An Army of Normal Folks - For All The 50-Year Old Men Who...

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

For Shop Talk, Coach Bill reflects on Army member Erik Lokkesmoe's powerful article, "For All The 50-Year Old Men Who..." Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney with An Army of Normal Folks and welcome to Shop Talk number 58, Welcome into the Shop. Oh, there's Alex who just walked in. What's up? I've been here the whole time, but there you go. Oh, well, I'm trying to, you know, like some 1940s radio stuff. Maybe we should have. We're both too tired from that. You said you've been waking up at what 4 a.m. Every

Yeah, I'm dealing with all kinds of stuff and I'm trying to make this fun But this would be you stepping in and we need one of those You know from all that you're old enough to remember those 40s radio stuff, right? I just I've watched them on TV before yeah anyway I just I've watched them on TV before yeah anyway Sheptaught number 58 everybody we are continuing a little bit of our discussion on experimenting with No, we're not sorry Keep going yeah What we're doing for the next two weeks is we're going to feature powerful pieces of writing

from an army member named Eric Bloxmo. Eric has a substack titled Some Assembly Required and his first piece is titled For All the 50 Year Old Men Who... so we're going to dive into that right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. In 2012, 16-year-old Brian Herrera was gunned down in broad daylight on his way to do homework. No suspects, no witnesses, no justice. The call was horrible. I replayed it over in my head all the time. For years, Brian's family kept asking questions, while a culture of silence kept the case cold.

Snitches get stitches. Everybody knows it. Still, they refused to give up. I would ask my husband, do you want me to just let this go? He said, no, keep fighting. I told her I would never give up on this case. And then, after a decade of waiting, a breakthrough.

We received a phone call that was bittersweet because it's a call that we've been waiting for for a very long time. I'm Enrique Santos. This is Cold Case Files Miami, a podcast about justice, persistence, and the families who never stopped fighting. Listen to Cold Case Files Miami as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Evans, and on my podcast,

Behind the Bastards, we talk about the worst people in all of history. We've discussed a lot of horrible monsters in our time, but this week we have one of the very worst we'll ever talk about. David Berg, founder of a cult called The Children of God. We'll talk about all of his horrible crimes with special guest Ed Helms. He's not just like a weird religious cult leader. He was like fusing a bunch of hippie ideology

in with this kind of like evangelical Christianity Pentecostal preaching in the mid-century is a very weird guy. But yeah, I'll just get into it. Like nothing you just said makes sense. That doesn't say. Right. But that's the beauty of cults. Listen to Behind the Bastards on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places, through unforgettable love stories,

and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay, and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts. Every week I sit down with your favorite book lovers, authors, celebrities, book talkers, and more to explore the stories that shape us on the page and off. I've been reading every Reese's book club pick, deep diving book talk theories, and obsessing over book to screen casts for years. And now I get to talk to the people making the magic. So if you've ever fallen in love with a

fictional character or cried at the last chapter or passed a book to a friend saying you have to read this, this podcast is for you. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app. Apple podcasts are wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart podcasts, before social media, before the internet, before cable news, there was Alan Berg. You dig what I do.

You have a need. Unfortunately, you have no sense of humor. That's why you can't ever enjoy this show. And that's why you're a loser. He was the first and the original shock shot. That scratchy and reverent kind of way of talking to people. You're as dumb as the rest. That's, I can't take it anymore. I don't're as dumb as the rest. I can't take anyone.

I don't agree with you all the time. I don't want you to. I hope that you pick me apart. His voice changed media. His death shocked the nation. And it makes me so angry that he got himself killed because he had a big mouth. KOA morning talk show host Alan Berg reportedly

was shot and killed tonight in downtown Denver. He pointed to the Denver phone book and said, well, there are probably two million suspects. This guy aggravated everybody. From iHeart Podcasts, this is Live Wire, the loud life and shocking murder of Allen Berg. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A murder happens. The case goes cold. Then, over 100 years later, we take a second look.

I'm Paul Holes, a retired cold case investigator. And I'm Kate Winkler-Dawson, a journalist and historian. On our podcast, Buried Bones, we reexamine historical true crime cases. Using modern forensic techniques, we dig into what the original investigators may have missed. Growing up on a farm when I heard a gunshot, I did not immediately think murder. Unless this person went out to shoot squirrels, they're not choosing a 22 to go hunting out there. These cases may be old, but the questions are still relevant and often chilling. I know this chauffeur is not of concern.

