And That's Why We Drink - E12 The 300-Year-Old Drama Queen and the Bitchy 7th Grader

Episode Date: April 23, 2017

Welcome to ep. 12! Em tells Christine about the “Chair of Death” and its super-dramatic owner, who happened to get hanged, tarred, and feathered in front of his own bar. Christine tells Em about Carl Tanzler, who decided that since his 21-year-old love interest didn’t return his affections during her life, her corpse would have to live with him after her death. All in all, it’s a barrel of laughs. And that’s why we drink!

Okay, he's not ready. Literally the second I hit record. Should that just be our intro? Hello. Here we are for episode 12. Oh, what a somber way to start this. What? You just sounded so passive.

Welcome to episode 12. I'm trying to be soothing because you're all in a grumpy mood today. I'm not grumpy. You're a little grumpy. I'm a little grumpy. But that's also because it's a work day. We don't usually record on days where we're working. That is true. You're seeing me after a day of work. That is true. So I am a little grumpy. We're gonna go back to weekend recordings. Yeah. i'm just joking i'm over this okay hey guys we're back episode 12 um i really want to thank everybody because after last episode um people have been sliding into my dms have they really yes no way you hid that from me just so you could say it didn't you people have been messaging me like hey it's me sliding into your dms and i'm like oh my god i feel so special which is funny because less people have been sliding into my dms

oh i feel like people felt bad they turned the tables i know now you're the hot one yes the hot one of the podcast you know when people say you have a good one why didn't we name our podcast that you know people say you have a face for radio, I feel like that's, like it's really just a backhanded compliment. Right. Also, real quick before we get started, I want to say we're doing this fun iTunes giveaway. We're trying to get some reviews on our iTunes page to kind of get like momentum going on itunes and if you write a review and send us like a screenshot or even just like your username so we can find you find you um you're going to be entered into a raffle for a cool surprise from us so we're going to mail you and we have a few people who've entered already

but if you haven't please go do that we would be eternally grateful what's the deadline uh i think we have it at april 30th so that'll be in like a week a week yeah exactly okay so you have a week fine countdown begins can i can i play can i join the raffle can you imagine i'll give us a great review you'll get your own you'll give yourself a great prize probably you're not wrong it'll be a snuggle from geo oh god you give yourself that prize all the time christine he is my best friend i love him so much you have told me that 18 times today okay today i came to christine's and i saw that their window was open and i was like i'm not even gonna say anything or text her and say that i'm here i'm just gonna scream for geo and see what happens and out of her apartment i heard both her and her brother go fuck like just have a heart attack but

geo was really excited so that was geo went running i choked on a noodle my brother started swearing profusely m is like leaning over because we live on the first floor again as i triangulate exactly where i live and she leans over into the balcony, like, behind our heads, where we're sitting on the couch, and, like, yells. Yeah. And then I heard your brother be like, I'm sweating. I was so scared. He literally was sweating. I didn't, like, say anything threatening.

I just said Gio's name. You just hollered loudly. I just wanted to see him. She thinks she's more endearing than she is. I think that's the problem. Just kidding. I've got a face for radio. Okay, so before I forget, Amber emailed us a while back, and I completely lost her email in the quote-unquote shuffle.

So I found it again, and I want to give you a fun fact, Em, about last meals. Ooh. I know, and I know we love this topic. And she was listening to the John Wayne Gacy episode, and she said she has a fun fact about last meals. Because remember, we asked, like, oh, what can you order? What can't you order? Right, right. She said the last meal privilege for death row inmates in Texas doesn't exist anymore because an inmate named Lawrence Brewer ordered a huge multi-course meal

that cost them hundreds of dollars and when it was served to him he didn't eat a bite of it oh what a dick I love him but that's literally what we said yeah like we would order hundreds of dollars oh yeah totally but so apparently now nobody in Texas gets a final meal which is so sad that is fucked he ruined it for everyone yeah what a dick I wonder what the default meal is now that they, like, give people since you don't get to choose. I wonder. Maybe it's just what they get every day. In some places, it's really shitty. It's, like, just the typical coffee and toast.

That's so sad. It's like, I'd rather die. Just kill me. It's like, we'll skip that part. Let's just hurry this up. Anyway, so that's all. But thank you, Amber, for that. I love fun facts.

Why are you drinking? Because I always have a reason because the last month has been pissing me off. The whole point of this podcast is for us to have reasons to drink. And you're like, I got none. I had one last week. It was that you were the hot one. And now I fixed that problem. You fixed it.

