An Army of Normal Folks - The Hidden Reason You Feel Overwhelmed—And It’s Not Your Schedule

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

This Shop Talk gets into a hard truth: you don’t feel overwhelmed because your schedule is full—you feel overwhelmed because of expectations. We unpack why the very thing many are cutting—service and connection—might actually be the thing holding your life together.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/#joinSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks. Welcome into the shop. Hey, Alex. Oh, hello, Bill. How are you? I'm doing well. Good. So well. All right. So we're going to do shop talk today on why we're more exhausted and less engaged. And Lord have mercy, the first part of that, I think you and I both kind of understand between work, the podcast, all the clubs, your dating life. It's just exhausting. You got a wife, yeah. What's that? I said, you're dating life. Oh, you're not calling Lisa exhausting.

No, Lisa, Lisa's not exhausting. Oh, she's a breath of fresh air at all times. Yes, and she would say the same. She was the person I'm dating in case she's listening. Yes, but Lisa might say the same about me or maybe not. It depends on the day probably. Yeah. Lisa and I are headed off to Wyoming to see her, I mean to Montana to see her all.

oldest. Oh, you forgot to let me know. Or you don't have any free time? I'm not going to have any free time. This is family time. No work. Sorry. But I plan on sleep under the heading of why we're more exhausted. We'll find out why we're more exhausted. But I plan on sleep until 930 or 10 every morning in Montana. It's cool at night. Look at your adult dreams. I know by adult dreams. Sleep. It's awesome, isn't it? So shop talk number 102. What's a 102? Nothing. There is something. No.

There's nothing that's 102. Yeah. One of two. Nope. Nothing. Yeah. You're speaking of the adult dreams of sleeping in. What's that?

You know, the former show I was a part of. He used to do this thing called shower thoughts, this one guy. Oh, boy. And he had one that's like, speaking of these adult dreams. He's like, the kid version of me would have thought I'd eat way more ice cream as an adult than I do today. All right. Shop talk number 102, which we have absolutely nothing for the numbers. So I hope to get an email about what we missed is while we're more exhausted and less engaged right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors.

Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tapped Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it.

Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84's big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you for finishing that sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.

Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When you listen to podcasts about AI and tech and the future of humanity, the hosts always act like they know what they're talking about and they are experts at everything. Here, the Nick Dick and Poll Show, we're not afraid to make me. mistakes. What Kugler did that I think was so unique.

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Sunset Gardens Twilight gazebo What's next Dead Man's Grove Mom, could you please try to be a little bit positive about this? From Kenya Barris, the visionary creator of Blackish, comes Big Age, an audible original about finding your way in life's next chapter. This audio comedy series follows a retired couple's reluctant relocation to Sunset Gardens, a Floridian senior community that is anything but

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There's a fire coming to this country, and it's going to burn out everything. Listen to Saigon on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, everybody, welcome back to the shop. Shop talk number 102, while we're more exhausted and less engaged. Okay, I'm going to talk about something that a lot of people feel right now, but don't always understand. Because if you ask most people, how are you doing?

You hear busy, overwhelmed, just trying to keep up. And it's not just a feeling. There's real data behind it. As a side note, when somebody ask you how is your weekend or how are you doing, they're really not asking for you to unload

all of your miseries on them. Just say fine. But anyway, you will hear, busy, overwhelmed, just trying to keep up. The kids are driving me crazy, all of that. but there really is data behind why you'll hear busy, overwhelmed, just trying to

kept up, the kids are driving me crazy, it works too much, blah, blah, blah. We're going to talk about some research that comes from the Association of Junior League International, which is a legitimate organization and partnership with Western Michigan University. If you don't know the Junior League, you should. They've been around since 1901. My grandmother was in the Junior League. when a woman in New York said, what if we organized women

to actually solve problems in their communities? And that idea spread. Today, there are 295 chapters across the country and beyond with roughly 125,000 members, which is exactly where an army of normal folks, service clubs are going. For over a century,

but we're going to do it in five years, this has been one of the largest pipelines for female civic leadership in America. these women who are working, raising families, caregiving, and still choosing to serve. Now, here's the important nuance. This study surveyed 2,300 women, many of them in Junior League, junior league members, but also other women who volunteered or have volunteered. So this isn't just theory.