It's like, well, he's the last one who saw our life. So how did they eliminate him? Join us as we take you back to the cold cases that haunt us to this day. New episodes every Wednesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Barry Bones on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, everybody. Welcome back. you get your podcasts. All right, everybody, welcome back. Shop talk number 58. Some assembly required. This first piece you're about to hear is

titled for all the 50 year old men who Eric recorded a performance of the Peace Force. And Alex is going to cue it and play it for you right now and then we will have a little conversation about it when it concludes. So now is Eric Oxmo performing for all the 50 year old men who? To all the boys who were told to grow up, to be a man, to get over it, stop crying, stop daydreaming, make mom proud, be the hero, fight back, and never show your true self. This one's for you. To the striver who spent 25 years chasing the paycheck and the position, who now sits in the corner office, holds the executive title,

wears the envy of others, but feels trapped, wondering if it was all worth it, and dreams about quitting to write that novel or open that restaurant. May you find courage. To the father packing up his daughter's car for college, wishing he could rewind the clock, to relive just one more dance recital or softball game, to grasp a little hand crossing the street, to hear bedtime giggles and comfort tears over teenage heartbreaks. May you find grace. To the husband who's afraid to say it out loud, I feel lonely. May you find comfort.

To the friend who believes his time has passed, that the finances will always be tight, that the pain will never leave, that the marriage will always be so hard, and that his heart may always feel broken. May you find hope. To the addict who wears the title of an admired doctor, but spends his days in a fog of shame, promising himself every night just one more time then it'll stop. May you find healing. To the artist still waiting year after year for the break, watching others less talented get the deal, the attention, the applause and wondering if it is him or will it be someone

else. May you find passion. To the daddy who silently wonders if his children will repeat the same mistakes he did, may you find peace. To the entrepreneur whose wife is begging for stability while he keeps chasing a dream that always stays just out of reach, May you find wisdom. To the single man who hasn't found love yet, who wonders if he ever will, who questions whether he can even love or be loved. May you find, truly find, love. To the husband whose wife no longer wears her ring, who doesn't look

up when he walks in the door and only reminds him of the running toilet in the guest bathroom. May you find joy. To the former athlete who puts pressure on his junior high son driving home in silence after a bad game, reminding the boy of all the trophies in the office. May you find humility. To the neighbor who feels a simmering resentment that his car isn't as nice, his house isn't as big, his lawn not as green, his vacation not as extravagant. May you find contentment. And to all the 50ish year old men who still believe the lies, who carry a shame like a backpack full of bricks, who think they're all alone. Who wish they could start over. Who wonder how they got here. To the ones who long for affection, admiration, appreciation. Who cringe when they look in the

mirror. Who ache for a true friend. Who think maybe just a few more dollars or one more good vacation will finally fix it. Who whisper in the dark. Am I needed? Am I wanted anymore? May you have assurance that you are not alone. Thanks for listening. So, Eric, thank you for what you wrote. And thanks for the narration. And I'm not sure if I want to crawl in a hole and cry or if I want to feel vindicated for about 20 things

I've done wrong in my life after listening to it. What do you think? Hey, it reminded me of the line from Henry David Thoreau. It does. Yeah, most men live lives of quiet desperation. Yeah What I really appreciate about it is we are broken we are broken from birth and So much of what we learn Wrongly about masculinity is we're supposed to be tough and

overcome at all and our hearts break and our feelings get hurt and our dreams get dashed and we also deal with depression and 50 years or more in this life you will get beaten about the head and shoulders plenty and those battle scars wear on your psyche and your heart and as I hear Eric I almost get this overarching feeling that hey guys we're not alone. We all feel some of the same stuff in one way or another. And it's okay to feel those things. And it doesn't make you less of a man or a failure

to deal with many of those types of emotions and thoughts and situations that Eric mentions. What I appreciate him talking and writing about it too is one of my favorite Bonhoeffer lines. Go back and listen to our Bonhoeffer episode. There's a paraphrase, but he basically says the problem of Christians is that they're lonely in their sins, whereas the sinners of the bar

have so much more fellowship with each other because they share everything. And so whether it's your sins, your that is a great line. Is it like, yeah, I mean, it's a paraphrase, but that's basically what he's saying. And yeah, I think if we all share stuff like this, we feel us alone. And it's not just us. I think even if you feel alone and you hear another man recite what Eric just recited,

you are reminded you're not alone. And your failures are okay. And the sun's gonna come up tomorrow and you just keep rolling. I particularly, a couple of the lines, and I'm paraphrasing now of Eric's, but one was the dad who makes his eight-year year old endure a quiet ride home, reminding his son of his own trophies in his cabinet, may you find humility. That line alone is how we create this desperate masculinity. And we got to be better for our own sons.

