And That's Why We Drink - E115 A Digital Butler and Walls Full of Secrets

Episode Date: April 14, 2019

We've got a surprise for you this week, creeps and peeps! We're bringing you our Milwaukee and Asbury Park, New Jersey stories retold from the studio! Tune in to hear Em cover the haunted Pfister Hotel and how they surprised Christine on stage by covering the hotel we stayed at. We may also have experienced our own creepy happenings in the grand hotel and at the very least saw some ugly cherubs. Meanwhile, Christine tells the extremely chilling tale of the Watcher House of Westfield New Jersey, a story so mysterious and scary we would NOPE out of there so fast... and that's why we drink! Please consider supporting the companies that support us!  Try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com/drink To get $80 off your first month of Hello Fresh go to hellofresh.com/drink80 and enter code DRINK80 at checkout  Get 10% off your first Brooklinen order when you go to brooklinen.com and use promo code DRINK Get 15% off your first ThirdLove order when you go to thirdlove.com/drink

howdy how i was gonna say howdy were you oh my god howdy how do you do how are you doing i'm okay i am hungry what else is new i guess nothing new is the answer to that. I'm fine. We're in the exact same status that you've all heard us last week. So yeah, still hungry. Haven't eaten this entire time. Still haven't got my couscous still waiting. Still in the same spot. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm doing okay. We're're i'm getting excited we're about to go out and do our big old tour we have a wild week ahead of us um i also wanted to add speaking of live shows we have a couple shows coming up in ohio and i'm very disappointed in my home state because i'm disappointed too because listen christine's always talking about how wonderful you people are and

you're really fucking it up you're really making me doubt what's going on i know this is the first time that eva and m are coming well i mean i'm came for the wedding but cincinnati sold out so good job cincinnati but that's right columbus and cleveland are slacking and cleveland's a big venue so we need to get step up the game a little bit here we don't want to we don't want to lose out on those and i don't want i want to impress m and eva with the with my ohio roots so i want to be impressed yeah m always wants to be impressed no pressure christine but i'd better be impressed m's like stat m's uh shit what's the word oh i don't know m's bar is just set very high and so it's hard always hard to reach if you guys don't

know how extra i am by now shame on you also i mean the let's just remind you guys as well that um the situation has not changed yet since this is our still our first year of touring where based on where we are able to sell out tickets means that we will be able to come back right right if we if our tickets don't do too well in a certain area chances are that means we're not going to be doing a venue there again so don't leave me ohio i want to come back so everyone if you uh hope to see us again in the future you got you got to commit today man come on we really want to see you guys um i also wanted to say one thing before i forget is that in the listener episode a lot of people and this is like a total 180 sorry oh okay

a lot of people what the fuck was that was me re-combobulating i didn't like that was did you have to re-combobulate from that sound no i'm you've sent me into a spiral and i don't think there's any way to return awesome um we what was i gonna say oh yeah some people heard it worked you really fucked me up with that uh some people were hearing like a growling noise did you hear this people i heard yes i was aware of it guys it was me sliding my kombucha on the table. Mm-hmm. I just assumed it was like geo or my stomach. No, it was me and my kombucha. Oh, all right.

Because it's like right as I start saying a sentence and I'm like, it's this table and I like lean over to drag it toward me. I see. I hear that, but I know that from an outside perspective, it sounds like a growl. So I'm sorry. I know a lot of people are messaging us about it being like there's a demon. There probably is, but that's not it i'm sure there is also a lot of people have been letting me know i've been saying pascagoula wrong or pascagoula because it says they said like ghoul oh pascagoula uh-huh um yeah we've done a lot of things wrong so i don't know why anyone's

surprised welcome to episode 115 where things have not changed. Listen, we gave you a, I'm losing all my words today. We gave you a certain level of quality and we never promised we'd go above it. Right, right, right. We've accepted it. We promised you one out of a hundred. And from until now you've. To be fair, we've matched our promise. Thank you. Yes. We've, we've come, we've, we've been keeping up our end of the bargain. And for some reason y'all are still here. So I don't know what to tell you what the hell does your shirt say by the way is it say dummy physical education oh summit it should say yeah the way that it was literally my gym shirt the the s was hidden and part of the i was hidden i thought in the t i just saw my face

and then you saw words underneath that's exactly what happened i thought it said dummy physically literally this is from eighth grade it still says oh i know i know you went to summit well yeah but it's not from high school it's from eighth grade like as in i still own clothes from when i was 13 it's fine wow but also bra von fitting into it and like gym clothes like it's not like i have like a cute shirt that i still have it's like a gross i don't know what a cute shirt at 13 would look like on a 27 year old woman though you You're right. Like one of those floral peasant tops from forever 21. Then again, who am I to judge?

Cause every. What? Claire? No. What's that place called? Delia's? Limited to limited to. Wow.

Sorry. Okay. Uh, I mean, I actually, I said that out loud and I was like, I don't know if that'd even look good, but now I stand corrected because like everyone's rebuying Lisa Frank stuff.

That's true. So nevermind. I'm ashamed of my own lack of fashion sense. Yeah, you need to get it together. Speaking of fashion sense, I really like your pants. Love a good blue red combo. Old Navy pajama pants. So I'm really living up to my one out of 100 promise that I gave.

I'm wearing these joggers that I recently got at the outlet store that I'm in love with. I do like them. They're the comfiest. They're comfy, but they look like trendy like jogger style yeah i feel like you're just hyping me up because these are definitely a size too big so they look more baggy than like joggers are supposed to and so i feel like they look like i'm wearing pajama pants even though my goal was to look trendy tapered like thing at the bottom i see it's in now i feel like i was trying to be comfortable without looking sleepy and because i I got a size up, I still look sleepy. Well, I mean, you always look sleepy and hungry. That's

kind of the point. That's pretty, I'm just always like, if I were to like snow white dwarves, it would for sure be sleepy and hungry. And I'd be dummy. Yeah. Dummy physical education. I don't even think hungry existed. I would just be that. I would just be the eighth. Yeah. I guess hungry didn't. It should have. I don't know how it didn't i don't either anyway anyway um i think that's all oh duh the most important thing of all there's still time to vote on the webbies uh for us please please please vote we have a few days left to vote if you have it that would be amazing if you could it's so i don't i don't know who is aware of what a webby is and who isn't, but it's pretty much the highest award you can get on the internet.

It's a really, really big deal. Yeah, they call it the best of the internet, so it would be a huge honor. It would be super cool to be able to say that we have a Webby. Yeah, and put it in the studio with the demons. Plus, have you seen what the Webby looks like? Yeah, it's really cool. It's such a cool looking award. You would get a statuette if you win.

So. Oh, my goodness. And also, we get to go to New York for the show. So that would be awesome. I mean, the ceremony. And it's hosted by Jenny Slate. That's pretty baller. Who, by the way, is a one of the characters on Big Mouth.

Right. And then was she Marcel the Shell? Yes. Yep. So if you remember Marcel the Shell, Marcel the Shell is hosting. I mean, that's ultimately the best of the internet which by the way should have also won its own webby did it not it should have um is it too late to nominate them marcella shell for 2019 um yeah so that would be really cool if

you guys want to vote it's bit.ly slash atwwd vote all one, all lowercase. Yes. Bit.ly slash ATWDvote. So that would be super helpful. You've got to verify your email, too, once they vote. Oh, yeah. That's very important. Please go check your email. It might be in your spam folder. It might be.

For me, it was in my just. Like main inbox. Main inbox. But please go verify. Otherwise, the vote does not actually process. Yes. So thank you, guys. I know a lot of you have been voting because we are currently knock on wood in the lead so we're super proud of that anyone who has voted you've

taken our breath away and you've made our moms very very proud yes you have especially that most importantly at the very least our moms are very proud of us renata and linda are very pleased right right right anyway thanks guys oh i wanted to say one more thing about the webbies so we're up against ret and and Link, Ear Biscuits. I've told everyone I know about this. Please share your story. Wait, you just told you know about my story? I know about your story.

Oh, well, okay. Here's the thing. Before we started a podcast, I was applying to jobs here in LA and I applied to a job with Rhett and Link and I went through like four rounds of the interview, met them and like went to their offices like met them and like went to their offices a few times and like spent a day there and I really thought I was going to get this job right and they were wonderful and like the office was super cool and it was to be their assistant right yeah to be an assistant and it was they were revamping their new podcast

or their old podcast that they hadn't released in like years so they were like oh we're revamping ear biscuits and like we need someone and I was like oh that sounds super interesting yeah i got really far and then i just stopped hearing from them at all and i was like oh so i called and they were like well we've decided to put that position on hold and we'll let you know soon like don't worry we're still considering whatever and then i just never fucking heard and i was like so devastated honestly so fucking devastated i remember you, really wanted that job. I was so I was so close to I was like, this is going to be my new career. Like, it's so awesome.

Anyway, it didn't happen. And I don't have any like bad blood with them or anything. I just think it's really wild that like, yeah, I was in that position of helping them with their podcast didn't work out. But now like our podcast is up with them on the same. Yeah, it's really cool. Anyway, but I love them. They're great guys. So guys so i don't mean anything yeah we're not trash talking no no no no but i just thought that was like such a weird like vision boardy lucid dreaming

coincidence i think because i think more in like an alternate world of like no matter what like podcasting was going to happen for you right well because either you would have worked with them and you would have been there eva yes exactly we got got our own Eva and have a podcast that is like equally acclaimed. That's so wild. Anyway, yeah. So I also thanks, kudos to them because if I'd gotten that job I don't know if I would have been able to start this show. Right. Yep. Anyway. Thanks for

ghosting Christine. Thanks for literally ghosting me. For having her own ghosting podcast. Yeah, we'll smooth that out and come up with a better but I like it. We'll edit that in post. Yeah, we'll smooth that out and uh come up with a better but i like it well we'll edit that in post yeah edit that in post thank you anyway so i just thought that was kind of a fun little coincidence anyway do you think they remember you i don't know we emailed a lot like about the job afterward and i met them several times but i don't know if they would like i mean i don't think

offhand they know got it that i'm the co-host of the podcast or anything i see i think maybe if we met in person but i see who knows maybe jenny slate will uh reunite us i mean marcel i mean marcel uh jenny slate she plays um do you follow big mouth the show do you watch that show i do watch it i haven't finished the second season she plays the little nerdy girl right i believe so i'm looking it up now because i'm sure but that that girl reminds me so much of what i imagine allison was like in high school oh god where she like she says it uh there's like in the first multiple episodes she's talking about like mesopotamia and stuff i'm like that's this allison thing oh god like no i don't want to go to a party. I want to learn all about Mesopotamia. Wait, which?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Missy. Missy. Missy does remind me. And she always goes, Mesopotamia. Poor Allison. Oh, I think about little sweet Allison all the time when I watch Big Mouth. Jenny Slade is the best.

