An Army of Normal Folks - How Former Gangsters Pulled 1,000 People Out of Gang Life (Pt 1)

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

How do you convince someone to walk away from a life they’d die for? In this episode, former gang member Beni Santibanez shares how “Hope 4 Da Hood” has helped over 1,000 people leave gang life by exposing their lie of loyalty and helping them discover their true identity & value. It’s a raw look at transformation and how you can help people break cycles that most never escape.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/#joinSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My favorite smell on a Sunday morning is weed and alcohol because there's potential for hope when I smell that. I had a guy, man, he was homeless. He was on meth. This guy was a gang leader. He started a gang called West Side Aztecas. And guy was like, I'm going to do something with that man. Man, he'd come to our men's group just tweaked out sometimes.

And it was showing him love. We loved him. Like, we ain't going to try to disciple you if you ain't committed. we're going to love you into the kingdom. And when you're committed, we're going to work as God is working with you to help build you up. Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy.

I'm a husband. I'm a father. I'm an entrepreneur. And I'm a football coach in inner city Memphis. That last part somehow led to an Oscar for the film about one of my teams. It's called undefeated. I believe our country's problems. are just never going to be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice suits

using big words that nobody ever uses on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks. Y'all, that is us. Just you and me deciding, hey, maybe I can help. That's what Benny Santibanyas, the voice you've just heard, has done. Benny is a former gang member whose nonprofit, Hope for the Hood, reached over, get this, 1,000 active gang members just last year. More than 600 of them are now fully out of gang life and employed in living wage jobs.

This dude will teach you how to use your story and experiences, both good and bad, to help other people who were where maybe once you were. Right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Harry Stiles, live in London, England at Wembley Stadium. This is Harry Stiles. Iheart Radio wants to send you and a mate across the pond, with flights from Virgin Atlantic, hotel from TripCentral.ca, tickets, and $1,000 cash.

Here we got it! Download the free IHart Radio app. Listen to IHart new music for 10 minutes. Enter to win. Every day is another chance to see Harry Styles. Very excited to see you with the show. Kiss all the time, disco occasionally available now. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged.

It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tauntons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two.

Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam Jett.

And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now.

Thank you finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Benny Santilla.

I'm going to say it right. I'm going to do it right. This gringo is not good of Spanish, but it's e-like email. Santibanyas. Is that right? Let's say it close enough. That's close enough.

All right, Benny. What's up? Benny, everybody, is from Wichita, Kansas. He is the founder and executive director of Hope for the Hood, which is spelled hope for the number, duh, DA, hood. Hope for the hood. Sounds like pretty self-explanatory, but Benny's life is anything but.

And I read your, Alex does a really good job of presenting and put together a pretty detailed culmination of your life and how to prep me for these interviews. And after I went through this one, I was like, I can't wait to meet this, dude. I have so many questions for you that I think a lot of people would like to understand and we're going to get to them. But first, last year, Hope for the Hood reached over 1,000, listen everybody,

1,000 active gang members and 600 of them are now fully out of the gang life. What in the world is your former gang member self saying to these people to get them to do that? So a lot of us, you know, we wanted to belong in, you know, the devil recruits early. We believe the lie. And gang culture, I mean, you buy into an identity, but it's a false identity. And it's a destructive identity.

And so I'm telling them who they really are. And I'm telling them that there's a way out. I mean, because I was the worst of the worst. And I'm out. And so I'm telling them how to be free. And I'm telling them who they are. What is the worst of the worst look like? I mean, took the Ten Commandments like a checklist and broke them.

I mean, you know what I'm saying? Defied God, it, defied society, defied the police and everything that we did. I mean, career criminal, just a destructive lifestyle. adrenaline junkie. I can't tell you how many times we've been in shootouts and near-death experiences. I mean, just,

if it could get you killed, we were doing it. So what does that guy have to say to a gang member to get away from that life? What can you... All right, let's take an 18, 19-year-old banger.

