An Army of Normal Folks - Marry Your Best Friend, Don't Be Boring, Stay Faithful

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

For Shop Talk, Coach Bill shares his 3 keys to a successful marriage! Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Everybody, it's Bill Courtney. Welcome to Shop Talk. Happy New Year, Alex. Happy New Year. Well, we're not the New Year. Well, it will be the New Year. Yeah. See, that's how I asked.

How was your Christmas? It was great. Got to be with family in Chicago and New York. Oh, you went to Manhattan? Yeah. Hopefully I got enough miles. I don't have to pay for anything. Did you take all four of them?

No, I didn't have them this Christmas. Oh, who'd you go to New York with? With my parents and then my younger siblings. That's awesome. What'd you do? Did you go to the Rockettes or anything? I honestly worked the whole trip, and I pretty much just had dinner with family. Yeah.

Though I did, you being a tennis guy, we did play a lot of paddle tennis with my brother. Have you ever done that? No. It's actually really cool. Paddle tennis? One of the clubs here must have it. Is it like a small court? Like it really, have you seen it looks like a cage.

It's like pickleball? Yeah, like pickleball, but you're in a cage. Really? Yeah, it's really cool. So it's cage match tennis? Yeah, yeah. It's like heated four so you can play any time of year. That's awesome.

Yeah. I'm glad you got Spencer. How's your little brother? I didn't see him, sadly. He's at all kinds of house issues that he had to stay home in Amelia. Isn't he getting close to college? Oh, yeah. So that one, Dominic, yeah.

Yeah, he actually just got in Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Yeah. Smart cookie. It's like school number 19 on the list. Yeah, when I met him, he was obviously a bright kid. Yeah. Yeah, I know your parents are proud.

You're proud. That's cool. Well, we didn't do anything to deserve it. God gave us that. We can't look too highly on ourselves. It is what it is. So shop talk, everybody, number 84, is about why I have a great marriage, which is interesting because Alex wanted me to talk about it.

And he said he has a funny lead into this about why I have a great marriage, but he won't tell me why so i'm going to hear it with you for the first time right now actually first famous number 84's oh okay who do you have any guesses uh it's actually a couple of good ones here 84 no but you're going to say one i'm going to know randy moss oh gosh how'd i miss randy moss and shan sharp should have done shan sharp sharp shan sharp was one of my favorite players he was he was a beast yeah so all right so when we were in new york It was my parents' anniversary. Oh, cool.

So was there on December 27th? My son, at least since the mom, was December 17th. Oh, really? So, not far off. Yeah. So it was their 39th anniversary. And so we're actually taking the train from the city to Long Island in my brother's house. And my sister brings up a card for their anniversary right in front of them for us to sign.

And my sister writes a really beautiful message. And then she hands me the card. I'm like, oh, shit. You wrote some? You just wrote it in front of it and then handed it on the day of the anniversary. Oh, nice. Nice planning. Yeah.

So my sister wrote this really beautiful message. I'm like, oh, man, I'm going to have to write something meaningful too. I was just going to sign my name. And so, I'm like, all right, being the smartest that I am, here's what I wrote. Right. I want what you have. No luck so far, Alex. How nice.

And what about congratulations or anything else? You kind of made the anniversary about... And when would you have no luck so far? See you. Out. So then we handed it to my parents on the train and they were dying laughing. It's so funny. Well.

And then I was thinking about shop talk ideas and I'm like, oh, this could be a good lead into Bill about why his marriage works. And maybe I can learn from Bill. Yeah. Well, we'll talk about why I think marriages work right. after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Hi, Kyle. Could you draw up a quick document with the basic business plan? Just one page as a Google Doc and send me the link.

Thanks. Hey, just finished drawing up that quick one-page business plan for you. Here's the link. But there was no link. There was no business plan. It's not his fault. I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet. My name is Evan Ratliff. I decided to create Kyle, my AI co-founder, after hearing a lot of stuff like this from OpenAI CEO Sam Aldman.

There's this betting pool for the first year that there's a one-person billion dollar company, which would have been like unimaginable without AI and now will happen. I got to thinking, could I be that one person? I'd made AI agents before for my award-winning podcast, Shell Game. This season on Shell Game, I'm trying to build a real company with a real product run by fake people. Oh, hey, Evan. Good to have you join us. I found some really interesting data on adoption rates for AI agents and small to medium businesses. Listen to Shell Game on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Malcolm Gladwell here. This season on Revisionous History, we're going back to the spring of 1988 to a town in northwest Alabama, where a man committed a crime that would spiral out of control. 35 years. That's how long.

Elizabeth's and its family waited for justice to occur 35 long years. I want to figure out why this case went on for as long as it did, why it took so many bizarre and unsettling turns along the way, and why, despite our best efforts

to resolve suffering, we all too often make suffering worse. He would say to himself, turn to the right, to the victim's family, and apologize, turn to the left, tell my family I love him. So he would have this little practice, to the right. I'm sorry.

