An Old Timey Podcast - 110: Did William Howard Taft Get Stuck In A Bathtub?

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

We’ve all heard the story. President William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub! A bunch of dudes had to yank him out!! They replaced the old bathtub with a new one, BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD FOUR WORKING MEN!!!…except did he *actually* get stuck in the tub? In this episode, we do a deep dive into how this story got started and how it eventually got stuck in the bathtub of our collective imaginations.Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from: “Popular Lore Claims That William Howard Taft Got Stuck in a Bathtub. New Research Sheds Light on the Legend’s Forgotten Origins” by Howard Dorre for Smithsonian“Taft bathtub is world’s largest,” The Altoona Times, Jan. 27, 1909“President Taft’s giant, bathtub, Woodrow Wilson’s wife,” by Gwen Bagni and Paul Dubov for The San Francisco Examiner, Jan. 23, 1979“Chief justice, not president, was William Howard Taft’s dream job,” by Erick Trickey for Smithsonian Magazine “William Howard Taft is still stuck in the tub,” Alexis Coe by The New York Times“50 years on the Ol’ Mississip’” by Lewis R. Freeman for American Illustrated Magazine, Volume 107, 1929 “Backstairs at the White House,” by Movie Lovers on YouTube“Taft stuck in phone booth,” The Jeffersonian, Aug. 1, 1908“Taft opens great tunnel,” New York Herald, Sept. 24, 1909Are you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts!Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm Normie C. And on this episode, I'll be talking about President William Howard Taft, not getting stuck in a bathtub. Oh. Yeah. The rumors aren't true? We've been lied to, sheeple. Damn. Hate to see it. No one's more disappointed than I am. You were really hoping it was true? Listen, I've got a whole intro written out about my relationship with this fun fact. It's heartbreaking. We'll laugh, we'll cry.

We'll get to it. But first, we're back, baby. We're back. We're back from break. Vacation's over. I know you missed us. I know you just had a terrible month of June without us, but we're back, baby. Don't worry.

Mommy and Daddy are home. That's right. We are back. That was disgusting. I'm sorry. I regret that. No, we're mommy and daddy. That's fine.

Okay. Do you have a Patreon plug? Well, first of all, hello YouTube. Oh, yeah. Hi. Hi. This is the first episode that we're on YouTube officially. Yeah, so everyone, well, no, you should take it away, Norm.

Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah. You got to trust your co-host. Okay. Folks, we are on YouTube. Hello. Hello. This is the video version of an old-timey podcast.

Oh my God, so far this sucks, Norm. Well, hang on. Now, you might be thinking, there's got to be more to this. There is. If you join our Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast, for just $5 a month, you get access to our entire back catalog of bonus episodes, and those episodes have full video and no ads. And if you sign up at the $10 level, if you become a pig butter investor,

you get full video ad-free a day early and with our special segment at the end of each episode, the Slop, where we banter about anything. And today we're going to talk about Disney World. Folks, are we Disney adults? Stay tuned. If you're on Patreon. If you're not on Patreon, you'll just never know, baby.

I converted Kristen while at Disney World. I think she's full Disney Adult now. My God, it was, I never want to be known as a Disney adult, first of all. So I find it offensive that you would even put my name close to that. But boy, did I have fun. Kristen, I think there's a spectrum for Disney adults. Okay, all right. So you're kind of, you know, maybe on the lower end of the spectrum.

Right, right, okay, great. But it happened, you know, I dunked Kristen into the water at the Wilderness Lodge. She was converted into a Disney adult. Uh-huh. Hallelujah. Anyway, let's get into the episode. But yeah, if you're listening to this, just to circle back to YouTube. We are on YouTube now.

Enjoy our episodes. Bye. Okay. Okay. Boy, I really needed to say that, didn't I? Well, you really sold it. Yeah. First, we're starting off with a confession, which is weird because you just talked about baptism.

This is going to be a very religious episode, okay? Folks, I adore a fun fact. And from a very, very young age, I established a strange love for fun facts about American presidents. I bet many of them are completely made up. Shut up, Norm. probably are. This could be a whole series. Oh, yeah, for sure. Things I thought I knew about American presidents. For decades, my absolute hands-down, most favorite fun fact was about President William Howard Taft. Of course, William Howard Taft has the distinction of being the only person to serve

as both president of these United States and as a justice on the Supreme Court. Or as we say it on this podcast. Supreme Come. And he thought it was a higher honor than president being Chief Justice.

Norm, keep your fun facts out of this episode. But yes, it's true. He did. But folks, is that

the fun fact that captured my imagination as a young child? Hit me with a hell no, Norm. Hell no,

no, hell to the no, no. Hell to the no. No, the piece of trivia that I loved was at one time President William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub and then had it replaced with a bathtub that was big enough to hold four working men. Norm, I first read that fact in a presidential fact book that I loved as a child. and I specifically remember four working men because I had to ask my dad what that meant and boy was my mind-blown when he was like,

these were big men. Big, strapping boys. Well, that's a big bathtub. And even though, literally none of you asked, I'll have you know that the one thing I love more than learning fun facts about presidents is plopping myself into a vat of hot water. For years, I would get in.

my bathtub, often wishing that I was surrounded by four working men. Wait a second. Wait a minute. And think fondly of my peer, President William Howard Taft. But then, tragedy struck when some fun sucker informed me that the story of William Howard Taft getting stuck in the White House bathtub was totally made up, man. My favorite fun fact wasn't even a fact. I mean, it kind of changes your whole life. It ruins it, really. I had a good life until that point.

I was devastated. And perhaps those of you listening are being devastated right in this moment. Because the tale had legs, baby. Over the decades, it has been told to us in multiple books and newspapers and trivia nights. It was even mentioned in a 1979 miniseries. A mini-series! What miniseries? Don't you think I'm going to get to it?

Oh. You thought a miniseries couldn't lie to us. I'm just so excited. I want to know everything right now. So on today's episode, Norm, we'll do a deep dive into how this story got started and how it stuck in the bathtub of our collective imaginations. But first, a warning. This deep dive is going to involve a heaping helping of fat phobia folks.

And if you hear that, and like a pirate, you say to yourself, well that might trigger me timbers. We'll see you in next week's episode, which I have not written yet, but I'm like 99% sure, will not involve all of the American people talking about a soapy naked dude being pride out of the bathtub. Hey, we have read some old-timey newspaper articles with tons of fat phobia.

Do you remember the Robert Smalls episode? They said he... Oh, that reporter was so mean to him. Called him like a planet in the solar system. Good grief. Old-time and journalists were brutal. Brutal. Okay, here we go.

Norm, first of all, what's your relationship with this fun fact? Did you hear it? I remember hearing it, and I thought, wow, that is embarrassing for him. But as I got older and I studied history, I thought there's no way that's true. I became very skeptical of that fun fact. Yeah, yeah, me too. I was also very skeptical, and I barely believed it. And I wasn't devastated when I was like 35.

I haven't found anyone's made up. William Howard Taft was a relatively low-key, one-term president, who later in life became a judge on the Supreme Court. As president, he supported the constitutional amendment for income taxes. He filed a bunch of antitrust lawsuits. He promoted trade. Some historians argue that he doesn't get the credit or thoughtful analysis that he deserves. And we're going to change that today. In this one episode.

That's right. No, not really. He did a lot in his lifetime. Some of it good. Some of it shitty. And those same historians are all frankly a little peaved at the rest of us for only remembering that wild bathtub rumor. A rumor that, by the way, only surfaced decades after his presidency ended. Oh. You didn't know that, did you? I didn't. But why did this happen? Probably because just like Americans in the early 1900s, we're all a bunch of freaks who can't stop focusing on William Howard Taft's hot bod. So William Howard Taft was and is our largest president in American history. When he entered the public eye, people just could not get over that.

How big was he? So he was over 300 pounds. Okay. And I've made a decision here to not give really specific stats. I read a while back that, for one thing, that can be really tough for people with disordered eating when you're like, provide specific stats on height and weight. But my bigger thing is that we're going to see in this story that journalists just wrote all kinds of wild shit about this guy's weight and his body. and they threw all kinds of facts and figures out there. And I'm like, how many of you were right next to him on a scale?

I'm guessing none of you. So I saw some different numbers, over 300 pounds. Okay. He was a big boy. This is a big boy. We call him a bigger boy. Right. And you have to say it in that weird accent.

I'm sorry, that's just the law. People made jokes about his size. They gawked at him. Cartoonists were cruel to him. people told fantastical, ridiculous stories about his body. In 1908, when he was running for president, a report came out of New Haven, Connecticut, claiming that William Howard Taft was so big!

How big was he? Boy, I thought you weren't going to come through for me, Norm. He was so big that he got stuck in a phone booth. Oh, so that was like the OG, fun fact of William Howard Taft. I'm sorry, folks. If you're watching on YouTube, you just saw my eyelash attack me in real time. I'm sorry, yes. Oh, my God, I'm still under attack, folks.

Are you okay over there? You know, in a way, I feel like a president who's just, you know, battle-torn, dealing with some real tough shit here. Okay, here we go. If you had Secret Service, they would swarm you as the eyelash attack to. And they would attack my false lashes. The lone source for that article about the phone booth. was an unnamed electrician who claimed that presidential candidate William Howard Taft had entered a phone booth at a local hotel, only to get stuck inside of it, quote, hard and fast. What does that mean?

That means he was not moving. Hard and fast? Yeah. Well, fast, so like, like he immediately entered and got stuck. Is that what they mean? I don't think that's what that means. Haven't you ever heard hard and fast? I guess I guess I'm taking it too literally.

He quickly ran into the phone booth. That's what I'm imagining. He like sprints into the phone booth and it shuts and he's stuck. And he became a rock hard, hard, unity with that phone booth. Yeah. What does Hard and Fast mean? He was just really in there, Norm.

That's what you need to know. Sure. But he really wasn't, though. We'll get to that. First, I've got to give you this man's bullshit story. Okay. Employees from the telephone company and a bunch of local carpenters were all called upon and they rushed to the scene with saws and hammers where they all hacked and sawed away in an effort to get big old William Howard Taft free from that totally normal-sized phone booth. This is all very real. The report concluded by saying that in the end, after the telephone booth was completely destroyed, the phone company constructed a new massive telephone booth in its place, one big enough to accommodate William Howard Tafford.

It's so stupid. It's like a cartoon. It is such bullshit. First of all, give me a break. William Howard Taft was a big dude. He knew he was a big dude. You're telling me that if you're a big dude and you start to go into a phone booth and you're like, uh-oh, this is a tight squeeze.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go in even harder and I'm going to get my entire body into this. I got to make this phone call. Yeah, wouldn't you? I mean, come on, man. Yeah, also, this is easily verifiable. If what they say is true, where is the new massive phone booth they built? Also, if you had to call in all the carpenters, a bunch of telephone employees, and this is all happening, I'm assuming, in a fairly public area, this is a hotel's phone booth.

You're telling me, there are no other witnesses. We've just got this one unnamed electrician is our sole source. get out of here. All the king's horses and all the king's men. Could not get William Howard tapped out of the phone booth again. Well done, Norm. Thank you. That was off the dome, by the way.

A brilliant man. In other words, what I'm trying to tell you is that long before we all came to believe that the president got stuck in the White House bathtub, there was already a willingness by the press to print thinly sourced, almost certainly fabricated stories about William Howard Taft's body and the wacky situations he found himself in. It was tough being in the public eye and having his weight central to so many interactions and discussions. So, like most people would, he made a lot of self-deprecating jokes about his weight.

And people seemed to appreciate his sense of humor. But it wasn't easy for him. He was a stress eater. and as president he put on more weight, which led to, if you can believe it, even more public scrutiny. Are you ready for an even more horrifying story? Yeah, let's hear it. So here's a really bad story. In 1909, during his first year as president, William Howard Taft stayed at the Glenwood Springs Hotel in Glenwood Springs, Colorado.

The hotel is still standing. It's now called the Hotel Colorado. Oh, do they have a plaque? I'm sure they do. It looks like a gorgeous place. I'm going to have you Google it in a minute. Okay, okay. So just, you know, keep your pants on.

I'll calm down. I'm sorry. By that point, the hotel had been around for several years, and it had already made a name for itself as an elite place to stay for the fancy people. But the hotel's management wanted to kick it up a notch. So when the president arrived, the reception committee presented him with an itinerary. One that was, for the most part, totally normal, except for one thing. they were like, hey, you know, we're known for our hot springs, and it'd be a shame if you came all this way and didn't take a dip in the hot springs.

So we've arranged some time for you to go down in front of everyone in your swimsuit and just hop in. What? Hey, great news, great news. This will all be totally public. Don't worry, I know you don't want this to be private. You can take a dip in front of everyone. press, other politicians, friends, strangers, you name it the works. Literally anyone can witness this event.

Oh, oh, what's that? You didn't bring a swimsuit? Oh, don't worry, my friend, we thought long and hard about your body, and we made you this custom suit to wear in front of everybody. What? You're welcome. You're welcome. By the way, everyone's going to love seeing you in that water.

Wait a minute. They're not going to give the president a private hot spring. He's going to get in the hot spring for everyone to see. Well, I don't know that you can really give someone a private hot spring. When he's visiting, give the man some privacy. What would be the downside of that for the hotel? The downside of giving him a private hot spring? Yeah.

Well, they want the publicity. They want people to come to the hotel and check out William Howard Taft, right? Yeah. So if he enjoys a private, normal moment, then there might not be pictures. And people won't gawk at him and they won't get all the publicity and what good is that? Yeah. I mean, there's got to be a middle ground here.

No, no. Are you nuts of a middle ground? Yeah, no. Well, can they get a photo of him like, hey, eat this shit pie or eat a regular pie? Oh, oh, we don't agree. Okay, then we'll find a middle ground. It's going to be half shit mixed in. No, I'm saying.

What I'm saying is, if they want some publicity that William Howard Taft came to their hotel, get a picture of him, you know, signing the guest book or something. Snoose fast, big deal. They had elite people coming all the time. You know what they didn't have? A very large president in his undies in front of everybody. This is getting a little weird. We want to see you naked. This was a clear attempt to create a public.

spectacle and draw attention to his visit. It was super weird on their part. And William Howard Taft was no dummy. He clocked it immediately. And in the most diplomatic way, told them to take their custom-made bathing suit and shove it. According to the hotel's website, he turned them down by saying, I found it much better for a man of my size not to bathe in public. That's that self-deprecating kind of humor, right?

Yeah. More on that in a minute. I want to read you a newspaper article that came out from that time period, and it went into more detail. It reported that the president told the hotel staff, quote, The last time I remember bathing in public was on the eastern seashore. I happened to hear a conversation between two men who had seen me pass. One said to the other that if he was as fat as that man, he would bathe in private. So to me, this is the most perfect response because they're being sort of.

so weird and they're not coming out and saying hey hey we want you to do this because you're fat and everyone's going to look at you because you're fat you know they are relying on that part being silent right and him being too uncomfortable to just call a spade a spade and so maybe he'll do it just because what's his alternative but he's the damn president he takes it head on and he just says, oh, oh, you know what? I'm not going to do that because I'm fat. Don't know if you notice. I'm fat, so I'm not going to do that.

And people look at me and judge me and talk shit about me. So I'm not going to do that for that reason. And then, you know, what are they going to say back? Yeah, that's fair. But, you know, William Howard Taft, dude, you're the president. He'd be like, I'm sending in federal troops to take over this hotel. I'm seizing all of your assets. The IRS will investigate you completely.

He can get some good revenge. on this hotel for trying to publicly shame him. If he's going to do that with everyone who fat shamed him, there'd be no one left in America, okay? Everyone would be locked up. But Norm, this isn't a story about people being purvey toward the president, although it is refreshing to see that role reversal.

It's a story about how that rumor about him getting stuck in a bathtub took hold of our collective imaginations. And I'd like to posit that it started like most rumors do. You'd like to what? Pause it. Pause it? P-O-S-I-T. You want to take a break from recording?

What? You want to pause it? Are you, are you, shut up? Oh, shut up. You want to pause? Pause the podcast. Are you joking? Yes, I'm joking.

Norm, as punishment, I have made you a custom-made bathing suit. I don't know how to sew, so I hope it stays on tight. I've been working on my comedy over the break. I think it's really paying off. Oh, wow. Took some local classes At the community center Maybe you too should take July off as well

Yep Go ahead and take the rest of the year off Well I know you were obsessed with this as a kid You were always thinking about William Howard Taft Stuck in that bathtub Constantly Couldn't get your mind off of it I couldn't focus on academics

Social skills any of that Because I was so busy thinking about the president In the bathtub That's right Parents took you to a therapist You saw ink blots and all you saw was William Howard Taft in a bathtub. Is that not normal?

He said, that's the pleasant in the bathtub. Oh. So here's the kernel of truth. It's true that William Howard Taft was a big dude, and it's true that when he was president, a large bathtub was constructed for him. And it's also true that when that happened, he created a hashtag viral moment.

Oh. Okay. Do you know the photo I'm about to talk about? Uh, no. Hang on. Okay, I want you to Google William Howard Taft bathtub. Okay. William Howard Taft bathtub.

It's the first image that comes up. Okay, yes, I have the picture pulled up. This is the photo that many of us associate with that famous claim that William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub. It ran in newspapers all across the country. It's a photo of four fully dressed men. relaxing together in a very roomy bathtub. It's a memorable image. The tub is seven feet long, nearly four feet wide.

It weighs a thousand pounds. And I don't mean to go too deep here. But if you'll look closely at that image, Norman, you'll see that three of the men are quite happy in that tub. But one of them, the man in the front left, is staring at the camera with a haunted look in his gaze. Yeah, he doesn't look happy. What's your reaction to this photo?

Have you seen it before? I don't think I've seen this photo before. What? Mm-mm. Yeah, so I guess this is, it gives kind of like an impression of how big the bathtub was, I guess. Kind of, I guess. Yeah, four working men are in it, and it's clearly roomy. They've got room to swim around.

Yeah, I mean, this is, it's like a little hot tub almost. Yeah. Boy, do I. It's like that little Costco hot tub we got. The photo ran and came. countless newspapers under the headline, Taft bathtub is world's largest. Okay, well, I don't know about that.

I mean, it looks like a big bathtub, but world's largest? Here's the thing. It's definitely a big bathtub, but give me a freaking break. Have you been to all the bathrooms in all the world? I don't think you have. It's on my bucket list. The accompanying article explained that the bathtub in question had been made for William Howard Taft's

forthcoming voyage on the battleship North Carolina. It had been made specifically for his comfort and that there was no reason it might not eventually find its way to the White House where he could enjoy it full time. And because this article was evidently written by the same people who wrote us weekly

headlines in 2006, they described the tub as, quote, pond-like and, quote, Taft size. pond like Yeah, give me a break It's not that big No

Yeah The photo really stuck with people Suddenly everyone had an image Of the president's large bathtub Which he used for his body Which was all so big Oh my God William Howard Taft finished out his first term

As president And he wanted four more years But in his first term He really pissed off Some of his fellow Republicans The progressives didn't think he was progressive enough. So his old friend Teddy Roosevelt formed his own political party, and he ran for president against William Howard Taft.

Bull moose. Yep. Big mistake. Mm-hmm. That's a moose with regrets. Together they split the Republican vote. And the Democratic candidate, Woodrow Wilson, won the election. My man.

Oh, really? Your man? Absolutely not. Okay, because everything turned out great because the only thing that that dude loved more than racial segregation was telling women, are you sure you want to vote? Are you sure, though? Because if you're asking, just because you want the sticker, I'm going to keep saying no to you. Listen, ladies, voting's not cool or fun. Uh-uh. All right? You don't want it. You don't want this. William Howard Taft, the sitting president, finished third in that election.

Ugh. He was embarrassed and, if I may say, a little over the top. He later called his defeat, quote, not only a landslide, but a tidal wave and Holocaust, all rolled into one general cataclysm. He said the word holocaust? I'm afraid so, Norm. When did he say that? Well, Norm, I don't know the exact date of this. Okay.

I just thought that, I thought the word Holocaust was. created during World War 2, but maybe I'm... No, fun fact, it was created for when William... Shut up, no, it wasn't. Wouldro Wilson feed him so badly. Future topic?

Creation of the word Holocaust? Boy, that'll be a bang of an episode. I guess I don't know where that word comes from, or... I don't know anything, folks, but here I am hosting a history podcast. Can we agree, though, that this is a bit much? It's pretty dramatic. Uh-huh.

Yeah, but he goes on to become... Chief Justice, right? Well, yeah. Yeah. Which, I'm guessing he decided was not a landslide but a tidal wave and Holocaust all rolled into one general cataclysm. I mean, that is, now I'm thinking more about it. That is a lot. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Well, it's also proof that third parties just never work out. Mm-mm. We are, sadly, a two-party country political system, whatever we call it. Norm, you could have summed up that whole thing by just doing my fun moose. sound. That sound like the moose was... What?

Let's move on. Okay. William Howard Taft died a few decades later in 1930. And it was only then, nearly two decades after his presidency was over, that the bathtub rumor started a swirling. For a long time, historians traced the rumor back to a memoir written by a White House staffer. But earlier this year, a writer for Smithsonian Magazine traced it back even further to what is believed to be its original source, a 1929 article in American Illustrated magazine.

It was written by a guy named Lewis Freeman. He was a writer and an adventurer, and he was one of those guys who wrote all about his travels. He was the original travel blogger. Gotcha. For that particular article, he wrote about his adventures on the Mississippi River. He talked about staying on board a steamboat called the oleander. What? This guy's such a phony. What? Mark Twain already did that. Come on. What do you mean?

Oh, he's... Mark Twain did it, so now we know one else can write about it? Mark Twain, Mississippi River, Steamboat. Give me a break. Been there, done that. I bet you're mad at Steamboat Willie, too. No, he's cool. Okay. As a Disney adult, Steamboat Willie is basically a deity, you know.

Oh, my. Is it deity or deity? I don't know, but once again, you're, you're, you're, bringing the religion into this podcast, and I'm ready to convert some people. The oleander was a somewhat well-known ship. In 1909, President William Howard Taft had famously stayed in it for five nights during a tour of the United States. But that's not to say that it was like a real nice boat or anything. It was a service vessel that had been built to maintain lights along the river. But obviously, when the crew of the oleander had learned that they'd be hosting

the president, they made several renovations to have. accommodate him. And now, two decades later, when our boy Lewis got on board the oleander, the captain of the ship told him, hey, you can stay in our guest cabin. That's where William Howard Taft stayed. Oh, yeah. And Lewis was just thrilled. He was so cool. He went to the guest cabin, and boy, was he impressed. The room was way bigger than he expected. And the furniture was big too. It had a massive bed for big sleeping. And it had massive chairs for like big butts. And, you know, just William Hatter-Tafside stuff.

This is like the giant world in Super Mario Brothers 3. We're like, the Gumbas are huge. The Kupa Troopers are huge. The pal blocks are huge. It's a ton of fun. Norm, I'm trying my damnedest to make this a cool podcast. Okay, you can't keep bringing your gaming historian stuff in here. We got a lot of gamers.

We got a lot of gaming history. I was listening. And they will all agree with me that the greatest world in Super Mario Bros. Three is World Four, where everything is giant. I do know that one, actually. Oh, really? Yeah, I have one of those. You know what?

You're not dragging me into this conversation. Come on. What do you want to hear it? What did you mean? I'm going to keep going with my story. Okay. I had a Super Mario All-Stars game that had like the smash hits from all the stuff, and it had that level in it.

Yes. I would have never risen to that level on my own with my skills. So that's how I know about that. Okay. So, you know, he's just like, oh my gosh, this room is so big. Whoa. But the next morning, when Lewis entered the guest cabin's private bathroom, he was like, is this a bathtub for ants?

He wrote that the bathtub was, quote, something less than a boys-sized bathtub. A boys' boys' size. You know how we have our bathtubs separated. It's so expensive these days. We've got the adult size and the little boy size. For some reason, we've got to also have a little girl size. We've got to keep them separate. We don't know why, but that's the way it goes.

Yeah. When we got our bathroom redone, they accidentally installed a boy's bathtub. And they had to tear it out and start over. All over again. The bathtub was so small that Lewis had to take a bath in sections. What? Sections? Yeah, really small tub.

How small are we talking here? Uh, is it something less than a boy's size dog? Okay. Later, when he emerged from his room to have breakfast, the ship's chief engineer was like, whoa, hey, glad you're down here. We were starting to worry that you got stuck in the bathtub, just like William Howard Taft nearly did. And Lewis was like, what? Is that true?

And the chief engineer was like, oh, yeah, listen up. Have I got a story for you? Are you writing this down? I hope you are. all those years ago when we found out that William Howard Taft was going to stay on board. We freaked out because the folks in Washington wired ahead and told us that we needed to, quote, make everything as large as possible. We made all kinds of renovations.

We knocked down walls between two or three cabins. We went nuts trying to find furniture big enough to accommodate him. We ended up finding the right stuff in a secondhand store. We bought the, quote, bed and chairs of the fat lady of a defunct. side show. Oh, like a, like a, kind of a PT Barnum, circus performer or something? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Yep, we did it all. We embigened it bigly. The only thing we couldn't manage to do in such a short period of time was get him a bigger tub. We assumed that the fat lady probably had a giant tub, but, quote, if the giantess had possessed anything of the kind, it had been disposed of elsewhere. What?

This dude sucks. He's basically like, whoa, fat lady's side show. Oh my gosh. Lucky we got her furniture, but we couldn't find her bathtub. I guess that got, you know,

dumped off somewhere else. Yeah. So probably all made up, right? This guy's making this up. Okay, here's the thing. I do think it makes total sense that if someone has a large body, then they're going to need furniture

to accommodate them. Sure. Like, I don't think NBA players are buying short little chairs for tiny fellas, you know? And I think, like, when they're having a house custom build, like, okay, my aunt and uncle are both tall people. Yeah. And in their house, all the countertops are high up. Yeah. I love going over there.

I wash my hands in that thing. I'm like, I'm not bending over at all. This is heaven for tall people. It is awesome. So I do think, like, were accommodations made for William Howard Towers? Absolutely. Yeah, and frankly, I would hope so. And what I would hope even more than that is that people wouldn't be dicks about it and be like, oh my God.

Oh my God, did you see how big his bed was? It's like, just, okay, the dude's big, get over it. He needs a big bed. Yeah. But we'll get into more of the bullshit later. So they were stuck with the teeny tiny tub. Teeny, tiny tub. Because the big giantess, as he put it.

So kindly put that, yeah. They couldn't get a hold of her bathtub. Well, and who knows if she even had, you know, he's just saying that shit. Yeah. So I did, I cut this part from the script because I didn't think there would be such interest. But hey, since you're asking, they had tried to special order a bathtub in Cairo, Illinois. I guess Cairo, um, fudged the bucket. For, wait, Cairo, Illinois.

Yeah. That's a future topic. The city of, what? Why? Very fascinating place. I think it's on like an island or inlet on the river in Illinois, and it was like a very big deal back in the day, and now it's like a ghost town.

Oh. It's kind of interesting. Okay, it sounds kind of interesting, but now that you know that they fucked up on that bathtub, do you want to punish them by not doing a story about them? No. Okay. Yeah, I read about it a couple weeks ago, and I was like, ooh, future topic.

Anyway, so they tried to get one in Cairo. They tried to get one shipped in from. St. Louis, Missouri, but St. Louis, Missouri fucked up, which I've got nothing to say about that, because I only say nice things about St. Louis. And so all they could find, allegedly, was this tub that wasn't

even like a normal-sized tub, and he just had to deal with that. Okay. So Lewis talked to multiple crew members, and they all told some version of this story. Are you ready? Oh, MG Girl! Yes, it's true. William Howard Taft

saw that itty-bitty bathtub, And instead of trying to bathe himself in sections like you did because you're smart, he stuck his whole body in it. And he did fit in the tub. But when it was time to get out, he couldn't do it. He was vacuum sealed in. And then his Secret Service officer, Archie Butt. His name was Archie Butt.

Yeah, that's not a joke. That's just a fact. Is that for real? That's a fun fact. Archie Butte. So Archie Butt. And like three state governors all went in there and had to pull him out of that tub all wet and naked and soapy. And by the way, if you think that pulling a naked president from a small, small tub was the worst thing that ever happened to Archie Butts, you're wrong.

Because guess what? A few years later, Archie Butts was like, yay, time for a vacay. Can't wait to go on vacation. I'm going to ride in this fancy new ship. It's called the Titanic. No. Yeah. He died.

Anyway, Lewis Freeman heard that story, and he was like, damn, this is all going in my article. And he published it in 1929 in American Magazine, which had a readership of 2 million people. And much like an old-timey podcast, when we put clips of our episodes on social media, American Magazine clipped that bathtub story and reprinted it in newspapers nationwide. And soon, everyone in their dog had heard the story of William Howard Taft getting stuck in the tub. But was it even true? I mean, okay, maybe. But if it were true, it probably wouldn't have taken 20 years to finally get into print.

Yeah. This was a highly publicized trip, and the fat shaming was on full display. For example, on that trip, the press reported that the president already had an extra strong bed on board the ship, but that it had to be replaced in Memphis, because, you know, so big. So they reported on that But you're telling me they never reported on him Actually getting stuck in a bathtub Even though everyone on board

Seemed to have known about it Okay, here's my other thing about this William Howard Taft is a large man Right He knows he's a large man Exactly He's aware of his limitations Right

So do we honestly think He just jumped in a tiny tub Like, I'm going to finish this big top This tub You know he's not a giant baby He's a grown-ass man Norm I totally agree with you

For the same reason that I don't buy the phone booth thing For even one second He's not a dumbass He knows his size Furthermore, he knows that everyone else is obsessed with his size And is always looking at him So do I really think he's going to be so dumb To be like, you know what, this looks like it's going to be a tight squeeze

But I'm going to chance it Especially now that I'm naked Are you kidding me? Yeah. I mean, when you have me search for that image, I saw a cartoon of him being like put into the tub with a crane, like lowered into the tub. It's like, no, he's a grown-ass man. He knows if he can fit in the tub or not. Yes, absolutely. You know what?

I'll say this also. Okay, I'm tall. You know something I'm never going to do? What's that? Something I am very unlikely to do, I will say, is bump my head on a low ceiling because you know what? I've been tall enough. The second I see a low ceiling coming, I'm already ducking,

because I know what my body will do to that low ceiling. I'll be ass over applesauce in no time. That's right. And of course he was the same way. Of course he was the same way. Ugh. So you and I agree. We do not buy this for one second.

But even if this story is somehow true, it still doesn't match the story that we've all been told. The story was never that William Howard Taft got stuck in a very small bathtub on some random boat. Right. It was that he got stuck in the White House bathtub. Yes. So where did that come from? That can be traced back to the 1933 White House Staff Memoir, 42 years in the White House.

Who wrote this filth? Irwin Hood Hoover. No relation to President Hoover. I knew you were going to ask. What about Jay Edgar? Oh, I don't think so. A future topic? He served under 10 presidents.

During his time as a member of the White House staff, he rose from electrician to Chief Usher. And in the book, he wrote that when William Howard Taft became president, they had to replace the existing tub with a larger one because, quote, the president would stick in it when bathing and had to be helped out each time.

Okay, what do you think of that? We're going to get more into the credibility of that story. Here's my initial thought. Well, okay, boy, I'm like, and another thing, and I haven't even said anything yet. First of all, let it be said from the mountaintops. If someone needs accommodations for their body, they should be given those accommodations and everyone should shut up about it. So that's my first thought.

Well, and he's the president. Right. But this line, he would get stuck in it when bathing and had to be helped out each time. Again, this goes back to, do we think he was a dumbass? No, I don't think he was. Because what I'm thinking is, do you know how many times I would have to get stuck in a bathtub before I would be like, you know what? I'm going to bathe myself in sections.

I'm, you know, I'm not going to do this to myself again. Once. Right. One time. Once. It would happen one time and never again. And so this idea that like, oh boy, it happened again. Oh, geez.

Oh, geez. Get our biggest boys have them come in here. Bringing that crane to lift me out. No way. No way. So almost immediately that book drew criticism for its perceived inaccuracies. For starters, it was published after the author died. And a lot of people suspected that, yeah, maybe it had been written using some of Irwin Hood Hoover stories from working in the White House,

but that it had largely been reshaped and added to by a ghostwriter who was spicing it up a bit. Yeah. So even though people close to the White House knew that the story probably wasn't true, it didn't matter. By that point, we were off to the races. The story, if it ever even happened, got even more thrilling. Did you hear that six men had to all work together to pull them out of the White House bathtub? It's totally true. Oh, wait, wait, wait, here's another version.

Four men had to pull them out, and they used a gallon of butter. Butter? I mean, this story got better and better each time. Oh, and more delicious. Suddenly, a lot of people came forward saying that, oh, yeah, years earlier, they had personally pride President William Howard tapped out of a bathtub. We've all done it. We've all been there. He called our crew every other day.

We were sick of it. I said, I didn't even bring my galoshes today. A bellhop at a hotel in Denver said it. A bellhop at a hotel in Portland said it. A bellhop at a hotel in Albuquerque said it. But Norm, it wasn't just bellhops. Sometimes everyday citizens claim that they had personally pulled the president out of their own residential bathtub. It's like a badge of honor.

Yeah, I did it too. I'm a real patriot. That's right. Someone in Pennsylvania said it. Someone in Nashville said it. Someone in Kansas said it. Oh, that William Howard Taft. It was amazing.

He ever got anything done. He's so busy getting stuck in the tub. I mean, he got stuck a lot. This is like Woodstock. You know how, like, they have the stats on how many people actually attended Woodstock, and then they had a stat of how many people claimed they attended Woodstock. This is like, I would love to know how many people in this era claimed to have personally pulled a naked William Howard Taft out of a bathtub. I bet it would have been in the thousands.

Yeah. It's like high school athletes who are like, I was this close to going pro. I was this close to getting him out of that bathtub by myself, but I had to bring in three other dudes and a gallon of butter. Just when it seemed like the rumor might die down, it became reignited when in 1961, a woman named Lillian Rogers Parks wrote a memoir called

My 30 Years Backstairs at the Wants, White House. In it, she wrote about her years as a seamstress for the White House, but she also wrote about the years she spent there as a child when her mother worked there as a White House made. In that book, she did mention the bathtub. She wrote, quote, a special bathtub had to be installed in the White House because he would get stuck in the normal tub and it would take two men to pull him out. When the newspapers made much of the rumor that he needed a special bathtub, he tried to deny it, but it was true just. the same. Yeah, I mean, at this point, the, the rumor has taken hold and...

It's a fact now. Yeah, well, and it's also like these people who are like, yeah, I worked in the White House or, you know, I worked with William Howard Tap. Yeah, it's become like, oh, I have to mention this now. Yeah. Because it's part of the... It's part of the lore. It's part of the lore. So, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, they definitely installed a giant bathtub and he got stuck in it all the time. Yeah. And what's sad is... Taft is dead at this point. He can't defend himself. I mean, that's not the part that's sad to me.

Because, like, he shouldn't have to defend himself. And also, how do you defend yourself about something like this? It's so embarrassing. Yeah. And I think all we have to do is think about it for a few minutes to know it's made up and that it's just really mean. Yeah. The other thing I would add about this is that,

she was a child when William Howard Taft was in the White House. And, you know, of course, it's not like I would say, oh, it's impossible for you to know facts about that time, you know, when you were a child. Because, you know, I'm sure a lot of true stuff happened and her mother talked about it and, you know, it's possible. But again, this is not truly a first hand account of that. Right. The book was popular enough that in 1979, NBC ran a mini-stander. series based on it. This is the thing you were so excited about in the beginning of the episode. And again, since the author would have been a child during William Howard Taft's administration,

the series writers, I guess, couldn't help themselves. They had to find a way to bring together the unlikely pairing of a small child and the president's bathtub. Here's how they did it. It makes for great TV. Oh yeah, it's not weird at all. By the way, I'm able to tell you about this seen in an alarming amount of detail because some blessed soul uploaded a clip of the mini-series to YouTube. A hero. I will describe it to you now. Well, you want to do the spoilers tag? Because some people may want to watch this for the first time. Well, I thought we'd all seen it. It's such a classic. Okay, picture it, Norm. A woman sits her daughter down in a chair in the White House. The little girl appears to be roughly nine years old. And the mother who works in the White House,

says to the little girl, now you sit right there. I've got to go and turn on the president's lamps. Don't you leave that chair now? The little girl does as she's told. And even though she appears to be in some type of sitting room or entryway, she sees, clearly, from her chair, a bathtub. Okay. You know, a living room bathtub, the type we all have.

Oh, it was in the room she was in. It was meant to look like it was in a different room, but again, very odd that she's able to see a bathtub from what is presumably a sitting room. I don't know. Okay. For the record, it appears to my eye to be a pretty normal size bathtub. Should have put a banana next to it for scale. Right.

Nonetheless, the little girl is astonished by it. She leans forward in her chair. She stares at it. She squints. It's like she's never seen a bathtub in her whole life. Her mother passes back through the sitting room explaining that she has to go downstairs and turn on the lights all over the house. But as she starts to walk away, the little girl stops her. She asks, Mama, what's that?

She points in the direction of the tub. It's a bathtub, you idiot. Is that what her mom said? Her mother responds, that's a bathtub for the president. Now you just remember what I said. Don't move from there. Wait, that was the line? Oh, what is that?

Norm, this gets so much better. I mean, you're going to need to buckle up. The little girl nods. Like, she's going to sit in that chair, but we all know she's a liar. She's too intrigued by that massive bathtub to sit still. So, with a grin, she moves toward it. She touches it. She grins again.

She hops in it. The girl is blist out, fully clothed in that empty bathtub playing around. And just then, A deep, benevolent voice cuts the silence. It's the president. President William Howard Tash! He's holding several newspapers. Well, well, well, he says.

As the little girl scrambles to get out of the tub. But of course she's struggling because it's such a big tub. I can't emphasize it enough. And then the president says, the creepiest line of dialogue that has ever been written. He says, allow me to assist you. It isn't often you understand that I find such a treasure in my bathtub.

Ew! What? What? What? What the fuck? A treasure in my bathtub? It isn't often you understand that I find such a treasure in my bathtub. The president says to a random little girl.

Was he wearing clothes in this scene? Thank God. I was really worried he would appear in his undies. He was in that custom-made bathing suit from Glenwood Springs. Oh, God. We got to look up the writer of this show. Norm, I regret to inform you. I'm not done describing this.

Oh, my God. Okay. So then he gets to the heart of the matter. The fact that he has a big bathtub and everyone knows it. He says, How in thunderation do the newspapers do it? And how did they find out I got stuck in my bag? bathtub and had to have a special one made.

Then he busts out a newspaper to show the little girl the photo of those four men in the tub. We've all seen it. I love exposition in a film. It's great. It's totally normal and natural norm. And in the next scene, he invites her to have dinner with him, which before that moment he'd planned to eat alone. And would you like to know what the mini-series depicted as a typical William Howard Taft dinner?

Yes. Okay. Totally normal. I'm sure it's not exaggerated for effect. We've all eaten like this before. Just a simple dinner of crab, lobster, chocolate a clairs, ice cream, asparagus, tenderloin, potato salad, pastries, and fruit for your health. So they're just stereotyping this man. Well, also, I've seen videos online of like, I'm going to eat like the president for a day. Yeah. And I...

Those are very popular right now. Well, I kind of like them because, again, residential fun facts. And I didn't look up the William Howard Taft one. I feel like I watched it a long time ago. But again, I remember thinking, this is not real. I mean, I'm sure he ate a lot, but it's not like a comical amount. It's not like a weird. I mean, this is such a disgusting.

Can you imagine crab, lobster, chocolate, eclares, and ice cream, asparagus, tenderloin, potato salad, pastries, and fruit. You would vomit on the spot. You've got three proteins in there. You'd have a bathtub full of vomit is what you have. Oh, gross. Norman, nearly 20 million households watched that miniseries. And I can tell that you're very intrigued by this mini-series and that we will be the next one to watch it.

Maybe some people watch that mini-series and thought, hey, that's probably an exaggeration. I bet you a lot of people thought it was at least based in fact. Was it on NBC, you said? Yeah. Yeah, trusted news source. Well, I just, thinking about myself, sometimes when I'm watching a dramatization, you know, I think, okay, sure. A lot of this dialogue is made up, you know, some of the scenarios are made up.

But the basic fact of what they're talking about has to be true, right? Yeah, I mean, when I watched the Merlin TV series on NBC, I was like, wow, an incredible wizard. And he was real. Norman, I would like to invite you to kiss my ass. Oh. By the way, I just ate crab, lobster, declares, ice cream asparagus. Yeah, Norman Leo, don't worry about it. So this fact became even more cemented in our brains. Now, more than 100 years after his presidency ended, the tale of William Howard Taft getting stuck in his bathtub has been told in countless books.

It's a constant in presidential trivia. But most historians agree that it probably did not have. happen. So the next time someone says that William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub, feel free to rain on their parade. Yeah. But then you can shield them from that rain by giving them this true fun fact about William Howard Taft. Oh, let's hear it. William Howard Taft was our last president to have facial hair. Hey! Ah. Yeah. Now I'm thinking of all the presidents after him and I Wow, that is a fun fact. It sure is.

And that's the story of William Howard Taft, not getting stuck in a bathtub. Very good, Kristen. Oh, I had so much fun with this one. Yeah. Yeah, feel free if you listen to this episode and you're ready to spread this new information, feel free to um actually people. Yeah, and be like, huh, I can tell you're not a history ho. because if you were, you'd know this by now. Exactly.

We love rubbing it in people's faces. Yeah. Very good. I always knew that wasn't true, but I didn't know the details. So thank you. Thank you, Norm. You know, I... I did nothing.

I believed it with my whole heart for years and years and years. And then words can't describe how dumb it feels when someone's like, well, that's obviously made up. And it's rooted in fat phobia and just people being absolute dicks. And then you go, oh, yeah, of course. Of course it is. I mean, you only have to think about it for 30 seconds and then you're there. And then you feel like really silly.

Future topic, William Howard Taft? I don't know, man. You don't know? Well, I mean, he's an interesting guy. I didn't know he was the guy that got us. the income tax. Well, you know, he was president when it happened. I bet you there were a lot of people on the ground working on that one.

Well, he signed it into law. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So we should all be mad at him for income tax. Paying our taxes. Blame him. Great.

We'll do. I'm done with taxes. It's amazing he got that done when he spent so much time in the bathtub. Am I right? Mm-hmm. Well, I think we should begin our slop segment for this week. I do, too. And folks, this week, we are going to talk about our trip to Disney World.

So if you're not on that $10 tier, the pig butter investor tier, at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast, get on it now because we've got some spicy takes. You know what's a lot of fun is hearing about other people's vacations. You're going to want to pay for this. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. All right, let's get into it. Folks, we just wrapped up a slop segment that you're definitely going to want to pay for. There was a lot of slop.

Oh, yeah, a lot of slop. We talked about our Disney World Trip. It was a lot of fun. But we are happy to be back recording an old-timey podcast. We feel refreshed, reinvigorated, and filled with determination. Yes. Right? I tell you what, I do love this job.

I mean, the fact that I got to sit this week and read all about women. William Howard Taft, not getting stuck in a bathtub. I'm living the dream. Absolutely. I don't mean to brag to you people. But it's true. What do we have on the docket for next week? Norm, that's a rude question.

I don't know, but I'm going to start working on it. Well, I'm presenting next week, Kristen. Not if I whip something up faster than you. How about that? It's a race. How about we're dueling for the podcast? Okay. We're going to turn into a competition.

I like it. Okay. Well, I'll probably give up. Anyway, let's wrap this thing up. Kristen, you know what they say about history hosts? We always cite our sources. That's right. For this episode, I got my information from the article,

Popular lore claims that William Howard Taft got stuck in a bathtub. New research sheds light on the legends forgotten origins by Howard Dorr for Smithsonian Magazine, as well as reporting from newspapers.com and the New York Times. Plus more, check the show notes for a full list of our sources. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts.

And while you're at it, subscribe. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Join the Reddit community R-slash old-timey podcast. Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old Timey Podcast. You can also follow us individually on Instagram. I'm at Kristen Pitts-Karuso and he's at Gaming Historian. And until next time, Tudaloo, Tata, and Cheerio. Bye.

Bye. We're glad to be back. See ya. See you.