An Army of Normal Folks - Monica Kelsey: I’m Blessed To Have Been Abandoned (Pt 1)

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

After having been abandoned as a baby, Monica Kelsey has gone on to help save the lives of 227 babies! Her nonprofit Safe Haven Baby Boxes offers a compassionate and secure option for mothers in crisis who are unable to care for their newborns.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every three days in America, a baby is left somewhere. Say that again. Every three days in America, a baby is being left somewhere. What does left mean? In a dumpster, in a trash can, alongside a highway, in a shoe box under a bed. That's left. These babies are meant to die. And so knowing that, I started talking to this legislator

and saying, if we could save one of those three. Every three days, in this country. In the United States of America. A baby is tossed out. Yep. And we're not talking about left at a police station or a fire state right now or not. We're not talking about that.

We're talking about thrown away. Dumped. Yeah. That is horrifying. Yeah. Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband. I'm a father. I'm an entrepreneur. And I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis. Somehow that last part led to an Oscar for the film about our team. That movie is called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems are never gonna be solved by a bunch of fancy people

in nice suits using big words that nobody ever uses on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks. That's us. Just you and me deciding, hey, you know what? I can help. That's what Monica Kelsey, the voice you just heard, has done. She's fighting to solve the scourge of abandoned babies in America.

Candidly, something that I was shocked happens as much as it does. Her nonprofit, Safe Haven Baby Boxes, has helped to save hundreds of babies so far. I cannot wait for you to meet Monica right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. our generous sponsors. Don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. Something about Mary Poppins? Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh, man. This is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs, and I am an author and a journalist, and I tend to get obsessed with stuff.

And my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, that's good. Now you can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. I thought to myself, I bet I know what this is. And now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird. This is fun. Let's try this one. Now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird.

This is fun. Let's try this one. Our brand new season features special guests like Chuck Bryant, Mayim Bialik, Julie Bowen, Sam Sanders, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and lots more. Listen to The Puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's awful. And I should have seen it coming.

What if you ask two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast Mini Questions. Over the years we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davies and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a

new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. 7 questions, limitless answers. Center in Austin, Texas. Don't miss your chance to see country music's biggest superstars. Brooks and Dodd, Thomas Rhett, Rascal Flatts, Coles Wendell, Sam Hunt, Megan Moroney, Bailey Zimmerman, and Nate Smith. All on one stage hosted by Bobby Bones. I Heart Country Festival

streaming live only on Hulu and you can be there in person. Tickets are on sale now. Don't miss out. Get yours before they sell out at Ticketmaster.com. That's Ticketmaster.com. And we'll see you at our 2025 I Heart Country Festival presented by Capital One.

Thank y'all so much y'all. Monica Kelsey, welcome to Memphis. Thank you. How'd you get here? You drove, you walked a dog. What were you telling me? Well, I have been walking my dog actually. She wants out at 3 a.m. you know, and walked a dog. What were you telling me? Well, I have been walking my dog actually. She wants out at 3 a.m.

You know, and five and six. But we travel in a motor home. And my husband and I are those people now. You know, the 50 year olds that have the motor home, the tow behind vehicle and the dog. That's us, yeah, that's us. That's how we got here. So we stayed at the KOA last night.

And Woodburn, right? Woodburn, Indiana. That's where we're from, yeah. That's where. That's how we got here. So we stayed at the KOA last night. And Woodburn, right? Woodburn, Indiana? That's where we're from, yeah. That's where my husband's the mayor of our city. Of Woodburn. Of Woodburn. Now, when I think of Indiana, I think of Indianapolis as the hub.