And that's one of my favorite characters, too. Yeah. Anyway. It's a good one. It's a great show if you guys haven't seen it. So is Marcel the show. It is. If you have some boundaries and, like, what you want to say to your kids about puberty and sex just make them watch big mouth because uh and then get ready to have a lot more talks

about it because then get ready for them to have even weirder questions yeah and then you'll just wish that you could have talked to them from the beginning oh my that's our uh campaign speech please vote for us thank you right our our own smear campaign on ourselves maybe i'm not sure um okay cool well that's that's where we are now huh that was a fun little rant i was just listening to our previous episode on the way here yeah and um it was funny when we were like oh well i guess this is the first time we're never gonna banter and then true to form i was was like, never mind. I have something to say.

Which, by the way, let's do an update on who wants to be a superhero. Right. Cell phone girl is no mas. No. She did not make the cut. Not cell phone girl. No. Can you believe it?

I like snake. I like solitaire and using a stylus. I play big brick breaker. I like pressing a button three times to get the letter C. I tried to explain that to my sister and she's like, I don't know what you mean. Do you remember T9 texting? Yes. That shit was useful. That was crazy.

I, hmm. Anyway. Moving on. Uh, we are down to, I think, five people left. One of them has become a double agent and is now the supervillain of the show. Oh. Very interesting. Really? Which he was destined for.

He was a grade A dick. Okay. Well, there you go. He's living up to his true potential. Okay. Yeah. So we're down. Our favorite is still in the running.

Who is it? Major Victory. We love Major Victory. Okay. Major Victory is playing the game. Like he is doing all doing all the cheesy shit. And you can tell he's doing it on purpose. He's also playing the superhero role when he thinks the cameras aren't running, which is very nice.

Because someone was having a breakdown and he immediately was just so warm and kind to them. And we were like, even if he doesn't mean it, he knows. He's playing it right. He's playing the game right. Interesting. So we like major victory you guys love when we give updates on shows that are 10 years old that you also don't know anything about care about i love it yeah it's super fun well that's why we have a podcast listen you guys

are fucking you i told you one out of a hundred you can press next don't please don't god don't don't we love you we'll know okay moving on that anyway we're all hoping for major victory currently um should i tell a ghost story oh wait you expect me to go like at a live show right i've just been i've just been like fed an ego at this point and now i'm like you're presenting it to me as if i'm supposed to like i'm like the fact that you're not like hooting and hollering for me is kind of offensive all right we'll see how you react when i tell my story then. I'm going to go. Okay. So you're going to like this story.

One, you've heard it before. But you're also going to like it because we will have a pregame story. I'm sure. Okay. I don't even remember. I know you said you were going to do the Milwaukee story, but. Yes, I am doing the story from the Milwaukee Life Show. I don't don't remember what it is sorry i don't even remember what mine was you will because it was uh the one where i surprised you on stage oh my god you guys and it so here's the

thing i just so i never really talked about this so i I don't keep people questioning. It is the story of the Pfister Hotel. So what happened is I had already done my notes. I was feeling really good that I already did my notes in advance, which, by the way, never happens. Yeah, we know. And then all of a sudden I get an email, like a hotel confirmation email from Christine saying, Oh, by the way, I guess it's time I let you and Eva know that like we're staying in a really really haunted hotel and it said welcome to the Pfister and I was like oh my goodness she picked uh-huh she picked a hotel that I'm literally covering on stage and then I texted Eva and I was like oh well poor

Eva we were both texting you at the same time by the way I texted Eva and I was like hmm we should figure out what the most haunted room is. And then we should call the hotel back and say, hi, I'm Christine Schieffer. Shut up. I just made reservations, but I wanted to change my room to the most haunted room available. And the two other people that I'm staying with, they can be in normal rooms. But I personally, Christine Maria Schieffer, want to be in the most haunted room. She has such a butt head.

And thena nervously laughed and i was like okay she's not on board and so you're like i have to do this all by myself and so i was like okay i'm not gonna do it if i'm the only one like i needed eva to make like to take the brunt i needed someone to throw me under the bus i need someone to to help me in my mischief but i felt alone the thing was i hadn't booked a hotel and i was like well i know i'm gonna fucking cover this hotel because everyone's emailing us about it and it's like one of the most haunted places in in milwaukee and i was like but it's also like in our budget it's the nicest spot i can find and it's haunted and i was like it'd be fun to stay but i was like okay i

have to text eva and be like can you please let me know if i'm doing this story because yeah i don't want to like you know ruin the whatever or like right make it awkward that like oh we're staying there tonight in front of a whole right i don't know so i was like should i do it i don't know and he was like oh i'll find out and then i never heard back and i was like i just have to fucking book it so i was like okay i know what i'll do i'll aggressively tell em hey we're staying at this hotel that's why i sent you that email with ghosts and emojis yeah yeah i was like i don't know what else to do i fucking knew it but then when we were there you like were so you

played it off so like nonchalant that i was like maybe it's not i was trying to play nonchalant because i was like at the very least i you don't have to know until we go on stage and you can be surprised like everyone else no i really was surprised and then we were saying like and then i was talking to eva and i was like i really really want to say on stage that we're staying there, but I don't want anyone after the show to show up at the hotel. So I was like, what do we do? And so I had Eva change, because we do have, we have code names also that we're not going to say, but we do have names. Mine is Major Victory. Shit.

I'm cell phone girl. Mine's cell phone girl. No, we do have names that we use when we check in so that just for security if anyone were to try to call and say hi i'm m schultz or i'm christine we know 99.99 of people would not be weirdos about it but we know that there's one percent who just might 0.001 and so uh we in our in our contracts when we're checking into hotels, we don't use our current names, our actual names. And, uh, but in this case we hadn't done that.

And so I told Eva, I was like, okay, maybe it was her idea of like, maybe I can change the names, um, back to your code names. And then that way,

like if someone looks for you later, like we were, we were dancing around how I could like actually tell you on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so then we ended up getting on stage and i told you in front of everyone but what was funny about it is the night before when we were all staying at this hotel yeah it also is

known to like it's really beautiful and it has this like massive steakhouse in it and i the second went bonkers the second we heard steakhouse everyone even christine everyone just stared into my eyes and knew that that was where we were going to eat they were like they have great seafood and it's an awesome steakhouse and you're like well i was like well i'm in martini so i was like well we're good so we went there and the whole time christine was like yeah this place is like really haunted like here are some of the stories like truly by this point i just assumed that like eva forgot to text me and like right to ask and and well so then apparently this whole hotel has a history of the baseball players that stay there yeah being haunted before anyone

else and so i had this whole article that i used in my notes of like the 12 best stories from baseball players and then christine at dinner not knowing that i had these notes not knowing that i'm covering this hotel uh is like yeah this place apparently like a lot of baseball players get haunted here like here let me just pull up something real fast and then she was like oh look at this website like top 12 best stories and i was like fuck she's telling me my notes just like ignoring me and i was like fine what an asshole i was trying so hard to not have a reaction and he was like interesting and i was like am i just boring the shit out of you guys god damn the whole time i was like kicking eva under the table no but uh i was

the only reason i didn't want you to read those notes because then like you were already aware of information and like i wasn't gonna get to surprise you on stage i tried to read them and then no one seemed interested so i just closed it so i didn't actually read it it actually ended up being fine on stage because then i was like oh you, you know this one. This is the one that you liked a lot. And then it worked out. I do. Yeah. Anyway, that all being said, this is the story of the Pfister Hotel that Christine.

Cell phone girl. Thank you. Is mildly aware of. Oh, right. That's CPG is very. Solitaire lover is aware of. Okay. I'm a brick breaker gal, but it's brick breaker i had a problem i got on the

national well how could there was like three games you had a choice of i got on the national leaderboard in high school to the children listening you're not impressed by my national leaderboard no wait what i got on the national brick breaker leaderboard wait that is way impressive like legitimately i think i heard you say it and then in my head i was like she couldn't possibly say that i was 18 like to like put myself on the i'm not even kidding i was like oh anyway that's way impressive the only thing that i ever did that i'm proud of just kidding that should be on your resume it is well it's on my zip recruiter profile oh my that's why retin link uh almost hired me wow what a brick breaker like genie this one is um so uh well i don't know i'm sorry blown away now uh for the children that are listening and don't even know what we're talking about at one point

phones first of all they were flip phones first of all they had cords attached to them yeah oh yeah way back when also you had to spin a big wheel to get to whatever number you wanted videos where they try to make kids dial and they're like i don't and they're just like poking it uh no are the first smart we need to have i guess they weren't cell phone yeah the first cell phone that we had the screen was black and white and you had three games to pick from and uh that was it had any games that was all the entertainment you had i had snake i had snake actually i think that's all i had maybe that's all I had. Maybe that is all I had. I remember there being another one that I just never touched. Yeah. Anyway.

And then if I hit the internet button by accident and then globe would come up. Oh, everyone would freak out. That was the fear we all experienced. Because it was like my mom would be charged like $40 for opening the internet on your phone. Truly. And it didn't even work. For opening the internet for 60 seconds, it cost like 50 bucks. The panic was so real.

Or minutes. Yeah. Kids these days don't even realize kids these days kids these days i can't i can't text anymore i can't call anymore i don't have any more minutes oh god can i borrow some minutes somebody in the last episode was like wow christine really has baby fever oh i heard about that fuck allison and i had this whole conversation when we were at bed bath and beyond yesterday i don't get it i don't know what you said and i said I'm taking my birth control. Right. That's the opposite.

Exactly. I went back and listened. I was like, what did I say? And then I listened and it was like, hold on. I have to go take my birth control like immediately. I can't wait. And then I was like, speaking of children, Geo tried it. Yeah.

I was like, maybe they misnomer. But then she responded and said, oh, it's because you called kids cute. And I was like, what kids? And she's like, the kids on that show, MasterChef Junior chef junior so because children are cute all of a sudden we have baby children far far away who are very talented chefs maybe are cute and geo let me let me like be a uh a firsthand uh witness to this neither of us are trying to at all have babies anywhere in the near future i have enough responsibility, unfortunately, with you. Let's put a stop to that right now.

Yeah, I just was worried because I was like, my family wasn't that. Did I say something like by accident? That sound, you know, I got paranoid anyway. So I'm sorry. While we're at it, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon. And before more people keep tweeting at me, I am not at all planning on proposing to Allison anytime soon. You put really weird, awkward pressure on us.

