An Old Timey Podcast - 48: The Great Cobra Scare of 1953

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

In the year of our Lord 1953, the city of Springfield, Missouri, had a terrible problem. Deadly cobras kept popping up in people’s yards! What were cobras doing in Missouri? They weren’t native to the area. Who the hell had rolled out the welcome mat??   For the local police, the sudden presence of cobras wasn’t nearly as mysterious as it sounded. A local store, the Mowrer Animal Company, sold all kinds of exotic animals. Organutans! Crocodiles! And...you guessed it...cobras! But when police talked to the store's owner, he claimed innocence. What was going on? Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from: “Hissy Fit: Springfield’s 1953 Cobra Scare,” OzarksWatch Video Magazine “Ozarks Life: The Great Cobra Scare of 1953,” by Chad Plein ky3.com “Springfield’s cobra scare of 1953,” ozarksalive.com “Fessin’ up,” by Mike O’Brien for The Springfield News-Leader “And where is Reo Mowrer today?” The Springfield News-Leader “Snakes in Springfield,” by Greta Cross for The Springfield News-Leader “Tying up some loose ends about Springfield’s loose cobras,” by Mike O’Brien for The Springfield News-Leader “Does Drury have the sole remaining cobra of ‘53 scare?” by Mike O’Brien for The Springfield News-Leader “Cobra hindsight beats foresight,” The Springfield News-Leader Are you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts! Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm Normie C, and guess what, Kristen? I was also in the Department of Defense's signal group chat. But I got kicked out after I asked, Future Topic? This episode, I'll be talking about the great cobra scare of 1953. Oh, wow. A date we all remember. I have no idea what this is about. Snakes? Yes. Snakes? You did an episode on snakes? I don't like it. I've got a whole lot of disclaimers. It's going to be a rough ride for all of us.

Great cobra scare. I guess you could be talking about a car. What? A cobra car? What? I don't know anything about that. Or cobra from G.I. Joe? I barely know about that. The evil terrorist organization. Okay. Folks, if you enjoy what we're doing here, please consider supporting us on Patreon.

Oh. What, but there's someone at the door, Kristen. Oh, wow. I do appreciate that you had a doorbell sound effect. That was actually our doorbell. Oh, my mistake. It's weird because I have a sign on the door that says small, independent, sexy podcast recording and progress. Uh-huh.

And they just completely ignored it clearly. Oh, that's so rude of them. I'll be right back. I'm going to go get the door. Great. Okay. All right. Oh, hold music.

People, this is a classy operation. Will he come back as Hubert Montgomery? I mean, will Hubert Montgomery come in here? That's what I mean. Definitely not that Norm's going to change into another outfit and pretend to be a whole other man. You all are too sophisticated for that. As am I. Oh, Kristen, it's a world renowned expert and friend of the show, Dr. Hubert Montgomery.

Oh, my goodness. Norm, why don't you come in with Hubert Montgomery? Hello, hello. Oh, wow. What happened to Norman? Oh, hello, Kristen. You're looking stunning today. Oh, thank you. Your Hooters are big and pleasant as usual.

Wow, Mr. Montgomery, that's really inappropriate of you to say to me. Please, call me Hubert. I must say, have you considered leaving your husband? Many times. You could have any man, any man, Kristen. Yeah, yeah, it's true. Anyway, I thought I'd drop by to discuss a very serious problem. I don't think you had this accent the last time you were on the...

I'm a well-traveled man. I have many accents around the world. Okay, Alaria Baldwin. You see, I was listening to your last episode, Kristen, and as I do every week, a day early and ad-free over on Patreon.com. Slash old-timey podcast. And you had a special guest on the show. I believe his name was D.P. Which stood for, if I recall, D.R.P.

Yes. Personally, I don't know him. But at one point during the episode At one point during the episode I spat my lipped in brisk ice tea All over my Rolls-Royce dashboard Oh no Because that man slandered me

Oh my goodness D. D.P claimed that not only was I not sexy But that I was dead Well as you can clearly see, Kristen I am alive and well And also quite sexy I can see that I'd be a fool to ignore it

And history hose, if you would like to take a gander yourself, why don't you sign up at the 10... What do you call your currency here? I'm a very well-traveled man. I deal with many currencies. Yeah, we call it the dollary-doo. Oh, splendid. Ten-dollar-doos will get you on the pig-butter investor tier at patreon. At patreon.com slash out-timey podcast.

And not only will you get early ad-free video episodes, but you'll also get monthly bonus episodes, a card, stickers, access to monthly trivia parties, and 10% off all merchandise. Oh, goodness. How is that mustache affixed to your lip? It is a real mustache. It is grown in my skin. Okay. Let's not forget, Kristen, on that pig butter investor tier, you also get ad-free episodes of your old podcast, which,

oh, I can't recall the name of it. I believe it was called Let us stroll through the holes of justice. Yeah, yeah. It was not quite that catchy, but almost. Very, very good show. Thank you. Thank you.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop by to defend myself and from that unspeakable slander. Thank you very much for your time. Now, if you're excuse me, I have to be going. Some of my colleagues at the Antiques Road Show, they've set me up on a date. Oh. Yes.

She's a lovely woman. Her name is Wilma Fingerdew. I'll let you know how it goes. Fingerdo? Wilma Fingerdo. She's a lovely woman. I'll text you, Kristen. Give me your digits later.

Okay, I will. You know how to reach me. I do. Okay, very good. Okay, cheerio, history hose. Good luck on your date. Thank you. Wow, you're still wearing headphones.

Sorry. Folks, I feel like I should have let him walk off with the headphones still on. What a missed opportunity. Gosh, and they say we don't have good guests on this show. They are wrong, aren't they? Oh, wow. Norman, welcome back. Did I miss Dr. Hubert Montgomery?

I'm afraid you did, yeah. Oh, shit. But, you know, he might be nearby. I think he's getting fingered down in the park. Whoa, what did he talk to you? about. I just, I was picking up a vibe from him. You know, he was in a real hurry to get out of here. Well, and you seem to have been in a hurry to get back in here. You're buttoning your shirt up. I don't understand why you would have taken your shirt off. Because I had to use the bathroom and I was

fighting for my life in there. So, you know, sometimes you got to take your clothes off when you use the bathroom. I don't think you have to fully disrobe, but, you know, okay, I'm learning a lot from you. Yeah. Your upper lip, a little irritated? Is it? I may have gotten something on there when I was using the bathroom. Oh, we don't need to hear any more about that. Anyway, yeah, so what do you got about these cobras here? Okay.

Do you need me to do a Patreon plug? No, no, actually, Dr. Hubert Montgomery took perfect care of that. Wow, really? He's such a professional. Pretty amazing. Yeah, and sexy. He's a real sexy guy. And I can't believe he's single.

He might not be for long. You know, he was telling me about a lady he was going out with Wilma Fingerdue. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I hope it works out for him. He's a great guy. Are you ready for me to get to my story? Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Okay, I will start this terrible tale with a no thank you to today I learned in our discord for suggesting this case.

I am saying no thank you as opposed to the proper thank you because I did do this story. I'm about to tell it. But people who are only familiar with an old-timey podcast may not know this, but I have an intense fear of snakes. She does. Very, very big fear of snakes. I covered a snake case in my old podcast, and I had to do the weirdest disclaimer for that case because I refused to look at pictures of snakes. So I only looked at articles where they did not have pictures of snakes. which really limited me quite a bit.

Now, how did you do this one? Okay, this one, I decided I could be brave. I was wrong, but I decided that, you know what, I can read articles that have pictures of snakes. Partly was I didn't really have any other choice, but I really thought I'd grown as a person. But you haven't. No, because every night that I researched this, I had nightmares about snakes. and I'm freaking out just thinking about it now. This story scares the pants off of me.

It makes me very angry. Do you know anything about this? No. This could be the scariest episode yet of an old-timey podcast. It's really not, but to me it is. I mean, you've covered some real, real bad stuff. It's true. Like slavery.

Yes. Slavery is far worse than this story. I'm about to tell you here. Okay. But here we go. Picture it! Twas the summer of 1953 in Springfield, Missouri. Oh, local case.

Uh-huh. Now, Springfield isn't exactly huge, but it isn't tiny either. It's the third most populous city in the great state of Missouri. Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town. The schoolyards up in the shopping malls town. Back in 1953, it was home to a back. about 65,000 people. Fun fact, some call Springfield the buckle of the Bible Belt. Of course, by that same logic, those folks also call Branson, Missouri, the big flopping dong of the

Bible Belt. Whoa. But enough about dongs. Let's talk about snakes. You ready? Yes. It was August 15, 1953, about dinner time. And a man named Roland Parrish was outside doing some yard work when he spotted a snake. Okay. Not too uncommon here in Missouri. Terrifying.

We got little garden snakes. Oh, my God. We've had some big black snakes in our yard. Yes. Yeah. Fucking cobras. No, they're not. They're not cobras.

They're not poisonous. They're very friendly. I named one Mr. Scaly. Yeah. Wave to him. I was not amused. Anyhow, he was doing some yard work. Okay.

when he spotted a snake. A four and a half foot long snake. Ooh, it's a big boy. Roland was evidently a pretty tough dude because when he saw the snake, he didn't scream, run inside, or lose his shit, which is what I do when I see a snake. Yes.

Instead, he just looked at it. It wasn't like any snake he'd ever seen before. So he approached it, armed with nothing more than a hoe. Got his hoe by his side That's right And when he did The snake didn't skedaddle Instead it stayed put

It raised its head And then It spread its hood Oh so Yeah that's a cobra Roland was terrified Yeah I'd haul out A cobra in Missouri

Yeah Pretty weird It should not be in Missouri, that's for sure. You think it got lost? Got off on the wrong bus exit, I think. What the hell kind of snake was he looking at quicker than you can say, Ron Roland! The snake lunged at him.

But Roland, boom, knocked the thing down with his garden hoe and killed it. Wow, did he? Yeah. Nice. Way to go, Roland? Yes. Murder the snakes. Hey, the snake's.

attacked first. Self defense. Yeah. Oh, I should mention, I do not want to hear from any fucking snake apologists who are like... No animal rights people in this episode. No, I don't... No, I'm saying, like, someone's going to listen to this and be like, well, I've got the cutest snake you ever did see, and I'm going to send a picture and tell a sweet little tell. No, no, no, thank you,

goodbye. Only send me pictures of snakes if you're choking it with two hands. I don't even want to see that. Just let me No, you've choked a snake with your bareheads, and I will send you a certificate for your good deed. Kristen's certificate of authenticity. You have killed a snake. With a thumbs up. So he killed the snake.

But he was still kind of alarmed by it, because what kind of snake had he just killed? He wasn't sure. A week later, right across the street, a man named Wesley Rose heard his bulldog sound. go an ape shit outside. Wesley ran outside only to find Sally battling a snake in the front yard. Just like Roland, Wesley wasn't initially alarmed. These are big tough dudes. But when Wesley realized that Sally had cornered an unusual-looking snake, he freaked out.

He yelled for his wife to fetch a hoe. He grabbed Sally the Bulldog and tied her up. And then Wesley approached the snake with the hoe in hand. The snake rose up. It spread its hood. But before the snake could lunge, Wesley, boom, smacked it in the back. He was pretty sure he paralyzed it. So once the snake was immobile, Wesley killed it with the hoe.

Man, these hos are really effective against the snakes. Yeah. Secret weapon. These hos work hard. Uh-huh. The experience was unsettling, though. As was the snake itself. Wesley had never seen a snake like that before.

So he called the police. They came out to his house and brought the dead snake back to the police station where they examined it. And boy, were they stumped. See? They were stumped? Yeah. They said, you know, I think this might be a snake. They were very stupid people.

By God. This is the biggest earthworm I've ever seen in my life. See, Norm, as you already pointed out, Springfield, Missouri is home to plenty of snakes, which is why it's such a terrible place. But none of the officers had ever seen a snake like this before. So they called a science teacher from the local junior high school. They called in the director of the Dickerson Park Zoo. They called in a science professor from local Drury University. And holy shit, the experts weighed in and they were like, this is a cobra!

And guess what? Cobra's are not native to Missouri. How did these fuckers get here? How do we get them out? Do we abandon Springfield, Missouri and move to Springfield, Illinois? Yeah, yeah, we probably should. That's a little overreaction, Christian. That would be my idea.

That would be what you want to do. Yeah, that's a little bit crazy. Okay, this is the part in the story where I have to tell you shit that I do not care about at all. Because the snake nerds now want you to know. The snake nerds? Yeah, that's what I'm calling them. they want you to know that these snakes were initially misidentified as spectacled cobras. But upon, you know, further examination from our snake data, they want you to know that these are actually monocled cobras.

Ah, yes. What is the difference between a monocled cobra and a spectacle cobra? Who cares? Well, so the spectacled cobras where glass... and the monocled cobras wear a monocle. Yeah, so here's the thing. I'm guessing it means like, you know, spectacles have a ring around each eye.

Yeah. Monicle has a ring around one eye. Truthfully, I cannot tell you because the way to get that information would be to Google these fuckers, and I would know for sure I'm seeing a picture of them then. The monocled one has a top hat.

It's more classy. It's for your formal backyards. Monocled cobra. Oh, yes. And above ground swimming pool, that's not good enough for me, a monocled cobra. Oh, I see. It's like the patterns on their skin, I think. Okay, cool.

Good for them. It actually has nothing to do with wearing glasses or a top hat. Hmm. That's a shame. The important thing is that cobras are deadly. Their venom can kill an adult human. And again, can't stress this enough. they are not native to Springfield, Missouri.

So how the fuck did they get there? I'm sorry, I realize I'm cursing a lot. I'm a little high-strung. But yeah, two of them had ended up in Springfield, Missouri in August of 1953. But that's not to say that this was some big mystery, really, because just a block away from Wesley's house and Roland's house sat mower animal company. Oh. Mower Animal Company was owned by a guy named Rollins' house.

Rio Moore. He'd been in business for about two years and he sold a wide variety of animals, water moccasins, an orangutan, a crocodile, and get a load of this, cobras. Okay. I think Missouri is one of those states where you can just like own any animal you want. That's insane. That should not be happening at all. Actually, that show about the chimp lady, she was in Missouri, wasn't she? Okay, well, I just remember we tried to watch it and we got too creeped out. We could not watch it. Yeah, I was, it made me very uncomfortable watching an orangutting with a diaper.

Uh-huh. It felt too, I don't know, it just made me feel weird. I couldn't watch that show. Yes. Now, Cobra and a diaper would be kind of cute. probably not very effective either. No, he'd slither right out of it. So the police were like, okay, we can solve any crime by dinner time.

And, look at this, we done it. So they went over to Rio Morer's shop, and they were like, Rio, time to fess up, buddy. Did you, did you lose some cobras? Did you? Tell us how many you lost. We promise we'll only be a little mad. But Rio was super innocent. He was like, what?

Cobras in Springfield? Not on my watch. I mean, sure, yes, I do sell cobras, absolutely. But, and yeah, okay, those two cobras were found really close to my store. But that's just the weirdest coincidence I've ever heard in my whole fucking life. All my cobras are 100% accounted for. No missing cobras here. Toot-a-loomah, my dudes.

Do the cobras have ID batches? Norm, I would like to read to you a quote from a 1953 newspaper. This is what Rio told a reporter, and I am not making this up. I swear to God, he said this. Okay. Quote, we haven't had a cobra loose in months. We have them on hand all the time, but we haven't had any getaway. In months.

So they've gotten out before? Norm, they haven't had them loose in months, call. Calm down. They fixed the glitch. It's got to be him, right? I mean, I think it seems pretty clear. Yeah. Eight days passed.

And then a man named Ralph Moore was out in his yard and spotted a cobra. He grabbed his garden hoe and killed the shit out of it. These damn hoes are killing these snakes. Don't say damn hoes. These wonderful hoes. This is no time to ho shame. Ho's are the heroes of this story. Literally.

By the way, not so fun fact. Ralph lived two blocks away from the mower animal company. Okay. Just a coincidence. How is this story even going on? Is the open and shut case? How is this story even going on? Norm.

All right, Rio. Come on out. No, he hasn't had a cobra loose in months and he's real proud of that. I mean, where else are these cobras coming from? You have an exotic animal company a few blocks away. There's fucking cobras in everyone's yard. But they're not from that, they're not coming from there? You yourself said that they got off on the wrong bus stop.

That was a joke. They would never let a snake on a bus. Later that evening, a man named Willis Murdaugh was driving home when he spotted a snake in the road. And he said, there's been a Murdaugh. Sorry, that was stupid. I hate that I laughed at it. He drove by it fairly slowly, but then was like, wait, what the hell kind of snake was that? I've never seen one of those before.

See, this is like, this is a horror movie. People that are curious, what kind of snake is at? And then it lunges at you and bites you. I have never in my life been curious about a snake. I have been terrified and I've run. You've seen them and you've run away. Yes. Have you told the story of when we were camping in Minnesota?

And that snake popped out. I don't think I did. Yeah. So everyone, this one time we were camping in Minnesota. We were with my sister Kyla, brother-in-law Jay. And what do you call that? Portaging when you... Yeah, you take a canoe along all the lakes and you walk it across little bodies of land

and then you get back in another lake. Yeah, I think it's called portaging. So Kyla and I. got out onto the land to kind of scout around, see what was going on, the boys stayed in the canoes. Okay. I got out and I will admit that the snake that I saw was a small one. He was tiny.

Nonetheless, I was terrified. And I was supposed to walk right past this fucker to get back into the canoe. And everyone was kind of like, yeah, come on. Yeah. And I totally seriously, I said, it's looking right at me. And Jay, who is very nice all the time, just laughed at me. As if to say that is ridiculous. Of course it wasn't.

And that snake turned out to be a python. No, it was the tiniest little... A python, tiny baby python. Like garter snake in the world. It was actually kind of cute. deadly. It was looking at you, but it was a very friendly snake. Anyhow, I'm terrified.

Once, a couple months ago, we spotted a snake in our backyard. I, of course, memorized the location. Every time I'm in the backyard, I look in that location for said snake. The other day, I was picking up sticks. And you can bet your ass that before I touched any stick, I looked at the end of it and looked at the other end of it to see if there was a head. And then you were asking me if, People can buy landmines online.

And I was like, Kristen, why would you want a landmine? No reason. Hmm. You're just into them. Yeah. I feel like you want a landmine for the snake. Oh, I would love to blast their asses. Yeah.

Snake slithers over the landmine and just boom! And I'm like, oh no, what happened? Oh, my goodness. We also lose like half of our kitchen and then snakes get in from the gaping hole in our house. Yeah. It might turn out to be a really bad idea. I know your biggest fear, though, a snake in the basement. That is not my biggest fear.

What's your biggest fear? Norm, that's my husband. You should know. My biggest fear. And I check for this every time. Oh. Snakes in the boot. No.

Snake in the toilet bites my vagina. Oh. That's my biggest fear. Anytime I've been on the toilet for, you know, a little while, I always check to see if the snake is looking at me. And I know it's ridiculous, but also it's not so ridiculous that I've ever stopped doing it, ever. It's, it is ridiculous. It's not going to happen. Yeah.

And the day I accept that is the day that, ow, a snake bites my vagina. You know, why am I even, you know what? You want to check the toilet for snakes? Do it all you want. No skin off your back, buddy. Okay. So Willis Murdaugh, who we sure hope murderers a snake. Murdaas.

He's going to murder that snake. Spots a snake in the road. Yeah. Stops because he's like, what kind of snake is that? He reversed his car. And when he reversed his car, the snake rose up, looked right at him. And before that fucker could lunge at him, Willis grabbed a jack handle, smacked the mess out of that cobra, and then he ran over it with his car.

And he ran over it again, and he ran over it again, and he ran over it again, and again. Because you could never be too careful around snakes. Norm, I don't think I have to tell you, but by this point, the people of Springfield were on high alert. What did that snake look like after his savage beating and getting run over 50 times? Was it like a cartoon? Was he just like flat on the road? I'm sure. I'm sure. Oh my God. But you've got to make sure he's really, truly dead.

I bet you loved this part of the story. Yeah, get them. I was rooting for them. I'm sorry to people who love snakes. Not really, but I felt like that was a polite thing to say. Okay. People were terrified because God knows how many deadly snakes were on the loose, and God knows how much crazy snake sex they had with each other,

and pretty soon the whole town of Springfield would be made entirely out of snakes. How do snakes have sex? I have heard that they, like, coil up in a disgusting mess. You know. Can you feel love to night? People knew exactly where to direct their fury. Yes. The Moore Animal Company?

M-O-W-R-E-R. Moorer? I don't know. Moorer. Yeah. It's a weird word. Okay. So far, all the cobras had been spotted in close proximity to more animal company.

The writing was on the wall, as were the snakes. Ha-ha. Anyway. But, you know, Rio was just sitting back sticking to his story. A week went by. People were really starting to freak out. It was summertime and child molesters hadn't been invented yet. So for the first time ever, parents were like, wait a minute, you're telling me I can't just let my kid play outside unattended.

I need to stand nearby with a hoe just in case a cobra shows up. People got paranoid. Child molesters Had not been invented yet You know, in retrospect, we shouldn't have invented them Who the hell invented them? A big mistake, kind of a Frankenstein situation. The local police department was flooded with calls from people who had found a snake

and weren't sure if it was a cobra But they needed the police to show up with a tank and an AK-47 just in case And then a six-year-old named Lizabeth Gail Parrish went up to her mom and was like, Mom, a snake just went into our garage. Oh, shit. And so, Mrs. Howard McCoy, that's how the newspapers referred to her at the time.

I looked around online. I think her name was Jane, but I can't confirm it for sure. Okay. She hauled ass into that garage, grabbed a hoe, spotted the snake, which, spoiler alert, was a cobra, shocker, and boom, murdered it with a hoe.

Man, I'm just more and more impressed by the hose. I'm trying to think of another garden tool that might be more effective. Maybe like a machete. Name one. You can't, no, because you don't want a hoe. A hoe, like, you can be far away and use a hoe. A hoe is longer than a machete, yeah. And a rake, yeah, a rake is too, it's too flexible.

It would just, yeah, just be like, bopping. No, that's the worst idea you've ever had. How about I poke a cobra? How about that? Oh! That's basically like, how about I insult this cobra's mother? Yeah. It might hurt its feelings and it'll go away.

I don't think so. A while later, you'll never guess. Never in a million years guess what people spotted hanging out in the grass near the Moore or Animal Company. A cobra? Yeah. Was it loitering? What? It was loitering?

Yes. Which is illegal. So they called the police and by the time the police arrived, good old Rio Moore had captured the cobra. and was like, hey, nothing to see here. Just me saving the day. You know, some heroes don't wear capes. They just pick up deadly cobras that definitely didn't come from their shitty little store. What is this guy doing with cobras?

He's suspect number one and only. Yes, yes. Yeah. What the hell is he doing with these cobras? Well, possibly losing them, supposedly selling them. Why you would sell these things, I have no idea. I don't like this name. It's for the snake nerds, Kristen.

God, okay. Later, on that very same day, shit went down at the Stockton residence. The Stockton family, you'll never believe it, lived across the street from the more animal company. So the mom was out in the yard, dad and kids were inside the house. And all of a sudden, the dad and kids hear the mom freaking out. So the kids ran outside And little Glenn Stockton Who was six years old at the time Later said that he and his sister came running toward the garden And they saw something coming through the grass toward them

Oh my God, I've got goosebumps So he put his sister behind him Told her not to move And then a cobra Reared up in front of them Spread its hood and began to weave back and forth Go get the hoe He said

It had Oh my God, I'm freaking out. He said it had, quote, black beady eyes looking at me with its tongue flicking in and out. Hmm. So sexy. No. Opposite. All of a sudden, Glenn's dad, L.H. Stockton, came running out the back door of the house, holless.

So he grabbed a rock and he boom, threw it down on the cobra. But the cobra was a huge asshole about it. And he was like, that didn't hurt at all. I'm four feet long but you didn't even hit me what kind of name is LH anyways and then This snake is sassy

Cobra slithered into an opening in the foundation of the Stockton Ho! Oh shit, that's bad LH Stockton was freaking out and also his feelings had been hurt because that snake was such a dick so LH called the police and the police showed up, and police chief Frank Pike was like, stand back everyone,

and he put his hand through the hole in the foundation, and he pulled back a snake skin. Oh, it's in there. Why would you? Oh, my God. And then he's like, okay, I'm going to need backup. So a bunch of officers showed up. And in the meantime, Frank revealed his very own handmade snake catcher. Oh, he made one.

It was just a 10-foot pole with like a noose at the end of it. Okay. Well, I mean, that's like an animal catcher thing too. Sure, okay. Okay, sure. So Frank got to work trying to, you know, strangle a cobra with his hand-made snake catcher. It's better with his bare hands. Oh, my God.

Wouldn't you know it normally the snake didn't want to be strangled that day? Yeah. I'm just now realizing it's probably not supposed to strangle the animal. You know, I catch them, but they're always dead. I don't get it. This snake was perfectly happy to take up residence in the Stockton's crawl space or whatever with the aim of gaining squatters rights. So...

Clearly. Everyone's freaking out. Everyone. Because that cobra just would not leave. You know what you need. What? A grenade. Are you serious?

Toss a grenade in that hole. Is that a serious idea? Yeah. Okay. Stay tuned. So the police talked to L.H. Stockton. I can't believe you said that. And they were like, okay, do we have your permission to do something a little crazy in order to get this cobra out of your house? And L.H. told the officers, quote, burn the house down if you have to. Which, yes, L.H, finally someone who is on my level. He gets it. He was like, my family is not going back in that house until the cobra is gone. And the police were like, say no more.

And an officer threw a tear gas grenade into the crawl space. Yes. That snake will be coughing coming out of that hole. As gas filled the space, officers positioned themselves around the home waiting for the cobra to emerge. And oh my God. Sure enough, it did. Yeah. It slithered out.

And officer Jack Strope was right there. Shotgun cocked. Ready to rumble. And as soon as he saw that hooded-headed-headed fucker, he pulled the trigger. Boom! My God! And it jammed. Oh, no!

The cobra was pissed. It had been through so much in life. It had dodged a rock. It had been poked with a 10-foot pole. It had been tear-gassed. It had been shot at unsuccessfully, but still, this cobra was serious. feeling. Officer Jack was like, oh no, the shotgun sucks.

So he grabbed his pistol out of his holster. He aimed. He fired. He shot the cobra. He fired again. He fired again. He shot the cobra. He fired again. He shot the cobra five times with slugs. And it was still moving and grooving back to the very foundation from whence it came. It got back in that hole. It was moving and grooving toward it. Okay. Try to keep up.

As it did so, the cobra raised its hooded head. As if to say, nice try assholes. And as soon as it did, police chief Frank Pike was like, Snake Neuse and he used his handmade snake catcher to wrangle the snake by the neck. They had it. It wasn't going anywhere. Would you like to guess how they finally killed it? Strangled it with their bare hands.

Oh. Oh, did they really? Yeah. Man, shout out to the hose. No kidding. By this point, city health director Del Kaywood was like, that is enough. This is ridiculous. We need to do something.

Riyomower, we know you say you're innocent, but no one. Literally, no one is dumb enough to believe you. So you need to take all your snakes outside of the city limits. You can keep some fish here, some small birds. Okay. But anything dangerous or deadly needs to be the F out of city limits. get going. Rio was not happy about that. And he whined and he whined about how unfair it was. Because he definitely, you know, those weren't his cobras that were all over his store and the nearby

land. Then who's were they, Rio? How should he know? He was perfectly innocent. But, you know, he had no choice. He did what he was told. Meanwhile, firefighters and police officers burned off the grass and all the lots that surrounded the store. They didn't want to leave patches of grass for the cobras to hide in. Hell yeah. But those snakes were sneaky because a while later a guy named H.K. Patton was driving down East Chestwood Expressway when he saw a snake. And of course, by that point, the people of Springfield were not taking any chances. All snakes were cobras until proven otherwise in a court of law. So he ran his car over the thing. And when he backed up to make sure he'd killed it,

the snake, which was, of course, a cobra, rose up, spread its hood, and bam, lunged at its vehicle. Holy crap! Then the cobra boot scoot and buggyed all the way to under a truck at the Twilight Inn. So soon, all the people at the Twilight Inn came running out. They didn't need an explanation. Another cobra was on the loose, and it was mad. So they ran over, tried to trap it. Police showed up, and this time, they crushed the cobra's head with a rock.

Oh. Wait, that cobra got run over, but it ran to the Twilight in? I think it slithered. Damn. Some of these stories like, do I really believe that that one snake was shot five times and didn't walk with a limp? You know, come on. I believe it. All right.

So they crushed this cobra's head with a rock. Everyone stood around. Amazed. It had huge fangs. And then when it was good and dead, they pressed on the venom sack. And liquid spurted out. And everyone was like, ew. Why are they doing that?

Because they're hicks. You know, we're welcome to Missouri norm. We're all hillbillies here deep down, even those of us who try to deny it. So deep down, you love snakes. No. But if there's a sack full of something and someone's pressing down on it, I am going to watch. You're going to watch. That's what you're like, Dr. Pimple Popper?

Yeah, I don't need the stories. Just give me the goods. Give me the popping, baby. I don't want to hear about, oh, it's been so hard for me with this thing. No, just start popping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When are we popping this thing? I don't need to hear your backstory.

Boo fucking who. Let's pop this fucker. Norm, it was pandemonium. The health director was like, it's only a matter of time before someone gets bit by one of these cobras and we're not equipped to deal with that kind of bite because we've never had to be. So they reached out to Florida and got a shipment of anti-venom

so that the city of Springfield would be ready when someone inevitably got bitten by a cobra. They need to form the Springfield Snake Patrol and wear little patches with a guy holding up a hoe. Norm, tell me more. How do you solve this problem? I just told you, the Springfield Snake Patrol. And they just roam the entire city looking for cobras?

Interesting. Okay. So as soon as they got the shipment of anti-venom, the local newspaper, the Springfield leader in press, ran a story announcing that the anti-venom would be free for anyone who needed it 24-7. Great. Sounds like socialism, though. Yeah, I don't like it. I think people should die. If you get sick, that seems like it's your fault. Then, on October 1st, a guy named Dan Funkhouser was at his plumbing and heating shop. Sorry.

When his... The last name Funkhouser is very fun. It's a wonderful name. He's great. When his hunting dogs, who were out back, started going nuts. He looked out the window and saw his dogs had cornered a huge snake. So he was like, what the funk? And his employee, a guy named Hardy Teague grabbed a hoe and heartily murdered that cobra.

Yes. The hoe strikes again. Then they put the carcass in an old lard can and brought it down to police headquarters. Look what we did. Aren't we great? Bucket of Crisco. Probably, right? Lieutenant Leonard Thomas was like, good work, boys, and he opened up the lard can and took a look.

And holy shit, it was still alive! Oh, my God! It opened its mouth. And then police chief Frank Pike was like, I'll get my snake pole. And he nabbed it. He choked the mess out of that snake. And Lieutenant Leonard Thomas killed it for real this time with an ice pick. Boom!

He would have trouble choking it because it was so greasy from being in a lard can. That's true. It would be a mess. It would be the most deadly sick. Can't catch me. Ooh, Crisco. At this point, the city reached a bad ideas do not exist, state of mind. And it was in that spirit, God bless them, that they came up with a cartoonish, deeply problematic idea for how to get all the cobras out of their fair city.

Okay. I just told you it's a cartoonish idea. It's problematic. What they come up with, Norm? What do you got? Well, if it's problematic... It's not great. Problematic.

Springfield Snake... So they're going to start a snake patrol. Maybe. And are they just going to, like, burn all the grass in Springfield? That's problematic to you. I mean, what if someone's working hard on their lawn? I think you and I have different definitions of the word problematic. I'm just thinking, what could be problematic?

Are they just going to kill every snake they see? No matter what? idea. I endorse that idea. Okay, so you don't think that's problematic at all, actually. I'm going to... Just tell me, what is it? They decided to use the foolproof strategy of playing, quote, Indian snake charming music. What? As it so happened, local car dealer John Dukwitz had a relative who'd done some ministry in India.

And oh, look, that relative had come back with a record that contained. You know, snake charming music maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't you have to, like, train the snake to dance to the music? You can't just play it for any random snake. And the stakes can be like, ooh, I'm dancing. I have no idea why. Yeah, Norm, you've pointed out this idea is deeply stupid, but we're going to keep going with it.

Because it's our only idea, and no one's saying no. So, City Health Director Del Kaywood got a truck with some big. speakers mounted on top of it. Oh my god. And for 45 minutes, he rode around the city of Springfield with police officers walking alongside the vehicle, guns drawn, ready to kill all the Cobras that were definitely going to come out to the music. They think the snakes are going to come dancing out to the music and they'll shoot them as they come out. This is literally something that happened in the Simpsons. Shut up.

Which takes place in Springfield. Did they get inspired by this? I think they did a rip from the headline story. Norm, it wasn't just police officers out there. A bunch of local dudes trailed along two, armed with dozens of hose and shovels, while the Indian snake charming music played loudly throughout the town. Did they get any snakes?

Worth noting. A lot of people thought that this idea was really stupid. This wasn't like one of those stories where it's like, it's 1953. We're all in agreeance that this is a great idea. No. People thought it was dumb for several reasons. But most notably because snakes can't hear, or at least they can kind of hear, but they mostly just feel vibrations. Right.

Okay. So in the Simpsons episode, that's what they do. They play deep bass music and I put it into the ground and it shakes. And so all the snakes came toward it. Okay, well, you know, people made fun of this idea. They said it was, you know, the cobra blues that they were playing out there. And, you know, oh, it's like an ice cream truck where they're trying to catch cobras. How dumb.

Ha ha. But guess who had the last laugh? Did they get one? Well, when that truck rounded the Reynolds Manufacturing Company at 600 North Prospect Avenue, holy shit, guess what they found? It was a cobra. It slithered out from under a loading dock. And a worker dropped a brake drum on it and boom killed it.

We've done it. Now, was that cobra lured out from under the loading dock because of those sweet tunes? No. Definitely, absolutely shut up. It definitely wasn't just a weird coincidence. Oh, my God, I love this song. This story got so wild that it grew into something much bigger than a local news story. Life magazine covered it.

Newsweek covered it. Fun fact, when the photographer for life came out, the police officers did a kind of like staged snake hunt. You know, they were looking for snakes, but it was mostly for the photos. And, you know, all they found was a lousy turtle. Oh, damn turtle. We don't care about you turtles. Local bars offered up cobra cocktails. Oh, this is fun.

A local car dealer made a sign that read, no cobras, but bargains in clean used cars. It's not very catchy, but all right. A tavern owner on Walnut Street painted a snake on the window, and they painted the words Headquarters for Cobra Snake Bite Remedies. It was funny until someone died there. Did someone die there? Yeah, they thought they were getting anti-venom, and they just died because they were giving a vodka shot. I'm just kidding.

No one. Kristen. Sorry. Shoe stores reported an uptick in the sale of sturdy shoes. Children's shoes sold like never before. previously people let their kids go around barefoot, but not anymore. So these cobras are stimulating the economy. Yes. We should be thankful, actually, for the cobras.

These are job creators, okay? Right. Word got out that cobras enjoy sweet milk, apparently, and so people set milk out in the summer heat. Oh, gross. Hoping to lure some cobras, and, you know, it not only didn't work, it was absolutely disgusting. It smelled.

Oh, God. For a while, the city of Springfield changed its seal. It normally had a serpent on it, but they changed it to a cobra. Yeah, you got to. And then, on October 25th, someone found what proved to be the 11th and final cobra of the great cobra scare. They discovered it. You're not going to believe this. By the fucking animal company?

Yeah. Yeah. So they took the snake to the Dickerson Park Zoo. and by that point the story was so big that 5,000 people came out to see that cobra. It died after just two months, and boy, am I sad to tell you that. Kristen, have a heart. I can't. If you're wondering how people felt about Rio Moore at this point, the answer was,

still mad. Even though he had moved all his creepy crawlers outside the city limits, someone discovered that he'd, oops, lost some rattlesnakes. What? This dude's just introducing all sorts of damn animals into Springfield. Technically, rattlesnakes you find them in Missouri, I guess. I don't know. But he's certainly not caging these animals up very well.

No, well, like rattlesnakes aren't living in the city. They're out in the woods or something. They're not renting a duplex. They're small town girls. That's right. Now, if you're wondering how Rio Moore felt, the answer was, still a victim. Rio wrote a letter to city officials stating, quote,

I can truthfully, honestly, and with a free conscience tell you that these snakes have not originated from my place of business. I am as much or more perturbed by their presence out of captivity as anyone who resides in Springfield. He was like totally innocent, Norm. Why does this guy just fess up? I mean, who else is bringing the cobras in? Maybe he didn't do it, Norm. Maybe he's totally innocent. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.

Nut job pet owners from around the country supported Rio by sending telegrams to city officials protesting his persecution. Like the Tiger King. This guy is the OG. Joe Exotic? Yes. I swear to you, he is the OG Tiger King. Wow. They were like, your town is home to rattlesnakes and copperheads. Rattlesnakes and copperheads are way more aggressive than cobras.

So just calm down about the cobras. They're the sweetest deadly snakes. did see. In fact, they love to be stroked. Signed a cobra probably. I don't know. I can't believe anyone defended this man. So by this point, local district attorney Douglas Green had a decision to make. And he evidently decided that he might not have enough to make a rock solid case against Rio. But he could sure his shit put some pressure on him. And so yada, yada, yada, yada. Rio Moore packed up his shit and moved his ass to Florida. Seems like a place to live

for an exotic animal guy. I agree. Yeah. Rio was gone. But that didn't necessarily mean that the cobras were gone. Between August 15th and October 25th, they'd found 11 cobras in Springfield. As winter set in, people feared that the

cobras might have gotten down to the local quarry. If they did, they could probably survive the winter, have all kinds of sex, breed like bunnies, and then terrorize the town for years to come. Mm. Sexy times. In January of 1954, the city passed an ordinance, barring the sale or display of deadly snakes and reptiles. So that ought to do it.

That'll keep them out. Oh, hey, fellas, it's illegal here. But winter came and went, and the cobras didn't come back. True. Nobody found any cobra eggs either, which either meant that the cobras didn't find one another sexually attractive, or hopefully the snakes were all dudes or all ladies. Either one was fine, but definitely not a mix. God help us all.

Gay snakes? Sure. Yeah. Absolutely. We welcome the gay snakes. I mean, if we have to have them, as time passed, and no more cobra is turned up, people started to relax. They started to laugh about the situation.

I have a feeling the snakes are coming back. People sold commemorative cobra plates. Uh-huh. Little souvenirs. Are the snakes coming back? Years passed. Decades passed. Even though everyone was sure that Rio Moore was responsible for the Great Cobra Scare of 1953,

they'd never gotten what they really wanted. A confession. Well, they killed all the witnesses. What? The snakes. They're all dead. They killed them with hose. So, in 1973, 20 years after the Great Cobra Scares,

reporter Mike O'Brien of the Springfield leader and press discovered that Rio Moore had moved back to his hometown in Unionville, Missouri. Unionville is a small town. So if Springfield is the buckle of the Bible Belt, Unionville is the eyebrow. The eyebrow? Yeah. You understand where an eyebrow is in relation to a belt. It's further north, okay? Okay.

Branson is the dong of the Bible Belt. Springfield's the buckle. Unionville's the eyebrow. I can't make it more clear than this. So Ibrow is north of Springfield. Yes. Got it. Okay.

So Mike showed up at Rio's house and he was like, hey, it's been 20 years. Come on. Tell me the truth. Did the Cobras come from your store? Did they come from your store? You can tell me. Come on, man. I won't tell anyone, except for anyone who reads the local newspaper.

Rio paused. He got kind of quiet. And finally, he said the following. quote, there is a man still alive who might have been responsible. But I couldn't mention his name. I think he's working for a fire department now somewhere down in Florida. And that was it. He wouldn't say anymore.

What? By the way, if you're wondering what Rio had been up to in the previous 20 years, you are in for a treat. Okay, so he took his badly contained zoo to Florida. And he said things were going great until F and Bush Gardens opened up. He said, quote, Augie Bush started up his park there and it's pretty hard to compete against money like that and free beer, which I doubt they were giving out free beer at Bush Gardens. Everyone would be there. Wait a minute.

Was he trying to compete with Bush Gardens? Wasn't he selling the animals? Who the F knows what this man was up to? I'm telling you, this guy is the original Joe Exotic. You think Joe Exotic could be like, yeah, this is my business plan. Here's what I do. Here's what I don't do. Here's all my safety protocols.

No, it's just whatever to make a buck. That man is ridiculous. That district attorney of Springfield, that fucking bitch. Yeah. Carol Baskins. So, yeah, according to him, whatever operation he had in Florida was going great until that asshole Augie Bush showed up. So then what's he do? Does he get out of the game?

No, he does not. Instead, he starts importing bigger animals. Animals like baby elephants. That's right. Bigger is better. He kept them in his backyard. He said that when the elephants got hungry, he had to get up and feed them real fast or they'd, quote, tear down my back door. Well, yeah. Ridiculous. After that, he became the assistant director of a zoo in Monroe, Louisiana. And then he had heart trouble. And his doctors were like, dude, hey, maybe for the sake of your health stop importing deadly animals. And so... Quit raising baby elephants in your backyard.

So then he opened an antique store. Oh. In 1977, a few years after he gave that interview, Rio died. So it was official. The mystery of the great cobra scare would never be solved. No. I don't believe you. But people still talked about it.

Uh-huh. There it is. And journalists still wrote about it. And in May of 1988, Springfield magazine published a write-up about the Great Cobra Scare of 1953, and someone read that article, and they went to their friend and said, Hey, man, I think it's time to come clean. People deserve to know what happened. And so, Carl Bennett, who by that point had kept his involvement in the Great Cobra Scare,

a secret for 35 years, came forward. But first, he can see. assaulted with an attorney. And after hearing Carl's story, the attorney said, yeah, I think you're good. What's it called when, like, enough time has passed? You can't be charged with the crime anymore. I think you're thinking of the statute of limitations. Right. There's some other stuff that I think would come into play here, but I can't tell you that until after I've told you what happened. So basically, the attorney said, I think after all this time, it's unlikely that they're going to press charges. So Carl reached out to reporter Mike O'Brien, that same reporter who'd traveled to Unionville to interview Rio Moore, and he said, I'm the one that done it. And from there, the story unraveled.

Oh, shit. All right, what happened? Carl was 60 years old when he came forward, but he'd been 14 years old in the summer of 1953. He was a little punk. A little prankster. He'd been a student at Jarrett Jr. High School. And money was tied at home. So he did what a lot of kids did. He found ways to make some money.

You know, for a while, he gathered up empty bottles on the side of the road. And he used that money to get him enough money to go to a movie and buy a candy bar, simple stuff. But after a while, oh, he wanted more. You see, Carl was a curious boy. He had a friend who was really into tropical fish. and they often went together to the five and dime to look at the fish. And Carl wanted a tropical fish so bad. But after a while, Carl, you know, got a little bored with the five and dime.

They didn't have a big variety of fish. Did he go to the Moorer Animal Company? He sure did. And he was so impressed. That place had variety. It was nuts what was in there. It had fish he'd never even seen before. He was kind of enthralled by the place.

And after enough conversations with the owner, Rio Moore, Carl found out that the store had so much more than what was displayed in the main room. The store had a back room. It had a garage. Did the back room have the red silk curtain in the rental stores? You want to look at the real good animals, kid? Come on back. Oh, yeah. He found out that Rio kept a 20-foot python in a bathtub.

Cool! Worth noting, Carl was not afraid of snakes. Quite the opposite, in fact. Until he was about five years old, he'd lived out in the country. He was comfortable with snakes. Too comfortable if you ask me. And even when his family moved into town, they weren't in town. They were on the edge of town near fields and swamps where snakes slithered around constantly. So pretty soon Carl and Rio worked out a business deal. Carl would go out and catch snakes and he'd bring them to Rio for store credit. For Carl, that was everything. He wanted an exotic fish so bad.

So he was just going out catching snakes and saving up for a fish? Saving up store credit to buy a fish. He even gathered a bunch of buddies and they went on these snake finding missions. They peddled their bicycles all over the place looking for snakes. This is terrifying, disgusting. I hate it. A wild thing. Oh, my gosh.

At one point, they found dozens of ringnecked snakes. I don't even ringnecked snakes. I don't even know what that means. I can barely say it. They were so cool, apparently. Some of the kids at school wanted to buy them. They sold the snakes for a quarter apiece. And Carl felt like he was the wrong.

richest dude on earth. One glorious day. Norman, he made $5 that day. Adjusted for inflation, that was $60. That was really saying something because at the time his dad was driving a truck, making 10 or 15 bucks a day. And here he was a kid. He's out hustling, dad? Not out hustling, but I mean, that's pretty impressive. See him strolling through the liver and counting his quarters. Dad's like, where the hell did you get that money? Don't talk back to me, dad. I'm richer than you are. Yeah, go clean yourself up. Flip some a quarter.

Carl was a little business dude, wheeling and dealing the snakes at school and amassing enough snakes to make a solid exchange with Rio more. How could life be better? So did he get a cobra from Rio? Norm, I just told you he wants a fish. I've been so clear he wants a fish. I feel like he's kind of getting into snakes a lot here.

Uh-huh. And he's going to be like, What's the coolest freaking snake you have? And Rio's like, check this out. Open a drawer and a cobra pops out. Okay. And he gets to cobra. How does that explain how they got all over the place?

I guess it doesn't. Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Finally, in August of 1953, Carl did it. He'd earned enough snake credit at the store to get that rare tropical fish he'd had his eye on. Oh, my God, he did it. He made the exchange. He was so proud. He took that fish home.

Finally, his hard work had paid off. Oh, he was thrilled. He had it all worked out in his head. He was going to breed that fish with the other fish. And oh, boy, oh boy, he'd be a business cat then selling off tropical fish right and left. Man, you remember that feeling as a kid of saving up your money and you finally get that thing you wanted? Yeah. It's a great feeling.

But Norm, that night, the first night he had that fish, it died. What? Unbelievable. Carl was shocked and frankly kind of pissed off. Did he slap it on the counter at the animal company? He's like, I want a refund, buddy. Yes, so he went right back to more animal company. Dead fish in tow, ready to give them a piece of his mind. Unfortunately, Rio wasn't at the store that day. Did he release the cobras as revenge? Instead, Carl encountered one of Rio's employees.

And even more, unfortunately, that dude was rude to him. He did it as revenge. Carl explained the situation that he traded in all these snakes for this one fish and had died immediately and the guy behind the counter was like, that's tough, kid, get lost. And that made Carl mad. Holy shit. What a sneaky little devil.

What choice did he have? He left the store, fishless. But he couldn't let it go. He wanted to get even. And so, Carl, went around to the back of the store. See, Rio had a habit of keeping some of the new inventory out back. And Carl had gone back out there in the past just to see what was there.

And this time, he saw a wooden crate full of snakes. He'd been back there enough to know that the snakes always came in crates that looked just like the one he was staring at. For the record, Carl wants everyone to know that he did not know that the crate was full of cobras. He said that when he'd been at the store a few days earlier, he'd seen Rio with some indigo snakes. Carl says he figured that the crate was full of more indigo snakes. And ideally, he would have gotten back the snakes he'd traded in for the fish, but Carl figured that the indigo snakes were worth about the same amount of money as the ones he'd traded in.

So he went up to that wooden crate, which had trap doors on either side of it. He pressed a latch to open it. He looked inside. They looked like indigo snakes. Yeah, until they flare their little necks out. The one thing he did not do was reach in and pick up one of those snakes. He says that would have been his usual MO. Pick up the snake, have a look at it.

But for whatever reason, he didn't that day. He knew it was a cobra, right? That's what I think. Yeah. But I also think he's 14. And this man is keeping these things out back where anyone can come get them. This is on the owner of the store, in my opinion. But yeah, I absolutely believe this kid knew what he was looking at. Yeah, well, and you can tell what snake is venomous and which is not by

the shape of their head. So he probably saw the shape of the head and was like, oh, this is a deadly snake. And I'm not touching this thing. Looking back, he said, I don't know why I didn't mess with them. It sure wasn't because I knew they were cobras. If I'd known what they were in the first place, or if one had raised up out of that box and made a hood, I would have slammed down that. lid tight. I had no idea. And so, since he had no idea that they were cobras, he left the trap door open and he got on his bike and he rode away. He said that it wasn't until all those reports came out about cobras showing up around the mower animal company that he realized what he'd done. He said he panicked. He was scared to death. Those cobras were all anyone in Springfield could

talk about. He was terrified that someone would be bitten by one of the the cobras. And he was also terrified that he'd be found out and sent to jail, but he was never found out. No, I mean, how do you even, you could never trace it to him? Let's say, dusted that cage for fingerprints or something. I think you could. How would you catch him unless he confessed? It would require Rio being honest and saying, yeah, I had. Kid came in, he was pissed, I had co-os. Hold on. First, he says, yes, I am missing Cobras. Because that was the truth. He'd been lying this whole

time about, oh, no, missing Cobras here. Yeah, because originally he was like, I don't sell Cobras, right? No, he said he sold Cobras. Yeah. But he said he didn't have any missing. Ah. Carl came and let them out of the wooden crate. So, Rio, the adult, who kept deadly cobras out back where anyone could access them, and then lied to everyone.

said, oh, no, I'm not missing any of them. Yeah. This is on him. Yeah, true. But the kid also opened. Sure. Sure. Sure.

I think it's a little on him, too. Well, it is a little on him, but he is a kid, and this is completely foreseeable, I think. I mean, you shouldn't keep the cobras out back in a crate. No, no, you shouldn't. You know why? Because literally anyone can come up and open the box. talks, literally anyone. The customer is always right, folks. You don't want this happening.

So he had this terrible secret and he kept it for years. He grew up, stayed in the area, he dabbled in the trades, he became a mechanic, a welder, a concrete finisher. But that cobra scare always weighed on him. And it wasn't until 30 years later that he finally confided in a friend. and it was that friend who convinced him to come forward. Coming forward was a weird thing for Carl. He'd been so tight-lipped about it for so long.

He told the reporter, my mom is going to find out about what I did by reading about it in the paper. She's going to get a spanking. Get over here, Carl! But people still had questions for Carl. Questions like, okay, dude, we found 11 of them. How many snakes did you actually release that day?

Carl didn't have an exact figure. Yeah, how would you know? Okay, he remembered that the crate had two trap doors, which to him indicated that it was divided in half. And when he'd looked inside, he estimated that there were probably 25 or 30 snakes in that crate. Oh, shit. So hopefully, a maximum of 15 cobras slithered all over Springfield.

11 were captured and talked about publicly. But hopefully, hopefully, Rio silently captured the rest. Yeah, or just random residents killed him and just never reported it. Maybe, but I really, there were reports of Rio as he's saying, oh no, I haven't had any cobras. He's also running all around the place, clearly looking for snakes. With a hoe. Yeah, clearly.

After the story was published, Carl was relieved by the reaction. He was afraid that people were going to hate him. him. But people seem to just get a laugh out of it. Well, luckily, no one was hurt. Exactly. Yeah. If someone had been seriously injured or died, it would have been a problem. Carl passed away in 2009, hopefully with a clear conscience. Mm-hmm.

You feel like I'm being too nice to this guy. No, no. I don't know. I think this is 100% on the business owner. Well, 90% on the business owner. Let's go 90-10. Okay. Or maybe 80-20.

My percentage might be a little different than yours. These days the story is a celebrated, quirky part of Springfield history. But one thing that everyone wishes that they could figure out is, whatever happened to all those dead cobras? People wonder what happened to the dead cobras? Yeah, because we know that they were saved. At least some of them were. So two were taxidermied and stuffed.

One was displayed at City Hall for a while, but for some reason it got a lot of wear and tear. Now it's nowhere to be found. People petting the snake? I don't know what they were doing to that snake. But now we can't find either of them. It's believed that a science teacher at Jarrett Junior High School, Herbert Condre, preserved at least six of the cobras in jars of isopropanol. I think that's how to say.

Isoapropyl alcohol. Yeah. One of them was given to Central High School, but it disappeared. Damn. There were rumors that the Dickerson Park Zoo might have. one? If that's true, she's gone. Maybe Jarrett Junior High School. If that's true, she's gone. Maybe the Springfield Art Museum. If that's true, she's also gone. Damn, where all these snakes going? At one point, someone came forward and they were like,

I know where the jars of Cobras are! They are tucked into the attic of Herbert Condre's former home. So this was a huge thing. The new homeowner was like, oh my God, dead snakes in my Attic, hell no, let's take a look. So they were up for it. A reporter, a photographer, and a next-door neighbor all went up into that attic, ready to find him. Where are the snakes? And they found... Nothing. Nothing. Yeah.

So, the location of the cobras is a mystery. A mystery for all but one of those 11 cobras. And that's because in 1980, a former sheriff donated his cobra in a jar to Drury University. and it remains on display at Drury University in Springfield. No one's sure which of the 11 Cobra's this one is in the jar? Uh-huh. Was it the one that was shot five times? Was it the one that was run over by a car 11 billion times?

That was flattened like a pancake. One thing is sure. It has a bullet wound below its hood. And if it could speak, it would probably say. And that's the story of the great. Copra Scare of 1953. Great job, Kristen. I'm glad you got through that story.

You know, it's kind of fun, but I also kind of really hated it, too. That was a great story. Never heard that. I love a story where nobody gets hurt. Yeah, it's fun. Old-timey. Uh-huh. Stupid as hell.

Blaring music. Oh, my gosh. They should have blared Lincoln Park. I cannot take this anymore. And the snakes were like, Yeah, finally someone gets me. Can you look at the snake at Drury University? Yeah, I think so.

I think they've got it on display in some lobby somewhere. I can't remember. So, plaque alert? Yes, yes, a plaque alert. It's kind of cool. So the local high school, they did a musical about this a couple years ago. Yeah, I love the lore around it. Like, it becomes legendary in the town and, like, the town celebrates it.

I think that's cool. Yeah, and there's a local brewery they did. They have like some kind of sour ale that they named the Cobra Scare or something like that. It's kind of cool. They embrace it now. That's cool. We should go to Springfield. Check it out.

Springfield, Springfield. Springfield. It's a hell of a town. School yards up. The shopping mall's down. It's a good song. Wow. What an exciting episode, Kristen.

I was really grossed out by it. Not only did you talk about your greatest fear. Snakes. We also had Dr. Hubert Montgomery. make a surprise appearance. I'm just so disappointed that you couldn't be in the same room with him at the same time. Yet again. Well, you know, when you got to use the bathroom, you got to use the bathroom.

How are you doing, by the way? Honestly, I was so excited. Uh-huh. It's just my bells released when I answered the door. I was like, she's upstairs. I got to go. How embarrassing for you, Norman. I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you all for listening, by the way. Yeah. We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of us starting this podcast, and it's kind of exciting. We dropped the episode with my dad on it. Ah, yes. My God, y'all loved being D-Ped, you bunch of hoes. Well, we don't call them history hos for nothing.

I'll tell you that. No, it was very sweet to see all the nice comments about people enjoying my dad. That was a weird thing to say. Oh, God. I did want to read one comment from Patreon. Hold, please, while I grab my phone. Okay. You know, I could have had this pulled up.

Did I? No. No, I did not. Hey, we do a lot of improv on this show. Oh, yeah. I'm improvving this whole script, making it up, whole cloth. Okay. I have to share this comment.

It's on Patreon. On the episode we dropped with my dad. Only because when I watched the video version, I kept noticing myself doing this and I kept waiting for other people to comment because I thought it was so obvious and so weird that I was doing it. What were you doing? Oh, before I read you this comment, did you notice anything about me in that video? Were you side-eyeing me a lot?

I remember we were glancing at each other a lot during that recording. True. The name of this person is Most Beautiful Woman in Elizabeth City. Oh. She writes, Pig butter investor is worth it just to see Kristen sit in a fully defensive posture year for two hours straight while listening to her father, likely praying he doesn't say something too offensive, LOL.

I can relate. You were kind of lean back with your arms folder. I was squeezing my hands and like fully ready for him to say something awful. And like his whole story where he was duping us the whole time, I was like, what the fuck is happening in this story? The sequence is just, and this happens and this happens and this happens. I was waiting for someone to get murdered. And then, anyway, if you haven't listened to that episode

and you're needing a charming old white guy in your life, go listen to that episode, won't you? Yeah, you're trying to get d-ped this weekend? Pull it up. It won't even hurt. But yeah, thank you. Thank you to everyone for supporting this kind of still new, sexy, independent podcast.

Mm-hmm. Thank you very much. Well, Curzon, should we wrap it up? Let's wrap it up. Kristen, you know what they say about history hosts. We always cite. our sources. That's right. For this episode, I got my information from many years worth of reporting by Mike O'Brien for the Springfield Newsleader, reporting by Greta Cross for the Springfield

newsletter, as well as reporting from Ozarks Alive, Ozarks Watch Video Magazine, and more. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're at it, subscribe. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Join the Reddit community, R-slash Old Timey Podcast. Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old Timey Podcast. And you can also follow us individually on Instagram. I'm at Kristen Pitts-Karuso, and he's a gaming historian.

And until next time, Tootoo, Tata, and Cheerio! Bye! Bye!