Where's Woodburn from the hub? So Fort Wayne. So if you go up to Fort Wayne, and then go east. So we're literally on the Ohio line. I got it. Yeah. I got it. About two hours from Indy. Do you ever go to Indy? Quite a bit. Yeah. St. Elmo's? You know what? I think I've ate there once. It is good. I'm a Ruth Chris Kanaka or Kanaka. You know it's a... But who would have ever thought in

Indiana of all places they would have the best shrimp cocktail in the United States but they do at St. Elmo's. Alex you need to call St. Elmo's. Maybe we can get a... The second time you've talked about them on the podcast. It's because it is fantastic. It's a great state, but the shrimp cocktail at St. Elmo's is a must do. So in Indiana, I mean, how close is the closest live shrimp to Indianapolis? It's got to be a thousand miles away, but it's good. I would say. It's good stuff. So for

they keep them chilled over ice and the cocktail sauce is amazing. So I guess anytime we have a guest from Indiana everybody's gonna have to suffer the St. Elmo's talk. Well thank you. Welcome to Memphis. When'd you get in last night? Last night. Yeah. Nice little drive down here. About eight and a half hours. Well eight eight and a half hours by car, you know. What's that take in a moving house? We took us about ten hours. Yeah, that's not too bad. Not too bad. How can you be a mayor of a city when you're on the road all the time? What's up with your husband? Well, don't ask all the people in our city that question because you might raise some flags, but he's actually a part-time mayor.

So he travels with me. He doesn't travel with me all the time. I actually have an assistant that travels with me the majority of the time, but if I take the motor home out, I take in my assistant, there ain't no flipping way. I'm letting her drive that thing. And I'm sure she's going to be listening to this when this comes out. So she's going to be sitting there going, yep, that's exactly right. I'm not driving it. I love it. Also with us today is Carrie Buck who's sitting behind you. Hi Carrie. Carrie is a huge fan of army and she's volunteered with Alex to help with stuff recently and Carrie, it's nice to meet you face to face. You want to say anything about Carrie over there, Alex?

She's booked two guests coming up, which is awesome She said she's a she's a PA. She's production assistant. That's what she is a volunteered Army production assistant someone else's suffer dealing with me. Yeah, how'd you find us Carrie? Well, tell me your story real quick. Oh You heard us on micro. Carrie is the quintessential army member. It's exactly what we're trying to build across the country. It's pretty cool. Amen.

Yeah. Well, Carrie, thank you for joining us. Did you find Monica? This Bernie did. I got it. I'm going to read that. But I didn't know if if all right, well, I'm still curious who Bernie. What's that? I'm curious who Barney is. Everybody's talking about Barney. You're gonna

have to find out because because I don't know. I am literally under living under a rock I think right now. But here's how we know you. Okay. A listener. Our listeners are called members of the army of normal folks as well as our producer and our videographer and everybody else. But anyway, Barney Burns, who you need to find, I do, because Barney Burns apparently thinks a lot of you. Barney Burns, so that you know, at the end of every show, we encourage guests to email us, we all leave our personal information, personal, and we get emails, Alex and

I get emails all the time from people suggesting folks like you and so from Barney Burns, please consider hosting Monica Kelsey of Woodburn Indiana on your show. She is the founder of safe haven baby boxes. The boxes are installed in fire stations and hospitals so that women can safely surrender their newborn babies anonymously. Kelty was abandoned at birth, and I enjoy listening to your show. Her story's amazing.

Aw, I do need to find him. Barney, call me. Yeah, Barney, I hope you're listening, and at the end of this, Monica's personal info will be there and you need to email her so she can, guess thank you. Yeah. Yeah well we kind of just blew the story up with Barney's introduction so let's go back before we get to baby boxes. He said you were abandoned I didn't read really that into it but you were adopted for sure. Why don't you just let's so we can understand

your passion and and what safe haven baby boxes is. I think it's important to know the why and I think the wise germane to the story. But it's also so deeply personal for you. It's very personal for me. And you know, for people to understand where the passion comes from, they really do need to go back to the beginning. So let's go. And so my my birth mom was 17 years old. She was brutally attacked and raped and left along the side of the road. And this was August of 1972, when abortion was illegal in our country, even in the cases