I think it I personally think it's a weird thing that people get married so fast. And the fact that you're going to commit your entire life after knowing them for 20 months. Yeah. I'm, we are very aware. And trust me, like if it happens, you'll know. So don't worry. There's no secret. Like we're very much in the agreement that if we plan on spending forever together, why

not wait a couple more years until the wedding happens? Yeah if we're waiting forever anyway if we're gonna be together forever anyway we're gonna be here like it doesn't matter when the wedding happens we're stuck here in burbank anyway well currently things are on the up and up that her and i are we're not breaking up but there's no wedding happening so please stop tweeting me and i'm not having any i'm not pregnant don't worry we'll make sure you know because we can't not we can't keep our stupid mouths shut why are people guessing anything about our lives we tell you so directly every time someone guesses something i'm like oh my god is that true and then i'm like wait it's about me oh my sorry i didn't mean to yell at everybody no you're fine i just haven't even gotten to the first bullet major life anxieties that sometimes we see on twitter we're like hold

on yeah all of a sudden we see tweets now about us that we haven't even said. And we're like, don't tell my mom that. I'm like, wait, what? Anyway. Okay. Hi. Sorry. Oh my goodness.

Everyone fucking hates us. Oh, for the record, it's they, them. Oh my God. Let's just, let's go. Let's fucking go. It's they, them. I'm so fucking sick. No more ladies.

No more women. Oh my God. People just make me want to throw my phone. M is they, them. I'm so glad we can finally more women. Oh, my God. People just make me want to throw my phone. M is they them. I'm so glad we can finally say that. Oh, gosh. In case people couldn't hear it in the last hundred episodes, I don't know how people are like, hey, ladies, love your show.

I'm like, well, yes, you clearly don't love it enough. I'm not pregnant. M's not getting married. And M goes by they them. I'm also not a fucking girl. So let's just put that out there. OK. Are you guys still are you mad at us now?

I don't know. I don't. Are mad at the ladies who uh are pregnant and married so i'm gonna go cook a casserole hold on uh okay so fister hotel okay uh it opened in 1893 it is very very ritzy it has been called the Grand Hotel of the West. It makes me feel douchey for booking it for us, but... See, I thought of like Fievel Goes West, like the movie. Oh, that's a great movie. And we can attest to how ritzy it is because when we first got there, an hour into checking in, all three of us got a group text from the hotel's digital butler. Digital butler.

Let me tell you, cell phone girl was very happy. I was like, this is my shit. And that is the joke that you should just, that is the highest, that is the coolest joke you've ever, that was good.

That's it? That was good. Shit. That was so witty. I've peaked. That was, yeah, you've peaked. I quit. For sure. Cell phone girl girl if she ever got a

text from a butler she'd be like game over game over i win uh but yeah so we got a text from a digital butler and at one point i can let you guys know with certainty that the digital butler works because at one point i texted him and i said hi butler i'm hungry and then the butler replied would you like some chocolate cake or ice cream and i'm pretty sure part of my soul is still inside of the fizzler hotel i just yeah you're gonna haunt it forever i couldn't spiritually leave after someone so perfect is there for me i wanted one of those so it was founded by a father and son team named Guido and Charles Fenster. Guido. Which, while on stage, I did realize that Charles Fenster is literally Chucky Fenster.

Yeah, you said that and it didn't occur to me. I wonder if one of the creators of Rugrats is from Milwaukee. Maybe this is like a little Easter egg. I did not meet the creators of Rugrats in my in my interview rounds because it doesn't exist anymore uh guido is a german immigrant who is also also a wealthy tanner and planned to create the quote people's palace okay and so he and chucky finster um wanted an elegant hotel quote where the lobby could be the grand living room oh and indeed it is grand there's like cherubs all over the ceiling oh yeah and we kept pointing at all the cherubs being like oh

that one's you christine that one's you christine well you're that one the ugliest baby's you christine diaper with one eye closed uh so guido the dad he died before construction even started but charles went forward with it and ended up spending $1.5 million to have it built, which in today's world is $26 million. Okay. Small potatoes. Yeah. Shit. It has eight stories, three of which are the lobby, by the way.

Whoa. Okay. It's made of mainly limestone, marble, and granite. It has towering bay windows. It has a ceiling fresco with all the little ugly cherubs that are all Christine. And then an additional 23-story tower. It also offers restaurants, a hair salon, a drugstore with soda fountains, a men's and ladies but no non-binaries lounge. Sorry, Em.

And a clothing store as well. It also has a grand ballroom that was uh it hosted president mckinley's first dinner with his cabinet and a lot of really important people have stayed here including presidents prime ministers princes actors and athletes and us and us well most importantly i was trying to figure out which one we are we're not prime ministers we're definitely not athletes we're not princes shit whatever we're and guests is what we are plus ones we're definitely not athletes we're not princes shit whatever we're and guest plus one we're etc it is the hotel is also the winner of the triple a four diamond award it's a historical landmark and it is the home to many visiting sports teams mainly the mlb the baseball

teams yes it is also ranked 10th on travelocity's country's most haunted hotels oh see i didn't even know that learning things every day from me whoops uh where are we oh so there are apparently many deaths i would assume at least that have happened in this hotel because it's over 125 years old so i'm imagining someone has died there people are like living their day in day out basically right someone's someone's going to die. It's just the law of nature. It's just how things work. But the hotel has been very good about being hush-hush about it,

so it was really hard to find any death records. I watched you ask the lady, Miss Stephanie, at the front desk. Oh, Miss Stephanie. She has an iron trap for a mouth. She was like, what are you talking about? I was like, Miss Stephanie, how haunted is this place? And she was like, oh, I don't know. And I was like, Miss Stephanie, don't is this place? And she was like, oh, I don't know. And I was like, Miss Stephanie, don't play with me. She's like, I really have no idea. And you were like, wink, wink, have no idea?

And she was like, I just don't know. She was like, no comment, no comment. By the way, then Eva and I were checking out. And then I saw Miss Stephanie. And I was like, I think this place is haunted. And as we were leaving, she was like, people have seen things. And I went, Miss Stephanie! And then she just faded away.

No, she was absolutely not giving away any information. I mean, in front of you when we were checking in. I could tell. She was just like, I'm not going to say a goddamn word. Exactly. And then as Eva and I checked out, she said, people have seen things. Oh, man. And I was like, ooh, you sneaky woman.

Yes, yes, yes. You waited until we were leaving uh-huh anyway shout out to miss stephanie i hope she doesn't listen to this episode you do uh she'd be very confused by now so don't worry she's gone so uh if you ask the hotel like we just said they are quick to deny any activity and have said no comment and have also been asked not to be quoted okay oh too late sorry i'm stephanie sorry uh that being said that being said like oh there's no ghost there's no ghost that being said the main ghost reported by guests is of charles aka chucky finster chucky seen on

the rugrats no yep 1995 he's uh seen on the staircase um looking out to the lobby pacing above the ballroom roaming the ninth floor storage area and just in general around the halls okay so we see in all those places he's described as older portly smiling and well-dressed oh and this is where we created that joke where he probably looks like the Pringles guy oh wait yeah I don't remember I'm trying it's all about a monocle it's all flashing back to me oh because because one of the words often described for him is portly oh portly and so I think at some point I said he looks like the Monopoly guy in my mind or like maybe the guy on the Pringles can but older monocle but like kind of round right yes I remember at some point during the live show we made a sex

joke about the pringles guy that was probably you that sounds about right yeah it sounds like you i don't know what happened i remember having a blast saying it though or oh wait no wait you're right i said it because i was so mortified that's right i it's i'm literally just sweating thinking about it i said something like once you pop the fun don't stop or something you said that oh i don't know we'll go back and listen i don't know don't you guys love when we try to remember jokes that you weren't there for i just remember hearing you say it and then losing my goddamn mind because it was so funny and then i remember going so red that like my face felt like it was on fire so it was it was one for the books i'll tell you that shows are rough because we cannot rewind this is you can by the way in case you haven't figured it out this is us like our wheels turning where we're like

didn't that happen we don't know we're not kidding when we tell you we don't really remember the stories i have any idea um so many people say that they have seen his spirit um and then like many will see his spirit and then they will look at the paintings downstairs in the lobby and see a portrait of him and then be like okay they'll be like oh who's this guy i just saw him upstairs and then they'll be like that's the pringles can you can't walk out of the community like why why is there a portrait of a pringles can down here uh many people in their personal rooms will see shadow figures and strange lights and also their electronics will malfunction they have heard chains dragging yeah no which i don't know what that's about nah i certainly don't like it they

also hear hearty laughter oh that hearty laughter that was part of the pringles joke wasn't it yes but i don't recall i don't either shit it's like a bad bad case of like blacking out oh god something about the pringles can laughing at you. And something about sexual activity involved as well. Yikes. Yikes. So you hear hearty laughter, knocking, banging, boot stomping. And you can also hear animals like dogs and cats running and scratching in your room. Ew.

So like when you're sleeping, you can hear pacing and scratching against your bed. Gross. Yikes. Yikes. People have also seen a man standing slash cowering slash sitting slash staring at the end of your bed in the middle of the night and if you're lucky he'll also push or grab you oh the cowering thing is very terrifying like staring at you and like hunkering down yeah and then grabbing you nope firm pass nope um so most of the experiences here happen to professional baseball players

as you told me over a fine piece of steak um and the spirits seem to have it out for baseball players specifically and the theory is because charles finster was a big fan of the milwaukee brewers and it said that his spirit tries to intentionally disrupt the sleep of players on visiting teams to help the Brewers win. So that they'll have like a shit game later. Yeah. Oh my God. That's kind of hilarious.

It's like a curse. It's a good curse. It's a cool curse. It's a fun curse. So many players visiting Milwaukee have voluntarily stayed in a different hotel than their teammates when they find out that they're assigned to stay at the Finster. Fister. Fister fit fister yeah sorry i just get paranoid about i just always hear chucky in my head now chucky fister me too uh so some that some of them have decided not just to stay uh those who decide that they're not going to move to a different hotel, a lot of them say,

okay, I'll stay at the Fester, but I absolutely do not want to stay alone. And so they like buddy up and stay in similar rooms together. Precious. Precious. And so there's a, on the show, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Joey Lawrence, wasn't he one of the Lawrence brothers? Like Andy Lawrence, Matthew Lawrence? I don't know.

I don't know. That was like a Disney thing. I have no idea. I wasn't like cool into Disney. I was a Nickelodeon child. I hear you. I hear you. You're just saying that in case you're like old boss of Nickelodeon.

