An Army of Normal Folks - Peter Mutabazi: The Single Dad Who's Fostered 47 Kids (Pt 2)

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Peter Mutabazi is a Ugandan immigrant didn’t accept the cultural narrative that only white married people can foster and adopt kids. So far, this single dude has fostered 47 kids, adopted 3 of them, and he’s in the process of adopting 2 more of them! His radical love also happened to go viral, making him the most famous foster dad in America, with 2.5 million followers across social media.   Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Tate McCray. The offspring. Tim McRaw. Tickets are all sale now at AXS.com. Get your tickets today. AXS.com. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how. they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks, and we continue now

of part two of our conversation with Peter Muda-Bazi right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes. Don't let anything keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make Star as part of your talent strategy at tear the papersealing.org. Brought to you by opportunity at work in the ad council.

Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this until this. that turn this. It's just... I can do my icecloth. I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading

expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. See? Listen to No Such Thing on the Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc.

And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me. New episodes every Wednesday on exactly. right listen wherever you get your podcasts our iHeart radio music festival presented by capital one

is coming back to las vegas september 19th and 20th on your feet streaming live only on hulu ladies and gentlemen brian adams ed sherin fade chlorilla jelly roll john fogerty lil wayne l l l. colchay maria carrie maroon five sammy hagar tape mccray the offspring tim mcraw tickets are Sale now at AXS.com. Get your tickets today. AXS.com. Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the movie pass era? Where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents and I could not stop thinking about it. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech podcast, there are no girls on the internet. On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators

who are left out of the tech headlines, like the visionary behind a movie pass, Black founder Stacey Spike. who was pushed out of Movie Pass, the company that he founded. His story is wild and it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary. We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France, or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong, those kids are wearing Jordans, they're wearing Kobe's shirt, they're watching Black Panther.

And the challenges of being a Black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks. like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created there are no girls on the internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to there are no girls on the internet on the IHurt Radio app, Apple Podcasts

or wherever you get your podcasts. And you end up going to university and then you end up in England. Yeah, so I finished high school, went to university in Uganda and then got a scholarship to go study in England. And that's how I came to the United States.

Tell us about your time in England briefly. So, you know, there was students from Durham University who came to Uganda. And my pastor was busy. He's like, look, I have no time for these teenagers. Oh, we need to also say, real quick, to set this up, I started tearing up. When he started tearing up, and I missed, so I screwed up the whole interview. Thanks a lot. Sorry.

He also said there were two things. one you had to go to church and what was the other there were two things he said right one of them was you had to go to church right is that not right yes and and the funny part the church is Agape Baptist Church

is what Agap Baptist Church that's why I wanted to say it is Agape Baptist Church I thought Mr. Jordan might appreciate that a little bit of trivia. Hey, Bill, they're bringing you tissues if either you guys want to?

I'm good. We're good. Pass them around out there. The simplicity of a name, the simplicity of a meal, the simplicity of the ability to simply dream for acceptance and love and humanity.

and belonging ultimately is what changed your life. Yes. It is also ultimately the recipe to change so much of what else are American culture because although your story is African and although your story has

certainly children living worse than any child I can think of in America, it doesn't diminish the fact that we are riddled with kids all over our country who don't dream, who are abused, who nobody knows their name, who don't feel like they belong,

who are dealing with so much trauma they fear to also dream, and thus the generational repetitive nature of poverty and all the crap that's killing our society along with it. But you go to England. and briefly what you do in England before you come to the U.S. Yeah, so my job was to reshare the gospel, you know, so I can go to every country I could possibly go. Yeah, it was important to say the church part before you just go to England and do the gospel thing.

You know, so yeah, so there was students who came from Durham, so my father's like, I have no time. They're here for, you know, missionaries who come and want to spend every time. So he's like, can you hang out with them? I say, sure, you know. So I did hang up with them for a few weeks. And so when they went back, they were like, we made this guy from Uganda and would like to do something special, would like to give my scholarship to come and study. So that's how I ended up going to England for the group of students that I got to horsewala.

I'm in Uganda for sure. And then you come to the U.S. Yes. So, you know, in southern Sudan, there was a war for many minutes. And by the way, the story actually gets good from here. Right. There's an American kid who's just, you know, shot less and in a refugee camp. By then I was working for the Red Cross.

You know, so I was dating an American. So I was like, hey, if you come to Kampala, come and hang out with us. And he says, sure, so he came. So he stayed with us for a month and he came back to the United States. Again, he went to his school and said, I made this guy. You should give him a scholarship to come and study. And that's also how I came to study. What I'm trying to say is the kindness of strangers who saw the best in me by me,

just doing what I was required to do, but somehow they went back and became my testament in a way, like, I know him, you know, you should give him an opportunity to do more. And that's how I came to the United States. Absolutely. And I, if you want to know, so coming to United States was really a jump in a way. You know, I came from Kampala to Los Angeles. And when I arrived, I thought, where am I, you know?

First of all, I thought we're going to crash because, you know, I'd never seen a car going 80 miles an hour. So I was like, pot a hard car. It never came. But my first day, I really, really struggled with my faith. The family that were hosting me that day, they took me for lunch. So, you know, bought food for me, so I ate all I could, you know. And I was cleaning the plate with my fingers.

