An Army of Normal Folks - Gilbert Hess: Dirt Track Racing In Honor of His Late Daughter and Wife (Pt 1)

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Gilbert lost his 8-year-old daughter Samantha to cancer and then lost his 49-year-old wife Nicole. But instead of having a victim mindset about it, he’s honoring them with his dirt track racing car that he named “Nicole’s Dream”, which was to have a car that raises awareness for childhood cancer and funding to cure it. In less than 2 years, he’s raised $46k for St. Jude and other causes. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You know, everybody looks at me and they go, Oh my goodness, you lost so much, you lost so much. I didn't lose nothing. God gave me a gift for eight years with Samantha, and He gave me a gift for 33 years. That changed my life. And I said, I couldn't trade that for anything. Who would I be today if I'd never experienced those two people in my life. Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.

I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband. I'm a father. I'm an entrepreneur. And I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis. And the last part, it unintentionally led to an Oscar for the film about our team called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice

suits using big words that nobody really understands on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks. Guys, that's us, just you and me, seeing need and opportunity and saying, hey, I can help. That's what Gilbert Hess has done. Gilbert lost his eight-year-old daughter, Samantha, to cancer and then lost his wife, Nicole, who was 49. And yet, as you just heard, And yet, as you just heard, he doesn't have a victim mindset about it, not anywhere close. Gilbert is honoring them with his dirt track racing car that he named Nicole's Dream, which was to have a car that raises awareness for childhood cancer and funding to cure it. He's raised $46,000 for St. Jude and other causes in less than two years. I

cannot wait for you to meet this truly normal dude and hero right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted. But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Estelle Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee., Roy Wood Jr., and Charlemagne the God.

We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The 2025 iHeart Podcast Awards are coming. This is the chance to nominate your podcast

for the industry's biggest award. Submit your podcast for nomination now at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. But hurry submissions close on December 8th. Hey, you've been doing all that talking. It's time to get rewarded for it. Submit your podcast today at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. That's iHeart.com slash podcast awards. On Thanksgiving day, 1999, a five year old boy floated alone in the ocean.

He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz.

My podcast, When You're Invisible, is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped my life. I get to talk to a lot of people who form the backbone of our society, but who have never been interviewed before. Season two is all about community, organizing, and being underestimated.

All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it. I can't have more than $2,000 in my bank account or else I can't get disability benefits. They won't let you succeed. I know we get paid to serve you guys, but like, be respectful.

We're made out of the same things, bone, body, blood. It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the lesson and I'm also the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible as part of the MyCultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey.

Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today. When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional wellbeing. Find tools and resources at soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. ["Sound It Out Together"] Gilbert Hess, welcome to Memphis.

Thank you. Where'd you come from? I actually live in Inwood, West Virginia, but I grew up in Gerardstown, West Virginia. So where'd you fly in from? From Dulles Airport. I work at United Airlines down at Dulles Airport. Yeah. What do you do with United?

I'm a GSE mechanic, ground service equipment mechanic for United Airlines for 25 years. I don't even know what that means. Well, I'll put a picture to you this way. I'm a GSE mechanic, ground service equipment mechanic for United Airlines for 25 years. I don't even know what that means. Well, I'll put, I'll picture it to you this way. When you're on a flight and you look out the window, everything you see on the ground, that's what we work on. We don't touch the airplanes or we don't touch the buildings.

But you fix all those like white flat looking odd vehicles that got the conveyors on them. We'll touch anything from a hand cart all the way up to, you know, a half a million dollar cargo loader that loads the freight into the place. You know, I've always wondered those tug things that pull around the, they look like a train. They pull around the containers full of bags, you know, and they're not covered or anything. I bet during the winter, those stink to drive around. Well, we have some that are covered and some that are not, but yeah, they, those guys that I sometimes, I don't have to do it.

So I got, I worked like I said, I've got a nice pre record around, around it. But they get yourself all dressed up and they wear ski goggles. I'm saying about that job stuff. So your ground certificate, I thought that job stuff. So your ground certificate, you fix all that stuff that services the airport. So services United Airlines, not the airport itself, but just our airline.

Got it. All right. So I'm going to read how we know about you. And then we'll go back. And then we'll get, I'm gonna flashpoint your story. I'm really interested kind of how you grew up to get to where this story brought us. And then we'll get to what you're doing now

as a result of this story. We got an email from a listener named Russell Ward. Now, who is Russell Ward to you? Russell Ward, I met him at actually met him at Port Roll Speedway. I guess I want to say it was last year, it might have been a year before last. He does the racing outreach ministries. And he has a show car that he does, it's all dressed up with what he does with that. And we just met and I started talking to him about my program and then we just stayed in touch.

