miss. A common mistake that a lot of people do, they use fabric softener when it's not so great for your clothes. Should we never be using fabric softener?

No, you should not ever be using fabric softener. It leaves a deposit on our clothes, which is also left in the machine. And it also makes the clothes highly flammable. Wait, what? Yes. What you want to do instead is just use a quarter cup of vinegar. And that'll make them softer? That'll make them softer.

And if you want some kind of scent, you can use essential oils. Wow, wow, wow. Catch new episodes of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult every other Tuesday on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. So how long did you endure this? It was mostly verbal up until the last six months or so. And it started out very subtle, you know, just a little push here or there. And of course, we don't tell anybody because you can't tell anybody.

Especially back in those days. Oh, no. And you for sure don't tell parents because you can't tell anybody. Especially back in those days. Oh no, and you for sure don't tell parents because if you tell parents then Christmas will never be the same. You know. And you have a daughter. And yeah. And you're still trying to protect your organic perfect little family. Absolutely.

Yeah. You don't want anyone to know. And that's the cycle. That's the way that it works. Don't people eventually know when you show up with a black eye? I never had that. Not until the very end. The very end. He knew how to leave marks. The marks were on the inside. Were you dying on the inside?

Absolutely. Were you thinking I got to get out? Many times. But you didn't? Didn't know how. How do you not know how? It's not as easy as you would think. Talk about that.

There are people listening to us right now who are going through it. Sure. You know, I'm a very strong personality and very strong willed. My parents will tell you that I'm very strong-willed. And so, I would never think that I would ever be in that situation that I could not get myself out of a situation like that. So, it's hard for me to even imagine that I'm that same person. But looking back at it now, I can see how that happens very slowly.

It starts just like I explained it. It starts with the little things. And you hear the voice that says, you can't, no one will help you, no one loves you, no one's gonna care, no one likes that. You're not gonna be good enough to do that. And so then you start believing those things because that's what you hear because that's what we are. We're product of what we hear around us. And so when that's what

the person that you're pledged to, right, is telling you, that's what you begin to believe. And so there's like a transformation on the inside that just happens. And so you lose that faith in yourself and you're just kind of beat down. And so it's just a lot harder to make a plan. And I was scared to death because I had a child who was small. She was less than two at this point. And he always told me that he would leave and take her and I would never find him.

And I believed him because I could see that he would be capable of living off the grid. He would just go somewhere and I would never find him. Back then, I mean, we didn't have the resources that we do now with cell phones and being able to find somebody probably as much as we could nowadays. So I believed him. And so, it was probably my fear of what he might do versus what he actually did. talk What was the incident that was the straw that broke the camel's back that actually finally

got you enough courage and temerity to say, I'm done? It built and built. There were several incidents where I would try to leave the house and he would physically wrestle my daughter away from me. That had to have been worse than getting hit square in the mouth. Oh yeah. I would have rather him hit me square in the mouth than have that fear inside of me. That and the words that he would say say I would much rather be hit than have the words Said that were said to me

the words were worse oh I Don't know that I can repeat them all the air like oh You're just just insults you're just, just insults. You're just a bad, deep cut. No one loves you. They're all fake. All your friends are fake. They don't care anything about you.

You know, just breaking you down. Oh yeah. Again, Rhonda, I know this is the most scarring, traumatic, difficult time in your life and we're gonna get to the fun stuff. But I think it's really important for two reasons. One, you can be an inspiration to people who are out there going through this. And there are people listening to us right now without any shadow of a doubt in my mind that are being abused, whether it's physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or some

of all of those combined. Typically, maybe even all of them. The second thing is, I really think it speaks to where you garnered your empathy for what you do professionally now. So it's germane. But back to it, what was the final straw? So, But back to it, what was the final straw? So shortly before September 11th, it wasn't very long before that, we had some kind of a

disagreement. Something happened. Either he came in drunk and told me that a lady had cut him off in traffic and he chased her down on the road and said, you don't know who you're dealing with. I could cut your throat right now. And I looked at him like, what is wrong with you? Like that is, I don't know who you are. And he took offense to that, that I would question why he would even do that. He probably saw you on her side. Yeah, he did.

