An Army of Normal Folks - Erin Smith: Advocating for Thomas (Pt 2)

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

Thomas is a foster child who’s been physically and sexually abused. He never had an adult advocate until Erin Smith stepped in. Erin is the founder of the North Mississippi CASA program – a program which nationwide has 85,000 volunteers who advocate for 260,000 foster kids in the legal system and in life. But there are still 140,000 kids who need the Army's help.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/support-1See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney again with an army of normal folks. Let's continue with part two of our conversation with Aaron Smith from Casa of North Mississippi and Thomas actually met. It's not normal that we would get involved in a child that is ever-a-team. So Thomas came to school here, which I think this would be pretty interesting to hear for other people. Thomas came to school here as a child that's been in foster care for a majority part of his life.

One would think that come into college since only less than 3% of children that are in foster care make it to college and less than half graduate high school. And so when he came here, he was under the impression aside from the scholarships he received, that he would not have to worry about any funding. And that's not been the case. And so he struggled to get in the classes that he needed to.

And you know, for, I guess a year ago, when he came here, he started out doing decent in his classes, but Thomas realized what freedom was. And so, didn't do so well, his first semester. Thomas, add free freshmen. Yeah. Not just to you. But usually, a refreshment has somebody to fall back on. That's true. Whereas he did not.

You have a job. I do, yeah. What do you do? I work for Tide. It's a cleaning service on campus. And? I drive around this big orange truck and I get the students like laundry bag

and I throw it to the back and I take it to the laundry mat. You work at the ticket office there? $13 an hour. Okay, I do that during the summer. What did you say? He works at the ticket office too. I mean, another thing also,

I mean, CPS, like during the school year, mid-of-fault, I just said, how are you gonna pay for it? Yeah. And they asked me to look into private student loans, and I did, and because Mississippi's age of majority is 21, and with me being 18, I don't know how when he just get pal grants

and be done with it. He does, but doesn't fund all of the school. Yeah. What's funding the rest of the school? He received some scholarships. He received some COVID assistance. And his COVID assistance and his job and his job. But that's not that's not. No. Not $27,000 to go to school here. So Nicholas to say, we, we he did not do well at all. And really, I mean, pretty much gave up in the sparing. And so

that's kind of where we stepped in. And we were working on some things, some resources with the university. And so we had a meeting at the Chancellor's Office and I'm trying to get Thomas back on the right path. I didn't know anything about him as a matter of fact. I walked into the last scene, talking to him on the phone, and he's sitting right in front of me.

And neither one of us realized that we're talking to one another. That's gonna be funny. And so we walked in, we got our meeting and I'll never forget one of the first things that I asked him was, do you have one consistent adult in your life that you can depend on? And he said no. And that's, it's really stuck with me

simply because no child, no you, no adult, should not have somebody that they don't feel like they can depend on or feel like they can talk to. And it's only been really, I mean, three months since we've met each other and I feel like I have a little brother, but also, you know, somewhat of a son too. And I just, I talk about Thomas a lot to my staff and just, you know, how much he does mean to me. And like, I get excited for him when he tells me he made an A on his, on his class. Which he made his first A relationship. Yeah, he did, yeah.

But you and I know, I know Thomas knows too, but you and I know that freshman and sophomore courses are a long way from a degree. Absolutely. Oh, he's not getting out of college easy now. Yeah, but Thomas, I mean, cards just act against you, bro. Yeah. You're gonna try to be in the less than 3% percent.

Yeah. Can you do that? I know I can. And I'm... No, no, no, you're smart of that. Yeah. Can you handle yourself? I can, yeah.

Yeah. Um... What's gonna make the difference for you? I mean, I have Erin now. Like she said, I have a consistent adult now. I have somebody I can. Yeah, yeah. You sure?

I'm sorry. Now when you get this off, what about what she says something you don't like? That's happened. I mean, you're exactly that mean. Tell me about it. Oh, tell me that. You can't talk now Thomas.

Tell me about it. We have learned me that. You can't talk now Thomas. Tell me about it. We have learned very quickly that Thomas is not the best online class tiker. And as we're walking absolutely, I would be horrible, by the way, at online. That the Boersman can't sit there and read a computer. But I'm talking to you.

We're working on our budgeting and just some other, you know, life lessons. Well, how the hell are you supposed to budget money when you've never had? It's right. I know. I remember at Manassas, a kid I was coaching, we got a job on the weekends and he made like $260.