And then he had me speak at El Dorr Speedway during the week of the World 100 out there. I was out there racing and he said, I'd like you to come up and give a testimony. And I said, oh, sure. I said, absolutely. And so we went up and did that. Well, this is from Russell Ward. Bill, I have a friend that might be a great story for your podcast.

In short, his name is Gilbert Hess. He and his wife lost their young daughter to cancer. They wanted to start a charity to raise money for St. Jude in honor of their daughter. Before they could get started, his wife was then also diagnosed with cancer and she passed away as well. Man, when I hear that, I'm sorry, but now I'm interjecting in the middle. I don't want to interrupt you, but he got that a little bit. He got, he probably lost it in translation, but my wife actually died of COVID. You guys got COVID. Yeah. A lot of people get it.

They get it mixed up. They hear the word cancer, so they stick with that. And then, but yeah, she actually passed away on March 4th, 2021 with COVID. I woke up and she was gone at our home. It's not, it's not his fault. Let me finish this thing that he wrote and I'm glad you straightened it out. But well, let me finish. Before they could get started, his wife was diagnosed with cancer.

That's wrong. His wife got COVID and she passed away as well. He has taken on that task and is now it is his passion. He calls Nicole's dream. Last year he sent St. Jude's over $25,000 and over $5,000 in aid to West Virginia Children's Hospital pretty much all by himself. He gathers up items, he holds auctions, he sends money to children's charities. He also gathers gifts for kids at hospitals and much, much more.

You really need to talk to him about it. I'm doing a story, no justice. There's so much more than a thanks. Russell Ward. First of all, Kleenex alert. For all you listeners, you really shouldn't have to hear much more than that to know our friend Gilbert has had some pretty tough times in Strauma's life and instead of it crippling him, he's answered it. And we're going to get to that Gilbert for sure. But I kind of want to obviously racing is a massive part of your life, dirt track racing, which is, you know, my limited understanding of racing, which really has its genesis in the Carolinas and Virginias and all of that, I think, comes from bootleggers back in the Prohibition days. Is that not right? Yeah, that's how they say the birth of NASCAR began.

Is that correct? Yeah, yeah. Is that also dirt track? I wouldn't think dirt track is closer to bootleggers than NASCAR. I guess they were dirt tracking way before NASCAR got started. So yeah, it all come from that. They've worked their way up through the ranks. Now they have these massive speedways and all, and I know you're a dirt track guy, but up and down kind of the southeastern coast, that's where racing really, I mean, it's in the blood of folks over there. Oh, yeah. If you go through PA, I mean, there's a racetrack seems like on every corner.

I mean, yeah, that's the biggest statement, I think, in the world for everybody wants to go fast in circles. Yeah, it's just an amazing state. You know, you could go there, they have like a thing called Pennsylvania Speed Weeks and there's just so many tracks involved. Gosh. All right. So how'd you get your, how'd you grow up? Did you get your start, you know, was the racing bug in your life from the beginning? Tell me how you raised, where you came from.

Just about every Sunday, my dad would take us to Hagerstown Speedway in Hagerstown, Maryland for the races. I guess I can remember back- Is that Dirt Track? Yes, Dirt Track. I still race there to this day. Do you really? Yes.

Lisa Plessinger and her entire Plessinger family have been amazing supporting me and backing me in everything that I do. It's funny because my dad was best friends with my bus driver when I was a kid. So he would sit behind us with his family. And so I just remember a lot of fond days as a child, you know, there standing between my dad. Back then, you didn't have ear muffs to keep the sound out. So he would tear the inside of his jacket open and pull cotton out and stuff it in your ears, you know, because the cars are so loud and everything. We'd sit and watch the greats back then. It was just a fun time. You almost got sick on your stomach if you missed a Sunday,

or if you'd get there and it would rain, you'd be lost because that was a part of our life when we were kids. I think I've not got to call them friends, but acquaintances that did dirt racing over in the, in West Tennessee. And the thing I learned about it is, I mean, it's almost a family affair to have a car. And you know, we see NASCAR and TV and all these pits and well, dirt track racers are doing it for the love of the race and they're spending their, a lot of those guys are spending their free time working on their cars, getting them ready for racing. I mean, and they're literally fixing them up in barns out back of the house.