To the left. I love you. From Revisionous History, this is The Alabama Murders. Listen to Revision's History, The Alabama Murders on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Like, if we're on the air here, and I literally have my contract here, and I'm looking at, you know, as soon as I sign this,

I'm going to get a seven-figure check. I've told them I won't be working here in two weeks. From the underground clubs that shaped global music to the pastors and creators who built the cultural Empire. The Atlanta Ears podcast uncovers the stories behind one of the most influential cities in the world. The thing I love about Atlanta is that it's a city of hustlers, man. Each episode explores a different chapter of Atlanta's rise, featuring conversations with ludicrous, Will Packer, Pastor Jamal Bryant, DJ Drama, and more. The full series is available to listen to

now. I really just had never experienced anything like what was going on in the city as far as like, you know, seeing so many young, black, affluent, creatives in all walks of life. The church had dwindled almost to nothing. And God said, this is your assignment. And that's like how you know, like, okay, oh, you're from Atlanta for real. I ain't got to say too much. I'm a greatie, baby. Shut up.

Listen to where Atlanta is on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Greatness doesn't just show up. It's built. One shot, one choice, one moment at a time. From NBA champion Stefan Curry comes Shot Ready, a powerful never-before-seen look at the mindset that changed the game. I fell in love with the grind. You have to find joy in the work you do when no one else is around.

Success is not an accident. I'm passing the ball to you. Let's go. Steph Curry redefined basketball. Now he's rewriting what it means to succeed. Shot Ready isn't just a memoir. It's a playbook for anyone chasing their potential. Discover stories, strategies, and overwork.

100 never-before-seen photos. Order shot-ready. Now at stephen-currie book.com. Don't miss Stefan Curry's New York Times bestseller, shot ready, available now. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation

about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye-rolling from teachers, or I get students who would be like, It's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome

as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say, like, go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just, like, walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier.

Denials is easier. drinking is easier, yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, welcome back to Shop Talk 84. We're talking about how miserable Malick says because he doesn't have a good marriage. I don't have one. He don't have a marriage at all.

But he wants one. He told his parents so on their 39th anniversary. Why do I have a great marriage? Or more importantly, maybe more topical is why do I think marriage is work? It's funny because we have two kids married, one getting married in February, and then Max our fourth. he's feral. I'm not sure if he will get married. He's a nutcase. He wants to be married. He'll be married. He's great, but he just hadn't found that person yet. But because of that, we've been talking with our kids a lot over the last few years about marriage. And it's actually

required Lisa and I to reflect a lot on our own marriage about what has and has not worked. And let me be first to talk about what I did that didn't work. And Lisa and I got married when we were young. She was 22 and I was 24. And we had a kid not 14 months later. And then we had three more kids each of the next three years. So we jumped in with both feet. And that created a lot of chaos and a lot of stress,

especially when I was making $17,000 a year. and we couldn't afford diapers half the time and many times bought formula while Lisa and I ate beanie weenies. But at the end of the day, Lisa's been my best buddy. She's my best friend. I actually still, to this day,

can't wait to get home from work and hang out with her and chat. And she has an unbelievable, Sassy sense of humor, but I enjoy it and why do I have a great marriage is I think I have a great marriage because very unwittingly and without much planning and having no idea because I was so stupid and young at the time I was very fortunate to have been awarded the opportunity to marry my best buddy. I'm married my best buddy. I'm married my best friend um and you know when you marry somebody that you're infatuated with and you marry somebody that's beautiful or you marry somebody that that that checks boxes those things are great but those things don't make it through trauma those things don't make it through heartache those

Things don't make it through very difficult financial situations. But when you marry your best friend, when you marry somebody who is just the person you want to spend the most, I mean, your best friend, you want to be around all the time, your best friend you want to spend your time with, your best friend, you want to share all your excitements with, your best friend is so you unload your depths of desperation on to talk. with about, well, when that person happens to be your spouse, you seem to be able to get past so much of the junk that breaks relationships up. If you marry your best friend first and foremost, a lot of boxes that you seem to want to check don't necessarily have to be checked for things to work. Second thing is, and this may fall on some deaf ears to some of our audience but i do believe it to be true because my faith is rooted in grace honestly there if not for forgiveness and grace and the salvation of being forgiven there really is no point

in having christianity around and the whole idea behind christianity is christianity is christian absolving us of our sins as a result of his sacrifice. So, I mean, that's what the faith is about. So if you're a Christian and you always keep that faith at the center of your marriage, then when you inevitably do something that we will all do to our spouse that is hurtful or stupid or painful to them, or your spouse does something that is hurtful or painful or stupid to you, If faith remains the center of your marriage, and because that faith is rooted in grace and forgiveness and reconciliation, then you are more able in your relationship to extend, both extend and receive grace, depending on if you're the offender or the offende, because in any marriage there are offenders and offendees. throughout the relationship.