It's coming from people who are actually in the middle of doing the work. We're caring more than ever. the average woman of the study reported holding about 3.2 roles at the same exact time, Lydia Rosencrantz, with some juggling up to eight. Think about that. Employee, parent, caregiver, spouse, volunteer, partner, and on top of that, 72% were actively volunteering, nearly 70% were working. So when people say they're overwhelmed, they're not exaggerating. The real driver of stress. Now, you think, the biggest issue is time. Too much to do, too many responsibilities, but the research found

something deeper. The biggest driver of stress was not workload. It was expectations. Questions like, what am I supposed to do? Am I doing enough? Am I doing it as well as I should? And here's the kicker. Many women said their own expectations were higher than what anyone else actually expected of them. So it's not, I have too much to do. It's, I have too much to do, and I'm trying to do all of it perfectly. So all this collides. The study dives into roll overload, too much on your plate, and roll conflict, everything happening at once. And people described it like this. It feels like my roles are too big at the same time. And when that happens, it doesn't just stay at busy. It It turns into feeling overwhelmed, burnout, physical issues like insomnia and elevated blood pressure, and even anxiety and depression.

And this is data. It's real. So what does this mean for service? Well, let's connect this to something we care about, volunteering, because here's the tension. 94% of these respondent women had volunteered in the past year. So people care. But when they ask why people don't volunteer, the top answers were lack of time, family responsibilities, and health or logistical barriers. In other words, life gets too full, and when that happens, service is the first thing to check off the list.

First thing to go. But here's the twist. This is the part that should make us really stop and think, because the same study found when people felt connected to others through volunteering, supported, by an organization that their time, their work actually mattered. They didn't burn out more. They actually volunteered more, had better mental well-being, and experienced less strain. So the thing people think they don't have time for is actually the things that help them the most. So what's going on?

It's not that people don't care, and it's certainly not that people are lazy. It's that the life we've built. Work is demanding. Home is demanding expectations are sky high, and then we treat service like, do it if you have extra time, but nobody has extra time. And so when service disappears, we lose more than help. Because when people stop showing up for each other, we don't just lose volunteers. We lose connection, perspective, community. The study showed that when strain increases, relationships suffer, people isolate, support systems weaken. That's bigger than volunteering. That's how we live. So what does work? Here's what's helped manage all of this. It's not complicated. It's real.

It's data. Setting boundaries, saying no, asking for help, letting go of perfection. And this one matters most. Staying connected to other people because connection turns pressure into purpose. So the study has taught us that while service and interacting with people and connection is the first thing we let go of, it's actually the anecdote to the very thing that makes us think we need to let go of it, which is the typical human conundrum that we oftentimes get wrong. That's good stuff. And interestingly, that's 23 or 400 or 500 women. who are serving answering these very questions. I have felt quite overwhelmed with my business, the House Remodel, coaching football.

I've got six projects going on here at work, and then the work I do with this podcast. But the truth is, every time I interview anybody, every time we bring a good story, every time I hear about the service club. Anytime you go coach football. I feel better. I genuinely feel better.

I feel less tired. I feel less exhausted. I feel less stressed. And I'm sure I'm a lot more fun for Lisa to be around and my employees. So these data points that the Junior League and Western Michigan University figured out actually ring very true to me in my life and they make a lot of sense. Especially for busy people, which is most of us, you can. always fill the time in some way. So you're going to, I mean, even just like me with my personal life, I used to do another job plus an army of normal folks. Now I'm just doing army normal folks