I hear you. I say everything. The paranoia is still around. In case my old boss is listening. So Joey Lawrence is a celebrity who was on Celebrity Ghost Stories. And he talked about his time at a hotel that may or may not have been the Pfister. However, visual

cues on the show very much imply that it is the Pfister. Plus, apparently, if you go and look at the actual description of that episode, it will say in the description, the Pfister Hotel. So, the post-production editing PA

was not on top of it was really under caffeinated that morning probably got fired up a little bit apparently this story happened while he was touring with Dancing with the Stars okay and athletes yeah oh that'll do it a lot of athletes uh and so joey says that he and his wife kept being woken up to lights turning on and off he also kept being woken up to their babies uh baby's toys going on and off and they were not motion censored they had to have been pressed by something and then when he finally thought that all of that was like kind of dying down for the night dying the bathroom lights turned on by themselves forcing him to get up to go turn them off. And when he went to go turn them off, apparently some of the baby's toys not only turned on

again, but then fell on his foot in a way that suggests that something pushed them onto his feet. That's rude. I think, just thinking about like, it sounds so inane, like, oh, the lights turn on and off. But like, if I were asleep and the bathroom lights turned on, my first thought would be like, someone's in the room. Oh, there isn't it's like well then it's a fucking ghost like yeah it would scare the absolute shit out of me lights don't turn on by themselves

yeah unless there's like some weird wiring unless there's like an electrical issue which sure it's possible but if you're already it's still jarring it's very scary very scary because like basically the the first thought is something or someone is in my room right it's like it's either a murderer or it's a ghost uh so so apparently when leaving joey said something passive-aggressive like when they were checking out the next day said something passive-aggressive to the ghost and uh at that same time when he was insulting the room, the cover on the metal air conditioner flew up and off and at them. Oh, shit. It's like the big air conditioner wall unit.

The metal cover flew up. Oh, shit. Okay. Joey then told the staff, and they basically said, oh, yeah, that's the ghost of a pregnant bride that haunts families with children. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

So apparently there's a story that there was a pregnant bride oh that's me sorry oh right right right right uh who was thrown down an elevator shaft oh no by her husband okay never mind and that being said like i said there are probably many deaths that occurred at the Pfister Hotel but there is no murdered bride on record okay so whatever story he heard may or may not be true it's a legend sure but there is no murdered bride on record okay so whatever story he heard may or may not be true it's a legend sure but there is a really good article that i found this is one of my favorite stories that came like one of my favorite testimonies of ghosts that came out of this research is that there is a blog called ghostly activities i highly recommend it apparently it is

a husband and wife duo and their whole relationship is just touring different haunted places and blogging about the dream that's exactly what i'm trying to get allison to do that's i remember we said this on didn't we hold hands at some point we were like oh wait we can do this together we said this is this is basically our job already right oh we know we said when allison and blaze realized that they should leave us right then we you and i will just get married and be the next bloggers. Ghostly adventures, too. Or what's it called?

Ghostly activities. Close enough. So the husband's name is Tom. And usually I'm pretty sure it's the wife that's always doing the blogging. And she just talks about Tom's experiences. Okay. Tom sounds like the Aaron in that Zach and Aaron relationship. Oh, poor guy.

Because all of a sudden she's always like, Tom was in a closet by himself. I don't know how he got there. I may have locked him in. I don't know how he heard footsteps and chains dragging. I just know that I wouldn't let him leave the room until he heard that. So Tom apparently checked in and he unpacked. He put his toiletry kit in the bathroom and he ordered room service. But the first call had lots of static in the disconnected.

The second time the call kept cutting out. And 10 minutes later, after both of those phone calls were like they were being really faulty. And the phone didn't look like it was weird. Gotta text the butler, man. What are you doing? Homie, maybe that's why they created the butler. Oh, oh, shit. Maybe because the phones don't work anymore. gotta text the butler man what are you doing homie maybe that's why they created the butler oh oh maybe because maybe because the phones don't work anymore maybe there was no butler oh

so our blog is gonna be so good it's gonna be like filled with potential lies at every turn nightmare it's like is it real is it not like we'll be our own no sleep reddit we'll just be eating the whole time right yeah uh so yeah so he calls room service and both times doesn't really work then 10 minutes later there's a knocking on his door and so he's thinking like maybe that's room service but like that's way too fast yeah so apparently the knocks on the door were three very light taps which is extra creepy creepy which by the way um eva i know you're listening right now you also knock that way thank you very spooky you i just give the tiniest can you say in case she's listening as oh i know she's editing the

episode eva's little knocks are so like respectful to a scary degree but because they're respectful they're so quiet and then like i do that thing where i'm like like did we really hear that like did that fucking happen okay i'm so glad you said that because i am always like oh my god this is this these are like normal knocks ready these are normal people knocks right this is how eva knocks yeah yeah it's like it's it feels like it's coming from the wall it feels like it's coming from all around you and then i i feel and then all of a sudden i'll look at the people and i'm like eva better be fucking standing there oh yeah anyway anyway eva a psa to eva sorry we love you you're not and then all of a sudden she's gonna be like well fuck you guys and then when we're in devour

we're gonna hear herself into the door oh no what have we done i'm sorry she's gonna be like is that less scary yeah how do you feel she's gonna show up at 4 a.m and just start banging on the door i'm gonna be eating my words for sure so uh oh yeah so tom here's a little tap tap tap so apparently he is hoping eva's on the other end of the door it better be either room service or eva but then he looks out the people and nobody's there uh and then you hear like eva's little laughter from the side like god so he goes to the bed he turns off the he goes to the bed he hears knocking again goes up nobody's there again room service finally shows up and he says hey is there anybody on my floor um like maybe kids or something that are you know not messing with me yeah yeah and the room service guy pretty much said like you're one of the only people on

this floor and none of them are kids um and everyone else staying on this floor is far away from you so like yeah so you're like on your own he was like back in la sorry haven't heard anything so after he eats his food he goes to bed he turns off all the lights turns off the tv and as he turns off the tv um he's using a remote and presses it from afar as you do. Quote, as the screen faded to black he saw the silhouette of a man reflected in it. And it was not his reflection by the way

to all the dads out there listening. That's called a mirror. That's called a mirror. So Tom says, quote, the figure wore a hat one of those German hats with the little feather on the side. But that could make sense because that could be either charles or it could be the dad um guido because they were both german immigrants it's guido so which is like the most italian name i don't understand yeah it's always off when it's always off when the german has a very italian

name guido i mean like or like an italian man named hans right right right so he went to the bathroom i don't know why he didn't leave but he sort of went to a cab and he just back to the airport he went to the bathroom and then when he got to the bathroom he saw that his toiletry kit had fallen from when he put it on the bathroom sink when he was unpacking no uh the contents were all over the floor and apparently he had it pressed up to like the wall and he said i hadn't left the room and my kit was zipped shut so somehow it had moved itself across the counter opened itself up and then fallen did he hear that nope oh which is even creepier yeah that is creepier because he hasn't even left the room and somehow he heard it somehow

you didn't hear this no which means it didn't want him to hear it absolutely not it wanted to find it intentional yep once i've been cornered in the bathroom uh so 11 30 ish uh all of a sudden he's lying in bed he feels a pressure on his chest and he can't breathe well leave the room wouldn't get warm and in the middle of the night he heard a deep laugh oh oh oh he checked the clock and it said zero zero as if like as if the power had shut off and then reset itself and he sat up from feeling this pressure on his chest and looking at the clock he sat up and saw a shadow figure at the foot of his bed oh god and the clothes that he had unpacked quote flew off the bench and hit him in the face way scary yeah awful as if like something's literally throwing your clothes you being like

get dressed get out of here get up right so something pushed him down on the bed he heard the laughter again he got up and ran to leave but the door wouldn't open no this is nightmare when the door wouldn't open apparently he muttered something under his breath, but then he turned around and it was warm again and the lights were on and the clock now read 3.33 a.m. As if like three hours have passed. Fuck. That's super creepy.

Yeah. Or the clock literally just changed itself. Oh, no. So Tom switched into a different room. I don't know why Tom didn't go to the Motel 8. Because his wife wouldn't let him. Right, right. She was like, you gotta stay. She was like, I gotta do it for the blog. uh so tom switched into a different room i don't know why tom didn't go to the motel eight because his wife wouldn't let him right right she's like you gotta she's like i gotta do it for the blog story do it for the blog do it for the blog so uh so that's tom's story okay and that article

is ghostly activities they always have a really cool story so terrifying i highly recommend them yeah um so the next thing all i'm gonna say now are the ghost stories that you were reading to me at the steakhouse. Ha ha. Ha ha. Oops. Most of these stories come from a 2013 article in the ESPN magazine. The ESPN magazine actually wrote an article specifically about the ghost encounters that athletes have had at the Pfister Hotel. Okay, right.

So apparently that's what this article is. So most of the stories that I'm about to read are from that. Some of them are other ones I found online. Sure. But if you're trying to read some of them yourself, you can find that article. I should have heard reading these stories to an audience and every baseball team was either boo, woo, yeah, boo. Definitely a playing ground for pandering.

Yeah, exactly. A trial and error error if you will so the first one is uh carlos gomez from the minnesota twins and he said that he got out of the shower heard voices in his room and he saw someone walk by in the corner of his eye as he got out of the shower then he saw his ipod turn on by itself and quote shimmy across the table vibrating wildly falling to the floor so it was not an iphone it was it was an ipod which by the way children they don't vibrate just do you remember ipods no well like they don't have a vibrates there were no games on that either by the way no there weren't do you remember the first time an ipod came out and you

could put your own pictures on it yeah remember ipod video which by the way are now called the original ipod yeah i did see that i that blew my mind because there are so many that that were around before the ipod video but we're calling that like generation one oh or something which one's the original now that like the ipod video is like the oldest old school throwback one really Cause it was the first one with an led light or LCD lighting probably. Oh, cause it like, it was the first one that wasn't black and white. Oh,

well the iPod nano. Yeah. We could talk about this forever. Everyone's like, what the hell is that? Damn it. If you had an iPod nano, by the way,

you were the coolest fucking person on that field trip bus. I'm telling you what. Okay. Thanks. Did you have one i did but i was so jealous of you got it's a whole thing about an eye river i'll tell you another day oh my so uh his ipod okay which is like archaic at this time yes his ipod uh was vibrating and then fell onto the floor not cool he picked it up and put it back on the table and it did the same thing at that point it would have left and uh played and then it played but it played gonna give you

no it played uh static oh okay which by the way ipods don't do way worse and then it changed to another song without him selecting it and at that point he was running out of the room to the lobby in his towel oh no he was quoted saying i'm room to the lobby in his towel. Oh, no. He was quoted saying, I'm scared to go there. The hotel, in hindsight. I'm scared to go there. The managers should change the hotel. Why do they always put us in this hotel where you can't sleep?