And I promise you that was the first time he'd ever seen $260 in place of his life. And he promptly went out and bought it $220 pair of shoes. And he had shoes, but he bought the $220 pair of shoes. And while I was there, he bought lunch and cookies for he and his three friends. And after working all weekend, he had a pair of shoes, a lunch and a buck 50 in his pocket when he showed up Monday. And I said, dude, are you for real? And he's like, yeah, I can afford it. I said,

you can afford. I said, my kids can't afford to choose that expensive. I said, how do you figure you can afford it? He said, I had it in my pocket. Not much budgeting going on there. Yeah. So that $150 you had didn't last long, I guess. No, and with my job, each paycheck is about a little bit over $500.

So it's... Every what week? Every two weeks, yeah. So you have a job. Yeah. And every what week? Every two weeks, yeah. So you have a job. Yeah. And you make 500 bucks every two weeks. Yeah. And you blew it at first.

Yeah. What'd you buy? What'd you get? Tell me the truth. What'd you spit it on? I mean, I'm a real big food person. So, and I don't like going to crowded places. I'd come forward.

You don't like crowded places? You don't like crowded places and you're big foodie. Yeah, Yeah. So I just what you do. I've got a Morton's. I'd spend a lot of money on those delivery fees. I had a constantly delivered food to my dorm. So we're worried about how we're going to forward tuition, but we're going to spend a whole bunch of money on a hamburger. Yeah. Yeah. Take some minute to figure out that doesn't work. Yeah, it does. So when you pointed that out, he didn't like it very much. No, but I mean, you know, I want to hand do I blame him? I mean, of course not. You know, I mean, it's it's absolutely awesome that you that we could sit here and actually talk a little tugging cheek about a serious issue, but what you get out of about, tell me. Well, he told me on the way up the stairs that he's gonna take all independent study classes.

And I said, no, you're not. And he said, yes, I am. I said, no, you're not. He says, who says I can? I said, I did. He said, well, that's all that's available. I said, don't you worry. We'll find a way to get you in the classes you need.

Did you get pushed off of that? Yeah, I don't think he's ever been mad at me before. But, but he was. Unless I don't answer the phone, he really likes to talk on the phone. But he was fuss was... Unless I don't answer the phone, he really likes talking the phone. But he was fussing with you. He always knows that I'm gonna win, so... And if he had figured it out now...

No. No. I'm just, I'm super thankful that we have one that I am able to be there for him. But two, that we just, what I feel like, he might disagree what I feel like we've developed just such a strong bond. I do talk to my parents and I just talk about just like what, he is the epitome of resilient addiction area. Just like everything that he's been through.

And I know that there's still some things that I don't know about. And I just think back and I'm like, gosh, I've had such a good life and there's so many people out there that haven't and it reminds me of why I do what I do but also like why when it turns five o'clock I don't mind to keep doing what I'm doing. That's awesome. I want to I want to ask you I think I think it's important that our listeners understand this. They said you were going to college and everything would be taken care of.

That's what I told you when I gave you the order to lose and drop you out with $150, right? Is that true? It's not. You were lied to. I was, yeah. No way. I had a full scholarship somewhere else. So I was a little mad, I was a little perturbed. Mid August, I mean, mid fall semester, I was told

by a person in the agency that the funding was cut short and that they would not pay for everything. And I was blatantly asked, how are you going to pay for it at 18 years old? And you were, you were sitting there saying, well, that's a question. You were going to ask them, yeah, how are you paying for this? And now they're asking you. And they told me to look into private loans. And so I did. And because I'm not 21 and that's Mississippi's age of majority, no private loan lender would lend to me like they would other people. So it's a different state.

It's hell grants, it's a job, it's everywhere you can scrounge up money and it's short. Yeah. So if anybody's listening to us today that wants to give to the Thomas College, it's been fair. That's right. Absolutely, right? Yeah. You know what?

You know what, I'm dead serious right now. All you've gone through and the resilience you've shown and the fact that you're here and trying I hope somebody is listening to this and reaches out to you Aaron That would be fitting So y'all after the interview Aaron said that we we get to share contact information Which is important because some of you may be inspired to reach out to help Thomas. Or maybe you have questions about starting your own CASA program or at least becoming

a volunteer. If you're interested in hearing more from Aaron herself, her email is eSmith at casaofnorthmissacipi.com. That's eSmith at casaofnorthmissacipi.com. And her phone number, and she'll take your call, is 662-832-4747. We'll be right back. So, there's these unserved people like you, or underserved. What does, what does, what does Kasa mean to those kids?