They're like, you want more? I say, is that possible? So they gave me more food, you know. But while I'm sitting there, I saw, you know, the waiters passing by with plates. So I said, where is that food going to go? And they said, well, it's going to the trash. And in those moments, it hit me, I said, I don't think I can read the Bible, go to the same church as these people do. You know, the reason was, how could God love others to have so much throw away and others to die for lack of beans and potatoes?

You know, I've lost members of my family for lack of beans and potatoes. When you haven't eaten or you have non-nutrition, usually you're not strong enough to fight malaria, you know, which is a single. simple disease. So I've lost members of my family for lack of beans and potatoes. So seeing all that food thrown away, I could not. I just said, there's no way I can go and read the same Bible as these people do because I had never seen that much food thrown away. And I didn't want to go back to church because of that, my first experience. Luke 1248, to whom much is given, much is required. You want to talk about that? Yes, absolutely. So while I was mad, you know, I somehow I went back to my dormitory.

And somehow I read, you know, Sam 139. You know, we know David. This guy was thinking wealthy, you know? I'm a single dad, but I hear this guy had 100 wives. Like, how do you have 100 wives? I'm just imagining 100 wives with each with four kids, Foscaria. I mean, there's a lot of kids out of fours. Yeah, but this is from a guy with 47 children, so whatever.

Go ahead. We'll get to that in a minute. So I noticed that in some other night, he's like, you know, the way he says words, like, I love you, God, because of how you made me that I can stretch, walk, like the simplest thing that we all do. And that really helped me to see, like, wait a minute, kids in Africa do the same, you know. And I love what he says in 14. He says, for you're fearfully and wonderfully made.

And I know that fully well. So that really helped me understand that, hey, my faith isn't best on that food, you know. It's best on how he made you and I, for you're fearfully and wonderfully made. On the same flip, now that I can have three meals. had four pairs of shoes, I was like, how do I go home and say, I am okay? You know, now I got to really be rebuked in some way to whom much is giving much required that I knew I was the wealthiest man on the planet, you know, compared to why I come from like, I can have four meals if I want.

But how one day when I meet my Jesus says, you have four, how do you do? But also I was living in Los Angeles and I was visiting these families that have 10 to 20,000 square footage. And I'll say, how many people live here, too? And I'll say, just two of you? And that really rattled me because where I come from, the biggest house is as big as your car garage. And there's six to 14 people that are living in that space.

So for me to compare and say, how can you have all that and still have no, I don't know, just I feel like you must, you must help. And so for me, I didn't want to live that life. I just didn't want to have and have, but I wanted to say, I have been given so much. You know, how do I give back? And that's so I worked for Compassion International for 11 years. And while we're traveling, you know, I would always take pastors and influencers or, you know, artists that sing, you know, Christian artists. Or some families were adapting, you know, so I've been in more than 120 countries.

and I had never seen someone who looked like me who was adapting, you know? So I always... So, pause. Yes, I'll pause. I think this is really important. Everybody needs to take just a second here what he just said. Say it again, but let everybody consume what you're saying. Because it's an indictment on our society, in my opinion, that we got to fix.

that I think you were a shining example of. But you said, I never saw anybody look like me that adopted. Why don't you really say what that is? Well, the mission that came to Uganda where all white people, all the families were adopting from Uganda were always white people. So I never saw anyone who looked like me who was doing what I saw. But also being colonized by the English, I think we were in some way, our brain we're told a lie, you know,

a sudden people can do these things and certain people can do these things. So for me, adoption was for these people. White people. Exactly, yes. Let's not say the, let's just be real. White people. And then for us, we're on the receiving end.

Like, we can do what they do, you know. They give, we're on the receiving end. But see, here's the thing to me. That reeks of paternalism. that was baked into culture for decades. Yes. And I'm not convinced that that's not baked into our culture a little bit. Okay, so I said something.

I didn't ask a question. Let me figure out how to ask this question. How do we fix that? How do we fix that? You know, I think for me is on my end, I can do what I can do, you know? For me, it's changing the narrative or the lie I was told and leave the opposite way, you know, or share all the people that follow me or know me to say, you know, we believe the lie. Here's how I'm changing the narrative of what we are told, you know.

And that's... Well, it's no different of a lie than when you were 10 and you were told you were no better than a dog or actually under a dog. or actually under adult. Right. It's a similar lie. It's just a higher level. Correct. But it's a similar lie.

Correct. That only white people adopt. That black people are unworthy to be adopted. Mm-hmm. It's destructive. Yes. And it puts us in a place where we feel, you know, you always feel,

am I good enough? You know, can I get there? You know, and every time you try to get there, They're like, well, you know, we'll bring a boss from United Kingdom to run your organization. Wait, there's no one in my country that can run the same in a way that you get really seen leadership. You get to see that often. And yeah, you begin to believe that a lie, that I'm not good enough. Or white people can do this, I'm destined to do this.

You know, and for me, I said, no, that can't be. And I want to live a different way. we'll be right back don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes don't let anything

keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree it's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org.

Brought to you by opportunity at work in the ad council. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men

think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, until this. Do this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do it my eyes close. I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And on our new show, no such thing. We get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing.

Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our IHeart Radio Music Festival, presented by Capital One, is coming back to Las Vegas. Vegas. September 19th and 20th. On your feet. Streaming live only on Hulu. Ladies and gentlemen. Brian Adams.

Ed Shearin. Fade. Chlorilla. Shelley Roll. Chon Fogarty. Lil Wayne. L.L. Cool J. Mariah Carey.

Maroon 5. Sammy Hagar. Tate McCray. The offspring, Tim McGraw. Tickets are on sale now at AXS.com. Get your tickets today. AXS.com. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get Holden and how they get out.

Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the movie pass era? Where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents and I could not stop thinking about it. I'm Bridget Todd. Host of the tech podcast, there are no girls on the internet.

On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators who are left out of the tech headlines, like the visionary. Behind a movie pass, Black founder Stacey Spikes, who was pushed out of Movie Pass the company that he founded. His story is wild that it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary. We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France, or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong, those kids are wearing Jordans, they're wearing Kobe's shirt, they're watching Black Panther.

And the challenges of being a Black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what? a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to There Are No Girls on the Internet on the IHurt Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So as I'm reading all about you and we're about to get to the adoptions, and everything else.

The adoptions are beautiful. Your story is beautiful. Your book is beautiful. But I just want to say to you on a personal level, you're sticking your feet in the sand and saying the dysfunction of these lies I am not going to bend to. That's what is most inspirational to me about you. because the question to the answer, how do we change this, is you and more men like you. And that just jumped out to me when I was reading about your story as, wow, he fought through all of this as kids,

but he also recognized a lie, rejected it, and as a living illustration about a change. It's phenomenal, Peter. Thank you. So, you're in Denver and you decide if I can take care of some plants, maybe I could be a father. Right. Tell us that. Right. So before I could, you know, try, so I said, I'm going to take care of plants.

And if for three months, if they survive, that means I can go next stage, you know, so they survive. He wouldn't take on children because he was afraid it was his father. and he thought, if I can keep plants alive, maybe I can take care of the kids. I think that's hilarious. But also, I didn't allow me to be a foster person. So I said, I'm going to go in. Oh, that's another thing. You didn't even know because of this lie.

If you were even allowed to be a foster parent. Yes. In the United States. Correct. Yes. Because of your race. Absolutely. But also, too, remember, I traveled with farmers who were adapting.

So even in Ethiopia, I would say, hey, it's, it's kind of. And I? No, you have to be American or European or married or a female. But in some way, they are saying, an white female from America or a white female from Europe or a family from Europe. That's for me what I had. But they are the only ones I saw. So I was like, okay, they cannot. But I'm going to find a way like, I'm just not giving up. So I'm going to grow some plants.

Well, yes. And then I went to Foscair. So I said, hey, is there a way? Is there a way? you can help me or you can allow me to mentor two teenagers once a month is there where you could give me one hour

that's all I asked for like mentor just one hour that's all I thought I mean they can't say no right you know I thought just taking a kid for lunch that should be easy so the social worker who received and said hey have you ever thought of being a force of that

I said I think about I think about that every day but I'm not qualified in my head I was saying one I'm black. Two, I'm a male. Three, I'm single. So I don't have the profile you're looking for. And she looked at me. She's like, who told you can't? Oh, wait, are we talking? She said, by the way, 30% of people who are forced parents are single moms? You can be. And I was like, are you sure? She said, yes. It was on a Monday. I signed up on Thursday because I thought she would change her mind. So I was like, get a real quick. really, really quick. So on Thursday, I said, okay, I'm ready for classes, you know. And that's all it took.

I wanted to, you know, and in my life, I always wanted to go against the gray, you know, so always going the opposite way. So I said, I don't care. Tell me what I need to do. And on Thursday, I studied classes right away. And as I was studying classes, people, you know, other, you know, couples that will come. They were always married, of course, you know. And they were like, when is your wife coming?

I'm like, uh, there's no. wife's like, are you sure you in the right class? I said, yes. So you passed the classes. Tell us about your very first placement. I think you use cane. That's not his real name. Correct. Everybody was a child, so we don't use the real name, but we'll call it Kane. Tell me about Kane. Tell me about your first weekend with Kane. Oh, well. So, and folks got thought, you know, you do the classes, they give you a license, so you wait for six months. A child will show up. I had no idea that they'll say, hey, your license arrived at 10. Can you keep your phone nearby? I was like, hold on. Just today? Sure enough. Literally, four hours late, so I got a phone call.

Like, hey, this is a kid. I'm like, well, that speaks to the need. It does. It's speak. You're out four hours and you get a phone call. That speaks to the need for an army of normal folks to step up for children who, as you've just heard the last 45 minutes. Even though they're not sleeping in sewers, they're dealing with all of the stuff that you understood. Yes. And the same trauma I had to go through as a street kid is what the same trauma. Our kids are going, it's not so much about where you are. It's what's happening to you.

And, you know, as a kid, doesn't matter if you're in Africa or here is the same trauma that you're facing. So I got that little one. So when he arrived, you know, in your mind, you've never been a parent. So you're thinking, like, oh, Lord, what did I sign up for, you know? So the kid comes in. and I get my biggest couch. I put it against the door because I thought, if he runs away at night, I'll be right there, you know. But the kid didn't, you know, didn't run away.

And in the morning he just said, hey, dad, what are we having for breakfast? I was like, that's all you're asking for in my head. I was like, I didn't sleep because I was worried about what to do. And that's how he clicked like, oh, all he wants is food. And that's how I have to take day by day. And it was wonderful, you know, and also was the most difficult. traumatized child I've ever had in my life, you know? So in some way I thought, God, if this is it, I don't think I, not like I, it was more like

why did I sign out for, in a way. But it was hard, but probably the best I can say, you know, the best opportunity because it really showed me, first of all, what was all about and what I was signing up for. And I said, I have six months and I knew this is my calling. Peter, you got to tell the story about the police with Kane. Yes. So, you know, first of all, they brought the kids. So they brought out the widest kid you could think of the first time.

You're thinking, and also again, again, also, so remember my lies from being an African and coming here, we're still in the same brain, but I was translating the same way. For me, I thought, only kids who go to forced care are Hispanic and African-American. Because that's how we are told, you know, the under the, you know, disadvantage. So in my head, I knew I'm going to have as many African kids as I could. That's what in my head I thought, you know. So when that white kid walked in, I was like, I think you're in the wrong house. They're like, no, this is your kid.

I was like, um, okay. That's hilarious. So that's how he came. So I take him to Chucky Cheese. So Ake's who would trauma sometimes when he just go in the freeze mode or fight mode, I mean, it's war. By the way, I knew he was white when I read the fake name. Okay. There's no black name, Cain.

You know he's a white kid? So I take him to Chucky Cheese and he goes off. So as he goes off, I was like, oh, no. So he's crying, screaming. So I pick him up and he's screaming and biting me. So we're going through and everyone is looking at. like, what is, who's this? So the lady walking out, too, he's like, where he's his mom?

I said, I'm his mama and his dad, okay? And so she goes, she goes in her car and calls the police. Like, so I'm sitting there. So I knew she was calling the police. So I was like, okay. So instead of putting my child in the car, I just put him on, it was a pickup truck. So I put him right in the pick, so they can see us. Like, whenever comes, can see us.

So that was my first, my first experience, and it didn't stop. I think we've been stopped maybe 11 times by the police by now. So that was my first kind of, you know, he's what life is going to be for you in a way that really changed the way. I do it. Because it's the right thing to do. So. Kane turned into

how many? 47 and you are now the father to how many? Three and I'm a person of adopting the other two. That's phenomenal. I've seen

there's a YouTube I highly suggest you guys listing and in attendance here look up the YouTube video of the guy that chaded in his really cool exfinity something for a grocery getter mama van and it's got kids piled in this thing

and it looks like the United Nations in the back of this deal you got white kids back there you got black kids you got boys you got girls and y'all are just rolling Mm-hmm. Rolling is the word, yes, absolutely. What's that? Roaring is the word, yes.

Sometimes I show places and the ladies are like, hey, do you run like a transport business? I usually say, yes, I mean, like, do you have space? No, I have no space. That is absolutely hilarious. We'll be right back. Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes.

Don't let anything keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org. Brought to you by opportunity at work in the ad council. Imagine that you're on an airplane, and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency, and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane.

Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, do this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do it in my eyes closed. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devon. And on our new show, no such thing.

We get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Our I Heart Radio Music Festival Presented by Capital One Is coming back to Las Vegas September 19th and 20th On your feet Streaming live only on Hulu Ladies and gentlemen Brian Adams

Ed Sheeran Phid Glorilla Jelly Roll John Fogarty Lil Wayne LL Cool J Mariah Mary Carey Maroon 5 Sammy Hagar

Tate McCray The Offspring Tim McGraw Tickets are on sale now At AXS.com Get your tickets today AXS.com. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult.

But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors,

former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me. New episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the Movie Pass era, where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents, and I could not stop thinking about it.

I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech podcast, there are no girls on the internet. On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators who are left out of the tech headlines, like the visionary behind a movie pass, black founder Stacey Spikes, who was pushed out of Movie Pass the company that he founded. His story is wild that it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary. We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France, or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong, those kids are wearing Jordans, they're wearing Kobe's shirt, they're watching Black Panther.

And the challenges of being a Black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to There Are No Girls on the Internet on the IHurt Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Tell me about your family. So, you know, as a first parent, so I've had little ones, you know, my youngest 12 months. She's now four.

And my oldest is 21. So I've had every child you could think of, you know. And it's really been a joy for me to learn. from every one of them. And the other part that I really, so my first child, again, it's amazing when you have you one kid and then get to really teach you everything about what your journey is about to be. So he gets sick at night.

So I'm like, social workers don't pick up phones at three, you know, no. So I'm like, you know, who do I call? So I call the mom. I said, hey, your little one is wheezing. What should I do? And so she said, do this, do this. So I followed. And after that, you know, the kid was okay and went to bed.

Next morning I got a phone call from the mom. She said, Peter, thank you for allowing me to be a mom for five minutes. You know? Oh, you know, remember, for me coming in, I was seeing them as my father. Like, you, horrible parents, you, you, you, you, and I remember that one time someone was saying, what a mother would let their kids be on the streets of Kampala. And I could remember, like, my mom loved me so much, but she couldn't run away and I couldn't protect her in some way.

And in those moments when she said that, I was like, you know what, now it all makes sense why I'm a forced parent. I'm a foster parent to the entire family. And I go to owner the mom and the dad and make sure they have their kids back, you know? And that really helped me to know what's all about force care and what my job in that path was. So I decided to say, I will make sure that I come alongside and be a resource to their bio parents and do the best I can. If that is not, I want to be their final family. I want to be the final dad they can have. And that truly has been really joy.