I mean, it's a very blue collar, all hands on deck, doing it for the love of the race, not for anything else. I mean, is that accurate? It's 100% accurate. And I like the fact that you brought up about the family aspect because a lot of these teams are 100% all family, aunts, uncles, cousins. And then, like I said, for myself, without my brother and sister, I couldn't even do what I do. But the whole atmosphere is a family atmosphere. You can be at the track and crash your car and you would have no less than maybe 10 or 12 people from other teams coming over. What do you need? What do we need to get you back out there? Come on, hey, can I borrow a tire and a wheel tonight? Or do you have this? You do have that?

We all do it because like I said, I have a nice big enclosed trailer and some guys, you know, don't and they all carry a lot of extra things and they might have something I need or they need and we just work back and forth because the ultimate goal is for us all to get out on that track for that main event at that night. That sounds expensive. It is. I started, well, like I say, after my daughter had passed away, we got out of race and we kind of buried ourselves in a hole for 20 years. We had nothing. When I did this, I made up my mind that when I started this new project, that I was going

to go into it with the best intentions because I knew we were going to be in the limelight because the kids were going to be involved in our program. I went up and had a discussion with Steve Baker at Rocket Chassis, and we bought a brand new Rocket Chassis, which is basically the exact replica of the Steyrkast here. And we bought, unfortunately, we didn't buy a brand new motor. We got one with 100 laps on it. So Ernie Davis with Ernie Salvichard, he had a motor that they only used for 100 laps,

which is one of the, he buys the top of the line everything. So if Ernie has something for sale, you know it's worth the money. And so we ended up buying the motor from him because of COVID, we couldn't get a motor built. There was a part shortage all across the country. And so that was not able to do that. And then, then I went up and had a discussion with Ronnie Dehaven at the Haven Trailer Sales of Winchester, Virginia. And, and, you know,chester, Virginia. We got into what we needed for a trailer and he goes, well, Gilbert, you're going to need this and you're going to need that. I said, I know. I spent so much money in the car, I got to be careful with this. He quoted me a price and we got through all that stuff and it was pretty remarkable. I know he's probably going

to yell at me when I do this, but I went back up to pick up the trailer and it wasn't the price that it was supposed to be. And I said, Ronnie, I said, uh, this ain't right. He goes, you don't worry about me. You just go do what you do. He said, I'm proud of you son. You know, and, and, and so, but bottom, bottom line, I, I lost count. Well, I'm even not even thinking about you necessarily, but all these people racing that are, you know, like you said, families that are just trying to get a car on the track.

And I mean, I know the people I knew in West Tennessee that race these things on weekends. I mean, they were scraping together money and all pulling in. I mean, it is a love of a sport and it is everybody's chipping in. This is not a wealth thing by any chance. No. I mean, in the upper echelon of racing, you know, those guys have corporate sponsors and things like that. That's different. And we get a little help here and there, but it is. It's very

expensive. When I started out, you know, racing in 1990, I worked one job and then I had a little body shop off to decide that that body shop paid for my racing. So I'd go to work at my regular job at 5 a.m. and then leave there at 1 and then go to the shop and work until sometimes midnight. So that's it. And what I'm trying to establish, a lot of our listeners aren't familiar with dirt track racing, right? And I just want people to understand

when they hear who you are and where you came from originally. This is a largely, each of these racing teams are pretty much families. They're all working on the car. They're all working together to get the race done. And everybody's just kind of piling in together working on the car, they're all working together to get the race done. And everybody's just kind of piling in together and pulling their money together to get a car going.

And it's really for the love of the sport and something that families just do together. Is that right? It's absolutely correct. And like I said, people, they give up vacations, birthdays, just to go to the track. Like I said, some of them are very family oriented and they have cookouts every Saturday at the racetrack. It's almost like a reunion in some aspects. Like I said, you've got to experience it.

You've got to go to a track and experience it. The intensity and the excitement and the noise and the smell. I laugh because my wife, she would walk in and they would start the cars up to get ready for warmups and she would just go, I love that smell of that race fuel. One other thing, these things don't have windshields, right? No. In mud and stuff flying, I mean, how do you even see after a few wraps?

