An Army of Normal Folks - What the Barber Chair Taught Me About Asking for Help

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

For Shop Talk, we dive into yet another column from Andrew Peters. On the magic that happens when we ask for help. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, nice people. You're going to do this every week? Hello, nice people. This is Bill Courtney with Shop Talk. Welcome to the shop. It's good to be in, as long as you keep up this goofball act. Yeah, it's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks. This shop talk number 70.

You run a business goofing off like this? Listen, you've had me reading stuff and doing stuff now for four. and a half hours. I'm delirious. Okay. All right. Shop talk number 70. A couple weeks ago, I think, we did a... Just last week. No, because... Oh, you're right. Jeez. A couple weeks ago. Yeah. A couple weeks, though, we did one for... did something... Andrew Peters on his substack, which you can find at Andrew peters.substack.com. And it was about the standard. Today, it's about asking for help, which I can't wait to read to you because I have lots of thoughts about this. Remember we actually did another one on asking for help? Remember that data that Evan Pynberg shared?

We don't like doing it. But people we end up asking, they actually like end up doing it, so actually depriving other people have the opportunity to help. That's it. Depriving other people, the opportunity to help is the big part. We so often won't ask for help because we think we're. infringing on somebody or putting someone out but the truth is you're eliminating the opportunity for another person to actually do something for you so in a weird way but not asking for help if it's if it's a legitimate need for help and it's um it's uh uh if it's a legitimate need for

help and it's it's what's the word i'm looking for anyway by not ask somebody for help you're depriving someone of being able to serve. So it's kind of selfish sometimes. Anyway, this is not about that. This is another take on asking for help. It kind of is about that. Okay, well, it's not just about that. It's another take on ask for help.

And it's Andrew Peters, Shop Talk number 70, right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Ah, come on, why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient. Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon, ultra-light, ultra-powerful, and built for serious productivity, with Intel core ultra-processors, blazing speed, and AI-powered performance. It keeps up with your business, not the other way around.

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Listen to IVF disrupted, the kind body story, starting September 19 on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When news broke earlier this year that baby KJ, a newborn in Philadelphia, had successfully received the world's first personalized gene editing treatment, it represented a milestone for both researchers and patients. But there's a gripping tale of discovery behind this accomplishment and its creators. I'm Evan Ratliff, and together with biographer Wall We're delving into the story of Nobel Prize winner, Jennifer Doudna, the woman who's helped change the trajectory of humanity.

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we pulled back the curtain on a life built on devotion and deception. A man of God, Marcial Massiel, looked Elena in the eye and promised her a life of purpose within the Legion of Christ. My name is Elena Sada and this is my story. It's a story of how I learned to hide, to cry, to survive and eventually how I got out. This season on Sacred Scandal hear the full story from the woman who lived it. Witness the journey from devout follower to determine survivor as Elena exposes the man behind the cloth and the system that brought her.

protected him. Even the darkest secrets eventually find their way to the light. Listen to Secret Scandal, the mini secrets of Marcial Masiel as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get her podcasts. All right, everybody, welcome back. ShopTon number 70s. Ask for help. Andrew Peters in a substack, which you can find at andrew peters dot substack.com. Here we go. I started cutting hair in college, not because I was trained, but because I was broke, curious, and had a few brave friends. That's actually pretty funny. It began in the bathroom of Dodds Hall on the Miami University campus. I called it the bathroom barbershop. I wasn't technically allowed to run a business out of my dorm,

so I accepted mandatory donations from my clients. A pair of clippers, a desk chair, and the naive trust of guys who needed a cleanup before a date or first night at first run. I wasn't great at first, but I got better. And over time, something else showed up in those makeshift barbershop moments. Honesty. You aren't a lot with clippers in your hand. Guys open up when they know they're stuck in a chair for 20 minutes and can't make eye in contact. They tell you what's actually going on in their world. Or when they're getting pedicures like you. Well, that's also true. And I guess barbers and And bartenders are kind of similar, and that people just start talking to, I guess, they open up their lives to strangers because they happen to be a barber or bartender. But on pedicures, I typically just shut my eyes and fall asleep.