You know, again, that's why 47, because I, and all of them, I'm sitting in touch with each one of them because I valued their parents and I did everything I could in my powers to give their kids back, you know. For me as a male, it's easy to look at male and say, it's easy. Here's what I find. I find it's easy for us as male to cast the stones to the. the moms, you know. But we never understood what these moms have to go through in so many ways. That for me, understanding that really helped me to say, how can I be a resource? How can I be that person who believes in them that can say, I know you struggle, but I'm here that you wake up one day and you have your kids back and matter the course. There's a couple things I got to

get to before I open it up to questions. And one is, and I think it's a story of who became your first adopted son. Yes. is, you really didn't want to know what damn thing about him, did you? Yeah, no, I know. Tell us. So, as foster parents, we say goodbye to our kids. And most people don't want to foster because they're like,

I don't know how I can say goodbye. And usually I say, actually... I think most people don't want to foster because they don't want to welcome in their homes, the trauma and tornado that is ultimately a really broken kid. Absolutely. And then the people that are able to get over that, then they're like, well, I've done.

relationship with this kid and I start caring about them, but my job is return them to their parents. And I don't want to go through that on trauma in my own heart. I think those are the two big things. And so you started to get guarded against it. And you're like, I don't want to know anything about this kid, but I'll take them in for a little while. Well, I had two had gone home on Monday. So I told my social worker say, hey, this is really hard. So I need six month break, you know. So that's what we agreed on six months. So I can have a little, you know. A little downtime for you. On Monday. She calls me on Friday. She's like, hey, Um, there's a kid that needs at home.

I say, hold on, hold up. Six months, she says, Peter, I promise you, this is just for the weekend. I promise. That's what they always say. The people in Agape are giggling because they know that all too well. I said no. I said no. And then she said, he's at the hospital.

So then I'm like, oh, dang it. Now I can't say no, you know. So I said, yeah, he can come, but I don't need to know. I don't want to know anything about him. All I need to know is what I need to keep. My knives. What do I need my water? Like, what do I need to keep?

Because it was 11. You know, because the kids had left, I just wasn't, I, in me, there wasn't something there for me to give back to this kid, you know? So he comes in at 3 in the morning. Oh, my kids, by the way, coming between 2 in the morning and 4. I don't know why. You know, you know, why. So he walks in and the social worker left.

So I said, hey, call me Mr. Peter. my last name is long and he looks at me and said hey but can I call you my dad this is what I said I said hell no no no no no no no no no he was my number he was my number 11 I had had I said no no and then he looks at me and say but I was told since I'm 11 I can choose who my father should be you should be my dad I say dude this is within the first hour No, 20 minutes 20

Not an hour, 20 minutes So I said I said, knock it off You're living on Monday And I had warned the social worker I said if you don't pick up If you don't pick him up in a Monday He'll be outside on the porch waiting for him

That was my warning So I said Please So on Monday finally they come to pick him up Now that I signed papers I was like So by the way, why was he left to the hospital? You know?

And the social worker told me me, well, he came into Foski at one and a half, and then he was adapted by the family that took him in at four, and the same family had dropped him at the hospital, never say goodbye, and never give him the reason why they did not want him anymore. And in those moments, I think I went back to my 10-year-old on the bus, and I said, no, no. But also too, sometimes we ask God to give us something. You know, you pray and ask God to give you something. And then when he gives it to you, like, not today. It was, I want that, but just

not today, you know. And I think for me, as a parent, I've always wanted to be a dad, and he's a kid screaming, can I be your dad? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, so finally, you know, I knew, I knew. He'd call me dad. I knew I'll be his dad. And I said, just give me those paperwork. I'll send him to school tomorrow.

And that is my first adopted son, Anthony Metabas. He's now 19 years old. Going to college, yes. unbelievable yes yeah that up a couple things

for we turn it over to the audience in your book by the way I guess I need to plug the book I did plug the book but I'll plug it again everybody if you like

what you've heard so far you're an absolute goofball not to buy love does not conquer all and other surprising lessons I learned as a father-dad to more than 40 kids. Remember, he also has a life. He flips and rehabs houses while taking care of all these children and adopting others.

Chapter 7. We don't always like our kids. Oh, yes. I got four children that are, as you would call them, bios. Peter's language for a child that you actually, bar. And, you actually, Earth that has your DNA as a bio, right? Well, I got four bios, and they're biodegrading half the time. And I don't like them at all sometimes. Right, yes. But I always love them. Yes.

