And That's Why We Drink - E108 The Kings of Banter and a Mummified Lemon

Episode Date: February 24, 2019

If this plane goes down, don’t tell our mothers we were in group 8! We were home from tour long enough to record this week and are already back on the road to the Pacific Northwest and FREAKING CANADA! We also catch up on topics from Valentine's Day to hot sauce to voodoo, so buckle up. We do eventually tell some epic stories from our favorite live shows that didn't initially get recorded including Dear David and the murder of Viola Drath, aka the inspiration for the upcoming "The Worst Marriage in Georgetown"! We also introduce the newest member of the ATWWD family… a mummified lemon (named Lemon) Christine found under her bed in San Jose… and that’s why we drink! In Citrus and in Health! Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Get 15% off and free shipping on your first MeUndies purchase! Go to meundies.com/drink Get free shipping and free returns with no minimum on your Rothys order! Go to rothys.com and enter code DRINK Try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com/drink Get a free trial and 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain when you go to squarespace.com/drink

where my hoes at i'm right here hey guys we were just talking about how i was babysitting a child and we were uh hosing down the flowers outside in their front yard watering the flowers watering the flowers okay sorry just checking i don't know what's going on english isn't my first language shut up and uh i taught i taught him how to say where my hoes at i love that um no i don't his parents and i'm like i can't wait for you to have kids and i was like oh god you've already destroyed one of my children yeah and then when you have human children that one geo's just practice so we're really gonna you're doing a great job though go for the full destruction of your human children lord welcome back guys to us because we're back in los angeles for the first time in eight years a million years i think the last time we recorded he i think the when was the last time we recorded

it was like it was before all of our first week of january i think yeah so like a month and a half ago yeah the last episode i like travel back to like seven episodes ago when we were talking about how we were just about to go on tour yeah i mean that was the last time we recorded i know and uh here we are back in sunny los angeles after quite oh wait except for like only 10 hours and then we're gonna be in seattle just got an email from delta as we were recording ads time to check in um yeah and also my email from delta in case you're wondering is an uh confirmed upgrade for tomorrow so shut up christine you know for the people who haven't come to the live shows and heard all about this nightmare that is christine on a plane every single time we go on a flight

which is i don't know every five minutes these days christine is always fucking upgraded and eva and i are sitting in like 27 f together and all of a sudden we get pictures of christine is always fucking upgraded and eva and i are sitting in like 27 f together and all of a sudden we get pictures of christine with like mimosas and in the front and she's like i miss you i miss you guys though it's sad for me it's really hard for me i don't even remember if we ever told this story i don't think we've said it on an episode yet but do you would you like to tell your version of the uh listen i finally got upgraded at first i'll get upgraded to comfort class a lot which is great because it's free booze but not always first class and so i got upgraded to first class on our way to dallas and then our flight was delayed six hours and we were almost not going to make it to our shows so i like talked to delta

and they were like we'll put you on an american flight and i was like great and then they're like here's your ticket you're in group eight which like christy like christine really thought that she was gonna have like just the most luxurious royal event i was so excited and then all of a sudden she got put in group eight with me and eva by the way in a middle seat by the way middle seat and so as we're on the plane walking towards our seats i could see christine's eyes just like glaring at all the people in first class being like, you lucky sons of bitches. I just realized something. This was literally in our last, the live episode that we just posted.

Well, we're saying it again. Listen, you guys want to listen? And Christine the whole time was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I can't believe this. I have to be in group eight like a peasant. If this plane goes down, don't tell my mother where I was. I'm just kidding. Tell her it was group one.

I'm kidding. I just find it funny because it annoys them so much i just think it was hysterical and um i had a great time watching you in group eight also a lot of people are asking like why i get upgraded i'm like honestly i think it's just because when i was like four months old i was already flying to germany all the time right so like i've had delta sky mile since i was like an infant right and so now that we're literally flying like every and i have the credit card And we are truly flying at least what? Like seven times a month. Yeah.

At least. Yeah. At least. Yeah. And so now with the credit card too, it's like, well, I just rack them all up and sometimes I get a free mimosa.

So there you go. I don't know. Sounds like a good deal to me, but it's been a really awesome tour so far. It has been. For Seattle tomorrow. Yes. Super pumped for that.

This week. We're, I'm also going to Canada guys. That's right. This is the big to big to do i mean that's all i'm really there for i might be so excited i might not even remember to tell a story i might just stand up there in awe uh also this uh two days ago since we've been recording or i guess four days ago now it was valentine's day so happy belated valentine's day um what did you do for Valentine's Day? I wrote you a good poem. You did. You wrote something. You wrote something and you posted it for everyone to see. Yeah. I liked it a lot. What did you and Blaze do? Um, Blaze was working. So I edited our episode for the show. Are you doing anything for Valentine's Day with him

eventually? Today, maybe we will make some dinner together, but since we leave tomorrow, day with him eventually today maybe we will make some dinner together but since we leave tomorrow not too much time but yeah no we had a good time we um we uh we made dinner together the night before and watched uh king of the hill word super romantic i know you guys had a big uh to do yesterday yes we had uh well so we had valentine's day and we didn't really do anything because my i have a lot to catch you up on but basically my mom was in town for a week right before Valentine's Day. Right. And so when she showed up like the day after we came back from all of our shows. Right.

So we really didn't have any, I didn't have any time to just relax because as soon as my, I got home, my mom was here. So I wouldn't make sure she was having fun. That was the day I left town too. Yeah. So it's been a wild ride emotionally. So I think for Valentine's day, I, we just sat down. Oh, that's nice. And then, um, we don't really get to sit down anymore.

No, it's really, I mean, we're sitting down right now, but I mean, you know, mentally, mentally, we never get to sit down. We're not sitting down. And, uh, we were like screaming and running up mountains and trying to get shit done. And so then we had the Valentine's day's day um we had valentine's day and then the next day her allison and i were getting ready all day for our housewarming party that you came to that was a blast thank you beautiful thank you i appreciate that um so it's just been a wild ride so yesterday happened to also be the day if you, so we're recording this right now on

February 18th. Correct. Which if you remember three, two years ago today, our third episode came out. If you think I remember anything from two years ago. I know you don't. That's why I'm saying it. Okay. Two years ago today was the episode that released where I heard Allison's name for the first

time. You know how I know that? Cause you posted it all over the internet. Yes. I saw that. Which means based on how we used to record... You're such a psycho. We would record... No, you're a psycho, because we used to record, and then the next day, you would spend all day editing it and release it.

Yeah, well, because the episodes were also six hours that we recorded, so... Yikes. Which means yesterday, two years ago, was the first time I ever saw her picture. Aww. Because you showed me her picture. Right, right, right. That's true, because we recorded the day before. So instead of Valentine's Day, we celebrated we celebrated that of like two years of knowing each other that's precious or at least i knew her she didn't really know me yet but um i remember

seeing her picture with you and being like christine i need to meet her yes so i was like stop creeping on my friends you pervert and then two years later it was yesterday so i took her on a whole surprise date and we woke up at like nine in the morning and from nine in the morning to like midnight i had things planned for her and that was the day after your party so yeah that was quite quite a lot to do well so we went to all of our favorite spots we actually we ran into someone who recognized me at donut friend i think her name was kate and um she was very nice and then when we went inside allison got recognized they thought that someone thought she was an actress wait then when we went inside allison got recognized they thought that

someone thought she was an actress wait for real yeah so allison didn't get recognized but her face got recognized that's amazing so we both got recognized in like five seconds actress i don't know oh that's cool but anyway we had it yesterday was a very busy day but oh my god a lot to catch you up on yeah um well i was in new orleans for a while tell me everything about it it was super great blaze knighted kind of like a because i guess that was sort of our valentine's it was like a pre-valentine yeah that sounds like a valentine's day to me um and so for christmas blaze surprised me with tickets to new orleans and like uh we stayed in a haunted hotel and did you see anything do you feel anything i didn't well there was one night where we both i kept waking up like every

hour and i there was one night where i was so scared like i don't know what happened but i was so scared that i like refused to open my eyes because i was like i don't want to see anything and apparently so the hotel is called the omni royal i think and um right in french quarter and so i had to pee but there was this there's this like ghost maid that supposedly like oh shit by your bed at night and like tucks you in and so i woke up at like 4 a.m and i was like around three and i was so scared that i walked to the bathroom with like my hand over my eyes and i was like trying to pee with like i would have just slept with the lights on that i'm tired and then the next morning and i all night that night had like the most horrific brutal violent nightmares like no way to the point that i woke up crying like three times and then the next morning blaze looks like we're both just

like a mess and i'm like how did you sleep last night and he's like god like i had just the worst nightmares of my life and i was like really what happened i mean it's probably something like we ate or like all the hurricanes we drank but so that was like kind of a rough night, but the rest of it was absolutely great. We didn't see anything there, but we did go on a ghost tour. Obviously like the second we got there, I was like, okay, let's go. Yeah. And we went on a ghost tour and we saw the LaLaurie mansion, which he says, he's said it's pronounced LaLaurie, but whatever.

Well, we've been fucking it up for since episode 19. He's like, Oh, here's like, we're going to see the see the lalory mansion i was like you mean lalory he was like no oh yikes there's so many people who have been wanting to correct us for so long and they were like in time they'll learn i was like well i'm not gonna change it because i can't like my brain it's too late it's too late so we went there it was really fucking creepy apparently you're not allowed to walk underneath the overhang. Like no people cross the street because it's just. So haunted? Yeah.

Like I guess it's like cursed or whatever. And he said like he had one tour where he walked a guy and his kids. He walked his kids under there just to be like, ha ha. Oh no. And he and his wife walked through and then the guy just like fucking fell over and had a seizure. And they had to call 911. Oh shit. And he was like, uh, and he's like, that's real. Like, I don't know if he, and he like didn't have a medical condition or anything and shit like that. So we were like, let's avoid.