Everything's scary. Oh, no, bud. It's such a defeated. Everything's scary. I don't even care if it's about this hotel. Everything is scary. That's some shit we would say. Listen, everything's scary. We have no other comment.

And that's why we drink. Thank you. Exactly. So the next one is, I'm going to just fuck it up. Jimon, Jimon, Jimon. G-man. Sure. Choi.

Okay. He's a Milwaukee brewer. And he said that he felt someone in his room in his bed on his chest and he woke up to feeling it sit by him on the bed and then he watched the bed form an indent where someone was sitting oh no he said i was scared at first so i didn't want to open my eyes but i've dealt with that a lot after that i've dealt with that a lot more times after that which means like he's what do you mean apparently he just experiences ghosts all the time normal he's like oh yeah well that's usual again then oh rats i'm very chucky finster attitude so uh really i would think the chucky finster would be to like flee from anything

he would be oh that's yeah sorry i meant more like oh no not again right happening to me very defeatist very defeatist he was like my little uh self-deprecating guru at five years old exactly uh so the next is colby lewis who's a ranger okay uh he said that he saw a quote skeletal apparition oh no he apparently went to go see the team chaplain afterwards and he even missed a radio appearance the next day because he was so freaked out about what he saw that's the one i read at the at the table i'm i'm confused about what a skeletal apparition is because i'm like is it a ghost of a skeleton kind of like a cartoony thing me too like a little creepy but like a little dancing bone yes correct yeah i don't know it sounds sure i'd be very terrified if i saw that right but i don't I don't know. It just sounds horrible. It sounds horrible.

Next is Giancarlo Stanton of the Marlins. And he said, quote, Man, I hate when we have four games. Oh, no. Because two, three, anything's better than four. It's freaky as shit with the headshot paintings on the walls and the old curtains everywhere. I like how he's complaining about the curtains. Yeah, really?

Everyone else is like, wait, I wish that were my biggest problem. It's like how he's complaining about the curtains yeah really everyone else is like wait i wish that were my i saw a skeleton problem it's like i wish i hated the curtains uh it reminds me of the disneyland haunted house okay so he's in another world i think he's from florida he sounds like he's like i'm relating this to disney i'm not really so from what his quote says it sounds like the longer you're there the worse the activity becomes next is your guy brandon Phillips from the Cincinnati Reds. I cheered and everyone booed and I was like, fuck you guys. It's my show. Brandon says, quote, I came into the room and just sat on the bed.

Then for some reason, the radio turned on. So I turned it off and got in the shower. And when I was done, that motherfucker turned back on. Super creepy. Super creepy. got in the shower and when i was done that motherfucker turned back on super creepy super creepy then i do remember that our rooms had or at least mine did had like a big old i home speaking of like old technology had like this big clunky i home right right right then was adrian beltray of the dodgers and uh he said that he heard knocking in the hallway and on his door he checked but nobody was there and then the air conditioning and the tvs both switched on and off by themselves

and while sleeping he woke up to something banging on his headboard ah oh god quote like a man hitting his open hand against the wood oh oh oh that's scary like absolutely someone is intentionally trying to wake you up and. Yeah, that is terrifying. Apparently since anytime he stayed at that hotel, he sleeps with his baseball bat, which I don't blame him. I don't either. I don't. I know you like can't actually hit something that is like not solid.

But like if it makes you feel more. Yeah. It's like I'll at least come at you with my bat. I have a weapon. I used to sleep with a hammer when I was scared when I was little. One time. This is I don't even know if i want to say this out loud i one time i it was like one of the first times i ever had a a night where i was sleeping by myself in my my house yeah in my mom's house it was like the first night that she ever trusted me to be there alone and i got so

scared that like on my way up i just like brought a knife just in case. But then like in the middle of the night, apparently I thought I heard something. Oh no. And so I grabbed the knife and then I like, this is what I'm assuming happened. I must've heard something, got scared and then fell asleep. And so the knife was in the bed with me. No. And then in the middle of the night, I must've stretched in a weird way. And I just like stabbed my entire hand.

Oh no. Like the, apparently the knife was under the pillow. then like I like put your arms put my arms in the pillow underneath the pillow and then like your mom comes home and your bed's just like covered in blood you're gouged the here's like the most m part of it though I absolutely stabbed the shit out of my hand this wasn't a little stick this wasn't a little cut I like stabbed my fucking hand yeah and I woke up from being in a lot of pain and i saw there was just blood all over my hand and my arm and i was like i'm too tired i just went back to bed i was like oh no i was like i'm fine like i i mean worst case scenario i'm just i

just keep bleed out in this bed i just keep the blood like it wasn't like bleeding out clearly it already stopped bleeding right and so in my mind i was like either i get up and wash it off now or i sleep another hour and then i wash it off then like i'm clearly fine i'm okay do you still have a scar no i don't think so that's terrifying it happened like 10 years ago but yeah so then after that i was like okay i don't even trust myself with knives no especially when i'm sleeping i wouldn't either but yeah that was i i mean in hindsight i was such an idiot like why would i ever put a knife in my bed i would do but i was also like i think 13 when you're scared at that age like you're scared oh yeah yeah this anytime i heard

a sound i was like well here we go i'm dead i just had a big hammer i don't know what the hell i was at least the hammer didn't freaking hammer didn't turn on you like my knife did. Seriously, that could have ended really poorly for me. But yeah, I remember doing that. And I remember being like, I'm not going to tell my mom. Did she not find your bloody sheets? No, she didn't. We had cleaning ladies. Oh, great.

Just to really make myself look worse. Love this story. The cleaning lady was like, cool. Someone just bled out on this pillow. Oh, the cleaning lady was like cool someone just bled out on this pillow the cleaning lady was probably freaked out um but yeah i remember being like if my mom finds out then she's not gonna let me sleep by myself in the house anymore so i can't tell her she's not gonna let me sleep with that knife anymore it's been like 12 years so i think it's it's fine that i probably let her know now okay sorry linda my mom has probably pulled over and is

hyperventilating um so uh oh yeah so he sleeps with a bat we slept with a knife and a hammer right interesting why not uh so the next one is car that's two of them carlos martinez and marcel ozuna um of the cardinals oh this was the this was the good one okay so they posted a video on instagram and it's in Spanish. So it's been translated, but, uh, they posted a video on their Instagram of them in the hotel, in their hotel room or in a hotel room. And apparently they had just seen something. They just saw a ghost. So they posted this video and translated into English. It says, we're here in Milwaukee. I just saw a ghost in Ozuna's room, he saw another one.

And then as he then says, we're all here. And as he says, we're all here, he turns the camera to show the hotel room that he's in. And like half of the baseball team is in the room. Oh, no. With their pillows. Oh, they're all like just like duck and cover fetal position. Oh, no. We're in Milwaukee. I just saw a ghost.

In Ozuna's room, he saw another one. We're all here. We're all in Peña's room. We're're all stuck here we're going to sleep together if the ghost shows again we're all going to fight him so we're gonna fight him with our bats we're gonna fight him with our pillows oh no and so i thought that was just like the ultra bromance it is it's like a little slumber party it's like if we're going down we're going down together that's precious then the brewer's clubhouse manager also said that there was a guy who woke up in the middle of the night and saw

his blinds and windows open and shut open and shut open and shut. Because that's not even electrical. You can't like blame that on like. And that's not even the wind. Like when your window goes up by itself. Yeah, no thanks. He shut them but then woke up in the morning and they were reopened. Nope. Then Bryce Harper of the Phillies

said that he laid a pair of jeans and a shirt on the bench at the foot of his bed he woke up the next morning to the clothes on the floor and the bench on the opposite side of the room against the wall ew and those are heavy things firm pass again absolutely and the fact that it's happening so quietly while you're sleeping like it doesn't want you to know it just wants you to wake up and be scared super fucked up next is cj wilson of the angels he said that he was on the computer one night and when the lights started flickering um he oh here's a quote he said the lights all shut off and then the tv shuts off and then the light turns back on but the light at the front door turns off so it's just like fucking with him right right right so he while working on his computer, he yells out, really? And then he went back to the computer and 30 minutes later, they're scratching on the

walls. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Cute. Cute. Cute. And then he said out loud, can you please just leave me alone? I'm really trying to work here. And apparently he has, uh, he was, I didn't put this quote in, but he was quoted saying

something along the lines of like, when it comes to ghosts, it's just important to be direct and let them know what you want. and i was like okay thanks for the advice tip that led to scratching on your wall right right right so he said uh are you kidding me can you please just leave me alone i'm really trying to work here then so the scratching stops and then the lights start going crazy okay and then he yells are you kidding me i don't want anything from you leave me alone or write it down write down what you want i can't communicate with you through the lights he's just like dunzo with this he's like i don't want anyone to have any doubts about this experience he's like

not even scared he's like just write it down he's like you're pissing me off just do what you want so the next day he told his teammates and apparently they all felt really ill apparently they'd all anyone who had experienced anything felt really ill the next day so the next day he told his teammates and apparently they all felt really ill apparently they'd all anyone who had experienced anything felt really ill the next day so the next day he told his teammates and they were like oh yeah well oh apparently that was his first experience at the fester got it so then he tells his teammates and they're like yeah well that happens all the time people get locked in bathrooms the lights turn off by themselves and people see shadow figures and then he was like oh okay so this just happens all the time cool glad i was like oh thanks thanks now i'm glad i have the awareness you're inviting me to the slumber party

where you all were hanging right god and then finally there was michael young of the phillies and he was quoted saying fuck that place oh no i was lying in bed after a night game my room was locked but i heard these footsteps inside my room stomping around i'd heard all all these stories about this hotel, so I was wide awake at this point. Yep. And then I heard it again, these footsteps on the floor. So I yelled out, hey, make yourself at home. Hang out. Have a seat.

But don't wake me up, okay? Aw. Which is, like, so nice. That's, like, the opposite of the other guy. That's also, that sounds like what I would like to. Right. If I were brave. The ideal response. It's like, you can hang, but don't wake me up. That's, like, what I think I would say, and then I would like to. Right. If I were brave. The ideal response.