That's how manipulators think. Right. And so he backed me up against the door, the back door to our house and put his middle finger in my face. And he said, this is what you're saying to me right now. F you, F you. And he just kept screaming it and screaming it and screaming it for probably 20 minutes, just as loud as he could do it. And I just remember thinking, I have got to get out of this. And there were several times that I remember holding Caitlin,

because she was little. And I would say, I cannot live in this situation, or she will think this is OK. And I don't ever want her to feel the way that I feel right now, ever. And if she grows up in this situation, she's going to think it's normal. So if not for you, for her. For her.

So I knew I had to get out. I just didn't know how to do it really. And I knew if I told them, somebody was... Meeting parents. Parents. Somebody was probably going to jail. Like, it would not go well if I told them everything at that point, you know. I got to believe parents who've been married 56 years and raised their children and love

and know their children, they might have not known everything, but my guess is they knew some anyway. Oh, yeah. They knew some. Yeah. They might have not known everything, but my guess is they knew some anyway. Oh, yeah. They knew some. They knew some. They didn't know the extent of all the details. So, did you go file for divorce after that day? Not after that. That's not the one. Well, tell me the one. Okay. So, I left him shortly after that. He had a big job to do, and so he was gone one Sunday. I went to church, told my pastor what had happened, or my pastor's wife, and they sat

me down and said, I don't know what has to happen, but you need to get to safety. So I went home. I knew he would be gone for X amount of time. I went home, packed up as much stuff as I could in my car and I went home. I went to their house. I went to my parents' house and I stayed there for about a week. Here comes the call. I'll change. I'll quit. I'm so sorry. Please come back to me, baby. That's right. That's what they all do. That's what they all do. I'll go to counseling.

I'll stop. I'll get sober. And he did, well, for a short period of time. So the month of September, he was doing all the right things, of course. And for anyone who is struggling with this and in that cycle of abuse, the things that I know now that I didn't know then, right, the things that I know now, it's a cycle. And all of those voices are still in your head. You're not okay still.

And so- You're still traumatized. You're still very traumatized. You're still very traumatized and you still want your, you want the idea of the marriage and the person that you fell in love with. You still want that person. And the image of what you saw in your parents, which was the idyllic deal. Right. Yes, absolutely. And so he says, will you go with me to my class reunion in Houston?

We'll be at my mom's house. Everything will be fine. It's just going to be a trial weekend. I'm not asking you to move back home. I'm just saying let's go for the weekend to my mom's house. And I'm like, what could go wrong? We're going to be at his mother's house. David I'm like, what could go wrong? We're gonna be at his mother's house. Right.

So... I'm curious, what did your parents say when you said, I think I'm gonna go do a trial weekend at his mom's house? They probably told me don't. I would've had to. But I don't remember exactly what they said. I'm looking at them, they're shaking their head.

They're like, no, don't go. Don't go, don't go. But you're a grown woman, you're a mother and you're still married. And again, you've got all this stuff going on in your head. So I get it. You go to Houston, you're going to be at his mom's house. There's some safety and going to give them a shot. Right. Let's see what you do. Because you have empathy and care and you're hoping that maybe. Maybe. Because I do believe that people can get better. I've always believed that. If I didn't, I would not be a very good social worker at this point, right? So I believe that he could. But once we got there, we went, everything was fine. We flew over there. This is right after September 11th. So it was, it was interesting, to say the least. We got to the class reunion and I stopped counting after his 18th wild turkey and coke.

Oh boy. We'll be right back. When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence. Radios were smashed, cassettes burned. You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet, Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off.

The joy they brought to the nation. You're free completely. No one is there to destroy you. I'm John Legend. Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband,

doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. They led me into the house and I mean, it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table. The cops were guarding him. Stacey learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed.