So I don't talk to anybody. Anyway, we'll pick up by Peter because Alex so rudely interrupted. Oh, come on. They tell you what's, here, excuse me for talking about. you're interrupting. All right. So they'll tell you what's actually going on in the world. Relationships, doubts, hopes. They haven't said it out loud yet. It's like therapy minus the couch. And I got hooked, not just on the craft of cutting hair, but on what happened in the chair. I've never stopped cutting. These days, I cut my friend's hair in my pantry room or garage. Some nights, it's for a big

meeting. Sometimes it's my daughter sitting still while I gently angle cut off their split ends. I cut the boy's hair on his son wakes lacrosse dream, mainly ensuring buzz cuts don't look like terminal diagnoses, and some of the high school toolers too. Usually right before big game, we crank music, talk trash, and pass the broom between cuts. It's part ritual, part refuge. The chair's still the same. So is what happens in it, which brings me to the gym. Five or six mornings a week, I meet up with A.K. B4, J.B31, and Dandy, a rag-tag pirate crew. For an early morning workout session, along with a few

other friends. Most days, we go to the CrossFit Cemetery Gym, but a couple of times a week, we flip the scenery, and we work out at Map Place or over at JB3-1s. My garage gym had good energy, different equipment, and just enough space to work. We'd bounce between the two spaces, mixing it up, depending on what we were working on. And over time, it wasn't just us using the space. My wife started hosting a Saturday morning boot camp, 14 women loud music full soon. My kids have gotten older. Teenagers now, high school athletes, they and their friends start lifting too. The garage became kind of a crossroads, park gym, park clubhouse, park community hangout. Sensei Steve even showed us how to execute a roundhouse kick

on Saturday night. It wasn't just mine anymore. It was ours. So we decided to expand it. not for more sheens or more gear, but to make more room for the people, for what the space had become. And when the extra equipment arrived, I considered taking the Peters family, try it in true method, gutted out yourself with no forethought, and consider how to do it easier after you're done, or I could have paid a crew to some set it up, but something in me said, don't do it this time. This one should be different.

So I asked the guys for help, and they showed up. There's something sacred about grown men building something together. something pretty rare it wasn't just labor it was laughter a shared meal problem solving standing back to admire a new cross member that signified progress it felt like being on a team again like being part of something i used to think that asking for help was a weakness that if i just worked harder i'd earn respect sometimes i still do but asking isn't a weakness it's an imitation it's how you let people in. It's how you remind yourself you're not meant to do this life alone. That gym buildout wasn't just a project. It was a reminder that people want to show up, that trust is built and shared effort.

And it struck me that what we built there, side by side, sweaty and sore, wasn't all that different from what I've been doing for years in a barber chair. In both spaces, people let their guard down. They talk. They pitch in. They laugh. They belong. The clippers, the weights. It's all just a What matters is that we're doing it together, that we're showing up for one another, not just with words, but with hands and presence. Everything good. Jim's, teams, friendship, businesses get better when you stop trying to do it all yourself. So that's what I'm sitting with this week. Ask for help, not because you can't do it alone, but because it's better when you don't.

That's beautiful. That's well written. That's that gum good. He's a good writer. And it isn't just about what we talked about at the top. It's about something deeper, which is by asking for help, you create a small community of people that grow together, work together, learn together, and share together. And I think it's interesting how he started with why he cut hair in the first place to make money. But why he continues to cut hair is because the camaraderie, the humanity, the conversation, all of it.

and by asking for help and bringing somebody into your orbit, you attain the same things. And best of all, I say summarized, it's so true. We're not meant to go through this life alone. And by asking for help, you are no longer solo. It's good stuff. Do you have any thoughts? I mean, the camaraderie have often thought about. Like, I once worked on a political campaign, and, like, for a year, you were just, like, live in life.

it was a governor's race with like these 50 people. And it's such a unique experience that I think you've probably experienced it with football and obviously with Sigma Nu 2 or for people who've, you know, served in the military. There's just this brotherhood that's unlike anything else. It's true. And the thing is you can't engage in that kind of activity and be successful without asking people on that team for help. You just can't. You won't be successful.

also oftentimes think maybe it's our ego sometimes that keeps us from asking for help but I genuinely believe a lot of times people don't ask for help is they just are afraid they're inconvenience in someone else and the weird thing is the very person you're asking for help that you think you may be inconveniencing they are in need of that connectivity just as much as you are we all have very similar goals, fears, inhibitions, and dreams, and just because you're the one that's in need of help, this time doesn't mean you're not going to be asked, the one that's asked next time. And all the growth that can come from, from all of that is really important.