Well, we have special visors with studs on them that we put on these tear-offs. So as the mud throws on it, we reach up and we tear off a layer. They usually come in 10 or 15. Some of the fancy guys, they use those automatic tear-offs, but I don't see anybody use them like they used to. That's usually early in the race. Later on, the track slicks over and it's just more dustier than it is muddy. Unbelievable. So it's loud, it's dusty, people are cheered, you smell, I guess, what do these things run on? Well, some of them run on alcohol and some on just regular race gas. But it's funny that you're talking about that the way that is. I had a friend of mine, he decided to take his wife to a dirt track race and they went

to a sprint car race. It's so much different than what we have. But he said, I'm sitting there at Gilbert, he said, and the bags come out. He said they got face masks on, ski goggles, hats, and we're sitting there going, what's getting ready to happen? But those are the people that know what's getting ready to happen? But those are the people that know what's getting ready to happen. Looks like a scene out of Star Wars. It is, absolutely.

And now, a few messages from our generous sponsors. But first, I hope you'll consider rating and reviewing us on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to the podcast. These reviews help more normal folks find us and ultimately build this army that can change the country. Please go online and do it. It won't take much of your time at all and it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted. But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight.

I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Ested Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee, Roy Wood Jr., and Charlamagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on,

this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The 2025 iHeart Podcast Awards are coming. This is the chance to nominate your podcast for the industry's biggest award. Submit your podcast for nomination now at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. But hurry, submissions close on December 8th. Hey, you've been doing all that talking, it's time to get rewarded for it. Submit your podcast today at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. That's

iHeart.com slash podcast awards. That's iHeart.com slash podcast awards. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere.

Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted

to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, y'all, I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. My podcast, When You're Invisible, is my love letter to the working-class people and immigrants who shaped my life. I get to talk to a lot of people who form the backbone of our society, but who have never been interviewed before. Season two is all about community,

organizing, and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it. I can't have more than $2,000 in my bank account, or else I can't get disability benefits. They won't let you succeed. I know we get paid to serve you guys,

but like, be respectful. We're made out of the same things. Bone, body, blood. It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the lesson and I'm also the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible as part of the MyCultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey. Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today. When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being.

Find tools and resources at soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. So where did you say you grew up? I grew up in Gerardstown, West Virginia. All right. So it's basically up in the panhandle of West Virginia. And your wife, her name was Nicole? Nicole, yes. So where did y'all meet?

I went to high school. No kidding? Yeah. She was a sophomore and I was a senior. High school sweethearts. Well, yep. February 11th, 1988, crossed from her house. This love was playing on the radio

when I kissed her for the first time. Wow. Everybody laughs when I do that, but I just remember that date. I even put that on her headstone. Everybody goes, what's this February 11th on the headstone? I said, that's the first night we kissed. So did you go to the military or?

No, no, I just went straight to work out of high school. You know, Were you already mechanically inclined? No, I just, you know, growing up with my grandfather, you know, when you grow up poor, you learn how to do things because you can't afford to pay anybody to do it. So we were constantly changing transmission and engines. And like I said, then we started our race team, which was just a four or so in our class back in the nineties.

And, and like I said, you don't have the money, you learn real quick and we would tear our own motors down. We sent a machine shop to have the machining done, but we put all of our motors together. And like I said, then I got hooked up with a friend and he taught me how to paint. And you know, so we painted our own cars, we built our own engines and you know, I grew up without much or nothing either. And I remember one time somebody calling an uncle of mine, a shade tree mechanic.

And he said, I ain't no shade tree mechanic. And he said, oh, you better than that. He said, no, I can't afford a tree. I got no shade. He said, I'm just a mechanic. And he not a mechanic by choice, but if he wanted to get to work, he had to keep his car running. Yeah.

And when you say you grew up poor, what does that look like? Well, you know, when you grow up poor, you don't know you're poor until you have what you have later in life. And so back then we were tickled to death. I mean, back then, you know, we got to go to Kings Dominion once a year, and we just thought that was the bee's knees. Now, I go to Hawaii four or five times a year because I work for United Airlines and I fly for free.

I never even thought that was even possible. But the things back then, you don't miss stuff that you never had. Back then, we didn't know we were poor. Like I said, it was just a thing that you look back at and you go, wow, we didn't know we were poor. And like I said, it was just a thing that you look back at and you go, wow, we didn't have a whole lot. But we were richer in a lot of other things. Like I said, I was fortunate enough that my grandparents lived right in front of me.

And my dad bought the property behind. Well, actually, he didn't buy it. He put the plumbing in my grandparents' house, and they gave him the piece of land. So I grew up behind my grandparents, and off to the right of us was a Pentecostal church. And so we had that structure as children growing up. And we grew up on the switch. We were taught if you do something bad, you were punished.

