An Old Timey Podcast - 9: "I Love Lucy!" (Part 4)

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz had a goal – to star in a TV show as husband and wife. But there were about a million obstacles in their way. For one thing, CBS didn’t want to buy a TV show that featured an interracial couple. Major companies didn’t want to sponsor the show for that same reason. There was even a battle over where to film the show. In these negotiations, Desi proved himself to be a savvy negotiator and a shrewd businessman. He knew when to be tough. He knew when to flatter. And he knew to hire the right people and get out of their way.When they created “I Love Lucy,” Lucy and Desi knew they were breaking new ground. But no one could have imagined the phenomenon that it would become.Remember, kids, history hoes always cite their sources! For this episode, Kristin pulled from: “Love, Lucy,” by Lucille Ball“The Plot Thickens” podcast from Turner Classic Movies“The Life of Lucille Ball,” by Kathleen BradyThe documentary “Lucy and Desi” Are you enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Then please leave us a 5-star rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts!Are you *really* enjoying An Old Timey Podcast? Well, calm down, history ho! You can get more of us on Patreon at patreon.com/oldtimeypodcast. At the $5 level, you’ll get a monthly bonus episode (with video!), access to our 90’s style chat room, plus the entire back catalog of bonus episodes for Kristin’s previous podcast, Let’s Go To Court.

Hear ye, hear ye. You are listening to an old-timey podcast. I'm Kristen Caruso. And I'm Kristen Caruso's husband. Damn right you are. On this episode, Lucy and Desi start a TV show. Woo-hoo! We finally made it, folks. We've done it. Don't say it like that. Don't say it like you hopped on the Oregon Trail and half your family died of dysentery and you're finally here. Although it does feel like that, we've been talking about. Lucille Ball for a while. No, it's been a fun journey.

I'm excited for this episode. This is the episode. This is the meat. Pressure's on, Normie C. You better react like a champ. Before we start, I think it's important to acknowledge that we're recording on the 80th anniversary of D-Day. But not that you give a shit.

Norman, I had a little full. Flub last week. It's not that I don't give a shit about World War II. Interesting. Although I will admit that I did not know that today was D-Day. Oh, Kristen. I'm sorry. Very important day.

Okay. Also, you know, when this episode comes out on the RSS feed, it will be another special day. It'll be my birthday. That's right, folks. And there's nothing I want more for my birthday than for you to give us a five stars on whatever podcast platform you listen to this show. I thought you were going to be really tacky and just straight up ask for money. I was going to get to that.

Oh, excuse me. Don't let me stop you. But if you feel like maybe it's a little too tough to give us a five star rating, maybe you could join us over on Patreon. Patreon.com slash old timey podcast. What do they get if they do that, Norm? Kristen, you're not going to believe this. This is crazy.

I can't believe this podcast does this. Okay. For $5, you get actually. access to a Discord chat? Oh, my God. You get a monthly bonus episode of an old-timey podcast, including the video version. Oh. You get the entire back catalog of bonus episodes from Kristen's old podcast.

Let's go to court. There's 57 of them. Oh, no. I just crap my pants. It was so amazing. All that for $5? That's it. Sniff my butthole.

Oh, that's enough. We don't need to. You might be thinking, well, I want more. Give me more. Yeah. You got to upgrade to the $10 level because then you get a thank you card with stickers. You get monthly watch parties on YouTube. We're watching infomercials this month.

I am very excited for that. You get early. Oh, wait, wait, wait. You are so not good at this because you know what? When this episode comes out on the 12th, your birthday, hashtag celebrate, good times. Come on. All right, yeah. The next day is our watch party.

where we watch infomercials. Did you interrupt me just to say that? Yeah. What's wrong with that? Dear God. That's me being a business cat and remembering what's on our calendar. No, that's you being a business rat. You're like, give me the cheat.

Let me take up your time. I'm trying to tell the people about our Patreon. Tell them. You also get early ad-free episodes and full video of literally every episode of old-timey podcast. And then you get to watch me do cool stuff like this. and this. Wow. Everyone.

Don't tell them what I'm doing. Oh, I won't. I won't. I'll just tell him, if you really appreciate seeing the human body engaged in top-tier choreo, you're going to want to sign up at that $10 level on Patreon. Yeah. This is peak male performance right here.

Oh, I can see that for sure. You may not agree with it. Anyway, that's business cat over. Do we have any mistakes of shame before we? I don't believe so. Wow. So your episode was perfect last week. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Even though you said, who gives shit about World War II? I do not say that. No. I guess that's not a mistake. You're not admitting that you messed up there. Listen. Interesting. Okay.

Okay. Well, she's doubling down on it, folks. No. Let's move on, shall we? I also want to thank some people. Okay. Kristen, my army grows. Oh, I know.

The Doug fans are coming out of the woodwork. They've been hiding for years, and I've brought them out. The goofy movie fans are coming. It's really a shame because people who liked the cartoon Doug should be ashamed. They should be in hiding. But no, you, through this little podcast, you've brought them out. We have had it with you, okay? Uh-huh.

And so I'm announcing today, I am forming a militia. Okay, John Brown. Okay. And the history whole work is, let's come up with a fun name for this militia. You know, John Brown had the Potawatomi Rifles, which I thought was a great name. Yeah. So what should Norm's militia be called? The Quailman.

I thought about Goof Troop, too. Oh, that's good. But Disney might not like that. How about I'm going to build up my own army now. folks come forward if you've married a person it's been going well for years you know you're not really concerned about anything then all of a sudden what's this you realize that you are married to a disney adult you should be thrilled no one is thrilled oh my god my significant other likes cartoons my significant other knows all the lyrics to the songs from a goofy movie what a talented guy Join this militia I'm going to make pins for the militia

Oh yeah Yeah I'm thinking about making little Enamel pins That say what Well we're got to come up with a name first Oh okay Come on All right

Well you have the uniform I do Yeah it's tidy whiteies over a pair of khaki shorts How am I telling you Doug funny stuff Oh you're just saying the quailman uniform Well yeah wouldn't that be your uniform You're not going to reinvent the waxy shorts invent the wheel, are you? If the name of the army is the quailman, that would make sense,

but we haven't come up with a name yet, Kristen. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't even know why you're giving your advice, because the whole point of this militia is to take you down. If you're going to take me down, you better do it in some cute little undies, all right? It goes to all 12 of you who are in Norm's Army right now. All right, are you ready to hear this story, sir? Hey, let's get into the episode. I'm very excited. This is the big one, folks. Prepare yourselves.

I've got my towel over here. I'm ready to go. That's disgusting. I don't know why you would need a towel, but yeah, I guess it is good to be prepared. That's right. Okay. Do you need a previously? Uh, bitch, you know it.

Previously on an old-timey podcast. Oh, boy. I, you know what? I love doing that voice, and then I've got really sad things to say. say immediately afterward. Oh, good. Y'all ready? The 1940s weren't kind to Lucy and Desi.

Their marriage nearly ended when Lucy filed for divorce, but they stayed together. They suffered several miscarriages, which is why it's not good that I was having so much fun with that voice a moment ago. They argued constantly about Desi's infidelity, and they spent a lot of time apart. Their professional lives weren't much better. When Desi's movie career fizzled out, he spent most of his time on the road. with his band, drinking too much and hooking up with other women. Lucy, meanwhile, worked tirelessly to become an A-list actress. But movie studios wrote her off, thinking she didn't have the it

factor. By the end of the 1940s, Lucy's biggest professional success was a little radio show called My Favorite Husband. In fact, the show was such a hit that CBS wanted to move it to a newfangled thing called the TV. Transitioning from movies to television was a big risk, but Lucy figured that if she could convince CBS to allow her real-life husband to play her TV husband, then she might just get what she'd always wanted, more time with Desi, a solid career, and a chance to finally have children. And so, at 39 years old and pregnant, Lucille Ball decided to take a risk. this week's episode. Lucy and Desi start a TV show. Woo, wow, wow, wow. Okay, that's enough. That's enough. I'm just trying to hype it up. Let's go. Are you as pumped as I am? Oh,

God, I love, I love Lucy. I know you're not, you're not into it. What makes you say that? Well, you're not, right? Like, I mean, I grew up loving the reruns and I still occasionally watch it to this day. I've always been obsessed with Lucille Ball. What's your deal, though? So are you gatekeeping right now? What do you mean gatekeeping? You're like, I've always been a fan, but you maybe not so much. So maybe you're just not into it. Okay, tell the truth, Norman.

Are you into it or not? Admittedly, I didn't grow up watching I Love Lucy, but we watched a few episodes the other night and I enjoyed it. Yeah, I forced you. Did you enjoy it? You didn't force me. I did enjoy it. Okay.

What do you know about I Love Lucy, the TV show? Not much. You're walking in kind of cold? I mean, as far as what? Like, I know, I know, okay, Lucy is married to Desi or, sorry, Ricky, Ricky Ricardo. Yeah. And he, like, he runs a house band, right? Yeah, basically.

Yeah. And then she has a neighbor named Ethel. All right. Who she is always getting into hijinks with. Yeah. And Ethel's married to. Okay. We got, you got it.

That's, yeah. Spoiler alert. Well, no, I didn't. Okay. What? It's good. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's do this thing. Okay. I mean, you asked me what I knew when I was just telling you literally everything I know. I'm sorry. Sorry for answering your question. Oh, boy, here we go. Anyway. As you may recall, when Lucy signed on to do the radio show, she tried to convince CBS that Desi should play her husband.

And the executives at CBS were like, no, no, no. What will America think when they see a white woman married to a Cuban guy? Everyone will shit themselves. It'll be horrible. America will stink. Do you want that stench on your hands? That's a direct quote. Wow.

Mm-hmm. Who do you attribute that quote to? They all said it in unison, which is disturbing, but also a little impressive that they were so organized. Mm-hmm. But now that CBS wanted to take the radio show to T.E. TV, Lucy and Desi figured that this was their chance to try again. They'd just wrapped up their variety show where they'd gone all over the country performing as a married couple. Scandalous.

I'm scandalized just thinking about it. And they'd done that to prove to network executives that America would have no problem accepting them as a married couple. So they went to CBS and they asked again, could we do the TV show together? And CBS still said no. What does CBS stand for? Central Broadcast Service? I just made that up. For some reason I thought Christian Broadcasting Station.

Oh, no, I don't think so. Probably not. No. The CBS execs weren't stupid. They knew that Lucy had star power, and they wanted to keep her happy. So they did something kind of desperate. Really? Yeah.

Okay, this is interesting. Desperate? So. They killed someone. No. No. They had someone killed. No.

That's desperation. Let's say you're in this situation. You've got a star. You want to keep her happy. She's like, I want to work with my husband. I want him in the same town as me. I want him in the same industry. What do you do?

What's your desperate move? You don't want to put him on TV together because, God forbid, America's see an interracial couple. Uh-huh. What's your solution? Do you try to get Desi on another show? Oh, good job, Norm. Yes. That's like being filmed in the same place.

We would like to hire you as an executive at CBS in 1950. They wanted to hire Desi as an executive? No, no, no. I'm saying I want to hire you because you came up with basically the right answer, which is that, yeah, you give him a job. They decided to give Desi a job in radio, which was kind of rude because they'd already promised that job to another guy. That man's name, Johnny Carson. What was the show? I don't remember.

I didn't write it down. Damn it. Hey, Eden, don't give me that face. Don't give me that face. Research is kind of lacking. Oh, shit. You shut their mouth. Am I right?

The radio job, whatever the show was called, damn it, didn't quite accomplish what CBS hoped it would because Lucy and Desi still wanted to do a TV show together. And as everyone in the industry was about to find out, Desi Arnaz didn't take no for an answer. And neither did Lucy. You were really hating on Desi last episode. Sure was. Yeah.

And, you know, deservedly so. But this is where Desi's personality really shines. So that excuses all of his past. No, no, Norman. I'm just saying, like. I may be a piece of shit, but I got a great personality. I don't think it's fair to say he's a piece of shit. I'm just teasing.

Okay. But he did do some shitty things. Yeah, of course. Okay, what did he do? Okay, so just to back up a little, he talked later in life about how once he started doing something, he couldn't stop. If he was at work, he was going to work crazy hours, kick ass, take names, make deals, and be the best business person he could be. That obviously spilled into other areas of his life. You know, if he was going to drink, he was going to drink all the drinks.

If he was going to gamble, he was going to bet everything. If Desi Arnaz was going to do something, he was going all in. So in particular, Desi loved to negotiate. He especially loved to negotiate with big, powerful executives, partly because when he emerged as the victor in those negotiations, it was never just a standard victory. Desi was a Cuban refugee. He'd come to this country with no money.

He had a high school education. And at this point, he was still performing in places where he'd occasionally be told, oh, you can't walk through the lobby. He couldn't walk through the lobby? Yeah, sometimes he and Lucy would be somewhere. They'd be staying at a hotel or whatever, sometimes attached to the venue where they'd be performing,

and they'd be told, well, not they, he would be told that he couldn't walk through the lobby. Because he's Cuban? Yeah. Man, that's crazy. Oh, Lucy threw a fit over that shit. Yeah, I bet. These business negotiations gave Desi a chance to prove,

not just to himself, but to everyone, that not only was he smart, he could outsmart these executives who thought so little of him. So when CBS said, no, under no circumstances do we want to put you and Lucy on TV together. Dezzie said, okay. But he knew how competitive these networks were with one another. He knew how insecure these executives could be. So Lucy and Desi went ahead and made a pilot episode of I Love Lucy and they took it to NBC.

NBC. Did I say it funny? No. Sorry, I'm thinking of the movie Private Parts. The Howard Stern biopic. And he had the producer who said, all right, you got to plug the station. It's WNBC. WNBC.

You know, Norm, you're a fascinating character because you know the shit out of goofy movie. Cats don't dance. All these obscure kids movies. I'm just getting started. And then here we go, private parts with Howard Stern. Yeah. What else is in that noggin? Stay tuned, folks.

I've seen a lot of movies, that's all. Paul Giamatti, one of his early breakout roles in private parts. You love Paul Giamati? Yeah, I do. He's a fantastic actor. Okay. Still looking for that Oscar. We're rooting for you, Paul.

Norm and his army of Doug lovers. The to be determined militia is here for you, Paul Giamati. So they filmed a pilot And they took it to NBC Yeah The top rival of CBS And you know maybe they let word spread That they were taking their pilot to NBC

The non-threatening boy channel That's right Yeah And the second that the executives at CBS heard that NBC Was interested in the show They immediately changed their tune All of a sudden

They wanted the show No one else could have it. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz on TV together as an interracial couple. Fine by us. We never had a problem with it. And that's how CBS bought I Love Lucy. Wow. They probably sang them a song to like get them.

What? To like get them to come back. Who's doing the singing? CBS executives. That executive that was like the country's going to be shitting themselves. Uh-huh. Yeah. They were like, oh wait, wait, where's our love song?

What love song do you sing in a situation like this, Nor? Nobody else but you. We turn into a true blue duo hard times we had a few. Goofy movie. Oh, my God. Damn it. I was genuinely like, is this some weird song I've never heard before? You know what I'm realizing now?

What? When we got married, you could have been like, oh, I think we should write our own vows. and you could have recited a goofy movie shit to me, and I would have been none the wiser, but it would have been grounds for a moment. I could have sang you a Powerline song. If we listen to each other's hearts,

we'll find we're never too far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, for the first time ever we're singing it, I'd, I. I mean, what I hate is that that is a decent message that Powerline has put together. together for us. See? I'm sorry.

I've sang two goofy movie songs in a row. I'm a terrible singer, and you're trying to tell a story. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, sir. Everyone, if you think that two goofy movie songs is too much in one episode, please do not wish Norman a happy birthday today. Or if you think what you just heard was pure bliss, then please.

Get over on that Patreon and join the militia. Anyway, this was a massive victory, and I'm not talking about Powerline singing his song. I'm talking about Lucy and Desi getting their show on CBS. But Lucy and Desi did not have time to celebrate, Norman. Why not? Because they had just a few months to create a brand new show on what was essentially a brand new medium. Pressure was on. The first thing they had to do was find a sponsor.

Oh, dollar shave club. This was critical because in the early days of TV, commercials hadn't been invented yet. They didn't even have better help. Instead, the way it worked was one company would sponsor a show, and they'd sponsor the show for the entire season. That's amazing, like rich chocolatey ovalteen or something like that. Yeah. Okay. Okay, this is really funny.

I don't know if you were around when my dad. dad brought this up, but he was watching some really old TV show. And he was blown away because in the middle of the show, there was basically this, I mean, we would think of it as product placement now, but way less subtle than what we get today. And he was like, how is this possible? Here you go, dad. This is the answer to the question. They didn't have commercials yet. Have you ever seen that old Flintstones ad for Winston Cigarettes? No. Yeah, so I think Winston's cigarette sponsored the Flintstones.

Wasn't it always a kids show? No, the Flintstones, I mean, obviously kids watched it as a cartoon, but Flintstones was kind of pitched as like an adult animated sitcom as well. Oh, okay. And so, yeah, in the middle of the episode, it was like Barney and Fred behind their house smoking cigarettes with the jingle, Winston tastes good like a doot-doo, cigarette should. Man, what a weird time. I know. Things have changed. Now I want a freaking cigarette.

Yeah. You know, in the reboot. What would you do if I just started smoking while we were recording this podcast? Oh, I would take you to the hospital. The hospital. Yeah, because something, you've got a tumor or something. You are so anti-smoking. What if they did?

I've got one of those Robert Kennedy brainworms crawling through me. That's no joke. What if they did a real thing? boot of the Flintstones, but this time Barney and Fred go behind the house with vapes. Jewel vapes tastes good like a doot-d-doot. I got the banana bread flavor. Yeah, fruit punch. No, they'd have like weird prehistoric names like this is a fruity pebbles.

Bronosaurus berry. Oh, that sounds like a bronosaurus's testicles. Thanks a lot, Norm. Now you ruined it. Now it's disgusting. I need to get some Flintstone sound bites on here. So they needed a sponsor. But finding a company in 1950 that wanted to sponsor a TV show about an interracial couple was very hard.

At first, they went to Jello. J-E-L-L-L-O. It's alive. Maybe they'd like to sponsor the new TV show. And J-E-L-L-O. No! Did you write that? I sure did.

I'm so glad you remembered the jingle. How could I not? That's excellent. We were meant to be. We're seeing it eye to eye. Wow. Okay, so Jello said no. They went to a bunch of other ad agencies.

And the nicest thing I can say here is that 1950s racism did not beat around the bush. These companies were like, oh, no, thank you. We would not like to sponsor you. And yes, it is because we're racist. Bye. So did they say that? I mean, you know, it's pretty straightforward. Like, no.

White lady with the Cuban guy? No way? No, that's not what we're wanting to sponsor. Thank you very much. I'm trying to think of like an up-and-coming brand in the 50s that would be like, we're going to take a chance on this. Who do you think it's going to be? Salting crackers.

Salting Cracker Company. You think they're the edgy kind of brand that's like, we're going to take a chance on this. This was horrible, Norman. Without a sponsor, the show would quite literally not go on. But we all know that it did go on. So, Norman, we're looking for a corporate hero. It's not Sultines, I'm sorry to say.

Damn. Who do you think is going to sweep in and save the day? Really think about it. Can I get a clue? Um, yeah. It's going to be the type of hero that makes you go, oh. Marlboro? Cigarettes?

You're on the right track. It's our good friends at Philip Morris. Oh, Philip Morris. Philip Morris cigarettes. Who eventually bought Marlborough, right? I don't know what they bought and what they didn't buy besides research saying that cigarettes weren't harmful to your health. So not Winston's cigarettes, huh? I'm afraid not.

Didn't get that Flintstones. They were locked up with the Flintstones there. Philip Morris agreed to sponsor the I Love Lucy Show for $23,500 per episode. Oh. Adjusted for inflation, about 313K. Holy moly. How do we get that? Okay.

I know that sounds good. It's actually not good at all. That's about half of what other TV shows we're getting at the time period. That's crazy to me because, like, I think about I Love Lucy and how, like, a lot of the episodes were kind of filmed and, like, had, like, two scenes, like the sets. Where's all that money going? Oh, wow. Okay. Paying the actors and actresses, I guess.

So what you're doing right now, sir, good sir, is you are comparing 1950s TV to what you see today. No, not. Okay, what are you comparing it to? I'm just comparing to like how much that would be to like film on like one cent. I just don't think it would be that expensive. Oh boy. I'm a YouTuber with 15 years of experience. I'm about to catapult you out of here, sir.

We're saying that. All right, here we go. You know, you're right, because television was brand new. I bet all this stuff was super expensive. Yes, it was. Thank you very much. And let me tell you some more, okay? The funny thing was, even though Philip Morris was paying a bargain basement price, Norman,

they weren't exactly thrilled about this investment. They believed in Lucille Ball, but they didn't believe in Desi. This guy can't sing. We can barely understand him. And oh my God, his... His drumming is so loud. Holy shit, you're not going to have him sing and beat a drum on TV, are you? It's so spicy.

Sounds like me at a bar when they play live music. You do hate live music. It's too loud. I can't hear. It's so loud. I can barely eat my saltines. Yeah. The executives at Philip Morris were very confident that once the general public saw Desi on

TV, they'd hate him just as much as they did. And therefore, Desi's part on I Love Lucy would get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller until eventually he was removed from the show entirely. And everybody's happy. That's the plan on this podcast, too. Who's leaving? Just kidding. I mean, if your Doug Funny Village rises up, then I guess you will drive me out of here.

So Philip Morris was giving them a little money and secretly rooting. for Desi to go kick rocks, but Lucy and Desi didn't have time to worry about that. The big thing they had to figure out next was location. Where were they going to shoot the show? Desi and Lucy wanted to stay put in California. Sure. But Philip Morris wanted them to shoot in New York, and so did CBS. And that was because, in those days, 12 people had TVs, and 11 of them lived on the East Coast. Yeah, that makes sense. since TV was still a very new medium and kind of unpopular, there wasn't a big emphasis on quality. Most TV in those days was done live.

And the live version was what people on the East Coast saw. And the people out west got a copy of a copy. As in, no shit, someone would aim a camera at a TV screen. And that version, the shitty copy of a copy was what the West Coast got. So they got like a bootleg version? Yes. Yes. It's like someone took a camcorder into a movie theater and was like, here's the movie. We had a bunch of those growing up.

You did? We had bootleg VHS tapes, yeah. Why? My dad was in the Navy and he was, I think he was stationed in Hong Kong for a little bit. And like there were so many bootleg VHS tapes. Oh, sure. You could buy out of Hong Kong. And so we had Top Gun.

I can't remember the others because I just watched Top Gun mostly. We had a few. I have to brag to you now. Okay. And I'm sorry because it's going to make you jealous. But when I was a kid, my aunt Kathy worked at a blockbuster, okay? And so that meant she got a big old discount on some movies. And so she would get us the best and the latest and the greatest.

Yeah, but you didn't have the actual cover, obviously. It came in like a little red sleeve. Yeah. But still, we were pretty cool. Blockbuster always guaranteed they would have the newest releases and like multiple copies of it. Because a lot of those small town rental stores, they had like two copies of a new movie. You'd go in and say, damn it, where is your copy of Where Back a Dinosaur Story? Is that a real?

Yes, Kristen, it's a real movie. But you go into Blockbuster, they'd have 20 copies of Where Back a Dinosaur story. But no porn. And that is how the other video stores stayed in business. That red velvet curtain. Yes. All right, this concludes that history lesson. Shall we get back to Desi and Lucy?

Yes. All right. People need to know about rental stores. They do. This is an old-timey podcast after all. It sure is. And I do like the idea of us covering corporate history. J.C. Penny.

I'm doing it. Well, that sounds terribly boring. But all right. I'll sit through it. Just you wait. So, Desi. and Lucy want to stay in California. Everybody else wants them in New York.

Everybody had good reasons. But, you know, this was a big point of contention. But Desi was the one who came up with the solution. Why not shoot on film? If you shot on film, it'd be like a movie. And you could make a ton of copies, and they'd all be top quality. Everyone, no matter where they lived, would get a top quality product. No more copies of a copy.

Wait a second. No one had thought of that before. Norm, this is just being invented. TV is almost brand spanking new. Very few people have TV sets. It just blows my mind that no one had thought like, oh, we could just put this on film and then distribute the film, just like a movie. It's more expensive that way.

So a lot of the shows were broadcast live, like you said. Yeah, like a play. Okay. Yeah, that's a way better idea. Absolutely. Yeah. But it makes sense, right? It's a new thing.

It's not that popular. Let's do the cheapest thing possible. My other thought was maybe they could meet in the middle and film in Kansas City. Oh, a beautiful idea. One of the greatest cities in the world, don't you agree? Well, I do like it here, but no. This was actually an idea that other people in Hollywood had been talking about doing, because you're right. It's not like some crazy new idea.

But Desi was the one to say, okay, let's actually do it. Even on this tiny budget, too, right? Absolutely. Trendsetters. But, you know, it was very expensive. Oh, very expensive. Thank you, Mr. Dink. So the executives at CBS were like, whoa, okay, look, if you want to do this, you and Lucy need to take a pay cut.

The two of you are supposed to be paid a total of $5,000 an episode, adjusted for inflation, about $66,000 an episode. It's about what we get paid for old-timey-time. Yeah, roughly. But if you shoot this show in California on film, then we are going to dock your pay by $1,000 per episode. That's it? Yeah. Oh, I'd do that in a heartbeat. Okay.

Then you don't have to move to New York and work yet, of course. This turned out to be one of Desi's most brilliant negotiations. And who knows, maybe one of the most brilliant negotiations in television history. What did he do? He said, okay, okay, yeah, we'll take a pay cut on one condition. We get to own the film negatives. They get the rights to the masters. Mm-hmm.

It's a good idea. CBS said yes. They thought Desi was so stupid. What was the point in owning the film negative for a TV show? Once the show aired, who on earth would ever want to watch it again? Especially if they already saw it the first time. That's crazy. I know.

I know. Don't you love that? Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Swift should have listened to this podcast, and then she would have learned she needed her masters. Yeah, she's really struggling now. If only she'd heard this story, then she wouldn't be... It's a real shame. That is very forward thinking. That is huge. Mm-hmm. Great idea, Desi. Yeah. CBS was more than happy to make that deal with Desi because they didn't realize the value of what they'd just given away. Yeah, they were probably like, oh, we were just going to like burn this in the dumpster later, but sure. This is reminding me of that time that I saw someone on like Craigslist or some, maybe it was Facebook marketplace.

I don't know. They bought a really old house and it had all the original light fixtures in it. This grand old house, all the original light fixtures. And this guy thought that those light fixtures were ugly and ew and why would anyone want them? and I like sped over there to buy them. And it was the weirdest interaction because he thought I was fucking nuts for wanting these old ass light fixtures that would need to be rewired. And I thought he was like a fucking criminal for taking these things out of this grand old home. And I also thought he was an idiot for only charging me 20 bucks.

Anyway, that's how I am just like Desi in this story. That's just like Desi. You're right. Thank you for sharing that story. It's exactly the same. You're welcome. Yes. So they make this deal.

And, you know, it's possible that even Desi didn't appreciate just how incredible the deal was, partly because there was still so much work to do. They'd won the right to shoot the show on film, but everyone knew that Lucy performed better in front of an audience. So the dream was to film I Love Lucy in front of a live studio audience. but nothing like that had ever been done before. Really? Not on film, not, you know, like... Man, so this is a lot of firsts. Yes.

Okay. And when Desi asked around, everyone said, it was impossible. You just couldn't do this. But that was the thing about Desi. People would say something was impossible, and he'd ask, well, why? They'd say, this is the way things are done. This is how things have always been done. And he'd say, well, why not change?

Desi was very comfortable questioning the status quo, which I think makes sense because just his very existence as a Cuban man with a thick accent married to a very successful white woman ran counter to the status quo. Why not question everything? Including monogamy. Norm, he didn't cheat on you. But no, you're right, you're right. That's shitty that he cheated. I'm just telling you what a good business person he was. No, that's very smart.

And if on some level people are rooting for you to fail, why not work even harder to make your victory that much sweeter? Oh, don't get me started on that, Christian. I know, this is you. That is me right there. This is you. Mm-hmm. I feed off the hate.

It's funny because I feel like people who know you would never guess that about you. No. But you are motivated by sports. spite. Yeah, I remember, Kyla invited me to an orange theory class one time. Yeah. My sister, Kyla. Uh-huh.

Yeah. When you walk in, I guess they ask you a question every day. Like, it's like the question of the day. Like a conversation starter. Yeah. And they're like, is it okay to be spiteful? Uh-huh. And I was like, absolutely.

And I think I was the only one that answered. Of course you were. Everyone else, I'm sure, was like, oh, no. No, it's very unprofessional. And I was like, no, it's totally cool to be spying. So it took a lot of work. But Desi eventually found a massive studio. It was called General Service Studios.

It's now called Sunset Las Palmas Studios. General Service Studios. Someone needs to work on their naming. Would you like to work at General Service Studios? I would argue that General Service Studios is the perfect place to go if you're sponsored by saltines. Yes. Right?

Sunshine saltine crackers. You're correct. So Desi got started figuring out everything they needed for this unique studio. They needed bleachers for the audience and extra bathrooms, and they needed to check all the boxes to make sure that the studio would be safe for all the people it was going to hold. Vending machines. Absolutely. That was the first thing.

Just a vending machine. Don't put fruit or crap like that in there. I want snacks. Just all saltines, right? Saltines should be good. I do love saltine crackers. I know you do, you weirdo. Isn't that just the law? If your name is Norman, you have to have a box of saltines in your house at all times. That's funny you say that. I got something in the mail today. It was a little booklet called like everything you need to know about Medicare. Oh. It was addressed to me.

So yeah, everyone just thinks I'm a 60-year-old man or possibly. I was going to say 60 might be a little young for the name Norman. They thought I served during D-Day. Yeah. And they were like, this guy's probably celebrating real hard right now. Yeah. But when he comes off of it, you know, he'll probably want to read this piece of mail. Mm-hmm.

Anyhow, they got to work building sets, and that was kind of cool because the studio was so huge that it could hold several permanent sets. And their permanence meant that those sets could be of much higher quality than other TV sets. Because they'd have to break them down. Yeah. So I guess you can suck on it for earlier saying that I Love Lucy was just this simple little, cheap little thing. But logistics were tricky. What about lighting? Been there. Mm-hmm. You've had trouble with lighting, have you? Oh, my God, yes.

Yeah. Okay, so you're the perfect person to talk to about this because you know it's no simple thing. No, it's so fucking complex. Yes. It was kind of this big, impossible problem because they're, needed every angle of the set lit to perfection because they'd be shooting with three cameras. More on that later. Just hold that in your little hat. Yeah, all the shadows you got to worry about. Oh my gosh. I'm having non-flashbacks. I can tell you've got a distant look in your eyes. My God. Thinking about my early YouTube videos. A shadow in every corner. Yeah. Oh, my God. Also, the star of the show would be a 40-year-old woman who'd recently give a.

and birth. Disgusting. I know. We all agree. But no, they wanted to make sure that Lucy was shot in the most flattering lighting possible, obviously. I think anyone would want that, sure. Yeah, but I think it was especially important to her because she'd been this actress

and, like, she'd been known kind of for her beauty and maybe you're feeling insecure. And so, gosh, can we at least make sure the lighting is good? Fair. So here comes the damn near impossible part. Okay. They needed to do all of this without obstructing the view of the studio audience. Put them up high. Hmm.

This was a very tough problem to solve, Norman, because no one had thought of that yet. Another one of Desi's strengths was his ability to hire the right people and just get out of their way. Lucy had always loved the work of this legendary lighting guy, Carl Freund. Carl was a genius. He had an Oscar. He was super well respected and also very unavailable for this project. Yeah, once you get an Oscar, it kind of... Elevates you a bit? Yeah, you get kind of busy. You're not going to believe what he was doing. What was he doing?

He was working in Washington, D.C., developing spy shit for the government. Like little itty-bitty cameras. Oh, cool. Yeah. You know, I heard the other day, the United States tried to... spy on Russia during the Cold War with cats. What? They like put little microphone recording devices in cats. God. It didn't work out.

Did the Russians catch on or were cats just being cats? I can't remember why they said it like failed immediately. Something bad happened. Great. Yeah. More on that later. I would, okay. That'd be a good episode.

That would be a great episode. Yeah. Spy efforts that failed. Yeah. Do you remember when we went to the spy, was it the spy museum or the NSA museum? It was the NSA museum. Yeah, and they talked about how like some like Russian school children visited the White House and they like gave the president a like little gift or something.

Yeah. Like a little plaque or whatever. Uh-huh. Plaque. This is a true plaque alert because they should have been alerted by this plaque. And it had a microphone in it. Oh yeah. It was a listening device presented by innocent children.

Damn kids. I told you. That's why I don't like children. Because they're always trying to spy on you. Well, spy on you for the Russians. Check out your own kids, history hoes. Yeah. See if they have any listing devices on them.

Trust no one. That's right. So Desi talked to Carl and explained that they needed some kind of way to have perfect lighting on every angle of the set and also not obstruct anyone's view of the set. And Carl was like, yeah, that's impossible. And Desi said, well, I know that everyone says. it's impossible, but I'm reaching out to you right now because if there's anyone who could figure out how to do this, it's you.

Or Norman Caruso. Sir, you hadn't even been born yet. Also, you don't have an Oscar. You have a YouTube plaque for a million subscribers, which is almost as good. Oh, my God. You look so hurt. You look so hurt. I am humiliated.

I'm like Carrie on her wedding day with Big. Yeah. I'm sorry. I freaked out for a minute, but I'm back, baby. I knew you would do this. I knew you would shame me on a podcast. I knew you would make fun of my YouTube plaque. So yeah, Desi puts on the old Desi charm.

Mm-hmm. And it worked. And he slept with Carl Freud. I don't believe so. But, I mean, if you're going to do it, you know, might as well. It's worth it. Carl was so flattered and so intrigued by this problem. that only he could solve, that he forgot to ask what he'd be paid for this work.

So he came out to Hollywood, realized, damn it, I'm getting minimum wage. Oh, man. But he was committed to the job, and Desi had fucked him good, so sure enough, he figured out how to do the impossible. He put the bleachers up a little higher. He came up with what is now called flat lighting. Flat lighting covers the entire set in light. it eliminates shadows completely. And to this day, it is the standard for multi-camera sitcoms.

Absolutely. Okay, so we have to pause because I just mentioned multi-camera sitcoms. Multiple cameras are critical in front of a live audience because they allow a taping to go much faster. You know, all the action is being captured at once as it unfolds. Multiple cameras also can make editing easier. True. Now, we have multiple cameras. Yeah.

And flat lighting. We're just like the I Love Lucy show. Yeah, we could work on our flat lighting a little bit, but yeah. We sure could. A lot of people think that Desi Arnaz created the idea of like a multi-cam sitcom for I Love Lucy. And they think that because Desi said he created that idea for I Love Lucy. Oh, wow. Okay.

And a lot of sources still do credit him for that. probably the reality is, and this comes from Kathleen Brady's book, the multicam method was already being used by another TV show at the time they were creating I Love Lucy. That other show was called Truth or Consequences. It was also sponsored by Philip Morris. It was also on CBS. So I Love Lucy definitely perfected the multicam method, but I don't think it's quite accurate

to say that they invented it. Yeah, or popularized it. Sure, sure. Yeah. Kathleen Brady. Curious History Ho, I bet. Oh, for sure. Mm-hmm. The Impossible was being achieved.

They had a sponsor, they had a studio, they had all the logistics, and they had a writing team. Lucy brought over Madeline Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr., who'd been her writers on her radio show. I remember Madeline. Who doesn't? Jess Oppenheimer, who'd been the head writer and producer of the radio show, agreed to serve in that same role for I Love Lucy. He had just finished developing the atomic bomb. Yeah, and he was like, you know what? I need something a little lighter, please.

I need to pursue my true calling, comedy. By this point, the writers had worked with Lucy for a while, and they knew how to write to her strengths. They knew she was a very physical performer. They knew she had great facial expressions and could do weird noises. That's pretty good. Thank you. But Madeline and Bob were still pretty young and were a little freaked out about writing for a TV show. They'd never done it before.

And in fairness to them, very few people had in 1950. So they went out and bought themselves a manual on how to write for television. Someone had a manual? Sure. Who wrote it? I don't know, but isn't that cute that they went out and bought a little manual for their little new job on the TV? I guess it's like the for dummies books. I will say, I hate this shit.

I remember when I was, like, graduating college and, like, I was interviewing at newspapers, they would always ask this question. Okay, so you can write for a newspaper, but do you know how to write for web? For web? Yeah, do you know how to write for web? I think that is so fucking stupid when there's some new media. But, like, oh, but do you know how to write for it? Because it's totally different.

You know how people like a story in the paper? Well, when they get on their computer, they want something totally different. They want a top 10 list. Right for the web. All we want is watch Mojo. You just want Watch Mojo scripts. Do you remember when I bought that How to Start a Business book? I do.

It was like how to start a business for Dummies. Yes. It was like the first thing you need is an idea. But where do ideas come from? That wasn't even for Dummies book. That was for. What are you going to say? Very sad.

I would love to know the percentage of people who bought that book and later created a successful business. I think you are a real standout, sir. How do you think the game in a story happened? I bought that book. You were like, huh, so ideas can be big or small and can come from any place. Can come from many places. That's right. As I recall, that book had cartoons with it.

Yeah, I think it was written by Steve Jobs. Anyhow Now, if you're listening to this episode You probably already know the basic premise of I Love Lucy You already know Is that an inside joke? What is that? It might be an inside joke with just my family In which case you're welcome, world, I'm very sorry

From now on Anytime you're saying you already know You have to sing You already know You already know But just in case you don't already-do. You should know that the idea for I Love Lucy was that Desi would play the straight man.

He'd be Ricky Ricardo, a Cuban band leader who at the end of the day wanted to come home to his middle-class New York apartment and just have a nice normal life away from showbiz, Norm. Kind of like how you just want to come home to your Kansas City home, away from the glitz and glamour of YouTube. That's right. I want to be Houseboy. And Lucy would play Lucy Ricardo, a... stay-at-home wife who wants desperately to be in show business, despite the fact that she can't sing, she can't dance, and she has no experience. Every week, she'd get into all kinds of hairbrain schemes trying to get herself into the business. She was the kind of character that the audience could root for

and laugh at, and love. The writers for I Love Lucy knew that they would need another couple for Lucy and Ricky to interact with. Ethel. And Fred. And Fred, Fred, that's a That's his name. Yeah, people they could argue with and scheme with and be friends with and laugh with. And they decided that that couple would be Lucy and Ricky's friends slash landlords, Fred and Ethel Mertz. Before we go any further, I need to insert a very fun fact. Are you ready? Straight into my rectum. My God.

Well, bend over. We're not just doing this for the laughs. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo were originally going to be Lucy and Larry Lopez. But at the time, there was a bandleader named Vincent Lopez, and they were afraid there might be some confusion and hard feelings, so they changed it. Oh, thank God they changed that. Larry Lopez? Oh, I think that's a great name. Lucy and Larry Lopez, the alliteration. Ricky Ricardo is a way better name.

I think this is one of those situations where if they'd done Larry Lopez and Lucy Lopez, and you later heard they thought about Ricardo, you'd be like, Like, eh, Ricardo, no. Larry Lopez is like... What? I think of a leisure suit, Larry, that old computer game. Well, you are the gaming historian.

Larry Lopez and the Land of the Lounge Lizards. Okay. Anyway, fun fact adjourned. Back to the action. The clock was ticking. They'd gotten a network. They'd gotten a sponsor. Created a one-of-a-kind studio.

Invented a new lighting system. Perfected the multi-camera system. but they still hadn't hired Fred and Ethel Mertz. By this point, Lucy had been in showbiz for a long time, so she had a couple of ideas about who could play Fred. Clark Gable? No, I think Clark was a little too big time. Johnny Carson?

No, he was a little too small time. The actors she wanted were working on other projects. And, you know, maybe some folks weren't super eager to start working in this new thing called television, because, you know, this was the time when, What? Richard Denning. Well, I mean, he kind of got cast out of a job because Desi got the job. So way to bring him up, he was probably feeling pretty hurt.

I don't know, let me bring you over to this new show. You can play the landlord. I don't know that he might have. She brought a lot of friends on to play different roles. But no, he was not the type. He was way too hot to play Fred Mertz. Okay, we can all agree to that. Yes.

Yes. I agree. That dude was smoking hot. It was ridiculous that he was ever in radio. Yeah, you know, when I was adding images to the video. You were hard as a rock. I was. I saw a picture Richard Denning.

I was just like, geez. Two turned on to work. I'm calling out. And by that, you meant yelling down to your wife's office. Yep. Someone else has to finish this edit. So this was around that time where, like, movie studios were really worried about TV. So they were telling their movie stars, hmm, if you go work on TV, you know, you'll never see it.

our faces again. They were feeling threatened. Yes. So the actor who kind of rose to the top was a guy named Bill Frawley. Bill had been a character actor at Columbia and MGM for years. And he was kind of desperate. He was playing a hot dog vendor on a TV show, making very little money. The role I was born for.

Hot dog vendor. Hot dog vendor. As Fred Mertz, he'd play a great guy. grumpy, dumpy old man. And it was perfect because Bill Frawley really was a grumpy, dumpy old man. He was 64 years old. He had a real problem with authority figures. An unwavering loyalty to the New York Yankees and a very well-known addiction to alcohol. Lucy had concerns. And so did CBS and so did Philip Morris. Sure. Bill had been in the industry for a really long time. And, his alcoholism, and, you know, the unreliability that sometimes stemmed from it was a known

issue in the industry. So CBS and Philip Morris both flat out said, do not hire this guy. But Desi was confident that Bill was the right person to play Fred Mertz. And also, Desi enjoyed alcohol himself, often too much. Yeah. So he met up with Bill for drinks. Uh-oh. The two men knocked a few back and Desi laid down the law. He said, look, I don't care whether you drink or not, but don't do it during working hours. The first time you're unable to do your job during working hours, I'll work around you. The second time, I'll try to manage again.

But if you do it three times, you're through. And Bill agreed. They had a deal. Three strikes are out rule. Mm-hmm. So they had Fred Mertz. Hmm? Now they had to find Ethelmerts.

And this is where things got a little messy. Oh, why? Okay, so keep in mind that at this point, Lucille Ball was pushing 40. She was very pregnant. And if everything went according to plan, she'd be starring in her own TV show just a few weeks after giving birth for the first time. So she was maybe a little insecure and also very exhausted. And I'm fucking sorry.

but common sense would dictate that the type of actress that they would hire to play Bill Frawley's wife would probably be around his same age, at his same level, looks wise, right? Yeah, yeah. Why does it come's always do this? But that's not what happened. Who'd they get to play his wife? Gloria Swanson. First of all, you should know that Lucy was not involved in the casting for Ethel Mertz. Okay.

Instead, Desi and their producer slash head writer, Jess Oppenheimer, heard that this actress named Vivian Vance was starring in a play nearby. So Desi and Jess drove out to see the play and get a sense for whether she'd be good for the show. Oppenheimer heard she was the bomb. Okay. Right away, they were sold. They were like, this woman is amazing. They called Lucy at intermission, and they were like, we found her. We found Ethel. Vivian Vance is perfect for the role of Ethel Mertz.

And Lucy, who was already spread way too thin, was like, great, okay, hire her, cool. But Lucy had never laid eyes on Vivian. She didn't know that Vivian was pretty and thin and kind of young. She was only two years older than Lucy. Oh, that wouldn't work, yeah. And Lucy certainly didn't know that Vivian had beautiful red hair. Lucy and Vivian's first meeting was pretty rough. First off, Vivian was dressed to the nines, of course, because, you know, she's there to meet her new boss.

Sure. But that just made Lucy feel even dumpier. Lucy was mad and frankly kind of rude. Scratch that, very rude. She made no secret of the fact that she thought Vivian did. didn't fit the role of Ethel Mertz. She expected Vivian Vance to look like the type of woman who would be married to fat, old, bald, Bill Frawley. And Lucy wasn't the only one who was mad about it.

When Vivian met the man who was going to play her husband, she was like, excuse me, I'm supposed to be married to this guy. He's 22 years older than me. You're right. This happens all the time. Yes. In movies and TV shows. I hate it. What's the worst example you can think of?

The one that always comes to mind is King of Queens, where Kevin James is married to Leah Remini. Okay, so here's my issue with it. Okay, we've got Kevin James and Leah Remini as a couple. All right, that's not against the law. But you know what? It better be talked about. It better be regularly featured in the show because that fucking show, I remember there was an episode where Kevin James was upset because Leah Remedy kept putting her hair in a bun and it wasn't very attractive to him.

And I'm sorry, I cannot have been the only person watching that going, are you fucking kidding me? If you saw a man who looked like Kevin James who was married to someone who looked like Leah Remini and he was like, I'm not very turned on by her hairstyle at the current moment, you'd be like, dude, what the fuck? This is like the SNL skit with the guy that collects Smurfs and he's married to J-Lo. Exactly. And also Kevin James in that show was like a FedEx driver or something. He's a UPS driver, yeah. No, in real life, if someone looks like that and they're married to someone as hot as Leah Remedy, it's because he's a billionaire, all right? This is no offense to Kevin James.

Yes, offense. Yes, offense to Kevin James. Well, he's a perfectly fine-looking gentleman. That's not what I'm saying. I am saying... You're saying Kevin James outkicked his coverage with Leah Remini. Outkicked his coverage in like a stratospheric way. Okay? And when that happens, it has to be talked about and acknowledged.

Otherwise, it's fucking weird. And that's what I hate about movies and TV shows where there's like this weird, crazy mismatch in ages or looks or something. And it's like, that's fine if we're going to do that. But don't try to tell me that this is a normal everyday couple that I would see in my middle-class neighborhood. Yeah. You know, that happens to Kevin James again in the movie Hitch. Yeah, it's really unfortunate that he always falls ass backwards into really beautiful women. Oh, get ready for this.

He falls in love with his, like, billionaire boss who looks like a supermodel. Yes. The reason I say, yes, offense to him is because these dudes are involved in the kids. Casting? Come on. Yeah. So you think Kevin James should have been like, this is not believable that I would be married to this woman.

Yes. Or there should be a joke about like, I've got a seven foot dick or something. Like there needs to be some reason. Seven foot dick. I don't know. There needs to be some reason. How's he going to make any deliveries with a seven foot dick? You have to wrap it around himself and tie it off.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. I don't know. Are we a mismatched couple? Do you think people see us and they're like... Oh, God, I hope not. And they think, man, that guy really outkicked his coverage. No, I don't think people think that at all.

You're a very good-looking guy. Ooh. Okay. All right, calm down. That was a tangent worth having. That's a good tangent, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm glad we talked about this.

I felt the same way in that stupid movie with Jim Carrey and Zoe Day Chanel, where Jim Carrey is an... Yes, ma'am. Yes, he's an old man with hair dye running down his neck, and we're supposed to believe that he's dating Zoe de Chanel, a literal child. She wasn't a literal child. I'm sorry, that was too far. But you know what I mean. Now I'm trying to think of more. There are so many. Yeah, they really are. Michael Richards in Seinfeld?

Oh, my God. Yeah. Michael, yeah, Kramer. Yes. Well, all those guys, actually. Kramer had super hot girlfriends George had super hot girlfriends And Jerry had super hot girlfriends God forbid we see a normal looking woman on TV Yeah

In a comic role Give me a fucking break Oh I get so pissed off about this shit George Costanza should not be getting Women like he did on that show No but also I'm sorry Kramer didn't even have a job Yes he did

No he didn't He invented a cologne He wrote a coffee table book. That was stolen by Calvin Klein. Yeah, but he was compensated. Remember he got that modeling gig? Anyway. He spilled hot coffee on himself and he sued.

I'm supposed to believe that he is dating Sarah Silverman. I think not. Yeah, that was one of the worst ones. Mm-hmm. Anyhow. We'll move on. By the way, Lucy and Vivian would eventually become very good friends. But Vivian and Bill never got along.

Yeah. Okay, and there are probably a lot of reasons for that. Bill seems like a bit of a pill. Bill pill. But Vivian took her craft very seriously, but Bill really didn't. Like he didn't take the show seriously at all, even though he was very good at his role. He was a hell of a hot dog vendor. Damn right.

I mean, I would believe him as a hot dog vendor. Oh, yeah. The story is that one time he overheard Vivian complaining about how unfair it was, that she had to play the wife of this dumpy old man. and he was very offended by that remark. Yeah. And he stayed offended forever and ever, amen. But again, come on, dude.

So things weren't perfect, but they were coming together. They were about a month and a half away from shooting their first episode when Lucille Ball went into labor. This process of creating the new show and getting everything in place had been wild. But it had been important to Lucy and Desi because if the show was even mildly successful, then they'd get to work together. No more going on tour, no more working nights while the other work days. They'd be together, together with their child. This child that they'd been hoping for and praying for for 10 years. They'd suffered several miscarriages, but neither of them had given up hope that one day they'd

have children together. And on July 17, 1951, Lucy went into labor. When she got to the hospital, the medical staff discovered that the baby was coming feet first. And they were like, ooh, C-section time. So they knocked Lucy out. Feet first. Yeah. It's in breach of contract.

Ha-ha-ha. Sorry. I used to have a court podcast. That's a little court humor for you. You're welcome, everyone. Wow. So insightful. Before she'd gone into labor, she and Desi had agreed that if the baby was a girl, they'd name it Susan.

So when Lucy woke up and found out that she'd had a little girl, she was like, oh, where's Susan? And Desi was like, surprise, I named her Lucy. He named the child already? Yeah. Lucy with an I.E. I guess it was fine. Hmm. What?

You look like you have thoughts. Well, I just feel like he could have waited, you know. Yeah. Got an input from the woman who gave birth to the child. Yeah, that would be ideal, I think. Yeah. But he's just so charming and fun. Oh, ha. You're so cool, Desi.

Oh, my God. I'm a hater. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. You're allowed to have your feelings about Desi. Lucy and Desi were overjoyed and overwhelmed. Just seven weeks after Lucy gave birth, they got to work filming their first show.

It was a whirlwind. Partly because right before the show got started, producer slash headwriter Jess Oppenheimer was like, just so you know, I own 20% of the show. And Desi was like, no, you don't. And Jess was like, the agreement I have with CBS is that I get 20% of whatever series I make. If they didn't tell you that, then get mad at CBS, which was a fair point. So what did they do? Desi got super fucking mad and he decided to end the show before it even started. You just say, we're not doing the show?

Yeah, he was like, fuck this. Which, I mean, that is huge. That's 20%. But I think Jess Oppenheimer was also right that it's. like this is the deal I have with CBS. If CBS didn't tell you, get mad at them. Don't get mad at me. Yeah, of course.

But Lucy put her foot down. She was like, we cannot quit. No, we've come this far. Yeah, this is already a huge risk. We've literally revolutionized how to make a TV show and we haven't even made the show yet. And you want to end it right now. But also, if we back out now, we will solidify ourselves as, failures. Everyone in town knows we're doing this show. They know we're doing it big. And you want to

stop now? Over money. Right. So Jess kept his 20%. And he actually gave 5% to Madeline and Bob, the young writers, which is very sweet. That's very good. But this set the tone for what would be a never-ending power struggle between Jess and Desi and Lucy. But that's a problem. But that's a for a future day. For now, they had to get to work. And boy, did they. Put in work. Work, work. Put in work. Work. That's what we sing at the start of every work day. The thing about doing something groundbreaking in a really short period of time is that it can kind of feel like you're trying to assemble a car as you drive it. Lucy and Desi had a lot riding this. Lucy and Desi had a lot riding this.

had a lot writing on this. It's important. They were not writing this. Yeah. Uh-huh. I hadn't even been born yet. Okay. And actually neither had my parents.

So there you have it. Lucy and Desi had a lot writing on this. So things were a little tense at first. At read-throughs, Lucy was not great. And that's because she was a rehearser. She rehearsed everything. over and over again, so that when she performed all the physical comedy, it felt really natural and believable. But until she got to that point, whew, it was rough. Ironically, the rest of the cast

did really well at read-throughs. Desi proved to be an impressive straight man. He had really good timing. Bill Frawley was perfect as Fred Mertz, and in typical Fred Mertz fashion, he didn't give a shit about much. So while everyone else took the show super seriously, he'd show up, memorize his lines, and not even bother reading the rest of the script. It was not important to him. Blue-collar guy. I like it. And that really pissed off Vivian Vance, who took every line seriously and was more than willing to argue about it if she thought it would improve the show. That first week of rehearsals went pretty well. But that's not to say that the filming of their first episode was some smashing success.

In fact, it was kind of a mess. They were still figuring things out. It hadn't occurred to them that they could add music from the band after the fact in editing. Plus, they were still playing with camera angles, so they had a bunch of close-ups and long shots. So, wait, they were trying to play music live as they filmed? Yeah, so it kind of goes, you know, it's like they were reinventing a lot of stuff, But, you know, some stuff, it's just the way it's always been done. So if other TV shows are done like a play, well, yeah, you've got the whole orchestra there.

That's crazy. Yeah. It just didn't occur to them that like, oh, my God, there's a much easier way to do this. The first episode was such a mess to edit that even though it was the first episode they shot, it was the fourth episode that they aired. That happens a lot in TV. Oh, really? Yeah. I've seen that before.

Well, and not necessarily the pilot, but I remember watching the Golden Girls, and there were some late season one episodes that were clearly made as like the second or third episode. Yeah. You've really studied the Golden Girls. I have. I think that makes sense as you're figuring stuff out, especially in the editing process. Like there are going to be some episodes that come together faster than others. And back then it was all thin. So that was old school editing.

Yeah. Cutting the film strips and stuff with literally a pair of scissors and whatnot. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, and then they would like tape the film strips together. And that's how they edited. God, that's wild. Yeah. So they're still figuring things out and people were still figuring out whether they even liked the show.

In fact, after the first few episodes aired, the president of Philip Morris hated the show so much that he looked. into what it would cost to break their contract. Man. I know. I don't really not like it. And he wasn't alone. At first, critics weren't wild about the show either, but viewers were. The show debuted on Monday, October 15th, and by early November, one in nine Americans

tuned in to watch the show. One in nine. Yeah. And I don't know, maybe that's one in nine who had a TV set, but it's becoming a phenomenon. I don't want to go on too many times. tangents, but, like, I feel like that happens with a lot of TV shows. What do you mean? That, like, they have a very, like, rabid fan base.

Yeah. And they love it. But, like, for whatever reason, the network, like, moves the time slot too much or just keeps messing with it or just decides outright to cancel it. Yeah. And then... It's so frustrating. Yeah.

I mean, Futurama has come back, like, three times. Well, that should die. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, the militia. Your army grows. Your army grows. Rise.

I know. Rise, hoes. Rise. No, I think, especially for shows that are a little different, you know, the executives, they're all about the money. And I think if you're chasing money, then you go the safest route. You go for what's already working, and we replicate that. At least that's the way I think people think sometimes.

Even though I don't think that's actually the way to make big money, I think you do have to take some swings. You absolutely have to take a chance on new types of shows. You have to take a chance on the Cuban band leader who's sleeping around, even though you have the super unpopular opinion that cheating is wrong, right, Norm? I know cheating is wrong, but damn, he's charming. But I guess this is a little different because critics, so you said critics. Initially, weren't that into it. Initially, critics weren't into it.

Philip Morris, Mr. Cigarette Man, was not into it. Uh-huh. But the viewership was very high. So it's funny. The studio audience loved it.

So that tells you something. One in nine Americans tuned in. Yeah. That's huge. It's absolutely huge. Yeah. I feel like Lucy and Desi

knew America. They knew what Americans would like. God, there's a certain timelessness and am I about to make up a word universality? Universality? You know what I mean. You don't have to look it up. People know. People know what I'm getting at. There's so much physical humor and I love Lucy and there's such a simplicity to everything. I mean, to the sets to, you know, there aren't a ton of characters on there that almost anyone can watch it and understand what's going on, and almost anyone can watch it and be in on the joke.

And so, yeah, it doesn't surprise me that this took off with audiences. And you can tune in to any episode and not be lost. That's true, yeah. You don't have to follow who's this, what's that, why are they doing that? Because each episode was its own contained plot, right? Episodic, yeah. Supersonic. Super Sonic.

That's for your fans. Are you referring to Sonic the Hedgehog? I am. When he turns into Super Sonic and he turns yellow. I'm afraid I am, yes. You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Listen, I'm just picturing coins, okay? Sonic collected rings, not coins.

Oh, God, okay. Mario collected coins. Listen, I'm just the gaming historian's wife, okay? I just sleep with the guy, all right? The knowledge is not sexually transmittable. Imagine if it was. That'd be great. Every time we banged, you're like,

So Shigeru Miyamoto considered Mario an athletic type game. Incredible. What would you take from me? What knowledge would I impart to you? How to get my skin looking real good. I haven't figured that out myself. I'd be an incredible writer. Oh, thank you, darling.

In fact, I just wrote you a poem. If we listen to each other's hearts. Oh, God. Powerline again? My God. You never know when power line will come in handy. You never know when you'll need to bust out a power line song. So this show became so popular that it changed how people lived.

So it aired every Monday at 9 p.m. Eastern. And every Monday at 9 p.m. Eastern, telephone calls dipped. Water usage went down. Stores closed. They put up signs that. that read, We Love Lucy, too. That's so cool.

Isn't that wild? Yeah, that's big time right there. Well, I mean, these were the days of appointment television. So, yeah, everyone's doing this one thing right now. Mm-hmm. And if you miss it, you're screwed. Because reruns haven't been invented yet. I'm thinking of that Black Mirror episode where the prime minister fucks the pig.

Yes. He didn't want to just in case anybody wants to. But everyone tuned in. to watch it. Yeah. And while that was happening, the bad guys who were behind the whole thing, like, got away or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because they had, like, they had, like, kidnapped the princess's ransom or something, yeah. Which is the plot to a lot of Mario games. And I know that because I had sex with the gaming historian. That's right. And they said, Mario, we're not giving you princess peach back unless you fuck this pig. And Mario said, but that's Kermit's girl. Mario said, okay-to-key.

You know, if this podcast doesn't work out, I think we've got a career in fan fiction. And then he... Oh, good God. That should be edited out for sure. This podcast is disgusting. It really is. People tuned in for an I Love Lucy show thing. Yeah, this is horrible.

Anyway. Like I said, last episode, Destined to Fail, the old-timey podcast. Wow, Norm, don't do that. Sponsors and network executives had been convinced that no one would want to watch an interracial couple on screen, but they'd been wrong, wrong, wrong. And what's so interesting is that rather than try to make Ricky's character more palatable to an audience that would supposedly be so devastated that he wasn't white, instead, the show reminded you that he was Cuban. He sang Cuban songs. When Ricky got angry, he'd go off on a rant in Spanish, which was something that Desi really did when he was angry. Spoke super fast.

Yeah. That episode we watched the other day, the Vita Mehta Vegerman. Yeah, he went on a few rants in Spanish. Yeah, it was funny. I Love Lucy was heartwarming and goofy and timeless, and it quickly became the number one show on TV. I just realized I went too fast there because you, You were talking about Desi going off in Spanish. Yeah.

I am just so blown away knowing all the opposition they got. And I think the natural thing when all these people are telling you, all these supposedly very smart people are telling you, oh, this is not going to be a hit. You know, this. And the problem is you. The problem is you and your race. Yeah. And you're singing and you're drumming and, oh, we can't understand you. All this stuff.

you would think that the thing to do when you're scared is try to downplay the things that people are saying are your flaws, you know? You know, hire a coach to alter his accent. You know, definitely not have him sing Cuban songs. You know, don't give them the last name Ricardo. But the show leaned into it. And I love that. I just feel like that was such a brave. really cool choice and way braver than a lot of the stuff you would see on TV for decades to come.

Now, there's a lot that's very traditional about the show. Of course. Very like, oh, you're watching you go, oh, God. You know. It's a show of the Times still. Sure, sure. And even a show that was in a way behind the Times a little just because Lucy was playing a housewife when a lot of women were. You know, either they'd already been in the workforce or they were entering the workforce.

World War II changed a lot of that. Yeah. I'm hoping that you start caring about more. The workforce? World War II. Oh, no, never going to happen. That first season, they shot 35 episodes in 35 weeks. That is insane.

And actually, I remember we were browsing the episodes on Paramount Plus. You can watch I Love Lucy on Paramount Plus. way, which is who owns CBS and whatever. But yeah, when we were browsing, I was like, holy crap, season one was, yeah, 35 episodes. It's ridiculous. Yes. When I think of like a season of a TV show, 10 episodes, 12. I can't imagine how overwhelming that would be.

It would just be like, I imagine it just be like a marathon. And your focus is just like, well, I can't change my pace. Just keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. Even just the writing alone. I'm glad you mentioned that. Because I mentioned earlier that the writers had purchased that manual that was supposed to teach them how to write for television. Yeah, writing television for dummies. They were so busy writing the number one show for TV that they didn't have time to read that manual.

So, hey, trial by fire. You'll learn as you go. Yeah. The show became so big, so fast in this new, intimate. medium that in an effort to take some pressure off of themselves, Madeline and Bob posted a sign in the writer's room that read, it's just a show. It was just a show, but it was also, as I said earlier, the creation of appointment television. The show was so far ahead of its time. Lucille Ball at 40 years old, a woman who never quite made it as a big movie star, established herself as an

undeniable comedic genius and an incredible actress. In that first season, we got Vitamita Vegerman, where she did one of the hardest things an actor can do, which is act drunk. She was so good. Yeah. She played every angle of that. You see her going through the kind of like, hmm, happy, charming and then trying to straighten up.

My favorite is like, I think it's like a stage hand comes up. Uh-huh. and says something, and she just, like, stares at him. Yes. She's like a shorter man. Yes. And she just, like, stares at him for, like, a minute straight. It was so funny.

It's, it's incredible. It's incredible. The wild thing is that Desi and Lucy went into that first season, hoping to just do okay. Instead, they were a smashing success. It was incredible. Smashing. It was doing what Lucy had always hoped. would do. It brought her family together. Lucy and Desi's mothers attended every taping. Lucy's

mother, Didi, even had her hair dyed red, and she loved to talk to reporters before each show, and they'd ask her about... Wait a minute. She dyed her hair red. I know. It's too much. Like Didi Pickles? What? Oh, my God. Didi Pickles had red hair. Oh, my God. This is blowing my mind. Okay, well, I thought you were going to talk about how it is kind of crinchy that she was like trying to get in on this. but no, no, you're talking about Dedy Pickles from the Rugrats. From Rugrats. Excellent. Lucy hired her cousin, Cleo, to work on the show and Cleo's new husband to handle their PR.

Lucy and Desi worked together, and they worked together really well. She was the star of the show, and he was the star of the business. They wrapped up season one on top of the world. They experienced a level of fame and adoration that Lucy could never have imagined. When she dreamt of being an A-list actress, she thought, you know, people would admire her. But as Lucy Ricardo, she was a lovable underdog. She was in people's living rooms, making them laugh. And people truly loved her.

But Lucy didn't know what to do with that level of success. It's kind of all new to her. Yeah. And she didn't trust it. She thought about her childhood. The happiest times they'd had were when they'd. they were all living together in that little house in Celeron, and it had all vanished. And now, Lucy had everything she'd ever wanted, and she was terrified.

Did she have any kind of imposter syndrome going on? Or was she, like, pretty confident that, like, she was the bee's knees? It was just she was scared, like, it would all get taken away. I don't think it's accurate to say she thought she was the bee's knees. I think she was confident, but also as confident as you can be when you're part of a team, you know? And you want to make sure everyone, okay, if you're writing that script, it better be a damn good script. Because I'm the one who has to say the lines. And, you know, she would rehearse and rehearse and rehearse.

Like nobody's business. I mean, she always did her homework. So she wasn't like arrogant, like, oh, I don't need to put in the time. She definitely put in the time. Well, that's not what I'm talking about. Yeah. I'm referring to like imposter syndrome of you don't think you deserve the success. Like you're a phony.

I don't think she thought that. I just think she thought that it could all go away. She was thinking about things that had happened in her past, how it like went away in an instant. And she was worried this would happen to her again. Yeah. And in her mind, you know, when Warner Erickson was shot on her family's property and her grandpa Hunt was held liable. Yeah.

Which, you know, again, in my personal opinion, that's how it should have been. But still, it was devastating for the family. And Lucy always viewed that as her grandfather had been totally wronged and everything had been taken from them. Yeah, I lost the house and all that. Yeah. Yeah. What would stop something like that from happening to her? now that she had everything she'd ever wanted. So she's dealing with these thoughts, dealing with these fears, and she sought out the help of a therapist.

It's possible she did that based on a recommendation from Vivian Vance. Vivian Vance was one of the few people in the 1950s who spoke openly about mental illness because five years earlier she'd suffered something called a nervous collapse. Who knows what we'd call that today? But she was very open about the fact that therapy had helped her work through that. Panic attack. Honestly, probably so. I mean a nervous collapse. Yeah, that sounds like a panic attack to me.

So Lucy went to a psychiatrist and she went to Norman Vincent Peel. Are you familiar with him? No. He was the author of The Power of Positive Thinking. Oh. I believe he had a church in New York where he would do like kind of the prosperity gospel thing. Yeah. So, eh.

But she went to him and told him she had this fear that she'd lose everything she'd built. But he told her that success is in you. Even if all of this goes away, you can build it back up because that success is inside of you. It comes from within. This was not an accident. Yeah. You earned this. You built this.

You can build it again. Yeah. He told her that and she broke down sobbing. It's powerful words. Inspirational. And I think it says a lot that she heard that and sobbed. To me, it shows that she didn't believe that. Or that was a brand new thing someone was saying to her.

There are moments in your life when you hear something like a phrase or a phrase or saying or just some sort of insight and it just really connects with you in a certain way and you like never forget it. I read that anecdote in, I think that's in Kathleen Brady's book, and I was sobbing. I completely relate to, yeah, you build this thing and you convince yourself, this is my only success. This is it. I can never have any more success.

I'm done. and this idea that like, no, no, you did that thing, you can do this next thing, you can do this other thing. Are you referring to something? Yes. Shut up. You know what I'm saying. So that's why you were sobbing. I thought you were watching Survivor or something.

I have cried watching Survivor, but that's none of your concern. No, I've cried a lot researching Lucille. I know, I know. There's just a lot of stuff that is. I've come down to your office to just, you know, like, hey, what do you want to do for lunch? And you'll just have tears in your eyes. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you could relate to maybe some of the things Lucille Ball was experiencing. Absolutely. And, you know, there's so much in this story, as we will see, as it concludes, that, like, it's about building up and having something that looks really great and then having it fall apart, you know? and that's really like powerful and sad and I think there are lessons in like how to handle it and how not to handle it which we'll definitely see in future episodes. Desi come on dude but also Lucy come on dude. Really? A bit, yeah.

But anyway, that's future episodes. You're jumping ahead, sir. So, you know, she sought out help. She's getting some of that reassurance she needs. Yeah. And a while later, it was time to start season two of I Love Lucy. And then it looked like she really was going to lose it all. Oh?

Lucy was pregnant. Oh. Well, you could write that into the show, right? What? Excuse the fuck out of me? Do what now? Yeah, Lucy and Ricky have a baby. Sir, Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds as all.

married couples do. I love that this is your reaction. Well, I'm thinking back to the Vitamita Vegimen episode. They had one big bed. No. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, they did.

No, sir. No, sir, they did not. Yes, ma'am. Okay, we're going to watch that. Roll the tape. Get on that $10 tear. You can watch the tape. Okay, so Lucy was pregnant.

Yeah. And that was great. You know, they wanted children, but it was also really inconvenient. Lucy knew how things worked. If an actress got pregnant, she got fired. And this meant that everyone on the show was going to lose their jobs. Because they couldn't just hire someone. So they would just can an entire successful show because Lucille Ball is pregnant.

That's crazy. Could you keep your pants on? Yeah. Keep them on, buddy. I'm predicting there's no fucking way they're going to cancel the most successful television show of all times. It'd be ridiculous to even think of that, wouldn't it? Yeah. Okay, let's see what happens.

So Lucy and Desi go to Jess Oppenheimer. Yeah. And, you know, it sounds like they were like teenagers going in with their heads down like, Lucy's pregnant, sorry. I mean, he's an intimidating guy. He developed the atom bomb. Okay. Is that joke getting old?

Yes! I do not appreciate jokes about atom bombs, sir. It's a joke about, you know, they share the last name and the guy made the atom bomb, but also produced, I love Lucy. That's the joke. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And also, atom bombs are so funny. No.

Ha, ha, ha. Nope. Anyway, Jess Oppenheimer said something kind of wild. He said another atom bomb joke. He said, now I. become death destroyer of worlds. What? Is that what the guy said?

Allegedly. Okay. In a later interview, Robert Oppenheimer claimed, after they tested the first atom bomb, he said, now I am become death, destroyer of worlds. No, you didn't. I was like, there's no fucking way he said that on the spot. No. That's like a, yeah, that's like something he added later on.

Absolutely. No way in hell he said that. You know, it would be really cool if I said this. And so, yeah, I think in that interview, he added that in. Yeah. None of us believe it, sir. Yeah. It's kind of like a legendary part of...

Of course it is, because it's a great quote and, oh, what a moment. But, you know. And he didn't even come up with the quote. It's from some old religious book or something. It's called the Bible. He plagiarized. Wow. So Jess said something kind of wild.

He was like, no, no, no, no, no. We don't have to go off the air. Pregnancy's a part of life. Why not make it part of Lucy Ricardo's life? See? Okay, okay, yes. You're making that face like you're a genius, and you and Jess Oppenheimer are geniuses together.

That's right. I'm a successful executive at CBS. You don't want to be part of that group. I don't? No. What Jess Oppenheimer was suggesting was absurd. Until this point, no one had ever been, visibly pregnant on television.

It was too scandalous. Look, Kristen. Fucking ridiculous. There's always got to be a first, okay? Think about the guy that put cheese on a hamburger. People probably thought he was fucking crazy, and then they realized how delicious it was. This is the thing Norman goes back to

whenever there's a new iteration of anything. Think of the cheeseburger. Just think of all the great ideas in history. Earl of Sandwich creating the sandwich Are you making things up? Sometimes No, the guy that invented the sandwich Was the Earl of Sandwich

Shut up Are you making that up? No, I'm not Future topic Will you make me a sandwich for that episode? Yeah Seems only fair. You know, in the bonus episode

I made you a monkey gland cocktail You sure did. Do you want to tell the people What happened? Oh, when I got all anxious about it? I drink, Norman doesn't This drink was very strong. It had three drops of absinth in it.

And I took like a couple sips and normal was like, well, stop drinking it. I thought I had poisoned and killed my wife, basically. And yet here I sit. So I highly recommend you get on that Patreon so you can listen to the monkey gland episode. It's very fun. Yeah. If you haven't heard someone talk about testicles for three hours.

You're missing out. Yeah, because you obviously want to hear that. Yeah. So $5 on Patreon, that'll get you there. All right. This ad is adjourned. So Jess Oppenheimer went to CBS and was like, hey, I know the idea of a married woman being pregnant is incredibly scandalous. I mean, I'm about to cry just thinking about it.

But hear me out. It's disgusting. Oh, I know, Norm. Yeah. What if, since this is the number one show on television? Yeah, you have so much leverage. We just go ahead and keep making it. Yeah.

And instead of trying to act like she isn't pregnant, we instead write it into the show. And the CBS executives whose buttholes were just as tight as they could be. Sniff my butthole. We're like Lucy Ricardo. Pregnant? How would we even explain it? The Ricardo sleep in separate beds. I swear they had one big bed in that episode.

They absolutely did not, Norm. Roll the motherfuckin' team. They had twin beds, separate beds. separated by a nightstand. I promise you. Oh, I can't wait. Oh, I can't wait to show you are so wrong. I can't wait to roll the tape.

Anyway, so CBS is saying, uh-uh, uh, no way. But once again, Desi stepped in. He went to Philip Morris. Explain the situation, told them about the idea to write Lucy's pregnancy into the show. Yeah. And the Philip Morris execs were like, No, gross. Showing a pregnant woman on TV.

That's disgusting. Are you okay, Kristen? Oh, that's part of the bit. Okay. Yeah. I'm surprised they weren't like, absolutely. Just make sure she is smoking in every scene. Because smoking is perfectly fine for pregnant women.

Yes. In fact, it's good for the fetus. Makes the baby nice and strong. So Desi, master needs. negotiator told the Philip Morris guys, hey, fine, no big deal, no big deal. You don't want us to do the pregnancy storyline? Okay. You don't want us to, you don't want to help us put pressure on CBS? No big deal. Just stop being our sponsor. Stop sponsoring the number one show on television. And the head of Philip Morris caved. He wrote a letter to the CBS executives and it read,

don't fuck with the Cuban Did it really? Yeah Don't fuck with the Cuban And just like that Lucy Ricardo got pregnant Yeah it makes complete sense

It's crazy that they would even consider that like Yeah we're just gonna pull the show Right That's insane It's also ridiculous that like I think what CBS would have also wanted Because I mean they don't want to lose

The number one show on TV But you know they want Well can you have her heart? holding a box, can you hide her? And it's like, have you ever watched this show? She's a very physical performer. And we're supposed to pretend she's not pregnant. Give me a break. Yeah. So Lucy Ricardo is pregnant. Except, oh my God. Oh my God. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not pregnant. Definitely not pregnant. You couldn't say the P word on TV in those days. Instead, she was expecting, expecting everyone to be a pussy about the word pregnant. They couldn't say the word

pregnant? No, they couldn't. Why? Honestly, I don't know. It was one of those things, you know, just seeing a pregnant woman, oh my gosh, it makes us realize she has had sex and, oh, now I want to have sex. Now we're all having sex. And now we're saying the word pregnant, which is a terrible word. They all signed those dare pledges. That's right. We are not having sex. CBS hired a minister, a priest, and a rabbi to go over and approve... It sounds like a joke. I know. It's not.

They all walk into a bar. What happens next? And they can't say the word pregnant. No, they hired a minister, a priest, and a rabbi to go over and approve every script that dealt with Lucy's pregnancy. Man, so they were little snowflakes, huh? Basically. Hmm. The episodes dealing with Lucy's pregnancy aren't just groundbreaking. They aren't even just funny.

They're touching. In episode 10 of season two, Lucy reveals her pregnancy to Ricky. Okay, so the plot of that episode is essentially that Lucy's trying to tell Ricky that she's pregnant, but he's so busy working at the club that she just can't get a chance to tell him. Yeah. So the only way to tell him is to slip him a note in the middle of his act, saying that there's a couple who's about to have a baby and that they're in the club right now.

So Ricky reads the note aloud and he goes around to the different tables asking each couple, you know, is it you? Is it you? And everybody's, no, no, no, no. And then he gets to Lucy's table and she nods. And the way the scene was written, he was supposed to just be over-the-top joyful, so happy.

Oh, my God, we're having a baby. They were both supposed to be happy, happy, happy, and then lead the whole audience in the song, We're having a baby. But instead, when Desi got that note and he went to each table and he paused in front of his real life wife, all he could think about were the years and years that they'd spent desperately wanting a baby. and he was so overcome with emotion that he couldn't play the scene as written. Instead, tears welled up in his eyes and tears welled up in Lucy's eyes. And the studio audience cried.

Their moms were in the studio crying. And the song didn't come out joyful. It came out emotional. They did retake the scene because it was so the opposite of what they'd intended. Yeah. But the scene that actually aired was their first take. Jess Oppenheimer demanded it.

That take was real. It had heart. And the audience felt it. He's earning that 20%. Oh, yeah. He seems to have good instincts. If you have not seen that, you've got to. Season 2, episode 10.

Oh, I was crying. I'll have to check it out. I have not seen that episode. I was thinking about having you watch it beforehand, before I told you this story. I know, I was thinking about it, but then I was like, no, I kind of want him to know the real story behind it. That'd be like if I was making you monkey gland cocktails every night. Oh, that would be a problem. One logistical problem that the executives were worried about was.

that obviously Lucy would need to take maternity leave. But what would they air in the meantime? Flintstones. No, that was the competition. Since Lucy and Desi owned the film negatives, they realized that they could rerun some of their old shows. A rerun. So that's what they did.

And in doing that, they invented the rerun. Can you believe that? That's pretty incredible. It's crazy. Also the name of Linus' little brother in Peanuts. Thank you so much for that. I was just about to say it. Were you?

No. A huge Peanuts fan here, by the way. Huge penis fan over here, by the way. Don't I know it? Okay. I'm about to bust. Over the course of the second season, they had fun with the pregnancy, and the audience became really invested in this real-slash-fake couple

and their real slash fake baby, and that presented kind of a weird, fun opportunity. Lucy was going to give birth, and they knew that she was going to have a C-section, and they figured, hang on a second. Wait, they ain't going to film this, huh? No, no, no, no. But, I mean, it's up there.

They figured that C-section is scheduled for a Monday. The show airs on Monday. We could have Lucille Ball and Lucy Ricardo give birth on the same day. And that's what they did. It was wild and cool and completely groundbreaking

and so exciting for the audience. This feels like influencer shit. What happened? What do you mean what happened? What do you mean? They both gave birth? So wait, they filmed and then she went to the hospital?

Is that what you're saying? No, they filmed as much as they could. And then they did some reruns and stuff, but like, I love Lucy aired every Monday, and they knew she was scheduled for a C-section on a Monday, so they knew they could write that episode and do it to air on that Monday. Oh, I see. So they had already filmed it.

Yeah. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. I was confused. No, this wasn't like reality TV. Yeah, I thought they were literally going to, like, film her C-section, and I was just like, whoa. Yeah, they go from, you can't say the word pregnant on TV to now they're filming a C-section. We put on a show last night.

Oh, my gosh. And it was like, this program contains graphic scenes of surgery, fewer discretion advised. And we're like, okay. You know, we see those warnings all the time. I was just like, whatever. And then literally the first frame, the next frame is like someone getting their stomach cut open. And I was like, nope. It was horrifying.

Yep. Backed out of that real quick. Yep. So this was a bit of a tough thing for the writers, but they were like, well, let's make Lucy Ricardo have a boy. and wouldn't it be cool if Lucille Ball gives birth to a boy? And lo and behold, on January 19th, 1953, Lucille Ball gave birth to Desi Jr. And Lucy Ricardo gave birth to Little Ricky.

Little Ricky, yeah. More than 90% of people who had a TV watched that episode. In other words, 44 million people watched that groundbreaking episode. of I Love Lucy. And the next day, Dwight D. Eisenhower was sworn in as president, and 29 million people tuned in to watch his inauguration. Ooh. Souck on that! Take that.

Dwight. Ike. He was an interesting guy, future topic. You know, something kind of cute that they said. I like Ike, but I love Lucy. Oh. Yeah, because, you know. I get it.

Mm-hmm. Well, that was his presidential campaign. Yeah, those are on all the pins. I like Ike. Yeah. When Desi Arnaz was in the hospital and he found out that Lucy had given birth to a little boy, he was overcome with joy. He said, now we have everything. And it seemed for a while like they did.

In next week's episode, Lucille Ball loses almost everything she's worked for when she's accused of being a communist. A communist? Yep. Grandpa Fred. Probably the worst thing you could ever be accused of. We all agree, Norm. Wow. Okay. This is a real roller coaster of a topic. Yeah, it really is. What'd you think of all that?

Man, I had no idea. There were so many revolutionary things happening with this show. Like, I knew I Love Lucy was like a huge hit. Oh, of course. And I knew it was like created the modern sitcom. but I had no... Did I say sitcom? That's what I had... That's gross. We were both about to provide a definition.

We are nasty people. Yeah. I Love Lucy created the modern sitcom. But I had no idea it was like, oh yeah, made multi-camera shows popular. Oh, yeah. Flat lighting. Oh, yeah. Reruns.

Oh, yeah. Let's film it and not do it live. Incredible. Let's put a... pregnant woman on TV and not put a box in front of her stomach. Yeah. Rewatching Seinfeld when Julia Lewis Dreyfus was pregnant in like season seven or something. Yeah.

The outfits she was in was ridiculous trying to hide her pregnancy. And I remember thinking like it would actually be a funny plot line if Elaine was pregnant. Oh, for her to be a really bad mom. Yeah. She would be a really bad mom. Yeah, if, like, putty got her pregnant. That would have been hilarious. It would.

It would. Yeah, but anyway, incredible stuff. And now I want to watch I Love Lucy. Yeah, I really want to watch that season two episode 10 with you. And I want to rewatch the Vitamita Veggment episode and prove to you that they had one big bed in that scene. Prepare to be so wrong and so sorry. Am I going to have a mistake? I hope you do.

Now I'm a little panicked because I'm like, 35 episodes is a lot in one season. Maybe they did switch to one bed, but I don't think they did. I feel like watching that. You know, maybe I was a little loopy that night. I just finished taping garbage bags to our shower. And the fumes from the duct tape were really affecting me. Don't make people jealous of our high-class lifestyle. Yes, folks, we're having shower trouble.

Yeah. Okay. So last week I mentioned we had a leak in our shower. I found the problem. It's the tile. It's failing. Uh-huh. So that's not a quick little fix.

I got the idea to tape garbage bags to the tile to kind of like waterproof it. This is our only shower, by the way, obviously. It's like a temporary measure. Uh-huh. And it's not working, unfortunately. It's working as well as you might. think it would work. Yeah, so, yeah, we'll figure something out. I think gym memberships are in our future.

Yeah, what's funny is, so I initially taped two garbage bags to the shower and it didn't work. And then yesterday I was like, wait a minute, what if I did three garbage bags and I thought it worked, it didn't. Anyway, get on that Patreon. We need bathroom remodering money. No, we're just, we're just teasing. We just like sharing our shower experience. And that's at the $15 level on Patreon. Our shower experience. Well, you said sharing our shower experience.

I was like, oh, my. Oh, man, yesterday I took the fastest shower of my life. You really, you were in and out. It was all business. And you know what I'm talking about. The business areas of the body. Oh, God. I mean, you do normally take a nice, long, luxurious shower, but not when the tile is failing.

George Carlin had a bit about, you know, the business areas of when you wash. Asshole, armpits, crotch, and teeth. I mean, he's not wrong. That's it. Yeah, okay. Well, on that note. So next week, communism. Communism.

The greatest enemy of the United States. Oh, absolutely. No question. Yeah. We didn't get into a big tift over nothing there. Speaking of, I know you don't really care about World War II, but I figured I'd mention this. We were so scared of communism that when World War II was coming to an end, General Patton, are you familiar with General Patton? Yes.

Yeah. After the German army was definitely on its way to defeat, General Patton was like, now let's attack the Russians. Let's just keep going. Wow. Yeah. And, you know, they were allies in the war to defeat Nazi Germany. But yeah, Patton was like, yeah, now let's fucking attack. the Russians because of communism.

Good grief. Didn't have enough war? Had to get some more. War, uh, what is it good for? I want some more, uh. We'll probably cut all this. Should we wrap up this exciting, fantastic episode of an old-timey podcast? Okay, you don't have to go all out like that.

But yeah, it was fun, wasn't it? Yeah. Everyone, thank you for listening. Next week we have an exciting new episode featuring commies. If you're enjoying the podcast, please rate and review us. It helps us out a lot because we're just a new little show being all cute. That's right. Five stars, please.

Well, I would even accept four stars. No, please, five stars. Kristen, you know what they say about history, hoes. We always cite our sources. Oh, that's right. For this episode, I got my information from the book Love Lucy by Lucille Ball, the documentary Lucy and Desi, the Plot Thicken's podcast from Turner Classic Movies,

and the book, The Life of Lucille Ball by Kathleen Brady. That's all for this episode. Thank you for listening to an old-timey podcast. Please give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. And until next time, Tudaloo, Tata, and Cheerio!