Oh, I would say it quite literally means everything. When you're in the system, there's, there's not a whole lot of care. It may seem that way when you're young, but once you get out of the toddler age, there are some workers who tell you, you know, your chances of adoption are quite limited because you're no longer a toddler or a baby. You're no longer something that adults can shape and to who they want to be. And you start feeling like a more of a burden,

even though you are their job, you start feeling like a job to the workers. And when I was assigned to Aaron and when she was put on my case, I didn't trust her at first because like a true pie. Yeah, I mean, like a lot of, you learn pretty early on in the system

that from the social workers, that trusting is not a good thing. You have a worker come to where you are and they say, I'm just gonna take you all to eat and they take you all to eat and then they bring you back to the office and the next thing you know, there's another worker coming back with all your stuff and you're moving somewhere else And you thought that you were just going out to eat

Wow And so I didn't I didn't trust her at all, but uh In fact, he didn't want to meet me. I did not I tried to cancel five minutes before I figured she was just another Another state worker who said they were going to do a whole lot of stuff and said they were gonna provide this But do the kids are the kids starting to understand that these are not state workers and state employees with their volunteers and once they Thond out that these people actually giving their time does it make a difference? It does yeah, it makes a huge difference

It makes children want to try at life. It gives them a little credibility with your unit. Yeah, it does. Little street cred from constant. Yeah, and much needed street cred. Yeah, I imagine. I mean, I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and I would imagine once I found out somebody was actually given their time, I would at least give them out somebody was actually given their time, I would at least

give them a half a second of a chance because they're not here because they have to be, or they're not here to get a check, they're here because they actually want to try. Now, I may still be a buttoum, but I'm at least give them a chance. Yes. I mean, is that right? That's right. Like I said, it really makes you want to try it everything. It gives you that parent to make proud.

And a lot of children don't have those parents. And what's the point in trying if you don't have someone to show that you made that A or you got into college or you got a scholarship. My dad left when I was four and I In no way Have gone through the the trauma or rough things you have and I am in all of you being in college on what you know Thank you but

My dad didn't have much to do with me and he died recently And I'm a 53 year old man and I still suffer on Father's Day. I was a pretty good athlete and my father held a couple of records in and around Memphis for many years and he always went to sports page and in high school I was good enough that a lot of my stuff was in the sports page. So, excuse me, so I knew damn good and well that he, and we share the same name. I knew damn good and well that he was reading the sports page and saw his son in the paper, achieving stuff.

Yet he never attended a single thing I ever played in and I let it in six sports in high school. So there's plenty of opportunities. And when you say that you get to a point when you don't have anybody to make proud, why even try, I do identify with that part of it. And it's real. And you do need somebody to care for you that's not paid to or obligated to, but they're doing it because they just have some love in their heart. And fortunately, I had some people like that in my life. Aaron.

Yes. So you and your volunteers are those people? Yeah. And I do want to say so I am paid staff, but. I'm born in first. I'm born in first. Right. And my understanding is you didn't really want to say, so I am paid staff, but... Thomas first. Right. And my understanding is you didn't really want to be paid staff.

That is true. I didn't know these things. I do research. And so you didn't really want to be paid staff, and for our listeners to understand, it was basically, no, you're going to take it and you did. But although you're paid staff, you didn't do this for a job.

That's right, yeah, actually when I started, I had no intentions of being employed by this program because I thought I was gonna be a volunteer serving on the board for the rest of my life. And really, as I had mentioned earlier, I knew that I was passionate about people, passionate about all walks of life. And I really, along the way, found what I was incredibly passionate about

that I don't mind doing 24-7. I don't mind doing, you know, any time of the day, any time of the night. But, you know, so what led me here. What does it mean to you, Thomas? What does it mean to you? It means everything. It means a lot to me,

not only for my future future until I turn 21, but also it's nice to know that people like Aaron will still be there for all the kids that will be in the system or who will join the system after I leave it. What's your degree in? What are you majoring in? Psychology with a minor in criminal justice. So what do you want to do? I want to go on to become a forensic psychologist and aid in the evaluation and the diagnosis

of specifically people who commit sexual assaults to children and make sure that they cannot file or claim criminal insanity and make sure they are cannot file or claim criminal insanity and make sure they are put in the right institution. And as you might guess, this career choice was inspired by Thomas's own story signingly as adoptive brother who sexually abused him, claimed criminal insanity. Say, I'm not nearly as politically correct as I should be.

I would say that's a whole sexually abusing kids, wrapping them with electrical cords and the things that you've had to go through. Young man, you have bared more than somebody on the face of this planet. You should have to bear in the fact that you're standing here with a smile on your face in college with dreams and goals is not only a testament to The human spirit, but he was an individual. You're an impressive kid. I know I wish you the best and What do you think you'll do with your spare time when you get older? I hope to start something quite like Kasa wherever I go,

but calls, I mean wherever you go, there's always gonna be children, there's always gonna be children who are abused, and there's always gonna be a need for somebody to counteract that abuse and show them that love is a real thing and that they do have a parent to make them try. Thomas, you were such a freaking problem child. You are a problem.