I think you just said a mouthful. I mean, you didn't have much of anything. But what you did have was you had your family. You had structure with the church. And you had a switch if you got out of line. And I just wonder, I can't help but wonder if so much of what is challenging us in society today is because we've lost so much of that very thing. We've lost our family values.

We've lost a lot of moral issues too. The sad part about it is if we don't get it back soon, we're going to lose it forever. Some people laugh when you say that, but it's not funny. That's because you're just a dumb old redneck from West Virginia talking about stuff you don't know. Well, I don't know about all that. I know what you're saying. I know. But it is. I'm working with a lot of younger guys and I see the way they carry themselves and their outlook and things on life. And I try to show them what I know, but they're just like I am when I was 30 years old. Oh, that old guy don't know nothing. But I do. I try to take the

time to try to explain them because like I said, over the last eight to 10 years, I've really, really noticed it. But like I said, we've got ourselves in society now where both people have to work. See, I grew up when mom was in the house and they had worked. My wife didn't work. I worked. It was the same thing. She was home room mom. She went to the school whenever they needed her.

We had that balance. Some people can't do it. I understand that. The biggest thing is now pull those cell phones out of their hand at dinner and talk about your day. Have that conversation because that's what's getting lost. These kids are suffering from things at school and bullying and all kinds of things that are going on in the world and they don't know because they're not speaking up. They need that parent to sit down and go, hey, I want to hear about your day.

But they also have to go back and go, listen, we've got a relationship where it doesn't matter what you tell me, we'll get through it. And that's the problem. Kids are scared to come forward these days and tell them, hey, I'm being bullied and picked on and things that are going on in my life. And then that's why we have suicide and things like that going on in the world with kids. We can't figure it out, but they're lost because they don't have that structure. And seeing a lot of this too is nobody goes to church anymore. I mean, it's a sad day when you find out that this whole family has never went to a church,

the mother, the daddy, the kids. So where do they find that at? So then when you go in and you try to explain to them what they're missing out on, they have no comprehension of it. And so by what I'm doing here, I try to show people that I am the man I am today is because of the grace of God. About six months before, I was always brought up in church. But of course, as you get as a teenager, you drift away and some do, some don't. No, I was the same way. Yeah. And me and my wife had a hard discussion during COVID. She said, Gilbert, if we don't give our life to Christ, she said, we're not gonna see our daughter again.

And that's not an option for me. And we sat down and we gave our life to Christ and a matter of months later, she was gone. So there was a reason that timing is everything. And I just had this discussion with Alex going up the road, and I had this discussion with a lot of people. You know, everybody looks at me and they go, Oh, my goodness. You know, you know, I brought this up in church out there at Russia's church out in El Dor. Everyone goes, Oh, my God, you lost so much. You lost so much.

I didn't lose nothing. God gave me a gift for eight years with Samantha, and He gave me a gift for 33 years. That changed my life. And I said, I couldn't trade that for anything. Who would I be today if I'd never experienced those two people in my life? He gave me a gift of my grandparents and my parents and brother Brumbach that live next door at the church. And that's what I told him. I said, I'm dating a new lady right now. And I told her, I said, when you meet my family, they're a little bit different. And she goes, well, why is that?

I said, well, I said, our experiences through life make us who we are. The people that we meet, the experiences that we have. They haven't had the opportunities that I have. I've traveled abroad. I've met so many different people. I work with so many different nationalities at the airport. I've learned so much about the Pakistani and Iraqi cultures and Haiti and things like that. They're people just like we are. They want the same things. They love their families. They want a good life and things like that. But it's changed me into this person that I'm happy with myself,

that I've got these experiences that I've able to broaden my horizons and got to do the things I get to do. So you and Nicole meet in high school. You get married, get a job. 1990. And you're starting life. And you have a little girl. And her name was? Samantha.

Samantha Nicole Hess. And you're working at United? No, I'm actually working at the service station for Roach Oil. It was a Texaco station. Okay. And I had a little body shop on the side. Got it. And what's Nicole doing? Is she working?

Is she staying out? No, she's not working. She worked a little bit when we first got married. And then I didn't want her working when we had the baby. I wanted to be home with the baby. And like I said, so we start racing in 1990. We bought our first car in 1990, just for us to sell our stuff. And then we got into that for a few years.

