An Old Timey Podcast - 86: Samuel Adams Disappears (Part 2)

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

Samuel Adams (no, not *that* Samuel Adams) was nowhere to be found. His friends and family were alarmed. They feared that the respected small business owner had met a violent end. Meanwhile, across town, John Caldwell Colt was up to no good. He tried to cover his tracks, but the man in the office next door was onto him.  Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Norm pulled from: Crain, Caleb. “What Was the (New) York Shilling?” Steamboats Are Ruining Everything, February 11, 2020.https://steamthing.com/2020/02/what-was-the-new-york-shilling.html.Dunphy, Thomas. Remarkable Trials of All Countries. Diossy & Company, 1870.Edwards, William. The Story of Colt’s Revolver. Stackpole Co, 1953.Phelps, M. Devil’’s Right Hand: The Tragic Story of the Colt Family Curse. Lyons Press, 2013.Schechter, Harold. Killer Colt: Murder, Disgrace, and the Making of an American Legend. 1st ed. Open Road Integrated Media, Inc, 2010.Vangermeersch, Richard. “The Life and Writings of John C. Colt (1810-1842).” University of Rhode Island, 2010.Are you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts!Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Norman Caruso. And I'm Kristen Caruso. And on this episode, Samuel Adams goes missing. I don't think they're going to find him. I listened to the first episode, Norm. I was there the whole time, I swear. Really? No blow-up dolls were used. And I happened to know that that dude ended up in a box. Well, then they did find him. Lightly salted. Oh, I guess, oh, yeah, that is. Okay, I'm, I'm keeping up with you. But are you, dear listener, keeping up with our Patreon?

Mm, good question. Supporting a small, independent, sexy podcast is good and good for you. Supporters on Patreon get ad-free video episodes plus cards and stickers. And for just $5 a month, you can binge our entire back catalog of bonus episodes. We've got a three-hour episode about testicles. Don't ask, just sign up and watch it. We have a two-parter on the time Agatha Christie disappeared. I find it fascinating.

I hope you will too. So subscribe to our Patreon to binge all those episodes and support a small, independent, sexy podcast. Patreon.com slash old-timey podcast. Very good, Kristen. It was concise, wasn't it? Oh, shit, it's not concise if I brag about it and talk about how great a job I did. Never mind. overthinking this.

No. You know, that testicles episode, the video version is wild. Too hot for the internet. That makes it sound like you're showing stuff to people. Don't worry. No, there are no, you don't get to see testicles in that episode. You don't get you. The people wished for it, they prayed for it, they demanded it, and we said, no, no.

Go to someone else's Patreon for that. There was, gosh, there was an early episode where like my shorts really, were hiked up one episode and I had to stand up to like adjust it and I blurt it out because man it was it was really hiked up but anyway should we get into this episode Kristen I think I'd like to talk some more about the time you got that fabric jammed so far into that crack that we worried if it might affect your brain I was flossing them cheeks that's for sure you know what on second thought I realized you know we've really got to keep this more of a family program we've started this off weird, not so much a family program.

But let's get back to the family program with this sweet little tale you're about to tell us. Yep, Gaya is missing, but don't worry, they find them and everything's okay. Oh, boy, let's go. But before we get into it, I do have a very minor mistakes of shame I'd like to talk about. Sounds like you're not taking it seriously enough. Mistakes? Of shame. Kristen, in part one of this series, I mentioned that John Colt,

dated a lady named Francis Anne Frank. Her last name was actually Francis Ann Meyer, not Frank. Francis Frank would be kind of a goofy name, huh? John referred to her as Frank in one of his letters, but I think that was just a nickname for Francis. Yeah. So I just misunderstood. So I apologize for bringing immense shame to this podcast. And as Samuel Colt once said, I will do better.

Wow. This has been another incredibly shameful segment of mistakes of shame. And with that, let's get into it. Before we get into part two, let's recap part one. Previously. Oh, that's on you. Previously. Oh, can I do it?

Yeah, you can do it. I'll let you do it. Previously on an old shiny podcast. We learned that in the fall of 1841, New York City officials uncovered the decomposing body of Samuel Adams. You sound too excited. He was a printer. Sorry, let me tone it down. Let me tone it down. He was a printer who had been missing for the past week. Adams was found inside a crate, tied up with rope, half naked. Someone had sprinkled salt all over his body to help disguise the awful smell. It was a gruesome discovery, but it was also exactly what authorities were looking for. In fact,

they had already arrested the man they deemed responsible, John Caldwell Colt, who was John Colt. He was an accountant who had recently written a popular textbook on bookkeeping. He was also the older brother of Samuel Colt, the famous inventor of the Colt Revolver. In our last episode, we dove into John Colt's early life. He was born in a somewhat prominent Connecticut family. His father was a successful merchant trader, who envisioned his children being successful, just like him. But John was a mischievous kid. He always seemed to get into trouble, whether that be stealing apples or slapping a horse on its ass and getting bucked. John was in and out of school. He had trouble

focusing. He preferred playing sports and fishing instead of learning. Kristen believed he had undiagnosed ADHD. I diagnosed him. Don't worry. I'm more than qualified. Okay. Speaking from experience. I have a communications degree from Simmons University. Wow.

I know. Go sharks. But there was one subject John excelled at. Math. He took that knowledge and learned bookkeeping as a teenager. A pretty specialized skill at that But John Colt couldn't just live a life as a bookkeeper. He tried everything and anything. Fur trading, dry goods merchant, canal building, party planner, the Marines, teaching, lecturing, and more. It seemed like John just couldn't find his one true calling in life.

That was the opposite of his little brother, Samuel Colt. At a young age, Samuel found a passion for weaponry and engineering. He tinkered with his grandfather's old pistols and read scientific encyclopedias cover to cover. And after finding inspiration while traveling the world, Samuel was obsessed with, with inventing a new pistol, one that could reliably fire multiple rounds without reloading. Samuel toured the country to raise money, whined and dined investors, and worked with gunsmiths on prototypes. And in 1836, he released his first gun, the Colt Patterson. John found inspiration in his little brother.

He was now determined to create something that would leave a mark on the world. And so John went all in on the one skill he excelled at. bookkeeping. In 1838, John Colt published his first book. The Science of Double Entry Bookkeeping. It was an old-timey for Dummies book that explained the ins and outs of double entry bookkeeping. The book sold well, but three years later in 1841, both John and Samuel found themselves in a little bit of a rut. For John, he had invested his profits into a publishing company that failed. For Samuel, his new weapon was suffering from quality control issues. soldiers found it difficult to use. The military said it wasn't good enough, and investors were getting impatient.

By 1841, John and Samuel Colt were both working primarily out of New York City. John was now self-publishing his accounting book, and he was on the lookout for a printing company that could make copies of the 9th edition, and he found one run by a man named Samuel Adams. On this episode of an old-timey podcast, Samuel Adams goes missing. Ooh, that was a long recap. It really was. I started to feel like maybe I was in the wrong episode and I'd gone back to the first one, but I'm here, baby.

Sorry about that. That's all right. We'll allow it. Okay. We all loved hearing more about how good he was at accounting. Frankly, we'd love to hear more, but there's just no time. There's just never enough time to learn about accounting. Somehow, there is never enough time.

It's wild. No, we're not going to get into that. What? Well, now we're, now all of us are intrigued, Norman. I was going to go on a stupid rant about our tax system and how the IRS knows how much we owe every year. And we have a whole industry built around us playing this game of like, here's how much I think I owe. And then we submit it to the government. The government's like, nope, that's wrong.

And now you're in trouble. Norm, you, here's who you are right now. Who am I? You are the 18 year old who's like, huh, pretty weird that I can. go off to war, but I can't buy a beer in this country. And it's like, yeah, okay, you're not wrong, but this point has been made before. So if the point's been made once, we should never make it again, huh? That is not what I'm saying.

This point has been made a thousand times. Okay. Well, someone ought to do something about it. Oh, God. So, who was Samuel Adams? Was he a founding father, a brewmaster, the former, governor of Massachusetts, he was none of those things, because we aren't talking about that Samuel Adams.

Unfortunately, we don't know too much about our Samuel Adams. He was born in Providence, Rhode Island in 1811, and as a kid, he apprenticed with a printer, and he learned the ins and outs of the trade. You know, back in old-timey times, that was basically how people figured out their career. You know, and if that's how things work today, Kristen, I would be the most coveted cook in the Dairy Queen franchise. You were a very passionate Dairy Queen chef, okay? Well, thank you. That is the proper term.

I was a chef at Dairy King. You did eat up a lot of the profits. You did give free food to your friends, which I'm hoping there's no statute of limitations in the Dairy Queen bylaws about that. And I hope you will be arrested any minute for all the cheeseburgers. You want me to get in trouble? You're my wife. You should say you hope there is a statute of limitations. I'll do a go-fund me.

I'll be like, oh my gosh, everyone, Norm's in prison. Please help. And you'll just stay in prison. People will donate because everybody loves Normy C. And weirdly, my face will be just a lot tighter all of a sudden. Wow. Yeah, my boobs, perkier somehow. And I'll just say that it's because of the supplements I've been taking.

And you have a big old donk. They say the BBLs are. out now. They're out now. That's what they say. They say it's for millennials only. Oh, you are millennials. I know.

You need to get one, apparently. Yep, I'm on death row for stealing food from dairy queen. So I need the go fund me. I need a good lawyer to get me off at death row. Oh, the irony, what if your last meal, and I'm sorry, and then we'll get to the story, but what if your last meal you requested dairy queen? I mean, I would. It's poetic.

Would dairy queen be queenly enough? gracious enough to say, you know what, we'll be the bigger person. We'll give him some dairy queen. Yeah, give me a double flamethrower. Oh, you seem entitled now. Prize. Uh-huh. A Recy Peecy Blizzard.

Okay, we're stumbling across another word that you say incorrectly. It actually it's two words. You call them Reese's Peece's. Recy, yeah. That is, no, Reese's Pieces. I know it's Risa's pieces, but I say Risi Peecy. I bet you just wish you could lay on your fatone and eat a bunch of wreathy pieces all day. All day and night.

That's the dream right there. Okay, can we get back to our story? I suppose. So, we don't know too much about this, Samuel Adams. But he became a journeyman printer, Kristen. He hopped around and worked for various print shops. And in the 1830s, he made his way to the big city. New York City, baby, where even the rats can get a good meal.

And there he found success in life and work. He married a woman named Emmeline. And then, with a business partner, Adams opened his own printing business. It was called Scatchard and Adams. And it was right downtown. Scatchard and Adams earned a reputation for doing quality work at a good price. And they printed up whatever your heart desired. Custom invoices, theater programs, lottery tickets, pamphlets.

You could even get a giant banner that said, Eat My Entire Ass if you wanted. Scatchard and Adams could make your printing dreams come true. But they were mostly known for printing up books. They made quite a few popular ones at the time, including one of my favorites, Kristen, Alexis de Tocqueville's incredible book, Democracy in America. That sounds really boring. It's not, it is a great book.

It was written by a Frenchman who toured the United States for years, and he wanted to understand this newfangled thing called democracy. It really paints an incredible picture of what they're. the United States was like in the 19th century. I'm telling you, Kristen, it's not written like an old-timey book. It's very good. Oh, gosh, that sounds so fascinating. I'll have to check that out.

You know, I got to tell you. We've gotten some comments on Spotify. Are they all good? They are saying that you're dragging me down. What? Oh, no. And that they are actually very interested in the panic of 1819, and they would love to hear more about it. Norm, we've all heard a lot of catfishing schemes.

Are you trying to catfish the? the audience by going in with fake accounts being like, actually, Norman, we want more context on everything. No, I don't do that. Okay. I don't do that stuff no more. No, I've never done that. But yeah, Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville, highly recommend you check it out.

It's a good book. Anyway, business was good for Scatchard and Adams, but sadly, Kristen, it wouldn't last. A few years after opening the business, Samuel Adams' business partner, Scatchard, passed away. Scatchard was much older than Samuel Adams. He'd kind of been his mentor. He really took the reins of the business. And when he died, Samuel Adams kind of struggled to run everything by himself. Well, printing up and Eat My Ass banner is kind of a two-man job, don't we agree?

Takes a lot of work. Uh-huh. Kind of like eating ass. Okay. Then an accidental fire almost destroyed the entire business. And fire spreads really fast in a room full of paper, Kristen. Okay, I was thinking of that. I was like, woof, all those books.

Yeah, quick, get that big tub of oil. Throw it on the fire. Oh, and also the panic of 1837 caused a decline in business. Not interesting. Don't worry, Kristen, for your sake, I will not provide any context whatsoever on that event. Our listeners will just have to figure it out for themselves. They're going to come for me so hard. They're going to be like, leave that boy alone.

Excellent. Also, Samuel Adams' customers weren't paying their bills. Oh. Samuel Adams fell behind on mortgage payments. Sometimes he couldn't even pay his own employees. Creditors started hounding him, threatening lawsuits. And by 1841, Samuel Adams was in debt for around $5,000. Just for inflation, that's about $200,000 today.

Oh, that is scary. It's about your average grocery bill. Huh, her, huh. Hey, hey. See, we're a political podcast. Well, once again, you're really coming out with these opinions that no one's heard before. You're right. The groceries are too expensive.

Groceries are expensive and our tax system sucks. Uh-huh. Yeah. So I'm not bringing anything original to the table. Any other hot takes you want to have? Let's see. Oh, I'm everyone, prepare to be offended. I can just tell he's working up something good.

No, I, no. Oh, he's, yeah, he's spent a lot of time. in some weird internet communities. It's all rubbing off on him. Uh-huh. Nope. He's starting to think that there's a problem with these females. These females sure are rowdy these days.

That's just my opinion, though. Anyway, I'm going to save myself. Hang on. What? You don't need to save yourself from that. From saying females are rowdy? I think a lot of females would agree. Or they'd say, no, we're not.

in a really rowdy way. And then, you know, you win either way, Norm. Mm-hmm. So Samuel Adams was in debt. And all that debt, along with the pressure of running a business, it put him on the edge. He was always known as a, quote, remarkably mild, inoffensive man. But now Samuel Adams was beginning to take a belligerent tone with customers who were not paying their damn bills. Okay, well, that seems warranted. For example, one customer, Kristen, he was a merchant. He contracted Samuel Adams to print up about $1,500 worth of stuff, adjust for inflation. It's like $55,000 worth of business. Yeah.

That's a lot of money. And Samuel Adams set up a monthly payment plan for the merchant, but the merchant fell behind on payments. And after all the printing was said and done, he owed Samuel Adams about $110, just for inflation, $4,000. Okay. And, you know, that merchant knew he had not paid his bill. And he really liked and respected Samuel Adams. So he stopped by a shop to talk things over and hopefully work out some sort of extension or something.

Well, in this guy's defense, when you said he was coming up short, I was expecting the number to be much bigger than just 100. But this is just one of many customers. No, I understand. I understand the pressures. And that adds up, you know? Yeah, I get it. To the merchant's surprise, the mild-mannered Samuel Adams went absolutely ballistic on him. He yelled and screamed.

He accused the merchant of trying to cheat him out of money. And the merchant was like, whoa, whoa, chill. Look, I don't have the money right now. I'm sorry, but maybe we can work something else out. Here, take my pocket watch. It's real gold. It's got to be worth something. So the merchant handed Samuel Adams a gold pocket watch.

On the back, it featured an engraving of the U.S. Capitol building. Samuel Adams looked it over and said, okay, fine, I'll knock $85 off your bill. So that bought the merchant some time. But you know, Samuel Adams, he can't just barter all of his outstanding invoices. He needs cash. Creditors weren't going to accept pocket watches or magic beans as payment. And so in the summer of 1841, when John Colt showed up at Samuel Adams' shop with business, Adams felt relieved. He knew about John Colt.

John was an established author. He was a known name in the book industry. The chances of him paying his bills seemed pretty good. Yeah. And John needed a lot of books printed up. Samuel Adams was confident a good amount of cash was coming his way. Oh, this is sad. I haven't even gotten to the sad part.

Well, and I'm not jumping ahead to that yet, but just like this guy who owns a small business and he's feeling hopeful. Because, yeah, this guy does have the number one accounting book. Number one, baby. But he doesn't know that he's, Reese's book club has nothing to do with this. This is a Jenna's pick all along. Or is it Recy's book club? Yeah, you weirdo. But no, he doesn't know that he tried to be a party planner in New Orleans.

In New Orleans was like, no thanks, we've got that covered. He doesn't know about all these failed attempts. The Marines. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah. This poor guy, he's so hopeful right now. Yeah, it's like he doesn't know the real John Colt.

Right. So we'll see what happens. He knows the facade. Mm-hmm. Or the facade. As you might say. I might say faqad. That's for real.

You know me too well. We really are married. I would say faqad. We're not just married for this show. We're married in real life. Jesus. It's okay, Norm. I couldn't figure out how to use Google on a recent...

Oh, thank God that was a bonus episode. Okay, you have to pay to watch me not know how to use Google. Kristen's stupidity is behind a paywall. Yeah. Look out. Watch me ma'aw. I'll try to use the internet. So, John Colt, Samuel Adams, they worked out a deal.

John was very excited to finally print the ninth edition of his book, The Science of Double Entry Bookkeeping. But this time around, he was going to do two versions, Kristen. No, why? There's the larger teachers and clerks edition, and then the smaller school edition. Oh, okay. For the kiddos. Okay.

I was really prepared to pounce on that idea for being incredibly stupid. I thought maybe this one has more pictures. or something. But no, these are actually different versions that could be useful. Actually, a very normal thing to do. John was eager to get them made as fast as possible because there were trade shows coming up in New York and Philadelphia. And as a self-published author, those shows were how John Colt made most of his money. So at these shows, dealers could buy large quantities of books at a discounted rate. So for John, it's an easy way to offload inventory and make a big chunk of change.

Yeah. John needed the money. Who knows, maybe he could save up enough to move himself and his pregnant girlfriend, Caroline Henshaw, out of their boarding house, located at... Oh, oh, I know how to use Google now. I learned it on a recent bonus episode. Just kidding. No. It's not there anymore.

You jerk. I was about to show off my new internet skills. It was located at 42 Monroe Street, which, yeah, it's like a big apartment building now or something. Well, is it the same big old apartment building? Well, no, this was a boarding house. This was like a literal house. Gotcha. Man.

I wonder what New York City looked like in 1841. We have no way of knowing. We don't. Literally no way of knowing. We'll never know. Because we don't know how to use Google. We just don't have any idea. We're a Bing household.

Hey, don't knock Bing. Bing's pretty good. I was endorsing it. I'm trying to get a sponsorship, Norm. I'm still using Ask Jeeves. Sure. That's my preferred search engine. Well, it's very good.

It's very good. You got a cocaine problem, Norm? I've got a booger problem. Ew. Folks, you're not going to believe this, but if you go to our Patreon, you can get video versions of these episodes. And if you think that Norm stepped out of the studio to blow his nose, he absolutely did not. Instead, he turned shamefaced away from the camera. And that's what you get.

For paying for episode. Let's see if Joe has the courage to keep that in. Yeah. Let's see if he's a brave boy. Joe, are you brave enough to not censor Norm's boogers? That's disgusting. I can't believe I just said that. Okay, so John Colt is going to go to these trade shows.

Got a lot of bucks to sell. But that printing turnaround, that's a tight deadline, okay? Samuel Adams did not promise anything. But John was confident that he would get it done. because Adams had a good reputation and his prices were fair. But Sam had to know whether it was feasible to get that done in time. Yeah, he did. Okay.

And he said, I probably can't do it or what? Samuel Adams said, yeah, we can probably make this happen. All right. Yeah. But, you know, things happen. This is old-timey printing, Kristen. These machines weren't exactly, you know, top tier. Okay.

All right. So with the printing contract signed, John now needed office space. He could not conduct business at a boarding house. He needed to meet clients, store his books, and have some peace and quiet. So John visited an old acquaintance who might be able to help. He was an accountant named Asa Wheeler. Asa Wheeler had been doing accounting his whole life, even as a child for his father's business. He had earned a reputation as one of the finest accountants in New York City, and he even offered private classes to students. Why are you laughing? I don't know. I just, I realize that the term, he was one of the finest accountants. That used to be a thing. The finest such and such. The finest people don't really say that anymore, right? Like, people don't call us the finest podcasters, even though we clearly are. Folks, next time you leave a review for us, please call us the finest podcast on the internet. I mean, it sounds passive aggressive these days. But back in the day, that was quite the compliment.

It was. Wheeler's reputation was so good, Kristen, that John Colt had actually come to him three years earlier in 1838 when he first published his book because he wanted a testimonial from one of the best bookkeepers to help drive sales. The finest. Asa looked over the book and thought, that was pretty good. So he agreed to write a testimonial. Would you like to hear it, Kristen? Yes, I would. Asa Wheeler's testimonial read, I would recommend this work to gain knowledge of the principles. of bookkeeping and as a book of reference for the experienced. Woo, man, try not to make it so sexy, okay? I mean, calm down with that.

Oh, you have such a way with words, Asa. Written like a true accountant. With a recommendation like that, how could you not buy that book, Kristen? Well, now in the summer of 1841, John Colt was calling on Aza Wheeler for a favor once again, but this time he needed office space. Luckily for John, Wheeler did have a room available. Aza Wheeler worked out of a four-story building on the corner of Broadway and Chambers Street in the heart of the financial district and it was called the granite building. The granite building was home to a variety of businesses.

There were accountants, painters, photographers, sculptors, picture frame makers, pharmacists, and even a phrenologist. What's that? Those are those old-timey whackadoodles who would analyze your head and be like, oh, you're really smart because you have an indenture in your skull. all. Oh. That means you're a genius. Oh. It's all bullshit.

Were these the racist ones? Okay. Yeah. Huh. So in that building, which is no longer there. Wait, we should probably explain more than they were racist. This was like the science in quotation marks. It was like, well, as you can see, the white man's brain is a lot bigger than the black

man's brain. So there we go. We get to do whatever. There we go. I summed it up. Well, it wasn't specifically his brain's bigger. It's the shape of his head. head is this way and therefore that means he's not as intelligent as the white man.

I wish I had my white man plays guitar sound. You know, Norm, you explain that to me like a true white man. You really showed off your superior. You don't get to throw that in me. I can tell by the shape of your head that you know what you're talking about. I can tell by the shape of your head. Uh-oh. You better stop back there.

You can eat my ass. All right. Put that on a banner or I won't do it. If you walked into the bedroom and there's a banner hanging, just said, eat my ass. I mean, first I would laugh. And I was bent over the bed. First I would laugh, and then I'd be like, how much did you pay to have this done?

$250. Well, worth it. Back to our story, Aisa Wheeler rented two rooms out of the granite building, okay? They were right next to each other on the second floor, and they shared a door between them. Asa Wheeler used one as his office, and the other he used as like a private study and storage room. You know. I get it. So John Colt was like, hey, buddy, you think I could rent out that extra room?

It's the perfect location for my business, and I can meet clients right in the heart of the financial district. And it's only temporary. I just need it for six weeks while my books are printed up. Asa Wheeler said, sure. He offered the room to John for six weeks at a cost of $15. $10. Adjusted for inflation, $600. Okay. Deal. John Colt moved in right away, and he busied himself with his work.

Well, six weeks later, John's time was up. Aisa Wheeler was anxious to get that extra room back because he had another guy that wanted to rent it out. Sure. But John didn't really seem ready to move out. His office was described as a dreary place. Dreary? Yeah. Dreary?

Yeah. I feel like I'm saying that word wrong. You've lost confidence. The Drury Inn, the Drerian. His office was described as a dreary place. It was uncarpeted with a few wooden chairs and a table. John also had a big wooden box for shipping books. It measured three feet long, two feet high, two feet wide.

We've heard about this box before. John proudly boasted that he built the box himself. Using a combination hatchet hammer he kept on his desk. By the appearance of his office, John Colt didn't seem to be in a hurry to move out. And that became very apparent when he asked Asa Wheeler if he could stay longer. Just another week. But Asa Wheeler hadn't even gotten his rent payment yet. Oh. And when he inquired about it, John Colt apparently exploded with temper. Asa Wheeler was taken aback by the reaction. No kidding. You got a lot of nerve, dude. You didn't pay for anything. And you're asking for more

when you haven't even paid for the first thing. Yeah. And now you got a poopy butt attitude? Get out of here. Mm-hmm. Take your stupid box with you. Real poopy butt, that's for sure. Aza Wheeler was taken aback by the reaction. He immediately dropped the issue because, quote, it was not worth getting wrathy about. Oh, Asa. John later reconciled with Wheeler by offering him several copies of his book.

Oh, my God. I hate this guy so much. Asa Wheeler graciously accepted it, saying it put them on familiar terms again. Is Asa a saint, or does Asa, know he's dealing with a very unstable weirdo dude who might put him in that homemade box if he's not careful. I think he's a non-threatening boy. Okay.

Asa Wheeler's a non-threatening boy, for sure. Behind Asa Wheeler is a wife who's like, you did what now? You accepted 14 copies of this stupid book instead of the money we need? What the hell are we going to do with these books? We need money. Then she cracks it open? Well, you know what? I'm learning a lot.

You know what? I think I'm going to become a bookkeeper. What was going on with John Colt? His anger was a surprise to Wheeler. Apparently he had gotten testy with other visitors, too. One time a credit collector showed up at John's office, and John could be heard cursing the man out and threatening to throw him out the window. Good grief. Turns out, John Colt was having money problems.

You're kidding. You're not going to believe that. Did he offer the creditor a couple copies of his book? He just brings the book everywhere as payment. Yeah. Goes to a restaurant. Tip for the waiter. Here's the book.

Can you imagine if we had a bill due and we were like, here's what we're going to do for you? We're going to tell you a random history story and we'll chit chat and you just have to sit there for about an hour and a half or so. And that's our gift to you. We will be giving this to you in lieu of a mortgage payment and I think you'll be thrilled. Actually, the way Dushier Worse offering would be

signed card and stickers Norm our autographs are worth so much Like so much So much So much money That's why you have to pay

Like $7 $7 We are cheap hoes Let me tell you So yeah John Colts He's having money Problems

Kristen obviously But John was very angry about it because he felt like it wasn't his fault. The source of the problem in his mind was his printer, Samuel Adams. How? I'll tell you how. Okay. Apparently, the ninth edition of the Science of Double Entry Bookkeeping had experienced some production delays. As a result, John wasn't able to fulfill as many orders as he wanted at the New York Trade Show. And John was pretty pissed about it. This is how he made his money. Adams knew that too. But John Colt felt like Samuel Adams had no sense of urgency about his situation.

The two men also argued about money, specifically about how much money John owed for the printing. Samuel Adams claimed John had an outstanding bill of $70. John disagreed. He said, no, I owe you more like $55. Keep in mind, this is a $15 discrepancy. But just for inflation, $600. Okay. I mean, that's pretty big.

But, you know, it was really the principle of it all. John Colt was like, dude, I'm an expert on accounting. I know what I owe you, buddy. Okay, but you're also a bullshitter who's really bad with money. That's true. So you probably do know the exact amount and you're lying about it. But Samuel Adams was adamant. Hey.

He had been burned by. other customers way too much. He thought John was trying to cheat him, just like other customers. And in this situation, Kristen, Samuel Adams had very strong leverage. Because he had in his possession the stereotype plates for John's book, aka the master prints. So if John ever wanted to easily print his book again, he's going to need those plates. Yeah. And Samuel Adams could threaten to withhold them if John failed to pay his bill. Shit. Despite their disagreements,

John Colt had to press on. On September 6, 1841, he attended another trade show in Philadelphia, and he did pretty well. He secured 400 orders for his book, and he had two weeks to get them sent out. But by Thursday, September 16th, 10 days later,

he had not heard anything from Samuel Adams. John needed those books to get paid, so he decided, all right, tomorrow morning, I'm going to visit the bookbinder to check on my books. That day would not go as planned. Friday, September 17th, 1841. In the morning, John Colt stopped by the bookbinding shop of Charles Wells. Charles Wells was the official bookbinder for Samuel Adams. John asked about his 400 books. Were they ready? I need them like now. Charles Wells had good news. They were just about ready, and John would have them in time to fulfill his orders.

Charles Wells then asked, by the way, you still owe Samuel Adams money. What's the deal with that? John replied, we'll work something out. Besides, I can't do anything until I get the proceeds from the Philadelphia trade show. Once I get that money, I'll deal with it. And with that, John left and he headed to his office

in the granite building. Meanwhile, across town. Oh my God. I couldn't help but wonder. Samuel Adams was finishing up lunch with his lovely wife, Emmeline. Adams was looking good that day, Kristen. He had on his best business attire, a white cotton shirt, black coat and vest, an old-timey neck band. You know the ones that kind of look like a cute bow?

No, like a bow tie, you mean? Not a bow tie. It looks like a bow. If you type in like 19th century neck band, you'll see it. And you'll be like, oh yeah, I've seen those before. Oh, yes, a very distinguished look. Okay, when you said neckband, I was picturing like a really thin little ribbon, and I was like, this does not sound good. But picture a gentleman on a cold day, and he's got, basically, it looks like a scarf wrapped around him and then tucked into the old blazer.

Oh, yeah. In Adam's vest pocket, he had his new gold pocket watch. He had received his payment. The one with the Capitol building engraved on the back? We remember. Turned out as a pretty nice watch. And as that watch read noon, Samuel Adams kissed his wife goodbye and left to start his day. Emmeline wasn't sure where he was going.

Samuel Adams went to many places to conduct business. But his first stop that day was his office. A customer picked up a batch of documents. Adams looked over some proofs for a local newspaper. And then he left to make a delivery. At around 2.15 p.m., Samuel Adams stopped by Charles Wells Bookbinding Shop. The two made small talk when Charles Wells mentioned, Oh, by the way, your pal, John Colt stopped by earlier today,

and he was very anxious to get the books off to Philadelphia as soon as possible. Samuel Adams replied, Go ahead and ship them. I am to get the proceeds anyway. Charles Wells looked puzzled, and he remarked, well, there must be a misunderstanding between you, John Colt expects to receive the proceeds. Adam's demeanor immediately changed. He looked annoyed and angry.

If this was a misunderstanding, it was a major one, because Kristen, it had to do with copyright. Samuel Adams believed that as the printer, he owned the copyright to the ninth edition of John Colt's book. Therefore, proceeds from sales should go through him first. But John Colt felt the opposite. He thought he owned the copyright and proceeds should be coming to him first. The details are kind of murky.

I really had to dig this fact up deep within the bowels of witness testimony. Uh-huh. Many sources claimed that John Colt and Sam... I hope you wore gloves. What was that, Kristen? You say, I hope I wore gloves. Is that what you said? Yeah, because you were deep in the boughs.

I'm sorry. It was a gross joke. I regret it. It was a good joke. I just want to make sure people heard it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It'd be a shame if anyone missed my poop jokes because you know there won't be another one coming. Right. A shame of that joke was lost it. It's true.

Okay. This is a perfect example of when I say something that I think is kind of funny and I'm proud of myself and then you just follow up with something way funnier. You did this to me the other day. We might cut this because this is a ridiculous thing to share. I don't even know what you're talking about. One evening, we were sitting around, we're re-watching Mad Men, we're just hanging out, and you went and got an uncrustable from the freezer. I did. And, you know, you're supposed to wait for those to thaw. Norm and I are both the types.

You know, I tend to stick one on my tummy to help with the heating process. Norm puts it between his legs. A lot of heat coming between my legs. A lot of heat coming off that broiler. Sorry that's gross, but that's where all the body heat is for me for some reason. And so when it was time to go to bed, I was like, did you get enough to eat tonight? Because you had a small dinner and you were like, yeah, I had that incrustable. And I was like, oh, that's right.

I forgot you had a snack out of your crotch, which I thought was kind of funny. And then you said, yeah, I ate an uncrochable. That's right. Folks, is that not good? That's pretty good. That's going to win me last comic standing for sure. So. Yeah, good luck segueing from uncroth.

I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. Okay. Back to the story. So that whole issue with copyright, you know, I had to dick. I had to dig, not dick. I had to dick that fact up.

I had to really search for that. Mm-hmm. So when I was reading about this story, a lot of sources claim that John Colt and Samuel Adams, their whole feud was over that measly $15. And that just did not vibe with me. No. I was just like, no one. gets that upset over $15, even old-timey $15.

It's possible that it could happen that way, but it just seems obvious that there was a lot more at stake here. There was. So that copyright problem, that makes way more sense to me, given what happened. Yeah. Well, Samuel Adams was fuming. And so he said, I will go see Colt, and he quickly left. Shortly before 3 p.m., a friend of Samuel Adams noticed him quickly making his way to the granite building on the corner of Broadway and

Chamber Street. Adams looked like a man on a mission. The friend didn't even have time to give a friendly hello. He said, I turned and looked after him, and he kept on. That would be the last time anyone besides John Colt would see Samuel Adams alive. At around 3 p.m., Aisa Wheeler opened the windows to his office for some fresh air and welcomed a student for that hour. As the lesson got underway, Wheeler heard someone enter the building, walk up the stairs, and step into John Colt's office. Fifteen minutes later, Wheeler and his student heard strange noises. It was kind of hard to make out. The noise from the open windows really drowned out the sound quite a bit. But it was definitely abnormal. Wheeler described it as the clashing of foils, as if people were fencing,

followed by a violent fall on the floor. The student immediately turned to his teacher. What was that? he asked. Wheeler replied, I have no idea. Curious, Wheeler walked up to the door that separated his office from Colt's office, and he put his ear up to it. Silence. Wheeler then knelt down to peek through the keyhole,

but the view was blocked. John Colt had dropped the keyhole cover on his side of the door. Side note, I was curious what the purpose of a keyhole cover was. So people can't peep on you, right? Yeah, that was one reason. Yeah. It was also for insulation,

like to keep cold drafts from coming in. And it was just a fancy look. Well, John Colt was using his for privacy. But Aza Wheeler had an idea. He took his pen, he put it in the keyhole, and he slowly moved the cover aside. You sneaky devil.

Mm-hmm. And then he peaked again. What he saw wasn't super clear. But Wheeler could make out, quote, with his coat off, bent over a person who was lying on the floor. After several minutes, the bent over man stood up and walked toward the table. Wheeler was concerned that something bad had happened, and he wasn't about to just knock on the door. You know, John Colt went off on him the last time when he

tried to collect rent. Right. Who knows what he would do next. So Asa Wheeler ran up to the top floor of the granite building, and he knocked on the door of the landlord, Charles Wood. But Charles Wood was not there. As Asa Wheeler walked back down the stairs, he ran into the building's maintenance guy. Law Octon. Octon was an older black man who also lived in the building. Wheeler asked Octon, hey, something weird is going on in John Colt's office. Would you mind taking a look? Oh, wow, that's nice.

I don't want to interrupt. This guy's really dangerous, but hey, hey, hey, buddy, want to help me out? I don't worry, I've got your back, and by that I mean I'm going to be in my office with the door locked. No, Wheeler was going to be there, don't worry. It is, but yeah, he wanted to get this guy involved. Law Oxton was on his way back to his apartment, but he reluctantly agreed to look. Like Aza Wheeler, Octon peaked into the keyhole. It was quiet.

After a few minutes, Octon was like, sorry, I don't see anything, and he went back to his apartment. Well, peaking was not working. Asa Wheeler wanted to know who was inside John Colt's office. So he came up with another idea. He tiptoed down to the first floor, and then he started stomping up the stairs. Uh-huh.

He was hoping to, quote, make Colt think he had a caller and opened the door. Asa Wheeler knocked, but no one answered. A little after 4 p.m., Asa Wheeler's next student, John Delness, arrived. John Delness was 26 years old, and coincidentally, he was the man who wanted to rent Wheeler's extra room after John Colt left. Uh-huh. Asa Wheeler quietly explained the situation to Delness.

He was like, I think something bad happened in John Colt's office, and he's hiding in there. Delness laughed. He was like, what? No. Oh, God. But Asa Wheeler insisted, go get a police officer. We will stay here and watch the door. Okay, there we go.

So John Delnis left the building, and he found a police officer nearby who promised to come by in like 30 minutes. By the way, shout out to law for being the smartest dude in this whole story. Law Oxton? Yeah. Who was like, I got stuff to do. No, no, no. No, he's being smart. Yeah.

He's being smart. In what way just by not being involved? He's a black man in this time. Older black man, yeah. He's smart enough to know I didn't see anything and get himself away from this situation as quickly as possible. That's true. I also imagined him as Danny Glover being like, I'm getting too old for this shit. What's that from?

Lethal weapon. Oh, okay. You know I don't watch movies. I've played that sound bite before, I think. Yeah, you're right. Law Austin. Smart guy. But also, shout out to Asa, who is doing the right thing here.

He's trying to figure out what the hell's going on in there. And no shout out. to that police officer who's just busy eating uncrotchables by the fistful can't be bothered to come, you know, check on this murder that definitely just happened. You're right, Kristen, because, you know, he promised to come by in 30 minutes, but he just never showed up. So it's possible he thought the whole story was far-fetched, but the more likely reason was police during this time were notoriously unreliable. They just sucked booty cheeks. We're talking a lot about ass in this episode. I know.

This is the ass episode. We might be pushing the limit on it, really. Have we hit our ass limit? I don't know. Okay. Well, at that point, all Aisa Wheeler could do was keep teaching his students and kind of nervously watch the door. Yeah. Later, they tried again to find another police officer.

And this is before telephones, right? Yeah, this is 1841. Yep. Yep. But on their second attempt, the officer told them, I have no authority to go into John Colts office. It was now 9 p.m. Aisa Wheeler was getting tired. John Delness worked away watching the door. Finally, Wheeler was like, look, I got to go home. I'm tired. Delness was like, I'm going to keep working. I'll stick around. I'll watch the door.

A short time later, John Delness was startled by a noise. He said he, quote, heard someone unlock Mr. Colt's door from the inside, come out, lock the door again, and go away. Meanwhile, at the nearby city hotel, John's brother, Samuel Colt, was drinking with a couple of potential investors. They were badly needed. Samuel's company, Colt's patent firearms manufacturing company, was on the verge of collapse. Money was running out. as the men drank, smoked, and cracked jokes, they were interrupted by John Colt. He looked nervous, disheveled.

I need to talk to you, John said. Samuel replied, not now. I'm kind of having an important conversation here. Samuel then gave John his room key. Wait for me upstairs. I'll join you in a few minutes. But when Samuel Colt went up to his room a little later, John was nowhere to be found.

Back at the Granite Building. John Delness heard someone enter the building. They made their way up the stairs and into John Colt's office. Delness then heard someone tearing something like a cotton cloth, followed by sloshing water, followed by scrubbing sounds on the floor. This repeated for several minutes. And then, complete silence. John Delness, laying and watching from a bench in Asa Wheeler's office,

eventually dozed off to sleep. Meanwhile I'm getting flashbacks to the murder episode on sex in the city It was controversial Meanwhile at the boarding house on 42 Monroe Street It was a little after 11 p.m. The pregnant Caroline Henshaw was sleeping in bed When all of a sudden she was awakened by a noise

It was John He stood at the foot of the bed slipping on a night shirt Caroline yawned and rubbed her eyes What time is it A little after 11 p.m. replied John. Why are you home so late? She asked.

John replied, I was with a friend from Philadelphia. He leaves by boat tomorrow morning. Oh, and also I murdered somebody. Shh. I shouldn't have said that last part out loud. Now I've got to do it all over again. Oh, crap.

I really shouldn't have said that last part. Caroline nodded and dozed off again. Saturday, September 18th, 1841. At around 5.30 a.m., Caroline Henshaw woke up again. It was dark outside. John was standing, fully dressed, getting ready to leave. Where are you going so early? Caroline asked. To the boat, to see my friend off.

I might be back soon or I might not. Then John left. Caroline figured he would be back in time for breakfast, but John never showed up. Back at the granite building. I hope you're all dancing to this. I mean, you really should be. At around 6 a.m., young accountant John Delness, snoozing on Asa Wheeler's bench, was awakened by, quote,

the sound of someone nailing a wooden box, which sounded as if it was full. John Delness decided not to do anything and just wait for Aisa Wheeler to arrive. That's smart. Two hours later, at around 8 a.m., maintenance man Law Oxton walked into the building after running a morning errand.

Yeah, I bet he had a lot of duties that day that took him out of the building, far, far away from the building, nowhere near the building. I've got a lot of stuff to do today, not in the granite building. as he made his way upstairs, he noticed a large wooden box on the landing of the second floor. Then John Colt appeared,

grabbing the box. He lowered it onto its side, and then he kind of let it slide down the stairs. And John Colt braced it against his shoulder so it wouldn't slide too fast. Must have been full of books, real heavy. Mm-hmm. Law Ockton just stood to the side,

waited for John Colt to come down the stairs, and then he walked upstairs, and he started sweeping the second floor hallway. Kristen, that's very observant of you to be like, this guy is very smart. He is not getting involved in any way. Well, and you would think in any other circumstance, he would feel obligated to help this tenant with the package.

Sure. But, yeah, wisely, he is not touching it. He's like, probably acting like he didn't even see it. He's like, hell no, I'm not being charged with accessory to murder. Or worse. Or worse. So yeah, he's sweeping the second floor hallway. And after finishing that, Oxton went back downstairs.

And he saw John again standing in the entryway of the building with the box. The box had blue writing on the side of it. It was addressed to an RP gross of St. Louis, Missouri by way of New Orleans. John was peeking out the door, looking up and down the street. Like a totally normal, not paranoid guy. Law-Octon assumed he was trying to find a cart man. This was a guy with a horse-drawn cart who was paid to transport goods. Okay.

At around 8.45 a.m., John found one. It was 34-year-old Richard Barstow. He was slowly driving his cart east on Chambers Street, looking for business as rain began drizzling down. John Colt waved him down. Richard Barstow noted that John kind of stood out because he was wearing short-sleeve and no hat, which was definitely out of the ordinary back then. Yeah. Barstow pulled over.

John asked, are you busy? Barstow replied, not particularly, why? I need this crate delivered to a ship docked at the Maiden Lane Wharf, said John. Richard Barstow was heading that way, so he was like, sure, I'll take it. He hopped down off his cart and followed John into the granite building, where the box waited. It was a big box. It felt heavy. Barstow estimated it weighed

from 150 to 200 pounds He would not be able to lift it by himself So he whistled down another nearby cartman To help him out John Colt watched in silence As the two men loaded the box Under Barstow's cart Barstow noted the box was heading to

New Orleans first What ship should I carry this to? He asked John replied I don't... Whatever, it doesn't matter I just need to be away from me Yeah, just put on any ship No John replied I don't know the name

of the vessel, but I'll follow you there and pointed out to you. Richard Barstow hopped on his cart. He said, giddy up. And the horse slowly pulled the cart toward Maiden Lane Wharf. John followed closely behind, holding a cute little green umbrella to keep the rain off of him. When they arrived at the wharf, Barstow stopped his cart in front of a ship heading for New Orleans. It was the 789-ton vessel called the Kalamazoo. Barstow pointed. Is that the one? John just nodded. I think you're right that he just didn't give a shit what ship it went on. Of course he didn't.

He just wanted to make sure that this thing got on a ship and away from him. And by this thing, I'm sorry, I mean, this man he murdered. Yes. Well, we actually don't know if John Colt murdered him. I know it. You are very insightful and smart. I use Google all the time with almost no problems. Richard Barstow then put his thang down, flipped it, and reversed it.

Oh, my God, there's no need for that. Okay, okay. He reversed the cart toward the ship. He dragged the heavy crate off. He dropped it to the ground. The same as I would a box of sugar, he said. Yeah, which he also delivers completely naked from the waist down. Absolutely. John Colt reached into his pocket and pulled out two shillings and six pence. Now, when I first read that, I was like,

weren't we using dollars back then? Two shillings in six pence. But actually back in the 1840s, Kristen, our currency was really fudged up. It was very localized. So New York City had like its own money system. Norm, I hate where I think this is going. Where's it going? I am afraid you are going to say,

what if we do a series on the different currencies available all over the United States? You want to do future topic? No, no, I don't. Don't I want, what's a, we need a term for no topic. Well, that's no, God, no, please no. Yeah, there we go. I don't have the one right, but I can do this. Bye.

Yeah. We'll say bye to that topic. Okay. Although, yes, that is mildly interesting. Well, I figured out that two shillings in six pence was like 30 cents. Adjust for inflation, $12. Okay. So John Colt was giving the cartman $12.

Richard Barstow was pretty disappointed by that because he was hoping to get like 36 cents or like $15. Okay. But apparently the look on John Colt's face made Richard Barstow think that, quote, haggling would be more trouble than it was worth. Barstow thanked him, hopped on his cart and drove away as John Colt stood by his box waiting for the ship's crew to pick it up. Meanwhile, back at the granite building, Charlotte was getting pounded. Sorry. No. Meanwhile, back at the granite building, at around 9.30 a.m., A.a Wheeler arrived at his office.

John Delness filled him in on the latest happenings. He was like, okay, here's the deal. John Colt left this morning, and he was dragging a very large box downstairs, and then he loaded it onto a cart, and then he headed down the street. Aza Wheeler thought, what the fudge is John Colt up to? Time was of the essence. With John Colt away,

maybe Aza Wheeler could peek into his room. Yeah. Aza Wheeler ran up to the fourth floor again to get the landlord, Charles Wood. And this time around, Charles Wood was there. Wheeler explained the situation and asked if they could get into Colt's office using the master key.

Charles Wood didn't really like that idea. That was against three. rules of the building. He stated, it was a very delicate subject to meddle with. Well, sure, but can we make an exception for murder? Yeah, so A.A Wheeler was like, this guy is up to something very bad. We need to go look in his office. Charles Wood finally relented. He gave Aza Wheeler the master key and just said, go check it out yourself. Aza Wheeler galloped down the stairs to the second floor to Colts office door. He pressed his ear to the door just to double check to make sure nobody was in there.

and then his hand shaking, he inserted the key into the lock, he heard a click, and he opened the door. Asa Wheeler looked around. The crate was gone. The floor looked freshly scrubbed, but only in one particular spot, and it was where Wheeler had seen the man bent over someone laying on the ground. The rest of the floor was dirty.

Wheeler also saw strange spots. It looked like, quote, oil and ink spilled around the base of the floor. and thrown its spots on the wall. And that was it. Satisfied Aesel Wheeler shut the door, locked it, returned the key to Charles Wood,

and went back to his office. What do you mean, satisfied? There's really nothing else to see in there. Oh, okay. But he didn't think, like, oh, this guy's just cleaning up the way we all do, just one tiny spot at a time. No, maybe Satisfy was the wrong word there.

Just like, he was done looking at the room. Very good. Okay, I'm with you. 30 minutes later, at around 10 a.m., Asa Wheeler heard a knock on his office door. He opened it. It was John Colt. Wheeler screamed.

Ah! I would. No, he didn't scream. John Colt was like, hey, uh, does your key work in my door? I'm just checking for totally normal reasons. Just curious. Asa Wheeler was puzzled. I'm not sure.

Why? Where's your key? Colt replied, oh, geez, I left my key back at the boarding house. Can I try yours? I'm just trying to get into my eyes. office. Asa Wheeler said, I'm not sure if it'll work, but you can try. Asa Wheeler handed John his key. Colt then tried the lock. It didn't work. So he returned the key to Wheeler, and he was like, yep, you're right. I guess it doesn't work. John then started to make small talk.

He talked about writing and bookkeeping. Wheeler said John was being overly talkative. They usually only exchanged a friendly hello. Wheeler nervously chatted with John until he finally gathered up the courage to ask, Mr. Colt, what was that noise in your room yesterday? John looked puzzled. You must be mistaken. I was out all afternoon. Oh, my God. There most certainly was a noise, said Wheeler. My student and I both heard it, and it quite alarmed us. John, unsure of what to say, awkwardly slunked out and just left. He did not even acknowledge Asa Wheeler. You're looking at me, Kristen.

I am. What's that look? Tell me. I'm frustrated on Asa's behalf because, yeah, he's tried twice now to get the police to show up. They are not interested. But this is not the solution. To interrogate this guy yourself alone to let him know that you know something is up? That's true.

I mean, does he have another box at the ready? If so, you better be terrified. Maybe on some level, he really hopes. There's nothing going on. Maybe he wanted to believe. John Cole didn't murder anybody. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe he just packed up a bunch of books and shipped them off.

Maybe, you know, he made a mess on his floor and he cleaned it up. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I know, I know, based on everything. But, like, maybe there's a small part of him that still doesn't want to believe that. Sure. Hopes that there is a logical explanation. Right. And so he's asking, hey, what was that noise?

please explain the noise to like put me at ease. Right. But if I'm Monday morning quarterbacking this, which is a phrase I understand completely, because I'm about to do like a touchdown of an analogy here, I'm pretty sure. Okay, yeah, I guess you ask about the noise. And when he comes back with obvious bullshit, oh, no, I wasn't even there yesterday. You are so mistaken. then it's your job, A-sa, to be like, oh, yeah, huh, I must have been some noise from the street.

Right, he should play dumb. This is called Staying Alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stay in alive, staying alive. Law has good instincts. Aza does not. Aza does not. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Very good, Kristen. This is why this podcast is climbing the charts. It's for improv like that. The people love it. We're number one in comedy, number one in history. and number one in the hearts of millions

now that is all bullshit how dare you meanwhile across town at the boarding house at 1030 a.m. Caroline Henshaw was in the parlor of the boarding house talking with other residents when she noticed John walk in

and head up to the room Caroline had been wondering why he missed breakfast so she followed him up to the room John got undressed put on a night shirt, washed his neck, and then he got into bed. Caroline was worried. She thought that John might be sick. It was unusual for him to go to bed in the day, she said. Caroline stood by him and noticed a large black and blue mark on the side of his neck.

Caroline pointed to it. What happened there? It looks like a pinch or something. Colt gently pushed her away. Leave me alone. Guess he needed some alone time. Caroline sat in a chair by the window and sewed. Occasionally she glanced over at John, and he just kind of laid there.

He did not appear to sleep much. He seemed restless, she said. John mostly laid in bed for the next two nights. He only got up to eat and applied medicine to his neck bruise. Monday, September 20th, 1841. At around 10.30 a.m. at the granite building, A.A. Wheeler heard John Colt enter his office. To his surprise, John began singing.

He seemed to be in a good mood. Come on in and pull yourself up a chair. Was he like faking it till he makes it? Was he manifesting the life he wanted where he was not a murderer? It's like singing away depression. Depression. Depression. Murder.

I'm not one. I didn't murder anyone. Asa Wheeler just could not help himself. He knocked on John's door. I said no. John sang, Come in! Oh, my God.

Aza Wheeler found John Colt, sitting at his desk, feet propped up, lighting a cigar. Care to join me? asked John. Uh, no thanks, replied Wheeler. That's all right, said John. You know, smoking, it's a really bad habit,

especially for a guy like me who's had tuberculosis before. You know, you'd think I would quit smoking, but it makes my coughing so much worse. I mean, look at these walls. I'm coughing. up blood. Okay.

Cult motion to a spot on the wall where Wheeler noticed 30 or 40 dark specs. Wheeler decided to ask one more time. You know what this is reminding me of? What? And this is another thing we might have to cut. Because I don't know if she's going to be okay with me sharing this story. What's this reminding you of? Well, this thing of, oh, I should really stop smoking because look, I, I, this blood

here on the wall, it's from me coughing, open mouth coughing on to. a wall that we've all done before. Yeah. This is like in early elementary school when my sister and I were on the soccer team and she for some reason thought that there were no restrooms at the place where we played soccer. By the way, there absolutely were. So she peed her pants.

And then later she came up to me and was like, oh my gosh, Kristen, look at my pants. What do you think happened? What is this? I don't know what this is. And I was like, you peed your pants. This can't be explained. This is a mystery. Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries.

It's first grade Kylo with pea pants. A sixth grade girl pees herself on the soccer field. No, no, we don't know what happened. She just has wet shorts. That's the thing. A six-year-old girl has a mysterious wet spot on her shorts. She reeks of urine. We're still not sure what happened.

And they're interviewing Kyla as like a 30-year-old. She still can't explain it. Yeah, I just don't know. To this day, it is a mystery. Lab analysis confirmed it was urine. Get those piss detectives on it, Kristen. You know, the ones from the D.B. Cooper episode. I do know, yeah. That's a really real thing.

Yeah. Luckily, we have, you know, modern technology to analyze. Yeah. Liquids. But back then, you just had to taste it. Uh-huh. Anyway, this is a disgusting episode. Okay.

So, yeah, John Colt's like, oh, I keep coughing up blood. Look at it. I'm coughing on the walls over there. Good grief. So Aza Wheeler, against Kristen's best wishes, decides to ask one more time. Mr. Colt, what was that noise I heard on Friday? John Colt paused, and then he let out a deep sigh. Well, to tell you the truth.

Mr. Wheeler. Oh, here we go. I upset my table, spilled my ink, knocked down my books, made a mess. I thought you weren't even here. I hope it didn't disturb you. Asa Wheeler shrugged it off, but secretly, he wondered why John had completely changed his story. Because, you know, originally John said he wasn't even there. Asa Wheeler wasn't really sure what to do at this point.

He knew John Colt was up to something. Yeah. He was pretty sure he had killed. someone, but he couldn't prove it. The police didn't seem willing to help. For the next few days, the two men just made small talk out in the hallway, but Asa Wheeler read the newspapers every day, looking for a missing person's notice that might confirm his suspicions, and soon he would find one. Wednesday, September 22nd, 1841. That day, Asa Wheeler opened up to page two of the New York Sun, and he read the following notice.

information regarding Mr. Samuel Adams, printer, who left his place of business on Friday, September 17th, about 3 o'clock p.m., will be thankfully received by his relatives and friends at 23 Catherine Street, who are unable to account for his sudden disappearance. From an investigation of his business, there does not appear to be an assignable cause for his absence. The only conjecture is that he has met with some violence. But when or in what manner is still a mystery. Asa Wheeler's stomach sank.

Yeah. Samuel Adams. Aza Wheeler no doubt knew Samuel Adams. In the past, Adams had stopped by the building several times to see John Colt, and now he was missing. Wheeler immediately threw on his coat, and he hurried over to the address listed in the missing persons notice, 23 Catherine Street. The home belonged to Joseph Lane. That was Samuel Adams' father-in-law. Joseph Lane was not home, so Asa Wheeler left a message.

I have important information regarding Samuel Adams. Please come see me at my office in the Granite Building. Meanwhile, across town, bookbinder Charles Wells, was busy filling out paperwork when suddenly John Colt walked in. John was like, oh my gosh, Mr. Wells, did you hear about Samuel Adams? Oh my God. It's very strange. I wonder what could have become of him. In fact, I'm the most curious and the most concerned of all of us.

I think I will go comfort his widow. I mean, his wife, because you know what? He was kind of an irresponsible guy, and he was always talking about just leaving forever and not even dropping a note or a post-it even because, you know, sex in the city. Oh, what's that guy's name? Burger. Burger. We all hate him.

We all hate burger. It's true. So, yeah, John was like, it's very strange. I wonder what could have become of him. Charles thought for a second and then replied, I don't know. The last I saw of him, he said he was going to see you. Oh, shit.

Again, no survival instincts with these dudes. Hey, it's old timey times. It's rough out there. John never acknowledged that observation. He just kept rambling on. I hope nothing's happened to him like being stuffed into a crate. He's a fine man. Always treated me well.

They made further small talk before Colt once again stated, I hope that nothing has happened to Mr. Adams. And then he hurried off into the rain. I sure do miss him. Did you know that we were actually best friends? What do you kidding me? He's my best friend. That's why I killed him, so no one else could be his best friend.

I mean, I'm sure he's fine. Thursday, September 23rd, 1841. More newspapers printed a missing person's notice for Samuel. Adams, including the New York Weekly Tribune and the New York Inquirer. They read in part, Great concern is felt for his fate. His affairs were not embarrassed. He had some money with him and was a man of exemplary, moral, and religious character.

It is hardly possible that he should have gone off voluntarily, if in his right mind. That day, Adam's father-in-law, Joseph Lane, finally met with Asa Wheeler. Wheeler explained everything he had seen and heard. He talked about John Colt's strange behavior, the specks and stains in his office, the mysterious crate. Joseph Lane presented his son-in-law's ledger book. You know, maybe there was a clue inside, something to use against John Colt. Asa Wheeler, who was a very good accountant, poured over the transactions, but he didn't really find like a smoking gun. There was no entry that read, gee, I sure hope John Colt doesn't kill me over this.

Right. In any case, Wheeler and Lane felt like they maybe had enough circumstantial evidence to present something to the authorities. And so they headed across the street to City Hall and they asked to speak to Mayor Robert Hunter Morris right away. Mayor Morris was in his first year on the job, Kristen. It was actually kind of a miracle he even got elected mayor. Let me tell you a little bit about this man. Okay. He was born in a political family.

He went off to law school and eventually became a lawyer. And then he became a New York State Assemblyman. And then he eventually became the deputy mayor of New York City. I'm really excited to get to the part where you're like, here's why it was a miracle he was elected because hearing all this, I'm like, it'd be a miracle if he wasn't elected mayor. Okay. So he's the deputy mayor of New York City.

And then in 1840, Morris got involved in the Glentworth, scandal. So basically, a bunch of Democrats, like Robert Morris, they accused the Whig Party of secretly sending people from Pennsylvania into New York to illegally vote for President William Henry Harrison in the presidential election. Okay. Robert Morris was like, there's something they're not telling us. This is a huge cover-up. So he stole grand jury documents because he thought they were going to be destroyed. Oh, my God. Okay.

Well, the governor of New York, who was in the Whig Party, William Seward, who would later serve as Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of State, he found out what Robert Morris did, and he removed him from office for his actions. But Robert Morris was part of the Tammany Hall political machine. So the following year in 1841, he showed William Seward a giant middle finger, and he was like, I'm going to run for mayor. Yep. And guess what? He won by the very slimest of margins. Okay. So, he's the mayor of New York City now.

Do you think any of those Whig guys wish that they'd brought William Henry Harrison a coat in addition to a couple illyal votes? Hey. I don't need votes. I need a coat. Good presidential humor. Thank you. Thank you. So, yeah, Robert Morris, he really wanted to avoid bad publicity, his first year in office.

You know, maybe he wanted to do some good. So when a couple of dudes showed up at his office. office saying they had information about the disappearance of Samuel Adams, Mayor Morris got personally involved, Kristen. He probably thought, I'm going to be the hero in this story. Yeah. And so, Asa Wheeler and Joseph Lane, they explained everything to Mayor Morris, and he immediately took action. He assigned a police officer to follow John Colt. Oh, wow. He said, make sure the police can do something. They just have to be directed by Tammany Hall. Mayor's got a lot of power, Kristen. He's basically.

basically Batman. Okay. He assigned a police officer to watch John Colt. He was like, make sure he does not leave New York City. And then Mayor Morris went over to the Granite Building because he was like, I'm going to interview witnesses. He was going to build a case. Friday, September 24th, 1841.

That morning, Mayor Morris and several police officers entered the Granite Building. They had enough evidence to make an arrest. They went up to the second floor. They walked toward John Colt's office. And there was a note on the door. Sorry, I stepped out. Be back soon. So they decided to wait for John and they hid in Asa Wheeler's office.

A short time later, John Colt arrived back at the building. As he unlocked his office door, an officer appeared and grabbed him by the arm. They expected John to resist because, quote, he was reputed to carry a revolving pistol in his pocket. He was just a supportive brother. That's right. Now, that's purely because he was Samuel Colt's brother. In reality, John did not carry any weapons on him. And then Mayor Morris appeared and he introduced himself.

John was like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm meeting the mayor of New York City. Does he think he's going to flatter his way out of this? He didn't actually say it. It's just like whenever I see our mayor, I'm like, oh my God, the mayor. You are such a creep about the mayor. I am. I'm sorry. If there's any chance that this gets back to him, don't worry.

Norm is not a creep. He's not to be feared. Listen. He does eat a lot of uncrochables, but they're from his own crotchables. He's not victimizing anybody. I would love to hand our mayor a warmed up uncrochable. Oh my God. Maybe, you know what?

Maybe he should be afraid of you. Mr. Mayor, it's already defrosted. Ready to eat. Don't ask any questions, Mr. Mayor. He waved to me one time, and I'm basically obsessed now. So, actually, Mayor Morris told John, we wish to speak with you in your room. John obeyed. They all walked in, closed the door. Then Mayor Morris stated, Mr. Colt, you are under arrest on suspicion of killing Mr. Adams. John said nothing as the

police searched him for weapons, but he didn't have any. Then they searched John's office, as he looked on in silence. They found his hatchet hammer on his desk under some newspaper, noting a red stain on the hatchet and a similar spot on the hammer. Well, he'd coughed all over it, that's why. Yeah, I'm just coughing. I've got the tubes right now, what do we call it? Big bad case of the tube. Things I'm down the tubes. I threw out my hanky and I've just been coughing into my hatchet hammer. Absorbs quite well. On the handle of the tool were fresh ink stains that appeared to have been put on intentionally to cover up blood. Oh, God. They noted the stains and ink spots on the walls and floors.

One officer scraped particles off and removed a stained section of the floorboard as evidence. And then the entourage headed back across the street to City Hall. And in his office, Mayor Morris got tough. I'll ask the questions here, big guy. It's awful hot under these oil lamps, ain't it, John? So they started questioning him. Where do you reside? asked the mayor. I do not live anywhere, said John Colt.

I sleep in my room in the granite building and get my meals. at the eating houses, which is an old-timey word for restaurant, but they just weren't as fancy as a restaurant. Okay. Eating house is a very fun term. Let's bring it back. I do like eating house. It's kind of like how the Brits just say the toilet.

You know, it's kind of just what you do there. The toilet. Uh-huh. Instead of the bathroom? Instead of bathroom. Yeah. We try to, you know. We used to say toilet over here, too.

I've read it in old-timey newspaper articles. Oh. But yeah. We just have to be unique, I guess. Now we say bathroom. We're very puritanical. Mm-hmm. So, John's like, I don't live anywhere.

I sleep in my office. Were you in your room on the Friday evening last? I don't recollect. It's possible. I know I slept there, answered John. Okay, well, what? Were you engaged in that evening packing and nailing up a box, and did you send such a box away in the morning?

John replied, most assuredly, I saw no box, nor did I send any box away. He's doing too much. I didn't see a box. Nor, and if I did, I would definitely not send it away. Well, that was a lie. And Mayor Morris knew it was a lie because he had interviewed Law Oxton in the Granite building. And Law Oxton was like, oh yeah, I saw that guy and he definitely had a box.

John Colt was now done answering questions. He wanted his lawyer, and that was his cousin. Dudley Selden, who was also a major investor in Samuel Colt's gun company. But while they waited for Dudley to arrive, John was placed in a jail cell at the tombs, aka the halls of justice. Mayor Morris felt he had enough to arrest John Colt, but maybe not enough to keep him under arrest. Dudley Selden would surely see to that. In order to keep John under arrest, investigators needed a body, and they thought they knew where it was.

That evening, Mayor Morris asked the New York Inquirer to print a notice in the paper for the next day. Saturday, September 25th, 1841. In the morning edition of the New York Inquirer, a notice read, The person who early on Saturday morning last took a box from the building on the north corner of Broadway and Chamber Street, or any person who have seen a box taken from said place at that time, will please call immediately at the mayor's office in the city hall. Meanwhile, police officers showed up at the boarding house on 42 Monroe Street, asking to speak with a Mrs. Colt.

And then Caroline Henshaw appeared. She demanded to know what was going on. She had been worried sick all night, wondering where John was. Officers wanted to search their room. Caroline cooperated. She took them up to their room on the third floor where police started searching. There wasn't much. Mostly clothes.

Officers asked where John kept his possessions. Caroline showed them a small locked trunk, and they asked Caroline to open it. She refused. Officers took the trunk and escorted Caroline to the halls of justice to see John. Once they got there, they opened the small trunk in front of both of them. Inside were a few things. There are some business cards, John's Marine Corps discharge papers,

locks of hair of his mom and two sisters, and finally wrapped in old newspaper, was a gold pocket watch with an engraving of the U.S. Capitol building on the back. It was the exact same one Samuel Adams had on him the day he disappeared. Meanwhile, Mayor Morris continued to look for that crate. He summoned William Godfrey to his office. William Godfrey was the superintendent of carts. Godfrey was ready because he had actually read the notice in the paper that morning

and he knew exactly why the mayor wanted to talk to him. Yeah. William Godfrey suggested they should go talk to a cartman named Thomas Russell. Thomas Russell frequently worked near the granite building. You know, maybe he knew something. Mayor Morris was like, fine, go talk to him. So William Godfrey went to the granite building, and sure enough, there was Thomas Russell, standing outside of it, looking for customers.

And when questioned, Thomas Russell was like, oh, yeah, I remember that box. It was heavy. I helped another cartman load it up, and he took it down to the wharf. I don't remember his name though, but I would definitely remember his horse. Okay. That must have been some horse. No kidding. So Superintendent Godfrey and Thomas Russell walked down to the Maiden Lane Wharf, and there they saw it.

A horse wearing a top hat. Showing. Wearing a coat with a 16-inch penis. Stop it. No wonder he remembered that horse. Norman. Okay. That's not what happened. They actually found Richard Barstow, the cartman they were looking for.

So Superintendent Godfrey asked about the crate, and Barstow, quote, recollected it clearly. Oh yeah, heavy box had blue writing on it, and the guy stiffed me. Yeah, no, that's all of it would track. Yeah. You'd remember everything about that. Godfrey then asked, where is the crate? Follow me, said Barstow. The men walked down the wharf until they stopped in front of a ship, the Kalamazoo.

Barstow pointed, it's on that ship. Investigators were lucky that the Kalamazoo was still around. Its departure had been delayed for several days due to bad weather. Godfrey reported back to Mayor Morris, who then, quote, took immediate measures to detain the ship. What followed was what you heard in the introduction of Part 1, Kristen. The following morning on Sunday, September 26th, 1840, 4th, Mayor Morris and other city officials boarded the Kalamazoo.

They found the crate, and inside was the body of Samuel Adams. Tied up with rope, half naked, decomposing, with salt poured all over his body. With that discovery, John Caldwell Colt was officially charged with the murder of Samuel Adams. On the next episode of an old-timey podcast, we'll learn about the absolutely bonkers trial of John. Caldwell Colt. Oh. Oh, I'm excited for that. Give us a little taste.

What's going to make it so bonkers? Is he going to represent himself in court? Tell me. No, he's got a great lawyer, Dudley Selden. Okay. Who served a very short term in Congress, by the way. Rich dude. All right.

So he's got a good defense. Okay. And you'll learn his brother, Samuel, will be helping a lot in this trial. Is he going to shoot all? the members of the jury. No, but a gun is involved. Well, that is very interesting. I have more questions, but I'm realizing I need to hold my horses.

I need to hold specifically that horse with the top hat and the jacket. Yes. And that's where the description ends, Norman. This is a classy podcast, very elegant or independent. Small, sexy, independent podcast. Would it be, would a horse be more memorable? if it had a really tiny penis? Like that, I think you should leave sketch?

So I think, here's what I think. It's kind of the same logic that I would use for the tip. That's not what I meant. I mean for like the tip that, yeah, okay. The tip? No, I mean like, you don't want to do too big on the tip or too small on the tip because either way it's memorable. It's either memorable for being too small or memorable for being too big.

You want the Goldilocks scenario. you want it just right and that's what makes it forgettable. I feel like I'm at lunch with Samantha right now. So. Well, honey, what you want is right in the middle. Anyway, folks, I don't mean to tantalize you, to titillate you to... Word of the year, 2026. Really?

Tittalating. Why was that the word of the year? We said it on the last episode Oh, I thought you meant Like someone official said it Not just us No, 26 just started You can't declare the word of the year already

You're right, you're right But we are here on an old-timey podcast Yeah Tittalating Anyhow, I was about to mention my father Oh, okay Folks And I do mean to titillate you with this

Our next bonus episode We're thinking it's gonna be a DP episode Oh yeah Are you prepared Daddy Daryl is in the house. Ew, never say that again. Double D's. Oh, no, okay.

It's getting weird. You know what? We're going to end this episode. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for, you know what? If you got to the end of this episode, you might not be a classy person. You might not be fit for Palm Beach members only. Yeah, that's the new show you're watching, isn't it?

Oh, God, it's so awful. And wow, those women are something. But anyway, you know what they say about history hosts? We always cite our sources. That's right. For this episode, I got my information from the books. Killer Colt, Murder, Disgrace, and the Making of an American Legend by Harold Schechter. Devil's Right Hand, the tragic story of the Colt family curse by M. William Phelps. The story of Colt's Revolver, the biography of Samuel Colt by William B. Edwards,

and remarkable trials of all countries by Thomas Dunphy. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts, and while you're at it, subscribe. And remember, when you leave that review, please say we are a... We are the finest. We are the finest podcast. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash old-timey podcast.

Join the Reddit community, R-slash old-timey podcast. Follow us on Facebook and YouTube and Instagram at Old-Timey Podcast. You can also follow us individually on Instagram. She is the beautiful Kristen Pitts-Carruso. I go by Gaming Historian, and until next... time, Tudaloo, Tata, and Cheerio. Bye. Oh.

Bye. Bye. Bye.