Chapter 7, tell us. Tell us what you mean by we won't always like our kids. Absolutely. I think sometimes as parents we come in with these kumbaya roses and whatever you call them. You know, in first case, the opposite, you know. that there's sometimes when they do things or their trauma shows up and I don't like it and that's a genuine valid way of saying I'm human like I I don't like it when you're putting holes in my in my home in my wall and there's like number 20 of holes you put in you

know that for me to say it's okay I think sometimes we're afraid to say I don't like it you know that people will think we are bad parents but for me I'm like yeah some days I just say, son, if I had a way I could drive and not come back, I would do it, but I can't, you know, that we don't always have to love our children, but we can always be there and protect them and fight for them, even in the times when they're not pleasant to be around. I laughed out loud when I read this. Listen to this, everybody. Over 40 foster children in three adoptions later, I find myself surprised on a daily basis. I know. never expect to have a child paint the bathroom with poop or destroy a school classroom

or to find eight, nine-year-olds making out like they saw people doing homes from which they were moved. Nor did I expect to find my next door neighbor's video game console in my living room. Yet I've discovered the surprises of parenting are also opportunities to grow as a human being and as a dad. talk about it you know there's a sense sometimes for us parents who we think we are doing a favor for someone you know but i think for me i want it to look in a while like as much as i love them and as much as i want to be there for them that they have taught me so much as well that there are some places they've helped me grow and be a better human being in a way so it's both it's as it's as you

get to shepherd and and be there as their parents that they get to do the same i'm more i understand patience like I thought I knew patience you know I thought I knew grace I was like man this Christian thing I'm far from it you know but they've taught me in in a better way that I'm a better human being because we we both benefiting from each other now it's not just one way it's not just me being there for them that they are also a source of resist so maybe we get as much out of it as we put into it absolutely I think I get more yes I think I get more and my kids um took you 17 years to become an american citizen yes but you are now yes why 17 years you know it's the only system i have you know uh that i did all they asked me

follow the the rules you know whatever you know student from student to work work for work green it's a green card, you know, and finally an American, you know, because I wanted to fight for my, for the kids. But also, I feel like Foske is my calling, like truly, truly believe every, that's what I breathe, that's what I talk about, that's my life, you know, false care, that truly, truly is a, is a place for us to make a difference, you know. I tell people, you know, who are fighting, you know, sex trafficking, I'm like, that's so cool, but you're coming in too late in somewhere, you know, that sometimes I wish you came a little bit earlier when they're 13 and come alongside, you know, that yes, we get to hold people in homeless, help people in homeless,

but sometimes I wish we could have come a little earlier when they are 14, you know, that I feel as a male who lived that life, that truly I can be a voice to sometimes in a place where there's less men as well, to really show that, men, we have the same reciprocity as moms do, to be there, to be tender, and to be on our knees to truly take care of the list of these. We'll be right back. Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes.

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Adventure should never come with a pause button. Remember the movie pass era, where you could watch all the movies you wanted for just $9? It made zero cents, and I could not stop thinking about it. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech podcast there are no girls on the internet. On this new season, I'm talking to the innovators who are left out of the tech headlines. Like the visionary behind a movie pass,

Black founder Stacey Spikes, who was pushed out of movie pass the company that he founded. His story is wild and it's currently the subject of a juicy new HBO documentary. We dive into how culture connects us. When you go to France,

or you go to England, or you go to Hong Kong, those kids are wearing Jordans. They're wearing Kobe Shoehl shirt, they're watching Black Panther. And the challenges of being a black founder. Close your eyes and tell me what a tech founder looks like. They're not going to describe someone who looks like me and they're not going to describe someone who looks like you. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. So listen to There Are No Girls on the Internet on the

IHurt Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alex, the producer, drives me absolutely nuts, and any regular lister will know that I often just tell him to be quiet and sit in a corner like the Wizard of Oz does behind that carton, you know, because producers are a pain in the butt. But he does have lots of value, both personally and professionally. This is something he has said to me over and over and over again. And for everybody listening out there and those of us who joined us here, they're over. 400,000 kids and foster care in the United States. There's 115,000 of them whose parental rights have been terminated and could be adopted today. Meanwhile, there's 400,000 houses of worship in our country between churches and synagogues and mosques. There's 400,000 houses of worship in

the country. So if just one person out of one of every three houses of worships, served like Peter did, there would be no orphans in our country. And when you have a street kid that grew up in Uganda who couldn't even dream of anything other than one meal a day, who it took 19 years to become a citizen of our country, having served 47 foster children adopted three, and it's in the process of adopting three more. What does it say about our apathy toward the most needy among us? If we're really going to be an army of normal folks guys,

there's got to be a calling. There's got to be people listening to me right now who have a passion for children in one of these big old houses that you talk about, Peter. one of three, one of three of all these houses of worship. And Peter so rightly cited, to much has been given, much is required. So it's really not a nice thing to do to step up and do this work. It's a responsibility. It is.

It's a societal responsibility. And there's 2 million people waiting for adoption. And we are trying to say, why wait? You know, maybe change your primaries. Instead of wanting a toddler, maybe a 7-year-old, maybe a 9-year-old, maybe a teenager. They are my favorite human being. Why? Because they can dress themselves.

They can tell me their feelings. And they're just fun to be around. I'm going to end with asking you to tell me a story and I'm going to open up for questions for the last few minutes we have together. Yes. Joseph and the Ants. Can you tell me the story of Joseph and the ants and what we can learn from it? Joseph Andy. Yeah.

The story about... There's an ant invasion in your home, Peter. Oh, yes. Yes. There you go. Oh, you know, yes, hoarding is part of our kids come. It's not a disease. It's not a bad thing.

When you know, just was me, we would steal food and hide it, you know, and sometimes we will lose it because we're hiding it because you can't eat all the food you're hiding. To our kids, yes, the idea that food won't be there today in the United States is there. That some kids go to bed hungry and they try to make sure that they can provide for themselves. And that is hoarding. My kids will take the food and hide it. And I knew, so I knew how I can help them.