So you heard the line, if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go a far go together. That's it. The other thing I think about with all this, too, is so many of our stories touch on. And the thing is just the vehicle. So a recent episode with 901 Pop, Pedals of Purpose, you know, flowers are the vehicle to bring it to nursing homes and you form relationships with these people. It's not really about the- That's a really great point. About the flowers at the end of the day. It's about the relationship.

Flowers are just the vehicle. The gym is the vehicle, right? In his case, the barbershop is the vehicle. But it's not really about that. And then the point you'll often make to, you know, if we're building beds for kids without them or bringing flowers to people. no one gives a crap what your politics are no one cares what your religion is we are just human beings in this thing together called life and um yeah that's what service and asking for help can do too yeah i think that's called an army normal folks interesting all right everybody

shop talk number 70 ask for help so i'm going to do it now at bill at normal folks not us, I'm asking you for help. Send me ideas of things for shop talk or send me people's stories that you think would be good for an army and normal folks. Beautiful writing like this? Beautiful writing like this? Yeah, beautiful writing like this. That's great too. I'm also going to ask you for help. Would you please subscribe to the podcast that helps our numbers. And as our numbers grow, so too does our ability to reach people. And the more people reach, the more impact we can have. So we are asking you to subscribe to the podcast. We are asking you to reach out to me with good ideas. We're asking you to rate and review the podcast, but only if you really

liked it because we want good ratings. And what else are we asking for? That's enough for today. You don't want to ask too much. Really? What about joining the... Well, this will have already happened. I've actually not updated you on this yet. Oh. But as an example, so our event was spiked. Sparky Reardon will have happened when this airs. But there's 218 people RSVP for it. That's fantastic. Yeah. But it had me thinking, too.

We've kind of talked about this before. If there's communities where you can get 300 people, you know, sign up in your community to do a live podcast recording, we could do that in your community too and bring the podcast message there. There you go. We're asking for that. There's kind of local legends like Sparky that are just so beloved in your community. It would be a great way to pay tribute to them, too. See? So much you can do.

Um, ask for help. Uh, that shop talk number 70. Until we see you next week, do what you can. We'll see you next week. Uh, come on. Oh, come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon, ultra-light, ultra-powerful, and built for serious productivity, with Intel Core Ultra processors, blazing speed, and AI-powered performance. It keeps up with your business, not the other way around. Whoa, this thing moves. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech search at Lenovo.com. Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 Carbon,

powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, so you can work, create, and boost productivity all online. One device. Introducing IVF disrupted, the kind body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients.

You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When news broke earlier this year that baby KJ, a newborn in Philadelphia, had successfully received the world's first personalized gene editing treatment, it represented a milestone for both researchers and patients. But there's a gripping tale of discovery behind this accomplishment and its creators.

I'm Evan Ratliff, and together with biographer Walter Isaacson, we're delving into the story of Nobel Prize winner Jennifer Dowdna, the woman who's helped change the trajectory of humanity. Listen to Aunt CRISPR, the story of Jennifer Dowdna with Walter Isaacson. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sacred Scandal is back, the hit True Crime podcast that uncovers hidden truths and shattered faith. For 19 years, Elena Sada was a nun for the Legion of Christ. This season, she's telling her story.

When I first joined the Legion of Christ, I felt chosen. I was 19 years old when Marcia and Masel, the leader of the Legionaries, looked me in the eye and told me I had a calling. Surviving meant hiding, escaping took courage, risking everything. to tell her truth. Listen to Sacred Scandal, the many secrets of Marseal-Masio, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there.

The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe, save my life. twice. Welcome to season two of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.