Now what? So now I ordered a pair of these shoes that are like these sneakers. And I have been saving money for them. And I was that problem. You fixed it. Now what? So now I ordered a pair of these shoes that are like these sneakers and I have been saving money for them and I was so excited and like tracking the package and then they came and they're way too small. Wow, that sucks. And they're out of my size. So I can't even like exchange them. I have to just return them and hope like someday they restock and I'm just, it's such a first

world problem, like beyond, but I guess most of our problems that we talk about are pretty first world problem, like beyond, but I guess most of our problems that we talk about are pretty first world problems. I think, is that why you brought the whole box of wine to the table today? Isn't it sad that... I just looked over, I didn't even realize this whole time that there's a full brand new box of wine sitting right next, literally within like wrist's reach. I hoisted it over here while you weren't looking. Just did a swing and... Why are you drinking this week?

Because of the writer's strike. Have you heard about this? So because of the writer's strike and we live in that industry and we work in that industry, my hours are getting cut. Oh my god, it's a mess. Which, by the way, I took this new job because i was going to be making more money and now because the writer's strike i'm currently making less money than i did at my original job we can't win in this fucking city i hate it and i was looking it up i was like how

long am i gonna have to fucking go through this and the longest strike so far has been 150 days and the most recent one that was really bad was 100 days so we averaged it out and that's still like four months which i'm currently losing like three to four hundred dollars a month right now it's like an extra hundred dollars a week that i'm losing so if it's four months that's a whole lot of money that i'm not getting to put away oh yeah so that's a good reason for me to be drinking. You can find our Patreon at patreon.com. In case people thought we were just swimming in cash right now. We're not.

I keep making jokes like, ha ha, we're so wealthy. And then I'm like, oh my God, I hope no one actually thinks that because it's such a gigantic lie. I know. Oh, and one last thing. This is the big part that I've been waiting for. My mom mailed me an Easter package, right? And so I open it up and she calls me she's like have you gotten in i was like oh i'm about to open it and she goes oh there i said did you mail anything for geo and she goes oh no i forgot but i included something for m and i was like are you serious i'm top of the line clearly

so i was like okay what is it she goes i'm not gonna tell you and i'm like oh my god and i don't know what it is either i know and so I have it in my hand. Uh-huh. It sounds crinkly. It's a black bag. There's chocolate in it, but there's something else that she included. Okay. Just for you, so I'm gonna have you open it. Okay, I'm not looking at it. Okay, now you can open it.

The greatest show on Earth? What is this? Open it. It's something involving the circus. It looks like silly putty, but a shell. Is it a fucking clown nose? She literally went to the circus and fought you a clown nose. I don't even know how to feel because I'm so happy, but I know that I'm also ashamed. Like, I'm going to put it on.

You're like angry and excited at the same time. Like I'm like shaking with anger, but also like beaming with happiness. Like I want, I want to hate this so much. My brother and I looked at it. We were like, what the hell is that? It took us a minute. And then we realized that she had taken my sister to the circus and she must have like bought you a fucking

clown nose. You know what? It takes a real woman to hear my biggest embarrassment in life and then mail me a gift reminding me of it. That's what German mothers do.

She's a good woman. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. So I've been so excited to give you that. Here, I'm going to wear it for the rest of the... You can post this. If you want a secret secret she mailed me one too so did she oh we could take a selfie she's like don't worry so so in case you got jealous god forbid yeah in case i got jealous

of your clown not to like totally throw myself back in a clown college but oh please please dive head first so um when you put your nose on there's a special adhesive you're supposed to put on oh for fuck's sake and this i literally just put it on because i know nobody can see me but i just put it on and instantly was brought back to like age 13 and i was like oh i forgot to put adhesive on and i don't know where that came from but it was the scariest moment of my life so my mom literally transported you into a trauma she basically put me in a time machine is what she did because it's drooping you see but if you put adhesive on it stays alert oh my god bingo bingo you know that for your birthday she's gonna mail you clown nose adhesive i can't wait you know what's funny my mom also went to the

circus really because they would be best friends i think okay so my mom growing up she her birthday is early april so she that was always the time that the circus came to where she lived and so her oldest memory or one of her oldest favorite memories with her dad was always going to the circus together and so she since this is the last time right her and tom went oh that's fun together that's why my mom and tim took francisca because it was like the last yeah i mean it's definitely like not pita approved and super fucked up but it is like right for like historical right like nostalgic yeah for the sake of it being the last one to go to exactly you might as well wish i went experience it but now you have this nose to remind you anyway thank you so much i will keep this forever and i don't keep many things she put

us i think she put let's put it this way i didn't keep my old nose but i'm gonna keep my new one that's such an la thing to say i got a new nose oh let me upgrade you i got rid of my old nose also i before i forget i appreciate the uh she also chocolate. She also included a bunch of chocolate. Chocolate coins. She didn't want you to feel like she was just... What's this guy? There's something like Smarties in it, like German Smarties. I don't know.