He did not just say I wish he was dead. He actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He to me is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Snakes, zombies, sharks, heights. Speaking in public, the list of fears is endless. But while you're clutching your blanket in the dark, wondering if that sound in the hall was actually a footstep,

the real danger is in your hand, when you're behind the wheel. And while you might think a great white shark is scary, what's really terrifying and even deadly is distracted driving. Eyes Forward, Don't Drive Distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine,

understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. We're back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult one life lesson at a time. And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you. So let's figure this stuff out together. This season, we're going to talk about whether or not we're financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership. We're going to figure out the benefits of a high-yield savings account. And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?

All that plus so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We got back to his mother's house at three something in the morning, not by my choice. I had not had a drink. You know, I've never done drugs a day in my life. Never smoked marijuana. Like, I barely drank, barely.

So this is foreign to me. And so we get to his mother's house and I don't know if he had taken something else in the process of that party, but he lost his mind, became very violent. lost his mind, became very violent. It was just, I saw stars when my head hit the floor. And I thought, this is it. This is how I'm going to die. And I almost felt a peace, but I thought, this is how it, this is the end. This is how it's going to end.

Where was Kaila? She was in the third bedroom, sleeping in a crib. And so I made my way to her because at this point she heard the ruckus woke her up. And so I went in there to keep him from getting her because I thought, okay, we're in his territory now. I don't know where he would go. And he's drunk. And if he gets the car keys, like, I don't know what's going to happen.

So I went into the room that she was in, got her out of the crib and I put her on the floor and I just laid my body over her and just kind of shield her. And he ended up somehow wrestling her away from me and held her up over his head and said he was going to beat me to death with her. Oh gosh. And his mom came in, she's little bitty. She's probably about five feet tall. She's tiny.

She came in to try to intervene and he that pulled his attention away from me to her and so he wailed on her for a little while and Then she somehow got Caitlin away from me and she ran outside and hid Somewhere in the woods with Caitlin meanwhile Her husband which his mom's husband had called the Sheriff's Department, he was older gentleman, so he really wasn't much help as far as muscle goes. So he called the Sheriff's Department in the meantime, and they finally got there. It seemed like forever. And I just remember going through the house to try to get away, looking for a place to hide.

And I remember walking into her bathroom, in her bedroom. I went down this long hallway into her bathroom and I was looking around and all I could see was ceramic tile. And my thought was, was if he comes in here, he'll for sure kill me in here because this tile is hard. That was my thought. Isn't that strange? It's not only strange, but it's traumatic. Yeah. But that was the thought. It was a survival. Like, where do I go to survive? And I turned around to leave that bathroom because I thought if I'm in this bathroom, I will not survive this. And when I turned around to leave the bathroom, I ran straight into a sheriff's deputy.

Thank goodness. And the first thing I said... It's funny that you just saw it like that because I was thinking that had to have been a complete and utter release of emotion for you like I'm gonna live. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you just sighed like it was yesterday. I feel like it was yesterday. Yeah. What'd the sheriff say?

I just said, where's my daughter? I just said, where's my daughter? And he said, there's a kid? I mean, they didn't know anything. They didn't know what they were walking into. And I just said, yes, there's my daughter is somewhere. Where is she? And I had no idea. I didn't even know that his mom had taken her.

I didn't know. And so I don't really remember a lot that happened immediately after, except walking outside of the house and Roger was sitting on the kitchen cabinets, smoking a cigarette, talking to the sheriff's department saying, Rhonda, tell them that I didn't do anything. Just tell them that nothing happened. He was calm as a cucumber, you know, tell him nothing happened. And I just kept walking. And just went outside. Well, if you were seeing stars, there was clearly marks on you that something had happened.

Please tell me they took him to jail. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they took him to jail. He actually resisted. He fought them. Good. Maybe they gave him a few knuckle bumps. I don't know. I hope they did. I don't know. I hope they did. I don't know if they did or not. Back in those days, they probably did. They probably did.

They probably whooped on his ass just a little bit like he deserved. They probably did. Yeah, they probably did. So after that, I had enough wherewithal to know that I had to get home before he did. And so when I left to get to go to the airport, I took his driver's license and his credit card. That a girl. So he couldn't get on the airplane.