of rape and incest. And I'm not here to debate abortion with you. I'm just stating it wasn't available back then. And that's just the fact that we can we could do another four part 10 hour series on one sentence but we're not doing that. It's just a fact. It is it was not there. Not there. Yeah. And so she she pressed charges against this man and he was arrested and he was charged and then if that wasn't the worst of it, when she was finally getting life back to normal, she found out she was pregnant. And she was hidden for

the remainder of the pregnancy and then gave birth in April of 1973 and abandoned her child. Two hours after that child was born and that child was me. And in 1973, a 17 year old senior junior in high school pregnant was a pariah. Oh, it was, it was a problem for everyone. Even the family was looked at differently. And so my birth mom was actually hidden from the outside world. Um,

she was taken out of school. And interesting enough, I don't talk about this a whole lot. Um, because I don't want people to like, you know, go after my biological family, you know, because it's out there, you know, I've, I've met my biological mother I know who she is and I talk highly of her and I've put a lot of information I would anybody go after her. She was a victim of a brutal assault have you been on the internet listed and listen to any of the Opinions that are out there on the rape and incest exceptions and you know the abortion debate

It's just I just don't want that to get to that point And so but I talk about this part because it's, it's important to understand her tragedy and everything that was going on in her life. And so this was August of 72. Well in October of 72, her dad dies of a massive heart attack. And so you have the 17 year old girl that is just had the worst time of her life and now her dad dies And she's taken out. She was completely secluded taken away from everyone and

and forced to deal with this by herself and I don't want women to do that. I don't want women to be alone I want women to know that I have their back now, you know If there's ever a situation where someone needs help, they don't have to do it behind closed doors. And anonymously, I, I get the anonymous, you know, putting a baby in a box, but that's, that's not what's beyond the box. That's just the box. What happens beyond the box is the counseling, the medical care, you know,

me walking alongside these moms now. We're way ahead and we're going to get to all that. It's okay. It's great. There's so much depth in all of this, but I can't avoid this question. When I was reading about this, I was kind of bouncing back and forth whether or not I was going to even ask you, but after hearing you say it and look at me when you said it, I have to ask this. Your natural father, he's on one hand is your father, it's your DNA, which has to spur some type of connection, although he's also a rapist. Right. How do you deal with that? Well, not deal with it, but how does, how do you reconcile that?

Well how I reconciled it was probably not the way to go. I got to meet my biological mother when I was 37 years old. I actually found her by accident. And that became the best and the worst day of my life because I had no idea. The only thing that I was told growing up was that my birth parents were young and loving, couldn't care for me so they placed me for adoption.

That was the happy story to make you feel okay. That is exactly what people did back then to make me feel better and so that I didn't have to go through this traumatic event. Did your adoptive parents know the real story? No, they did not know. They were as shocked as I was. And so knowing that and thinking that these people loved me so much and they just placed

me for adoption because they couldn't care for me or they were young, I had this fairy tale family when growing up thinking I was going to meet these people one day and I wanted to wrap my arms around them, telling them how much I appreciate them, mom and birth dad, you know, and little did I know that that wasn't the case at all. You know, and so I got to meet her when I was 37 and I went to her house and this is in my book. I don't talk about it a whole lot because it's, it is kind of a, it makes my worth go down when I talk about it and I think that's just society and how children conceived out of rape and

incest and abandon at birth you know their their worth goes down and so you mean your own personal self-worth yeah yeah inside you had nothing to do with it no I didn't but society doesn't allow that to be you know it's it's the way that they make us feel. Going into a church, now I'm a Christian, I don't make any, I am first and foremost that. But I will go into a church and I'll speak and they'll say, well, I'm pro-life except in the cases of rape and incest.

And it literally just makes me cringe. Like because now they're making an exception for my life. They're saying that I'm not important, that I'm not worthy of what you got, which was your life, you know? And it's like, and I, and I talk about, I go back to, you know, the, the story of being conceived in rape and, and my birth mother, you know, not having the option of abortion. I can tell you definitively, if abortion was on the table in 1972, you and I would not be talking today.