I'll eat them later because they'll be noisy. Thank you. I appreciate you. Anyway, Blaze was like, I didn't get anything. He got a chocolate bunny, we found out. What if the day I meet her, I'm wearing this? this oh my god i don't even know what would happen i'd actually be too scared to do it she's probably gonna wear one and think it's hilarious okay i'll keep it in my pocket in case she brings it up and then i'll be like hello oh my god that way i'm prepared on all areas you

gotta bring the adhesive i've got all my turfs covered oh my god you look so ridiculous hey imagine if i was in full actual clown makeup I don't cause we're home alone and it really gives me fear Okay I'll take it off It gives me like deep seated fear Hey by the way Cause we all know you're not gonna fucking say it I'm drinking a chocolate milkshake

I was really busy giving you real chocolate Okay that's fair I know I mean but we also know whether or not the chocolate was there. Well, I'm drinking a boxed wine, but you already told everybody. It was kind of hinting that you would ask me,

but you still didn't. What are you drinking again? I forget. Yeah. Chocolate milkshake. It looks good, though. It's all right. It's actually really good

because it's not frozen solid like my other ones usually are right it's like fresh off hot off the press hot off the press all right so i have facts yay i'm so excited okay your facts have been getting like super like crazy like well surprising buckle up oh my god okay my milkshake one will also do you a solid. Okay. Okay. I don't know why I said do you a solid. It's not going to help you at all. It's going to loan me some money. You'll get into it.

This will probably be your favorite milkshake fact so far. Is it about, okay. It's not about wine. Down. Calm down. Nancy Kissel was found guilty in Hong Kong of adding sedatives to her husband's milkshake before hitting him on the head and bludgeoning him to death. The case in Hong Kong is known as the milkshake murder.

Oh my god! Yep. Anyway. The milkshake, okay, that's literally built for this podcast. Yeah. If they would like to sponsor us in Hong Kong. It's like the wine cabinet, like the paranormal wine and then the the murder milkshake they're like combining our two our two actually yeah we should make a shirt of that i

don't know how you make a milkshake murder we've been on like a like an intense design spree with the shirts yeah if anyone has any ideas yeah design ideas please we only have 45 ideas right now so we're looking for 70 yeah Okay, here's your wine fact. Okay. In Italy, right outside of Rome, they built a wine fountain that runs 24-7. And there's a sign next to it apparently that says, no drunks allowed. But I'll show you a picture because we all know. If anyone wants to know what picture I'm looking at, Google image, wine fountain in Italy.'s the third picture oh shit oh it's like a fancy ass fountain i expected some like grungy

it's like bottles just consistently pouring out wine okay and it's red wine how good for you beautiful it's not it's actually really pretty i thought you know like a chocolate fountain where it has like the tears i thought it was gonna be like that chocolate fountain where it has, like, the tears? I thought it was going to be like that. No. You can now, oh, you can drink from it, literally? Yeah, you can literally drink from it. Holy shit. I'm just saying. That's really cool. Okay, I had a hunch you would like these facts.

Thank you. Anyway, there you go. Thank you for pandering to me. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Okay. Is that all we have, I guess, for, like, the start? I know, we're used to usually bullshitting.

I know. A whole lot. I think we're're used to usually bullshitting a whole lot. I think we're just ready to get down to business. We are. And I feel like last episode took me, how many? Seven hours to edit? So now I'm like, let's just stop the ranting. Stop the nonsense. Okay.

So this is another haunted item, not a haunted house. And a lot of people, not a lot of people have written it in but i've seen it a lot when i was doing other research and a couple people have mentioned it to me um it's called the chair of death i've never heard of that okay i hadn't either so the chair of death yeah that's so dramatic like all chairs okay so and good one i'm so tired i have to wake up for work and i'm so mad sorry do you need some caffeine no i have a milkshake okay but i can't really drink it until i'm done telling you this story sorry so we're gonna haul ass okay so in i'm just gonna let that in 1669 slash the late 1600s based on whatever website I was looking at.

Because some people said it was 1669 and some people said late 1600s. That's still kind of late. It's still middle to me. I feel like you're not the late until like half of the 70s. Sure. Okay. I feel like back then it all blends together, you know? Yeah.