And then, of course, Samantha come along. So we took a year off and then regrouped and did a few things. Also, too, funny story about that during that racing thing. In 1992, the pace car driver, he used to come into the service station to fill up every Tuesday on his way to PA to go hanging out at the race shops. He said, man, you're a pretty little thing. Nicole goes, well, thank you. He goes, how about I buy you a couple of baby suits and you give out the trophies up at the Speedway? She goes, well, I can do that. She became the trophy girl at the Speedway in 1992. Are you kidding? Speedway in 1992. So in 1993, we had Samantha and then we just kind of, we took a little bit off and then

to start trying to, she was a homeroom mom and she hung out at the school a lot. So there you all are living the dream, building your family, building your life. And then Samantha is eight and she gets sick. Tell me how you found that out. Tell me how that revealed itself. She was actually six and a half. She went to school. Oh, I'm sorry.

That's right. Back six and a half. Yeah, she was six and a half and she went to school that morning. She come home and she's, Mom, I don't feel good. Of course, Nicole took her into Dr. Annette's office in Martinsburg and we got her looked at. And he, at first he goes, you know, it might be strep throat. Well, then she had these bruisings from her knees down to her ankles.

He goes, man, she's bruises. And just not from being just was bruised. I mean, well she bumping? I'll explain that to you. Yeah. So she had these bruises from her knees down to her. He goes, man, she's a roughhouser. And she goes, no. My daughter liked to draw. So she would just sit at the table and draw for hours and hours. And he goes, that doesn't look right. So he sent her over to the labs, had labs done on her, and the next day he calls, he said, I think you need to go to Children's Hospital.

We need to check a few things. Well, of course, my wife's heart sank because now they're talking about the white blood counts and all that stuff being off. I didn't understand what was happening. He never said the word leukemia. So we headed down to Children's Hospital. Um, they did. Did he know, do you think he knew? Well, he, he, the signs were there with her white blood cell count was off. So he sent us down to children's hospital. They took us in and they did a, uh,

Sure. It's hospital West Virginia. No, no. Children's hospital down in Washington, DC. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep. So cause we're just right outside of DC. I see. I'm sorry. No, that's quite right. So back then, there wasn't a whole lot of children's facilities up our way. You know that you were talking 22 years ago. Yeah. Or actually 23 and a half years. So we went into the hospital, they did what they call a spinal tap and a bone marrow where they put a needle in your spine and draw the fluid. And then they sink a nail. Well, I call it a nail. It's a needle, but it looks like a 16 penny nail down into your hip to pull the bone marrow out to a six year old. Dude. It was the most horrifying thing.

You've ever want to wish you just, she was, she couldn't be asleep. She had to be semi sedated for this test to be. You're just holding your daughter. It was, it was tough. And I had to go through many of those. But over after that, when I'd never allowed my wife to be in the room again, after that. Was it that rough? Yes. It was, it was horrifying. One time one lady did it and she almost came up to the table. And I was like, listen, you got to stop. You don't know what you're doing.

We have to get somebody in here that can do this. So the girl that usually does it come in, bam, bam, bam. We were good. But so basically we, they said, go out in the waiting room. And so we went out in the waiting room, about two hours went by and a lady come in, she was a social worker. She says, come on, we need to go talk to you. So they took us in a room about this size here, big old oval table. We're sitting down at one end and it's covered in doctors and they start talking. You had to have known when you sit down at oval room, you had to have known at that point. Oh, the intensity of the way we were talked to and everything, we could tell they were

getting ready to spring something on us. And so they just start blurting out all these protocols, protocols. I'm like, what's going, what's happening here? You know, and they're like, well, your daughter has leukemia. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Ested Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha B., But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha B., Roy Wood Jr., and Charlamagne the God.

We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The 2025 iHeart Podcast Awards are coming. This is the chance to nominate your podcast for the industry's biggest award. Submit your podcast for nomination now at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. But hurry submissions close on December 8th. Hey, you've been doing all that talking. It's time to get rewarded for it. Submit your podcast today at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. That's iHeart.com slash podcast awards. On Thanksgiving day, 1999,

a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. Look like a little angel. I mean, he looks so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian, Elian, Elian, Elian, Elian.

Elian Gonzalez. At the. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family

separation, something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the MyCultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all, I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. My podcast, When You're Invisible, is my love letter to the working class people

and immigrants who shaped my life. I get to talk to a lot of people who form the backbone of our society, but who have never been interviewed before. Season two is all about community, organizing, and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it. I can't have more than $2,000 in my bank account or else

I can't get disability benefits. They won't let you succeed. I know we get paid to serve you guys but like be respectful. We're made out of the same things. Bone, body, blood. It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the lesson and I'm also the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible as part of the MyCultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everything okay? radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. can't find the right words. Music can help them Sound It Out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. [♪ Piano Music Playing in the Background, with a soft, soft piano sound, and a soft, soft piano sound. Well, my wife burst into tears because her 13-year-old friend died of leukemia when they

were in high school. So she knew what we were getting our face against. Me, I'm dumbfounded. I'm like, so my daughter's sick. I didn't know the intensity of it. I'm 20-some years old. Actually, I was 32. We just go through all these protocols, what we're going to try.

