An Old Timey Podcast - 118: What *Actually* Killed William Henry Harrison?

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

Poor ol’ William Henry Harrison. The dude has the odd distinction of giving the longest inauguration speech in American history, followed by the shortest presidency in American history. You might be familiar with the story: He gave a speech with no coat on, and as a result, caught pneumonia and died. But… was it really pneumonia that killed him?  Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from: “Did William Henry Harrison really die of pneumonia?” by Jay Serafino for Mental Floss“What really killed Willliam Henry Harrison?” by Jane McHugh and Philip A. Mackowiak for the New York Times“What killed William Henry Harrison?” The College of Physicians of Philadelphia“William Henry Harrison” history.com“In 1841, pneumonia killed the president in 31 days. His doctors were accused of incompetence.” by Ronald G. Shafer for The Washington Post“‘His Accidency’: The first president to die in office and the constitutional confusion that followed,” by Ronald G. Shafer for The Washington Post“Did William Henry Harrison really die from pneumonia?” by Christopher Klein for History.com“Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning, tests indicate,” by Eric Harrison for the Los Angeles Times“Verdict In: 12th president was not assassinated,” by Michel Marriott for The New York TimesAre you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts!Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm Normie C. And on this episode, I'll be talking about William Henry Harrison's very long speech and his very short presidency. Oh. Cute. You are on a presidential kick, me lady. I sure am. I sure am. And I hate it. It's going to be bad. But, you know, we've all got problems. This is mine. Hey, we pulled a little switcheroo. You're in my seat. I'm in your seat. Yeah, everyone, wake up people.

I'm at the soundboard. I've only done this once before. It was for a bonus episode, and I messed it up. But I am fully confident today. Oh, good job. She got the button pressed. I only had to do it two times. Did your sister inspire you?

Because she came in and did a two-part series for us. And she used the soundboard like a pro. She wasn't even afraid. She climbed to the top of that diving board and she jumped right off. Meanwhile, I was sitting there on the sidelines claiming that I'd eaten something 20 minutes earlier and therefore could not go up. It was a real thing. But I'm here now and I'm brave. We're all rooting for you, Kristen.

Don't worry. I am right here. If anything goes wrong. You're already doing a great job. Do you have a Patreon plug? or you're just going to sit there looking all cute? Oh, I do have Patreon plug. Folks, if you enjoy this small, sexy, independent podcast,

head on over to patreon.com slash old-timey podcast, and for just $5 a month, you get access to our entire bonus episode catalog, plus you get to chitty chat in the Discord with us. But if you're ready to take it to the next level, get on that $10 pig butter investor tier because you get ad-free video episodes. You get to play trivia with us. you get the bonus segment at the end of every episode called The Slop.

Are you running out of air? Yes. Yes. And you will supply me with oxygen. So patreon.com slash old time you podcast. Thank you very much for your support. Did you have it in your head? I can only stop and breathe, but so many times in a Patreon plug.

You know, when I'm just on a roll, I just got to keep talking. I got you. You know. Okay, here we go, folks. Welcome back to the worst series we've ever done on this podcast. What are you talking about? In this series, I go through the fun facts we all thought we knew, Norman, about the presidents, and then I tell you that, um, actually, nothing is fun and everyone has been lying to us.

In our first installment, we learned that, in fact, President William Howard Taft probably never got stuck in the White House bathtub and the only reason we ever believe that is because we're all jerks. We all wanted to believe, okay? In our second installment, I told you that George Washington's dentures were in fact not made out of wood, but instead were made in part out of human teeth. Human teeth that probably definitely for sure came from the people he enslaved. And maybe a hippo and a dog and possibly a cat. Possibly. So, folks, I've decided. that this will be the final episode in this series on fun presidential facts that aren't actually facts for the following reason. It sucks and I don't want to do it anymore.

Throwing in the towel, huh? Norman, researching this crap has left me heartbroken. I now know that the presidential fact book that I loved as a young child might as well have been called a presidential fiction book. In today's episode, I'll debunk a bunch of presidential stuff that I thought was true. But I must confess that the main subject of the episode today wasn't even something that I considered to be a fun fact. It was just a fact. One that, frankly, made me feel a little superior to our ninth president, Mr. William Henry Harrison, because I have never once given a speech outside without a,

a coat on, got really cold and died, and frankly, I don't plan to. You've never really been a fan of that presidential fact? No, I didn't even, I'm just saying, like, it didn't strike me as a fun fact because it was just a fact. Well, yeah, it's not fun if a guy dies. Like being stuck in a bathtub, right. Yeah. Yeah, it was really more sad than anything. Tragic, even.

A little, but also a little funny, because did you see what he was wearing? What was he wearing? Next to nothing, he was asking for it. Okay. If you can believe it, in the course of researching presidential fun facts, I discovered that even that one about William Henry Harrison giving a long-ass speech in the freezing cold with no hat and no coat, only to drop dead from pneumonia like 12 seconds into his presidency is not entirely true. But before we get into what actually killed William Henry Harrison, let's play a little game.

Oh, okay. I'm calling it. Operation Humble Norm. Humble Norm? Yeah, because Norman, I think you've been pretty smug about your ability to sort fact from fiction when it comes to U.S. presidents. Okay. How about we put it to the test, though? Okay, this is why I'm at the soundboard.

Oh, boy. Okay, I'm ready. Okay, here's how this works. In this game, I will read you 10 presidential fun facts. You tell me if they're true. Or false. Is this about William Henry Harrison or all the presidents? Could be about any president.

What the hell? What do you mean? Presidential fun facts that aren't just about one dude. Yeah, but this is an episode about William Henry Harrison. And also, it includes Operation Humble Norm, which we're all very excited about. Okay, go ahead. We don't like how smug you've been. You knew William Howard Taft didn't get stuck in that tub.

I knew that, yeah. Fun fact, number one. Gerald Ford used to be a model Fact or Fiction I know he played football But was he sexy while he played football? He was pretty good looking guy I'm gonna say true

It is true Hey He was hot as can be He was in Cosmo Cosmo Look it up Okay And don't get so turned on

That you can't keep recording Okay, it's happened before I was gonna ask What should I do if I get too turned on? We've got to stop. Oh, yeah. So that's him. So he was the model for that cover?

Yeah. Woo. But also, if you're just looking to be a little titillated, just Google Gerald Ford Young. Yeah, he was a hottie and like a really good football player, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all care a ton about football. Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. Goodness, these piercing eyes.

Okay, we don't have time for how hot you were, Gerald Ford. You ready for fact number two? Yep. Ulysses S. Grant got pulled over for speeding while he was president. True or false? Pulled over for speeding while he was president. I've never heard this one. And you've heard all the things.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm going to say false. Hmm. It's true, Norman. He was pulled over for speeding on a horse. Well, yeah, obviously. And he was fined $20. Adjusted for inflation, 500 smackerunies.

You know that cop was telling all his buddies after work what he had just done. And imagine my face. No one is above the law in this country, Kristen. Are you sure about that? Number three. Richard Nixon's favorite snack was cottage cheese with mustard. Mmm. Now please.

So two condiments, basically? Cottage cheese is not a condiment. That's basically a condiment. No, you are wrong. Yeah. You eat cottage cheese with chips. Well, that's just a fun thing I do because I'm from the Midwest. Don't make fun of my culture.

Well, that just sounds like a horrific combination. so I'm going to say false. Oh, wait. Oh, damn it. Oh. What I meant to say is this. Yes. It's so confusing.

I've got one button or another button. There are literally two buttons you can press. No, that was not his favorite snack. You want to hear what was? Yeah. Cottage cheese and ketchup. Ooh. I guess that's a little better.

That's worse than Watergate. Disgusting. I mean, honestly, like relative to. to what's going on today. Yeah, that is worse than Watergate. Fun fact number four. You're ready, big fella? Here we go. Harry Truman was the first president to pardon a turkey on Thanksgiving. False. How'd you know that? I feel like it was someone in 1800s that did that. No, you're way off. There's actually a pretty common rumor that it was Harry Truman, but the truth is that, yes, the Truman's received a live turkey for Thanksgiving,

and they killed it and ate it. Yeah, well, I mean, he was a farm boy. Of course he's going to do that. Yeah, he's not going to pardon a turkey. Hell no. Get out of here. No quarter for the turkey. Okay, number five.

Theodore Roosevelt once rode a bull moose. Well, he was in the bull moose party. Third party that failed. Um, false. Hey. Well done. Yes, Teddy Roosevelt did create his own political party, which he called the bull moose party.

But the idea that he actually wrote a bull moose came from a 1912 newspaper. They doctored up an image of him writing this bull moose. They also doctored up an image of his opponents, you know, William Howard Taft writing an elephant, Woodrow Wilson writing the donkey. It sounds adorable. Of course they put Taft on an elephant. Well, no, it's Democrats and Republicans. Oh, I was just saying, oh, he's a big dude.

Yeah, give him the elephant. You thought this was more fat shaming. Yeah, I thought they're fat-shaming poor William Howard Taft again. Now you're defending him about stuff that does not need a defense. Put him riding a great blue whale. So, yeah, for some reason, people thought that the image of Teddy Roosevelt was real. It was not. Yeah, a lot of tall tales about Teddy Roosevelt.

Fun fact number six. Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the train. Ooh. Mm. I have heard this. fun fact. Sure. True. Damn it. Yeah, I think he just like

did a little editing on the train, but it was already written. Yes, that's exactly right. He worked on that speech for months. You look so ashamed. Well, I'm a big Lincoln fan. I should have known that. But I've always loved that fun fact because it made me feel like, yeah, great writing. You don't have to put really much thought into it at all. Just jot it down on the back of a napkin on the way there. You're good. No, in fact, he worked on this speech for months. There are multiple drafts of it that still exist.

And it's one of the greatest speeches ever made in U.S. history. I don't know. I mean, did you hear my speech about how good cottage cheese and potato chips are together? Let's go and hear it. I never heard that speech. Wow. I deliver at least once a week around this house. Oh, you just walk around the house.

I must tune you out, I guess. Fun fact number seven. James Madison was 5 foot 4 That is true We know that We do know that I'm looking at the camera with a little bit of anger Because when we were trying to name this podcast

We had a bunch of different name selections My personal favorite I thought everyone was going to adore Was just the name James Madison was 5 foot 4 Yeah Just a fun quirky name for a podcast A history podcast I'd be kind of fun

We put it to a vote. I was very confident. And like four people chose it. It was like the least popular by far. Anyhow, I'm not bitter. Old Timey Podcast was the clear winner. Yes. Fun fact number eight.

Zachary Taylor's remains were exhumed in the 90s so that researchers could determine whether he died from poisoning. Hmm. I've never heard this. Hmm. Poisoning. Yeah. I've never heard of that, so I'm just going to say false.

Oh, interesting. Mm-hmm. It's true. Turns out he hadn't been poisoned. More on that later. Ooh. Number nine. I enjoy this one.

John Adams wanted the president to be referred to as, quote, His Highness, the President of the United States of America, and protector of the rights of the same. Oh, I feel like I've heard this one before. Yeah? But I also feel like it doesn't seem like John Adams would want that. But I have heard that before. I'm going to say true. Let's go out on my limb.

Yeah. Yes. It is true. He really fought for that while he was vice president. And it became something that people made fun of him for. And they mocked him so much that he threatened to resign as vice president. You better refer to me as highness when I become president one day. Well, it's like you just became your own country.

You left a monarchy. Why the hell would you want to call the president then? They were like, no, we moved away from that. And you're like, oh, what if we all wore crowns and had like cool robes and stuff? No, we got away from that. What if I had like a court jester? Uh-huh. And then like a bunch of people fed me grapes on like a chase lounge.

Yeah. Yeah, what about that? Yeah. Now the final question. Warren G. Harding had a dog named Gurley Boy. I don't know anything about Warren G. Harding. I don't know anything about his pets. But that is a great name.

What? If you didn't know anything about Warren G. Harding, but you were an expert on presidential pets. But I know everything about pets. That's a funny name. That is, I'm going to say true. It's false. His dog's name was ladyboy, and he apparently had his own chair at cabinet meetings. Hell yeah. So I got six out of ten? I think I got six out of ten.

This is proof that I should never host anything. I was not keeping track. I think I got six out of ten. I was keeping track. Don't worry. Okay, very good. Damn, I should have gotten that Lincoln one. Disappointed in myself. You know what? I have this in the script here, and it just fits. This concludes our first ever game of Operation Humble Norm. And there you are sitting there very sad. I've become humble.

Yeah. It's true. Damn. Okay. Are you okay over there? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, uh, I do love presidential fun.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And I'm not upset. It's cool. And I'm great. I'm not going to do a 40 part series on Lincoln now. Just to prove everything I know.

Yeah. Okay. Now for the meat. of this episode. Let's debunk a story we've all been told. It goes a little something like this. Poor old William Henry Harrison was so excited to be elected president that when his inauguration day came around, he scrolled too far in his script. He delivered an incredibly long speech on an incredibly cold day and he didn't wear a coat and he didn't wear a hat because he just didn't want to. and of course he caught a cold, and exactly one month after the inaugural address, he died,

all because he didn't wear a coat when it was cold outside. You sound really satisfied saying that. Norm. It's a little creepy. I've got a background with it. I was in the first grade when I heard that story. Every Friday, my teacher told us a different story about an American president. And I remember that when we were taught about William Henry Harris,

The lesson was, when someone tells you to put a coat on before you go outside, you should listen up and zip it up. Otherwise, you might catch a cold and die just like stupid William Henry Harrison. Jesus. But, according to researchers from the University of Maryland School of Medicine, maybe my first grade teacher was full of shit. So what actually killed William Henry Harrison? Well, let's start with the truth. When William Henry Harrison ran for president, he ran as a war hero. He'd done a bang-up job in the war of 1812.

He'd claimed he'd led his troops to victory in the Battle of Tippecanoe. Although anyone with any knowledge of that battle was like, Are we calling that a victory? Yeah. After he got his war stuff out of the way, he became a senator for Ohio. And then when Martin Van Buren was like, being president sure is great. I'd like a second term.

William Henry Harrison was like, I don't think so, honey. And he ran for president and he won. And even though good history hos know that Martin Van Buren looked like an old toad, people at the time, I mean, he did, were kind of concerned about William Henry Harrison.

Because get this, when he became president in 1841, he was an astonishing, 67 years old. Yeah, oldest man elected president up to that point. Yes. Granted, he was only the ninth president in American history, but still, he was the oldest, by far. Also, the last president that was not born a U.S. citizen.

You sure about that? Mm-hmm. I think you are wrong. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I think you're wrong. I think in an episode about presidential fun facts, you just dropped a falsehood. What?

Look it up. Oh, my God, if I'm right. Oh, I'm just going to queue up this. Come on, Kristen. We're all rooting for you. The last U.S. president, not born a U.S. citizen, was the ninth president, William Henry Harrison. Shut up, shut up. He was born in 1773 before the American Revolution.

So he was a subject of the British crown. Oh, come on. It's not a U.S. citizen. The U.S. wasn't a country yet. Okay, well. Anyhow, he was older than dirt, okay? That's what everyone was thinking. We all agree he was old when he was elected president.

He was the oldest person to ever live at 67. And in fact, that made American history. So he was the oldest dude who'd ever been president. And he actually kept that record for like a million years because it wasn't until 1980 that President Ronald Reagan beat that record. And who holds the record now? Well, obviously it's DT. Our huge fan of the pod.

Is it DT or Joe Biden? Well, I think it's Trump now. Donald Trump, yeah. He was 78. He broke the record previously held by Joe Biden, who was 77. Dear God. Anyway, all this to say that William Henry Harrison was old and not in perfect health. He had a history of severe indigestion.

But still, for his inauguration, William Henry Harrison was determined to put on a show, to really get out there and let the people know who he was without putting too many layers of fabric in between himself and the American people. His inauguration day was March 4, 1841, and it was cold. Some sources say it rained that day. Others say it snowed. True party poopers say that it was just, you know, kind of cold. Yeah. Despite the weather, a bunch of people came out to see their new president.

And William Henry Harrison did not disappoint. He knew what people were saying about him, that he was too old for the job, maybe a little too frail. They also said that he was just some dumb hick. They were so rude. Dumb hick. Well, I'm going to blame the victim a little here. His campaign, like they kind of tried to paint Martin Van Buren as like, oh, he's an aristocrat. Oh, he was born.

into riches and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Unlike William Henry Harrison, just a common man. Actually, the opposite was true. William Henry Harrison was born into a ton of money, a ton of influence. Yeah. His great grandpappy was BFFs with George Washington, something like that. So yeah, they had built this image of him as like, just a good old country boy. And then he had to be like, okay, well, now I got to kind of make sure people don't think I'm a good old country boy.

Yeah, he came, I feel like he came from a pretty well-to-do family in Virginia. Extremely wealthy, very politically connected. Yeah. Yeah, no, he was fine. Yeah, the only way you could call him country was he was from Virginia, I guess. So he's a southern boy. Yeah. Whatever.

So with his inauguration speech, he decided to show everyone how tough and smart he was by being naked as a J-bird and talking for forever. He wasn't naked That's what my mom used to say to me when I was a kid If I like went out without a coat on She'd be like, you're naked as a J bird Is that not a thing people say? I've never heard that before

Naked as a J bird Listeners reach out Did your mom accuse you of being like Or she'd be like you're half naked You're half naked? I've heard half naked But naked as a J bird Is that a Pitts family original? It cannot be

Naked as a J bird as a j-bird. Naked as a j-bird is a common American idiom, meaning completely nude or without any clothing. Yeah, suck on that, norm. Naked as a J-bird, it's a thing. Right, if you're nude, but

Henry William Henry Harrison wasn't completely naked giving a speech. Well, nobody likes to talk about it. These are the things that they cover up. They don't want you to know that he was completely naked when he gave that speech. This is what Trump's talking about how, like, we don't learn this.

and history class. They're trying to censor the greatness of America. You know? The greatness of William Henry Harrison's dawn on a cold March day. That's right. So he talked. And boy, did he talk. He gave what remains the longest inauguration speech in American history.

The man talked for two damn hours. That's too long, man. Oh, without question. It's torture. It's way too long. No one wants to hear anyone talk for two hours. Our podcast is. Except this podcast.

Except for this podcast. Yeah, don't turn this podcast off. I can't believe I was saying that with my whole chest. His speech was 8,445 words long. He talked about everything. And it's a good thing he did because one actual fun fact about him is that although he had the longest inauguration speech. He also had the shortest presidency.

So this is kind of how we figured out what he might have maybe wanted to do. It's like on the Simpsons when Grandpa Simpson was talking about tying an onion to his belt. He just rambled and rambled and rambled. Maybe that's what Henry Harrison was doing. You know what? Yeah, that's not a good thing. You're giving a vibe like you're an old man on a front porch just talking. Exactly.

He told people that he was a good dude. who totally didn't want to abuse the office of the president. He'd be a one-term boy. He wouldn't go wild vetoing everything like some asshole. Also, Martin Van Buren sucks. Won't be like him. Andrew Jackson sucks. Won't be like him either.

You're going to love me. Yeah, I'm in the wig party, baby. And I know people have a lot to say about slavery. and I have so many opinions, just like a bunch of opinions. I'm just oozing with them. And I'm a good guy, and you can trust me. But I'm actually an enslaver myself. And I don't believe in states' rights.

Because if one state tells another state what to do, then that might be a real threat to freedom. And I care about freedom. Wow. He really put himself out there saying that. Also, I think paper money is cool. Finally, someone says it. Oh, it was a hell of a speech.

Ask anyone who stood in the cold and listened to an old guy talk for two hours straight. The only thing they wished for is that the old guy had kept talking. They were probably like, please bring me sweet death. Oh, my gosh. After his speech ended, William Henry Harrison attended three different inaugural balls. He shook so many hands. And oh, my land, stop me if this sounds familiar. But did you know that back in this time period, if you wanted to meet the president, you could just walk into the White House and start talking?

Who knew? Yeah. William Henry Harrison was very overwhelmed by the number of people who showed up every day, everywhere he went, wanting him to. to give them a job. Consult to Paris, anyone? Ooh. Shit, why am I drawing a blank on his name? Wow, so rude.

Charles Gatto. You know what? I now understand that the problem with that series that I did was it wasn't long enough because you didn't commit it to memory. Charles Gatot, my bad. It was only seven parts. And as I was saying, no one wants to hear one person talk for like two hours. So, anyway, it was exhausting.

He wanted to escape. And it's true that he didn't always escape in the best outfit. On March 24th, just a few weeks into his presidency, he went on his daily walk at sunrise, and he didn't wear a coat or a hat. The story goes that he got caught in a rainstorm, and when he got back to the White House, he didn't immediately change out of his wet clothing.

And a few days later, he began to feel off. Lowered your immune system. Were you always a coat boy? didn't have to be told. A coat boy. Define that. I mean, like, as a kid, I never wanted to wear my coat. I was the same way.

Okay, but you grew up in North Carolina, so I guess that wasn't really much of a problem. Well, I grew up in Scotland as well. Oh, that's true. Okay. Yeah, you need that coat. Yeah, and I didn't like wearing a coat. Yeah. Got too hot.

You were always out there giving speeches. Coateless. Make it as a J-Bird. That's right. So William, Henry Harrison's feeling a little off. He called his doctor. He told the doctor that he was feeling anxious and fatigued.

The doctor gave him some medicine, and the medicine seemed to work. But the next day the doctor came back and found that the president had a severe chill. So the doctor put a mustard plaster on the president. What? Severe chill. I would love to be in a state of severe chill. Just like laying on the couch, you know, watching Colum. You know, eating, eating chips.

Sorry, when I thought of severe chill, I just thought. I'm just thinking, in all the time I've known you, I don't know that I've ever seen you in a state of severe chill. I know. I feel like you and I are wired to not ever experience that. I long for it, you know. There's this thing called marijuana, Norm. I can't. It makes me paranoid.

What if you tried it again? No. This time with feeling. I won't do it. I've been clean for... I've been clean. I've been off the devil's lettuce for six years, I think. Okay.

Well, I guess you'll just have to watch Colombo, meditate, and have a nice dose of magnesium. Oh, magnesium. Great. So he has a severe chill. And then the doctor... Did you say a mustard platter? The doctor prescribed him a mustard platter? Is that what?

you said? No, I said mustard plaster, which also sounds ridiculous, but I love the idea of a platter of different mustard. This is a Dijon. Here's a classic yellow, sir. Now, this is just Frenches and people sometimes shit on it, but I think it's great. No, they used to use it for aches and pains and to relieve chest congestion. And that's when they would stick the platter of mustard on your chest. You use that rim shot sound. Oh, folks, you're just going to have to do that at home. I can't operate the soundboard. What the fuck? Nope.

That's not it. There you go. The doctor also gave the president a laxative because, you know, why not? Hey, pooping usually makes you feel better. If you were his doctor, this is what you'd be doing, huh? You'd been hosing him down with mustard and telling him to sit on the toilet for a while. I want you to sample all these musters. I want you to chug this me relax and then go sit on the toilet.

Later, at about 4 a.m. on Sunday, the White House called the doctor again. This time, the president said that he had severe pain in his side, and the doctor gave him some medicine, which induced vomiting. The doctor did a little bloodletting, which was good because the president was just full of blood. Too much blood. Too much. We've all got too much of it. On Monday, they called in a team of doctors. William Henry Harrison was not getting better. So they gave him opium. Ooh, that'll make them feel better. And alcohol.

Nice. Yeah, I've got a severe pain in my side. Feels kind of intestany. How about I have alcohol? How about a couple of Yeager bombs? Yeah, yeah, that'll settle my stomach. On April 3rd, William Henry Harrison experienced torrential diarrhea. like you wouldn't believe.

Or maybe you would believe it if you've had some of the lettuce lately. He had the pea butt poos? He had the pee butt poos. Oof. I guess those laxatives kicked in. He became delirious. His vice president, John Tyler,

was not in the room with him, but it is believed that his final words were intended for his vice president when he said, Sir, I wish you to understand the true principles of government. I wish them carried out. I ask no more. William Henry Harrison died on April 4th, 1841. He'd been in office for just 32 days.

At the time, the president's doctor told the world that William Henry Harrison died from, quote, pneumonia of the lower lobe of the right lung, complicated by congestion of the liver. But even back then, the doctor wasn't certain. He wrote that the president wasn't taken down by a pure case of pneumonia. Yes, the president developed pneumonia, but the doctor was uneasy about ruling out any other cause of death. He just knew that pneumonia would answer a lot of questions. Yeah. And it did. Which was good because with the first president to ever die in office, now dead, we had a new question to answer.

Namely, who's in charge around here? Well, the vice president. Okay, that's what I said. But get this. There was a real panic. because this had never happened before and there was a lot of controversy. So, brief thing on the Constitution, the Constitution said, quote, in case of the removal of the president from office or of his death,

resignation or inability to discharge the powers and duties of the said office, the same shall devolve on the vice president. So what did that mean? To John Tyler, it meant he was the president now. But people who didn't like John Tyler, and even some who did were like, well, dude, you're not actually president. You're more like the acting president. Oh, okay.

The technicality. That's ridiculous. A technicality that, I mean, yeah. So Congress debated the issue, and it wasn't until a couple months later in June of that year that they confirmed that John Tyler was president with a capital P. So the vice president acting as president, not technically the president. me think of like when like a big important position opens up at like a college or university and they have the interim person step in and it's like we like you but we don't love you so that set the precedent that we now follow which is good but hashtag never forget john tyler actually sucked and totally supported the confederacy it also set the president Hey

John Tyler Had a lot of kiddos One of his grandsons died like what two years ago Yeah something like that That's another fun fact Another fun fact that is true But back to the story Norm

As far as presidents go William Henry Harrison If he's remembered at all Is remembered in a kind of joky way The dude gave a speech with no Code on, died 12 seconds later. Sad, but kind of funny. I died in 30 days. For more than a hundred years, William Henry Harrison's death has been, at worst, a joke and at best, a cautionary tale about the importance of good outerwear. But in the year of Our Lord 2014, researchers from the

University of Maryland School of Medicine did some digging and discovered that William Henry Harrison probably did not die from pneumonia. So what killed him? An assassin's bullet. Oh my God, it was a bullet the whole time. We thought the alcohol would help, but it didn't. They just thought all that blood was from his pee butt poos. Well, in my very short, super concise, not at all wordy series on President James Garfield,

I described the conditions of the White House when he moved in. Conditions were awful. But as it turned out, they were nothing. compared to what William Henry Harrison dealt with because, get ready to be disgusted people. Prior to 1850, all of Washington, D.C. dumped its sewage into a marsh, and that marsh was a mere seven blocks upstream from the White House's water supply. Uh-oh. In episode 97 of this podcast titled The Great Stink of 1858,

brought us the incredible breaking news that drinking poop water can kill you. Who knew? I think I speak for everyone when I say that I'll never drink a glass of water again without first checking for poop. Very good. See, what we talk about here makes a real difference. Yeah, we probably saved some lives with that episode. With that groundbreaking knowledge that we shouldn't drink poop water, modern day researchers have posited that perhaps it was the White House drink.

drinking water that made William Henry Harrison so sick. That disgusting water was likely teeming with all kinds of nasty bacteria, bacteria that would have absolutely caused him to develop typhoid fever. Oh, yeah. His history of indigestion would have made him even more vulnerable to typhoid fever than the average person. Because back then, in order to treat indigestion, most doctors prescribed carbonated alkali, which might have worked fine for indigestion, but would have completely neutralized the gastric acid that he would have desperately needed

to kill the bacteria in the White House drinking water. Was that like Alka-Seltzer? I don't know what it was, and I'm not even confident in my pronunciation. I mean, carbonated, I think I killed it and smashed it. You destroyed it. No notes. And what makes this worse is even if his doctor suspected that William Henry Harrison was suffering from typhoid fever,

there wouldn't have been much he could have done about it. There was no cure for it back then. But what that doctor did end up doing, unfortunately, just made everything so much worse. In this doctor's defense, I think he was doing his best. He was following what would have been standard medical procedures at that time. Yeah.

He gave the president some opium, which unfortunately inhibits the intestine's ability to get rid of harmful bacteria and virus. Ouch. So, um... Yep. Yep. On top of that, the doctor gave William Henry Harrison, dare I say, way too many enemas.

Enemas? Too many of them! So that's bad because the bacteria he likely had in his system would have produced ulcers. And those ulcers could have been easily perforated during the course of an enema. And that would have made the president very vulnerable to sepsis. Talk about enema of the state. Oh, that is cheesy, terrible. We hate it. Kind of love it. When he died, William Henry Harrison had a low pulse. His arms and legs were cold and blue.

Those are all signs of septic shock. In other words, the researchers came to the conclusion that William Henry Harrison likely died from typhoid fever caused by the White House drinking water and eventually from sepsis. And they came to that conclusion partly because William Henry Harrison wasn't the only president who suffered with those symptoms. Oh, who else? Did John Tyler get sick to? Here we go. James K. Polk and Zachary Taylor also served as presidents during this time period. And they also had severe stomach issues. James K. Polk survived his, but Zachary Taylor did not.

Mm-hmm. Which brings us back to the not-so-fun fact that I brought up during Operation Humble Norm, where he only got six of the questions right and totally missed the one on Abraham Lincoln, which is fine because he knows nothing about Abraham Lincoln. Hashtag mistakes a shame. So I mentioned that in the 90s, researchers exhumed Zachary Taylor's body to determine whether he died from poisoning. Why did they do that?

Well, Zachary Taylor died in office. He'd only served as president for like a year and a half when on July 4th, 1850, he attended a bunch of super fun 4th of July festivities. He walked back to the White House, tired, maybe a little overheated. And when he got back, legend has it that he absolutely pigged out on cherries and iced milk. Went hog wild on him. What a meal. And then he began to suffer.

from severe stomach cramps. He died five days later from what was thought to be gastroentitis. For years, people found Zachary Taylor's sudden death suspicious. Perhaps he'd been assassinated by his political opponents. That theory gained a whole bunch of traction 90 years after his death when a historical novelist began working on a book about him. And she noted that before his death, he'd been vocally opposed to making the new Western states, slave states.

And that, of course, made him a lot of enemies. She also noted that some of the symptoms he experienced during his final days could have been explained as arsenic poisoning. Hmm. So the theory, there was a theory that some, like, southern sympathizer poisoned him. Mm-hmm. It was a hot topic at the time. Slavery or iced cherries.

The expansion of slavery. Yeah. So this writer found some of Zachary Taylor's descendants. And according to them, they never really suspected he'd been poisoned, never believed it. But they decided, hey, okay, we'll exhume his body and settle the issue once and for all. Yeah, why not? I feel like it's a big decision. Eh, you dig them up.

Okay. What's it? That could be, like, that could change history. I mean, yeah, it would be very illuminating. That would be massive if he was actually assassinated. You're right. You're right. From a poisoning.

That would be huge. Yeah. So in the summer of 1991, they exhumed his body. They opened up the crypt in Louisville, Louisville, Louville. Were there a bunch of cherry pits in his coffin? Because they bear. He buried him alive. All of our subjects are coming together. Yeah.

A medical examiner took some hair, fingernails, and bone scrapings, and tested them for traces of arsenic. And he did find some arsenic. But it was a normal amount. The medical examiner later explained. I'm sorry, you wanted him to be poisoned by some... I wanted some drama in my history. Well, there's plenty. That would have shaken things up.

So he found a normal amount of arsenic. The medical examiner later explained to the press that if Zachary Taylor had really died from poisoning, the amount of arsenic found in his body all these years later would have been anywhere from 200 to several thousand times higher than what they actually found. Where do you get arsenic from? Certain foods, I guess. Well, so you used to be able to just buy it at your local dry goods store, but then people started dropping dead. and, you know, someone with someone they didn't like in their life would be like, oh, I've got a big rat problem, like a huge rat problem, like a 200-pound rat, you know. Yeah, they're all in the cracker barrel feasting away.

Could you really just buy arsenic? Yeah. Man. I'm sure you probably can today, but we should probably stop talking about it. How scary. Can't get arsenic anymore at Walmart. This country's gone to hell. You'll just have to settle for a gun.

I'll just have to get a gun instead. In conclusion, William Henry Harrison should have definitely worn a coat to his inauguration, but it wasn't the thing that killed him. And it's kind of weird that Zachary Taylor went hog wild on cherries and iced milk, but it twasn't the combo of fruit and dairy, nor the assassin's poison, that killed him. In both these cases, and in many more, I'm sure, the real culprit was that for far too long, the White House's drinking water was also the local sewer. and I patiently wait for the day

when they put that in a children's presidential fun fact book. I mean, that's a fun fact to me. It's wild, isn't it? Yeah, I think that's pretty interesting. Well, Kristen, have you had enough of presidential fun facts?

Yes, this has been ruined for me. Actually, I probably would love some more. I can't ever truly give it up. If someone was like, hey, did you know, I would have to know the rest of it. whatever it is. Okay. Hey, history hose, go ahead and slam the comment section with Presidential Fun Facts that Kristen should look into.

I know she'll see one and be like, oh, I got to know more about that. Yeah, yeah, truly. Very good. Well, should we get into the slop? I think we should. Okay. Speaking of poisoning, today on the slop, we're going to talk about a documentary we watched called Toxic Love Story.

I also want to talk about a couple others. We watched Maternal Instinct. We watched Crash. I think that was the name of it. Yep. I've got thoughts. So we're going to do three true crime documentaries from Netflix. I think they're all on Netflix.

I think so too. Yeah. I don't think I didn't watch all of Maternal Instinct. But Kristen is a true crime aficionado. She used to have a podcast all about true crime. It's true. So you're going to get an expert opinion. Oh, wow.

Yeah. On these documentaries. So let's get into it. Folks, we just wrapped up a fun segment of the Slop where we gave our opinions on three Netflix documentaries. And Kristen told a story about a ladies cooter getting clobbered. It is kind of, we did do a weird segment of the Slop where we talked about three like really horrific documentaries, really serious stuff, really brought. the mood down. And then, yeah, I did retell the time from during COVID times when I saw that lady on a bike and she didn't know how to bike anymore because it had been too long and she

smashed her cooter up real good when she went off the curb. But I, um, here's a weird segue for you. What? We've got an announcement to make. We do have an announcement to make. Do you want to do it? Do it? I did it in the bonus episode, so you do it on the main feed. Everyone, listen up. We're big time now. We have my co-consum. Cousin Madeline as an employee. Cousin Madeline. She is our social media manager. She is incredible.

She just gave us a kick-ass merch idea that I am obsessed with. Yeah. I don't know how much I should say about it. Well, first of all, welcome to Madeline. Cousin Madeline. She will be, she's actually been posting stuff on Instagram and Facebook for us. She's going to be posting in our subreddit. And, you know, we just kind of wanted to let you all know so that you know who, who this random woman is.

Yeah. And I think her username everywhere is just cousin Madeline. So you'll know who it is. As it should be. But she's, so she's got a lot of expertise. She's been in the biz for like, was it 10 years? Yeah. Yeah.

So she, she knows her stuff. She gave us an idea for merch. It's great. It's a history hose shirt for people who are subtle hoes. You don't want to flon it too much, you know? Yeah, like you're a lady in the streets and a history hoe in the sheets is what this t-shirt will tell everyone. Yeah, and she came out with some great ideas for patches. Yeah.

So we've gotten a lot of requests for patches and pins and stickers, and so we might make some of those up too. All this to say, I think cousin Madeline is listening to you all. She cares because really we've just been like, hey, if you can, you know, think of some captions and whatever. And she's like, cool. And also, here's an amazing merch idea. We're like, oh, okay. Yeah. So welcome to Cousin Madeline.

Everyone say hello to her. Welcome. I didn't give you a place to say hello. Say it out loud. Hello, Cousin Madeline, wherever you are. That's right. Doesn't matter if you're in a library. Do it.

Don't be rude. If you're in Lina, Burger King, just say it. Hello, cousin Madeline. Some woman named Madeline's like, oh, hi. You're not my cousin. Well, Kristen, should we wrap up this episode of an old-timey podcast? Yes, we shall. So you're done with the fun facts.

Probably not because I really enjoy fun facts. And this, I've noticed it was kind of a short episode. And I'm like, gosh, maybe I should have done a deeper dive into more of these fun facts. Don't make me sing. You know what I'm saying? You know, we have Meaty Boy episodes. So those are the big episodes. What do we call a short episode?

Yeah, what should we call them? Little shorties. Little shorties. Oh, no, like a little cocktail weenie. I know. Little weenies. Teeny weenies. Well, you know what?

It's a good thing that this episode wasn't too long because I talked all that shit about William Henry Harrison talking for two hours straight. And I'm looking at our record time right now. And with the slop, you know, it's like an hour 20. Okay. Okay, okay. Not bad. Not bad.

So, should we wrap this episode up? Yeah. Let's do it. You know what they say about history hoes? We always cite our sources. That's right. For this episode, I got my information from Mental Floss, PBS, the LA Times, the New York Times, History.com, and more.

Check the show notes for a full list of our sources. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're at it, subscribe. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Join the Reddit community R slash Old Timey Podcast

Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old Timey Podcast You can also follow us individually on Instagram I'm at Kristen Pitts-Keruso and he's at Gaming Historian And until next time, Tootaloo, Tata, and Cheerio Bye!

Bye! I did it! Good job, Kristen! Bye! Bye! See ya!