So the whole time we were walking around New Orleans, I had that pinned. I was like, I don't want to accidentally turn the corner and walk out of this stupid building. I had it pinned. Maybe everyone in New Orleans does. Apparently people were avoiding it like crazy and then um oh so then our tour guide at the end of course i had you couldn't fucking want this is the coolest city of my life you can wander around with just booze in your hand everywhere on the streets called christine land it's called my hometown now like you know you're from canada

it's new germany yes yes it's new germany and um yes how i'm from canada exactly you're from new orleans got it and so we're wandering around drinking during this ghost tour which like i can wander around on a fucking ghost tour and drink which is just the coolest thing it sounds like everything you've ever wanted yes and so i got my liquid courage in a little bit so by the end of the tour i went up and i was like hey so uh i have this podcast and poor blaze is like oh here we go and i was like so i have this podcast and um oh his name is oh, here we go. And I was like, so I have this podcast and, oh, his name is Bobby, by the way. And I said, oh, we're coming to New Orleans in September. By the way, guys, we're coming to New Orleans in September.

And I'd really like to have some suggestions of anything like creepy that you, you know, because he said his family has lived there for like three centuries. Oh, shit. Insane. Well, I probably, that's probably wrong. And he's probably listening. If that's the case, though, like it would be a crime to ever leave. 1870s.

So that's not quite three centuries. In American math, it is. In our math, it's whatever we want it to be. Maybe he said three generations. I don't know. Isn't America like not 300 years old? Yeah, but there's a lot happening down there sure I'm gonna just trust you well he said 1870s I think okay who knows um and so yeah he gave me

some suggestions and then he's like oh that's funny I actually showed a tour around last night like a private or I'm sorry I showed a podcast around last night privately and I was like oh which one and he's like I think they're called my brother my brother and me and I was like and then Christine dropped it and I screamed and Blaze was like, oh no. And I lost my mind because the next day we were going to their show in New Orleans. And I was like, this is just the best little like. You were fangirling. It was so cool. Cause I, then I looked it up and I'm like, there are so many tours in New Orleans on a Saturday night. So many tour guides. And just, I happen to have the one

who toured them the night before. It just felt very special. The universe wanted it to happen. Yeah, and also their show is great. Anyway, I feel like I'm just talking really fast because so much happened, but we did go to, we did a tour of the St. Louis Cemetery, number one, which is like their oldest cemetery, I believe, and it is the coolest thing ever. And Nicolas Cage, you talked about this, right?olas cage bought the lorre mansion yeah so he bought it and then um uh immediately the irs was like you owe 16 million dollars so he was like i don't have that right it was seized from him oh shit but he had also bought a fucking like mausoleum like a tomb in the fucking saint louis cemetery oh wow but since the irs can't

like i guess in louisiana or new orleans i'm not sure there's a law that the irs can't seize your final resting place so they like couldn't take his tomb so when you go through the saint louis cemetery it's like this gorgeous like old catholic cemetery with like beautiful architecture and like really old like crumble it like what you picture new your world and still look like and then there's fucking gigantic pyramid in the middle of it oh my god gigantic pyramid and they're like this is nicholas cage's oh no and there's this quote on it where he's like oh it goes back to my catholic roots no it's a quote from national treasure by the way i was gonna say i kind of hope it's from national treasure but i thought there's no way that that will happen like he should just own it but he pretends like it's is he considering himself the national treasure

i mean interesting i think we all know the answer to that but so that was just a really weird twist on that story that i heard that story that he bought the laurie mansion his all his shit went to hell he lost all his money and then we saw his tomb the next day so that was very cool anyway but it was really fun and awesome and i went into a little voodoo shop and cool got you something no way why don't why am i surprised every time i'm like i should have just expect that huh well so oh sorry this loud so i went to your housewarming thing and i brought i already brought alice in like um i got like coffee and stuff from cafe du monde so that's that but you don't really drink coffee anyway. No, but I did see it and it looked very nice. And so then for you, oh shit, sorry.

So this is just saying, cause I felt bad cause last time. What? Why are you bad? Well, cause when I went to, um, when I went to Belize, I feel like I didn't really understand that you liked hot sauce. And then now, oh, this is the place for hot sauce. And we went and I tried 46 hot sauces and pick my favorite. You,

you tried them with your mouth. Yes. They had a big, huge tasting place and I tried them all and they all have, Oh, shut up. They all have a, like kind of Louisiana or new Orleans names.

Oh, wow. Warning. Pretty hot. Oh wait. Okay. So this one, I'm Warning. Pretty hot. Oh, wait. Okay, so this one. I'm sorry. Is that why you got it?

On the label it says, not just for men. This is a welcoming, inclusive. Yes. It's called Bayou Love Potion number nine. I picked that one specifically for you. I love it. A pepper sauce.

Love a good pepper sauce. And then there's two more i'm missing something that's the bag for that one shit oh shit this one looks good this one's called hot party in your mouth sauce on bourbon street oh i like the little painting hot party in your mouth that's what they call me oh sorry i left all the price tags on didn't i and then i'm not looking and then this is oh i oh this I'm so glad I saw this one last. What's that one? So this one, it has a skeleton in an electric chair.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's a habanero sauce, which I'm very excited about. It's called Louisiana Execution. Okay. And it says, caught and convicted of stealing habaneros, sentenced to die in the electric chair. Fuck. Warning, habanero addiction could happen to you.

See, this is the thing is I had to pick ones that really tasted good, but also had really cool labels. So for sure. No, this is a process. And also I do like that you, you went through and got different types. Right. Right. I wanted to get a little variety.

And now that I know that you like hot sauce, cause I didn't know when I went to Belize and now I'm like, oh shit, I should have known. No, I, I, so there was a while, I think I brought it up last time, but there was a time where I like was actually studying like peppers and like Scoville scale. Yeah. And I was, uh, I was trying to, there was a whole kid on like, make your own hot sauce. And I was doing that. I was very, very into hot sauce for a very long time.

So those are really good. I tried them all. At least I really liked them and blazed it too. Very excited for this Louisiana execution. That's my favorite. That's like right down our alley. Also. Um, well, okay, so I have

something else for you from the voodoo shop, but in here, it's not in here, I think it's still in my suitcase, I'm gonna go grab it, but I did find lemon in here. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. Hang on. The lemon? The fucking lemon? Yeah. He was in there. Blaze got really mad, so I had to put him in there. Tell me what city he

has traveled from again? I don't remember. Where were we? It was. Oh, it was San Jose. That's the lemon from San Jose. Oh, my God. Okay. So nobody knows about.

Don't throw it away. Why? Give me a reason. Blaze. Throw it away. No. See, Blaze just came in to say throw it away. Not my leg.

Did you know this is still here? She brought it to fucking New Orleans. This thing is globetrotting and I don't like it. So for those of you who don't know what lemon is. I'm crying. We were in San Jose and we were staying in an Airbnb and Christine naturally, because all she does is read about true crime, decided that she was going to check under all the beds and in the closets and everything to make sure there wasn't a murderer in the Airbnb.

Especially in an Airbnb, you never know. While she was looking under the bed, while she was looking under a bed and she found a dried old, God knows how long this has been around lemon. Okay, it's underneath the bed. Guys, guys, hang on. Here's the, I'm putting the microphone by the table. Listen to this fucking lemon. It is rock. It is rock hard. Okay. The thing is, i looked under the bed and i was like what is that

and i got my flashlight on my phone and i was like that's a lemon so i crawled down there and indeed it was a lemon and i just think that's the funniest thing ever and so then i and so then she took a picture of it from her room and sent it to me and eva and then i texted her and said i'll venmo you 50 if you eat it and instead of eating it she befriended it which is so much worse because i did not offer that bet and uh so she's been carrying it around ever since she makes me laugh what is wrong with you she and then she literally brought it to new orleans with her i said it's rotten but it's not it's just mummified it really is like a bot like haunt it's a mummified that's literally it next on my horn

this is it i'm gonna hit it against my head just so you know how hard it is i don't know if you can hear it or not you can like instead of a clink that's what we're gonna do now just it's literally it's turned into a rock the lemon's my friend and i don't really understand why everyone has such a problem with it. It's such an odd friendship. Although it wasn't my purse, and then I accidentally pulled it out of the restaurant, and Blaze made me walk back to the hotel and put it in my suitcase. Well, he told me to put it in the trash.

You're a psychopath. He told me to put it in the trash, and I... I'm confused. Well, I did put it in the trash, but then I took it back out, remember? Because I felt bad. I have heard, and someone did tweet out about this, saying that if you put a lemon under your bed, apparently it's supposed to absorb it's like a it's like a well they didn't say under the bed they said in the corner of the room and people do that it's like a presentation

like put citrus in the room not under the bed though like i think that was just dropped there no the one like the one that said that like it like absorbs negative energy oh because it's like i think people say that like if you keep it in the room it absorbs but i don't think like if you roll one in the bed i think it's like i'm i'm gonna that like, if you keep it in the room, it absorbs, but I don't think like if you roll one in the bed, I think it's like, I'm going to let that be the answer to this. So it makes some sense. Cause that means he's full of negative energy and I can tell he's a good, good lemon. Oh my goodness.