We wouldn't be. And I've asked my biological mother that. And she said the reason why she didn't have an abortion at a back alley abortion clinic was because she felt she was doing something wrong. She was breaking the law and she was doing something wrong back then. But back then, that's how you solve this problem. That's what people thought was the problem, was to just get rid of it. And now a few messages from our gender sponsors.

But first, I hope you'll consider signing up to join the Army at normalfolks.us. By signing up, you'll receive a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you happen to miss an episode or if you prefer reading about our incredible guests. We'll be right back. The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at soundedouttogether.org.

That's soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Something about Mary Poppins? Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh, man. this is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs and I am an author and a journalist and I tend to get obsessed with stuff.

And my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Ha ha ha! Oh, that's good. Now, you can get your daily puzzle nuggets

delivered straight to your ears. I thought to myself, I bet I know what this is. And now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird. This is fun. Let's try this one. Our brand new season features special guests like Chuck Bryant, Mayim Bialik, Julie Bowen,

Sam Sanders, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and lots more. Listen to the Puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's awful, and I should have seen it coming. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea

in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis and former Prime Minister of the UK Tony Blair. And now Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new

connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. music's biggest superstars. Brooks and Dodd. Thomas Rhett. Rascal Fletz. Coles Wendell. Sam Hunt. Megan Moroney. Bailey Zimmerman. Nate Smith.

All on one stage, hosted by Bobby Bones. I Heart Country Festival, let's go! Streaming live only on Hulu. And you can be there in person. Tickets are on sale now. Don't miss out. What is up, Austin Texans? Get yours before they sell out at Ticketmaster.com.

That's Ticketmaster.com. And we'll see you at our 2025 I Heart Country Festival presented by Capital One. Yeah, y'all so much time. Oh, man. It's early in this interview. You need coffee. To be here.

No, it's not early in the day. It's early in the interview. And I don't know, I'm just gonna trust that you have lived this long enough to to stomach my question. But I myself, and until this very moment, this very moment, I don't think I even understood what I was saying. But I got to tell you, I have two daughters. And I've always said, you know, I really, I think all of us, whether you're Christian or agnostic or Jewish or Muslim or not, I think on a very human level, every human being struggles with the question of abortion.

On the one hand, you have what some people would say is a woman's right to choose and a woman's right to do what she wants with her body. Then on the other hand, you have the science that says that other body also has rights that happens to be inside the woman's body. Then you have the faith issues and all of it. So like you said, I really don't want to get into an abortion debate, but you just said something that just hammered me when you said it, because I've always said, you know, if one of my daughters was raped,

I don't know that I would put them through the trauma of having to have their rapist child. And even though I personally am repulsed, frankly, by the procedure itself, not people who do it, not the decision, just the procedure itself, I would probably drive my daughter and hold her hand if I had to in the case of rape That's been my mentality But if That mentality prevailed in my own daughter's life and my own daughter was your mother you wouldn't be alive today

You know and I get it I do I get it because when a woman is even my birth mom brutally attacked and raped She has to heal physically. She has to heal emotionally Mentally and spiritually there's no changing that but killing her child is not going to change that's not gonna make it any better if you've just basically impacted another life and Basically made them pay for the crime of their biological father. And so your grandchild would be gone. Your grandchild, her child, because I'm, I'm my birth mother's child. I'm not his.

I am the resistance and the, the, the, what's the word I want to say without making it sound horrible. It is what it is. It is. I'm the reflection of her and her strength. You know, my birth mother, she sunk into a depression. She drugs, alcohol. I mean, when I met her when I was 37, she wasn't cheap.

You could tell she had a rough life. Let's just say that she didn't look to be in her 50s. She looked to be in her 70s. Was she on the way to a rough life at 17? No, she came from a good family so that one event Changed literally completely deflected trajectory of not only your life, but hers Yeah, and you know that the day that I called her and this the part that is, I think the part that I appreciate the most after knowing her story is, you know, the day that I called her that I found her, you know, I was like, hey, do you know what?

April 19th, 1973, does that mean anything to you? And the first thing she said was, I've been waiting for your call. She had zero more children after me. Well, she had, just so people don't think I'm lying, she had a child that died at birth, but she never had any children after me that lived. And for her, I was that light.

I was that light in the darkness that every year on my birthday, she baked a cake. And it wasn't because of who my biological father was, it was because she was celebrating my life and my Even before she knew you even before she knew me every year on my birthday. She baked a cake. Nobody knew why She just did this because this was something that made that helped her heal and so oh my god But but but look at the look at the the the part surrounding it She couldn't change it You You can't un-rape someone. You can't

and you you you have to basically make the best out of a bad situation and there's no good that can come out of that if you kill this child. There's no good but allowing a child to be adopted and then helping your daughter heal. You've now saved her life and you've also saved the life of a child whose life was hanging in the balance by a criminal, literally a criminal that was defining their life. You know, when you said, I don't know if you said, the wording that you use, spawn of a rapist or I don't know exactly how you said it, but that's not me You know, my name is Monica Kelsey

You know I'm the founder of safe haven baby boxes my life has purpose from the day I was born because Christ gave it to me And now I'm able to live it out You know, I'm doing what he set out for me back in 1973 And if I would be gone if I was gone then if I would have been aborted back in 1972 Where would these 200 and some babies be today? If I would be gone, if I was gone then, if I would have been aborted back in 1972, where would these 200 and some babies be today? Christ is using me in Genesis 50-20,

and I don't know if we're allowed to talk about Bible here, but I'm gonna do it anyway. This is an open forum. Okay, so Genesis 50-20, you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. And as much as my worth has lowered

and I've had to pick myself up and show people that my life has value, that, and it's sad that I have to do that, that I have to say, you know what, my life does have value. I'm out there doing what Christ has told me to do. I shouldn't have to do that. I shouldn't have to justify my life. But I do because I understand.

I understand where people are coming from. You know, but we always have to go back to the beginning of she has to heal emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally whether we kill her child or not. And so let something good come out of something bad. And as a medic, I'm a medic and a firefighter, I think you probably read about that. I spoke with speaking in a church one time

and I said, just think about you being in a car accident. The driver was drunk. You had no reason to be injured. It was just a bad situation that happened. Not your fault. You can't go to the hospital and say, just cut my leg off. I know it's shattered in 15 places, but cut my leg off. I am not gonna stay in this brace for nine months.

There's no way, just cut it off. You don't have that choice. And I'm not trying to justify that. Well, you know, the abortion debate, but you have to heal is my point. You have to heal no matter what the situation is, whether you did it to yourself or you didn't do it to yourself. You have to heal. And once you heal, you can find peace in the decision that you've made. This is deep already. I mean, well, this is our show.

I'm not to talk to Bert was it Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, I'm gonna talk to him. So I still didn't get an answer to the earlier question, although there was about a thousand deep things and what you've said so far. But if you don't want to talk about it, tell me, quit asking. Let me tell you give you some perspective. My dad left home when I was four and he died about 18 months ago. And I didn't even know until I got a phone call. No relationship

there. I had four more stepfathers, one of which shot at me down a hallway one night. So while your story and my story are completely different, there is a similarity in that, different. There is a similarity in that and my father was adopted by the way was you know a lot of insecurity about who am I where do I come from and why you know so that's why I'm asking this question one more time. How do you deal with the fact that your father did you meet him did you want to meet him do you deal with the fact that your father, did you meet him? Did you want to meet him? Do you know? Did you know anything about him?

Did it matter to you? Was it part of the journey of finding out who you were? Yes. But and I guess I kind of did skip over that answer to that question because you know, when I met my biological mother, you know, I was sitting on her couch talking to her and and at that when you first met her you thought maybe Divorced her dad you still didn't know you had to have been hit in the face with that. I did not take it well So I was sitting on this couch, especially since you believed in a fairy tale leading up to this So it not only was not knowing, it was the antithesis

of what you thought. Right. Okay, go ahead. So I'm sitting on her couch with my husband by by my side and we had just drove up to Michigan to meet her and she was sitting on this chair, this recliner chair that didn't match the couch. And I tell you this because when you deal with situations that are traumatic, you remember things that really... Your senses are really heightened and always. They are. That is a physiological response to stress. Yeah. So I was sitting there and then the question came up, you know, who's my biological father? I want to meet him. You know, I... Because she still hadn't, at this point, had not told me anything.

You know, we were just getting to know each other. And so she got up and she went into this back room and she grabbed this blue folder that was like, you know, when you opened it up, it was like tattered and torn and it wasn't a new folder. You could tell it was very aged. And so she pulls out this police report from from 1972. And so having this and I'm I'm listening to her tell me this story, not registering that not only was she telling me her story, she was telling me mine. And so I didn't get it. I was like, just like totally taken back, like, thinking, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for you. I hate that this happened to you. sensory overload. And my husband's sitting there and he's just looking at me. He's like, are you okay? And I said, of course I'm okay.

Like, you don't believe her, do you? Like I was like, I was- You're kidding. Once it came and it hit me, I was like, wait a minute here, this is, she's just telling me this elaborate story because she doesn't wanna take responsibility for what happened or whatever.

And he looks at me and he's like, I do believe her. Did you, was you not listening? Like, are you okay? We'll be right back. Snakes, zombies, public speaking, the list of fears is endless. But the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. Distracted driving is what's really scary and even deadly.

Eyes forward, don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. Something about Mary Poppins? Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh man, this is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs and I am an author and a journalist and I tend to get obsessed with stuff. And my current obsession is puzzles.

And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, that's good. Now you can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. I thought to myself, I bet I know what this is.

And now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird. This is fun. Let's try this one. Our brand new season features special guests like Chuck Bryant, Mayim Bialik, Julie Bowen, Sam Sanders, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and lots more. Listen to The Puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

That's awful, and I should have seen it coming. What if you ask two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courteney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair.

And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to many questions on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers. Come on! Tickets are on sale now, y'all, for our 2025 iHeart Country Festival, endless answers. Rascal Flatts, Coles Wendell, Sam Hunt, Megan Moroney, Bailey Zimmerman, Nate Smith. All on one stage hosted by Bobby Bones. I Heart Country Festival, let's go! Streaming live only on Hulu and you can be there in person. Tickets are on sale now. Don't miss out

Get yours before they sell out at ticketmaster.com That's ticketmaster.com and we'll see you at our 2025. I heart country festival presented by Capital One And so for the next six months, I literally sunk into a depression. I dyed my hair black was wearing all black and gray clothes. I was pulling away from family and friends. I was trying why I don't understand. It goes back to the worth. It goes back to me trying to find myself. And can I say something to you?

Oh, man, and this comes from a place inside of me. Okay. I had comes from a place inside of me. Okay. I had a worth problem because after five fathers at 18, you know, I had good grades, I played six sports in high school, I was on the chess team. I mean, I really worked hard to do things the right way. And despite all I did, no man found me valuable enough to hang around in my life. And you start looking in the mirror and saying, what is it about me that's so broken

that nobody's willing to stay around and invest in me long-term? What I found out was, I was all right. Those people around me were very broken. And I finally had to reconcile that it's not me, it's them. In the same vein, your worth has nothing to do with those people. That's not you. That's not you didn't create that. That's not your problem. That comes from other broken people and you can't let their brokenness break you. I get that now.