and I'm still working the same level, right? We can always fill the time. That's true. If you weren't doing these other things, you'd be working more on your business. Well, I would fill with something else. Yeah. So it's, we're always going to feel busy. But if we can do something that gives us energy, and I think another interesting part of that, too, is the human connection, which hopefully our service clubs can help with too. And I definitely feel it in the meetings that we've had so far people really enjoy meeting strangers and feeling the sense of community with other people and i think the study there which we've lost yeah and i think the study also talks about too like people also often don't feel like their service is meaningful like too often i mean i'm not ripping on food pantries

per se but just as an example like if people stock a shelf full of food it doesn't feel all that meaningful and that i'm not saying it's not meaningful right but you're not like interacting with a human being or you're not interacting with a set of 10 human beings doing something together. You're not impacting one child, right, in terms of you mentoring them. So it's also, I think, important to find how can we build connection with other people, do things as a group, and how can we make it feel really meaningful for people? I think that's true. And that's... And sometimes work is boring too, right? Not everything needs to be exciting, but I think if we're trying to change the country, we do need to get people feel more engaged and feel the meaning and feel

the connection. And they will feel better as a result. personally. So everybody, Shop Talk number 102, has a challenge. The next time you think I don't have time to help, ask a different question. Would this actually help me? Because the research is pretty clear. The right kind of service done in the right way with the right people, it doesn't drain you, it fuels you. Because at the end of the day, we're not trying to build a system where a few people do everything. We're trying to build a culture where normal folks doing what we can, together in community makes life better not only for the people you're trying to serve but for yourself and that's the way it all works for everyone thank you junior league thank you junior league thank you western

michigan everybody that is shop talk number 102 which we have absolutely nothing for that number if you enjoyed this episode please rate it review it share it on social share it with friends wake the kids phone the neighbors tell everybody about an army of normal folks you with suggestions episodes 104 to 106 because that's what we'll be recording our next round you know i hadn't asked for that we need suggestions for both guests for an army of normal folks we we would love to have suggestions for that although i have gotten a few of those by email in the last week i've been sent them to you i hope you're not ignoring these people alice no i need to book 52 of these things a year i'm reading every one of these things perfect and if you have ideas for shop talk email me anytime at bill at normal folks

dot us and I'll respond and if your idea is not stupid, we'll take it up. And if it is stupid, I'll be real nice about saying so. I don't think I've told anybody that that is stupid though. So we won't do that. What else do you want to do? Join the army at normal folks. us and subscribe to the podcast. Did I get it right? You're good, Bill. That was good. That's it. Let's wrap it up. Okay. That's shop talk number 102. I'm Bill Courtney. We will see you next week. On the look back at it podcast. For 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 is big to me.

I'm Sam Jay and I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it with our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s.

84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On paper, the three hosts of the Nick Dick and Poll show are geniuses.

We can explain how AI works, data centers, but there are certain things that we don't necessarily understand. Better version of Play Stupid Games, win Stupid Prizes. Yes. Which, by the way, wasn't Taylor Swift, who said that for the first time. I actually thought it was. I got that wrong. But hey, no one's perfect.

We're pretty close, though. Listen to the Nick Dick and Paul show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Saigon. The story of my family and of the country that shaped us. From IHeart Podcast, Saigon. You don't think I'm serious about a free Vietnam?

One city, a divided country, and the war that tore America apart. It's for Vietnam. They're pouring patril all over here. Freedom for Vietnam! There's a fire coming to this country, and it's going to burn out everything. Listen to Saigon on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now everybody over here? Oh, it's one of my other favorite places.

The Twilight Gazebo. Sunset Gardens, Twilight Gazebo. What's next? Dead Man's Grove? Mom, could you please try to be a little bit positive about this? From Kenya Barris, the visionary creator of Blackish, comes Big Age, an audible original about finding your way in life's next chapter. This audio comedy series follows a retired couple's reluctant relocation to Sunset. at Gardens, a Floridian senior community that is anything but relaxing. Starring comedy legends

Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer, and Nisi Nashvettes. Through its blend of outrageous comedy, Key Party Anyone, and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Go to audible.com slash big age series to start listening today.