An Old Timey Podcast - 116: Wallis Simpson: Duchess of Windsor (Part 2)

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Welcome back to the final episode in our two-part series on Wallis Simpson! In this episode, Kyla Pitts-Zevin (Kristin’s sister & mayor of all of Kristin’s podcasts) gives us a lesson on how to tell a story concisely. (Did you know that you could tell a person’s life story in less than seven parts? News to us!)Last week we learned about Wallis Simpson’s early life and first two marriages. In this episode, she meets King Edward VIII. Their love affair leads to a constitutional crisis that changes the course of history. Oh, and look out for Nazis.Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kyla pulled from: That Woman: The life of Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor by Anne SebbaCountdown to Abdication: A Very Royal Crisis, BBC DocumentaryDuchess of Windsor: The Woman Who Stole a King’s Heart, DocumentaryWikipediaTraitor King: The Scandalous Exile of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor by Andrew LownieDisbelief from Family of Simpson’s Lover, BBCAre you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts!Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye, you are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm Normy C. And I'm Kyla Peezy. And on this episode, Wallace and Edward will live happily ever after, question mark? Ooh, I'm intrigued. Yeah, two days ago, we got together, told you the first half of her life and her upbringing, and now we're going to bring it home, baby.

I'm excited. And what did you say earlier to me? Kristen Baby's first podcast. Oh my gosh, everyone, listen up to this disorganized lady. First of all, in your real life, you run very serious stuff all the time. But you have come to this podcast. You've made a mockery of it. Your script for the first episode was eight pages.

Eight pages, okay, all right? And tell me, Kyla, the script for episode two, final episode of this series. How many pages are we working with? 20 pages. 20 pages, baby. Wow. It was like I was like a senior trying to write a 10-page essay and put it a 100-point font. I just, you know, no, I don't know what happened. It was like everything exploded.

We don't know what happened. We don't have the technology to look at the number of pages we have. Why this happened? Who did this to me? You know what? Okay. It's so funny because first of all, I loved episode one. I thought it was so fun, so cool.

I've always wanted to know more about Wallace Simpson, but it was tragically too lazy to read a book about her. So glad that you did that work for us. But just today, I was thinking, gosh, it's kind of incredible that this is a two-part series, and she hasn't even met the king yet. How incredible? It is. It is incredible.

How will she do it? This episode will be 15 hours. That's right. I was thinking the same thing. Were you really? Yeah, I was like, man, that must have had a whirlwind romance and it ended quickly or something. Were you impressed or concerned? Can be both.

See, I was just... Two things can be true. I know. I was just naively like, wow, Kyla really has figured out a way to do this. She's working at a high level here. You guys take notes. All right. Keep them concise.

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That's 15% off at OneSkin.com with code OTP. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. And now we're back from the ad. Doodoo. Well, we want to pay for a word count tool for your script doctor. And in order to do that, we're going to need some support on Patreon. So head on over to patreon.com slash old-timey podcast.

For just $5 a month, you get our entire back catalog of bonus episodes, plus you get to Chitty Chat in the Discord. Can I shout out the memes channel on the Discord is my favorite? People are dropping good stuff in there. They are dropping very high-quality content in there. I look at it late at night. I'm giggling. I'm trying to be quiet because Jay's sleeping. I would recommend just for the memes channel alone.

Do you ever wake him up because a meme is so good? And if not, I should. You should. I should. I should and I will. Very good. And on that note, let's get started. Yes.

Okay, how do I do previously on an old time? Oh, yeah. You just play jock jams, I think. I'm not afraid to do that. I'm not afraid to play jock jams. Previously on an old-timey podcast. Wallace was a woman who had ambition for money, for access, and for the finer things in life. Her whole life had just felt out of reach, taken away from her, enjoyed by those so close to her, but not her.

After attending Oldsfield School, Wallace met and married Wynn Spencer. After suffering many years in a marriage with an abusive alcoholic, Wallace broke free, much to the dismay of her family. Wallace met her second husband. Ernest Simpson, while he was still married, but she made sure that marriage didn't last long. And now, here we are in episode two, Electric Bugaloo. God damn, Kyla, I tell you what, it's nice to have you on the show. But when you do stuff better than we've done it, it hurts my feelings.

That was a nice concise intro. Sometimes when Norm and I do our previously on, it's like you're listening to the whole episode all over again. To the point that when I wrote this recap, I was like, Is this too short? No. Because this is shorter than me more. We should learn from you.

Okay. When you have an eight-page script on episode one, this is what you can do. So here we are. Wallace had a goal. And it was one she kept to herself at first. She toyed around with it and imagined it. And finally, she confessed to her aunt that she wanted to meet Prince Edward. He was the world's most eligible bachelor and an old bachelor at that.

hella old when you consider that everyone was Jones in for him to have an error. Edward was born in 1894 and grew up with strict disciplinarian Victorian-era parents. His father had a terrible temper and he had no idea how to communicate with his children, which a real recipe for success. But in Edward's young adulthood and adulthood, he was considered this charming, fashionable playboy of a young monarch. He was a risk taker. Edward took flying lessons, which was something that his family and the royal establishment absolutely hated. You don't do things that put you in harm's way as the future king of England.

Well, and also flying had just been invented. Yeah, I hadn't even thought about that yet in the arm. It's like, that's terrifying. Yeah. At the risk of sounding like a harsh school marm, which I actually think those are very cool, I agree. If you are born into that kind of important position, don't do. dumb shit like skydive fly airplanes or anything cool right and I think I think you saw this a little bit with like Prince Harry as well and some of like like I think it's a thing that they want to get out

there they want to put themselves at risk I think it's a psychological thing I don't know history hose way in where like you're not supposed to and so you want to do it more and prove that you're willing to do it because it's almost like people maybe don't think you're willing to do it but they really are and want to I think there's something too about like mass sorry you've said this is 20 pages and I'm interrupting already but like something about masculinity right and not wanting people to hold on to this image that you're in your castle and you never leave and you're you know so sheltered but I'll also say in harry's defense he was the spare he was not the air that is true spare not the air that's a good point so to those on the inside

edward was seen as self-absorbed and even vicious those closest to him have had really long-standing character concerns for him. He was weak and would easily fall prey to those who flattered him. There was always this question of, how are we going to turn this boy, this man, this man boy, into a king? There was a question of his moral development. It seemed from royal insiders that Edward lacked an ability to grasp concepts like dignity, honesty, and duty. you would.

Do you? Wow, it's so bad when people are immature, huh, Kyla? That's right. It really is. Ow! Oh, dirty. Kyle, on this podcast, we don't make any poop jokes. Oh, my bad.

My bad, fam. Everyone, just so we're clear, before we started recording, I was like, just a heads up, everybody. I feel like I have to fart. And she's got a blanket under there. She's got a Dutch oven. Yeah, I keep a little blanket on me. Yeah, Norm is in the danger zone. Well, I said to get it out of your system, but you're a little.

like it's not ready. I said it was stewing. It was brewing. It was brewing. So if there's an abrupt cut in this episode, you'll know what happened. So on top of the flying lessons, Edward was also a jockey. Longtime Royal Private Secretary, Tommy Lassels. Kristen, you might remind him from The Crown.

Tommy Lassels. You heard me. Yes, Norm, watch the Crown. My God. He got a great stash. That sounds like a male stripper name. Maybe he did that too. How do you?

Private secretary. Secretary. Yeah. You really are saying about secretary. Secretary. He confided in Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin that it may be better for the country if Edward fell and broke his neck. Oh.

Baldwin replied, God forgive me, I've often thought the same thing. What? I mean, that was truly what those royal insiders who had concerns about his moral character they really were wondering when was he going to mature? When was this sense of duty, ha-ha, and responsibility really going to take hold? And it was scary. Like I think it was really scary for those insiders and then trying to protect that image from the outside world to kind of keep up this image of this perfect family. When he wasn't piloting a plane or riding a horse, Prince Edward loved to do it.

Oh. Nice. But some of his lovers called him Little Man. Oh. Oh, my boy. They did. Not me. I didn't say it.

They said it. Well, I'm just saying we should have had short dick man on the sound on this very moment. Norm, I blame you. Why did you ever take that off the soundboard? You never know when that's going to come in handy. Mistakes. Mistakes. So one documentary that I watched called him tortured.

unfulfilled and with low self-esteem. And perhaps as a coping mechanism and also just a function of the time, he drank a lot, he smoked a lot. But eating, not so much. It's clear that both Edward, and as you may recall from last week's episode Wallace, suffered from disordered eating throughout their lives. As one palace insider wrote, The ferocious battering to which he subjected his body with a regime of endless walks and runs

in minimum of food and sleep must have been in part a mortification of the flesh to assuage this conviction of his inadequacy. Goodness, goodness gracious. What a British insult that is. I mean major. So there was a priority on appearing youth-like, which was leading to a lot of this disordered eating at the time.

And in fact, anorexia was finally named in 1880s by Queen Victoria's physician. Oh. Well, not so fun fact, but fact. Edward also spoke weirdly casually about the way he would be king one day, which really put Royal Insiders on edge. Tommy Lassels, Kristen's BFF, said he heard Edward say, one day he might retire to Canada.

What? Exactly what I wrote. What? And some insiders thought that his obsession with Wallace, which we'll get to in a little bit, gave him an excuse. to renounce the role of king, a role that he had increasingly not wanted. And I think you could kind of see that looking back on how he didn't take on the duty and the responsibility and the honor concept. He just was, yeah, not a serious guy. He seemed like a guy

of very little substance. Little man. With Edward's antics and unpredictability before Wallace came on the scene, Prime Minister Baldwin executed special surveillance. on him with King George's permission. Side note, this special surveillance continues even after Edward does become the king. I have no further notes on what I'm about to say, but I just have to mention it. He was obsessed with teddy bears. What? No, Kyle, like, does he have a lot in his bed or what?

That's this book that I read, that's all that it said. And the fact that I have to know this, now you. all have to know this, but I feel like that is really freaking weird. I agree. How old is he and he's obsessed with teddy bears? I mean, clearly it went on for too long, or I feel like they wouldn't have mentioned it. Yeah, yeah. But he's a, he's a funky-ass weird dude. Well, I'm going to defend this man

for a second. Oh, boy. Now you're going to be a funky as weird dude. I love me to play devil's advocate. Okay. Wasn't the teddy bear a somewhat new invention at that time and maybe it was kind of a new quirky thing? You know What blueie is a kind of new thing right now? You are a 39-year-old man. Are you going to have like a bluey doll in the house? I've got bluey shorts. Bluey socks.

But no, like, I mean, future topic teddy bears. Maybe it was a cool, fun thing people were doing at the time. Because wasn't it like based on Teddy Roosevelt? Yeah, I think so. And I guess maybe, Norm, but I feel like they wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't a little bit distinctive and strange. And we've, you know, eccentric people with money are going to be weird. And, you know, especially when you're a royal and everyone around you kind of has to cater to your whims, it led for a very weird personal psychology for him. So Edward was also constantly

seeking out a maternal figure, which is hella gross and Freudian. But when you understand that, Okay, we've got this combination of this guy who's constantly seeking out maternal figures and his romantic partners, and he's had a situation where everyone around him is catering to his every whim. His relationship patterns and the types of women he goes for make a lot of sense. Also, he loves teddy bears. And he likes teddy, loves teddy bears. You know what? We need some drama on this podcast. So I am going to defend Prince Edward in his teddy bears.

bear love. You have something more to say about the teddy bears? No, I'm just saying. I'm saying I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Norm, I see what you're doing. I see it. You're afraid that the teddy bear loving adults are going to come for us. And you're trying to be like, hey, hey, go after the ladies.

I am totally on your side, you weirdo. I think it's really cool. Exactly. I'm going to get as payback for that time that for Henry's birthday, you guys got him the biggest Pikachu that's ever lived. I'm just going to get Norm this huge Costco teddy bear and Kristen's going to kill me. I was going to say, yeah, that is revenge on me and me alone. Norm would just sit in it and write his scripts and be like, I love my teddy bear.

Yeah, those things are cool. Prince Edward and Norm. Those things are cool. Those giant teddy bears from Costco? No way, dude. Okay. So Edward's siblings were getting married, but he was 37 and he still hadn't. And, I mean, again, we're talking about the future king of England.

England here. The pressure was on. But shockingly, Wallace was not the first married woman, Edward pledged his undying love to. Did you know that, Kristen? No. Yeah. Well, you said he was sleeping around. Sleeping around, but not the first that he fell madly in love with. He was madly in love with a married woman named Frida Dudley Ward. And for the record, even at that time, he talked super casually about ditching his job for Frida. She was like the O.G. Wallace. Wow. So he's just looking for an excuse.

Yeah. Yeah. This is a long-seated thing. So, Kristen, you're about to die here. Yeah! The love letters between these two are bonkers. Oh, no. Edward writes, I'm like you, angel.

Want to die young. And how marvelously divine, if only we could die, together. I'm just dippy to die with you, even if we can't live together. Oh, my God. Did you say I'm dippy to die with you? I said what I said, no.

I'm a tippy to die with you. He wrote in baby talk and referred to himself as a little boy. Okay. Nice. He, you know what? He shouldn't have been the King of England. He should have had his own TLC reality show. That is it. I would have watched

the heck out of that. Sure. I'm starting to change my mind about the teddy bears. How quickly the turntables have turned. It's totally changing. Frida wasn't his only love interest at this time. Edward was also Boinkinthelma Furness. Sorry. She sounds really hot.

Hey, Furnas. And that was Wallace's Inn with the prince. She and Thelma Furness. Wallace got to know Thelma through Benny and Consuelo Thaw, aka Consuelo M-Fing Vanderbilt. Okay, I've heard of her. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I know it's not really related to anything,

but I'm obsessed with the Vanderbilt book by Anderson Cooper. Shout out to Huge Friend of the Pod, I'm sure. Anderson Cooper, thank you so much for watching. He writes us so many letters. So obsessed. Yeah, that's a great book. His book is really, really good. You, hold on,

Future topic. Oh, heck yeah. Yes, I would love that. Thelma Furness was hosting a party, but her husband was away, and the prince was coming. Now, polite society dictated that a married couple

had to be present for this kind of a gathering. So, fateful, Thelma called up Ernest and Wallace to see if they'd be willing to play the part, and bonus, meet the prince. So, it was a nice. 1931, when Wallace was 35 and the prince was 37, that Wallace used her same tricks that she had honed back in Oldsfields to draw in the prince. She listened. She took interest in his interests,

and she complimented the hell out of him for it. The prince and Wallace started seeing more and more of each other now that they were in the same social circles. The socialite house parties, more and more intimate gatherings, the whole process from acquaintance to friends to lavas, took place over about three years, and in 1934, when Thelma was away, Wallace and Edward will play. Edward became obsessed with Wallace, and he broke off all his other affairs. Staff actually ended up finding them in bed together. Scandalow. Good heavens. Good heavens. All of the prince's trists were met with side-eye, but this one was especially bad. Wallace was a no-no. Hell no

To the no No Now hold on Why was she so much worse Than Thelma Furness Well in addition to again Being aggressively American She had two living ex-husbands

And not only that She's too old to have kids At this time You know A ripe old age of 35 For Edward though It was love Wallace makes him feel free

She was fine She was opinionated. She was headstrong. She was witty and fashionable. And before you get too worried about our buddy Ernest Simpson over here, it's clear that there was some kind of an arrangement or an understanding between him and Wallace about all this. What? Hell yeah.

You just went along with it? They're very evolved. He would oftentimes be third wheeling with Edward and Wallace. He's getting cucked? He's getting cut. Ernest knew that he was getting some kind of a benefit from. this royal connection. However, as things really progressed in and around 1936, Edward is no longer with them out and about. So you may be wondering, how does all of this stay quiet? These headlines

are writing themselves, affairs, drinking, smoking, dancing. But this is the era in which Edward and all of the royal family were protected by the press. The monarchy is presented by the press as the ideal family. Back in this time, there was a real gentleman's agreement, but the press, do not touch the royal family. The pictures you may have, the intel you may have, it is not published. So even though it's known within their inner circles, and even in American papers, it's known that Wallace is having an affair with the prince. It is very hush, hush in Britain. Wallace and George have been having an affair for approximately two years when, in January 1936, King George is dying. And here's the thing that's wild to me.

The royal family didn't want the king's death to be announced in the lowly evening papers. It had to be in the morning paper. So they gave him a lethal shot of morphine for the sake of timing and did their coordinated press release. So I killed him. Yeah. I mean, he was dying, but like did it so that he died at a time. That is nuts. Isn't that nuts?

Couldn't they have just held the news for the more? Holy. Yeah. Was he in a stake? where he could agree to do that? Probably not. Yeah, probably not. That's not good.

Yeah, I mean, that's what's so your life is not your life. That is the thing about, you know, of course we can shit on Edward a whole lot here. Right. But it does feel, obviously, there's immense privilege, but it does feel pretty cruel to, you know, be born into this and have no real choice and to be followed and in a fish bowl. And, yeah, to have no say. in the matter. Although, you know, he does have his say. Stay tuned for the rest of this episode. Yeah, exactly. So Queen Mary kisses the hand of her son, Edward VIII, as she is now his subject. Edward starts sobbing, not just over the loss of his father, but from the reality that he now has to take on the role that he has never embraced.

He calls Wallace immediately. Insiders can see she really is essential to him processing and navigating his life. 16 hours later, Edward is the King of England in an official ceremony. Wallace is seen next to him in a window, a scene that was censored by Edward in its publication. Less than a year into his reign, Edward decides he can no longer keep Wallace a secret. He, like a total idiot, is like, I'm going to tell Mommy, I'm in love, and she's going to be so excited for me. Oh, my gosh. Honey. Of course, Queen Mary, who is the pinnacle of duty and responsibility above all else, is like, you have to drop this woman like a bad habit. Alec Harding, King Edward's private secretary, warns the king that he has to send Wallace away and be done with her.

Edward throws a full-on hissy fit. He was used to having his own way. He was brought up with every whim catered to indulge no matter the length. I think that kind of tells us a lot about his psychology, like I said before, the mix of the Victorian, the unaffectionate upbringing with every single whim being indulged. In the meantime, Edward puts Wallace up at Fort Belvedere, where she is outside of the view of the royal family. This is miles from London, but importantly, they are surrounded by his inner circle. And what's there to do? Lots of partying, partying, partying. Oh, there it is. The job, jazz. Like the movie, move it.

And sure. There's lots of official business to attend to as well. Oh, snooze. What, those red boxes of confidential documents that the king has to go through, you can just lay them over there. It's all good, man. Just don't kill the vibe of this party. Oh, God.

So the daily red boxes of confidential papers for the king are laid around open. Wallace is seeing their contents. Perhaps other party guests are seeing their contents. A hundred percent they are. The situation is so egregious that eventually the government starts censoring the information that comes in the red boxes. Yeah. With Edward as King and the affair going at a fever pitch, Wallace and Ernest begin talking about a divorce. It's inevitable and it's necessary.

The King is adamant that he and Wallace are together. And at this point, it seems like it's going to be a great deal for Wallace. Queen of England, sign me up. Ernest Good Sports Simpson is basically ready to play his. part in the divorce to make it happen. With King Edward's approach to the affair with Wallace getting bolder and bolder, America is running it on the front page. The British press can't keep it in anymore.

They are, as Hank Hill would say, about to bust. The sales potential is insane. Are you kidding me? The King of England and an aggressively American woman? King Edward needed PR help and stat. Lord Beaverbrook. I'm not making that up. Lord Beaver book.

Had one of the highest circulated newspapers at the time, encouraged King Edward to lead public opinion. Go release his story in his words to the public. Tell the people of his love for Wallace. Kristen, what do you think he should do in that moment? He's getting that advice. Do you think that's good advice? Let's see.

Well, is Mr. Beaver wanting the king to put this in the... Presumably so. Put it in the beef. Put it in the beef. Is that painted a newspaper? It should be. It should have been. It would have sold like hotcakes. I think that's excellent advice.

Yeah. Personally. Yeah. And I think in today's day and age and today's lens, we would see that as such. I think because he was so part of that upbringing where the British royal family was protected and nothing was really printed about that. them, he couldn't see that as being a good option. He does not want that type of notoriety for Wallace. But I think in today's, and in hindsight, we're like, that's good advice. Well, and the other thing he hasn't seen maybe is the way that the machine will work against him.

Exactly. Yes. If he doesn't do what they want. Because all he knows is that he's been a fuck boy this whole time and it never hits the papers. He's never publicly bad-mouthed. It always works out for him publicly. Yeah. But if he steps in it this badly, the machine will work against him. The machine, and I mean, they'll work against her, really. Yeah. That's a very good point. And yeah, he hasn't seen that. So meanwhile, there's the tricky little fact that Wallace and Ernest are still technically married. Wallace is swearing in court that her husband, Ernest, has committed adultery. Remember, this is at a time that in order to get a divorce, you had to have reason, proof, receipts, screenshots, timeline.

Shout out to all my Salt Lake City history hoes out there watching Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Oh, right. That was a pop culture jeopardy question. It was. Yes, Norman. Edward wants to do this thing right away. He wants to use his coronation to officially bring Wallace into the limelight. He wants her as his queen. He wants her at his side. during the coronation. This would happen just a month or two after her spring divorce if everything goes according to his plan.

That is nuts. It is absolutely nuts. I mean, and you can imagine the minds of the royal insiders and the establishment just being like this man is off his rocker. Keep in mind that the king is the head of the Church of England. And the church is not liking the optics here. The king must be a brough, abroved, abrope reproach. Also above it.

He's going to be both. Above, above, everything. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Cosmer Lang. Oh my God. The names in here. He's in a tough spot. People know what the king and Wallace are doing. So Cosmer Lang hosts a top secret meeting of people with cool names.

I mean, with his bishops in which he conspires to bring it fully to the public. Those bitches were conspiring against him. Yes. Meanwhile, across town. Lord Rothermeir, rival of Lord Beaverbrook, for real. Editor of the Daily Mail is like, hey, I know you don't like stupid Lord Beaverbrook's dumb idea about bringing it to the papers. How about this? Have you ever heard of a Morgonatic marriage?

What? I hadn't either. I may not be saying it right, but it's basically a marriage between people of two different social classes in which the spouse and the children would not inherit titles. The king thinks this is the best idea ever. Never mind that there's no precedent for this, no law allowing for it to happen, and that they'd have to go to parliament and have a whole lot of people involved to make it happen. He thinks it's a great idea. So prime minister, Stanley Baldwin, brings the Morganadic marriage idea to the governors and the advisors, knowing they will say, it's an awful idea. And you know what the advisors say? It's an awful. It's an awful.

idea. Hello to the no, no, no, no. This is fascinating, Kyla. I had no idea. I mean, obviously, you know he's a little out of touch. This is wild. He is Ku-lu-Lum lemons. I think part of what makes all of this fascinating in the research is you really do see,

like, he was kuku for cocoa puffs, and she really gets trapped in it. Yeah. And it's a very wild and sad story that oftentimes gets painted as like, look at this ultimate love and all that. So the fact that all these governors have said hell no to the Morgonatic marriage, that allows Baldwin to go back to the king and be like, oh my God, guess what? No one liked your stupid idea.

Meanwhile, across town, at the Church of England Bishops Conference, the tea is piping hot. and who's getting the tea for us, the real hero in this part of the story, is a local journalist who probably got his assignment to cover a bishop's conference and thought he was covering a big snooze fest. Yeah.

He is the education reporter at the Daily Advance in Elizabeth City. Thank you, Kyla. Wow. As we talked about earlier, there was a tremendous protection of the royal family by the British press, particularly by those Lord Hoosiebutt boys.

However, I don't know that this local Yorkshire Post journalist got the memo, or maybe he didn't really care, or maybe he just saw a tremendous opportunity. At the conference, Bishop Alfred Blunt, Ha. These names. Straight up questions the king's fitness to be crowned as the religious head of the church. The small, regional paper prints that quote, and by the next day, the Yorkshire Post's editor, wired it out to all the papers, and that's when shit hits the fan because everyone starts printing it. Wow. There's part of Edward that is confident in how he will always be really popular and well-liked,

because that's how he's always been received before. So part of him's thinking, okay, I don't think this is going to be a problem, but Homeboy was also stressed. Reality was hitting. He was drinking, smoking, not eating. Edward tells Wallace that he will protect her and stand by her through it all. And meanwhile, there's a real constitutional crisis at hand. Who's in charge around here? Is the king in charge?

Is he fit to lead? It's like an episode of who's the boss. I just want to ask a question. We can't talk about the teddy bears again. So just to recap, the biggest issue is that Wallace Simpson is divorced. Was that the biggest issue? Twice. Yes, twice divorced and they're both.

living husbands and really at this point, like, she's not even technically, she's barely divorced yet. Like, she was only set to be divorced if all goes well a month or two before he has his coronation ceremony. Okay. So he's not even, she's not even technically divorced yet. Right. And the Church of England is not a fan, not a fan of those facts. So if she had never been married, would there have been a big stink about Wallace Simpson? No, I mean, I'm sure there would have just because she was American. But, you know, I think if she had been younger of traditional childbearing years at that time, I think it still would have been a whole to do.

But her age, the fact that she's American, but the biggest thing is those two living husbands is just like, no, no ma'am. What if Prince Edward or King Edward had them killed? Now they're dead. And now they're just how you like them apples. He just hadn't thought of that nor. I mean, now there's some good idea. There's some advice. So our boy Bertie, the Duke of York and brother to Edward, is shocked by all of this.

Queen Mary is in disbelief. And how did the rest of jolly old England feel about all this? God, that's terrible. I love it. Love it. Well, they were actually very split. There was a sense that England should modernize the monies. The lower classes adored this love story, and this certainly was one.

Anyone could marry a king? Just imagine even a lowly Baltimore. Wallace told Edward he should make a public appeal and a broadcast that is immediate, unmediated, and intimate. Edward is like, great idea. Let's do it. However, important note here, the king needs permission of his government in order to speak directly to the people like this, Edward asks the prime minister to ring up the BBC.

Baldwin is pissed at this request. He's an old-fashioned man who cares deeply about the constitutional monarchy, as well as the balance and stability of the establishment. But this request is absolutely absurd. Wallace Simpson is perhaps the most infamous and hated woman in the world. people are throwing bricks through her windows. She's getting mounds of hate mail every day. She's being pursued like how we would think of a modern-day paparazzi. And by all accounts, she's terrified. She flees to the French Riviera.

Prime Minister Baldwin gets his cabinet together. They decide, it's a no on the broadcast. Not only that, you want that Morgonatic marriage. It's not happening. And we're going to say so publicly. Of course, the press is against Baldwin. The public are insatiable little. hose for this story and it's selling papers like hotcakes. Baldwin knows he has to go to the House of Commons.

He has to kill this speech. And the king has to make the decision. It's one or the other. The king wants to present this to Baldwin as a decision. It's me or it's her. Edward's advisors feel like he is beyond reason. But someone has to talk some sense into the king. Winston Churchill, ever heard of him? Oh, goes to visit King Edward, who at this point is losing his mind. Churchill wrote, he couldn't be an effective king without Wallace, or really an effective man. Baldwin wants to know what's happening behind closed door, so he brings in MI5. It's time to listen to some private conversations. They intercept calls between Edward and Wallace and between Edward and Bertie.

They're shocked when they hear Edward tell Wallace clear his day, I'm going to abdicate. Edward, knowing his decision is made, is ready to get the heck out of there. He wants an escape and begins to plan to flee to Zurich. Of course, the government is like, hell now. You need to stay and figure this out. There would be too much instability if you just up and effed off. Baldwin forbids him from leaving, and thankfully, Edward listens. Meanwhile, across the channel in France, Wallace is a mess.

What had started as an affair with the king to be has now ruined her life. It was supposed to be easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. She was going to stay with earnest, but have the most powerful sidepiece ever. No kidding. Wallace is being bombarded by questions. People are stalking her whereabouts. She writes a press statement of her own that she doesn't want to harm the position of the king and will just remove herself. By all accounts, she wants out.

This puts Edward into hysterics. Now the relationship is on shaky ground, and Edward was already shaky ground. and Edward was already shaky enough. He is unstable. Prime Minister Baldwin knows he has to pull out all the stops to grind this relationship to a halt. He has to do something drastic. Baldwin calls Wallace's lawyer John Goddard and pays him $5,000 to deliver some bad and not necessarily truthful news and to deliver it in person. As you may remember, you couldn't just up and get a divorce. You have to have reason and proof.

Goddard says they allege that Ernest's affair was a farce. They allege Ernest arranged to be found in a hotel with a woman. Not to mention Wallace has sworn under oath that she has not committed adultery, that her whole divorce proceedings essentially were a ruse to get out of her marriage and allow her to be with Edward. Edward has heard that this conversation will be happening and he does everything he can to stop it. He tries to stop Goddard from even getting to France. Edward is now sleeping with a loaded gun under his pillow.

He's threatened suicide over the phone earlier that year if Wallace doesn't stay with him. Dear God. Yeah. These are the stakes. Like this is how there was one documentary I watched. I can't remember it was called like 10 days or 11 days or something. And it covers this period day by day of just how crazy everything was while they were figuring out what the heck was going to happen. I feel horrible for her.

It sounds awful. You know, it's funny because on the one hand, she's not a very sympathetic character. No. But when you do put it that way of like, yeah, she was social climbing and she was very excited to have this side piece. Her husband was totally cool with it. Yay, look at me. Look how far I've come. We've come a long way, baby.

And now everyone hates you. And you're afraid that this guy might die by suicide. And the whole world's going to blame you and people are stalking you. It's terrifying. The consequences are unreal. Yes. So amidst all of this, Queen Mary, the boss bitch matriarch to end all boss bitch matriarchs. Yes, we respect her.

Yes, sits Edward down. Queen Mary is a woman of duty. And although I know she's been cold and distant to her children as a mother, she is in such a terrifying position at this point. She's like, listen, you do not matter. You are a symbol. Mary knows deep inside that abdication puts her other son, Bertie, in a position she never wanted him to be in.

Bertie has a verbal stammer. And yes, he has a wife and two daughters, which is ideal for a monarch, but he is not built to be king. Mary is worried he cannot physically withstand it. Spoilers. Yeah. Yeah, but this, but Edward sucks. Edward sucks.

So bad. You know, it is, it's funny getting all this context because I'm like, well, were either of these guys prepared to be king? It seems like there was no, and if it's just that he had a stammer, and that's the only thing that makes her not confident, then, you know, that's kind of. of a different thing. It seems like Queen Mary also questioned his physical health overall in addition to the stammer. Yeah, for good reason. For good reason. You know, I think this jumps ahead a bit, but when you read all the context of how cuckoo this man really was, you do think, oh God,

maybe it was good that he abdicated because what would have happened? And especially with the Nazi stuff that we'll get into, you're like, well, thank goodness he did abdicate. Yeah. You know, what position would we have all been in, would England and the United States have all been in, if that hadn't happened? Here's what Queen Mary should have done. Oh, let's hear it. Prince Edward or King Edward. I will give you the biggest teddy bear you've ever seen. Or spanking.

You have misbehaved. You're being a bad king. Yeah. Time for spanking. Bend over, baby. He's so childish and immature, it might work. It might work. It probably would have.

No, you keep coming up with great solutions to these problems. If we could just get a time machine, I think you could fix a lot of shit. That's right. Somebody get on that. What about that Hitler fellow? Did he just need a spanking or what do you think? He could have used a serious spanking. He could have used some medicine for that fart problem he had.

He had too much medicine. They tried. They tried. Wallace cannot handle the insane stress that is on her at this point. None of this is what she wanted. She calls Edward and tells him it's off. And he says, no, I'm abdicating. We're getting married.

He has made the decision for her. She is not slipping away. He says, wherever you go in the world, I'll follow you. Everywhere you go, I'll follow you down. Follow you down, but not that far far. Now, isn't part of the appeal of Edward is that he's royalty? So if he abdicates, that appeals kind of gone. So as well, it's going to be like, I'm not really into you anymore.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a really good point. And I think it does shift the way she sees him in a way and that we'll get into this. I think she treats him a little bit cruelly sometimes. And I think it's because she feels a lot of resentment to him because she's been trapped. And so, and he feels like he deserves. It's like that weird maternal, like strict upbringing. I think it's very Freudian and I'm very. gross. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. She, she felt like she was signing on for one thing. And yeah, at a certain

point, you can't leave this guy. Right. You know, the whole thing. The only reason anybody likes you to is that there's this story that this is the greatest love story of all time. You know, he abdicated for her. Oh, they must really be in love. And if you get divorced, then holy shit. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, it's a real J-Lo Ben Affleck situation. It's exactly like that. Norm, thank you. Wallace confides in her soon-to-be ex-husband, Ernest, and tells him that none of this was it her making. She writes, wasn't life sweet and simple?

After having that conversation with Wallace, revealing his big plan to her, Edward is thrilled with himself. Now to tell Mommy! Oh, my God. So he rushes back over to Queen Mary, and let me tell you. you, this man cannot read the room. Edward says that he is abdicating and going off to Mary Wallace. And when he tells her the news, Mary makes the ultimate power move. She quietly gets up, tells Edward she has another engagement and leaves.

Oh, I fucking love Queen Mary. I know. I mean, I think she was a rough mom, but it's like some of her moves. I'm like, damn, girl, respect. Well, I love her in the same way that I love a really bitchy drag queen. You know, it's not that I want to hang around. It's that like a move like that. There's no bigger power move on this earth to be like, I'm bored.

Goodbye. I have another engagement. You tell me the biggest news of your life and I say, I have another engagement and I get up and leave the room. We've all felt this when we were a kid and we announced, I'm running away and your parents go, okay, I'll miss you. Goodbye. Well, you know he was like, oh, I can't wait to see the look on her face or what is she going to say? and yeah, if she's just like, yeah, see ya, I'm something else to do. Inability to read the room and understand what his mom's reaction was going to be,

I mean, just it's really something. But it's official. The papers. The instrument of abdication, never having been prepared before in all of British history, is drawn up. And that night, Bertie and his mother, Queen Mary, sobbed together. The next day, Bertie and Edward sit down. There's one more thing to figure out. It's time to talk money, baby.

Edward wants to be well kept with Wallace. Your reaction is my reaction, Kristen. An important backstory here. When King George had died, Edward was pissed about his inheritance, or lack thereof, in his opinion. The money had gone to all the other members of the family and none to Edward. But also, that's kind of how it goes. You get the crown, not the family. the cash. This is pretty typical in these situations. The monarch is not going to go without. The

monarch is well taken care of. But Edward locked himself in his room and threw a tantrum when this happened. And also to be clear, Edward received a significant sum when he became Prince of Wales years earlier. But Edward spent, spent, spent that money. He liked and expected a lavish lifestyle. Edward uses the bargaining chips he feels he can. He threatens to keep two estates, Sandringham and Balmoral, saying Bertie will need to purchase them from him. What?

This guy sucks. Wait, hold on. Yeah. Oh, brother, this guy stinks! I feel like if you abdicate, you don't get anything. Right. Because you're basically leaving. You're shirking your duties.

My personal feeling is that you should get some kind of something, maybe enough so that you have security around you, enough that, and I don't even know how you calculate this sum, but enough that the person doesn't further embarrass the institution. The royal family. Yeah.

And that's a problem, as you can imagine. He's definitely going to do that. Yeah, and they know that. And Bertie's trying to find peace and just get this over with. Right. So he offers $25,000 a year out of his own pocket. And it's agreed. All four brothers sign the necessary instruments.

And for the first time ever, there was an abdigation. Abdigation, abdication. Well, the real mistake is you didn't adjust for inflation. Yeah, how is we're supposed to know? I don't even know. 25 grand out of his own pocket. A lot of money. Hang on, hang on.

I guess I'll do some work. I'm going to guess 180,000 pounds. Oh, that's right. We got to adjust for pounds. Oh, boy. 1936. You want it, Kai? Just do dollars.

No, you can't do dollars the pounds worth more. At least it is now. I mean, I'm doing, I'm doing dollars. About $500,000. Okay, basically $600,000 today. Oh, that's way more. And out of his own pocket. Right.

Yeah. Man. Okay, so that's too much, in my opinion. I mean, poor Bertie, like seriously, he was just like, dude, let's get this over with. Right. when Prime Minister Baldwin makes the speech to Parliament, Queen Mary is watching from up above in the House of Commons.

Edward served as king for 326 days, the second shortest reign in British history, and with no coronation. Winston Churchill helps Edward write his broadcasted goodbye speech. I'll read an excerpt of it here. At long last, I'm able to say a few words of my own. I have never wanted to withhold anything, but until now, it has not been constitutionally possible for me to speak. Believe me when I tell you that I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as king

as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love. The other person most nearly concerned has tried up into the last minute to persuade me to take a different course. Wallace listened beside herself from France. Her friends left her afterwards to be alone. Their love could not fail. It had to go on. The stakes had been too high. She's kind of locked in now. She's locked in. King Edward, now known as the Duke of Windsor, took the HMS Kelly across the channel. Did he hustle his bustle to get across? Did he try to run a tight ship and stay on schedule? No. He made the entire crew stay in international waters longer than necessary so he could finish sending his farewell telegrams on board, bragging later that he sent them from the ship because

it we're free. This guy sucks so bad. I hate him so much. I hate him so much. And honestly, again, I'm feeling for Wallace because in his speech, he has placed it on her. He has made it about her. And he's done it in a way that comes across as really sympathetic to people, I think. This whole thing like, oh, I wanted to tell you the truth.

Right. But it's self-pitying. Yeah. And you're not doing any favors to the brother you have just put in this position, the brother who is reaching into his own pocket to give you all this money that Kyla couldn't be bothered to adjust for inflation. Oh, brother, this guy sticks. Sometimes you can't rely on a sibling.

That's right. You can't. Sorry. Sorry. Although the Duke was now in France, Wallace and Edward were still separated until the divorce was final. They had to keep up this facade a little bit longer. This is so stupid. So stupid.

So stupid. At this point. It's so stupid. So Edward stayed at Eugene and Kitty Rothschild's home. And by all accounts, he sounds like the absolute worst house guest ever. He golfed. He took Turkish baths. Watched Mickey Mouse movies.

And gambled. He was a Disney adult. He was a Disney adult. Edward took the winning. when he was lucky, and he didn't pay when he lost. Oh, my God. Not to mention the gambling, there was all of this shopping he liked to do. Edward sent his bills to the British legation to be paid,

but they didn't know what to do with the bills. What do you do with the bills of an abdicated monarch? He's not even serving any kind of diplomatic role. His friend and staff member, Edward Fruity Metcalf. Fruitie? Fruitie. Ended up paying a lot of it out. of pocket.

What? Some bills, Edward just had sent to the Rothschilds. Oh my God. On Christmas, the Rothschilds got him sapphires. And in turn, he gave the Rothschilds in an autographed picture of himself. No. No, he did not. Yes.

Fruity Metcalf wrote to his wife, The evenings have been dreadful. He won't go to bed until 3 a.m. And he's taken up the accordion and the bagpipes. No, swear to what. This man is like a cartoon. It's so ridiculous. If you put this in a movie, it would be like, this isn't realistic.

Like, no one's going to believe this. We have to change this. Do they show this in the Crown? No. That would have been a great episode. But again, I think if they'd shown it in the Crown, I would have been like, well, clearly they've gone too far off the script here. He's running around playing the bagpipes at 2 a.m. And watching Mickey Mouse movie.

movies and teaching himself. He's like the equivalent of like a bro in heartache teaching himself the guitar on YouTube or something like that. I guess. But even then the bro would probably have more self-awareness. I mean, he's so used to being catered to. Yeah. He doesn't get it.

He doesn't understand. I think that's part of what is just so horrific about this man is that he doesn't know how the real world works. Right. Nor does he care to like learn and adjust. He's a man-child. He's an absolute man-child. And Wallace is going to hate it.

Yes. Edward had nothing but time on his hands and no responsibilities. So what did he do? He made frequent calls to the new king, his brother Bertie. He had plenty of advice, plenty of curiosity, and of course plenty of time to shoot the shit. What a good brother. The king eventually told the switchboard not to let the calls through. The staff and people around Edward were glad to see the Duke had been taken down a peck.

The artist formerly known as the King of England was trying to find his way. What's an ex-monarch's role for the country after he left? Could he ever return to England? His mother said he could return for her funeral. Damn. Queen Mary. You do not mess around with Queen Mary. In June 1937, the divorce between Ernest and Wallace successfully behind them,

Edward and Wallace married. Everyone in the royal family was expressly forbidden from attending the wedding. wedding, Wallace wore the iconic color she became known for, Wallace Blue. As one documentarian put it, it was a marriage that could not afford to fail. The price had been too high. For their honeymoon, they stayed in a castle of Count Paul Munster, major fascist, bro. Man. Speaking of fascists, let's talk about the big, ugly Nazi in the room, shall we?

Oh, wow. For all you context hoes out there, the Duke has been a huge fan of the the Germans all his life. In fact, he said that every drop of his blood was German. He was very affected by the 1918 murder of his relatives, the Romanovs. You know, it's so important for us history hose to go to the true source material, the contemporaneous journalism of the time. So, of course, I'm now going to read to you, the most popular BuzzFeed Listical from the 1930s, five signs the Windsors were fascists. Yes. Sign number one. Hitler. wasn't the only fascist that the Duke was into. He was a big fan of Sir Oswald Mosley, a fascist political

leader in England. The Duke was absolutely fascinated by dictatorship and Mosley was a proponent of the king using his role to push back against the government. Edward wrote, dictators are very popular in Europe at the moment and we might need one in England before long. Oh my God. Sign number two, Wallace and Edward were both extremely close to hair, von Ribbentrop, a German ambassador and champagne salesman. Wallace had an affair with him in 1936 before she met Edward. Jesus. Supposedly, Ribbentrop regularly sent her 17 carnations, representing the 17 times they had slept together. Oh. Which I'm like, carnations. Was it that bad? Ribbentrop eventually became Hitler's Minister of Foreign Affairs and was the first person hung in the Nuremberg trials.

Whoa. I don't know. Maybe you talked about him in the Hitler episode. No, I didn't touch on Ruben Trump. Okay, I couldn't remember. There's too many Nazis. Too many Nazis. There's no time.

All I remember are all the farts. Yeah. Sign number three. Wallace also had a Nazi lawyer who sounds like the Naziist to ever Nazi. The dude represented high-ranking Nazi officials and had a dueling scar on his face. Oh. Also, side note, Adolf himself gave Wallace and Edward a gold box on their wedding day. Oh, lovely.

That's nice. Sign number four, Wallace and Edward also got really close with Charles, I'm going to say Bodeau. Badee. Charles Badee. Charles Badee. Charles Bidot, a French American millionaire. He was known for developing a scientific productivity management system. Smooth's fast.

And he was also the fifth wealthiest man in the United States. It was at his house, Chateau de Conde, where the Duke and Duchess were married. In the 1930s, Bodeau was also cozying up with Hitler, and a plan was hatched to bring Wallace and Edward for a tour. All agreed it was for international peace. And to see the plight of the working man, the world over, the royal family tried to make it clear that if the Duke and Duchess traveled internationally, they are not to be treated as diplomatic representatives or representatives of the crown. Yeah. So they went. they saw factories, concerts, and yes, even a concentration camp.

When they went to see Hitler, they had to wait for him because he was taking a nap when they arrived like the tiny, stinky, winky, dinky baby that he is. The Duke and Duchess were set up to tour the United States afterwards, but the U.S. thought they mega sucked after their German tour, so it was canceled. Wait, so they really saw a concentration camp? Yes. And they were just fine with it? This is probably pre-death camp. It's probably just like they probably pitch it as like, this is a labor camp. A labor camp. This is where we put political enemies and people who are against the government and prisoners. Lord Almighty.

So they saw a polished up concentration camp and we're like, this seems good. And I think this is part of if all you care about is social ascension and you don't care the morality. of it means nothing to you, this is what you're willing to do. Yeah. Really, truly, is, was my interpretation. No, you're right. It is all about social ascension. And Hitler is a powerful farder and a powerful guy.

And so. And you admire dictators. Yeah. Look at all this gold stuff he gave us and he gave us compliments. That's all we need to know. Yeah. Well, and he's extremely immature and stupid. Hot takes.

Yeah. Sign number five. And this final and perhaps most damning evidence, if you didn't need any more evidence that they were Nazi enthusiasts, were the discovery of the Marburg files. A member of the American Army discovered an abandoned German army vehicle in the mountains. Inside were 60 documents detailing correspondence between the Duke of Windsor and high-ranking Nazi officials. Inside these documents were plans to reinstate Edward as king. The Americans gave a copy to the British but kept a copy for themselves. The British immediately destroyed them, asking the Americans to do the same.

The Americans were like, nah, we're good. We're just going to sit tight with these. And there was a promise to keep them out of the Nuremberg trials. The files were eventually released in 1957. Future topic? Future topic. There is a really good book if you're interested in that. It's called Trader King that really goes into all of that information. I would really recommend it if you're interested in learning more. Sounds like really biased against our new friend. Edward. Right. Yeah. Mickey Mouse man. I know that I've made a lot of fun here, but let's underscore how terrifying this really is. There was deep-seated discrimination with Wallace and within Edward. It completely fits into everything I understand to be true about the two of the.

them. In addition to some of the anti-Semitic and racist things I've read that they said or wrote, they were people who cared about securing, maintaining, and defending their status and power in society. Wallace had always gravitated towards wherever there was power or potential for power. Edward was aligning himself with the Nazis and having conversations about returning to King if Germany defeated Great Britain in the war. Were they anti-Semitic? Yes. Were they classist? Yes. Were they racist, yes. If that's not enough, they were just opportunistic. Whatever angle would provide them more opportunity and power, they were going to pursue it. I realize this sounds strange because literally Edward just abdicated the throne, but he left that situation feeling both

jilted and entitled, a dangerous white man super combo. And again, shout out to Trader King, if you want to learn more. That is horrible for him to be like, oh yeah, if Germany defeats the country I used to be king of where my family is. My family resides. Then that'll be great because then I'll be king again. And like the royals are hearing this, that he's cozying up with the Nazis, he's making these tours, he's talking with spies. Imagine how Bertie is feeling like you're compromising your family, your country.

It's a horrible thing that he's, I mean, it's just the layers of horrible are immense. Well, luckily his old buddy Winston Churchill is going to kick some Nazi ass. That's right. Shortly after the German tour, Wallace and Edward began a 10-year lease close to the Bois. Why did I even write this? The Bois. The Bois.

I don't know where it is. Regrets, I've had a few. What did you write down, Kyla? Boy de baloney. Boy de baloney. What? B-O-I-S? Bois de

de B-O-U-L-O-G-N-E My baloney has a You know what? We're going to go with it. Boy de Bologna. See, I don't even know what that is. It's like, why did I put it? I don't know what that is. Okay, let me tell you they were not popular with the staff.

This probably doesn't surprise you, given the Duke's time at the Rothschilds earlier in our story. Each and every member of the staff were required to be available at the drop of a hat, and they entertained absolutely all the time. The staff were required to call the Duchess, Her Highness, and curtsy to her, which is not

it's not royal protocol. The Duke and Duchess dressed for dinner each evening, Wallace in a long evening gown and gloves. Staff were paid 20% under the going rate to be their staff because it was an absolute honor to work for them. Of course.

The turnover of staff was insane. The Duke and Duchess tried to tell their staff that part of the benefit of working for them was that they would be included in their wills. Yeah, right. In fact, this is really sad. Later in life, they had a butler, Sydney, who'd been with them for decades. Sidney's wife died, and he asked at the end of his workday at 5 o'clock if he could go home and fix dinner for his family and tuck his children into bed. Wallace told him, if you leave at 5 o'clock, don't come back. And he didn't. Dear God. Is this in France? This boy do you.

Bologna? Boy de Bologna is in France. Yeah, that was where they spent the rest of their years, really. That is absolutely disgusting. Yes. Yes. So, sorry, we're going to go back into World War II real quick. Christmas is what I've been waiting for. Finally, on September 3rd, 1939, Great Britain declared war on Germany. The royal family offered to give the Duke and Duchess a plane to get to England for safety. The Duke said that unless they were staying at Windsor and he had a wartime role, it was a no for him, dog. Plus, Wallace had a fear of flying, and there wasn't enough room for their luggage on the plane.

They did eventually go on the HMS Kelly returning to England where they stayed in homes owned by the Metcalfs. They continued to be significant security leaks. The Duke and Duchess were obviously letting confidential brief slip to their French connections who were then passing them along to the Germans. There was also speculation that there was a sense, spy in their inner circle. Tensions were high among those who'd done their best to be loyal to the Duke

and do right by him. Between leaks and the horrible treatment, it was hard. Finally, Edward Frutty Metcalfe, who had worked for four months without payment and let the Duke and Duchess stay in his home, quit. And when Frutty did, the Duke up and left took everything and never said goodbye. The royal family and British establishment knew they had to do something to create distance between the Duke, the Duchess, and the Germans. They also knew they didn't want to give him a role that felt like it had too much power and influence. Thus, the Duke got what he really wanted.

A post! He would be... The governor of the Bahamas. Hey! Hey! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-live-up in the Bahamas. However, the poor Nazi watsis were sad. Their BFF was going to leave them.

Yeah. They were just about to make matching fascist friendship bracelets. Believe it or not, there was actually a whole side operation, which I won't get into, but it was an official German operation to try and get the Duke and Duchess of Windsor to remain in Europe, be it by agreement, by force, or bribe to stay and work for the Germans. It was called the Willy Operation. The Willie Operation? Long story short, the Willie Operation was a flop. With Edward, they should have gone the Little Willie operation. He got him. Yeah. You know, when he left France, I'm honestly surprised if he's

such a big fan of the Germans, he'd be like, what do I have to be afraid of? You know, I'm surprised he left. Yeah, I guess I am too. And maybe he didn't know how much he was not going to like this wartime role. Maybe he thought it was going to be better than it ended up being. Yeah. But it didn't work out well for him. Stay tuned. So Wallace and Edward sailed for the Bahamas. They stayed in an 1801 Spanish colonial, and you may be thinking, wow, I bet that was gorgeous. Wrong.

Oh, no. Wallace said it looked like a ski hut in Norway. Oh, give me a break. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. That's very different architecture. Exactly. I have questions.

Perhaps the most important thing to know in this hot new climate is that the Duke sweats buckets, and he didn't look good and he was in khaki all the time. And when you are wearing khaki and you sweat a lot, it is really embarrassing. Yeah, it looks like you pissed yourself all the time. Right, exactly. Their new accommodations did need updates, but the Duke and Duchess were tone deaf. They were writing to the royal family and English government asking for money for renovations for their ugly ski hut house and bombs are falling in London.

Yeah. There's some conflicting reports here if you read Anne Seba's book. She claims they paid for a lot of. of repairs themselves. If you read the Trader King book, they were doing things like shipping in flowers from the U.S. and shipping in a hairdresser from the U.S. as well with money. Honestly, okay, both things could be true. They could be spending their money. And also, they're still getting money out of the king's own pocket. So, I mean, are we really counting that as like, oh, Edward's own pocket? No. It's his brother's pocket. Yes. Another source I read

said that it was unfounded, that they were complaining. So who knows what happened, but they had attracted so much negative press over the years that it's hard to really separate fact from fiction sometime with these two. Yeah. What we do know is that they did have to get special permission to travel to the U.S., and Roosevelt had them under surveillance. Wallace and the Duke continued their shenanigans of just not paying when they were in the U.S. It's estimated that Wallace bought about 100 dresses a year. They told shopkeepers they would pay them when the war was over. Oh, my God.

Give me a br- These two suck. While they were in the U.S. and in the Bahamas, the Duke and Duchess were very vocal about their feelings that the U.S. should not get involved in the war. Shut up. And you can imagine how England felt about that. Yes. They were dying, literally dying. They needed the U.S. And it felt like further proof of the Windsor's allegiance to Germany.

Yep. I will say what's interesting here is that as the wife of the government, of the Bahamas, Wallace automatically became president of the local Red Cross, and it really does seem like she did some good work in this time. She got involved with the daughters of the British Empire and the Garden Club, and by all accounts, she stayed busy and worked hard. When she was in the U.S., she asked department stores to sell jewelry and weaving from the Bahamas. She worked with a local nurse named Alice Hill Jones to lower the staggering infant mortality rates and opened a clinic for mothers with syphilis. She opened a canteen for black members of the Bahamian Defense Force. She was busy day in and day out,

and by all accounts, she really felt like she couldn't tolerate being there any other way. Whereas Wallace seemed to really be rolling up her sleeves and trying to make things happen, the Duke, in contrast, was not. In his new post, he was bored and drunk and played a lot of golf. In 1942, without the Duke's knowledge, Wallace wrote to her mother-in-law, Queen Mary, It has always been a source of sorrow and regret to me that I have been the cause of any separation that exists between mother and son, and I can't help feel that there must be moments, however fleeting they may be, where you wonder how David is. She encouraged Queen Mary to speak to a bishop who was leaving the Bahamas to return to England for an update on her son. King Bertie was suspicious of this exchange, especially when a letter arrived nearly simultaneously from the Duke asking for a change of post. Perhaps the biggest headline during the Duke and Duchess's time in the Bahamas was the murder of Sir Harry Oakes on July 8, 1943.

This could really be a future topic. I'll be brief here, but there are books and books on this event. And as you might imagine, a murder of any kind, particularly a high-profile murder, is a major bummer in a tourist destination. So when this happened in the Bahamas, the Duke's response was to shut down the news outlets. Did he call Scotland Yard to assist? Other British resources? No, he called in Miami Vice, baby, the Miami police. What?

He called the American. He called the Americans. Good Lord. This guy is so stupid. On top of all this, the house was not sealed, so people were trampling everywhere and on everything. Was it the son-in-law, Count Alfred de Marigni, who was a drug smuggler on his boat, called the concubine? What in the Epstein files is that about? Was it the wronged business partner, Harold Christie? Stay tuned to a future episode and find out. It was at this time during medical

appointments in the U.S. that Wallace went in for an appendectomy and they discovered stomach cancer. Amid her health problems, Churchill gave them permission to resign the position in the Bahamas as long as they didn't return to Britain. So where should they go? They only wanted to go to a place where they had a diplomatic position. Otherwise, the taxation would have been a major bummer. Sure, they could have done charity work or private work, but why? So a year after the war, they returned to France. They did make a rare appearance in England in 1946 that I want to make note of.

When they visited, they stayed at an Earl's Castle. It goes without saying, but Great Britain was not fond of the Duke and Duchess. While there, the staff had advised Wallace to store her jewelry, in the castle safe. She chose to stash the jewelry under her bed. And don't you know it, $250,000 of Wallace's jewelry was stolen. There were rumors that it was orchestrated by the royal family as an attempt to get the royal jewels.

There were many people who could have been at fault, but the Duke and Duchess made sure to get their payout from insurance. Interestingly, they made a large deposit of loose gems at Cartier not long after. That's what I was thinking. Even more interesting, some of the... items that ended up on the insurance claim also were auctioned at Sotheby's a couple of decades later. Uh-huh. So insurance fraud?

Yeah, they did this themselves. There was a high-profile criminal who later claimed he did the burglary years later, but he's probably just... A lot of people do that with high-profile stuff. They want to be the one who did it. Right. Right. So I know how popular the previous BuzzFeed Listical was that I did. And now the BuzzFeed quiz of which.

Wallace Simpson, Lava, are you? Ooh. Oh, okay. So I must ask you to, what's important to you in a lava? Oh, that's disgusting, Kyla. Oh, let me, I'm going to give you options. I'll give you options. Norm's like, let me care of the ways.

Norm's like this is a fill it in for yourself. Do you want someone with a hilarious name, someone with political power? It's a life of unrequited love for me, to be honest, or someone who's super rich. So again, hilarious name, political power, unrequited love for me, to be honest. Super rich. Super rich. Okay. You're super, super rich.

Norm, what do you pick? The love, right? Unrequited love? What is unrequited? That means it's not reciprocated. Oh, shit. I don't know that. Let's see.

Funny name could be cool. Okay. If you picked... I'll go with funny name. Okay, great. If you picked hilarious name, you would totally date Guy Trundle. Yes. Guy worked for the Ford Motor Company was a good looking guy and liked to boast that every woman falls for him.

Wow. A special branch document that was unclassified in 2003 said that secret meetings are made by appointment when intimate relations take place between the Duchess and Mr. Trundle. Ooh, sounds sexy. Oh, so she was possibly banging other dudes. Oh, my gosh. Possibly. Definitely. Nor.

Wake up and smell a coffee. I think this was part of this resentment that grew. I mean, and that people close to them saw that she would just treat him like a piece of trash in front of other people. I bet she hated him. I think there was a lot of complicated feelings there. Well, what's my rich dude? What's his name? If you picked super rich, you would totally date Jimmy Donahue.

Yes, he's super rich. But did I mention he's generous, cheerful. handsome and gay. Oh. Jimmy was the heir to the Woolworth fortune. He never heard of it? Woolworths. He was in his mid-30s and Wallace was the mayor of Cougartown in her mid-50s.

It seems to have been an affair of companionship that was maybe also sometimes sexual. It seems that it must have been complicated and not without its problematic Freudian roots too. Jimmy had a mother who was cold and distant and Wallace was very maternal to him. Jimmy had what the Duke and Duchess felt that they didn't. didn't have, insane wealth, and he was happy to pay for his friends. Things did eventually go south with Jimmy. He was tired of footing the bill. He was pissed because apparently Wallace made fun of his bad breath.

He dropped the Duke and the Duchess. 13 years later, Jimmy died from a mix of alcohol and barbiturates, found in his New York City apartment with over a dozen framed pictures of Wallace in the room. Wow. Speaking of dudes and more dudes, there were rumors not unfounded about the Duke's sexuality. In fact, there was also a rumor that the Duke loved Jimmy. There was a rumor he had an affair with Frutie Metcalf. The joke makes itself there.

There was a rumor he had an affair with the heir to the Chrysler Corporation. The Duke and the Chrysler guy were members of a famous hunting and shooting club known to be a cover for gay men. Wallace loved to torment the Duke with her flirtations with other men. In fact, she traveled to New York City for three weeks, not picking up the Duke's calls the whole time when she was visiting Jimmy. Do you want to know about political power? Yeah. If you picked political power, history host, you would totally date William Bullitt because he was kicking ass as the ambassador to France. This was a long affair that started before Wallace and the Duke got married and continued afterward.

The two were known to be reculous. Reculous. and ridiculous. Security details knew this affair and others were happening, but they kept it quiet or else the Duke would go ballistic. And Mr. Bullitt was also pro-Nazi.

If you are a sad history ho out there and you picked, it's a life of unrequited love for me, to be honest, you would totally date your deceased friend's husband, Herman Rogers. Oh. You sick lady. There were some rumors that Wallace and Herman had an affair when they were in China.

And mind you, that was when you, that was when Kitty was alive. But when she and the Duke were invited to Herman Rogers and his second wife's wedding, Wallace told the bride to be, Herman is the only man I've ever loved. What? Good Lord. Wallace.

It's now the early 1950s. The Duke of Windsor was 57, and King George tragically dies. To add to this tragedy, it happened when Elizabeth was in Africa. The Duke began to make arrangements to come back to England. He was told that Wallace could not attend the funeral. He, of course, used the opportunity to ask for a title for her again, and he was rejected. As more time passes between the abdication and now the excitement of a new young queen, Elizabeth was only 25 years old, the Windsor's relevance and power continues to decline over time.

This is perhaps the reason that in 1956 Wallace publishes her memoir, The Heart has its reasons. The Windsors had made good money when the Duke's. wrote his memoirs, ghost written by Charles Murphy. Kristen, can you guess how difficult it was to work with the Duke and the Duchess for their memoirs? I'm sure it was torture. Yes. They tapped Charles Murphy again when they decided it was time for her memoirs, and Murphy said the Duchess thought of herself as an ingenue and a comedy opera, just not self-aware at all. She used the book as an opportunity to share her story. To make it clear

that she never intended to create a constitutional crisis, to talk about the the difficulty of the British press and tabloids. She wanted to shift the perspective of her as this power-hungry social climbing woman to someone who would do anything for love. The book today is criticized for not covering their political views and really not telling the real story. It was also heavily edited by the Duke. It seems like the Netflix puff piece of the time, if you will.

As the years progress, the Windsor's continue a life of increasing seclusion and isolation. Wallace was in her early 70s and in the early stages of all. Alzheimer's. The Duke's health was also failing. The night nurse said that the Duke would wake up in the middle of the night calling for Wallace. When the Duke finally died on May 28, 1972, Cecil Beaton wrote, thank goodness it's him before her, and she spent the rest of her days alone. By 1976, the attorney who was managing her affairs, Suzanne Bloom, had to sell some of their personal items to pay for living in health expenses. Wallace lost her ability to speak in 1980. In what had been a real symbolic loss of her voice when she married the Duke became real and true in the last

six years of her life. And in 1986, Wallace died from heart failure brought on by pneumonia. And who bought the home that they lived in but Muhammad Elfayed, who intended to return the home to its former Windsor glory? Most of her possessions were given to charity. You may recall that Mohamed Elfayed is a successful Egyptian businessman, by all accounts, obsessed with the English royal family, whose son Doty died alongside Princess Diana and their driver Henri Paul. Oh. Yeah, when I read that he was the one who bought their house. That's, yikes.

Wallace's funeral was held in England, and it was a strange affair. The silencing of Wallace's voice continues because by all accounts, her name was not said during her funeral once. She was buried next to her husband, the former king. When we look back on Wallace Simpson's life, we see a girl who grew up without a father, a girl whose well-being in life was tied to the whim of men. We see a girl who found her way out. By being the life of a party, she was hungry and insatiable in her desire to ascend the social ladder, and it didn't matter who she had to attach herself to to gain power, and it didn't matter

who she stepped on along the way. And she got what she wanted. But did she? At what cost? she's known for today is her connection to a former king, as one of her former friends said, can you imagine a more terrible fate than to have to live up publicly to the legend of a love you don't feel, to have to face morning, noon and night, a middle-aged boy with no other purpose in life than a possessive passion for you? And that is the story of Wallace Simpson,

Baltimore Good Time gal who cracked into the royal family. Oh, man. Oh, that was So good. 17 hours later. We're still here. I didn't realize she lived that long. Holy moly. Well, and what a sad final chapter of her life. Yeah.

It really, I was really sitting with that today of like, oh, she went six years without being able to speak. And with Alzheimer's and stuff. Oh, my gosh. I just miserable people lead miserable lives. like and I just think they were both miserable people and I think they led miserable lives. Yeah. I really do.

God. What a fascinating person though. And in his own way, he's kind of interesting too. I think a lot less complicated to me. Yes. It does make me wonder, do you know where he went to school or anything? Because they talk sometimes about like sending off the royals to some of these schools where, you know, It's kind of tough and maybe they're not treated so great.

You go to Johnson County Community College? Thank you. Royal Naval College, Britannia Royal Naval College, and Magdalene College, Oxford. Oh, well, I know all about this. No, I don't know anything about it. Yeah. I wonder if it's tradition to send members the royal family into like the military school. Didn't like Prince Harry do military stuff?

Yeah. I think there is some kind of. a tradition there. Yeah. Okay. Well, that was, uh, yeah, very interesting and they both suck. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, that's how I feel. Well said, Norm. I think they both suck. They both suck. Let me, okay. I can't forgive the Nazi stuff. I'm sorry. I can't forgive the teddy bear stuff. Yeah. Unforgivable on both counts. I see it equally unforgivable. That's right. on that note i think we should lead into the slop and kaila you said that you've got a portion of this it's hard to imagine believe it or not yeah i didn't cover everything and so there's some stuff about

wallace's life that is super controversial and you want to talk about it on the slop where only the patrons can hear us okay fine only the pig butter investors shall listen that's right everyone we just finished up a fascinating segment of the slop i don't mean to tease you But we got real slutty with the history right there, as we like to say. Boying indeed. Well, Kyle, this has been a fabulous second episode, slightly larger than the first. What's our runtime over there? This meaty boy right now over here says one hour and 48 minutes.

Hey, that's not too bad. That's not too bad. You know, our very first episode was almost four hours long. Oh, my God. If you remember that one. Mistakes were made. We were figuring things out. Well, I want to thank you all for having me.

I want to thank any of the hos that have hung around this long because I know what it's like when your favorite podcaster has a guest on. And you're like, what? I messed up my dynamic. I listened for these people. What about my best friends? What about my best friends? So if you stuck around, thank you so much for letting me come in and tell a little story. Well, Kyla, you are so good.

I mean, seriously. I think, I know what you're saying. Anytime a podcast drops. And it's like, this is a recording from our live episode. I'm like, no thanks. No thanks. And also, oh, we've got a special guest. No, thank you.

But every now and then, the special guest is quite good. And I think you have proven yourself to be quite good. Yeah. Hi, right. Well, and you are the mayor of an old-timey podcast. So you basically have the power to come in here anytime you want and record an episode. Okay, you know what's funny, though, is. when Let's Go to Court ended, and I was the mayor of Let's Go to Court.

Very official title, yes. Old Timey podcast started, there was a question of, you know, what's the new title? And Norm said to me, you can be the Duchess. And I have never felt more important in all my life or more special. But now that we're talking about the Duchess of Windsor, I'm a little bit like, oh boy. Rather to be the mayor, wouldn't you? Maybe I'll stick with the mayor. Folks, reach out. Well, Kyle, you are welcome back anytime.

Thank you, Hose. Thank you. All right, should we wrap this up? Yeah. You know what they say about history, Hose? We always cite our sources. And we have a long pause. I was waiting.

I was thinking about Norm doing the plug for the socials. Oh, that happens after? We may want to take back that open invite. Yeah, now it's gone. Okay. Let's take it again. You know what they say about history hos? We always cite our sources.

That's right. And I got my information from That Woman, the Life of Wallace Simpson, Duchess of Windsor by Anne Seba. Countdown to Abdication, a very royal crisis. Duchess of Windsor, woman who stole a king's heart, Wikipedia. Trader King, the scandalous exile of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor by Andrew Launy. And disbelief from family of Simpson's lover from the BBC. Oh, that's all for this episode. Thank you for listening. to an old timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're at it, subscribe.

So, support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Join the Reddit community, our slash old-timey podcast. Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old Timey Podcast. You can also follow us individually on Instagram. She is the lovely Kristen Pitts Caruso. I go by a gaming historian. I finally posted something on my Instagram after, I think, a year. So check it out.

And until next time, to-to-loo, ta-ta, and cheerio. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.