Anyway, that didn't, I didn't mean for that to be a thing. Um, let me grab the last gift. Sorry. Real quick. Okay. Well, I can't find it. Um, I honest to God, that is real voodoo i mean it just disappeared i just christine just paused the recording to go find it and i watched her run across her entire

house trying to find it in different rooms and it's nowhere to be found i don't know where it is even blaze helped me look for it i think i mean i guess i'll tell you what it is. Are you sure? Yeah. Is it in your car? No. So you really don't know where it is at all? No. All right. Well, what is it? It's very weird. It's not in any of my suitcases. Do you want to tell me or you want it to be a surprise for the future? Well, yeah, I'll just give it to you next time. Okay. Yeah. That's better because I don't really remember what it is. Okay okay i was drinking a lot of hurricane moving on okay how long have we been ranting i'm so sorry to everyone who's new to this show only 28 minutes shit well that's also that's also the ads anyway so sorry about that i will

find it for next time so sorry to eva having to edit this down and for everyone who's listening who doesn't like us bantering in the beginning sorry we just haven't seen each other in a long time it's been a long time uh oh my well with that being said we'll do the rest later we'll tell a story now i suppose i suppose so um this is something new that we're doing uh we are very aware that because at our live shows we are doing uh different stories that don't actually end up getting aired unless they're unless like we record them at the venue right so we'll record like 20 shows in like two weeks and then or well like three weeks and then we have to pick one to release we can't we're not releasing all of them right and so what we have been doing is we'll release uh every now and then a live show that we've done, but sometimes at venues, they don't

actually, they're not able to record the live show, which means that when we tell that story to the audience, that's the last time anyone ever hears it. It's like tragic. Cause we pick stories that we fucking love for each love. And so anyone who has been in a particular audience, if we don't record it, it doesn't get aired anywhere. And we never tell the story again. Cause we try to do original stories all the time, but sometimes there's stories that mean a lot to us and we want to be able to

tell them so uh this is i'm actually i don't know i think you are too but i'm telling a story that we've actually covered at a live show that happened to not get recorded right just because this story is so good and it's a story that so many people have requested it would be such a even i after you did it i was like can we do that again on the show because i loved it so much and it's like it's one of those things where it's like i it would it would be unfair right to have been able to only tell that story one time to a small group of people when so many people want to hear it and also for anybody who's thinking which i thought at first too kind of a concern of like well you know you guys usually tell stories you don't know and stuff like and so the reactions are raw if you think i

remember what happened in november we don't m told the story i don't remember a goddamn thing so truly i mean we just like how we've said before on the show that people will you know dm us or talk to us about references from like a year ago we have no idea no every like when you just said that uh you were like i think you said that nicholas cage bought the laurie mansion until you said that i never right since i said it in episode 19 i haven't thought about that information i totally forgot yeah i just wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you said it right thank you and i said yeah i said that but i probably might not have i don't know but so basically what we're saying is if you are disappointed that we're doing this because you think the reaction isn't real we promise this is actually our we're re-hearing it

and relearning it all over again and i think we're both we're doing stories from different cities just in case if you're in the new york audience or if you're in this i'm doing a story from one of the dc shows yeah like if you're in those audiences you'll still get a new story so don't worry about it um and they'll be different i mean we tell as you know we're the the kings of banter no i can't even kings of banter or the broads of broadcasting but it's not gonna be the exact same as it was no and also i can promise you let's pretend that christine even knew all the information about my story and her reaction isn't gonna be real which is not true but let's pretend yeah my reaction is certainly gonna be real because i haven't looked at these notes since

i said them in November. So I actually don't remember. I'm really going to be like winging this whole story because I have not looked at them. I don't remember mine either. And I, I, so I have no fucking clue. Good. So good luck to everyone listening in on this chaos. I'm excited actually.

Cause I, I picked one that I really liked telling too. So it'll be good. Oh good. Yeah. Well, this is the story that I did for the New York Comedy Fest at the Gramercy in November and this is the story that has been highly requested by many of you including me including Christine this is the story of Dear David oh my god I'm so fucking pumped that we're doing this which like and we've wanted to we've thought about doing this one on the show anyway because uh we because some cool things happened while we were doing the show right well

you'll find out you'll find out okay okay um and also i do apologize you guys are not going to be getting as great of an experience as the people at the grammar see because at the time i was showing the pictures along with the tweets but there are uh. I think bustle.com actually has an entire chronology of every single tweet and picture. So if you would like to follow along there, you can probably type in on Google, like, bustle, dear David. And you'll see all the pictures. It was a very picture-heavy show. So I'm sorry that I'm going to have to kind of just. But the story itself is so fucking creepy.

It's way creepy. It doesn't even matter. So, okay. So, Dear David. So, in this thread, basically, it's a, Dear David is this guy on Twitter named Moby Dickhead is his handle. His name is Adam. And he decided that he was going to live tweet his experiences right um that he was having in his apartment

right and he thought he was being haunted by a little ghost and it it's a very well documented story so right right basically in this thread adam says that there is a ghost of a child trying to kill him in his apartment oh fantastic and it started at a dream but it seems too real so during a bout of sleep he saw a child in a green chair by his bed of sleep and about about of sleep during a bout of sleep is that what we call it nowadays i feel like that's something i must have said maybe a sleep paralysis no just during a session of sleep paralysis during one of those sleep sessions you know anyway he was taking a nap and then he sorry i just i just read it and didn't even realize i had written that so while he was sleeping

and he was uh he had sleep paralysis and he saw a child in a green chair by his bed so i am going i also forgot my laptop today so i'm doing this all from my phone so we are going to have to bounce back and forth between me finding the tweets and reading them for you as well as reading my notes. Yay. So the very first tweet was, I think, on August 7th. And Adam wrote, so my apartment is currently being haunted by the ghost of a dead child and he's trying to kill me. Fuck. What year was that, by the way?

2017, right? 2017. Okay. The first time I saw him, I was experiencing sleep paralysis and saw a child sitting in a green chair at the foot of my bed. Okay, good. So I've been doing a good job so far in these two bullets. I already have chills and like, I don't know why, but that's terrifying.

So basically, he then tweeted out and said he had a huge mishappened head. Mishappened. Misshapen. Christ alive. Can you tell I haven't? Truly, I have not done this in November. I wanted to hear it if you would hear it. Hafizardly.

Hafizardly. All right. So I was experiencing sleep paralysis. You had a wanton head. I'm 26. I was experiencing sleep paralysis and I saw a child sitting in the green rocking chair at the foot of my bed. He had a huge misshapen head

that was dented on one side and i did my best to draw it so this is where a picture showed up on the projector christine i will show you the picture again can you please describe for the people oh god oh i don't want to insult this creepy child but it is like a child looking at you but then there's a huge dent in his head and like he's it has smashed half his face and it's really like imagine tommy pickles with beady eyes and half of his head yeah it's really unfortunate it's a huge dent in his head. And like he is. It has smashed half his face. And it's really like imagine Tommy Pickles with beady eyes and half of his head. Yeah, it's really unfortunate. It's a really unfortunate look. So from there, if you saw that in your sleep, like you'd never sleep again is what I'm trying to say.

Absolutely not. The child apparently got out of his chair. So he did the drawing and then he goes on to explain more of the story. The child got out of the chair and came closer to the bed when Adam woke up screaming. Oh, fuck. So that was the first time. So he approached him in bed. So a couple of nights later, the next dream that he had was of him in a library where a girl said, have you seen?

Sorry. So he's having a dream and in a library and someone comes up to him and says, you've seen Dear David, haven't you? Stop. I hate this. in a library and someone comes up to him and says you've seen dear david haven't you stop i hate this the girl went on and said that dear david appears at midnight and if you say dear david first before you finish your sentence you can ask him any question you want you can ask two questions though if you ask a third question he'll kill you so you only get two questions and you have to say dear david both times first okay so like simon says sure but not but exactly it's like simon says kill me um simon says keep me alive please

like the adult version of simon's right so a few weeks in a sexual way no i'm gonna change wow here we go um a few weeks pass and adam has another night of sleep paralysis where he sees david in the chair staring at him adam says dear david how did you die david says an accident in a store oh god and then adam says dear david what happened in the store and david said a shelf was pushed on my head then adam made a mistake no and he asked a third question no and he also didn't say no so he said who pushed the shelf and he woke up afraid knowing that he shouldn't have asked the third question and so he starts investigating because now he's seen this guy a couple times so he's just getting curious getting some info so he searches everywhere for new york city a kid in a

store an accident all that combined but he didn't find anything that's probably a lot of results to nyc kids store accident in this same time he is also moving from the bottom of the apartment that he's in the bottom apartment of his duplex currently and he's moving into the top one i guess someone oh it doesn't really matter but he's switching rooms right he said that when he moved up there originally there were no ghosts so he thought that maybe david lost him oh so he you mean like that he lost it like maybe now that he wasn't sleeping in that room anymore maybe maybe dear david couldn't find him oh perfect so now david is lost him that's the creepiest way to

put that uh so then adam however starts noticing that something is going on outside of his door and his two cats begin staring at the door every night at midnight and one night he decided to look through the people and he thought he saw something move so i feel really bad for the people who are not looking at the pictures while i'm telling this story this is i feel because there's so many creepy things that are involved in these pictures um but basically i'm going to scroll down i'm going to have you if i can find it have you describe it so if you're driving don't try to google it but yeah this is definitely the story that you don't uh listen while you're driving you like are following me on twitter so uh so adam posts for the past four nights my cats gather

at the front door at exactly midnight and just stare at it, almost like something's on the other side. And here's a picture of confirmation. Okay, two kittens sitting at the door, staring underneath the crack on the door. Yes. And then he says, when I opened the door and turned on the hall light, nothing was there, but my cat seemed unnerved, bushy tails, et cetera. Ooh.

And that's where I am right now. Dear David found me, I think. I don't know what to do i'll keep you updated fuck so this is terrible from there he lives alone like oh god this is my worst nightmare and keep in mind the story that i'm telling is it's still long but it's an abridged version i tried to cut out some of the less scary parts right so if you go through bustle you'll see that there's some parts that I am missing. So, uh,

in my story, what happens next, um, is that he's starting to see things through the people and Adam starts taking a few pictures at this time through the people. And in one of them, he sees a dark mist. Oh God.

And in the first one, uh, it looks, the dark mist looks like it's hiding. Oh, like behind the stairs. So one night about that one night he decided to look through the peephole and thought he saw something move and for the next week the

cat started staring at the door at midnight non-stop it was just always expected so a few nights later adam starts trying out a sleep talk app to record sounds while he's sleeping because he's like the cats are looking out the door there's this dark mist that keeps showing up at night time yeah and he's like okay i'm just gonna have a recorder going while i'm asleep i fucking hate this and uh so the cats keep going to the door at midnight and adam puts salt around the doorway before he goes to bed because he's getting afraid um which is fair i would also probably put a ring of salt around the door i remember when this was going on because people kept tweeting it at us yeah we had the podcast at the time but like didn't he just go by like he bought like salt he was like i don't know what kind of salt this is he's like hopefully

this works kroger brand iodized salt like i'll just pour it all over the floor the poor cats are like no because like why did you do that to me this isn't even tasty so uh yeah so he starts putting salt on the floor while he's sleeping. And the sleep app on the first night actually caught three interesting sounds. Ah, fuck. They all happened between 2 and 3 a.m. The first was a snap and a heavy step. The second was a whole clip of electrical static that wasn't there before. And the third was another snap.

And it sounded like an electrical snap. Okay. Interestingly enough, as I was saying this on stage you're right one of the light bulbs on the above us on stage snapped and sizzled and there was a huge spark and everyone in the theater freaked out well the bulb blew like the bulb completely blew out because then i didn't know i just heard it i heard an electrical snap behind me and i heard everyone go it was one of those things where everyone went what like the whole fucking audience it looked like we had planned it we did not plan that and i it was very scary because the bulb blew and then later we were at the grammar

scene and it's like usually a concert venue and so we were talking to the people backstage and without even like us asking but i remember the guy was like or i think our booking agent or andrew or somebody was like talking to the tech guys and they were like, yeah, we've never had a bulb blow out like that. Like during even a concert when it's like loud and crazy and there's like amps going and they were like, yeah, those bulbs just don't blow. Like we changed them every couple of months. So weird. And they like recently just changed them.

Yeah, they just changed them and they were like, we test them and never had this happen. And we were like, don't tell us that. As the words coming out of my mouth were an electrical snap that was actually in a sizzle very frightening so those were the three sounds that got recorded on his sleep out that night um then adam went on a trip and he came back uh with an instant polaroid camera which was funny on his twitter he said something like getting the fuck out of my haunted house so yeah he's like packing my bag he's like see ya so while he was out he took some uh or while when he got back with his instant polaroid he took some pictures around the apartment and they

were totally normal shots wait sorry who do you think watched it what sucker do you think he talked into watching his cats that weekend you have a free place to stay i'd be like i'll pay you don't worry just hang out at my place they're like just don't if you hear anything just ignore it just your dream weekend job not really also just put some salt around the front of the door don't mind all the salt piles all over the house just leave them be don't mind the child in the room with a bastion head right exactly and don't ask him questions um so he took some pictures around the apartment and they were totally normal and then this is where it got really juicy for me i got really stoked about this part he decides that he's going to open the door and take a picture of the hallway while it

is pitch black. Oh, fuck. Um, well, oh, sorry. Hang on. I'm reading. I'm, I'm reading on my phone. So my notes keep like zooming out and I'm like, oh shit, I don't know where I am. Basically he took a picture of the hallway while the light was on and the picture turned

out pitch black as in, as if there were no this one had like just like covered up the as if someone just covered up the entire hole right of the camera so he tried to debunk it and he ripped open a new pack of film to see if they started black and it just like maybe didn't develop but the it was all white um he also took a picture with his finger over the lens to see if that's what made it black but he actually like took a picture of him covering up the entire lens and you could still see light coming through like the the bound the border of his fingertips right so that wasn't what it was and he also tried to take a picture of the hallway with his phone on instead of just as polaroid so he took a picture side by side one

with his phone one with his polaroid and the picture on his phone was a normal picture of a lit up hallway and on his polaroid it came out pitch black so comments um didn't he oh sorry no no go ahead you're gonna talk about this what's that like of him taking like he didn't he post a video of him taking the photo so that you could literally see it he took yes he yes you didn't i was not gonna say that so thank you i just remember people being like you probably just fucking like took a picture no he took a video of himself on his phone taking a picture with the Polaroid and then watched it develop. Right. Like no editing. It was super creepy.

So there are comments from tweets or conspiracy pages. Some say that they are also so like as he's posting these things, people who are following these tweets are now saying that they are starting to see David. these tweets are now saying that they are starting to see david and one said that he saw david sitting on his sink when he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night which was super creepy um if i fucking see david i swear to god i cannot handle this this is so spooky to me so a couple days later he posted a picture of him saging the house and the next day there was a tweet that said sage did not work oh that night he had another dream with david sitting on the couch and staring at him and the sleep app that he was using was recording uh for the next several nights and in a in a row for several nights it was just complete static from

like 3 a.m to 5 a.m oh wait no it's not 3 a.m for starting at 3 a.m it would go for five full minutes it was just complete electrical static that was not supposed to be there okay so adam had a dream that david was dragging him by the arm through an empty warehouse oh my god so that was the dream and he was having these dreams somewhere around the time that the sleep app was happening so all of a sudden the electrical static would happen and god damn it it would be the last thing that he recorded and then when he woke up from his dream he would wake up and check the sleep app. And that sound was happening. Fucking A man.

So he had the dream that he was being dragged around in an empty warehouse. The next day, Adam woke up with a bruise on his arm, which he showed he has a picture of. He showed the bruise on his arm. He also when he woke up and saw the bruise, he decided he was going to go downstairs and get coffee. And he walked past a repair store that he walks by all the time and it is always super busy i remember it being like some sort of like um like the hot dog carts like street food vendor carts it was a repair shop for those kind of carts and so during this time during the weekend it was always really busy because everyone was getting their carts repaired sure so he said that it always used to be super busy but on this particular day that

warehouse happened to be completely gutted and abandoned oh and it looked like the warehouse from his dream oh no and the only thing left in the warehouse apparently it was just totally everything was ripped out of there except for a green chair oh my god oh my god what the fuck which is remember that at all which if you recall that was the chair that he remembers seeing dear david in in his dream in the first dream this one gets me so good i don't know it's so i have goosebumps right now i've had goosebumps this whole time so he thought it was a coincidence and tried to ignore it um and then next his cats are still going to the door every night and it's getting early and earlier so it's not just like midnight

anymore the cats are showing up like 10 p.m and not leaving the door oh my god so at the same time that the cats are gathering adam starts getting phone calls from an unmarked number oh god well i mean i get like 40 of those a day true i mean maybe he just like has to pay his student loans or something and that's what dear david's just a collection agency oh my god i mean they know how to get millennials it's like we'll haunt you until you pay your fucking sleep paralysis so uh the cats are gathering he starts getting these phone calls and he was getting calls every night at the exact same time and he was ignoring them and he finally decided to pick up one night and he heard the same electric static sound from his sleep app

no thank you and a small voice whispered hello no thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you and then adam said it wasn't quite a greeting um oh god it was just a flat statement so quiet that i could barely hear it adam had another ship coming up and he bought a nanny cam for the cats and he recorded 24 7 and sent it would send alerts to his phone whenever motion was detected so that same night two things sent alarms to his phone one was a video of his green chair rocking by itself in the living room so he had a green he did happen to have a green chair but um the green chair was rocking in the middle of the night by itself okay um and these videos are also on twitter and they are way creepy.

They are actually very frightening because you can tell it's like from one of those cameras. Yeah. It's like cameras or whatever. Exactly. Yeah. And so there's a chair rocking and then there's a, he has like a turtle shell decoration on his wall and it falls by itself. Fucking no.

And there's no cat knocking it off. There's no cat knocking it off. You just watch it fall by itself. Did he talk about that turtle shell and said he got it on like a trip somewhere? It was like a. I think so. It was something like he got it from. It like it had some sort of significance.

Some native symbolism or something. Yeah. And he also said that he's noticing at this point that most things that are being touched and like interacted with with your David happen to be green. Oh, I didn't even think about a turtle shell is kind of great god those cats are not green can you imagine am i right uh so a week later another video comes out of his cats freaking out these poor cats they're clearly looking at something that isn't there and then all of a sudden a jar on the table moves by itself one of the cats named maxwell he is uh meerkatting in the video for hours which for him is an odd behavior um meerkatting

is when they're like on their hind legs looking at something right with their like paws kind of up yeah yeah yeah and so he was but he kept looking for hours poor baby don't they do that when they're they're kind of scared and curious about what they're looking at yeah and so two weeks later adam updates us that he has been having intense nightmares one of him rolling over and seeing a severed head with a bloody spine attached snaking down the bed laying next to him and the head was staring at him and smiling okay part of this too is that like we did this live and I, I had to like remember that my mother-in-law was in the audience and I, and like,

so it was our agent and like a lot, a lot of important people, a lot of fucking people. We were trying not to cuss. I'm trying to keep myself together on stage. I'm probably wearing a skirt. Oh, I was wearing a dress.

I'm like trying to like look presentable, but this is just making me like fall out of my fucking chair now. So, uh, Adam asks what happened to you? look presentable but this is just making me like fall out of my fucking chair now so uh adam asks what happened to you and the bloody severed head says it feels great and then adam woke up oh god and it's smiling i'm gonna die another comments are also i would rather see david any fucking day and then that stupid spine no a thousand percent horrific so basically adam then goes on a trip to

japan and he says that everything was fine on the trip but the last day of his trip he walked past uh this statue in the park and saw the figure of a child with a dented head so it just was a little coincidental that's a little weird once he got back in uh back to his house the electricity started acting up and multiple light bulbs would go out and a new led strip that he flashed on and off uh would flash on and off by itself without being powered on fuck um one early morning he couldn't sleep so he was getting ready to go to work and he heard a scratch on his front door and he took a picture of the people to see if anything was on the other side and something's face was definitely there staring back at him no which you can see in a picture

that he has on twitter it's definitely a dear david-esque face oh god and then all of a sudden there were no updates for a while so people were freaking the fuck out are you alive and then he said that some spiritual friends came over and tried blessing the place with things that seemed to work for a little bit but then the next apartment update was around 11 p.m one night and adam walked to the kitchen and noticed the cat staring out the window oh the window looks out to a roof of a building next door and before leaving the room adam saw that on the roof was someone standing on the roof staring at him oh my god i forgot about this part which freaks me out too because i have a story from when i was younger that there was definitely

something in my room that i hated and my stepmom blessed the room fuck i forgot about this so there like it she blessed the room so there was nothing that could get in my room anymore but in the middle of the night i would feel something staring at me from outside my window like desperate to get in but it was outside so it's interesting that they blessed the apartment and all of a sudden something staring on the roof right next to his building staring at him i am one large goose bump right now and so the window looks out to the roof and he saw someone standing there and and there's a whole thread of him like ducking under the sink and trying to look out the window to see if it was really there but basically he saw someone standing there for sure so 10 days later you got a picture too right there's a picture

there's a literal picture there's pictures of everything i'm talking about right now all right okay so there is a picture of a guy standing on the fucking roof yes like facing his built window like way creepy creepy as hell whether there's a good like even if it's just a fucking dude on the roof exactly terrifying so 10 days later adam dreamed about david again and david was sitting by adam's bed in a new chair since the green one has now been gone because adam was like get this fucking chair out of here. But so now David's sitting on a different chair. Oh, great. And David stared at him and Adam tried to move and somehow was able because he has sleep paralysis.

So David's staring at him. Adam's trying to move. He cannot. But somehow he's able to move his hand enough to grab his phone. Oh, OK. This is bananas. Adam says, quote, I thought if David is going going to kill me maybe i can at least get evidence on my phone and he began taking pictures at his side like by his hip he was he had the camera up

on his phone was taking pictures while david was there david got off the chair and got face to face with adam muttering something and then his eyes rolled back in his head until there was only white. While still muttering something, David climbed into Adam's bed. And then Adam woke up and it was broad daylight. A few days later, Adam went into the pictures on his phone for something. And he found pictures during his dream that confirmed that everything he experienced really happened. he experienced really happened so there are pictures of a little child with a dented head on a couch running towards his bed and standing there it is the fucking creepiest because this is like like look at my i'm like it's goosebump central right now it's terrible because the pictures i'm not kidding these pictures it's not like a kind of a shadow it's definitely a child running off the couch christ this is like so upsetting and so uh two weeks later adam updates everyone again which

by the way everyone's freaking out in between being like okay so two weeks have gone by you're not gonna tell us what the fuck happened like your last post was a ghost child running at you and now we hear nothing right right so two weeks later adam updates again saying that he heard thumps and crashing above him, which was weird because he lived on the top floor of his duplex. Oh, true. And he did figure out that there was a crawl space above his ceiling. Oh, absolutely not.

There was no access to the crawl space because to get to the entrance in his ceiling, it's really high above the stairs. So he would need a really tall ladder to actually reach it. And nobody should be able to reach that crawl space. Right. So the entrance was in the ceiling above the tall stairs and we definitely need a ladder balanced on the stairs to even get up there got it okay so the sounds it's the sounds that he was hearing were like something was dropping and crashing onto the floor and it sounded very

intentional like it was only doing it when he was listening okay so something must have been in there he thought so uh he went online and bought a long pole to prop up the hatch of the attic door. He's fucking brave. And he got brave enough to peek inside. So at this point, the noises were so loud, he said it sounded like a bowling ball was being dropped in there. Oh, God. And one day he went down the stairs. He wasn't playing with the crawlspace at all, but he just was leaving his apartment.

And he went down the stairs and he saw dirt on the stairs right under the crawl space hatch door as if something had gotten out. He looked up and there was something now wedged in the door of the hatch that had previously never been there before. So now it looks like so it was it was a crawl space door that he never thought about. Then he's hearing all these sounds. He props the door up. Yeah. And then the next time he's there, all of a sudden there's dirt as if someone was shuffling out of there and there's something kind of wedged in the doorway. So it looks like something has been in there.

Right. So he goes back upstairs and grabs the pole and he films himself doing this, which this video does exist he filmed himself with the long pole knowing that there was something wedged on in the door and he was going to push push the door up so whatever was wedged there would fall down sure and he didn't know what it would be so something did fall out on him and he thought it was a dead bird or something he said it might be a squirrel when he looked at it it was actually a small leather shoe. It's the worst thing. Like from like old days, like an old ass leather shoe. Like a creepy hand sewn child's leather shoe. Yes. And Adam called the landlord and was like, fuck this.

You bring your own ladder. I need you to check out the crawl space up there. Absolutely. The landlord found nothing. And then he said, oh, wait, I found something. And he pulled out a very old green marble with a dent in it. No. thing and he pulled out a very old green marble with a dent in it no and he ended up later looking up this marble and found out that marbles like that with the dent in it only come from the early

1900s because that was how they used to make marbles oh so it had like a yeah part of the manufacturing right right oh got it got it got it so the marble and the shoe looked like they were both from the 1900s okay early 1900s so poor choice adam took the shoe and marble and put them in his house what a fucking dummy so like you finally blessed this guy out he's on the roof because he can't get in he ends up in the crawl space because it's technically not in your area but he's getting closer to you and then all of a sudden you welcomed him welcomed him back in giant jesus i cannot so two weeks later adam says that he hasn't been feeling well and gets sudden bouts of dizziness and no longer sleeps well and has weird dreams.

He no longer sleeps well because he's been sleeping so fucking well the past year. Good. So sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and feels like he's being stared at. He feels malice and dread. And there are days that he's so tired he can barely function. So he's becoming a mess. It's like driving him crazy.

After a few nights of this, Adam decides to use the nanny cam in his bedroom, but the cord wasn't long enough. So he used an app that takes a picture every minute and set the phone in the top corner of his room. So he had a view of everything. So he's trying to just get any picture he can of what's happening while he's sleeping. Right. That night, he woke up in the middle of the night and decided to check his phone. And the first 100 pictures didn't have anything. up in the middle of the night and decided to check his phone and the first 100 pictures didn't have anything but then adam found a picture from a few minutes before uh before he had woken up of david

standing on the couch by adam's bed no next photos show um david standing staring at the ceiling as if it's like looking at the camera and then falling over and laying on the couch like he's playing dead or something and And then he was gone. So it looks at the camera, looks at the camera. Fuck. A few pictures later, David comes back and he's now standing by the bed, staring at Adam inches from his face. And then the next picture is David standing next to Adam and staring across the room directly at the camera. Oh, my God.

to adam and staring across the room directly at the camera oh my god so then the last picture taken before adam wakes up is david pretty much like inches away from the camera like he just thing is there's been a minute since the last photo so it's like he's come he like has climbed all the way up towards the camera oh my god so adam says i'm so exhausted i don't know how to process it even now all i want to do is sleep the next update from Adam was him saying that he was visiting home for a couple of weeks and he was feeling much better. He was less foggy and drained, almost like whatever was attached to him was going away. And he started feeling like if he moved, maybe David wouldn't follow him. But then while he was at home in Montana, while it was snowing, he woke up one night and saw something moving outside his window. montana while it was snowing he woke up one night and saw something moving outside his window and he stared long enough for his eyes to adjust and then he saw someone moving to the side and

hiding away from the window whenever he would look oh god he assumed it was an animal but the next morning he went out and looked into the snow and didn't find any animal tracks but he did find small human footprints that vanished in the middle of the field no in new york he gets back and david says he feels like he's being watched again in the middle of the night and the app that takes photos every minute is now being spotty um but one night adam felt really sick and had awful dreams and one was of david hovering in the corner of his ceiling hovering into the air fantastic in the corner of his ceiling mouthing something no no no no no no david then began hovering over his bed still mouthing something and faster than people should usually speak so he's talking really

fast um wait i have a question yeah i don't know how do they know that his mouth is moving if it's like photos i guess that i don't know i maybe it's a, oh wait, hang on. Oh, it's a, cause it's a dream. Oh, it's a dream. So he's having a dream right now. I thought this was photos. Okay. He's having a dream that David is hovering over him and mouthing something really fast to him.

So it's fucking terrible cause he's watching it happen. Yes. Fantastic. Okay. So while Adam is unable to move in this dream, David then dropped down towards him and Adam woke up to feeling pressure on his chest. Like the wind got knocked out of him. So that was the end of his dream.

He woke up feeling like something like smacked him. He's like hovering over him and then fucking drops. So. This is terrible. So he goes over to the phone to see if any pictures got taken during this dream of this demon dented headed child hovering over him. And then all of a sudden you feel like the wind gets knocked out. Right. And the only picture that he found on his phone was of a child with a dented head falling on top of his body

wait what there's literally a photo of it there's literally a photo of it so apparently as the he wasn't dreaming this thing was hovering over him and then dropped onto him and that's when he woke up and saw the picture i'm gonna lose my mind this is terrible two weeks later adam checks back in saying that he's actually feels really good and he has no more dreams and everything has stopped for now but he has this weird feeling that something is off and he will lose hours of time with no memory of what happened or he will hear people talking to him and when he asks them to repeat themselves they haven't said anything oh no then his photos on social media start warping themselves he's he starts trying to post pictures and they're all coming

out really fucked up like on instagram or something so like one picture in particular is from instagram and uh there's a picture that he posted that completely glitched on its own and everything else in the picture looks fine except his face looks deformed as if he has a dent in his head stop it m so many people have thought that it looked like his face was no longer his. And since David has now made physical contact by dropping on top of his body, he is now becoming one with David. Absolutely not. Then people are hearing nothing from Adam for another two weeks. And then a vague video comes out.

Very vague. Makes no sense to this day of Adam's cats looking scared and meowing. And it had no explanation or caption or anything, just cats meowing. Oh, so no one knows why he posted it, right? Right. Oh, okay. And some people have hypothesized

that maybe it was like David, or Dear David, now having possessed Adam filming the cats or something like that. Very creepy. Then nothing again until Adam wrote an all-under case with weird spacing in between, which is nothing like his other tweets. So it seems very out of ordinary for him. All he wrote under case with multiple

spaces in between the words, everything is fine. Then nothing again for another week and a half. And so all of a sudden he says, please do not worry about me. I'm okay. And everything will be like it was before nothing again and then an update from him saying i'm doing okay it's been pretty quiet around here lately and i've been trying to focus on work of course i'll keep you updated if anything strange happens but for now i'm staying busy with other projects which caused a lot of controversy because people thought if the pictures were doctored or if he set this up for a video camera he they think that this could have all been fake because he was in the middle of writing a book so maybe it was for publicity he worked for like buzzfeed or

something right so he like maybe maybe all this was just an act so um the last update was on june 6th of 2018 and it was that a dear david film was in the works being produced by dan lynn who is also the producer of it oh fuck okay and that is the whole story of dear david i'm just i just don't know i mean i just this is terrible it's terrible it's truly bananas it's like so scary i feel like i was just running through that but it was just so much information so much well i mean and like my first thought always when something like that and someone acts weird is like carbon monoxide right right people go see things sure yeah but the fact that they're like photos and stuff it's just not okay it's and all of that like i said i know there's an uh one on bustle i know on his actual twitter i think it's a his pinned tweet but somewhere on

his twitter he actually has a link where he saved all of his dear david threads and put them all in like one big space for you to read them chronologically so you can also look there for all the pictures and videos but it is worth your time if you're feeling like getting creeped out and it's very creepy like if you're like oh it's just a twitter thread and they're not they're not doctored pictures this is like real stuff it's very in my opinion. In my opinion. Anyway. In my opinion. In my humble opinion. I am a Joe. Anyway. Wow. That's so fucking spooky.

Gives me chills. So for everyone who wasn't at the New York Gramercy Theater show. Right. I hope you enjoyed this little insight. But also I'm so sorry you didn't get the pictures and the reaction that everyone had from when the light blew out. I like that I got to actually swear and scream and be a psycho during it because i didn't get that opportunity on stage yay that one spooks me so fucking much it's way creepy um real quick because i forgot uh also for speaking of live shows we have a bunch in florida next week and i don't think we've like like advertised that much so no please come to our

florida shows that many tickets down there so like please florida show up if you can we have a ton of cities and tickets yes if you feel like trotting all over florida please come to every show and i will tell you for true crime you guys know i'm gonna have some very excited i'm amped anyway and we're back yes yes yes yes yes i'm very excited to hear what you have for me okay hold on we just recorded our facebook live for february guys we took a little hiatus hiatus grabbed a beer ate some hot sauce it's national wine day but i'm drinking beer so i have i have not tried the uh bayou love potion yet but i have tried the bourbon street hot party in your mouth sauce yeah and i've also tried the louisiana execution as predicted louisiana execution is currently my favorite yes it's really i have done probably

10 dollops already little just little shooters off the finger oh oh and i still have chips from down from chipotle downstairs oh boy oh yeehaw oh my goodness let's hope alden eat them damn it okay anyway tell me your story okay sorry we're back um i'm gonna tell you can i test this real quick yeah yeah yeah okay okay we're on so i'm going to tell you a story that i told in dc and i guarantee you don't remember it because your mother was there and i think you blacked out the whole thing just about every second of that entire trip yes fantastic so this is uh the story of the murder of viola drath yep don't remember great thanks sorry hoping you'd at least pretend but okay oh i loved it it was i loved when you talked

about that girl viola okay so uh viola we're gonna just jump into it this is one that i was like amped about doing live and i'm amped about telling you again. Okay. So this is Viola. She was born in Dusseldorf in 1920 in Germany. She lived the high life in post-World War II Germany and learned English at a young age on vacations around the world, as well as her time in a boarding school in Scotland. So she was very much like high society, basically.

While living in Munich as a playwright in her 20s, she met the man who would become her future husband. His name was Lieutenant Colonel Francis S. Drath, and it was love at first sight. Aww. I know, it's very precious. So they got married, and they moved, as you do, from Germany, from Munich, Germany,

to Lincoln, Nebraska. Mm-hmm. Right. As you do. We've all done it. I've been there, okay to Lincoln, Nebraska. Right. As you do. We've all done it. I've been there. Okay. I just got out.

We just did it. Just got out of Nebraska. You fall in love. You moved to Nebraska. It's just the way it goes. And you know, for better, for worse. C'est la vie. C'est la vie.

But despite the culture shock, obviously she's literally lived in Germany and Scotland her whole life. Right. Welcome to Nebraska. Welcome to the heart of America. She adjusted actually really well. She got an advanced degree in literature. Oh, hey-o. Yeah. And this was like, you know, well, I don't know how to do math, but you know, she was born in 1920 and was, so it was like the fifties. So this was like not that normal for a woman to get an advanced degree.

Education for a woman, but they don't have a brain. and writing how do they do that how do they hold a pen weird they can only hold a spatula and a baby oh and a baby so uh right so she got an advanced degree and also she was married so i mean she did have a lot of money so there was that but like there was no need for her to get a degree basically got it as far as like finances so she gets an advanced degree in literature and philosophy, and she starts working as an editor of a German newspaper in Nebraska. She had her own show on local TV, and she was also an American correspondent for a German magazine. So she's, like, working her butt off. Just doing what she needs to do. Yeah.

So after their stint in Nebraska, Viola and her husband moved to D.C. to continue working their way up in their careers. They were basically this, like, intense power couple. So her husband, Francis the Colonel, as he was nicknamed love it and he was actually a colonel but that was his nickname he worked for the government and he took care of their daughters while viola would jet set to new new york and germany to cover fashion shows and build up her social circle so it's pretty cute because he's like this high up guy in the military and the government and he is like watching the kids back at home and she's like building up her journalism career so got it pretty baller i'm doing whatever she needs to do so at the time she befriended norman mailer henry kissinger and other high status people

she was described as a notable figure in german-american relations which is like a pretty big deal and in addition to german-american politics she regularly wrote about culture fine art and political gossip. So she was just a badass, basically. Yeah, she's covering all of her spots. All of the facets of things. Of life. And things in life. And interests in culture.

Interests in culture in Nebraska, etc. She's got it all down. Got it. Just like us. Well, not as well as us, I think. No, but nobody. no one can compare um so on top of all this she and her husband francis are living in georgetown dc at this point um they were this charming couple they were high up on the social ladder they had this beautiful town home like i

mean anyone who's been to georgetown knows like how expensive and oh yeah those houses are um very she she i remember talking during the show about my ex boyfriend who lived in georgetown and um we would go to like lacrosse parties in those stupid houses and i just love it it's just so stupid i hate it um not my proudest moment so anyway uh i have to sneeze don't fuck you did it work sort of oh but not enough not enough for old christine and that nose of hers i feel like a rabbit okay anyway so they are this like charming couple everyone loves them they're both super successful they have beautiful family yada yada yada in the early 80s viola is at a news conference where she meets a

young teenage intern from germany and his name is albrecht mutt yes now albrecht albrecht i don't know albert albrecht albrecht albrecht sure uh told viola he was a devotee of her work and had started reading her column in his youth in his youth i'm like you're a teenager you asshole so when you were eight what a fucking weirdo in his youth he's like i didn't watch power rangers i watched your i read your your ted talk yeah i mean in my youth i was reading nickelodeon magazine please that's true i was starting young nickelodeon magazine please um albrecht told viola he was right so i already told you that so he took her out to lunch at a local schnitzel joint i'm not making that up and i'm like where was that when i lived in dc i don't know right and although he had only recently moved to dc to

study at american university ayo my alma mater at allison's that's right that's true oh where your love began forgot about that right i went there too yeah it's true oh where you're like i totally forgot about that right i went there too yeah it's kind of where we met it's kind of where we all met god i met her when she was 17 isn't that weird anyway oh little allison we were babies her youth her you are youths yes uh so viola was impressed how you should have seen how many like ted talks we watched back then okay i love a good ted talk though. I don't think they existed in that year. No, I just love them now. I love a good TED Talk.

No, me too. Just not in my youth, probably. No, no, no. So, Viola was impressed by how intelligent, witty, and driven he was. They struck up a friendship-slash-mentorship, and soon he started coming over to her and Frances' house unannounced all the time. Got it. He was an odd duck, is what I wrote. Well, welcome to the club.

He once showed up at their house wearing an eyepatch. I mean, to be fair, you've shown up at my house wearing weirder things. I mean, you're not wrong. I can't think of any right now, but I know you're right. He once showed up at their house wearing an eye patch and claiming he was in the way of an assassination attempt in paraguay oh they were like okay guy he's like literally 18 and he's like testing out ideas for his own podcast yeah yeah probably like here's a story does it stick does it work no do people like me should i wear the eye patch on the other eye

is that what the problem is that's what it is yep i knew my dimple looked better on this side yeah so anyway back to viola and francis unfortunately francis the colonel had been battling cancer um and on january 11th of 1986 he passed away he and viola had been married for 40 years and they had a really really beautiful happy life together so viola at this point is 66, and she really did not take her husband's passing well. They've been together since she was in her early 20s. Got it. It's just very hard on her. She had always had such a busy schedule with work and travel and her social life that she had kind of relied heavily on Francis for taking care of the house, taking care of the kids.

And so this was like a complete shift for her to try and figure out like she literally didn't know how to go grocery shopping yeah like she couldn't do basic day-to-day stuff because she had relied on him for all of it um so she was pretty much lost so of course um her good pal comes to the rescue albrecht moot starts popping up all the time um with his eye patch i was gonna say sometimes i would imagine i like to picture with the eye patch yeah um he begins showing by a lot more attention and affection uh she's impressed by his grasp on keep in mind she's like 66 he's like 18 90 he's like in his maybe early 20s now or like around 20 sure he's very young still young that way um in his 20s i believe so he begins showing a more affection. She is impressed by his grasp on politics, international affairs, etc. He also just gives her company when she needs it most.

He would come over unannounced for tea all the time, and sometimes he would serenade her on the baby grand piano. Well, well. It is kind of like when you come over, isn't it? I mean, I really try my best to impress you all the time. I don't want our love to die. No. Well, no. Obviously. Got to keep you on your toes. You don't want our love to die. No. Well, no, obviously.

Got to keep you on your toes. You're just waiting for Blaze to die so you can serenade me more often. So, well, I mean, so I can at least sign papers. So Gio's half mine. Yes. Well, okay. There's that too. We know what's coming.

I like to pretend it's for me, but it's mostly for Gio. Yes. Sure. I'm not going to say you're wrong. So after a few months of this, Albrecht, I don't don't know how whether albrecht shows up unannounced as usual this time he's wearing a tux shows up with a bottle of french champagne as you do gets down on one knee and proposes to viola and she accepts so four years after the death of her first husband viola draft now 70 years old marries 26 year old albrecht moot there is a 44 year difference in

their ages oh my word quite a shock to all her friends family how old is she 70 70 holy moly he is 26 um after their marriage albrecht's eccentricity skyrockets he takes over the domestic duties that the colonel once performed except with this weird like formal air to it so when visitors would come by he would serve them tea then like bow really exaggerated i love it that's how i do something every now and then i'm a cool guy i mean i did every now and then i ring on the ring on the doorbell and you open the door and i give one one bow and i i keep eye contact the whole time you give me a cup of tea that's cold because you drove all the way from burbank

it's usually starbucks let's be real but i try my best as long as i play the baby grand before i leave everything's good you know that's all i need so right so you'd serve tea take an exaggerated bow and then leave the room and all these people who are friends with viola who are like in their 60s and 70s are like what the fuck is this kid like what is he doing it's just very strange um around this time he had also fabricated a story that an elderly german count had fallen from an elephant in india well and when don't they don't day am i right classic move and needed to appoint a successor before dying so from that point forward moot insisted on being called count albrecht or if you knew him pretty well count albie again i'm not saying he's copying

me left and right but yeah they don't call me the count for nothing you know also homie your boobies are showing what's going on oh listen it's all this talk of baby grants oh my gosh i just thought i was like i like the purple in your shirt and i was like oh that's your bra i just listen i can't control myself it's okay i understand it's the eye patch it's the piano they're hitting every point we should have had that going on for a third love ad real quick yeah next time we're doing a third love i just don't wear a shirt got it third love bra you guys is it really it is wow i literally only wear them they didn't even pay for this ad it's just walked in i literally i was like i like the purple in your shirt and i was like that's not a shirt it was like this color i don't know if you're trying to match or something blaze is

shaking his head like blaze loves this oh also wait blaze you want to shake your head even more here at the same time who's also upset. Aw, Gio. You're saying, Mommy, keep your shirt on. What's wrong? And also, get rid of Lemon. Why is Lemon still here? Because Lemon's my friend.

Oh, God. I'm not getting rid of Lemon. No, why would I get rid of Lemon? He's my friend. She brought it in her purse. Blaze, I was up at that altar with you, and I gave you an out. You could have said, no, I don't. But instead, you said, I do. Lemon wasn't in the picture at that altar with you and I gave you an out. You could have said, no, I don't. But instead, you said I do.

Lemon wasn't in the picture at that point. Yeah, you're right. Lemon joined the party later. In sickness and in health, Blaze. That's what you agreed to. And in lemon. And in lemon. You're always unhealthy.

Wait, wait, get it. Wait, wait. In citrus and in health. Get out of here. Bye, Blaze. I'm very jealous he gets to leave. No. I'm not doing this anymore.

I'm taking the dog. I'm taking the cat. The scariest thing you could have said. I'm not doing this anymore i'm taking the dog i'm taking the cat scariest thing you could have said i'm not doing this anymore okay hey guys i buttoned my shirt buttoned all the way to the neck this time please if this ever happens truly in a live show you have you have to fucking tell me because that's horrifying um okay yeah this is you guys are getting more of a show than the people in dc did by the way we got hot sauce we got boobies we got we got lemons we got blaze really hating it we got blaze like signing divorce papers yes wow anyway okay so he says he's now a count right he's like oh well don't worry this guy fell off an elephant so now i'm a count right that makes sense it makes a lot of sense so following the end of the iraq war in 2003 let me say that again i heard iraq war in 2003 iraq i said it weird iraq look we already just

talked about your rack okay that was loud oh okay following the end of the iraq war in 2003 he suddenly adopted the rank and wore the uniform of a brigadier general in the iraqi army oh wow so far going so far as to organize diplomatic events in D.C. that he claimed were for the new Iraqi regime. He even managed to arrange a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery to honor fallen American soldiers on behalf of the Iraqi regime. Keep in mind, all of this is made up. Like, he's just inventing this.

Like, just every day he's waking up with a new story. He's just coming up with, like, this bullshit. He's like, we've pushed the envelope let's see how far we can really get it going let's rip the envelope envelope in half and see what happens let's shred it into pieces put it in the shredder um and set it on fire so he even made up this is fun a family crest get out i feel like in high school i knew people who pulled shit like that i think i always when i was younger i thought crests were more important because i thought you got to customize them like when i mean you did like 500 years ago true but i think like as a child my mentality of it was every like

descendant every and like every oh dear new generation gets to add something else that's why they were like so elaborate so i was like oh this person added an otter and this person had a bird oh i'll put the slime recipe on it exactly i thought i thought for sure i was like spongebob is absolutely both of ours would have matched right um right so he makes up a crest for himself like this is just bonkers by the way this guy's literally like in the high society in dc in the 2000s like this is very recent this is not like old timey okay so he makes up this crust but uh so he's eccentric obviously quote-unquote eccentric but it turns out that his life with viola was actually a lot darker than it seemed from the outside um in 92 uh so this is we're all the way in 2003 but

looking back like in 92 um albrecht was convicted of beating viola um the beginning of a rap sheet that would chronicle numerous cases of domestic abuse uh is that my phone that's my phone go ahead uh he once punched her in the face for interrupting a phone call well you just interrupted my phone call oh god come over here no yeah so uh right he once punched her in the face for interrupting a phone call keep in mind she's in her 70s and he's like in his 20s that's horrible um one night they were staying at the plaza and he threw her clothes into the hall and locked her out of the room for the night um and she poor poor woman yeah she ended up having to like call her friend and she it was like so mortifying because she's like been she's like created her own life and she's been she's

like this big strong powerful woman exactly and all of a sudden now she's like at the hands of this exactly and like with her husband of 40 years like who respected and loved her respects right like supported her and now there's this like asshole who's taking advantage of her and like right beating the shit out of her and it's god and so she has to call her her friends and be like hey remember that guy that you like fucking hate who bows at you all the time like right with the eye patch with the eye patch you you remember him yeah like he just pushed me out into the hallway of a hotel room i paid for and like but also like me up especially at 70 years old like you don't push anyone like that's like just an extra the pushing alone is like just yeah you don't fucking treat anyone that way but like come on like what what are you doing yeah so meanwhile he's also actively having affairs with men okay surprise

at one point he even moved in with a boyfriend whom he also domestically abused aggressively before being kicked out by the man psa abuse can happen to anyone to anyone it's not just women oh absolutely um and by anyone also yes yes it can also be women yeah um so like good for that guy he was with to kick him out, but the only downside was that he moved back in with Viola. So it's just a bad cycle. Albrecht once insulted Viola's daughter, who was a grown woman who also had a successful career.

Yeah. And when Viola defended her, Albrecht swung a chair at her and repeatedly pounded her head against the floor. Oh, no. After she called 911 and had him arrested, Albrecht left for a while, claiming to be in Iraq, working side by side with big wig officials to end the war. Meanwhile, when he called Viola, his area code showed up as Miami, Florida.

What the hell? She's like, well, not that stupid. All right. But despite all this, somehow he was able to woo her back, and I think her daughter and her kids and family friends say like she was just in such a bad place after her husband died. Like she just needed someone to be there for her. Like it was just, he just took advantage of a very vulnerable person. Of course.

So to this day, there's no evidence that he actually ever stepped foot in Iraq, despite this many years, like decades of acting like he was some sort of like Iraqi consul member right and like was hosting events at Arlington like it's just so banana so there's no proof that he had ever stepped foot in Iraq but when he finally returned to Georgetown he began walking the streets in uh the Iraqi uniform which is an olive uniform with a red beret so he just started wandering dc i can't believe this i'm sorry he's just this the most ridiculous flamboyant person i've ever met like out of control and he's like in his 20s like he's not like an eccentric old man who's like earned the right to be an eccentric old man which i am on my way to doing by the way which like someday

we will be those people but i feel like at least we'll be nice to other people right but weird as shit and abusive no yeah terrible and a compulsive liar and totally all this narcissistic etc so once again things like he's back in georgetown things escalate at home surprise surprise viola is now 90 years old uh still terrible and they're still together yes so he's 40 ish now uh yes okay yes he's 36 36 yeah um wow look at me go wow wait is that right no fuck that's wrong well if she was 70 when he was 26 and now she's 90 he's 46 yeah that's what i meant fuck i was so proud of myself i was like wow look at you doing simple math and i was like oh never mind good not great that's so sad it's okay you've got your two beers in today why did my parents pay for my private education the world will never know something i ask linda every single day i'm like

why did you do this i do too um okay once again things escalated at home but i was 90 at this point although she knew that um i would like to monitor her emails and even sometimes send emails under her name to people like would just go in her account and like email people um she was too frustrated with technology to create a new account so she like just was like whatever got it i'm just gonna keep using the one i have over the years she had lost touch with many friends and acquaintances because of albrecht um they all hesitated to invite her places for fear that albrecht would come to yeah her church even banned him from entering the building wow it's like when a church fucking bans you right so at this point a lot of people had called albrecht out on his shit obviously so he spent most of his time at home uh he would lounge

on the couch drinking most days would frequently send viola long nasty emails from the other room berating her telling her how her from the other room yeah like in the same house yeah because he never left the house so she would be like in her bedroom or whatever and he'd be like in the living room writing her nasty emails and the emails berated her told her how her accomplishments meant nothing he was the only reason she had ever had any success she amounted to nothing so everything you ever did before you even met me is because of me yeah got it or it was worthless that's logical doesn't matter right and like she's just a piece of like he's just emotionally abusing her left and right on top of physically abusing her right um so on one afternoon in 2011 albrecht met up with a friend

he had met on craigslist you know how you do okay in nebraska uh the friend didn't drink but albrecht got belligerently drunk and ended up staggering to his, well, Viola's house, I guess. Staggered home at 10 p.m. Oh, wait, this is a fun fact. He called their home, so his name was Albrecht. He called it the Albrechtory, like a rectory. I hate that I love it. I don't want to love it.

I hate it because he invented that he was like all these weird titles and shit. But if there was a way to name like like my place after me i would find a way to do it i mean there is like your wi-fi name like just you do that that's true just like do that like how ours is like geo's house or whatever just like do that yeah or it used to be in our old apartment mine's marnie mcwifly oh well see that's good you're good i know no we need No need to change it. You're right. You're right. Ours was Gia's house for a long time. I don't know what it is here. I think it's Wi-Fi E4568 or something clever like that. So if you see that on your Wi-Fi, you might be a neighbor.

Okay. So the Albrechtory, he's just, it's not even his house, by the way. Like, that's the thing. It's not his house. He doesn't look like he lives there, but it's not his house house by the way like that's the thing it's not his house he doesn't look like he looks like but it's not his house so he had gotten so drunk that his friend wrote him an email saying like this friend he met on craigslist said i really don't feel comfortable meeting up with you ever again wow because like you were so out of control just to give you an idea of how fucking belligerently drunk this guy got so the very next morning on august 12th so that was that night he met up with the friend got belligerently drunk headed home to the albrechtory very next morning on August 12th, so that was that night, he met up with a friend, got belligerently drunk, headed home to the Albrechtory. The next morning, police got a call from Albrecht. This was August 12th, 2011.

Albrecht called the police saying he had returned home from his morning walk to find his wife Viola's body on the bathroom floor. Oh no. At this point, she's 91 years old, so police assume it had been a fall. But the medical examiner quickly realized that Via's scalp was bruised her thumbnail was torn sorry just go on you talked about spines i will talk about fingernails and the cartilage in her neck was fractured oh my god she had also been strangled and they determined she had been strangled and bludgeoned to death as soon as uh viola's death

was ruled a homicide albrecht said she was killed just buckle up albrecht said she was killed as a result of a failed iranian assassination attempt on him get the fuck out of here he's such a piece of shit oh my god then he presented family members with a letter stating that he would collect 150 thousand dollars upon his wife's death. He's like, look at this letter I found. Bingo. Here it is. Wow.

What a surprise. It took the police only four days to collect enough evidence to arrest him. During that period, they forbade him from entering his home. So instead, he slept in a Georgetown park wearing a perfectly tailored houndstooth blazer. Oh, my God. Such a fucking nut job. a perfectly tailored houndstooth blazer oh my god it's such a fucking nut job um so let's do a quick run through because like throughout the trial he was just an absolute nightmare whack job like just so beyond nightmare whack job and so i'm just going to give you like a little run through of

how he behaved during the preliminary hearing albrecht shows up in his orange prison jumpsuit with a popped collar and insisted on keeping the collar popped like he's like he's a 12 year old in 2005 or something he just learned what era postal remember the double the double collar pop oh that was a bananas time i've been trying to forget that for two decades well welcome back to puka shell land oh help me um during his first appearance in court he complains that corrections officers want him to wear underwear saying quote i am a serving officer in the iraqi special forces oh my god with it we don't wear underwear and they're like what what the hell his second appearance at court he announces that he would serve as his own attorney which we always know is a really good sign i mean it's my favorite way to do things yes we always know that the most sane people do that

it's exactly how you get out of everything exactly it's most effective most effective be your own attorney real attorney shouldn't even exist no what's the point of them why when you got yourself when all these people can do it themselves there it is i would like to hire him as my attorney also oh did you hear he's a special force you get him i get ted bundy oh hell yeah done second appearance in court he announces that he would serve as his own attorney and that he would begin, quote, an unlimited fast. Great. For what point?

Nobody knows. When doctors pleaded with him to eat, Albrecht told them that he was following orders from the Archangel Gabriel. I'm going to lose my mind. They needn't worry about his ability to survive because he was comparable to a camel. Was he? He said he was also comparable to Jesus. I... I'm telling you, he's just fucking derailed like at this point i hope even he knows he's like i'm i've lost it

he's like i'm not okay i just closed my eyes and like threw myself into a hole and it's like whatever i'm just gonna close my eyes and whatever image shows up first is gonna be the next thing i talk about camel camel right and there's jesus um right so he's a camel he's also jesus so he doesn't need to eat because an angel told him to not that's the least crazy things he's said by the way and like the least harmful thing he's done to anybody else which is just beyond so on thursday january 16 2014 a jury deliberates only about three hours before finding albrecht moot who's now 49 guilty of beating and strangling social aid journalist viola herms drath he was sentenced to 50 years in prison oh so basically death uh well

he's only well yeah i mean it depends on parole i think but 50 years i don't think it's too long he's in his 40s so got it yeah possibly possibly life depending on his genetics depending on if he ever fucking eats again right right and his genetics um the story he's jesus like who cares right that's true walk right out of iron bars i mean as far as i know he's friends with archangel gabriel so and camels and camels so like and eye patches he's got everything covered um the story of viola drass murder is currently being made into a movie called georgetown oh or there's like two titles working titles yeah two working titles uh it's either georgetown or the worst marriage in georgetown well they're both accurate on the nose uh starring and directing starring and directed by my boyfriend christoph waltz

which when we did this live uh the draw and that's where i draw was christine's boyfriend we got quite a few weird i remember there was one with like plays and then they drew like a German speedo. It was like a whole thing. I remember. And, uh, I don't know if this was the same place where we covered the story, but, um, one of the DC shows are, and that's why we draw was phallic worshiping. And wow. Do I regret that?

I've never seen that many dicks. I think that might've been the same day. Cause there were speedos in mine. Penises galore in yours. Just, oh my God. So many penises. It was it was a yeah it was rough sausage fest sausage that's what we that's what our working title of our podcast yeah it was originally called sausage fest fun fact yeah we're still considering going back to that we might go back i mean after the next hundred episodes we'll just do a little like throwback title i don't think anyone will notice if we

change it no not at all right so that is the story of the murder of viola draft i love it it's i hate it bonkers isn't it but i love it like i didn't even know that existed until and i lived there i mean you lived there like i'd never heard of it before um and it's pretty recent so yeah crazy i did have a horoscope that i had written out for that show love it um so uh what's his name I almost called him Christoph Albrecht we're not talking about your boyfriend anymore okay oh damn it I want to though um so Albrecht was a Taurus is a Taurus he's still alive um born May 10th okay so listen up the most nutritious breakfast you could have today is a big bowl of bravado oh my goodness

if you step out into the world acting like you own it by the end of the day you just might oh my word i think he actually did read this horoscope i think he actually i think he's the one who said this in the mirror to himself as his daily affirmation he wrote this no he took viola's fucking email account sent it into like there it is the daily the dc he's like i have a hunch that you should say this he's like washington post here now i write this is viola i wrote a horoscope actually the the iraqi war told me that uh that you should say this there's this iraqi angel that came to me it's a whole thing yeah um treat yourself like the mover and shaker you hope to be and others will see you as such hit a 45 minute vinyasa flow class or settle back in the massage chair and enjoy a power nap and a

pedicure don't let drama at home seep into your nine-to-five maybe take a trip to a farmer's market to pick up some dark leafy greens oh my goodness and seasonal goodies like beets and squash okay well the end kind of derailed but but the beginning was pretty spot on but also wouldn't he derail it's very him so it's like bravado and squash you know and also it is telling him to buy a lot of food and like he is fasting as far as i know true so like maybe maybe it's like it's still on the nose eat a fucking piece of lettuce perfect anyway so that's the story of viola drath that uh we covered in november wild wild well thank you for that thank you guys for listening to our stories and our very long rant in the

beginning but we had a lot to say to you we did um thank you so much for everyone listening if you want to reach us or find us or stay in touch with us or keep updated with anything we want to do 45283 and you're here marty mcwifly and the password is plutonium you gave yours too um but uh if you are interested in keeping up with us, you can find our social media on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at ATWWDPodcast. You can also find our website, and that's babydrink.com. You can look up our tour dates on that website as well, and that's babydrink.com slash live.

You can also send us emails, and that's babydrink at gmail.com. And if you would like to submit your personal true crime and paranormal stories, you can do them to that email. And maybe they will be in the running for our next listeners episode that we do at the first of every month. Right, March 1st, coming up. And also, please, please, please, we have a lot of shows coming out, especially Florida right now. In March, we have a lot of florida shows and i don't even think i think only maybe one of them is sold out i don't even know if none of them are sold out so there's tickets to all of them so some of them also have meet and greet vip passes so like please

check those out because like that's pretty awesome usually they sell out pretty fast florida is not showing up like we want it to guys let's sell out let's do some cool things so otherwise we can't go back exactly the the we've said it before and it has really worked in the past of you know because we have sold out so many shows in certain cities it's pretty much guaranteed we're going to go back to those cities at some point so if we don't sell out certain places in florida we want to be warm we want to be warm in march let us go there again please so please help us out and uh we appreciate you listening to us every week yeah thanks guys we're so happy that you're here and we will be back that we also do that noise that's why we