So if you marry your best friend and you're rooted in faith, you always have your best friend to talk to, you always have your best friend to lean on, you always have your best friend to share triumph with, you always have your best friend to help shield you from tragedy. And then when you wrong that best friend and faith is the center of it, you always are able to be graceful and redemptive with that best friend in order to sustain your marriage through both tough times and your own missteps.

The third thing I would say about why it's important to have a great marriage or how it is able to have a great marriage is you've got to keep things fresh. Nothing that goes on for 20, 30, 40, or 50 years. Nothing that withstands decades of time. won't get monotonous if you do it the same way every day over and over and over again. And breaking monotony takes work. You have to explore new things. You have to explore new hobbies.

You have to go new places. You have to do different things. Play different games. Change up the way you do holidays. Change up the approach to send, spirituality. You have to do fresh things. You have to be creative. And I would say you need to do that both individually and as a couple. In other words, maybe the things you do as a couple are you try new restaurants or you go do new things or you pick up new hobbies. But individually, you also need to do fresh things. If you always buy chocolates and red roses on Valentine's Day, switch it up. do something different. Don't be monotonous. Don't be predictable with everything other than your commitment to faith being the center of your relationship and your spouse being your best friend

and fidelity with everything other than those three, I would say be creative, change things up, be spontaneous, work to keep excitement in your relationship and the things that you do, the things you engage in, your hobbies, and how you approach each other in your sensuality. I think it's really important because if you stay fresh and your best friends, you get to enjoy these new experiences together. And I think that leads to a healthy relationship. So, why do I think I think? have a great marriage and what do I think are the recipes to a great marriage, marry your best friend,

have faith at the center of your marriage, and work very hard to be creative and spontaneous and break monotony so that in 50 years you are still as attracted to and excited to be around your spouse as you were the day you married them. And I can say for me and Lisa after 35 years, that is the case and that has been our recipe that was super well done for no prep time you just did that off the cuff well it's that one was easy because all of that is really really really true that is that is our life together and it doesn't hurt that also think leases smoke show and very hot because she is and i can't wait to see her every day i come home and i do think she's the most beautiful person on face of the planet, but that's icing on the cake.

I got lucky on that one, especially being a fat, red-headed guy. I think Molly and Maggie are going to have no trouble with being creative either. They both seem super creative. All our kids. All our kids are spontaneous and creative and ADD as well, and as long as they remain faithful and focused on their spouse and marry their best friend, I think that they will have no problem with the spontaneity, creativity, and having fun because they're all like their mom.

so there it is that shop talk number 84 kind of an interesting one that you came up with for me to talk about and since you just threw it on me I actually had a fun time talking about it so that's it everybody listen if you enjoyed this episode please share with friends and on social join the podcast subscribe to the podcast join the army of normal folks dot us that's up rate it review it and um if you have any ideas for shop talk or for guests on an army of normal folks you can write me anytime

at Bill at normalfokes.us. Don't be a stranger. Please email me. I will respond. Alex will respond. And until next time, do what you can. We'll see you next week. just one page as a Google Doc, and send me the link. Thanks. Hey, just finished drawing up that quick one-page business plan for you. Here's the link. But there was no link. There was no business plan. I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet. I'm Evan Ratliff here with a story of entrepreneurship in the AI age.

Listen as I attempt to build a real startup run by fake people. Check out the second season of my podcast, Shell Game, on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. greatness doesn't just show up it's built one shot one choice one moment at a time from NBA champion stephen curry comes shot ready a powerful never before seen look at the mindset that changed the game i fell in love with the grind you have to find joy in the work you do when no one else is around success is not an accident I'm passing the ball to you let's go step curry redefined basketball now he's rewriting what it means to succeed. Shot Ready isn't just a memoir. It's a playbook for anyone chasing their potential. Discover stories, strategies, and over 100 never-before-seen photos. Order shot ready now at stephen Curry book.com. Don't miss Stephen Curry's New York Times bestseller, Shot Ready, available now.

Malcolm Gladwell here. This season on Revisionous History, we're going back to the spring of 1988 to a town in northwest Alabama. Where a man committed a crime that would spiral out of control. And he said, I've been in prison 24, 25 years. That's probably not long enough. And I didn't kill them. From Revisionous History, this is The Alabama Murders. Listen to Revisionous History, The Alabama Murders on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I didn't really have an interest of being on air. I kind of was up there to just try and infiltrate the building. From the underground clubs that shaped global music to the pastors and creatives who built a cultural empire. The Atlanta Ears podcast uncovers the stories behind one of the most influential cities in the world. The thing I love about Atlanta is that it's a city of hustlers, man.

Each episode explores a different chapter of Atlanta's rise, featuring conversations with ludicrous, Will Packer, Pastor Jamal Bryant, DJ Drama, and more. The full series is available to listen to now. Listen to Atlanta is on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did Johnny. The kids didn't come home last night. Along the central Texas planes, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense, strange accidents, and brutal murders. In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of breaking bad.

Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people. There are people out there that absolutely know what happened. Listen to Paper Ghosts, the Texas Teen Murders, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.