It's like, you can hang, but don't wake me up. That's like what I think I would say. And then I would absolutely not. I would just cry. Right, right, right. Or like call you or something. So then after that, I didn't hear a thing for the rest of the night. I just let him know that he was welcome, that we could be pals, and he can marinate in there

for as long as he needed to. Marinate. Just as long as he didn't wake me up. So, I mean, that's nice. At least that he was just like, we can be homies, but i got my things to do and you got your things to do you do you you can hang out in here as long as you need a little getaway yeah use the bar soap there's an extra little one anyway that was the story of the fester holy shit well i didn't have any scary experiences there i don't think i think that was the hotel that i

had an experience because then i remember going down and talking to miss stephanie the next day and being like you lied girl what happened remember um i said it i think i said it on stage oh yes i wait yeah i do remember that night i can't remember if this was the fister we've stayed in a lot of hotels in the last like month uh i think it was the fister though because i remember oh yeah yeah i was because it was the moment I joined doors with Eva. Yeah. Yeah. They were hanging out the whole time without me.

Sad. Talking about you with the butler. The butler was talking about you, too. Yeah, I know. So in my hotel room, I heard footsteps pretty much all night, like heavy boot stomping footsteps. Cool. cool and then um originally the scariest part of it was in the beginning i heard um footsteps that were like pacing the perimeter of my bed so it was starting like at my left by my face no no no then walking down to my feet then across the foot of my bed and then back up to the right side of my

face and they kept pacing my the perimeter of my bed and i literally i did not say hey come hang out you can do whatever you want just don't wake me up uh what i said was no thank you oh no and a giant whisper oh no and uh and so then apparently it kind of got the hemp but didn't really get the hemp because then i heard footsteps all night but on the other side of the room at least they went a little further. So it's like, thanks? I think the fear for me, if it was going right around my bed, would be that suddenly it would like drop on the bed. That was a thousand percent my thought.

I was like, okay. It's right there. It's like a predator circling its prey. Or like a cat that's about to plop down. Right. Or that. Or that. But like, holy shit.

But yeah, so I heard that. And then I woke up the next day. And I heard, I didn't hear anything. But the morning i woke up and i my room had two beds and one of the beds i had not touched and there was a massive like imprint as if someone had been sitting there next i'm so glad you told it to go away because it could have been sitting on your bed oh i didn't even think about that but anyway i showed that to eva the next day and i was like by the way i did not cause that my other bed had an imprint because i dropped a black bean burger on it and then had to switch to the other bed oh so so that one might be on you that was on me but anyway so those are my stories oh frick holy shit

that place was cool though yeah it's a really neat hotel. Way cool, man. Way cool. Way cool. Way cool. We know what's cool, so. That was illuminating. Illuminate. Oh, yes. That's my transition sentence. I love it.

I love it. After we pause it. Those ads were illuminating. What do you think, guys? Oh, that's right. Those ads are pretty illuminating. I think you should buy every single thing that we just talked about. Everything we said, just trust us on.

Yeah. Okay. Cool, yo. Here we go. So I have another story for you that I did ages ago at a live show in New Jersey. We've been to New Jersey? Oh, yes. It's been a long time. We sure have. Oh, my. That was one of our... Don't even tell me. That was Asbury Park. Yes. That was like one of our... Oh, tell me that was asbury park yes that was like one of our was oh no that was in january i was back in january i thought it was in november never mind well whatever november was dc philly new york right okay new york not new jersey so

it was january for sure so january um i did this story it is the story of the watcher house yes spooky this one gets me i'm so happy we're covering stories again because like this one i wanted to do for an episode so badly but it was super fun to do i'm so glad that we also agreed to do i do i feel bad for the people who are at the live show and like this might be like a story that you already heard so maybe you don't want to listen to the story but that does not mean that we're always covering the same stories we did at that same show so like just like how i just did milwaukee and you're doing new jersey yeah we don't there's still something to enjoy that you haven't heard before and um part of it i mean and it's so good this is such a good story and creepy ass story this is when everyone deserves to hear

which is why we're doing things like there are a lot of people who have said like can you please release this episode this episode i want to share this one that you like to the show, a lot of them want us to release that. And since we won't release all the live episodes, because most people throw fits. Right. It's, I feel like it's more enjoyable to just retell the story. Yeah. Because also, I mean, truly, like, I know the Watcher House

because I remember that being one of my favorite ones you've done live. But I also obviously do not remember all the information. So this will be interesting for the thousandth time we are not retelling it just for you to learn we are also telling it so I can hear it again because lord knows I don't remember what the hell happened in January I couldn't even remember we were in New Jersey what do you think I thought it was in November so so by all means carry carry on okay here we go so this is the story of the watcher house um and I got a lot of this information from New York magazine's The Cut.

And they wrote this like super long in-depth article about this in the November 12th, 2018 issue. And so that, like if you want to read the full fucking story, it's in there. And it's really fascinating. So, okay. So 40 miles south of, I wrote here, which presumably was Asbury Park. Okay. 40 miles south of Asbury Park in westfield new jersey june 2014 the broadest family derrick maria and their three young kids close on their dream house in westfield

new jersey for 1.3 million dollars it's a six bedroom four bathroom colonial located at 657 boulevard oh that sounds like a lovely place to be beautiful it's like the neighborhood is considered like one of the safest in america and like very uh hoity-toity posh you know love a good hoity-toity love it i was raised by cleaning ladies i was like yeah you love a good hoity-toity in the hand the second i got a text from a butler i felt like i was back at home you're like oh my god it's you i've stabbed myself in the hand in my sleep and I can't get up. Okay. So Maria had been raised in the town or in that neighborhood only blocks away. And Derek had grown up in a working class family in Maine, but had worked his way up

to senior vice president at an insurance company in Manhattan. So it's like this American dream story. Like she's from like small town. He was from small town. He like built up his career and they got married, had kids and moved into the suburbs and bought this beautiful house gotcha etc i hear you um so westfield itself is like i said very well to do idyllic family oriented in 2014 which is the year that uh the broadest has moved in westfield was named america's 30th safest town 30th 30th wow yeah and there's a whole lot of towns in this country probably top 30 is quite an achievement 30 is pretty impressive i don't think i've ever lived

anywhere that was top 30 probably of anything especially your childhood definitely not safe oh my gosh our childhoods were so different i know i had cleaning ladies and you had crime i had hammers yeah oh boy and then i went to my dad's and went to the country club for dinner so it was a weird you also went to summit for high school yeah wow you have such a conflicting life i know my therapist you need you need to write a memoir no it's so interesting guys being christine's friend personally i still learn every day something new i'm like was this when you were poor or rich or poor and looked like you were rich or I never I know to be clear, I never looked like I was. So across the board, that never

happened. Right? You just looked emo. I'm literally still wearing my eighth grade gym uniform. So I think if that tells you anything, yikes. Sorry, it's always an adventure with you. Oh, God. Well, I'm glad I can provide something for at least I least I'm never... I'm always mentally stimulated. That's for darn sure. Okay. The Gemini in me is just thriving being your friend. That's what I aim for. Oh, never boring.

Okay. So, right. So they move into this super, like, idyllic family neighborhood, and they move into their dream house. Three days after moving in, Derek is finishing up an evening of painting when he decides to go check the mail. There are a few bills and a white envelope addressed in thick, clumsy handwriting to the new owner. It already sounds like a Lifetime movie. I like how fast it starts.

Yeah, it's just like right in there. And it starts with like, oh, white picket fences. And then a letter arrives. It's the most cliche but creepy thing. Right. It's very lifetime so far. It is, yeah. Okay, so the note began, dearest new neighbor at 657 Boulevard, allow me to welcome you to the neighborhood.

The letter continued, how did you end up here? Did 657 call to you with its force within? 657 Boulevard has been the subject of my family for decades now, and as it approaches its 110th birthday, I have been put in charge of watching and waiting for its second coming. No, you don't. I have chills already.

My grandfather watched the house in the 1920s, and my father watched it in the 60s. It is now my time. Oh, my God. Why are you here? I will find out. Goodbye. Goodbye. The second I get that letter alone, I'm'm like i know we just got rid of the

u-haul bring it back put everything in come back to manhattan right i feel like i'd be i'd literally see an envelope that says the new owner in like handwriting and i'd be like fuck this oh you wouldn't even look on the inside i'm burning this place you'd be like the new owner and the last owner see you never again um but so probably most frightening about the letter is that they talked about the kids so it said you have children i have seen them so far i think there are three that i have counted are there more on the way it gets worse do you need to fill the house with the young blood i requested or was it greed to bring me your children once i know their names i will call to them and draw them to me who am i there are hundreds and

hundreds of cars that drive by 657 boulevard each day maybe i am in one look at all the windows you can see maybe i am in one look at all the people who stroll by each day maybe i am one the letter concludes welcome my friends welcome let the party begin signed Signed, The Watcher. Oh, my God. It's so fucking terrible. Okay. If you, I could have just like not, I would just skim that letter, not even look at the contents of it and just seen that it was signed by The Watcher. Exactly. Game over.

Let the party begin. Let the party begin, The Watcher. Let the party of me packing my shit and going begin have your own goddamn party here's the key god like i don't want to be a part of this watch it from the inside alone while we're gone so obviously first things first derrick races through the house he turns off all the lights so it's nighttime so he turns off all the lights so no one can see inside um he's home alone by the way because his family's still at the old house and he's just painting so he calls the westfield police uh then he rushes back to the what his wife and kids who are still

sleeping and they're fine at the old house that night derrick and maria wrote an email to the couple who sold them the house john and andrea woods um and they knew the woods knew something because the letter had said i asked the woods to bring me young blood and it looks like they listened they're like they were like, the Woods have to know. Right. Cause they haven't asked. Yeah, exactly.

So Andrea Woods replied the next morning and said a few days before moving out, they had also received a letter from the watcher. It was similar in nature, but Andrea said they had never received anything like it in their 23 years in the house. So they threw it away without much thought. That day,

the Woods's went with Maria to the police station where the detective told her not to tell anyone about the letters, including her new neighbors, because all of them were now suspects. Right. So they were like, just keep cool and casual. I feel like nothing's happening. Yeah, exactly. It was just like nightmares. And they didn't know any of their neighbors yet,

so it was like all these strangers that they had to be normal around. So two weeks later, Maria stops by the house to check the mail. Big mistake. I wouldn't even. I'd send John to do that. I'd send a cop to do that. Yeah, right. I wouldn't send anyone.