Yeah. One of my takeaways from the piece too is how you avoid some of those traps is by deciding what game you're playing. And this is something I've heard a lot of other podcasts say in the last two years that I've really reflected on is, is your game for power? Is it for money?

Is it for status? Is it for pleasure, sex? And so deciding. Or some combination of all. Yeah. And what's your God, right? Those things can be your God too. So, you know, for me personally, my game is the Catholic is trying to get into heaven and that's the game and that's easier said than done, right? I feel it every single day of trying to play these other games, but reminding myself of that, or it's something not a faith for you. I really like Jackie Robinson's line.

We talked about recently, a life is unimportant, except for the impact it has on other lives. So you can make that the game you're playing. You're impacting other people, right? But deciding what game you're playing and having it not be one of these traps of living is huge. And I think also on to kind of parlay on top of that Jackie Robinson line is, you know, where better or where more important is your influence

than in your own home. But in your own home is also where you get the most scars. Because we hurt the people closest to us. It's where our wives do stuff that hurt us. I mean, the line at my age now, the line of longing for another little hand across the street with as your children leave. Yeah, I mean, it's tough.

A guy like me with four children who he worships that are now adult-age children and all moved off and living out of this house, that new seasons of life can be jolting. And everybody's like, you know, the moms and, you know, the empty and all that, but hey, it it's me too. I it's it's the guy too. So, you know, at least your wife loves you.

You got that one, right? What's up? At least Lisa loves you. You got that one. And I love her too. So you're right. So for all the 50 year old men who maybe play that over four or five times and understand you're not alone.

There's choices every day to atone for the things you've done wrong. And for those of you who have people that love you, that you love, understand, gosh, every single day you have a chance to make a difference from Eric Locksmo, some assembly required, shop talk number 58 for all the 50 year old men who. Thanks Eric, that's good stuff. Alex, anything else before we leave? That's great. Thanks, Bill. Thanks, Eric. We'll see you next week. If you like this episode, rate it, review it. If you want to come up with some shop talk ideas, send me an email at bill at normalfolks.us

or alex at army at normalfolks.us. Join the podcast and I don't know, subscribe to it and do something else right? Follow us on all your favorite social channels, become a premium member, all the things. All these things that will help us grow an army of normal folks. That's Shop Talk number 58. One more time, Eric Loxmo, thanks for sharing. In 2012, 16-year-old Brian Herrera was gunned down in broad daylight on his way to do homework. No suspects, no witnesses, no justice. I would ask my husband, do you want me to stop? He was like, no, keep fighting.

After nearly a decade, a breakthrough changed everything. This is Cold Case Files Miami, stories of families who never stopped fighting. Listen to Cold Case Files Miami on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Robert Evans and on my show Behind the Bastards this week, we have one of our worst subjects ever, David Byrd, founder of the Children of God cult, who we'll be talking about with special guest Ed Helms. He's not just like a weird religious cult leader. He was like fusing a bunch of hippie ideology in with this kind of like evangelical Christianity Pentecostal preaching in the mid-century. He's a very weird guy.

Hmm. But yeah, I'll just get into it. Like nothing you just said makes sense. That doesn't say. Right. But that's the beauty of cults. Listen to Behind the Bastards on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like great shoes, great books take you places.

Through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay and this is Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts, where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page and off. Each week I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile.

Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcast, before social media, before cable news, there was Alan Berg. He was the first and the original shock choc. That scratchy, irreverent kind of way of talking to people and telling them that you're an idiot and I'm gonna hang up on you. This is Live Wire, the loud life and shocking murder of Alan Berg.

And he pointed to the Denver phone book and said, well, there are probably 2 million suspects. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A Body, A Suspect and a hundred years of silence. Buried Bones is a podcast about the forgotten crimes history tried to leave behind. A common misperception about serial predators is that every single time they commit a crime, they commit it the same way.

The past is a way of talking if you know what to listen for. New episodes every Wednesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Barry Bones on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.