An Old Timey Podcast - 41: The Gay Jesus Movie Hoax

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

T’was an OUTRAGE! An Illinois-based company was working on a film about Jesus Christ. The problem? The film would portray Jesus as a drunk bank robber, a “swinging homosexual,” and a big fan of Hitler. Oh, and he’d also be depicted as having an affair with Mary Magdalene. … wouldn’t the affair with Mary Magdalene make him bisexual, you ask? DON’T ASK QUESTIONS. In fact, don’t bother fact checking any of this! This is all about rage, baby! Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from: “Will Jesus Be Portrayed as Homosexual in an Upcoming Film?” By Barbara Mikkelson for Snopes.com “That Jesus sex movie never existed,” by William Simbro for The Des Moines Register “‘Jesus Sex Film’ rumor draws letters from 200,000 people,” by Carol Armstrong for the Dayton Daily News “Crusade revives war on non-existent sex film,” by William Simbro for The Des Moines Register “Jesus sex movie rumor hits state,” by Bernie Schoenburg for The Pantagraph “‘Sex life of Jesus’ hoax snares Lodi mayor’s paper,” by Rod Leith for The Record “Censor receives complaints about non-existent film depicting Christ as gay,” by Glenn McConnell for Stuff.com “The Jesus sex film scandal,” by Wayne Dean for The Sydney Morning Herald “No U.S. producer found for blasphemous movie,” by Stan Hastey for the Associated Press Are you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts! Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm here with a friendly reminder that Valentine's Day is coming up. It's Norman Caruso. And on this episode, I'll be talking about gay Jesus? Gay Jesus. That's right. That's right. I'm not even going to ask. I'm just going to let you tell the story. Fat chance, bro. Because we've got a story. start this off with a Patreon plug and I'm leaving that to you my darling. Hey, I always do the Patreon plug. I always come through in the clutch.

I'm like the LeBron James of podcasting. Never heard of him, but continue. So I have a shirt idea. I want to run it by you. Sure. Okay, what do you think of this? It's a shirt with just text and it says, I listen to small, independent, sexy podcasts.

Ooh, I like that. In like our vintage 70s souvenir font. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that would be a good idea. Yeah. Because not only am I talking about an old-timey podcast, I'm talking about all the small, sexy, independent podcasts out there. What if the proceeds of the shirt went to small independent sexy podcasts?

And, you know, everybody thinks it's great. They think it's a great idea because that sounds great. But then they find out that their other favorite podcasts didn't make the cover. because they're not sexy enough. And then it turns into a big problem. And we actually decide who's sexy enough. Absolutely. And then people are like, well, you two aren't really sexy enough.

And then we get really mad and really immature. Oh, man. Could be the downfall of this whole operation. It sounds like a lot more work than I was anticipating. I just wanted to make a new t-shirt. But anyway, if you enjoy what we're doing here and you want to help out, a small, sexy, independent podcast, please consider supporting us over on patreon.com slash old-timey podcast.

As a non-threatening fan at the $5 level, you'll get monthly bonus episodes with full video and access to our Discord server. A lot of pictures of the WeenieMobile going around right now in our Discord server. At the $7 level, you'll become what all people strive to be, Kristen, a history ho. Where you'll get everything I just mentioned plus a signed thank you card. and access to our monthly trivia parties, which are a ton of fun. But if you feel like your life is dull and you're looking for a new direction in life, you've got to get in on the most exciting new dairy product on the market.

And I'm talking about the $10 pig butter investor tier. You'll get everything in the previous tiers plus early ad-free episodes with full video, 10% off all of our merch, and ad-free episodes of Kristen's vintage true crime. podcast, let's go to court. So head on over to patreon.com slash old-timey podcast to sign up. Thank you very much. I noticed you called it the weenie mobile. Is it the weiner mobile?

I thought so, but I know you have a great passion for the weiner-mobile. It's like tomato tomato. Weenie-mobile, weiner-mobile. You know what I'm talking about when I say it, don't you? I do. And I got to say, you really started us off right by talking about weaners for this. episode because it's just jam-packed full of them. You're going to have a problem with this episode. Too many weaners, you know, not enough buns, the ratios off. We've all seen Father of

the Bride. Wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. The trains left the station, Norm. Please do not ask questions. Hang on. ADD. Lady. What joke and father of the bride about hot dogs and buns? How do you not remember? I've never seen it. Oh, my God, Norman. I've seen five movies.

How is it possible that the five movies I've seen are the five on earth that you have not? Okay, Steve Martin, he's paying way too much for this wedding, very stressful, big deal. He's starting to lose it. And I can't remember what the exact math was, but he goes to the supermarket to buy hot dogs and buns. He discovers that there are like eight hot dogs per package, but there are only six. of the bun, so it's a big scheme to have to get you to buy extra. I think you have it the other way around, but yes. Okay, you haven't even seen the movie, sir.

You've actually talked to me about this scene before. You've never even eaten a hot dog, they say. That's not true. Everybody, I have to confess something. My father was a hot dog. Okay. I don't even know what that means. I've experienced with hot dogs.

Oh, I see, I see. Everybody, this, in case you couldn't tell, is the third, count of one. to three episode we have recorded in like six days and it shows. Yeah, it's been a wild and crazy week here at old timey headquarters. We have to play catch up because last week I was out of town dealing with my grandmother's passing and we had to do the funeral arrangements and go through her stuff and do all that not so fun stuff. So this week we've been playing catch up and trying to get back on schedule.

And we're doing great. The wheels are not about to fall off. I'm not about to fall asleep right now. Don't worry about it. I've got so much coffee next to me. So much coffee. Kristen has been staying up until like 4 a.m. I have.

Watching the traitors. It's a great show. Don't worry about it. I have lots to say, but I'm keeping it inside, okay? Because I'm trying to be a professional here. I'm trying to keep it together. Is something on me, by the way? No, I know.

I'm just admiring your body. Oh my God. Well, okay, I must confess in our last episode that we recorded, and, sir, this is your fault a little bit. I had a piece of glitter on my nose the entire time. Glitter? Yeah. Where did it come from? I don't know.

I do not know. I'm not a kindergarten teacher. I'm also not a stripper. So those are the only reasons why I could possibly have glitter on myself, right? And yet there it was. Was glitter popular when you're in high school? Like putting it on your cheeks and stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I hate glitter. Well, okay. It just gets everywhere. It's like sand. You can never get rid of it. It's true. Yeah, I don't think it's that cool. Okay, well, sorry all you glitter enthusiasts.

But that little glitter on your nose, it was adorable, so I didn't want to say anything. Did you see it? No, I legit didn't see it. Do you have any idea what I'm about to talk about? Gay Jesus is all I got out of that, so. Buckle up, my dude, this is really going to be something. Picture it. It's 1973. And Danish writer slash director slash provocateur, Yenz Jorgon Thorsen had just announced plans for his latest film, tentatively titled The Love Affairs of Jesus Christ.

Huh. By that point, Yens was pretty prolific. He'd made 25 films. He'd written 12 books. And, you know, he'd made a name for himself for being pretty obnoxious. For example, one time at an exhibition for the Danish Academy of Fine Arts, Yens popped out of a coffin, fully nude, holding a box of mice, which he then proceeded to release all over the fancy people at the exhibition. So is this, like, art for him? or what is this exactly?

I mean, what else could you call it when you jump naked out of a coffin and throw mice at people? Obviously, it's art. Uh-huh. Just seems really annoying. All right. Well, clearly you're not very cultured in the arts. Let me tell you another one. Maybe it's a Danish thing or something.

Maybe. Yeah. Any Danes listening to this podcast? Write in and let us know if you've ever jumped out of a coffin naked through mice at people. or they're like that's just a Tuesday. Yeah. Another time, and okay, full disclosure, we're going to have to trust Wikipedia on this one because the source article is in Danish. And guess what I don't speak?

You don't speak hinga dinga dergan? Oh, wow. All those Danish letter writers just threw their letters into the fire and turned off an old-timey podcast. I guess that's more Swedish. But anyway, the love affairs of Jesus Christ. Norm, I'm in the most. middle of telling you about some antics. I'm sorry, I, every sentence you say, I'm like, what, what? I'm like perplexed. I do like that you're trying to like gauge, okay, well, when do I react?

Because this is all pretty weird. I see it on your face. Yeah, everything you've said is bizarre. Yeah. Anyway. This other antic, Yens once appeared on a magazine cover as a crucified Santa Claus. And Norm, I can tell you're asking yourself, well, but what about the crucified Santa Claus's dong? What about that? Great news. I've got an answer. He had a canon for a dick. A canon? Sure. Yeah. Okay, like a literal canon or he just had a huge penis? Well, my God. I assume it was just... Is it a euphemism or... I assumed it was more like cartoony maybe, but I, to be fair, I've not seen the image. And again, this was not written in my native tongue. But I don't think it was a euphemism. Okay, so it was a literal canon.

Sure. Where his dong was. Sure. Okay. All this to say that Yens love to provoke. He was so edgy, so cool, not at all dushy. If you don't laugh, it's not because he isn't funny. It's because you're too sensitive.

That's what I say. Yeah, sounds like a lot of comedians today. Honestly, it gives me vibes of like 2002 middle school boy who does the get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich joke ironically. And we all have to laugh. Otherwise, you don't have a good sense of humor. Yeah, that's what it's giving to me. You'll be pleased to hear that his forthcoming Jesus film was shaping up to be his most controversial work today. And good news!

He'd recently secured funding from the Danish government to begin making the film. And that is pretty wild when you consider what the film was going to be about. Yet do tell, because I'm pretty sure Jesus... Did Jesus ever have a wife? No. Her girlfriend? Oh my God, Norm. Or Lava?

Everyone, you're going to figure out real quick. Norm went to Catholic Church for like a couple years and he didn't pay a... bit of attention. I don't remember a thing. Meanwhile, meanwhile, Sunday school, church, youth group, the works for me. And you can tell because I'm so classy. And I live my life in a very Christian way. She's a god-fearing woman. Yep. I'm afraid of how many dongs are in this script. That's how you know I'm a god-fearing woman. The way Yen's envisioned it, the movie would be a porno. A porn. A porno about Jesus Christ. What?

Yeah, it's what we've all been asking for. Now, does the Danish government know this is going to be a porn? Norm. Yeah, they gave the funding. They understand it's going to be controversial. It's always interesting about governments, like, giving money for creative endeavors. Canada is big on that. It's funny, to my American ass, I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

But, I mean, this is a thing in other countries. Yeah. I remember when I was like, I don't know, late 90s, early 2000s, Cartoon Network would have a segment of cartoons. And it was called O Canada. And it was just Canadian cartoons that the Canadian government, like, sponsored. And they were, they were weird. It was like I was like watching a bizarro cartoon. I don't know.

It was strange. How much porn wasn't it? No porn. It was a children's television. program. Okay, well, that seems weird. If only the Danish folks had gotten involved. This would not be a regular porno. Oh, no. This one would have a truly thrilling plot line. It would include scenes in which our Lord and Savior would rob a bank, get super drunk, bang John the Baptist, bang Mary Magdalene. And if you're thinking, whoa, hey, dude, can

Consider the envelope pushed. Well, grab a paperclip, baby, because we're going to push the envelope even harder. I realize paperclip doesn't really make sense there, but, you know. Grab a paper clip. So not only is he going, is Jesus going to be banging people. He's going to rob a bank and get drunk, too. Sure. Why not?

This is a controversial film. Jens film wouldn't just feature Jesus being a big old ho. Oh, no. It would also include a scene in which. Jesus would be surrounded by sex workers. In it, the sex workers would rip off his clothes. All the while, Jesus would chant, Prophet save us.

God Hare Krishna. Hallelujah. Red front. Heil Hitler. What the f? Uh-huh. I hate it. I hate it.

This is just like weird art for weirdness sake. I... And he's going to say there's some deep meaning behind it. I don't think this. Oh, God. I hate getting into our... I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I find this completely annoying. Annoying. Annoying. Why? Because I think... Okay, I just said that to me it's giving 2002 middle school boy get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich. Something that is said just to provoke.

It doesn't add anything. It doesn't really. Really, well, I can't argue that it doesn't do anything because it does get the rage going. God damn it. Sounds like someone's a little jealous. Jealous. That they didn't come up with the love affairs of Jesus Christ first. No, I think this is stupid and annoying.

Of course, once word got out about this film, a lot of Danish people were like, wait, what? Our government funded this? What the hell? No, we don't want this. Later, when Yens announced plans to film the movie in France, the French government was like, All contrary, vo le vocuche, get the hell out of here. Wow, perfect French, Kristen. The outrage got so bad that the Pope felt compelled to weigh in.

He called the proposed film a blasphemous outrage. Though, to be fair, he also called the practice of shuffling child molesters from town to town, quote, totally fine and none of your business. So. I, out of all the sounds I have on this sound word, I have the rim shot ready to go all the time. For your little clips like that. Yeah. Norm, I don't mean to make you upset, but poor Yens was having a little trouble getting his movie made.

So he tried other countries. I'm surprised the Danish government didn't require. him to film it in Denmark. That is a hilarious point to bring up. Oh, is it going to come up later? No, I just think it's funny

that you think that the problem would be, hey, hey, if you're going to film this movie where Jesus is banging literally everybody, Robin Banks and saying Heil Hitler, you better do it in our hometown. Okay, hang on.

Shut up. Hang on. If they're going to fund this movie, he needs to film it in his home country. They're going to give him all this money and then he gets to go film it somewhere else? That's not fair. That's not a good use of taxpayer money. If you're going to buy these drugs, you're going to have to snort all of them right now right in front of me. Well, that's not a good analogy. So he tried other countries.

Oh, just ignoring. Okay, whatever. Yeah, he tried other countries. How about Great Britain? Well, that was so outrageous that Queen Elizabeth broke protocol and, through a spokesperson, gave her opinion on this thing, which is something that the Royals do not do. The Queen is commenting on this movie that hasn't even been made yet? Yeah. She said she found the whole thing obnoxious, which I think is the perfect word for it.

It's obnoxious. Everything about this movie, where it would be filmed. how it was funded, where it would air, became a topic of angry conversation. People were outraged. There were protests. It affected the Danish election because politicians opposed this unmade film as part of their platform. Are you serious? Hell yeah, I'm serious.

People were pissed. People were running for government office on this issue. Part of it, sure. And this film isn't even made yet. Right. Stop the thing that hasn't been made because it's such a terrible idea. Well, this guy is getting all the press. Yeah.

He's channeling his PT Barnum right now. He's getting all the attention in all the world. And he just hates it. I just want to make my movie. I jump out of a coffin naked with mice because I'm shy. Eventually, the Danish government withdrew funding. for the film. But that opened up another can of worms. Yens engaged them in a legal battle, and at some point, as all of this dragged on, Yens floated the idea of bringing his brilliant film

to the U.S. of A. USA. USA. Bring us that porn. You know, because we're so free here. He thought, they've got freedom of speech. They have freedom of the press. Surely I can make my film in America. Absolutely. Hmm. It does appear that he got some traction with the idea, but I mean, the tiniest amount of traction. Ultimately, he couldn't find a producer. So, Bing, Bang, Boom, we're done.

And personally, I think this guy was way more interested in making headlines than actually making this film. So far, yeah. But, you know, if headlines were what he wanted, mission accomplished baby. because yeah, some U.S. media outlets wrote about this proposed film, and one of them was a weekly publication called Modern People News, which I realize sounds fake and like I made it up right now, but it is very real. News for Modern People. Modern People News had a circulation of about 200,000. It was just a little tabloid-style paper, nothing special. And in 1977, they wrote about the plans for this proposed film

and how there'd been some kerfuffle in Europe, blah, blah, blah. And at the end of that article, they invited readers to weigh in. Did they want to see a movie in which Jesus Christ was depicted as a drunk, sex-crazed bank robber? Let us know! Have you ever written into a magazine? No, I don't think so. Wait, no, no, no. One time Kyla and I, back in 1999, wrote into YM Magazine. What is YM magazine?

Young and Modern? Duh. I'm sorry. Oh, sorry. Look at me. You can tell just by looking at me that I grew up on YM. It was like if you weren't quite ready for 17 magazine. It was like, okay. So it was for the not so cool kids. Hey, watch it. Only the cool kids read 17. I have a podcast now, so clearly I'm pretty cool.

All right. Yeah. But the really cool kids who were getting all the ladies, all the boys and all the ladies were the ones reading Nintendo Power. I was about to say, you wrote into Nintendo Power, didn't you? I did. Would you write? I love you. I love you so much.

One day I'll be the gaming historian. No, I wrote in about my. Dr. Mario skills. I thought I was really good. You were really good. I think I'm decent at Dr. Mario, but I wrote in. You know, they tell you to take a screenshot of your television with the score. I do not know.

I was not a Nintendo Power Reader. Well, clearly, look at you. Well, back then, they showed you how to take a picture of your television because you had to prove you got a high score. Sure. And so, like, I wrote, I took a picture of my Dr. Mario high score and sent it in. Uh-huh. And I guess it wasn't good enough. Or they didn't care.

I didn't hear anything back. Seems like you took it hard then and you're continuing to take it kind of hard. Yeah. Did I tell you, I entered a Dr. Mario tournament at a convention one time? No. Please tell me more. Yeah. So this convention down in Texas called Retro Palooza, they had a Dr.

Mario tournament and I was like, I think I'm decent enough at Dr. Mario and I entered. I was breezing through the tournament here. I was eliminating people left around. I got to the finals. Uh-huh. And I go up against this guy who competed in the Nintendo World Championships. And he spanked my ass all over the place. Wow.

I was humiliated. Did it feel like a thousand tiny paper cuts from a Nintendo Power magazine to your heart? I felt like a real chump is what I felt like. Did you really? Or was it just like, oh, well, I went up against one of the best in the world. It was just a very, it was just a very humbling moment. That's all. I was like, yeah, I'm really good at Dr. Mario. And then I played against this guy. And oh, he was way better than me at Dr. Mario. You were not prepared for the final boss. I wasn't. We get it. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. That's okay. You know, it happens. We all have humbling moments in life. It's true. So, you know, they have this opinion poll. Let us know,

do you think this movie should be made in the United States? And once the votes came in, modern people news shared the, I'm sorry, very predictable results. As it turned out, 99% of respondents did not want to see the sexy Jesus porno film. What about that 1%? Well, there's always somebody. This is what Bernie's been rallying about. The top 1%. Oh, I have really misunderstood that. Media literacy really is key, isn't it? Humbling moment for you, perhaps. Four months after they ran that opinion poll, the folks at Modern People News wrote a little follow-up story. They wrote that the plans for that Jesus porno film had been canceled. It was no longer being created.

Problem solved. Keep your pants on, Jesus. And yeah, maybe the Modern People News folks got a little on their heart. horse and tried to act like their article and their stupid little opinion poll had played a role in getting the film axed. But hey, you know, that's fine. In their defense one time in 2005, I was holding my iPod and my cell phone. I was like, wouldn't it be great if they were just one? And so as a result, I now credit myself for inventing the smartphone. Eureka. Mm-hmm.

Why do we... You're welcome! Why are we in this house if you were? invented the iPhone. I don't know, Norm. That's a rude question. If radiator heat. So that was it.

Some Danish dude had a movie that would absolutely never be made, and he talked for like 12 seconds about taking it to America. Nobody wanted it. And the whole thing was over and done with faster than you can say, Joseph and the amazing technical or gang bang. Now that would be a plus. I would watch. I do believe it's a musical.

Would you still go, even if it was a musical, but you got to see those people banging. Andrew Lloyd Webber presents Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Gang Bang.

But then something weird happened. Nearly two and a half years after they'd published those two articles, the modern people news staff started receiving letters.

Letters. after letter after letter after letter after letter they were so angry and then came the phone calls phone call after phone call after phone call after phone call people were fired up and the little staff at modern people news was so confused these callers and letter writers seemed to think that they were the ones trying to create the jesus porno film but all they'd ever done was write a couple articles about it in fact they'd even kind of tried to take credit for being the ones who got it axed. So they tried to explain the situation to people, but that got harder and harder because the mail kept piling up and piling up. And the funny thing was, the letters weren't coming from local people. They'd come from a small community in Iowa

and a small community in California and then Texas. These letters seem to come in batches. They were nearly all form letters, just the kind of thing you'd sign and send in to let your thoughts be known. And finally, the folks at Modern People News decided that the best way to handle this was to create a form letter, just something to send back to these letter writers. It was kind of an expensive solution because, you know, they had to pay for postage and all that, but what else could they do? The letter explained the situation and included the following request. We would appreciate you explaining this to any other individuals, church officials, etc., you happen to meet as we have been deluged with questions from people in your area. Okay. Recap this for me. They reported that this movie could be made.

Right. Then they did a follow-up article saying, oh, never mind, it's not happening. And now they're getting letters from angry people in small rural communities. Not necessarily rural, but just outside their circulation. Some inside the circulation, a lot outside, and they tend to come in batches. They're getting letters that say, how dare you try to make this film? I can't believe this. Do not make this film. We do not want it.

So they think they're the producers or something? Yeah. So they're writing back being like, whoa, hey, whoa. Yeah, they're explaining, we reported on a thing. We're not actually involved in it. And that's that. Okay. I've got it.

I'm all caught up. But months turned to years and somehow the letters kept coming. The phone calls kept coming. And instead of dying down, this thing grew. By 1980, a full three years after Modern People News first wrote about the proposed film. This rumor that they were the ones who wanted to make the film had become unstoppable, partly because at some point the rumor evolved to include a sense of real urgency. That year, a staff member at the National Office of the Women's Christian Temperance Union in

Evanston, Illinois, was at church one day, worship in the Lord, when she came across a little like one-page bulletin thing, and it contained disturbing information. I would like to share that bulletin with you now. Modern People News has revealed plans for the filming of a movie based on the sex life of Jesus, in which Jesus is portrayed as a swinging homosexual. This film will be shot in the USA this year, unless the public outcry is great. Already a French prostitute has been named to play the part of Mary Magdalene, with whom Christ has a blatant affair.

We cannot afford to stand by and do nothing about this disgrace. The crucifixion was no worse than this. We must not allow this perverted world to drag our Lord through the dirt. Please help us to get this film banned from the USA as it has been in Europe. Let us show how we feel. Detach and mail the form below to the address shown. Make a few copies and give them to your friends. Only one name per copy.

Okay, I have some thoughts. Okay. First of all, is it possible? The director of this film is the one fueling these rumors. Oh, anything is possible? Yeah. I doubt it, though. Mm-hmm.

It feels, you know what it feels like to me? Hmm. Do you remember those rumors when we were kids that, I don't even know where they came from, but it just became, like, a known fact that, like, do you remember the rumor that, like, oh, Marilyn Manson removed a rib so he could suck his own dick? Yeah, I do remember that. Which is not true. Okay. But, like, became, like, a standard gossip thing among high schoolers.

And I'm just like, how did that even start? Right. Yeah. Or the story that I believe that a man farted himself to death in an airtime. tight room because he ate cabbage and sausage. Norm, have you told that story on the podcast? I think so. Okay, but it's interesting because that's exactly your heads in the right space of people

are getting worked up about something that is not happening. And yeah, how do you stop that when the truth just doesn't seem to sink in for people? Well, and it's like, how do you stop it when you're like, you don't even know. how to stop it. Right. I mean, I guess the magazine could put out a... Well, no, because... No.

Not everyone... Their circulation is 200,000. Their circulation's small, so not everyone's going to see it. And, like, this type of rumor is spreading faster than the magazine can keep up with. Right. Right. Yeah, I don't know even know how you do it. Everybody, just to jump back, Norm believed for a very long time in a story

story about a man who died because he fell asleep in kind of an airtight bedroom situation after he'd eaten too much cabbage and sausage, farted too much, and died. He died. Everybody, for years, I always was perplexed when Norman would get very anxious about having gas and then come to find out, he really thought it was going to die. I thought I was going to kill someone. God bless Snopes.com for... Yeah, Snopes said that was fake news.

Snopes said, Norman, don't worry. Keep farting, buddy. We think you'll live through it. Yeah, it's funny reading that article as an adult and just been like an airtight room. Why would he have an airtight room? And then he was a very, very fat, disabled man, like bedridden and ate nothing but cabbage and sausage. And I was like, that's weird too. Well, it is funny what you'll believe when you're in the right state of mind.

Like the article was even like, yeah, and some of the paramedics almost died because they came in and sniffed the farts. One had to go to the hospital with them because of the farts. Oh, man. So the detachable part of the letter that I just read to you was made to be sent to modern people news. Of course. Mm-hmm. So that's where they're getting all these angry letters. There are... From church bulletins?

Not necessarily, but I mean, I think that's fair to say. That's a big portion of it. And this letter went through some different iterations. So this is the version that I chose to read to you. Okay. Now, that national staff member of the Women's Christian Temperance Union to this day remains nameless. but she read that thing and she was just shocked and scandalized and gooped and gagged by this little leaflet. In fact, she was so shocked and so scandalized and so gooped and so gagged that she took action, baby. She wrote to the Women's Christian Temperance Union president of every state in this great nation

to tell them about the gay Jesus porno film that was definitely going to happen unless we all said something about it. And, you know, from there, all hell broke loose. My God. This is such a crazy rumor. I mean, the dude that was originally going to make it isn't even making it. Right. Right. So here's what I hope happens.

I hope a legit news organization picks up this story and they start asking basic questions. Like, who's making this film, who's starring in the film. and when they can't provide these basic answers, I just feel like it'll fall apart very quickly if you go to a legit news organization. Norm, what year are you living in? 1936. I was going to say. There have been a lot of rumors going around.

A lot of conspiracy theories going around. Yeah. And I hate to break it to you. But a lot of news organizations have debunked that. stuff. And does it make a difference? No. Yeah. I heard that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump. Interesting. Tell me more. Well, I'd be happy to. Off camera. Off mic. Off the record. I'll tell you what happened. Gosh, why didn't we steal it again? Should have done that. Anyhow, so the state presidents got the word out to the local chapters and the local chapters got the word out to their

members. And of course, everyone was outraged. And in their outrage, they didn't stop to ask questions. Questions like, does this sound real, though? Also, why haven't I seen this in the news? Also, and I hate to ask this, I really do. But if Jesus is a swinging homosexual, why is he hooking up with a lady? And, you know, that of course begs the harder, more pressing questions. Questions like, does the Lord know what it means to be gay? Does the Lord have access to a dictionary? And if so, is it possible he's just really bad at being gay? Or, or hold on, wait, give me a minute.

Is this what folks are talking about when they talk about bisexual erasure? What we got going on here? I'm so confused. I was going to say maybe Jesus is bi. Well, yeah, but the letter didn't say he's a swinging bisexual. He said swinging homosexual. Yeah, yeah. In all caps, obviously.

Of course. I could tell it was in all caps the way you read the letter, okay? Soon, the staff at Modern People News were inundated with more letters than ever before. Thousands upon thousands of letters demanded that they stopped production of the gay Jesus porno film. Plot twists, they are actually making fun. You know, at a certain point, you might as well. In the back room of the office. Gary, we're going to need you to get a wig, okay, buddy.

Fuck, they're on to us. For what it's worth, not everyone who came across that little one-page bulletin believed it. A woman named Edith Stanley was the president of the National Women's Christians Temperance Union. And once she found out that one of her staffers had basically gone nuts and sent out letters to every state president, she did some digging. And pretty quickly, she found out that this wasn't real. Good. Thank you. Because Norm, believe it or not, a few news outlets had debunked this. And yet somehow, it didn't really move the needle. Damn. So Edith reached out to all the WCTU state presidents to let them know that this had been an unfortunate and very embarrassing error, no one needed to be worried

about this film because it wasn't happening. Well, someone's going to make it now. That's what I think. Have you seen this movie, Norm? Yeah, 12 times I've seen all the affairs of Jesus Christ. No, it's just if you, this rumor, there's already buzz around it. What if someone just threw it out there. You know what it is? Huh. This is what it reminds me of. What?

When the news came out that the rights to the original Winnie the Pooh were going to public domain. How are we going to Winnie the Pooh from this? Okay. Hang on. It was going to public domain. And like a couple days later, this low-budget horror movie company was like, we're making a Winnie the Pooh horror movie.

Okay. And it got terrible reviews, but it was just like we want to take advantage of this news that Winnie the Pooh's public domain. Sure. And so I'm wondering if somebody's going to hear this buzz about this supposed Jesus Christ's love affair movies coming out. And they're quick to be like, oh yeah, let's throw it out there. I mean, you know, now that you say it like that, I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess it's not a terrible. Well, it kind of sucks as an idea, but it's not the worst. It's like, I feel like snakes on a plane was like an internet meme before it became an actual movie.

Oh, really? Yeah, I think it was as someone who's been on the internet for a long time. People do that shit all the time. Okay. They'll literally create the product based off buzz or rumors about it. Do you think that by sharing this story, I am inspiring someone to go get naked, go to their friends. who's a bank teller, say, hey, can we borrow the bank for a couple hours? I need to do some scenes.

Also, do you have any Clorox wipes? Because we're going to need them. Sorry. Anyway. So Edith finds out this isn't real. She reaches out to the state president. She says, hey, sorry about the error. And, you know, from there, it was the state president's job to reach out to their local

chapters and be like, hey, sorry about that. Calm down, everybody. There's no. breaks. Unfortunately, the Jesus porn's not coming out. I know we all got real excited. Did I just say that? I meant fortunately. But it seems that not everyone got the memo. It was so embarrassing. They'd been had. No one likes to admit that they thought for like 20 years that you could die from excessive farts in a small room. Take it from me. The president of the Iowa chapter of the women's Christian Temperance Union said that as soon as she found out that the story was fake, she stopped telling her local chapters about it. And when a reporter was like, okay, but yeah, did you do the extra thing of then telling them that if you'd already talked about it with them, that, hey, it wasn't real? And she was like, oh, no, they found out that it wasn't real. Mm-hmm.

Which, of course, is not how these things work. No. One of the women who continued to believe the hoax and continued to spread that form letter was Irene Butt. Oh, I love that. Irene Butt ran the Hampton, Iowa chapter of the WCTU and had already taken that one-page bulletin and made a ton of copies of it. She'd shared it with everyone. Did she share with her husband Seymour? I hate that I laughed at that.

Naturally, one of the people whom she shared it with was her pastor, Reverend Gary Patterson. Nothing to laugh about there. Nope, nothing funny about that name. Reverend Patterson led the Hampton Church of Christ. And when he attended a meeting of the North Central and Northeast Iowa Church of Christ Churches, you know, one of these big deal meetings, he brought a bunch of copies to share with the other pastors. And of course, they took those copies and shared them with their congregations. Norm is smiling.

Norm loves it. Irene, Butt was out of control and you just love it. I'm just imagining, like, if that movie was actually made, the pastor bringing in like 25 copies of this Jesus porn and be like, look at this. I want each of you to watch this. I spent all night watching this nonstop. I was so mad. So worked up. So pissed off.

And I made copies with my VHS recorder for all of you to watch. I'm exhausted. I can't fight this alone, brothers. Later, when asked about whether he'd actually looked into the claim that a gay Jesus porno film was being made. Not gay. Okay. They call it that. They claim it was gay, but he's banging Mary in the movie.

We can all agree that it's hilarious that. literally in one sentence he's a swinging homosexual and then the next he's having a blatant affair with mary magdalen um but this is referred to as the gay jesus hoax okay fair enough i like that you are trying to bring some accuracy to a hoax but it's not necessary so yeah one of the pastors that gary gave the belieflets to was later asked did you look into this to see if it was real That guy was Robert Worfell And he was like, well, no, I thought Gary looked into it Oh boy

This is how this shit spreads Yep A trusted friend and confidant told me this Once again though, some folks did look into it And they found out that it was fake But my God, the hoax was so much sexier And so much rage baitier than the truth And so the letter kept going

It was distributed through prayer chains and churches. And then, oh, Lord, it got into an interdenominational prayer chain. It had everyone. Baptists, Catholics, and Methodists. Oh, my! By that point, the staff at Modern People News weren't the only ones being inundated with angry form letters. After all, Norm, if the Modern People News folks were nutty enough to make a porno about Jesus, then they probably wouldn't listen to reason, right? Right. So the letter writers changed up the form letter. Soon, a new version of the letter began sweeping the nation.

This time, the detachable portion of the letter was made out to the Attorney General of the state of Illinois. Oh, dear fucking God. He's the only one with the power to stop this. I can't even imagine what Attorney Generals have to deal with. Oh, they're fine. Well, I'm just saying, like, I bet they get stuff like this all the time. I need you to look into this. I mean.

This clearly fake thing. You know, you're probably right. Yeah. But you've got to admit, this one's pretty fun. It is a lot of fun. Until it gets out of control. In no time, the office of Attorney General William J. Scott was flooded with thousands upon thousands of letters, urging him to put an immediate stop to the production of that filthy movie.

At some point, the good folks of Alabama, their own version of the letter for their own attorney general. Oh, my God. So it's spreading to each state's attorney general? No, not necessarily. I do have to, and again, I'm trying to bring sense to something that makes no sense. But this really, truly makes no sense because at least the folks in Illinois were like, well, modern people news is in Illinois. So that state's attorney general is the one who can stop this. Again, they're not making the movie. They're not even a movie production. company, but still, at least it kind of sort of makes sense.

Alabama doesn't make any goddamn sense at all. But I'm giving it a shout-up because I loved the little PS they added to their letter, and I'd like to read it to you now. Evangelist Jimmy Swaggered recently reported that the above-mentioned movie has been completed. That's a rep. According to Brother Swaggart, the movie company has released word that the movie is scheduled to be shown in various locations around the country during the Christmas season. So, the time is short to put a stop to it.

We sincerely hope that all spiritually and morally minded people will band together and keep this ungodly type of filth out of the state of Alabama. In one scene, I think Jesus fuck Santa. I mean, they just make more stuff up, you know? I'll show you the meaning of Christmas. I can see Jesus like hate banging Santa because he's mad that like Santa's taken over his birthday. Norm, that's very not Christ-like. Well, neither is a Jesus porno where he robs a bank. You know what?

I'm going to send you a form letter about how angry I am about that comment. I was thinking, what if we could get our listeners, our histriots, to write into their attorney generals and make up a rumor about an old-timey podcast? No, no, if we're going to, if we're going to activate the base, let's do it for something good, not for something made up. You're right, it should be, it should be for a good cause. Thank you, Norm. Not to troll. Everything was officially out of hand. By the summer of 1980, an estimated 200,000 Americans had sent letters petitioning to ban this movie from the United States.

Once again, I can't say this enough. It was not even a movie. The movie does not exist. It was not happening. That year, the Illinois Attorney General's office estimated that they received a thousand letters per week about this movie. Opening those letters, responding to phone calls, and just generally dealing with this fake issue, ironically became a drain on the Attorney General Office's actual real resources. Mm-hmm. And if they thought that it might eventually die down, they were wrong.

Because this hoax wasn't just perpetuated by gullible everyday citizens. Even news organizations fell for it. Oh, my God. The mayor of Lodi, New Jersey, a guy named Chris Pacey, owned a weekly newspaper. And in 1982, when he was putting together the Easter edition of his paper, he dedicated a quarter page to the Jesus. porno film. In that article, he urged his readers to write to the Attorney General of Illinois to, quote, protest in the strongest terms possible, the production, filming, or showing of any

movie that supposedly depicts the sex life of Jesus by modern people news. If I may offer Chris a critique, I really appreciate a couple words in all caps, just for emphasis, just for emphasis, to let people know you mean business. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. He was way too professional about this, you know, aside from the fact that he didn't research it at all. I feel my mind's going blank, but I feel like this happens all the time.

Just people like make something up to be outraged about. Yeah. Yeah. No, it absolutely does. It's funny because initially. Like razor blades and Halloween candy, which like never happened. But like that was another rumor we heard about as kids. Yes.

Got to be careful out there. My freaking high, my middle school band teacher spread that rumor to us. It was in, so one of the controversies about, I believe it was either Ann Landers or Dear Abby was every now and then they put out advice that just wasn't true. And one of the things was, oh, look out. Don't let your kids go get Halloween candy because people are putting razor blades in it. Again, not true. Yeah. The only fun fact from my old podcast, the only time that ever actually happened, this is not a fun fact.

Oh, God, why did I call it fun? It was a guy killing his own kid. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's how the rumor started. I don't think it was. Yeah.

And no offense, I'm not wasting a perfectly good razor blade. Just to cut a kid's mouth. Good for you, Norm. Yeah. Those things are expensive. Economical. That year, the number of letters that arrived in the Illinois Attorney General. General's office shot up. A representative for the office said that every Monday, a mail bin,

four feet deep and two and a half feet wide, was completely filled with letters about this fake movie. And a possible reason for that uptick is that people could no longer send their letters to modern people news. Did the magazine shut down? I mentioned that at its peak it had a circulation of 200,000. Yeah. In 1981, they had to file for bankruptcy. And the following year, they were completely out of business. See, they just should have made the movie. The publication's attorney, a guy named Anthony Spina, said that the ridiculous rumor that the magazine had somehow been involved in and supportive of this Jesus movie had ruined the magazine.

Oh, my God. In an interview, he said, the publisher wouldn't want to say this, but I would. Will. These nuts have driven us out of business. What the fuck? Okay. Okay. So if you're the attorney general and you're getting these letters, what do you do? Do you just send an automatic response like, hey, we've looked into this and it's not true. Thank you for your inquiry. And they just shred the letters. I think that would be incredibly expensive. Well, yeah. I mean, that's not how I would handle it. what would you do Kristen Caruso Oh God I tell you what

I will save that for later because you're going to hear his solution Is he going to make the movie Just make it come true And then he's like There Now get mad about a new thing

Because your protest letter didn't work So So this attorney is saying Yeah This is what killed the magazine Although in fairness It's not like modern people News was always doing that great. They got into a legal battle in 1977 when they sued time over the

rights to the people logo for People magazine. And they obviously lost. Yeah. But their attorney is saying that this hoax was the nail in the coffin. So now the lion's share of the mail was going to the Illinois Attorney General's office because there's nowhere else to send it. But even that had an extra layer of delicious irony because the form letters were still mostly addressed to Attorney General William J. Scott. But by that point, he was now in prison for tax fraud. And so each subsequent Attorney General had to deal with a mountain of mail addressed to a guy who was in federal prison about a film that was never going to happen. Jesus Christ. In the summer of 1984, a guy named Bill Shobb, who was the press secretary for the attorney general's

office said that in just the previous eight months alone, their office had received 44,000 pieces of mail from 41 states and 11 different countries. The average envelope contained three or four signed protest letters. Oh my God. The office employed an administrative assistant who spent no shit three hours a day dealing exclusively with letters from people who had been duped by this hoax. Love to see that job posting. Your duties include reading letters about a fake Jesus porn for three hours a day. You'll get some other mail, too.

Free soda in the break room. The situation was untenable, and the Attorney General's office had a very good reason to believe that it would get worse. And that's because just a few years earlier, a rumor circulated that the FCC was planning to cancel all religious television programming. Oh, my God. The story went that the outspoken atheist and advocate for separation of church and state, Madeline Murray, who true crime fans will know because she got murdered, was crusading to rid the United States of religious TV shows. That's what she was up to. But that wasn't true. Not at all.

Okay. Totally baseless rumor. But you know, just like this one, it sounded like maybe it could happen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it got people fired up. And as a result, millions of letters flooded the FCC's offices, rallying against this made-up plan to remove religious TV shows from the airwaves. The whole thing was just a nightmare for the FCC.

and Neil Hardigan, the new Attorney General for the state of Illinois, feared that the thousands of letters that his office was receiving might turn into millions if he didn't do something. But what could he do? Well, I suggested the idea of writing everybody back. But that's, you shot that down. Well, no, I mean, if we're doing, you know, no bad ideas in brainstorming, okay, you write everybody back. do you think that works? I'm sure it helps. Yeah, it might.

If you wrote a letter and you're like, thank you for your concern. We have investigated the Jesus porn movie and found the rumors unsubstantiated. Yours truly Neil Cardigan sweater, or whatever his name is. I feel like a few people who got that letter back would be like, oh, I'm glad they looked into it.

A few people might. Let me tell you what I think would happen. A few people might be like, oh, great. I think that'd be a pretty small percentage. I think a bigger percentage would be like, yeah, right, skeptical. And a much bigger percentage, if they believed the letter, would be really embarrassed. And not want to admit they were wrong. Right.

Yeah. Right. I think that's something that happens a lot in situations like, these like no one wants to admit that they were duped. And so they would almost rather cling to the lie and feel right than get the truth and be wrong. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. A few people will get that letter and be like, there's something they're not telling us. We are through the looking glass people. Yeah. So what are they going to do? Good question. In a situation like this, what does one turn to? He needed the help of someone with a

platform, a massive platform, someone who commanded universal respect, someone the people would listen to, someone with perfect hair, gleaming white teeth, and a solution for every problem. I'm talking, of course, about Lindsey Buckingham. What? Anne Landers. Oh. Yeah, her too. What do you think?

Think old Anne Landers is going to be the solution? Could definitely help? I don't think this is a bad idea at all. What about Lindsay Buckingham? I don't know that he was even considered, which feels like a big missed opportunity. Lindsay, we need you to write a song. We'll supply you with the lyrics. The Jesus porno film is fake.

It's not real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think? That sounds awful. Well, you know, I'm no Lindsay Buckingham. Yeah. Here's what Neil wrote to Anne Landers. Dear Anne Landers, the office of the Attorney General of the State of Illinois,

respectfully request your assistance in combating an international chain letter that is distressing hundreds and thousands of Christians and those of other faiths as well. The chain letter is a plea to protest, in the strongest language possible, the making of a movie in which Jesus Christ could be depicted as a swinging homosexual. Both this office and the Associated Press have chased down every possible clue and cannot find a shred of truth in the story that such a film was ever in production. Modern film news, which reported the film plans, has been out of business for more than two years. Moreover, 90% of the protest mail that has been overwhelming our staff is addressed to the former Attorney General William J. Scott, who has been out of office longer than four years. And is in prison. Despite our efforts to get the word to the public that the chain letter is a hoax, we continue to receive approximately a thousand protests every week and at least a dozen phone inquiries each working day.

The inquiries and protests have come from 41 states, Canada, Puerto Rico, New Zealand, Australia, Cambodia, Spain, Brazil, the Dominican Republic, India, the Philippines, Guatemala, Costa Rica, and Portugal. We have concluded that the Jesus movie rumor originated in 1977 when a suburban Chicago publication, Modern People News, reported that certain interests in Europe were planning such a film, and requested that readers express their opinion of the purported project. The result was the chain letter protest, which, for some unknown reason, has been revived and is again sweeping the world. We are appealing to you, Anne Landers, to help us get the word out. The scope of your readership and impact on millions of newspaper readers around the world cannot be overestimated. The postage and phone calls, not to mention the valuable time of employees, run into the world. to a great deal of money that could be used for so many worthwhile purposes.

Will you please help us? Neil F. Hardigan, not Cardigan, Attorney General, State of Illinois. Anne Landers, Class Act that she was, printed this letter, along with a note of her own. Oh, great job, Anne. She wrote, Dear Attorney General Hardigan, Hoaxes die hard, and the zany or the hoax, the more difficult it is to convince people that it is not true. If any of you, my readers, receive a copy of that wacky chain letter, take my word for the fact that there is not an iota of truth in it, and please tell friends that chain letters are illegal and should be tossed in the handiest waste basket or fed to the nearest goat. You know it would be hilarious.

What? If Ann Landers published the letter and was like, do not believe this, folks, there is a gay Jesus porn being made, and I saw it and it was terrible. I gave my notes on it I tried to improve it but I don't know that they'll take them Okay so Anne Landers For the record She was wrong Chain letters are in fact not illegal

Yeah I was going to ask I didn't know chain letters were illegal They're not Yeah but seems like another hoax The Anne Landers is passing on It is kind of deliciously ironic That in a letter about how important accuracy is She got this one a little wrong.

But still, we appreciate the effort. Yeah. Yeah, we do. By the way, I'm just realizing I didn't include or I have not included yet the theory on how this got started. Do you want to hear the theory? Absolutely. So the theory, and again, nobody has the actual concrete reason why this got started. But the theory is that someone had a way outdated copy.

of that newspaper. They read it. They saw the opinion poll. They misunderstood. Clearly. Got really fired up and created their own letter and then a form letter. And apparently this all kind of coincided with the popularization of like, God, what do they call those really cheap little copiers? Like, my me a graph.

What do you call them? I don't know what you're talking about. about. Well, I've got to be honest. Let's just say it kind of coincided with the popularization of relatively cheap copiers. So all of a sudden it was way. Benjamin Franklin. Gutenberg.

Yeah. Time is a flat circle. And so that's how they think this might have gotten started. I mean, most of these wacky conspiracy theories and hoaxes start from just one little nut, right? Yeah. Yeah. But again, I think it can't be underestimated how much we don't want to be wrong about something. And how Vin will bend and, you know, weave and try to make ourselves right.

I wish society wasn't like that, though. I wish people could take the L and just be like, oh, darn, I was wrong. Well, thank you for clearing that up. Yeah. People need to be more non-threatening. Right? I agree, Norm. Yeah.

But, you know, you say that, and yet your solution to this problem is, let's make the Jesus porno film. Let's go full throttle. Sure. Let's mention Hitler. Let's do the whole thing. I think that would be one solution is, fuck it, let's just make the movie.

Let's make it happen. If there's buzz already, let's run with it. I mean, it's not bad. So they print this letter. Yeah. Goes out all over the place. Right. Now, Norm, I ask you,

do you believe in the power of Anne Landers? Do you believe that the, this letter did the trick. Do you believe in the Holy Trinity? Anne Landers, Dear Abby and Judge Judy. Do you? I do believe in that Holy Trinity. Uh-huh.

As, you know, because Judge Judy was actually a guest on our show. Well, sure. Yeah. Do you think this made a difference? I'm sure it did, a little bit. I think so, too. I think it could make a difference. Of course, a good hoax is hard to kill.

Absolutely. There's also, okay, and this is tough. because there is some research that shows that even just talking about a thing again, even if it's to say, hey, that's wrong, puts it in people's heads as a real thing again somehow. Yeah. But that just goes against everything I believe because I feel like, well, no, just shout the truth harder. But there is some evidence that that really doesn't work. I still believe you can die by farting if you're in an airtight room.

Then why do you keep farting in our bedroom? We live in an old house. It's not airtight. Oh, that's true. That's the only reason. So the fart's got somewhere to go. That's all. Those drafty windows are what keep us alive.

Yeah. They don't make them like they used to. If you live in a modern home, do not close. Go easy on the cabbage. Don't close your bedroom door. if you'd have if you ate at P.F. Chang's at night, okay? Believe it or not, Norm, this hoax is still with us. It's still around today.

Because it has evolved. Just like it did earlier, you know, it used to be toward that publication, the publication shuts down. Oh, we go to the Attorney General's office. So it started as a fight against a media company, became a fight with a district attorney's office, and now it's something a little different. Stick with me because it gets just a little

weirder. In 1997, Jesus Christ. Bill Clinton. The Emmy and Tony award-winning playwright Terrence McNally debuted his play titled Corpus Christi. And in the play, Jesus and the disciples are gay. Okay, but that's it.

They're just gay. No wild nudity, no explicit sex scenes. Of course, that's how it came back. I'm guessing no mentions of Mr. Hitler. I confess I've not seen the point. play. Nonetheless, the play pissed off a lot of homophobes. And somehow, some way, this old hoax about the Jesus porno evolved to say that this play was now being turned into a movie, and the movie was gonna be nasty. Hard core. Hardcore sex scenes in this film. And so these days, people don't

send many letters about this hoax? It's more of an email thing. Oh, yeah. Four words from grandmamma. Yeah, my grandpa sent me a lot of email chains. It was a thing back in the day. They loved him. Over the past 20 years, film institutes everywhere from South Africa to New Zealand have reported

that they still occasionally receive complaints about a film that is not being made. And that is the story of the fake Jesus porno. That's fucking wild. But again, I think someone should make this film. I don't agree.

But you know what I'm all of a sudden loving. What? Oh, this is gross. This is dark, but I'm on to something. Are we ready? Yep. Well, I just spent a whole lot of time talking about how we all hate to be wrong. Yeah.

What if it was made by like a big time church leader? And it became, you know, people love to get. united around a cause. So that dude makes the movie while also rallying people up about how this is such a terrible thing, gets the money on both sides, bing, bang, boom. There we go. Compete against yourself, yeah. The Westboro Baptist Church presents the love affairs of Jesus Christ. It would have to be a more mainstream church. Westboro Baptist has like 12 people. Recruitment numbers are down, huh? Yeah, there's something about being way to...

They're local, aren't they? Aren't they nearby? Well, they're in Kansas, yeah. Yeah. Topeka. I try not to summon those devils, Norm. So thanks a lot. You worry they're going to pick it outside of old-timey headquarters?

They might. Who knows? Well, depending on how we title this episode, they might be. Maybe the hoax will start up again. Oh, God. Okay, there's a gay Jesus porn coming out, but it's in podcast form. I saw it in my feed the other day from a production company called Old Timey Podcast. How did you come across this?

What were you searching for? Email chain. Yeah. So there you go, Norm. Very good, Kristen. What a stupid hoax. I got to say, after the couple weeks we've had, I needed to cover a real stupid one. This is the kind of content we need on this podcast right here.

Aggressively stupid content. No, I do think it's fun to mix it up with like, yeah, we do some serious deep dives, but we also talk about the gay Jesus hoax. We do it all here. I got to say, it was quite the journey I went on from at first feeling, because like at first all I knew about was the hoax. And so then it was just fun to like make fun of that. But then I found out, okay, well, there was that kernel of truth to it. Then I learned about that guy and I was like, damn it. I don't like him at all.

Yeah. I'm hating everything. Yeah. Well, very good, Kristen. Thank you for that story. You're welcome. Definitely it got me thinking about weird rumors and hoaxes and stuff we believed as kids and how that stuff, you know, spreads and how it stays in people's minds. Mm-hmm.

This episode was a little deeper than you think. It was very silly, though. Hmm. Yeah. Jokes on you. I wasn't thinking hard at all. I will say this was fun to do a story that involved Anne Landers. I don't know a lot about Ann Landers.

Well, you're missing out, my dude. I, okay, do you know about my love for like Dear Abby, Anne Landers, all that stuff? The Holy Trinity? Judge Judy. But, okay, for real. When I first started working at a newspaper, I was a designer. Design is not my thing. I was really hoping to be a reporter.

and that entire position, I was just like, how do I be a reporter? How do I be a reporter? But the one amazing silver lining of that position was I was the one who would put in all the, like, syndicated columns and stuff. Okay. Which meant that every Sunday we'd get dropped the next seven days of Dear Abby. And boy, oh boy, did I feel like the most special gal in the world? because I would read them ahead of time. You feel like you got early access to the Dear Abby's?

I loved them. Loved them. And, okay. It's the little things in life. I will say, if we're coming up with content that absolutely no one is interested in listening to, which I think that should be our goal, the content I would like to create, Norm, do you know anything about the intense rivalry between Dear Abby and Anne Landers? No. They were sisters. Were they really? Yeah, baby.

Like biological sisters? No, soul sisters. That's why I asked. Yeah, they were sisters. Okay. I think it would be a fun thing to look into. But also I know that like no one is, no one is asking for that. So was there a rivalry there?

Hell yeah. Or they just both happened to get into that business. Oh, there's a rivalry. Darling. I actually don't know enough about it because now I'm realizing it'd sure be fun to share some facts right now. If only I had them. I just know that there was a rivalry between them and there's something I love about that. It feels like a show that FX would make.

Yeah. Like American story, Anne Landers and Dear Abby. American advice story and I would watch the shit out of it. You like those FX shows. Yeah. I do. The OJ one I enjoyed. Oh, yeah, that was great.

Sarah Paulson. Yeah, she's amazing. Have you ever seen Sarah Paulson's interviews with Craig Ferguson? No. Oh, they're just, they're hilarious. Is that the end of the story? No, they're, well, I adore her. Yeah.

And they're just great interviews. They're very casual. Uh-huh. And, you know, Craig Ferguson was a great late-night host. People love Craig Ferguson, kind of in the way that people love Conan O'Brien. Like there's a kind of a culty following. He was wonderful. I do miss him dearly.

Her interviews with Craig Ferguson are very good. You should watch him on YouTube. Okay. Very good. Kristen, thank you for this wonderful, illuminating episode on The Gay Jesus Hoax. You're welcome. You know what they say about history, hoax? We always cite our sources.

That's right for this episode. I got my information from the article, Will Jesus be portrayed as homosexual in an upcoming film by Barbara Mickelson for Snopes.com? The article, The Jesus Sex Movie That Never Existed, by William Simbro for the Des Moines Register. The article, Jesus Sex film rumor draws letters from 200,000 people by Carol Armstrong for the Dayton Daily News. The article, Crusade revives war on non-existent sex film by William Simbro for the Des Moines. along with a whole bunch of other articles. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast.

Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're at it, subscribe. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Join the Reddit community, R-slash-old-timey podcast. Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old-Timey Podcast. You can also follow us individually on Instagram. at Kristen Pitts-Koruso, and he's at Gaming Historian. And until next time, Tooteloo, Tata, and Cheerio!