I'm like, we don't know what to do. They said, well, we got to do something. It's got to start today. I was like, what? Today? He goes, we're admitting her right now. They took her and they put her, I forget the room number, but it was the end of the hallway. They called it the princess room. It was the biggest room on the floor. It had a big old thing drawn in the back like a veil. It's all drawn up like a princess.

We spent our two weeks there starting treatment. And then we were released after two weeks. And I'll never forget that day as long as I live because Nicole's mom come down and was helping her get ready, packing everything up to go home. And she combed her hair for the first time and all of her hair fell out, started falling out. And we still have that, we still have that hair at home in a bag. Then we went through the process of going back and forth and back and forth through the treatments. Did you have hope? Yes, we did because this all happened. It actually happened August 30th of 2000. And by, I guess the spring of 2001, she relapsed.

I mean, excuse me, she was in remission. She was in remission. I mean, she got around better than any healthy kid, I think. And we just had such an amazing, an amazing summer. I bought her a new pool. We had the biggest Fourth of July fireworks display. We actually had a traffic stop down along the road. We took her up to Breezewood, Pennsylvania to buy fireworks.

When we got in there, of course, she was bald headed. The guy walks over immediately and he says, can I have her? I said, yeah, you're going to give her back? He said, yeah. He took a to give her back? He's yeah. So he took a cart and he's filling this cart up. And I'm like, I can't pay for all that. He goes, this is mine. He was the manager and they filled that cart up and we set off fireworks for a week after that. But we went through the summer and great. She, she went in, she went into second grade and, and you know, that fall. And then, um, me and my wife were out black Friday shopping and, um, we come back.

She was, she was sick and we called the aimlets. She got that quick. Yeah. Yeah. She, she was sick. And, and, uh, did you know? Yeah, I, I, I feared it, you know, so they, they, um, they, uh, put us in an ambulance. I thought, I said, all right, down, you pack up and come to the hospital. Just take your time. Why did you need an ambulance? She must've been really sick. They just, they didn't want to take any chances back then cause they didn't know. They didn't know a lot. You know,

we had to take her into the hospital one time and, and I told him, I said, listen, you got to call the hospital and how you administer this antibiotic. They were like, all right, the girl comes in, does it, and my daughter starts turning red and they call it red man syndrome because if you administer the antibiotic too quick, it causes you to turn red. Are you kidding? It was called red man syndrome and that's why we were very hesitant to take her to local hospitals. They just didn't have, they didn't deal with a lot of children, you know, back then. You know, it was a very rare thing that you heard a kid with cancer up in our area.

And so we took her down there and she packed up and came down later. And we spent the last two months down there and she passed away on January 20 of 2002, you know, to do a lot of treatment. We did a lot of last minute treatments, but they burned her pancreas up and she wasn't able to eat the last six weeks of her life. The most she had was ice chips. I mean, for any parent, and I don't want to sound... I have four children. As a father, I think your basic primal first instinct is protect your kids. You're sitting there and you can't.

Well, I woke up that morning. I woke up that morning and she was in a coma and, and my wife, her, we're up to about three o'clock in the morning together, but my wife dozed off and fell asleep. And then when, and so we woke up, you know, we woke up about around eight o'clock or so and she was in a coma and it just didn't, it didn't look good. And I went in and the nurses and the doctors come in, they looked at her and of course they were told by me to bring me to the side so I could explain to my wife. So she didn't, you know, she cause she gets so emotional so quick and we need it. We need somebody to have a little bit of sanity here to kind of calm things

down. So they took me out and they told me, this said, this is it. This is it. So I went back inside and- Whoa. So you're bearing the this is it news and now you're going to have to go somehow console your wife. Well, the only thing I could do was I walked back in the room and of course she's just, she's freaking out. And I said, listen, just calm down. I said, just calm down. I said, let's get in bed with her. She crawled on the left side of her. I crawled on the right side of her. We held her hand and we laid beside of her. She took three breaths and she is gone. That was it. Life was never the. And of course, the night before,

all these people were supposed to come down and see her and we had a horrible ice storm. So nobody knows that they're on the road and she's gone. And the bad thought about this is no more than she passed away, the phone rang. And it was a lady from the newspaper that just did a big story on her. And she wanted to call us and say, hey, the story turned out great, the paper's out. And I had to tell her that she just passed away. And all I remember from her is the phone dropped and I never heard from her again. I don't know what it did to her.