I didn't get that then. I get where you were. So six months you're in a pretty dark place. Your world's been turned upside down, learning it. I still despite all of it, wanted to know my dad at least know who he was and where he came from. And I'm still wondering that about you. Well, I had so I had a police report with his information on it. And so I, I went to the extreme. And this kind of shows that does not surprise that is that is exactly what my husband says all the time, but I I went to the police department. I wanted to pull the police reports. I wanted to make sure it was valid

I went to the courts. I went to the the hospital where I was born or where I was taken and Everything kept pointing to her story being true And so I thought well the one person that I know is gonna tell me the truth Of course is the dude it's a dude And so I actually have video of this and I've never released it and I don't know if I ever will but I have it Just in case I don't know maybe a movie comes out about me. Maybe I will I don't know But we drove by his house six times So he was out of prison. Oh, yeah. Yeah Yeah. He lives literally like an hour from me.

He's a teacher at a school. Yeah. What? Yeah. He's since retired since then, but yeah, he was a teacher at a school. I remember there was no registries or anything back in 1972. So hold it. So did you hold it?

So you drove by his house, I guess. So I found out where he lived. Okay. I, you know, of course the, the searching and stuff. And this was back in 2011, I think 2010. And we found out where he lived and I couldn't stop though. So I kept having my husband drive by. And so we, we literally were videotaping the entire time driving by six times. And then finally I'm like, we're going to stop, let's stop. And so we,

we pull into the drive. First first of all your husband is the boss What's his name Joe Joe Forget being the mayor that is That man loves you to do that. He's pretty awesome. That's the boss work right there So anyway, you roll up in the driveway We yeah, we pull up in the driveway and there's this lady on this ladder that's painting the barn.

And so I'm like, all right, this is now or never. I got one shot. And so we got out and walked up to this lady. And I said, you know, my name is Monica. And she says, I know who you are and you're not welcome here. And I don't know what all I said at that moment is Monica and she says, I know who you are and you're not welcome here. And, uh, I, I don't know what all I said at, at that moment that wasn't probably appropriate to say, but

you know, she says, you know, he doesn't want to be your father. He's never going to be your father. And, and I said, I don't want him to be my father. I have a father that adopted me, that loves me, you know, and she called me a bitch. Am I allowed to say that on here? We can bleep it out, right? It doesn't matter. Even if even if even if Alex does bleep it, it's people would know what it's. Yeah, it's fine.

But she called me names. And finally, my husband stepped in and goes, you have no idea what you are doing right now to this to this woman. Like you, we need to go because she's done nothing to you. And this kind of goes back to the, you know, the, it's not my fault kind of thing. Yeah. You know, and he wasn't there that this at this meeting and it's probably a good thing that he wasn't. He, he was at school. I didn't realize where he worked at the time,

but he then called that night to my home. I left a packet He called yeah, I left a packet. I that's me. I'm gonna leave everything I'm as open and as raw and as real and so I wrote everything down and I left it with her and I figured she would just throw it away. And so that night he called and Yeah, it was it was not good. It was not good. So what do you say? Well, he wanted a DNA test to start off because he's like, yeah, it's not true. I don't know what she's telling you, blah, blah, blah.

This was a lie. And then I would go back to her and I would say, hey, this is what he said. And she says, of course this is what, and then she, and it was like, it was going back and forth and I was like, I was done. I was just so done. And so I decided, I think that's what I needed though to be able to close it was

to to learn his hatred towards me also not just her and that's when I started to pick myself up and go back to my faith you use the word reflection unfortunately you reflected to him the worst thing he'd probably ever done in his life. And his distaste for you was only manifested by probably his own hatred for himself. Yeah. Okay. Why in the world have we gone this deep into this? Because to understand the amazing work you're doing now and how hard you've worked to make this thing a reality,

I think it's really important that people understand why you're so passionate about it. And if listening to the last 15, 20 minutes of this story hasn't helped people to understand your depth of passion, then they probably don't need to be listening. Now get off the yeah, just thank you for your candor. And I can't be easy discussing all of that all the time.

It's not it gets. It's mentally exhausting some days when I have to do it over and over and over and I get that I'm doing Christ's work and that I'm I'm here to do it because I need to further you know my purpose you know that he's given me but it is exhausting some days and it's emotionally exhausting which is just worse and physically being exhausted well you are this five foot tall ball of string one five one okay five foot one, ball of strength with a really bright light around you. So however it got to this point, you know, good enough. All right. So you're raised by a loving adoptive family.