And there's a letter, another letter. It says, welcome again to your new home at 657 Boulevard. The workers have been busy, and I've been watching you unload carfuls of your personal belongings. Have they found what is in the walls yet? In time, they will what i don't know i forgot about that part the walls i have chills this is so spooky um the letter identified the three broadest kids by birth order and their nicknames so get out it wasn't like it just looked they looked up the names it was like they'd heard the nicknames that the parents used for the kids so like very specific so uh yeah it says by their nicknames which maria had been yelling anytime the kids went like out of her sight or too far into the

backyard so it kind of it the watcher whatever this person kind of brought up like oh yeah i hear you calling to them when they wander too far out of the yard or whatever and so they are already now when they leave my eyesight they have wandered too far out of the yard or whatever and so they are already now when they leave my i say they have wandered too far too fucking far yeah sit right here um right so there's more to this letter it says so bear with me it's kind of a long line a paragraph but quote 657 boulevard is anxious for you to move in it has been years and years since the young blood ruled the hallways of the house have you you found all the secrets it holds yet? Will the young blood play in the basement? Or are they too afraid to go down there alone? I would be very afraid if I were them. It is far away from the rest of the house. If you were upstairs, you would never hear them scream. Who has the bedrooms facing the street? I'll know as soon as you move in. Then I can plan better. For what?

Yeah, I don't know. Fucking terrible. It's far enough that you couldn't hear them scream. Why? It obviously sounds very sinister and evil and crime worthy but also like deranged like right right right illusionally deranged like freaky yeah um and so oh sorry there's more 657 boulevard is my job my life my obsession and now you are too brought us family welcome to the product of your greed greed is what brought the past three families to the house

and now it has brought you to me have a happy moving in day you know i will be watching so that's the next letter they got and maria's like cool cool cool cool cool cool um derrick and maria obviously stop bringing the kids over at all put move-in day on hold they're like this is too far this isn't a prank anymore like right right fucked up a few weeks later they get another letter that says where have you gone to 657 boulevard is missing you and that's all it said and they were like okay they didn't know what to do they'd already put the money down in this house like they're in bad bad position so right the theories at this point are one that someone is upset over like losing out on the house and that like maybe they tried to they're like pissed that they didn't right the offer didn't go through or something right they they didn't on the house and that maybe they tried to – they're pissed that the offer didn't go through or something and they didn't get the house. However, the counterargument is that the Woodses said they had three offers and both of the other offers had backed out alone.

They were on their own. I mean, it was their decision not to buy the house. One moved into a different house and the other said they weren't interested anymore. So there wasn't any contentious battle for the house or anything like that uh theory two is that someone in the neighborhood was targeting them um especially because they were keeping such close tabs on everything that was going on so they probably live nearby um so considering theory two okay so we have to go back a little bit to when uh the family first so when they first received the letter.

No, when they received the first letter. Sorry. And then the police were like, don't say anything to anyone. So right around that time, they met a neighbor named John Schmidt. And this neighbor told them about a family named the Langfords who lived next door. Peggy Langford was in her 90s and several of her adult children all in their 60s lived with her john called them odd but harmless and described one of the sons michael as kind of a boo radley character so i remember talking about boo radley a lot all the time that was such like a trend like

an in vogue topic in eighth grade it was also very on brand during the live show i remember talking about oh i thought you meant you remember talking about it like in the eighth grade. You mean like during the show? Everyone is such a Boo Radley. I thought you meant in the eighth grade. I was like, yeah, we did talk about him a lot. We did talk about him a lot in eighth grade in general. Right, right.

Oh, so you remember talking about it in the show? I don't remember. Oh, I remember we brought him up a lot. I don't really remember why. I don't either. I don't know. Between him and the Pringles guy. There's a lot of hopefully no more of that weird sexual conversation right um so derrick i don't know why i called him john earlier i meant derrick

so derrick all right whatever just go with it um derrick was like well that must be who this is like if there's a weird guy that's quote odd but harmless kind of boo radley lives next door never leaves the house like that's probably who this is so uh they lived like i said right next door and they'd lived there since the 1960s which is when the watcher said his father began observing the house so that's when they had bought the house so he's like that makes total sense sure um when police brought michael langford in for questioning though he denied any involvement obviously and there was no like they didn't have any physical evidence or anything so besides questioning him there's nothing they could do and he said oh don't worry like he's pretty harmless there's probably nothing that'll happen and derek was like well fuck you like

that's not enough like saying oh i'm sure it'll be fine i'm sure he won't actually hurt you it's okay yeah yeah that's fair threatening my children i don't know i think i can be skeptical he wants my the young blood of my children i think right right he he's planning something something he wants there are things in the walls and secrets in the house and we were drawn in by the force blood in the hallway right right oh fuck yeah so derek like i probably would became obsessed like trying to figure out who this was and he set up webcams. He spent nights crouched in it. I mean, that's like so threatening to like your family and your like, I can't imagine

being. I mean, if I found out that someone was talking about like me and Allison like that. And like watching you and shit. I'd be terrified for Allison at least. Yeah, you'd want to like defend, like figure out who the fuck is targeting you and your family. RJ's on his own. But I mean, me and Allison.

Throw RJ to the wolves. RJ, you can hang out with me and alice rj throw out throw rj to the wolves you can hang out with me and mr white with his big strong muscles he can fight them off his extra ab will just knock him in the face okay but now like okay he is not very active currently on instagram however since he is in the midst of his swimming training right he just had this huge meet that he's been training for for like the last like five months oh my god he went to indiana when we were in chicago actually yeah and um he posted a picture of him after the meet oh and he was like in his little like speedo and wet cap or whatever and there's just like abs galore like they just don't end they're just falling off i think he's ill like there's too many abs anyway i just wanted to give everyone an update on rj's body it's doing

fine something fell was it oh i thought it was a starbucks anyway his uh his body's doing fine in case anyone was worried that it wasn't it's fine it's dangerously fine it's fine it's fine it's just so many abs honestly i just people keep fucking tweeting about it. It's it was a nuisance to me. It's quite a nuisance. I mean, to live with it is just a look in the mirror every day. A reflection. A reflection of what I'm not and maybe could be if I gave one percent of a shit. Someday. No, maybe not.

One day. Oh, boy. So anyway. Right. So he becomes obsessed, much like we we would he set up webcams he stayed up all night watching to see if anyone was outside he researched all the neighbors he hired a private investigator since the police said they couldn't really do anything um the pi ran background checks on the langfords and like nothing came up so that's the family next door uh nothing interesting

came up derrick and maria also reached out to two former fbi agents that they happen to know through like work i don't know they just happen to know i guess they had kind of highfalutin jobs so they happen to know these two fbi agents and one of them actually happened to be the inspiration for clarice and silence of the lambs so kind of they're just like these two badass fbi agents um and they determined that the watcher was unlikely to act on their threats based on like the wording and stuff like that they like analyzed the letters and said uh however the letters did contain typos and errors that uh insinuated that this person was erratic and unstable so they were like as much as we want to say oh they probably won't act on it

like they're clearly not in their right mind and they could change their behavior at any minute they could snap or whatever yeah exactly and they also said there was clearly an underlying seething anger directed at the wealthy in general with like the whole right the greed oh yeah greed yeah um and so they were like that's also worrisome because that kind of makes people act irrationally also like that right that like uh umbrella anger toward just like a whole group of people um so yeah what a wada wada wada um right so meanwhile the police like can't really do much but they're keeping an eye on the langford family um and so as a kind of test the broadest has sent a letter to the langfords announcing plans to tear down the house to see like how they would react interesting um and they

hoped that like maybe that would prompt a letter back because they only sent it to them so they were like oh i see we'll pretend like it's a flyer going out to the whole neighborhood and we'll see like if they respond or if we get a response right from them um but unfortunately nothing happened so that did not give any answers they should have done that individually to each house for a while you're so right and eventually someone would have reacted or given a different letter to each one and then based on the information you would know which house it was shit see we would have been all over this listen i would have found a way to figure out a way to protect my kids yeah not that they didn't no no yeah at the same time i would have been like such

in an anal parent about it i would have been like we're doing it until we figure it out i mean that's what he did he still worked like it's he went like he went complete bananas full-on obsession over it which like what i'm saying i think we would too i think a lot of i think most people would yeah um but yes i mean there was only so much he could do because obviously he couldn't like go out right he couldn't start shouting vigilante right like the police there's only so much that the police could do um so he was his hands were tied in some ways but so he's doing all these little tests so he writes them a letter they don't respond however there is still a reason to consider some other suspects so for one thing police spoke to michael before the second letter was sent um and they were like well if he had sent

two and then two more had come they were like well he wouldn't have sent them because that was that would have been really reckless and they're like well this person's not rational you know obviously so that was a little bit weird um and then there was a fact that the p.i found two child sex offenders within the few blocks of the house so they're like maybe that young blood person right is watching the children so the broadus's house painter had also noticed something strange oh the couple behind the house so like the neighbor in the back um kept a pair of lawn chairs strangely close to the broadest's property he explained one day i was looking out the window and i saw this older guy sitting in one of the chairs he wasn't facing his house he was facing the broadest's good night yes um so basically at this point the family is like it could be anyone

it could be everyone like it who knows they're terrified like everyone seems like they could be anyone. It could be everyone. Who knows? They're terrified. Everyone seems like they could be the suspect. So it's just bad. So they finish renovations and install an alarm system, obviously a really intense alarm system, but they still are filled with dread at the thought of moving in, so they don't. And for now, they live with Maria's family. They'd already sold their old house, so they're completely stuck.

They're stuck. Yeah. And Derek only visits ever to shovel the driveway and check the mail so like he'll come whatever once a week or something and that's that's it then one day he shows up to check the mail and another letter has arrived this letter says 657 boulevard is turning on me it is coming after me i don't understand why what spell did you cast on it come back let the young blood play again like it once did nope sorry let the young bud yet let the young blood play again like i once did let the young blood sleep in 657 boulevard oh shit oh vomitous um so obviously

this took quite a toll on the family also derek and maria's marriage like constant stress no sleep like trying to right figure out who the hell this could be they're not moving into their new house um maria has been diagnosed with ptsd by a new therapist and so they're like completely desperate they uh show the house to show the letter sorry to a priest who agrees to bless the house so So thanks, priest, for one. Thanks, priest. Thank you, priest. Thank you for real, priest.