And so you got back and that was that. I got back and by the time I called my parents like at five o'clock that morning and so they knew something bad had happened. Um, so I think my plane landed at two that afternoon, two or three. By the time I got back to the house that we had, that we had lived in, there was a U-Haul truck backed up to the door and there were many, many, many friends of mine from the power company that were loading up furniture. I love it.

Robert thought, hell, I put the dining room table on the back of a boat one day. I can sure get a U-Haul truck move across town. Yes. I am so sorry to see tears coming out of your eyes. And I don't, you know, I drug this story out of you, but it's for a purpose because you've been through it. Yeah. Another happy thing that happened, my dad was packing up the kitchen and he picked up

the, you know, the little plastic tray that holds the utensils. He picked up the plastic tray and there was $3,000 that Roger had been sticking under there. I didn't even know it was under there. And I think you said, jackpot. And that paid the divorce attorney. That a girl. I love it. It did.

So jackpot. Yeah. I get paid the divorce attorney and you're about out. Did it make you feel safe when you landed and saw your parents and then you got to You're about out. Did it make you feel safe when you landed and saw your parents and then you got to the house and hear all these people that are coworkers helping you? Did that in some way dispel the notion that you really didn't have people that cared about you?

Or was it so baked into you? Oh, it took a long time. I think the part that I finally took a deep breath, but it was so jarring to me. And it almost made everything come to a reality that, oh, everybody knows now. When I got off of the airplane and I was, I think my shirt, my t-shirt had blood all over it still because I didn't bring a lot of clothes. It was an overnight trip, you know? And so I got off the airplane and, you know, I was traveling with a two year old and so she's on my hip and she was traumatized too, just not knowing what was going on.

And people on the airplane were looking at me funny because of course I'm, I blood, I didn't have time to shower. I had to get to the airport. So I'm on the airplane. I know I looked horrible and I'm coming down the hallway in the Jackson, Mississippi airport and there are my parents at the end to pick me up. That was the hardest part. Because you knew that they knew? Because I knew that it broke their heart to see me that way. That was the worst part. See, just that speaks to who you are. That the worst

part of being beaten and battered and bloodied and used up was that you were more worried about breaking your parents heart. That in and of itself speaks to just who you are as a person and how sweet you are. Well, you don't. That's another reason you don't want to tell people everything, right? Because you don't want them to know how hard it is. You don't want to break their heart. No, you don't. But you also don't want your head broken either.

That's true. So the basis of who Rhonda is at this point is someone who's working at the Power and Light Company or the Mississippi Power, who has a two year old daughter who grew up in this organic, beautiful picket fence family whose major trauma before this point in their life was having to move out of Houston to Hattiesburg, which I gotta admit, it's probably pretty traumatic at 16 or 18 years old or whatever it was.

But now the basis of who you are is this sweet person who's got this incredible amount of empathy and phenomenal maternal instincts Probably as a result of the way she was raised by this awesome family full of love and care who has now been traumatized yeah, who has a Associates degree in like professional business crap or something. I don't know what it was called. Pretty much, yeah.

Yeah. And that is nowhere near the end of the story. That's just the beginning. Yep. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Dr. Rhonda Smith. And you do not want to miss part two, that's now available to listen to as the redemption part is coming. Together guys, we can change the country, but it's going to start with you. I'll see you in part two.

This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The joy they brought to the nation. You're free completely. No one is there to destroy you. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. I'm John Legend. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal Podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Justin Rutherford, doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover to hide behind.

Detective Weaver said, I'm sure you know why we're here. I was like, what in the world is going on? Listen to Betrayal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our iHeartRadio music, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our iHeartRadio music festival presented by Capital One. Coming back to Las Vegas. Tonight.

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and more. Don't miss your chance to get tickets to our 2024 iHeartRadio Music Festival presented by Capital One right now before they sell out at AXS.com. That's AXS.com. That's AXS.com. Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out

the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.

Grown Up Stuff. Snakes, zombies, sharks, heights, speaking in public, the list of fears is endless. But while you're clutching your blanket in the dark, wondering if that sound in the hall was actually a footstep, the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. And while you might think a great white shark is scary, what's really terrifying and even deadly is distracted driving. Eyes forward, don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council.