What the... I don't want to be general, but what the demographics say is probably grew up without a father in the household or if the father was in the household he was abusive um uh really had not a whole lot of interest in school and uh was looking for anything to be a part of got recruited into the gang life started as a hopper and ended up maybe being a shot caller and this 18, 19, 20 year old guys probably seen more than most human beings will ever have seen in their entire life. And then, you know, I mean, what's you got for

that guy? What's he going to hear from you? I mean, you see what I'm saying? And if anything I said is overly sensationalized, stop me. Tell me, no, that's not how it really is. No, that's really how it is. I mean, the toughest part is, you know, let's say he started around 12, 13. 12, 13, you know, the juvenile mind is a very concrete, black and white mind. So the commitment when you make that, I mean, I was 30-some years old and didn't want to break my commitment to the gang. That you made when you were how old? 13. But the 13-year-old, especially the 13-year-old male mind,

science tells us today that the male frontal lobe didn't develop in many males until 24, 25, 26. And at 13, we're talking about a child. But your sense, I mean, look at teenagers. They criticize everything. They're very black and white in their thinking. So a yes at that age, you mean it. So by the time you're 18, you feel like you're just now, you know, in Spanish they say the word is Desoralliano. So you're just now evolving into your identity as a gang member.

And so how do you crack that head open? How do you get a thousand? What are you saying to these thousand active gang members? that 600 of them are now fully out of gang life, how do you break that? I mean, a lot of it is misplaced identity. So gang culture teaches you things that, I mean, honor, like, who don't like the word honor?

It's a twisted version of honor. Love, it's a twisted version of love. Loyalty, it's a twisted version of loyalty. You know what I'm saying? But you have acceptance and you have a lot of people patting you on the back. And for somebody like that who's never had the support or the parent or anybody there, I mean, there's a Christian rapper named LaCray. He had this song and he said, they say I'm good at bad things, but at least they're proud of me. You know, and it's not hard

to get somebody and add a boy them into this lifestyle, into this identity. And I mean, they'll do anything. I mean, I would do, I would do anything for the dudes from my gang. I would have done it. You know what I'm saying? But the deception and the blindness of it, you really think you're doing something for a cause. Like, I was sold out. I was sold out 100% would have died for it. I didn't think I'd live to C-18. I lived to C-18. Didn't think I'd live to C-21. Didn't think I'd live to C-25. And then when I was about 30-some years old, I'm like, I'm probably not going to die in the gang life, but I have no plan. I have no plan for my life. And so I've climbed to the very top of that ladder. I got a lot, I could say,

to an 18-year-old because what you're looking to achieve, what you're looking to accomplish, you want to be the biggest and the baddest and there really ain't nothing there. You know, it's a false sense of community because the people that you're robbing with, the people that you're stealing with, the people that you're doing drugs with are going to all turn their back on you. and at a young age, it's the hardest thing to crack with the juvenile is they have that camaraderie and they have that gollableness of them where they're like, no, man, they'll never turn their back on me. They'll always have my back. They're my boys.

Until it happens. You know what I mean? And it happens more often than not. I mean, you see the little 18-year-old, you're 13, you're looking up to him. He's going off. He's got the good-looking girl. He jumps in the lowrider with the OG. They got guns and stuff.

And it looks cool, but what they don't know is that everybody's hitting that girl. What they don't know is them OGs are punking that dude for his money. You know what I'm saying? And so they want to belong. They want to know. I mean, every human being has this deep need to be important. And God made us important. He made us.

He said, you're my master. wonderfully and fearfully created. You know, we don't know what we don't know. We didn't know we were valuable. I was always told I was a piece of, that I never amount to nothing, so I believed it. But God showed me different. And so I'm bringing that truth to them.

I'm bringing the hope. Does a 17-year-old caught up in that life, share you, and even though their mouth may be saying, nah, man, you're wrong, you don't know what you're talking about. Now you're an old man. You don't know what you're saying. Do they in their back of their minds after seeing what they've seen for three or four years actually know that it's broken?

Do they really know it in the depth? Maybe when it's just them looking in the mirror, do they, do you feel like they, did you know what was broken when you were 16 or 17, even though you would have died for it? After seeing some of what you saw, because I have, I coach football, which everybody listening knows, but I've coached gang members, right?

And I can't tell you how many of them have come back after 22, 23 years saying, coach, I should listen to you, right? I remember when I got my first adult charge and I got locked up when I was, 19, all those boys who I would bled with and died for, and nobody came saw me in prison. They forgot me. And then truthfully, most of them went and got my girlfriend and picked up my stuff out of my

apartment, and I didn't have nothing left when I got back. So that revealed the truth to them. But even if you're not that person, but you're part of the gang and you see that happening, you have to know what's broken, even though you're kind of stuck. I mean, and this is, I'm saying stuff, but I'm really asking a question. Yeah. So. Is that real?