So one time he took the food, you know, so I said, hey, let's make a deal. You know, no, so there was food there. So I said, hey, why is the food there? And he looked in my eyes and said, well, it walked here. I was like, okay. It walked here. So I said, okay, cool, can we make a deal? Next time you see it walking, can you say, Dad, it is walking in my room and I'll come running.

And I'll make sure I make it go back. says, sure, you know. And we would do it over and over. I found in a way, by believing his white lie, he really learned to trust that, hey, you know what? There will be food for me. So then we began to put food nearby where he can have food that won't bring ants in a home, you know? And also we also, so we, for me, on a pint of milk in my, in my fridge, I put everyone's name, you know? Why?

Because when they see their name on it, they know this portion of their milk that is mine. So they are not worried that that milk is going to go the next day. You know, and that truly helped me to know how I can be there for my kids. No, yes, I don't care. But in a way, if I can help my kid know, like, it's okay, there's food tomorrow. And if I can do that to every child, at warms my heart. For me, I had to do it in Africa. There was no food.

To me, in a country where we throw food every day, that should not be for the kids who need a meal. The point to that whole story is there really is no food. rulebook. No. These kids don't show up with instruction manuals. Oh, dear. I-oh kids don't show up with instruction manuals. And a little love, a little patience, a little understanding, a little creativity, and

an understanding that every kid ticks different, and there's not one size, one rule fits all. No. But if you're willing to be patient and creative, you can address it all, and you have done so. Wow, Peter. What a story, what a legacy you're leaving, what an inspiration you are. Your book is chock full of stuff that people have got to read. I could do this with you two hours, but Peter, I'm told by my producer, Alex,

the pain in the butt, that we don't have that much time. So that's Peter. Would anybody here like to, there he is. You might as well ask him if you have any questions. Yes. yeah it's coming he he likes to play like old phil donahoe if you remember he likes to run around with a microphone uh thanks peter for your story thanks for coming all this way to memphis uh the one question i want to ask you did you ever go back to Uganda to see your mother and your relatives after kind

of college or even being here in the united states for a while yeah so at 19 so i went back to at 19 18 19 for the sake of my mother you know i loved my mom and i wanted to give you have the pride the pride of her walking in the video and say, my son made it. But it was also another way of giving my father middle finger. Like, hey, you wish the best wish for me. He's how I'm making it. Like, I know, for us as Africans, like, I think we have to face on our challenge because there's no way out, you know.

So by going back, I wanted to say, you know, you wish the worst for me, but hey, I forgive you. And I hated him so much. Like, if there was someone I wanted to harm, was my father, you know. And I realized, too, like, wait a minute. he's still ruling me, even him not being there. So by me facing him and say, you know, I'll let you go was a way that I did not want my childhood affect what my future was going to be. So I said no.

Yeah, so I went back. But I have a good relationship with my mom and him, you know, and I went, I went back not to seek for a father, but to forgive a man that didn't care. Bill, she said she had the same question. Oh, exactly same question. Anyone else have a question? Hello. Can you hear me? Yes.

Thank you so much for being. That's not for here. That's for the cameras. Okay, thank you so much for being here with us and for sharing. As I shared with you earlier, I follow you. So I love the opportunities to see you and your children. I love the one where your oldest son went back to Uganda with you. And you introduced him to all of your feelings.

family and you showed him your culture. I love that. Thank you so much. You know, it's, it's, we get to see this, you know, we get to see the American side, if you would, but for you to take the children that you adopted and to take them to Uganda to share that side and for your family there and friends there to be able to meet them, that was rich. So I just wanted to say thank you for that. Thank you. Yes. My kids sometimes they will tell their school, at school, they're like, yeah, you know, I'm African, they're like, wait, what, how, what do you mean? You know, but because they are proud of their father in a way that when people meet me, they're like, oh, now that makes sense, you know.

And also it's really unique that my kids have never said, oh, I have a black dad. They're like, I have a dad. And it's usually when people meet us, they're like, but how come you didn't say he was black? And, you know, like, no, he's my father, Peter, that's all. I don't think you say you have white children, do you? No. Well, sometimes, you know. Don't put my child in the sun.

Just make sure they're courting on his face. Okay, the point is you don't think of them as white children and black. They're just your children. Yeah, they're my children. But also, I have to know that in order to be the best parents I can be, you know? they are like, you know, and you learn, you do things, and you know, I took them in the park and it was like 110. So when they were walking towards me, I was like, these are no my children, because they had turned red. So I was like, oh, sunscreen, you know.

So by me, lining of who they are and their culture, it really helps, you know, but also helps me to match their culture and my culture. You know, any food, they are so picky. But if I say, this is African food, they're like, okay, sure, I'll try, you know. But if I didn't say that, they won't try. So in some way that they've really, you know, taken on that culture of this who our dad is. And that's part of who we are in a way makes me proud. The hardest part is when people call police on me often, you know, and that's the hardest for them. When someone is questioning their father, like, what do you mean, you know?

We go to Costco often. And, you know, there's samples, you know, every time we go someone who, the rule is they cannot feed your child unless the parent is there. You know, but most time they'll say, can you go get to your mom and dad? And they're like, he's right here. What do you mean, you know? And then they're the ones who kind of really want to raise their voice. I'm like, hey, no, you know, we're going to teach this person, change their narrative. And usually we say, you know, hey, next time, do not assume.

I'm standing there, just say, are you their father? And I'll say, yes or no, you know? And most of time I turn around and I say, if I wasn't black, would you have asked the same question? They're saying, no. why because i see the other farmers often and i've never seen any like yours yeah and in fairness let's not villainize people absolutely you know because if i watched you walk up with two kids i would not naturally assume you were their father that is not racist that is just a cultural recognition right it's the reaction to that yes that tells you everything yep it is okay to not have a natural

assumption. It is a reaction to the reality that will tell you everything. Ask, yes. Or sometimes pick them up from daycare. If the person who I dropped was in there like children, I don't think

children I hear, I'm like, yep, five of them over there. Oh, those five of them over there. Some hilarious. Vader. Anybody else? Any other questions at all? Come on.

Why are you the most eligible bachelor in America? What's wrong with all these women? Yes, my phone number is here. Well, so, you know, so remember, I went to school. I was 16. So that means at 16, I was in grade one, you know? At 17, I was in grade two. So for me, I had to catch up in order to be somewhere.

So even when I came to United States, I've always, you know, always been behind. So, you know, I'm the oldest of five. So I wanted all my siblings have gone through university doing well. It's amazing when we do one, how it changes the entire family. And that's how my family changed. It wasn't because, yes, I could send them to school, but it was more of if Peter can do it, we can do it as well. And that's the joy when we help one child who comes from the same family that looking from a father, they are able to believe so. So for me, I really, really, really, always behind.

So in some way, you know, dating can be a little difficult when you live on the opposite side of the way you do things. You know, for me, I want to be a false parent. Either I have a married or I'm not like, this is my calling. And also I realize that it's my calling, but not necessarily a calling for everyone. You know, that sometimes for people who are public places like us, people will admire you. But they admire you as a dad, but they forget about, hey, the kids I have aren't as normal as the kids you expect. Like, they have trauma. And I want to make sure that your trauma informed, you know, in order to ever even have a day.

But I have six, like, you know, every time I go on a day, I bring all my kids. And usually they never come back again. It's really my colleague. And I'm trying to really show people, especially men, like here, and single women as well. we wait we're waiting for someone to come so we can have a farmer and I'm just saying while you're waiting could you be a mom could you be a dad to a kid who needs and when they come they get to know your passion and get to know what you love but don't divert to what you're passionate about because we're waiting for someone who never come or will come and never understand what you're passionate about

from a tiny village that had to walk four miles to get water back and forth to now a college graduate doing all you're doing and all of your siblings have now gone to university and it all started because one day one person asked your name yes how hard is it for us to exact some measure of positive change on people around us every single day this whole story started because a man saw you as human and just said, what's your name? Yep. He saw potential

and that's all he looked at. And if we can do that for others, when we see the potential, not see the behaviors, but really focus on that potential. I know they have behaviors, but I know where it's coming from. The empathy in how we respond is different because we know where it's coming from, you know, but that's not going to deters from seeing potential in people. He is the foster dad, Flipper.

He's the foster dad of 47 kids. Adopted father, there are three and three more in the oven, baking them up, about to get him out. He's the author of the new book, Love Does Not Conquer All, and all the other surprising lessons I learned as foster dad to more 40 kids. He's from Charlotte, North Carolina. He is hilarious, and he is a great human being. Peter Mubazi, does say it right again?

Yes, Peter Muttabba. So actually, it's my father's name. After forgiving him, I really wanted his last name. Because, you know, just so he can know that I'll leave a different legacy than he lived through his name in a way. So that's why I called him. My previous last name was Habi Adama, a gift given to me by God. In my village, for every 100 children were born, 60 would die before the age of two. So my mom waited until I was two, and she named me a gift given to me by God.

Peter, thanks for joining us. Thanks for telling your story. Unbelievable, inspirational. And for those of you who want to hang around and get a copy of his book, he's going to sign it for you. Peter, thank you for join us. Thank you. All right, that's it, everybody. Thank you for joining.

Peter's here if you want a book and want to say hi. Oh, you got that out of me. You're a good man. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. And thank you for joining us this week. If Peter Mutabazi has inspired you in general, or better yet, to take action by fostering kids, adopting a child, helping out foster and adoptive parents,

in your community or something else entirely. Really, y'all, let me know. I want to hear about it. You can write me any time at bill at normalfolks. us. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with friends and on social. Subscribe to the podcast, rate it, review it. Join the army at normalfolks. Any and all of these things that will help us grow,

an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. Until next time, Do what you can. And here's Heather with the weather. Well, it's beautiful out there, sunny and 75, almost a little chilly in the shade.

Now, let's get a read on the inside of your car. It is hot. You've only been parked a short time, and it's already 99 degrees in there. Let's not leave children in the back seat while running errands. It only takes a few minutes for their body temperatures to rise, and that could be fatal. Cars get hot, fast, and can be deadly.

Never leave a child in a car. A message from NHTSA and the ad council. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hoon. You want to take it off. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off. on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

No such thing. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief.

Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Our IHeart Radio Music Festival, presented by Capital One, is coming back to Las Vegas. Vegas. September 19th and 20th.

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