An Army of Normal Folks - When Your Brother Is Your Enemy

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

On this episode of Shop Talk, Coach Bill responds to an Army member's question about how to heal and hopefully reconcile with his brother. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, Shop Talk number 28. It's Bill Courtney with An Army of Normal, folks. And I don't have a bell. It's because we're recording these two Shop Talks back to back. Whatever. Now we just went behind the curtain again. Yeah, I guess we did. But the point is, will you please ring the bell?

We can just leave it here. It could just stay here. I will, I will. Okay. Shop Talk number 28. It will be the last one without a bell. Even when a guest sends us a bell. I feel so bad. Okay. Shop talk number 28. Um, it's actually one that's really near and dear to my heart. And because of the content, I'm not going to say the name of the listener, the sentence to us. But before

we go to the title, I'm going to read it. So during the commercial break, you can think about it. Hey, Bill. I just listened to another great shop talk, which made me think of another possible shop talk idea that I wanted to send to you. The question is, why are we so quick to write people off and out of our lives? I've been going through this unwelcome ordeal for the last few years with my brother because I guess we see each other as enemies. I would like to say I'm fine with it personally, but I know it's devastating to my mom. But man, my pride gets in the way of reaching out

and trying for a possible reconciliation. I know my situation isn't rare and heard of in our seemingly divided country and world, but maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us could find helpful for ourselves as or as mediators for others. God bless you and your families, signed the listener. So that's terrible that social and oftentimes political and media driven narratives break up families and brothers and friendships talked about a lot on shop talk but specifically our listener here says maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us could find helpful for

ourselves or as mediators for others and I'm going to humbly make a suggestion on this stop talk. So, shot talk number 29, how to heal right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Is your country falling apart? Feeling tired, depressed, a little bit revolutionary? Consider this, start your own country. I planted the flag. I just kind of looked out of like, this is mine.

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All right, everybody. Welcome back to Shop Talk Number 29, Bill Courtney, How to Heal. So in this particular episode, you heard the letter and it's about a brother who's got unreconciled differences with his brother and it hurts him but he knows it's devastating for his mom and he admits readily that his ego is standing in the way. I just want to say this. Every night when I go to bed I do pray and I pray for forgiveness of my sins and the reason is I'm failed. I'm a sinner. I do things every day that I look back on and I wish I hadn't done I say things or act in a way that I would like to think I wouldn't but I do and

I think things that I shouldn't. And really it's because that's how we humans are. We're failed. We have issues and we act out on those issues. And a lot of it sometimes has to do with our own insecurities or even our ego or our over inflated view of ourselves or our under flated view of others who don't necessarily act like us, think like us or any of those things. And so how do I become redeemed from that. And personally, it's for me. I pray. And I pray to who I think is the creator of the universe. And what happens in my faith is that you get to a place once you feel like you have a good enough relationship with your Creator that when you

ask for forgiveness, you ask for redemption so that you can kind of wash away the ugliness of what you created in your own life so that you can wake up refreshed and anew the following you begin to expect that forgiveness. You know it's a promise, so you take it. But here's the thing, if as a faithful person I hold grudges against another person, what kind of hypocrite would I be to hold a grudge when I expect and accept forgiveness for what I've done wrong from who I think is the creator and the ruler of the universe and then turn around and don't give that same redemption, grace and forgiveness to another failed human being? What kind of hypocrite am I? What forgiveness do I deserve? What redemption do I deserve if I'm going to take that but be unwilling to offer it?

So it is with this sense of redemption and grace that I accept, expect, and I'm so eternally grateful for that I have an expectation, I think, to then offer to someone else who has the same demons and issues going on in their lives that I do. I'm fine with this rift with my brother personally, but I know it's devastating to my mom. But man, my pride gets in the way of reaching out for a possible reconciliation. I know my situation isn't rare and heard of in our seemingly divided country world, but maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us could find helpful for our lives or as mediators for others. I just say this.

If you've ever been forgiven in your life by a friend, by a family member, or by your God, and you've accepted that redemption, that grace, that forgiveness and you've allowed yourself to take the yoke of that misery off your own shoulders and walk a little lighter and feel a little better because of the forgiveness that was given to you. What kind of butt head must you be not to reach out and offer it to another? you be not to reach out and offer it to another. You can't do that. Don't be a hypocrite. You have to give what you receive. I mean we're always talking about an army of normal folks and and and every one of our guests will tell you they get 50 times more out of the work they put into their communities for themselves. They get 50 times more out of it work they put into their communities for themselves.

They get 50 times more out of it than what they put into it. You know, kind of similarly or parallelly, I think forgiveness is more important for the forgiver than the forgiven because you get rid of all of that anxiety. You get rid of all that anger once you forgive somebody who's wronged you. So, what's the healing process? What's the journey? Pick up the phone. Call your brother. Ask forgiveness for whatever you've done wrong. Give grace and redemption.

And for goodness sakes, when you're rift with another person hurt somebody else who's not even involved in the rift, like your mother, who raised you, who gave you birth, who gave you life, who gave you everything she'd possibly give you, who now mourns because her two brothers can't get along? Is that even close to right? Yeah, your ego's in the way of your own happiness, your ego's in the way of your brother's happiness,

but your ego's in the way of your mom's happiness and probably other people's happiness around you. Find grace, find redemption, find forgiveness, and offer it up to another failed human being who deserves it just as much as you do. I think as we think about the on a larger scale our country and the divisions that have happened because of our politics and our media that I talk about often to think that we can't even offer somebody else enough grace to hear their side of the story, to hear their perspective. And we're so caught up in our own selfish self-interest and egos that we're unwilling to redeem one another by simply saying, I'm sorry, by simply reaching out, listen to another person's perspective,

by considering that they have pain just like we have pain, and offering grace and forgiveness just like my Lord does for me every single night so I can face the day fresh. Let's not be hypocritical folks. If we want grace and we want to be forgiven, we've got to offer grace and have a forgiving heart. And in doing so, we can repair lots of things that are painful and fix a lot of what's broken. So that is Shop Talk number 29 and Mr. Listener, I hope you'll hear this and pick up the phone to call your brother and then call your mom and tell your lover. Thanks for

joining us. If anybody has any ideas for Chop Talk, again, email them as you've just heard. If I think I have something to offer, we will respond. Thanks to our producer, Ironlight Labs. I'm Bill Courtney. We'll see you next week. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests

and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next

Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also gonna have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlamagne the God. We're gonna take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about?

Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez, was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Jess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. But hurry, submissions close on December 8th. Hey, you've been doing all that talking, it's time to get rewarded for it. Submit your podcast today at iHeart.com slash podcast awards. That's iHeart.com slash podcast awards.