It is. I mean, I remember seeing the homies. So, you know, we're supposed to be a brotherhood. We're supposed to. And the gang that I came from, we had a saying that all of us are one. We're all united that we had a 360, which means everybody got to everybody's back, right? and then the homies go jump you and your cousin and then they turn their back on you and then they jump you. And so yeah, we seen that it was broken, but it's a pride, it's a pride culture.

So what I did, and I don't suggest that people do it, is I said, you know what, I'm going to be the one to fix it. I'm going to be the real representation of what we are. And a lot of these kids, they take that same Pac-Man nugget and eat it. They know that it's broken. They know that it's missed up, but they want to be the realist out here. And so they don't realize that real is really fake. And so I have to shoot holes in it. You know what I'm saying? Because I know I've been there. And I'll tell them like, okay, is this a real brotherhood if you can't wear red? Is this a real brotherhood if you talk to these people and now they're going to come get you? Is it a real brotherhood if they're going to beat you up if you don't go do what they told you, if they're going to come shoot you,

if you got to take a charge for him because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his choices, is it really a brotherhood? You know, you need to be able to talk to them on a real level because everything that they're facing, they're facing death, they're facing jail, they're facing addiction. I mean, I got friends that are still walking up and down the street twacked out of their head from the trauma of all the shootouts and everything that they were involved in when they were younger.

I got friends that are doing life in prison. I got friends that are dead. And there's only so many roads this is going to lead to. And at all the kids that I talk to, there's only a small percentage that after you talk to them like that, they'll be like, I don't care. I mean, I got one sitting in Hutchinson right now doing 14 years. He was the first murderer of, I want to say, 2021.

And he's sent message to me back. He's like, you were right. Should have listened. We want to catch them. before something like that happens. And we unmask it and we uncover it because we felt for it. And we felt for it. Yeah, we felt for it.

We, I mean, I'm not the only ex-gang member at Hope for the Hood. I mean, I got Bloods, Crips. I even got Aryan Brotherhood, Vietnamese, Asian boy, Crips, Norteño, Sureanos, Latin Kings. Pretty much every gang that you could think of. that that would hate each other, they're all part of what we got going on. How many people are working with you or volunteering with you? On the nonprofit side, I think we got about 15 people on the church. It's a whole lot more than that.

It's a whole lot. Our church is probably like we had about 315 people less. We'll get to that in a minute because that's incredible. And now a few messages from our generous sponsors, but first, our six local service clubs are rolling, and we'd love to invite you to either join one or be a part of a team to help start another one in your own area. At a time when only 33% of Americans are contributing in their community at the level that they want to, the mission of these clubs is to make service easier for everyone. The first six clubs are in Memphis, Oxford, Wichita, Atlanta, Azuki County, which is...

Ozaki. The first six are in Memphis, Oxford, Wichita, Atlanta. Where is it? Ozaki. Ozaki County, which I think is New York, right? Nope. Where's Ozaki? John Norman's outside of Milwaukee.

Oh, that's Milwaukee. And then Northern Duchess County, that's New York. That's in New York. That's where they are. If you live in one of these areas, visit the service club section of our site, NormalFolks. Us, and get plugged in. It's easy. And there's Army members exploring launching service clubs in their communities later this year. Those cities include Knoxville, San Antonio, Huntsville, Auburn, Washington, D.C., Lincoln, Nebraska, Licking County, Ohio, Lorraine County,

Ohio. If you happen to live in one of these areas and are interested in helping, just email Alex at army of normal folks.us and he'll get you connected to them. Or if you want to begin the process of rolling one of these things up in your community, you can also email Alex. Let's do this, Army members. We'll be right back. Harry Styles live in London, England at Wembley Stadium. Harry Styles. Iheart Radio wants to send you and a mate across the pond with flights from Virgin Atlantic, hotel from TripCentral.ca,

tickets, and $1,000 cash. Here we got it! Download the free IHart Radio app. Listen to IHart new music for 10 minutes. Enter to win. Every day is another chance to see Harry Styles. Very excited to see you at the show. Kiss all the time, disco occasionally available now.

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds.

I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics

from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tauntons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to blow your mind on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people.

I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do a little kill? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84's big to me, not just because of crack.

I'm down to talk about crack all day, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. But just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see there's a through line.

We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history.

Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think sometimes what you're, you're talking about right now becomes sensationalized by TV shows on Netflix and movies. And then somehow if you watch 15 of those movies or shows over the course of 10 years, we, people like me who've never lived that life, get to sensitized to it a little bit because Hollywood makes it almost glamorous. Kind of like it did the Italian mob of the 60s. And it glosses over the fact that that was a violent business that used up 95% of the people in it for only the 5% of the people that actually ran it.

That's what the Italian mob was like. And if I hear you saying, catch a charge for this guy or take a whatever, I mean, it feels like very much, even though it's not Italian and it may be Hispanic or. or black or Aryan or Vietnamese, still sounds like it's all very much the same. It's the same thing. I want to say it's Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. It's a bunch of the Lost Boys. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys.

Nobody wants to grow up and nobody wants to take accountability. So they have little kids go take the risk and little kids go take the fall. They're using them. You know, at the core of it, you're being used. and then you grow up looking forward to the day that you become the big man and then you repeat the cycle and you use people at the risk of i mean there's not going to be much more candid conversation than the one we're having right now but if you got to 31 and lived through it all and didn't think you were going to you were one of those guys i was i'm not proud to say this i had a friend they had me on video camera but he looked like me

and he went and did the two years. And I could have spoke up, I could have said something. I didn't want to face the consequences of my choices. And, you know, a lot of my friends who I led in that wrong direction, I've done everything I can to try to help them and to try to help them turn around. I mean, everything, like literally, I mean, I've pulled some of them out of the trap houses,

take them into my house and try to rehabilitate them because I wasn't a real friend. friend. I was selfish. I only cared about myself. And I didn't ever take accountability for anything that I did. And, you know, part of being a man is taking accountability for what you've done and taking responsibility for your choices, your decisions, and what that means to the people that you're around. This is just coming out of my head. It's not part of the prep, but I'm going to, I'm going to ask you just to comment on it. A former player, who did some time

who I had a conversation with not long ago he did time for shooting somebody and that was the one he got called for so it happened many more times than once but he he didn't mind owning up to that because he justified it this way

he said I ain't ever shot a citizen meaning he never shot anybody that wasn't in the He was only he only shot people that were in the gang life and so to him In some odd way that was like okay if it felt justified Yeah, is that a mentality is like if you're not if you're not out there shooting people that aren't in the life Then all's fair in war so it's kind of like this that's your team You're playing against the ops your job is to take a out. That's really the mentality. That's really the mentality. Now, I was so deceived that the mentality,

that the twistedness of the mentality is this. You're just taking out the trash. You dehumanize the other people. You don't realize that because they have a different color, because they represent something else, and not just because of that, these people come and shoot people in your neighborhood. These people come. I mean, there was a 12-year-old kid. These guys were 25 years old. They slit his throat, beat him with a brick, and left him to die on the railroad tracks. You know, and, and so... And this kid was from your hood. He was from our hood. And so... Now it's time, go get some. And so we, you know, retaliation is a must, is what you do. Now, I honestly thought, and I fully believed with everything in me, this is a disliked. This is a

of it, I thought we were the good guys and we were just protecting the neighborhood and we were making the neighborhood safe. And when God opened my eyes, I was in enemy territory. I'm 25 years old. I got 12 year olds, 13 year olds, 14 year olds, 17 year olds, 16 year olds, 1 20 year old with me. And we're chasing these people in their own neighborhood, terrorizing people in their own neighborhood. And, you know, something wrong with that picture. I'm the oldest. I should have been trying to lead them out of that or make better decisions,

but I'm the one corrupting them. And that's when God showed me. He said, you're nothing but a two-bit thug and a criminal, and there's nothing honorable about what you do. And that realization is what made me change. I didn't see anything wrong with it. I felt like the more we take them out, the more we eliminate them,

the safer our neighborhood is. I don't know how other gangs started, but our gang came together and formed because people were coming in and terrorizing our neighborhood. So in some weird, twisted way, you were almost chivalrous for your people. Yeah. That's crazy. We vowed to make the neighborhood safe no matter what it, like what it came with it or at whatever the expense was. So you've had all the success in helping gangsters. like yourself, transform into gangsters for Christ.

And we're going to skip around a little bit because I want to go back to what we're just talking about. But first, I'm interested because you just said it, what was it like the very first time you talked to a gangster about Jesus? I got to believe they're like, man, I know you. I know what you've done. What you're talking about? I mean, I got to believe it was kind of like that.

It was in the 90s when God told me to go do what we were doing. You know, he told me to go preach to the hood. He tried me to go preach to the gangsters from my hood. And he had me, and it wasn't just anyone. He, I mean, he wanted me to go talk to the active shooters. I don't know if you know this about our gang, but we came out in Time Life magazine because we had a guy tried to get out and they put him on his knees right there at Evergreen Park and put two buckshots in his head.

Say what? Say that again? They put him on his knees and put two buck shots in his head. They executed it. Your gang, because somebody in your gang wanted out. Yeah, they killed him. Right there. And so when God was telling you.

me you need to go over there. I was like, ah, you know, no, I'm good, you know. I don't know about that one, you know, and then you want me to go talk to the shooters, like, hold up, you know. I made every excuse you could think of. Like, you know, I'm not old, man. I ain't that bad of a person. Church is for old people. And I'll get my life right later, you know, and I just ran, you know. But he didn't get off me and he wanted me to go do it. And so I did. I went and talked to the guy, And I was talking to him about Jesus, and this is what he said. He said, you know what? If you drink a beer with me, I'll listen to you.

All right, cool. We're about a six-pack in. He was, you want to go get some more beer? Like, yeah, man, we're talking and talking. He pulls over in the middle of the street. He said, now, why would I listen to you talk to me about Jesus while you're drinking beer? And it just completely shut my mouth. I was like, yeah, I'm not good at this.

And so that was my first time trying to talk to a gangster about Jesus. Jesus, but I was like, when I went all in and I fully surrendered my life to God, like I ran. At that point, I ran from that call. In 2009, when I said yes, I knew the cost. I knew I could die. I knew I could get jumped. They could jump you out. I had a player that here, they call it getting beat out.

Yeah. My rules for my football, our colors were blue and gold. the football team's colors. And so I made a rule quickly. I mean, the deal was, how in the world can I get these kids fighting for each other on Friday night on a football field when they're going to go bang against each other sometimes on Saturday? So my rule was I was fed up with it was the only colors you can wear blue and gold if you won't be part of the football team, which means these kids had to go back and say, as long as I'm playing football, I can't do gang stuff. And there was one really violent gang that a freshman, 5-4 couldn't be 110 pounds. He came to practice Monday.

And he had knuckle bumps all over him. And I had no idea why. And he was, I'm like, man, you're right? And he's like, I'm cool, coach. Let's roll. And I found out later that's what they did. They beat him out three minutes. And like a bunch of guys on him beat him out.

That's a real thing. Yeah. I had a friend, God told him to pick aside. He was in prison and he said, he went up to all the homies and he said, I'm off count. I'm walking with Jesus now. On count, meaning I'm out. Yeah. I don't, I'm not going to sit at the table.

I'm not going to put in no work. I'm off count. Like, I'm no longer gang banging. So they beat him, went into PC, moved him to, I think he went to Eldorator after that. And they beat him up over there too. So, you know, it's a thing. It's a thing. I mean, it's, I don't know about how other gangs do it, but in our gang, you got to, you got to retire.

You got to be like 30-some years old before you could retire. You know what I mean? Like, they won't let you, especially if you're locked up. They won't let you off camp. Or if you, you know, if you say, hey, you know what, I'm not banging, then there's consequences that come with that. And they're going to jump you, they're going to beat you up. They're going to try to take you out, you know.

So there is a certain amount of terrorism that comes with it, you know. I knew that cost. For the first time of my life, I wasn't lying. For the first time of my life, I was living right and I was honoring God. So I was like, I'm cool dying like that. You know what I'm saying? So I went and made it known. I preached the gospel to everybody from the first generation, second generation, third generation,

four generation, rival gang members. I mean, I just don't care. I'm talking to it. I'm preaching to whoever will listen. We'll be right back. Harry Styles, live in London, England at Wembley Stadium. This is Harry Styles. IHart Radio wants to send you and a mate across the pond,

with flights from Virgin Atlantic, hotel from tripcentral.ca, tickets, and $1,000 cash. Download the free IHart Radio app. Listen to IHart new music for 10 minutes. Enter to win. Every day is another chance to see. see Harry Styles. Very excited to see you at the show.

Kiss all the time. Disco occasionally available now. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year.

Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tauntons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith Rule of Two.

Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do a little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English.

Each episode, we pick a here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 was big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack all day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack, so I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now, so.

Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes, I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years. for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I know there's a story that I want you to tell, but first, to better set the stage for that, it's kind of a trope that young men who don't have fathers and families find themselves in gangs. In your case, that was absolutely true. What was wrong with your family coming up? What was your start?

So my mom left my dad when I was like one years old You know like I think one and a half or something And she married the dope man She married the dope man Yeah we were going to Mexico And picking up you know We go over there and pick up loads And come back across with them

All the way to Wichita? Mm-hmm You would go to Mexico Pick up the drugs and drive all the way to Kansas They'd take the car apart Gas tank everything Drop that thing, pack it up And we'd

So you've been part of all that too Oh yeah. I mean, I was like seven times, seven years old, first time I saw somebody get shot. When I turned six, he bought me a six-pack, got me drunk, and then spanked me for getting drunk. You know what I mean? Like that was kind of my upbringing. He was putting beer in my bottle. And so, you know, by age seven, my sisters had these, you know, they did their first communion. And so they had these prayer books for their first communion. And I mean, this guy raped both of my sisters. He dragged my mom down the street by her hair, you know what I'm saying for like two blocks, beat us all the time. And around that time, I got their little First Communion books and I was

praying to God that it would stop. And it didn't stop. So I was a little kid and I just came to the conclusion that either God wasn't real or he didn't care. And once that happened, I look back on my life, that's when I became like the most bitter kid you could think of, more getting into fights. Nobody taught me how to break in the houses than Rob. I was just doing it. Getting into fights, getting kicked out of school, just every type of problem that you could think of. And, you know, I got kicked out of my house at the age of 15. And the gangs, they literally took me in. Like literally, I mean, we grew up, you know, poor, never had no nice clothes, nothing. I'll go and live with this guy.

He's, I'm 15. He's like 21, and he's got all the nice clothes from the mall. And he's like, hey, whatever you want to wear, there it is. And, I mean, I was already violent. I was already. So none of that, hey, come over here and do that. I didn't feel like that's nothing. I was already doing it.

You know what I'm saying? So, but to really look out for me, which he did. Like the gang that I came from really looked out for me. They really took time and looked out for me. from me and, you know what I'm saying? I could have been sleeping under the, you know, bridge or something. And they literally took me in and literally took care of me. So to me, they were a family.

You know what I'm saying? And when I came to know Jesus, I took the gospel to my family. How common is that story among gang members? It's pretty common, man. There's a lot of lost kids out there that don't have nobody. There's a lot of kids whose parents don't care. There's a lot of kids who the dad's in. prison and the mom's a junkie.

You know, there's a lot of stories and a lot of families where the mom cares more about the boyfriend she has now, not so much about the kids, and the kids don't have nobody, and then the gangs take them in. There's so many, so many kids that are out there right now that don't have nobody. And it's dysfunctional. It's violence, it's drugs, it's selling drugs. It's every type of evil that you could think of, but it's also community.

It's also acceptance. It's also every time I see you, I'm going to give you a hug. So there's a twisted part of it where there is really like a sense of love. There is really a sense of community. There is a sense of acceptance, you know. And if you've never had that,

your own family didn't love you and accept you. And you come and now you have that? I mean, it's like, I don't know. is there's nothing like it so you've alluded to 2009 you've alluded to despite growing up like that and despite being at the top levels of the gang and despite your prayer book when you're a little boy you decided god didn't exist or he didn't care because he wasn't answering your prayers despite all of that somehow you found faith. How'd that happen?

So I was going through a divorce and had a guy named Victor Rizzo. He runs a car club called Latino Dreams Car Club. And one of my OGs from the gang, he had switches on his car. You know, and I was like, man, where did you get the hydraulics? Man, I want some hydraulics. He's like, man, if you go join Latino Dreams, man, they'll put, they'll put some switches on your car. So it switches what makes it go up down and all that. Yeah, so I joined.

You know, I went over there like, what's up, man, I need to, you know. And now here's what I didn't know they were a Christian car club. You know, I had no idea. And so I'm going over there. Hey, I go over there and I'll befriend them, right? You know, because I'm trying to be friends with you. And I think, man, the guy Gilbert's the one who put the switches on my car. We first talked, it was $1,000.

He was going to do it with $1,000. He's going to put switches on my car. And you're banging. still at this time. Oh, I'm active. I'm 100% active. So $1,000 is you just go get that somewhere. Yeah, but I knew how to run game too. So by the time we were done, I only paid him 100. You know what I mean? Like, but I helped him paint a car. I helped him put a motor in a car. You know, like I'm doing everything I can to smooth them over and, you know, and, and, and do all these things. And so I get to get to know the guy, Victorizo, he, you know, got a lot of respect for him.

I was going through a divorce. Shoot, I had like five cars. I had just totaled one. A totaled one. Yeah, I was driving crazy. I had like a 400 and a Buick Regal, like a 400 and some motor. I was going fast and I didn't see the curve and I just broke the whole undercarriage of it. And I can just think about this.

We were such sorry friends. I had some six by nines with those big magnets and it hit my homie speedy in the head. And we all just, we're like gremlin's, dude. We're just a laugh at them like, ah, you know? It was like we were. Oh, so it was wrong with us, man. And so, clearly. I mean, so I call this guy Victor up and I just dump all that I got going on.

You know, I'm just really at a low point and not really wanting to change. Just looking for the first positive person I can and you don't dump on my. Just venting a little. Yeah. And so he was like, dude, you need God in your life, you know. And I was just like, yeah, you know, I'll try anything at this point, you know, because you're listening to me, you know? And so he's like, you know what?

Why don't you come with me to church? Well, I forgot. He said that he was going to come pick me up. And so he shows up like an hour after I show up to my house. And I'm like, drunk. I've been up. I'm all yayed out. And I'm like, dude, I can't disrespect your church like that, man.

I've been drinking. I've been, I'm all, I ain't even ready. And he was like, oh, church don't start for two hours. And so he wasn't taking a no for an answer. And he didn't live on my side of town. He lived on the West Side. So I'm like, I didn't want to disrespect him by not going. So I went and like for four or five, he goes, look, we have a series.

The series was six secrets of how to build a rock-solid relationship. I never forget it because that was like my first time ever going to a Christian church. And I don't say the first four or five times he picked me up, I was twisted off of something. And then I finally was like, told the homies like, hey, man, I need to be sober when he comes because he's going to think I'm full of. Like, I really do want help, but I got problems. You know what I mean? I don't know how to get it right, you know? And so I had a, my daughter and my oldest daughter was about six months old.

And I was like, you know what? I'm going to have her at the house. And I'm going to have her. If I have her, I'm not going to drink. So I'm going to be there sober. Now, the funny thing is, every time I went in there and I was gone off of a substance, I was like, man, I don't need to go to church. I'm good at this already.

You know, I was impaired judgment. The day I went in there sober, man, the word hit me so hard, I wanted to cry. And in my culture, men don't cry. And I'm looking to the left and to the right. I'm like, can they see me? I ended up getting up and running out of the church because I didn't want nobody to see me cry and I couldn't hold it in. Is that the machismo thing? I was taught growing up that men don't cry.

Period. Don't cry. Don't apologize either. You know what I'm saying? That was the way we were raised. And so... You don't even say I'm sorry. No, my mom...

Even when you know you're dead-ass wrong. My mom would not accept an apology from us. What? Yeah, we'd not accept one. So not only were men teaching you not to apologize, the women were reinforcing that by not accepting apology even if you did give one. Mm-hmm. So zero grace, zero redemption.

Yep. That's twisted. That may be the most twisted thing I've heard so far. That breaks my heart. That kids are being raised that way. Well, she... No wonder it's all about get even. No wonder it's all about get-backs.

Yeah, because there ain't no forgiving. You don't, I mean, you don't, it's like, we're going to let some time go by. We're going to make you, we're going to let you think you got away with it, and then we're going to hit you. Really? Mm-hmm. patience

and that concludes part one of our conversation with Benny Santabanias and you don't want to miss part two it's now available to listen to together guys we can change this country but it starts with you I'll see in part two

imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged it's the enhanced games some call it grotesque others say it's unleashing human potential either way the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year.

Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J.

And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick you here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it with our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. It was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.

Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tantons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to blow your mind on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is Saigon, the story of my family and of the country that shaped us. From IHeart Podcast, Saigon. You don't think I'm serious about a free... Vietnam. One city, a divided country, and the war that tore America apart. This is for Vietnam. They're pouring patrol all over here. Freedom for Vietnam!

There's a fire coming to this country and it's going to burn out everything. Listen to Saigon on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.