You should be putting a home and injected at eight years old to chill out because you were such a problem. You're an amazing kid. Thank you, Aaron. That's gotta be the payoff, right? It is. You know, I just wanted to follow up with, you know, you talked about how did he make it to college?

And Thomas is super humble when it comes to how smart he is. I think it's pretty evident. Yeah, well, I mean, he made a 35 on the reading portion of his ACT. And he's not gonna tell you all that. Yeah, well, I mean, he made a 35 on the reading portion of his ACT. And he's not gonna tell you all that. The highest score, perfect scores, 36. Where'd that come from? Honestly, don't know.

I didn't study for that. What's that? I didn't study for that. You know what? Maybe just maybe the silver lining behind all of it is somewhere in your genetics in the back that they at least left you a big massive beautiful brain. Thank you. You know, maybe that happened for you.

Maybe you can take that family heirloom. I hope so. I do too. We'll be right back. So do you like to read? I do, yeah. I quite enjoy it. Like fiction, nonfiction, old news. It sounds really boring, but I really like reading a nonfiction history. I like reading straight up history books.

That is not boring. I'm not that stuck. Do you ever watch a history channel discovery? I do. Like on the old ships and stuff. Yeah, I do. I love those things. I do. Well, so one of my degrees is in English and it was not because I care much about synod styagrams is because I like literature and also write. Then I wrote a book. So I enjoy writing.

And typically when you like reading, you also enjoy writing. Do you like to write? I do. Yeah. I mainly write poetry. Yeah. I recently started writing my own sort of autobiography.

Good. Great. Now there's a movie. I'm 10 point is in. Yeah. All right. So are you writing your autobiography? You know what?

I'm serious. When you finish that, I'm going to see it. Okay. All right. So let's make that deal for one day. Okay. But you're doing poetry, huh? Yeah.

I do. It's always been a great outlet for all of the numerous emotions that I felt going through the system. And it provides a sort of release for all that stress and anger and emotions. So it's a way to vent. It is, yeah. So what have you written? If you're in something recently, you got anything? Yeah, I wrote a poem. You got a poem? Yeah, I wrote a poem.

It's called What a Thing to Dream. What a Thing to Dream. Satya? No. You got it right there? Yeah, I do. I have it right here. What are you sure?

Yeah, sure. So it starts by saying, going from home to home, forever hating this endless Rome, told to keep the faith in hope, yet no one stayed to teach me to cope, wanting to speak up, yet who will listen, and if done, will'll even make a difference. All I truly desire is a mother's embrace and to see a smile on a father's face. To finally know that I can really call them my own. What a thing to dream and so far fetched it seems. For now, that's how I shall cope.

It is how I will keep my faith and hope. So written by Thomas. Well done, young man. Thank you. It's beautiful. Aaron, first time you read it, you cry? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I bet you're born like a baby.

Yeah, I like to cry a lot. Well, I got a hard outer shell, but I got a big selfie card. You know, Thomas, again, no comparison with all that you've dealt with, but there's a lot of people in this world that can identify with the wanting a mother's embrace and pride in a father's face, whatever line that was, a pair of phrasing that I'm having in front of me, but I think that was close. I don't want to screw up your poem. Oh, you're fine. And I mean, at the end of the day, I think, you know, that's what human beings want. They want to feel cared for. They want to feel safe.

They want to feel loved. And, you know, Aaron, really, that's what your organization does. It does. You try. A bunch of volunteers making a difference, a bunch of average folks, making a massive difference in the world. I am absolutely in awe of both of you, and Thomas, you're not ready yet,

but my hope is that you will join the army of normal folks. The problem is, I don't know that you can, because you're so abnormal. You're such a... you're an inspiration, young man. And Aaron, my goodness. Girl from Yazoo City grows up, divorce family, learns from her mom and her grandmother, comes to Ole Miss, joins a sorority,

does a little work for a philanthropy, and ends up starting a philanthropy serving kids across two counties, California, Mississippi, and changing lives. You are an absolute member of the Army of Normal Folks and it has been my absolute honor to meet you both. Thank you. Thank you. My voice. And thank you for joining us this week.

To join an Army of Normal Folks, go to NormalFokes.us and sign up to become a member of the movement. We would love to hear what you're doing in your community, and if there are stories you know about that you think we should tell, write me anytime at bill atnormalfokes.us. And if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe, rate, and review it, share it with friends and on social. All the things that can help us grow and army of normal folks.

I'm Bill Quentin. I'll see you next week. you