You knew you were adopted. You had a story that you were told that turned out to be the complete backwards opposite of what your real story was. You found out you were a story, but you found a way to live. You've learned to be a medic and a firefighter and you had a career and you have a cool husband who I wish was here because I'd like to high five him. He loves you like I love Lisa. It is clear. You have children and you're going on about life. So take me from there. So after I graduated high school, I joined the United States military. And that's a big part of

my story. I'm sorry, I forgot that. Yeah, which is also not at all surprising. Join the military. And so fighters fight. That's that's where I got my love for firefighting. and so then when I got out I joined the fire service became firefighter and medic and then yeah you're right I was just going through life and and then uh I stumbled upon my birth mother at 37 and that kind of changed the course of my life and so knowing her story I decided to start talking about it and it actually brought me a little bit of peace and was she okay with you talking about it because that's her story and her trauma to it is her story completely. It's not my trauma. It's not my story. It's hers, but your story, her trauma. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I see where you're coming from. I'm in that,

but the only thing that she told me not to do is to ever give her last name. And so I've never publicly said, yeah, so I started talking about it. And it actually became a little bit of therapy for me being out there and talking and getting people's reaction. And the more I talked, the more I appreciated the response that people were getting. And it's just like, almost like I had this gift of telling people not only my story, but reality, you know, reality of a child not being here because you decide to, to take, you know, the rape and incest. Monica, maybe share that your son encouraged that. So it was a beautiful story of you guys sitting down with the rape and incest Monica may be sure that your son encouraged that

So it was a beautiful story of you guys sitting down with the family and yeah Yeah, so well And that was one of the things that I always wanted to do was I always if it was going to be me out there speaking The entire family had to do it because we were gonna be under scrutiny We were gonna there were people that were gonna hate us that were on the other side of this When you say on the other side of this, do you mean on the other side of the abortion debate? Okay. Okay. And I knew that people were going to come at us and they were going to attack my family. Can I ask you something real quick before we go?

Yeah, it's a here's one of those squirrels. I'm going to chase up a tree. I do squirrels all time. So okay. You know, I'm not a big fan of that. Can we believe that out? I do not do squirrels. Okay. All right. So I'll let your husband know. Do you empathize with the other side of the abortion debate that you believe in?

You mean the people that believe in abortion? Do I emphasize with them? I do because I think they're being lied to. I don't think that they're... Okay, forget it. Let's say they're not being lied to. They're discerning very intelligent people. There are a lot of intelligent people on that side. I know. If somebody is on the other side of your belief set on that debate, If somebody is on the other side of your belief set on that debate, can you empathize with their position? I can understand it. Empathy for them.

Um, I don't know. I'd have to get back to you on that. I'd have to probably dig a little bit deeper because I was one of those people though that said I'm pro-life except in the cases of Ravenous. I sat in a church, you know, 45 years's what I mean I was going there my question was before you found out where you're from where were you on that I was there that's why I think you should empathize with them is what I'm that's just what's going on in my squirrely head well in but I don't think they're given the full

truth you know I and I don't think they're given reality. This moment, I don't think I was. I've never met a you. It's good to meet you, Bill. Good to meet you as well. And I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Glad I'm here too. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Monica Kelsey. Guys, don't miss part two. It's now available to listen to. We're about to dive deep into safe haven baby boxes. Together guys, we can change this country, but it starts with you. I'll see you in part two.

Tickets are on sale now, y'all.. I'm Mary Kay McBrayer, host of the podcast The Greatest True Crime Stories Ever Told, where I dig into crimes where a woman is not just a victim. She might be the detective, the lawyer, the witness, the coroner, the criminal, or some mix of those roles. Because these are the stories we need to know to understand the intersection of society, justice, and the workings of the human psyche. Listen to the greatest true crime stories ever told starting on February 11th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing.

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