So they bless the house. They're like, I don't know what else to do. You know, they're trying every possible thing. Six months after the first letter arrived, the Broaddus' decide they can't do this anymore, so they decide to sell the house. They initially listed it for more than they paid to reflect, like, the renovations, because they'd been working on it for six months. But rumors swirled as to why they were selling. So

they had to knock down the asking price because everyone's like, well, they're selling because something terrible has happened and they don't feel safe there. So nobody wants to buy it all of a sudden, obviously. So they had to drop down the asking price. And they also told their real estate agent, we want to share the letters with potential buyers because we don't want someone stuck in our position and then feel the guilt of like right having sold the house and not told them especially if they have a family what good people i know exactly and that's actually um i think i'd probably say this later but that's actually one of the things where people are like oh they made this up to like gain money and it's like it's like they

were trying to protect you but like also they didn't right so people are like oh they made up the letters to like get a tv show or whatever which was like definitely a leading theory but then they wouldn't have shown they wouldn't have like insisted against the real estate agent's advice right i want to show these letters to potential buyers and by the way it scared off a lot of buyers so like they had several and um they actually scared a lot away with that so they were like but they insisted that they wanted to tell that's good next buyer so yeah kind of interesting um counter argument i guess so that obviously did not help them sell it either uh june of 2015 a year after buying 657 boulevard the broadest has filed a legal complaint against the woods is arguing that they should have disclosed the letter they got um and that's when the media kind of picked up the story because now it was like publicly in the legal sure you know sphere hullabaloo hullabaloo is the technical term

um legal hullabaloo so right so unsurprisingly this story went viral um the internet got excited at a chance to like solve a real life mystery which is why it's so intriguing everyone gathering together yeah reddit sleuths right um some called the broadest families family wimps for allowing the letters to scare them many people accuse them of perpetrating a hoax the family got more than 300 media requests but with advice from a crisis management consultant consultant they decided not to speak publicly to anyone to spare the kids and the youngest is still five and they have not told the children yet by the way this is going on it's like how do you explain oh a man is watching you from right so a veteran westfield detective named baron chambliss decided he's going to take over and like look into the case himself um the first thing he did was he looked into michael langford the neighbor more closely the boo radley guy right um turns out michael had been diagnosed

with schizophrenia as a young man and occasionally spooked the neighbors by walking through their backyards or peeking into the windows of their homes oh okay concerning behavior yeah um but before that lead could go anywhere shambles discovered a major clue so they tested the dna on the envelope and it belonged to a woman it took my breath away so they sampled so they were like holy shit a woman has been writing these letters yeah which they did not expect um they sampled dna from michael's sister so the langford sister and maria herself because they were like maybe she's writing them to the house sure to like for a hoax or whatever but it was not Maria's DNA and

it was not any of the Langford women's DNA so that really just like demolished their leads yeah exactly um so then they took a look at the house's history and learned that in the 40s and 50s the house had had five owners in eight years and each and every time it was sold it was sold for one dollar but there was no explanation it wasn't like one time they like granted the house someone for a dollar it was like over and over five times it was sold for a dollar at a time it was very odd they also realized something that they probably should have realized a long time ago which was that around the time um the broadest has received their first letter another new family on the block received a similar one no way and i will say that there was some backlash against the police because

apparently they had not canvassed the neighborhood very thoroughly and had not asked every and this family was like we never heard like nobody ever asked us if we got anything and they just moved down the street. Oh, shit. So it's like, if they had really gone to every house and, like, asked, they probably would have found out. But so this detective is like, holy shit, another family received a letter around the same time. So that obviously confuses things more, as well as this weird selling history. One night while Shambles and his partner were watching the house a car pulled up long enough for them to grow suspicious oh he traced the car to a woman in a nearby town whose boyfriend lived

on the same block as the broadest is huh uh she said so they asked they approached her and asked what was going on she said she he she said her boyfriend liked to play a video game in which he was a specific character called the watcher. Get out. Well, bingo. Ding, ding, ding. Bingo, bango. The man agreed to come in for an interview, but he ghosted them repeatedly, and there wasn't anything legally that they could do to make him come in.

Right. And so it's just another lead that kind of was stuck for the time being. Pretty soon, many neighbors had come to the consensus that the Broadduses had sent the letters to themselves themselves which is terrible to be in that position of like we really didn't didn't do it but your neighbors are turning on you but also there's no way to prove it and right yeah and like you're threatened but like everyone thinks terrible especially because i bet the neighbors are pissed that like the media is suddenly all over the town right right oh terrible um so the theory was that they had suffered buyer's remorse after buying the house uh or realized they couldn't afford the home and uh

then they concocted an elaborate scheme to get out of the sale either that or they were going for insurance fraud or seeking a movie deal a la amityville so there were a lot of like conflicting rumors of course it's a small town everyone kind of has their own opinion uh the broadest did receive several offers for like movie deals but turned all of them down uh lifetime also shockingly enough not shocking at all released a movie called the watcher based on this no way however the broadest has filed a cease and desist letter saying you can't take you can't like use our family as fodder for a show. Right, right, right. They argued that. But then Lifetime said, oh, no, it's a different story because the couple in our story is biracial.

Okay. And the letters were signed, the Raven, not the Watcher. And they were like, every other detail about the story is like. But so legally, they found a loophole. And so. That sucks. Yeah. Yeah.

Gross. So they tested Maria's DNA. Like I said, no match. But a lot of neighbors were still, like, blaming her, blaming Derek. That sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. So they tested Maria's DNA. Like I said, no match. But a lot of neighbors were still like blaming her, blaming Derek. Two years after the Watchers letters. It's been two years now. Two years after the first letters arrived, the Broaddus's tried to sell again. But every time a potential buyer read the letters, they were like, never mind.

Everyone's like, I don't want that. We're not bringing our children here. Yeah. Can you imagine being like, oh, I'm so happy you want to move in it's like oh please wait please move out now i can't wait to come inside yes here's the granite information on the new granite countertops slide those letters in there and be like oh yeah if you look right here ignore all the weird stuff you will see that we have high ceilings oh my god and a garage and the house full of young blood so yes it's fine full of secrets the walls are full of secrets um so they considered selling the lot

to a developer to be like oh well maybe we'll just have it torn down we'll just sell the property get rid of it but of course the neighborhood was like what the fuck no you can't just sell the property and like turn it into condos right um and so that went nowhere and so they were like well we're stuck like no one will buy the house everyone thinks we did it so they won't protect us and they won't let us sell it to a developer so they're like in a completely stuck situation uh however not long after a family agreed to rent the house and two weeks later derek went to 657 to deal with what the renters called a squirrel problem and the renter said oh hey by the, you just got this letter in the mail.

Oh, shit. Yeah. It had been two and a half years at this point. So the letter said, violent winds and bitter cold to the vile and spiteful Derek and his wench of a wife, Maria. You wonder who the watcher is? Turn around, idiots. Maybe you even spoke to me, one of the so-called neighbors who has no idea who the watcher could be. The letter also threatened revenge, saying,

Maybe a car accident. Maybe a fire. Maybe something as simple as a mild illness that never seems to go away but makes you feel sick day after day after day after day. Maybe the mysterious death of a pet. Loved ones suddenly die. Planes and cars and bicycles crash bones break what and that was the threat they got what the fuck so they were like obviously called the police and they're like hey we got new letters but the these did not have any dna on them and they didn't spark any new leads, so the case stalled again.

And as of last, so, nope, not last month, December of 2018, so now four months ago, according to Deadline, Netflix has secured the film adaptation rights to The Watcher House, so TBD, that's coming at you soon. Okay. As for the Broadduses, to this day, they still live in fear of The Watcher. The case remains unsolved, and the house has been taken off the market. So the cut, like the New York Magazine feature, Derek actually, this is the first time he had ever talked to a reporter or anything. And they did like this huge article, a feature on the house.

And this is the only time Derek has ever been interviewed about the house. So that's where most of this information came from. Derek told New York Magazine, it's like cancer. We think about it every day. Oh my god. Recently, the Broadduses received one more letter, one final letter. That letter read, you are despised

by the house and the Watcher won. That is the story of the Watcher. That is so creepy. Isn't that terrible? There's still no answer there's still no freaking clue and like he this derrick guy is like destroyed him like he's tried every angle every yeah oh my gosh the fact that it's still out there and they're still stuck in the situation and like nothing got resolved and now they're in the media and it's like still not turn around you idiot does that mean it's like the house across the street does it mean it's like i know like the people in the backyard i don't know and then i was like um

i could be one of the neighbors who says they have no idea what you're talking about right oh that means you've talked to them before probably fuck i don't know it's so beyond spooky and like what is the point of those letters anyway like it's not like this person is getting like what are they getting out of this it's not like they i don't know it's terrible i don't know it's terrible horrifying so that's that and we'll see what happens i really hope something gets i hope it gets solved at some point i would be very intrigued to know i would love for that to be something that resurfaces and they figure it out me too also that it may be a woman yeah yeah the dna indicated what the writer was a woman which super interesting too and then i was like oh my god it has to be maria

the mom or whatever right like didn't match her wild anyway so yeah i hope maybe the movie will like spark some more interest like re reignite the i feel like that movie's gonna not end well because like how you're gonna have to just create an ending just make up an ending yeah unless no i think it's like a is it gonna stay open-ended i feel like movies have to like have an answer at the end but i don't know that it's like a fictionalized. It might be a documentary style. Oh. I'm down with it being a documentary. I don't know. I'm not sure.

All right. Well. It could be. TBA. Could be. I wonder what the lifetime. I don't know. They probably invented an ending.

Who knows? Probably. Yeah. The Raven. The Raven. And then at the end, it's a raven. It's a bird. Thank you guys so much for listening.

Yay. To our wonderful Milwaukee, New Jersey stories. Radio show. Our little ditty. I hope you're still here even after we yelled at you a lot earlier. Right, right, right. I'm sorry. We are both on edge and we don't sleep much. We don't sleep anymore at all.

We're definitely not going to sleep for the next week. Oh, my goodness. Also, did you hear that the show inville is like at 11 o'clock at night yeah wait what i forgot about that oh thank god it's our last show though because then we can just go on the plane and fall asleep true and my fear is like i hope everyone knows that who bought tickets because like i didn't know i didn't know and i don't want everyone to be like wait a second i can't go on a at 11 o'clock on a sunday or On a Sunday. Ours is Saturday. It is a Saturday. At least there's that.

It's at 11. Are we doing a meet and greet for that? I think so. So at like 1.30 in the morning. Y'all, good luck. Oh my gosh. We're going to be slap happy probably. It'll be fun.

And you're going to be drunk. Yeah. It'll be a nice combo deal. Oh my gosh. I don't know. It's going to... Eva, you're going to have to drag us to that airport the next day. Poor Eva. Oh my goodness.

Well, in case you're not aware of that, Nashville, it is at 11 o'clock at night, and we just found that out too, so. Yeah. Oh well. Oh well. Nashville, we're sorry. Nashville, it's going to be a trip, man. Well. Get ready. That being said. Anyway. Thank you guys for listening.

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