But of course, I go out to go get us something to drink and here's 15 people walking down to the hallway. Her mom, dad, brother, sisters, nephews, but the worst was her best friend. And Erica was out in all the way. A little eight year old? Yeah. I guess she was probably still seven and a half or so. Did you spend nights at our house? We didn't let her in the room. We didn't let her see her or anything like that.

They think that social worker come and got her and kept her isolated and everything. But she knew what was going on and she had to be there for that. That was tough. That was a tough deal. That was a tough deal to try to... Because me, I'm me. I wanted to protect Moat. My wife has a basket case.

I got my mother-in-law's a basket case. I got my father-in-law's a basket case. It was bad. What about you? You got to be able to grieve too. It's your daughter. That's the problem. This is what happened to me is, is when that happened, I went into

protect mode and I didn't go off protect mode until my wife died. So then when my wife died, I got the double whammy. You know, we got to get. All right. I got the double whammy. You know? We gotta get, all right. Yeah. Man, Gilbert, as an aside, I can't help but say thank God for St. Jude Memphis because

this is a story that they see with and deal with and are, as we speak right now, there are 500 families out there dealing with this exact very thing. The exact same thing. And it's gut wrenching, but it's also uplifting that we have people in this world working to save families from this sadness. Um, okay. What year was this? That was in 2002, 2002. Okay. So

you and Nicole got to pick up the pieces and move on with life. Yeah. I mean, we just lived after that. I mean, we got up every day and I went to work and she still didn't work. I just left her be at home and we just put ourselves in a hole. We could go into the racetrack. We quit doing everything. I mean, we just didn't do anything.

It was just, we stopped going to family functions. I don't want to say we were jealous, but it was so hard to watch everybody have a family and enjoy Christmas and Thanksgiving and, you know, and all that. And, and, um, you know, it's, um, What was Christmas and Thanksgiving like? We didn't celebrate it for seven or eight years after she passed away. You didn't even go with family. We didn't do anything. We didn't, I mean, I'd get her a little gift here or there, but we'd,

we didn't put a tree up for I think at least seven or eight years after that. She's too hard. It's just, she just didn't want anything to do with it. You know, she, of course, we built, we built it, we built it. We sold our old home that we had with where Samantha was at and we built a new home and then she and she resurrected her bedroom. Now for me, I didn't go into it. She went into it all the time because it helped her, but it was right above my bedroom and I wouldn't even go into it for 20 years. I

mean, I'm lucky if I went in 10 times. That was the first thing I got rid of when my wife died. Very first thing. I gave the bedroom suit to her niece and called up some of her Samantha's friends from school. I said, hey, bring a box. Come in. If you remember something that you all played with when you were kids, because everything's still there, grab what you want, put it in a box and take it home with you if you want to remember.

So a few of them did. They came over and then we tore the room down. And that was a very, very difficult thing for me because it reopened a lot of old rooms. So was there not social worker help or people to talk to? Well, everybody wants me to go see a therapist and this and that. I'm just not that guy. I heal through the process of meeting people and talking to them about their experiences as well and things like that. I wish we would have gave ourselves to God back then because He would have been so much

bigger help for us through that process. But we didn't, and we suffered for it too. We suffered because he would have helped us manage that pain so much more better than what we did. But, you know, it's, you don't know what you're going to do until you have that situation come into your life. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Gilbert Hess. And guys, don't miss part two. It's now available to listen to. As the redemption, it's coming. Together, we can change this country. But it starts with you. I'll see in part two. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric.

Well the election is in the homestretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Estet Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The 2025 iHeart Podcast Awards are coming. This is the chance to nominate

your podcast for the industry's biggest award. Submit your podcast for nomination now at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. But hurry, submissions close on December 8th. Hey, you've been doing all that talking, it's time to get rewarded for it. Submit your podcast today at iHeart.com slash podcast awards that's iHeart.com slash podcast awards. On Thanksgiving day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez,

was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped me. Season two, share stories about community and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks. Let's do something about it. We get paid to serve you,

but we're made out of the same things. It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey. Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today.

When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures.