An Army of Normal Folks - Joe and Kelli Carson: We Had No Idea How Small Our World Was (Pt 1)

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

The Carsons had “The American Christian Dream” of a nice house and golfing at the country club. But then their son spent a weekend as a homeless person and everything changed. They have since sold... their dental practice, founded the Memphis Dream Center, and have lived life with people who didn’t look just like them. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When somebody's doing well, they get a promotion, they get a new home, we say, wow, you're so blessed. And in American Christianity, we consider being well-off or comfortable or wealthy as being blessed. I don't think that's the way God defined it, but it's the way we define it. And so when I say the American Christian dream, we all want a nice house in the suburbs and kids in a safe neighborhood. And we had that.
Starting point is 00:00:36 And enough income to take care of your bills and take two vacations a year. Yeah, that's exactly right. Play golf, you know, every weekend. And yeah, it was great. Was that your life? It was. Absolutely. Everybody that we spent time with in church at the country club in the neighborhood looked like us,
Starting point is 00:00:55 had a life that was similar to ours. And we had no idea how small our world was. Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband. I'm a father. I'm an entrepreneur.
Starting point is 00:01:13 And I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis. And that last part unintentionally led to an Oscar for the film about our team. It's called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice suits using big words that nobody ever uses or even understands on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks, us, just you and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Joe and Kelly Carson have done.
Starting point is 00:01:47 As you just heard, the dentist and his broad, they had a great life until one of their kids, of all people, experienced something that woke them up from the slumber of their comfort. I cannot wait for you to meet the Carson's and hear what they've done since, right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted.
Starting point is 00:02:25 But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee, Roy Wood Jr., and Charlamagne the God.
Starting point is 00:02:59 We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me,
Starting point is 00:03:17 Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story as part of the MyCultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The impact of a meal goes well beyond feeding our bodies, because feeling full can sound like this.
Starting point is 00:04:32 How did the interview go? I did it! I got the job! I can't believe it! And like this. Mom! I got first place at the science fair with my volcano project! That's amazing, sweetie! Congratulations! Because when people are fed, futures are nourished, and everyone deserves to live a full life.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Join the movement to end hunger at feedingamerica.org slash act now. Brought to you by Feeding America and the Ad Council. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, James Brown, BB King, Miriam Makeba. I shook up the world. James Brown said, said love. And the kid said, I shook up the world! Jane Brown said, said love! And the kid said, I'm black and I'm proud! Black boxing stars and black music royalty,
Starting point is 00:05:10 together in the heart of Zaire, Africa. Three days of music and then the boxing event. What was going on in the world at the time made this fight as important as anything else that's going on on the planet. My grandfather laid on the ropes and let George Foreman basically just punch himself out. Welcome to Rumble, the story of a world in transformation.
Starting point is 00:05:33 The 60s and prior to that, you couldn't call a person black. And how we arrived at this peak moment. I don't have to be what you want me to be. We all came from the continent of Africa. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and the Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Malcolm Gladwell. 25 years ago, I wrote my first book called The Tipping Point, all about the moments when
Starting point is 00:06:06 an idea or trend crosses a certain threshold and spreads like wildfire. I've had a lot of time to think about that book, and the way I thought about Tipping Points changed. So now I'm releasing the sequel, Revenge of the Tipping Point, where I return to the subjects of social epidemics and the dark side of contagious phenomena. You can hear a sneak peek of the audiobook on my podcast, Revisionist History. Plus, we'll dive into a duo of narrative episodes about my favorite trial in American history and a reevaluation of the broken windows theory I explored in my first book. Find Revenge of
Starting point is 00:06:43 the Tipping Point wherever you get your audiobooks and listen to Revisionist History on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Kelly and Joe Carson, what's up? How are you? We're great. Thank you for having us. Thank you for being here. Cool story, but let's kind of go back to set the table. But where are you guys from originally? Well, I grew up in Arkansas. Where? Small town, McCrory, Arkansas. Oh boy, that is a small town. I've never heard of it. That's small. Where? Small town, McCrory, Arkansas. Oh boy, that is a small town. I've never heard of it. That's small. Where? North? South? It is near Searcy. Yeah. I know where Searcy is. I do know where Searcy is. Searcy used to have a really good barbecue
Starting point is 00:07:36 place called Bull Dark Barbecue. Do you remember that? It's still there. It's actually in Bald Knob. Bald Knob, that's right. Which, yeah. Absolutely. If you relate things to food, I'll pretty much know an area near it. And Joe, you're from? I'm from LA, lower Alabama. Yeah, Mobile? No, actually the other side of the state, down and around Dothan.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Got it. So close to Panama City, grew up in the country, cotton and peanuts all around me. Wow, how'd y'all meet? We met in college, actually. What college? Harding University in Sersing. Well, can I tell the story?
Starting point is 00:08:11 I wish you would. Oh no. Here we go. So, our freshman year of college, we were a small school in Arkansas, and- The Lions, Harding- Bison. Bison. Bison.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Harding-Bison. Bison, I missed it. Sorry. Defending national champions, by the way. In football. Yeah. At that division. Yeah. Good for them.
Starting point is 00:08:33 But anyway, so he was coming, going home to Atlanta at the time for the summer, the end of our freshman year. We'd never met. His car broke down. My mom actually helped him and came home that day and said, hey, there's a boy named Joe Carson. Have you met him? And I'm like, no, mom, I don't know who that is. You know, and she said, oh, she said, you need to meet him. He's tan and he has muscles. And we did not meet for almost another year. The end of our sophomore year, mutual friends were dating.
Starting point is 00:09:07 We met, I mentioned something to my mom, and she was like, that's that boy. And the rest is history. So your mom set you off a broken down car. Yes, exactly right. That's perfect. All right, so you guys meet in college, get married, start a family, and you're a dentist, right?
Starting point is 00:09:26 Yeah, so graduated from the University of Tennessee right here, dental college in 1988. So it's been a few years. And you started a practice. Started a practice, worked in a group practice for a couple of years, and then went out on my own, and very successful. We were doing great, had four boys and you know,
Starting point is 00:09:48 life was good. What are the ages of your kids? Now? Yeah. 38, 36, 35 and 30. Is he 31 now? 31, okay. So they were 8, 6, 5, and 1. Yes. Yes, that's a house full. Yes. So you're building your family and are you working outside the home? Not outside the home. I was a stay at home mom and then a homeschooler boys.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Got it. As well. All right, so your kids are lopped into there together. You had four kids in seven years. Lisa and I had four kids in seven years. Lisa and I had four kids in four years. Right. I thought I'd go ahead and drop that in on you. They are 28, 27, 26 and 25. Yeah. But that's a whole nother story. So you guys, yeah. Did you notice like we did after three, it didn't matter?
Starting point is 00:10:42 No, but we got on city water and it cleared up. We couldn't figure it out for a minute. So you guys, you know, a lot of times in our stories, we go back deep into the history of people's childhoods, but to you guys, it's not germane to the story. What's germane to the story is you guys made in college, love affair, had your four kids, worked hard. Clearly, if your car is breaking down, coming back from Harding, you don't come from a whole lot of wealth. And you built your family. And you went to school, worked hard, started a dentist practice, I guess is what you call it. In debt up to my ears. In debt up to your ears. But as a dentist, even though in debt up to your ears,
Starting point is 00:11:32 is that debt by school debt and also starting the office kind of debt? Yeah, yeah. So like any business, you've got leverage, but you have a successful practice and you have a successful family. Yeah, and you have a successful family Yeah, and you guys are kind of living. Yeah, we the American dream. Well, what we call the American Christian dream You know it just on that. Well, I think I think we When somebody's doing well, they get a promotion they get a new home. We say wow, you're so blessed and in American Christianity,
Starting point is 00:12:17 we consider being well-off or comfortable or wealthy as being blessed. I don't think that's the way God defined it, but it's the way we define it. And so when I say the American Christian dream, we all want a nice house in the suburbs and kids in a safe neighborhood. And we had that. And enough income to take care of your bills and take two vacations a year. Yeah, that's exactly right. Play golf every weekend and yeah, it was great. Was that your life?
Starting point is 00:12:41 It was. Absolutely. Everybody that we spent time with in church at the country club in the neighborhood looked like us, had a life that was similar to ours, and we had no idea how small our world was. We'll get to that in a minute. But I remember reading that I think your practice was in the top 2% in volume and profits? Yeah, yeah. We were doing... Again, I want to say very blessed because that's the word that comes out. But yeah, we were doing well, very successful, and had a very simple practice. Just one dentist,
Starting point is 00:13:22 one hygienist, one assistant, and one front desk person. We did it slow on purpose and we just took care of people and they took care of us. I always believe that if you take care of people, they'll take care of you. And again, I guess we did things okay. Clearly you're a very faithful guy, but I have to ask you a side question. Sure. Don't you think all dentists have a little sadism in them? Oh no, no. I mean, I know you guys love to drill on people's teeth and scrape their gums and make them squirm. What's wrong with you people?
Starting point is 00:13:54 Well, if you really wanna know. Come on, Kelly, help me out, Kelly. I just came from the dentist. That's what's so funny. I had a dental appointment this morning. So my heroes growing up were Dick Buccus and Jack Tatum. Does that tell you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Does that might tell you a little bit? Yeah, those guys were, yeah, that's funny. OK, so everything's going great. You have your life. And your kids are in college. And in 2008, your your oldest son whose name is Clay. Clay. What are your kids names? Clay is 38 now. Clay, Logan, Austin and Braden. Braden? What do y'all have against girls?
Starting point is 00:14:41 Well we have four granddaughters. Oh there you go. So it came back around. All right, so you got Clay Logan, Austin Braden, and your oldest is in college. He was a Baylor. And tell me the story, Kelly. It comes best from a mom. Yes. So the summer after his freshman year, he was working at a Christian sports camp, Canna Cuck up in Missouri. And he read a book and it was so- My daughter was a counselor at Canna Cuck one year. So it was so interesting because we had given him this book. He said, Hey, I need a couple of good books to read over the summer. And in the book, literally, there was this snippet, maybe one page about a program called Missionaire.
Starting point is 00:15:29 And it was kind of like it was mentioned in passing. We both read the book and it didn't come out to us. What was the title of the book? It was the 40-day… Starving Jesus. …Starving Jesus. It was the 40-day fast journey of the three guys, three pastors who started the XXX Church, an online basically pornography addiction site, you know, just to help guys.
Starting point is 00:15:56 So they would hit XXX and XXX Church would come up. It was a brilliant plan to be able to start anyway. So you tell them to read this book this summer. Clay was reading this book and in this book, they're doing a journey, a 40 day journey around the United States and they stop in at this program called Mission Year. And Mission Year now has actually merged with another organization called the Simple Way. But anyway, at the time Mission Year was a nonprofit organization and they they placed 20, I mean, I'm sorry, they placed 18 to 28 year olds in the poorest
Starting point is 00:16:35 area of a major city. And those kids commit to live in poverty for a year. And the premise of it is to really learn from their neighbors. And so Clay, that jumped out to him and so he came home that summer going back to Baylor sophomore year and just he mentioned it. I said I really want to look into this. I think I'd like to take a year and do this and we're like well we don't know anything about what is this and and but he went on back to school and literally through the fall never mentioned it again. And so we kind of forgot about it and then probably like good yeah yeah my thought was as soon as you graduate college you can take so
Starting point is 00:17:18 that fast forward to February of his sophomore year and I get a call one day and he said hey mom I wanted to give you and dad a heads up. I just applied to that program called Mission Year and I was like, wait, what? And so I said, tell me more about it. And he goes, I just applied, I may not get in, don't freak out mom, as a 20 year old would say. And so of started research, looking online, trying to read more about it. And so, he said, Mom, and I said, have you prayed about that? You know, we did all the mom thing. Have you prayed about it? What do you think? You know, we'd like to talk more. And he said, Mom, I've prayed the whole first semester. And he said, it just won't
Starting point is 00:18:00 go away. I think this is what God wants me to do. And at that point, I was like, what do you say to your parents? Like, I mean, if you've done that and feel like this, we're going to support you. First of all, if you have a 20-year-old college that's praying about something and says that's what God wants them to do, it's hard to argue with. Exactly. 20-year-olds in college don't typically have those kind of conversations. And so, in April, he found out that he was accepted in the program and he was going to be placed on the South Side of Chicago. And it's funny because anyone who is from Chicago will tell you the South Side is the
Starting point is 00:18:32 worst side. And he was placed in Inglewood. It is an area of Chicago where three major gangs intersect. All right, come out. What does placed mean? Means that was his placement. That's the area he was going to this organization of a house there that he's just gonna live in So he had to raise his own support to pay for a flat So there were six kids on his team three guys and three girls and they lived in a three-bedroom flat
Starting point is 00:18:59 Two of them left at Christmas and didn't come back didn't make make it through the year. And he lived on $17 a week. So basically, Missionaire would research the neighborhood, and they want you to live as your neighbors live so that you can really learn what it's like. You face the same challenges. So he went. He could not have a computer. He could not have a car. They had no, because most of their neighbors didn't. They got a city bus pass and subway pass. And then he raised support to help pay for the flat they lived in, which was pretty run down. And then he got a $17 a week stipend.
Starting point is 00:19:40 And so they would pull their money together to purchase their groceries and hygiene products, anything. And so they would pull their money together to purchase their groceries and hygiene products, anything. You know, there was no run into Starbucks in the mornings, no, you know, anything like that. And how long do they live this way? For a year. Holy smokes.
Starting point is 00:19:55 So he lived for a year. And as he tells his now wife, you would not have liked me before mission year, because it really…and so when he did that, they gave them a list of books they were to purchase before they came and they would read through that together as a team through the year. Then they had a city leader that they would meet with every week. They had to serve 35 hours a week in their neighborhood, had to find a place to serve. Clay spent his mornings at something called Teamwork Englewood, and it was a gang and violence prevention agency. His supervisor there had spent eight years in prison as a gang member drug, you know, drug-related charges.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Met Jesus in prison, came out, started this, helped start this organization. And so Clay worked there in the mornings and the afternoons. He worked in an after-school program called By the Hand for Inner City Children. 00.00.00 Were you worried? 00.00.00 I wasn't. And I know that sounds crazy. I would probably, now that I've been in Inner City Ministry, be more worried if it happened today, maybe, than I was then.
Starting point is 00:21:01 00.00.00 Were you oblivious? 00.00.00 I think I was. 00.00.. What about you? Yeah, I mean, I think I knew I had knowledge of the potential, but because I had never experienced it, I didn't recognize how real that potential really was. Yeah, and so I think for me, I'll be honest, at the time I just thought, God is taking him there. God's gonna take care of him. I just, he was so confident
Starting point is 00:21:28 that this was what he was supposed to do, that I think that helped us as parents. And now, a few messages from our generous sponsors, but first, I got something really cool to tell you about. We're hosting our second ever live interview. We're doing it in Memphis on November 7th with Todd Comer-Nickey. This guy is the director of one of the most
Starting point is 00:21:56 thought-provoking, inspiring, deep movies ever made, one of my favorites, Elf. But he's also the writer of Sully, and now he is the director of Angel Studios' upcoming film, Bonhoeffer, Pastor, Spy, Assassin. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor who tried to rally the church to stop Hitler.
Starting point is 00:22:21 He was involved in Operation Seven, which was an operation to smuggle Jews into neutral Switzerland to ultimately save their life. And then he joined the famous Valkyrie Plot, which was the plot to assassinate Hitler. And he was executed in a concentration camp for his involvement in that. He's one of the most epic examples of what we're looking for. An ordinary person who lived an extraordinary life of service all the way to the point of death. And I hope you can join us to get inspired
Starting point is 00:22:54 and meet the incredible director that is now telling Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer's story. You can RSVP for free tickets, free tickets, at bonhofferdirector.eventbrite.com. That's B-O-N-H-O-E-F-F-E-R, director.eventbrite.com in Memphis on November 7th. It should be a good night. We'll be right back. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted. But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight. I'm bringing in some FOKs,
Starting point is 00:23:57 friends of Katie's to help me out like Ezra Klein, Van Jones, Jen Psaki, Estet Herndon, but we're also going to have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee, Roy Wood Jr., and Charlamagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about?
Starting point is 00:24:22 Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:25:44 The impact of a meal goes well beyond feeding our bodies, because feeling full can sound like this. How did the interview go? I did it! I got the job! I can't believe it! And like this. Mom! I got first place at the science fair with my volcano project! That's amazing, sweetie. Congratulations! Because when people are fed, futures are nourished,
Starting point is 00:26:03 and everyone deserves to live a full life. Join the movement to end hunger at feedingamerica.org slash act now. Brought to you by Feeding America and the Ad Council. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, James Brown, BB King, Miriam Makeba. I shook up the world. James Brown said, said love. And the kid said, I'm black and I'm proud. Black boxing stars and black music royalty, together in the heart of Zaire, Africa.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Three days of music and then the boxing event. What was going on in the world at the time made this fight as important as anything else is going on on the planet. My grandfather laid on the ropes and let George Foreman basically just punch himself out. Welcome to Rumble, the story of a world in transformation. The 60s and prior to that, you couldn't call a person black. And how we arrived at this peak moment. I don't have to be what you want me to be.
Starting point is 00:27:00 We all came from the continent of Africa. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and the Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Malcolm Gladwell. 25 years ago, I wrote my first book called The Tipping Point, all about the moments when an idea or trend crosses a certain threshold and spreads like wildfire. I've had a lot of time to think about that book and the way I thought about Tipping Point's changed. So now I'm releasing the sequel, Revenge of the Tipping Point, where I return to the subjects of social epidemics and the dark side of contagious phenomena. You can hear a sneak peek of the audiobook on my podcast, Revisionist History.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Plus, we'll dive into a duo of narrative episodes about my favorite trial in American history and a re-evaluation of the broken windows theory I explored in my first book. Find Revenge of the Tipping Point wherever you get your audio books and listen to revisionist history on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's such a weird tale of two worlds being the son of a successful dentist who has had, you know, all that that entails going to Baylor, which is a beautiful school and is not a cheap tuition and all of that to be plopped down in South Chicago with $17 a week to live on and infusing himself into that
Starting point is 00:28:45 was $17 a week to live on and infusing himself into that environment. This would take an hour to, maybe I need to have him on to tell me what he learned, but the bottom line is, during this year, I read that he also was required to go be a homeless guy or something. Yes. So explain that. If that wasn't enough, let's also go make it even harder on you. Sure.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Actually, it was early in the year and it was intentional early in the year. I think it was a... In October. Yeah, and it was a real wake up call to all of us. So he called, it was on a Monday. I did not, we weren't aware he had done that. So they could call to all of us. But so he called it was on a Monday. I did not. We weren't aware he had done that. So they could call home once a week. Mondays were their Sabbath.
Starting point is 00:29:30 And so we could talk to him then. And we really didn't talk to him other than that. And so he called on Monday and said, Mom, we got to tell you about my weekend. And I said, OK. And he said on Friday, because they didn't know it was going to have on Friday, said we got picked up at our flat Friday afternoon. We were all told to be there and our city director picked us up and they took them to a clothing closet and told them to pick out things for the weekend. Said you can keep one item of your own and Clay chose to keep his shoes. I think his tennis shoes. And they said you're
Starting point is 00:30:02 going to- He's still a shoe. He's a sneaker head. He's a sneaker head, yeah. But anyway, so they, and they dropped them off in downtown Chicago at an old abandoned gym with a peanut butter sandwich and said, we want you to live as homeless for a weekend. It was called a prop week… A week or a weekend? Weekend. It was called prop. It's Popper's rite of passage. And basically they were saying, this is your rite of paupers right of passage. And basically they were saying, this is your right of passage.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Okay. So they took them to a basically a free cloth pantry and said, get out of the stuff that you're comfortable in that fits. Yes. You can keep your shoes. Yeah. But you pick something out to wear and the next two days you're living on the streets and we're starting off the peanut butter sandwich and you don't even get your 17 bucks. Yes. And you need to figure out. And he calls you after he did this. Yeah, call me after. I'm glad it was after. So go ahead. And he just started talking about the weekend and how people, he said most people, mom, wouldn't even look us in the eye because I mean, they looked
Starting point is 00:31:01 home and they weren't, they were told, don't lie somebody asked you but you're don't offer which you know, we want you to really experience it. So he met several other homeless and he said one of the things that he learned was they said we stand around and watch because there are a lot of sidewalk cafes in downtown Chicago. They have seating outdoors and he said, so one of the things we were told, just watch. And when somebody gets up, you've got to get to the table before the, um, bus boy gets there and get the food. And it was interesting. He said, cause I never thought that any food I leaves could be food for someone else, you know, we just don't think that way, but he said one thing over the
Starting point is 00:31:44 weekend, really, one conversation was the lasting conversation for him. He was sitting on the subway steps asking people for money. He said it was about two o'clock on Saturday afternoon. He had not eaten. He was getting hungry and he was just asking people for some money to get something to eat. This lady stopped and he said basically she looked at him and just said, you're pathetic. Why don't you go out and get a job like the rest of us? And he said at that point I realized even about myself that I had just made, we make so many assumptions and often assume we know someone's story before we listen to their story. And so he said she ended up ironically giving him a dollar bill, threw
Starting point is 00:32:25 it at him and said, I don't know why I'm doing this. You'll probably just go spend it on drugs or alcohol. And he said, you know, I just thought, wow, have I not done the same thing? But when he, and when he said that he was telling me this and honestly, my first reaction at my immediately, I thought, how dare she treat my son that way! And then immediately... Oh yeah, she's a mama bear, trust me. I am a mama bear. And then immediately the Holy Spirit said, have you not done the same thing with someone
Starting point is 00:32:53 else's son or daughter in the streets of Memphis? And I just started thinking about the times I was in downtown Memphis and there would be someone on the street, and I would... I remember specifically one time there was a man trying to sell flowers, he was obviously homeless. And I remember grabbing my boys, they were little and I was saying to them, just keep walking, just keep walking. Like just walking past him, wouldn't even look at him.
Starting point is 00:33:17 And yet Clay had experienced that. And he said, I think for me, it was the, it was the dehumanization, the lack, there's no dignity, no, just the feeling of being completely invisible, that people don't even see you. And I literally got off the phone and I looked at Joe and I was sobbing and I said, our son met me this weekend in the streets of Chicago because I've done that. I'm that person. I'm that lady. And so that for me was probably the big thing. It just hit me hard. And I thought, and we just began to pray and I just, we both started talking and we said, life has to change. I mean, we can't, I don't want to be that person anymore. And so all the books that he bought over the summer to read,
Starting point is 00:34:05 we went and bought a second copy. And we started going through. And their books, some were...most were Christian authors. Some were social science. Some were social science, just understanding people and where they are and where they come from and how their circumstances might be different if their background had been different or their opportunities had been different. So we learned a lot. I'm about to be devil's advocate, okay? Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:33 It's required in this conversation. I live in Memphis. I'm a Memphis guy. My business is on the river, north of St. Jude, about two and a half miles. So that's North Memphis. New Chicago, Smokey City, Green Law. Yep, that'll be area well.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Okay, now you do. I do now. Yes, you do now. I did in the end. I know. I live in Central Gardens. Lovely neighborhood, lovely home, surrounded by a whole lot. But Lisa and I are not the let's run off to the suburb kind of people.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Put stakes where you are. So, having said that, this is not from the perspective of an urbanite, okay? Routinely, night nightly cars in our neighborhood are often broken into almost always if they're caught, they're homeless, they're put in jail for a day or given immediate bond, they're back on the streets doing the same thing again. That's not good for our same thing again. That's not good for our that's that's that's that's bad for your society. Some of the people that I run into at the gas stations are
Starting point is 00:35:57 habitual. I run to the same people over and over again and many of them are aggressive and oftentimes you can tell they are either high or drunk, and some of them are scary. And I don't want my wife in that position, nor do I want my children in that position to deal with that. I don't think it does your city well, or your tourism well,
Starting point is 00:36:24 when if you're going down any major thoroughfare in downtown or any of the arteries leading to downtown, you see people sleeping on bus benches and park benches are laid in the grass on the side of the road. It makes people feel uneasy and unsafe. It is unclean. And it is a part of our society that exists that in large part is wrought with problems. And I think everything I said is fair and honest. I agree. I agree. And again, you're talking to an entrepreneur, pull yourself up by your own bootstrap guy. So yes, I hear everything that you're saying.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Now to the other side, they're human beings. They're somebody's son or daughter. Mental or mental sickness runs rampant in this community. And so I think most people in the middle of the world, certainly there's crazy people on both sides of the issue, but most people recognize the two things I just said, both sides. So did your son give you any glimpse into how to balance those two worlds from his experience? Are you going to answer? Go ahead. I'll defer.
Starting point is 00:38:06 First of all, I want to back up and just say, before we stepped into this world just for us and then I'm going to answer your question, I assumed that everyone who was homeless was there because they had drug problems, mental health issues, alcohol problems, those type of things. What we have found, and certainly there's that, but many become drug addicts or alcoholics after they land on the streets. And it's not because they were that that they landed on the streets. Something has happened to land them there and you know when we lose hope we give up and when we give up we give in to the circumstances around us and we have found that to be true for many unhoused. And I would say the majority of unhoused. I would say a lot.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Yeah. Now back to our son Clay. He He did not, I mean, I don't know because it was just a weekend. Now, as far as living in poverty, one thing he told us after that weekend, Mom and Dad, when you start this, like when we got ready to start doing this ministry, he said, please don't give out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He said, I can't tell you how many homeless said, that's all we get. And he said, and from our perspective, we want to say, well, you should be grateful. But from their perspective, you know, we have preferences as well. As you said, we're humans, we all have, we all have likes and dislikes. And just because I don't have a home doesn't mean that I don't have preferences. And so I've learned, I learned those types of things. I also learned that most of us are one caring person away from success, whatever that may be.
Starting point is 00:39:56 And many times we all need somebody to look us in the eye and say, I believe in you. And that's not happening with a lot of people. And many times, especially in the world of the unhoused, they come from generational poverty, they come from broken homes. Foster care. Yeah. Yes, very much. Especially the young, especially young.
Starting point is 00:40:22 We met so many, we've met so many 19, 20 year olds. I mean, there's a young man here that calls me mama every time he sees me because he's living on the streets and aged out of foster care. And so I think, yes, what you're saying is true. I think for me, I don't wanna get political or anything, but I think there's systemic issues surrounding that whole issue of homelessness, even within our city. I will tell you, it grieves me to drive by empty buildings and I'm like, well, you could build something here and bring people in and
Starting point is 00:41:00 house them. There's a shelter here, Calvary Rescue Mission, that is doing an incredible job of mentoring and discipling men. And we're seeing such a huge success right there of men who are finding homes, finding jobs, getting back on their feet. Yeah, getting back on their feet. So I think I get what you're saying. I totally get it. But I also think that sometimes we can, on this side of that, those of us who do have homes, do have jobs, are doing well, can let fear keep us from stepping into the world of someone else. And I think we want, I just, I think we miss out when we do that because our world has gotten so much bigger. And I mean, we're not perfect. And I don't,
Starting point is 00:41:52 I mean, there are times I'm walking around sometimes and I'm like, ooh, you know, I probably shouldn't be here by myself or I shouldn't be. But I think when you know you belong and you act like you belong, there's a respect there and I think the lines, the walls come down. And for the most part, what we found is when someone knows, hey, I really want to come alongside you. I'm not here to give you a handout and then leave. I'm going to keep coming back and I'm going to keep being here for you. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch and I'm exhausted. But turns out the end is near, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. This podcast is for people like me who need a little perspective and insight. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Van Jones,
Starting point is 00:43:00 Jen Psaki, Ested Herndon. But we're also gonna have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like Estet Herndon. But we're also gonna have some fun, even though these days fun and politics seems like an oxymoron. But we'll do that thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee, Roy Wood Jr. and Charlemagne the God. We're gonna take some viewer questions as well.
Starting point is 00:43:18 I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Power to the podcast for the people. So whether you're obsessed with the news or just trying to figure out what's going on, this season of Next Question is for you. Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,
Starting point is 00:43:44 a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story,
Starting point is 00:44:33 as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The impact of a meal goes well beyond feeding our bodies because feeling full can sound like this. How did the interview go? I did it! I got the job!
Starting point is 00:44:52 I can't believe it! And like this. Mom! I got first place at the science fair with my volcano project! That's amazing sweetie! Congratulations! Because when people are fed, futures are nourished, and everyone deserves to live a full life. Join the movement to end hunger
Starting point is 00:45:07 at feedingamerica.org slash act now. Brought to you by Feeding America and the Ad Council. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, James Brown, BB King, Miriam Makeba. I shook up the world. James Brown said, said love. And the kid said, I'm black and I'm proud. Black boxing stars and black music royalty,
Starting point is 00:45:27 together in the heart of Zaire, Africa. Three days of music and then the boxing event. What was going on in the world at the time made this fight as important that anything else is going on on the planet. My grandfather laid on the ropes and let George Foreman basically just punch himself out. Welcome to Rumble, the story of a world in transformation.
Starting point is 00:45:50 The 60s and prior to that, you couldn't call a person black. And how we arrived at this peak moment. I don't have to be what you want me to be. We all came from the continent of Africa. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and the Soul of 74 on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Malcolm Gladwell. 25 years ago, I wrote my first book called The Tipping Point, all about the moments when an idea or trend crosses a certain threshold and spreads like wildfire. I've had a lot of time to think about that
Starting point is 00:46:29 book and the way I thought about Tipping Point's changed. So now I'm releasing the sequel, Revenge of the Tipping Point, where I return to the subjects of social epidemics and the dark side of contagious phenomena. You can hear a sneak peek of the audiobook on my podcast, Revisionist History. Plus, we'll dive into a duo of narrative episodes about my favorite trial in American history and a reevaluation of the broken windows theory I explored in my first book. Find Revenge of the Tipping Point wherever you get your audiobooks and listen to Revisionist History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. We've had several homeless men, especially, sleep in our home.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Some people tell us we're crazy for doing that. Yeah, as a matter of fact, there's a story. One of our other sons came home from college. He was in high school at the time when all of this started, but he had gone off to college and he came home from college one, I guess it was Christmas break maybe, and he came home from college when I guess it was Christmas break maybe and he came in late like almost midnight by the time he got home. There's a dude. And there's a dude in his bed.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Like he walked in his bedroom, flipped on the light and a guy, Larry, Larry's about six eight probably and he sat up straight in the bed when the light turned on and scared my son. Larry has his own apartment now. He's no longer homeless. Yeah, and I will say, you mentioned, well, maybe Kelly mentioned it, but something about coming alongside people, again, there's an assumption. When men and women lose their humanity and their dignity, they give up trying. And it is a mindset.
Starting point is 00:48:28 And so is that a mental disability? I don't think so. Now there are probably a percentage, I would say it's probably below 30% that have a literal mental disability. Most people don't, they're really sharp. And I've asked many people on the street, what's your greatest fear? And the answer I get back most of the time is getting
Starting point is 00:48:51 comfortable being homeless. Because somebody feeds you. If you can scrape up three or six bucks, you can get in a bed and you have nobody telling you what to do. And no responsibility. And so you get used to that lifestyle, and once you get used to that lifestyle, you just give into it. It's hard. It's like an addiction. I mean, it's hard to, it's like anything else.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Once you become comfortable with something, it's hard to break free. But we spent seven, we spent the first seven years. Well, hold on. Yeah, yeah. We gotta the first seven years. Well, hold on. Yeah, yeah. We got to... Okay, sorry. We're ahead of ourselves, but great conversation, interesting perspectives, but let's go back.
Starting point is 00:49:36 So you get another copy of the books and you're reading the books and you're thinking something's got to change, your words, I think. So what does that change look like? Well, we didn't know. We immediately dove into a...our church happened to be going through a 21-day fast, and so we decided that during this fast that we would literally fast. And so we did a real fast and we prayed and we talked even amongst one another, let's don't share what we're hearing until it's over because I don't wanna hear from you, I wanna hear from God, I don't want you to hear from me,
Starting point is 00:50:18 I want you to hear from God. We didn't wanna influence one another. At the end of that 21 days, I had heard clearly one word that just rang over and over and over in my spirit, and it was the word unencumbered. Now that's not a word I use regularly. It's not in my regular vocabulary. I don't use it anytime. As a matter of fact, I don't know that I've ever used that word in a conversation other
Starting point is 00:50:43 than when I described what I heard. Kelly had just a sense that she was standing on the edge of a cliff. It was time to jump. No safety net. And so we put those two things together and we were like, okay, what's our safety net? And if God were to say, go to Ethiopia tomorrow, what would be keeping me from answering that call? And so we looked at our lifestyle and we thought, you know, the anchor, you know, a dental practice requires years to build. It's not something you walk away from and just start. It's not like you're buying a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Starting point is 00:51:20 I can sell this one and buy one in Nashville. Not that it's that easy. So sorry, Sean Toohey. But it's just one of those things that requires a lot of time and a lot of relationships. It requires years to build. It's not one of those things you walk away from either. But it was the one thing that I couldn't walk away from. My whole life was tied to it. My finances were tied to it. My kid's college education was tied to it. My own social level
Starting point is 00:51:57 was tied to it. My ego was tied to it. And so, expectations of a lifestyle was tied to it. And so expectations of a lifestyle was tied to it. And so we didn't know what. We just knew that, you know, hey, this might be the thing, this might be the safety net for you and it might be the thing that's holding me back. So I was like Abraham, right? Just let's go. I wish I could say that. I was more like Gideon. I was kind of hiding and I was throwing out fleece tests. Okay, God, I'm not sure this is really what you
Starting point is 00:52:33 want, so show me. I'm going to give you this test. We just sat down, wrote down a number, and said, okay, if I'm going to get the kids through college, that was my one financial goal when I started dental school. I just want to be able to pay for my kids to go to college without borrowing money. If I could get the kids through college, this is the number that I would have to sell the practice for. And I was like, there's no way it'll be worth this. So I had three different companies come and do an evaluation on what I could sell my dental practice for. All of them were within a $10,000 range. All of them were at least $10,000 more than the number I wrote down. Fleece test number one. Fleece test number two was how quickly
Starting point is 00:53:19 can I sell it? It takes a while to sell a business. Yes. Yeah. So they told me normally it takes about two years to sell a business your size. Don't get in a hurry. You need to keep making this much, producing this much income so that it is worth, because the value of the practice is worth how much you're producing. I was okay with that, but this was the fall of 2008. The banks have just now stopped lending
Starting point is 00:53:48 money to anybody because the whole system was crashing. They said it would probably be at least three years because again, when you're buying a dental practice, you're buying goodwill more than equipment. You're buying most of the cost of the practice is goodwill. And that's not, the bank can't take that money back. So they're not gonna loan anybody that money. And I was like, okay, three years, we're good. My oldest will be out of college, my second one will be out of college,
Starting point is 00:54:17 my third one will be a senior. By that time, my fourth one will have started college. We'll save some money, we'll get out of debt, we'll figure it out, we'll save some money, we'll get out of debt, we'll figure it out. We'll make plans. And three weeks later, I got a call. Hey, we've got somebody that wants to buy your practice. Three weeks.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Three weeks. Three weeks. I was almost hyperventilating. I think all of a sudden I was just like, what have we done? What are we going to do? Hyperventilating out of excitement or fear? Of fear. Total fear.
Starting point is 00:54:47 I guess so. I just like, what have we done? We thought we had two or three years, you know. Because we, you know, I figured in two or three years, I will have figured out what I'm going to do next. We had no plans, zero, no clue what we were going to do next. So it was, it was crazy. And ironically, we were in Chicago at a parent's weekend with our son.
Starting point is 00:55:11 And when we got the phone call. Yeah, and she literally, I think she did start hyperventilating. She sat down on the couch, I mean on the bed, the hotel room, just like, what are we going to do? Well, it has to be because it's more than selling a business. It's selling a lifestyle. It's selling a lifestyle. That's exactly right. So we've got friends in town. You may know them. I won't call them by name because I don't know that I got permission to do so, but they had sold everything and taken their family and done mercy ships for a year. And they were friends of ours. We had done
Starting point is 00:55:46 Bible study at their house for years. And so I thought, hey, you know, maybe that's what we could do. So I looked into Mercy Ships. The community in Inglewood on the south side of Chicago had a hospital, an indigent care hospital, but they didn't have a dental clinic. So we thought about that. And so I talked, actually we went up there and looked at it, talked to the head of the hospital there and about what would it take to put a dental clinic here in Englewood. So we were exploring like, okay, God, what do you got? I just, I want to do what you want to do, but sometimes, you know, he doesn't necessarily, he just points an arrow. He doesn't necessarily give you a destination. And so, um, so we were, we were kind of scrambling and I guess about,
Starting point is 00:56:35 well, eight weeks or so after closed on the practice and was no longer working there, I'm driving her nuts. closed on the practice and was no longer working there. I'm driving her nuts at the house. I mean, I am literally- That is a real lifestyle change. She did. She was like, you got to find a job. You got to figure something out. And this was back when we'd gone from floppy disk to hard drives. And I literally went and bought a CD-ROM on how to write a resume. I had never written a resume. It's the end of some business. Literally. I had 25 years of running my own business. I didn't know how to write.
Starting point is 00:57:11 I didn't... And I had no idea who I was going to send it to. It was crazy. It was a pretty crazy season. And what did you do? Well, we were actually at... Wait, wait, let me preface this. The only thing I told God I would not do is work for a church. Really? Absolutely not. I'd been an elder and a deacon. I was like, I know what goes on once you get on the other side of the ministry.
Starting point is 00:57:39 I don't want to have to deal with all that. Got it. So, we had some friends from our church, we were attending a large local church in Memphis at the time. And we had some friends over, just bring your kids, let them jump in the pool, we'll grill out, just visit. And realize, or you don't realize this, but let me back up. We had only been at this church about less than a year, so we were still getting to know people. We were, you know, kind of dipping our toes in to serve some on the weekends, whatever. And so, but
Starting point is 00:58:18 this family came over and as we're sitting around the dinner table, he was like, so what's new with you guys? Because we didn't have relationships in the church where we were going and telling people. Now, we had prayer partners, family, other people that had been praying with us. That told us that we were nuts. Yeah, we did have one tell us we're crazy. Well, they're right.
Starting point is 00:58:39 They're right. So, and it was. It was kind of like you say, we've done this. We've told her, what are you going to do? Well, we don't know, we're waiting on God. And I mean, people kind of look at you like you're crazy. So we had this couple over, he was like, hey, what's new with you guys?
Starting point is 00:58:57 And I looked at Joe and thought, are you going to tell him? Because we haven't really told him, we haven't said a lot. Well, Joe told him, well, we actually sold the dental practice about six weeks or so ago and we don't know what we're going to do. That was that. We went on, had a great evening. A couple of days later, we were actually at our church and we're walking through the auditorium and the lead pastor comes walking through and he said, hey guys, Dan kind of told me a little bit about what's going on with you. I'd love to hear more. Are you guys free this week? I'd love to. So we ended up going in, talking with them.
Starting point is 00:59:34 And by the end of that conversation, they're like, we'd like to invite you to join our staff and lead our outreach into the community. We really feel like we're supposed to be doing this. We haven't had anyone to do this. And so we get, um, and I was kind of like, can we pray about it? Cause I knew what he had said about Georgia, but we get in the car, long story short, we decided to do that. Um, started out with literally went and traded one of our vehicles, bought a truck because
Starting point is 01:00:07 for some reason we thought to do community outreach we needed a pickup truck. And we did. And we used it. And we started with literally going to Panera one day a week, taking everything they had left over from the day because they bake their bread fresh every day and give it away at the end of the day. Shout out Panera. And buying some bottles of water and start going down to Morris Park in downtown Memphis,
Starting point is 01:00:30 where you knew a lot of the in-house would gather. And let me back up, sorry, we did do that. But before that, we went down to one of our large missions, one of our shelters. One day during lunch, they let us come in and I just started walking around to the tables meeting the men there and saying hey if we wanted to do something for you what is something you need because we didn't want to reinvent the wheel we wouldn't didn't want to do what everybody else is doing there there's no reason to do that and they said we have to be out of the shelter I think at at that time, it was like at 5
Starting point is 01:01:05 a.m. and we never get breakfast. Like people, we always have lunch, we always have dinner, we never have breakfast. So we decided we'll do breakfast then. We'll go down once a week. And so we started, we would sit in our kitchen on Wednesday evenings after we pick up Ben's Panera and the two of us and our then high school son and our now daughter-in-law who was dating our son that was in mission year at the time, we would bag it all up, get up the next morning, drive to Morris Park, the four of us. Started inviting people to come with us that anyway. That was really how we began. And it wasn't. It cost us nothing but our time. Then we started cooking a hot breakfast. We'd get up at 4 a.m. and had some ladies that wanted to cook and turned into that.
Starting point is 01:01:56 We began building relationships. One thing we would do and we would tell volunteers or anyone that came with us, we are not serving a meal, we are sharing a meal. And so we would sit and eat with... Volunteers, they could plate three plates of food, but then they had to make one for themselves and go sit with the three guys that they had just served. Or women or whoever it was. And so we just began doing that
Starting point is 01:02:19 and began really building relationships. And I think for us, one of the winds was a few months in, three months in maybe. It was pouring down rain one Thursday morning. I mean, it was pouring down rain. And so we're like, we really thought, should we go? Should we not? Is anybody even going to be there? And we thought, you know, we're going to go. We said we were going to be there, so we're going to go. And we went, and there were a few men huddled under the awning of a little store down there. And one of them came running out to the truck and he said, they said you wouldn't show up. And I told them you'd be here.
Starting point is 01:02:54 I told them you'd be here. And for us, for one thing, that was a lesson for us that when we say we're going to do something, we need to do it, you know. And for us, that was a big deal because so many times in the world of poverty, we can tend to make promises and not keep them. And that further traumatizes the ones where we think we want to help, and yet we just add to the disappointment
Starting point is 01:03:21 and the frustration or the discouragement. We see it in the nonprofit world. Somebody will help for two years in one area and then they'll stop. And again, you're creating, you're helping reinforce the mindset of people don't really care about us. They're just, we'll just take whatever you've got to give and we'll run with it because you really don't care about us. Well, and I remember someone saying to us early on, one of the men who were in the streets,
Starting point is 01:03:52 and he said, you know, he said, thank you for coming every week because he said, everybody wants to come at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but they forget there are 363 other days of the year. I'm not going to evoke the turkey person story now because our listeners have probably all heard it. Do you know the turkey person story? Oh, no, but I mean, I've heard a lot. Listen, we've got outreach friends all over the country and they run into the same problem.
Starting point is 01:04:22 One person will go and get eight turkeys and then sell them to his neighbors or whatever the cash may be. The story was on a billboard last Thanksgiving in Times Square. No, I don't know that story. After this, look it up. Okay. For those of you listening. Do a 60 second version of it. I want to hear it now. I want to hear it.
Starting point is 01:04:46 I just don't want to waste time with listeners that have heard it 20 times. All right. Those of you who've heard it, just bear with us for one minute and 30 seconds. We need to hear it. My first year at Manassas, we were three and three. I inherited a team that won four games in 10 years. There were four in 95. So my first year three and three. I think three and three is pretty average. But when you've won four games in 10 years, the kids were kind of into three and three. Yeah. Raise money for new equipment. And we're winning ball games and, you know, doing a lot of work
Starting point is 01:05:22 with the kids. And so they were buying in. So every kid, well yes sir, no sir, all into the football. It was clear when we first got to Manassas there were other things we had to coach and teach. Character, perseverance, the dignity of hard work, the value of being on time, basic fundamentals and tenets. So we started coaching those too. Now the whole team was buying into football, but one half the team was buying into that important stuff. The other half the team,
Starting point is 01:05:50 although yes or no sir on the football field, the minute football was over, they were back in the streets engaging the same behavior that got them metaphorically to $4.95 in life. So it frustrated me. So I went to my guy, every coach has a guy, said, Hey man, what do I got to do to get that half the team to buy into the important stuff like you're at the team? I appreciate everybody's yes or no certain buying the football, but this is more than just football. This is about life and some things that will serve you long after the days of playing football are over. And I want the whole team to buy in important stuff and everybody's buying in football but only half of you buying
Starting point is 01:06:26 important stuff what do I got to do to get those guys to buy in and he looked at me and this is a guy we had a lot of real conversations but on this when he looked at me and you have kids so you know the dismissive tone I just keep doing what you're doing coach and I'm'm like, no man, real talk. He said, coach, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I said, you're not gonna hurt my feelings. Why can't I get hat half team to buy in like you're half team? He said, coach, they're trying to figure out
Starting point is 01:06:53 if you're a turkey person or not. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, coach, every Thanksgiving and Christmas, people roll into my neighborhood and they give us ham and gifts and turkeys and we take them because we ain't got none but then they leave and we never see them again makes you wonder if they're doing that because they really care about us or they're doing that to make themselves feel good absolutely and then he looked
Starting point is 01:07:15 me dead nice and he said really coach what the hell are you doing down here man wow so when you talk about the things that you're talking about, understand, identify. Yeah, absolutely. Understand that on this show for the last 18 months, we have gone as far as putting a billboard in Times Square that says, don't be a turkey person. I love it.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I have been on... I was on the Kelly Clarkson show telling the story last Thanksgiving. Wow. So I get it. I completely get what you're saying. Because actually I think it can be more detrimental to show up and leave
Starting point is 01:08:02 than to not ever show up in the first place. And again, if you haven't experienced it at the depth of a relationship, you haven't experienced it enough to know the difference. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Kelly and Joe Carson. And you do not want to miss part two. This now available listen to, is they're about to dive into their extraordinary nonprofit, the Memphis Dream Center.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Together guys, we can change this country, but it starts with you. I'll see you in part two. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the home stretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Estet Herndon. But we're also gonna have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee
Starting point is 01:09:11 and Charlemagne the God. We're gonna take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?
Starting point is 01:09:40 Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. Nimmini here. I'm the host of a brand-new history podcast Hey, y'all, Nimmini here.
Starting point is 01:10:05 I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip hop. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The impact of a meal goes well beyond feeding our bodies because feeling full can sound like this.
Starting point is 01:10:39 How did the interview go? I did it! I got the job! I can't believe it! And like this. Mom! I got first place at the science fair with my volcano project! That's amazing, sweetie. Congratulations! Because when people are fed, futures are nourished, and everyone deserves to live a full life. Join the movement to end hunger at feedingamerica.org slash act now. Brought to you by Feeding America and the Ad Council.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, 1974. George Foreman was champion of the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. Story behind the Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the story. There's also James Brown, Bill Withers, BB King, Miriam Makeba. All the biggest black artists on the planet. Together in Africa.
Starting point is 01:11:24 It was a big deal. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and the Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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