In year one, I'm sure it wasn't much different than year 11, you know? Exactly. together you know yeah and year one i'm sure it wasn't much different than year 11 you know exactly so in the late 1600s based on who you talk to you're not happy about that bullet one we can say 1669 it's not my story okay it is suggested that in 1669, there was a man named Daniel Otty. Otty. And he was a crook slash thief slash counterfeit money launderer. He moved to Kirkby Whisk, which is in Thirsk, England. And he wanted a place where he could do all of his money laundering and keep all like keep all of his money away where people wouldn't find it so he bought a farm out there and he named it donati

hall after himself which sounds a lot like dan oddy so what so did how does it spelled how's it spelled okay so his name is dan and then oddy is a-u-t-y oh and he spelt it d-a-n-o-t-t-y like donati that's so weird but it's like i couldn't find if he'd really named it after himself but denotti and his name being dan oddy sounds a lot like a narcissistic thing to do so he he denotti hall so it's not even a hall it's a fucking farm yeah okay this guy needs to get his shit together he needs to chill the fuck out so he bought the farm and it sat on top of a hill so he could look down and see if any unexpected visitors were showing up

so he could close up shop. He also built a bunch of secret passageways from the main house down to where he was doing all of his money jobs, all of his money work. I don't know what you... Counterfeiting business? Yeah, because I guess...

Like, I'm trying to think of the way to actually say that without sounding stupid is counterfeiting business is counterfeiting outfit no that's not a clue in my head okay so he uh he built a bunch of passageways to get down there um and it the place where he did all of this was in a hidden cellar with heavy locking doors made out of oak and iron bars. Like, he, like, had this place shut down. So if anyone ever came across it, they wouldn't find out what he was doing. Three miles down the road was an inn and a tavern. Like, it was the same building, but it was an inn slash tavern.

And it was owned by Thomas Busby, who was a drunk and also engaged to Dan Oddy's daughter. Oh, no. So Dan Oddy did not... He had children? Yeah, he had one daughter. Did he have, like, a wife that lived there? Oh, just the daughter. It was just him and his daughter,

and then his daughter was engaged to the guy who owned the inn and the tavern. Who was a drunk. Who was a drunk. So I can't imagine that was a smoothly running business. One day, oh, also fun fact and obviously, Adi did not like Thomas Busby because he was a drunk. But he was afraid that by not liking him, Thomas Busby would rat him out about all the stuff that he was doing.

Because since he was marrying into the stuff that he was doing. Oh. Because since he was marrying into the family, he kind of figured out what was going on. Sure. So to keep him quiet, Dan Otte, instead of Donati, he ended up hiring Busby to be, like, his partner in crime. Oh. But he also hated that he was... Keep your enemies close. That Thomas Busby was a drunk and with his daughter. And decided that he was going to say, I don't want you marrying my daughter when you aren't really, like, a stable person.

So he goes down to the inn in the tavern where Busby's working. And at this point, Elizabeth is already living with him. At the inn. Oh, okay. In the tavern. Because I guess you, at the inn in the tavern because i guess you at the time you lived where you worked and was like i'm gonna take elizabeth home like i don't want you to be with her and they got into this huge fight and there's a lot of reports saying that they argued about different things but the overwhelmingly popular one is that he was trying to get elizabeth away

from him for good so of course he was drunk Thomas Busby, and didn't actually understand what Dan was bitching about. And he was like, I don't even know what you're arguing with me about. And Dan kept saying, you're a fucking drunk and I don't want you marrying my daughter. And so what he got out of that argument was Thomas thomas busby was pissed that dan was sitting in his favorite chair that was like he was so drunk that the whole time that dan was yelling at him saying i want you out of my daughter's life all of busby's arguments back were well get out of my chair you're in my favorite chair. What's wrong with you? And so he just kept bitching about his favorite

chair. And so later... What a child! Later, Dan got pissed and gave up and was like, whatever. You're clearly not even coherent. So he left and went back to his place on the farm. Uh-huh. And Busby's just like

fuming at this point because he's so mad that this guy was sitting in his chair and yelling at him was like disrespecting him in his own chair and so he goes up to the farm and since he was working with him knew how to get into the doors sure um of like the secret hidden room and all that and grabbed a hammer and then bludgeoned him to death what and left him in the woods jesus and that way like he was out of the picture so he could marry elizabeth and keep being a drunk so he just like casually bludgeoned him he just followed him home and grabbed a hammer and just beat him to death how dare you sit in my favorite chair if you ever sit in my chair let me tell you what i'm gonna do you're sitting in my chair right now actually and to be fair though like there's a there's really not many men i know that want anyone

sitting in their favorite chair besides them like both my grandparents have a chair and you don't sit in it i was about to say that's such a grandpa thing though like they always have their chair yeah it's like off limits i don't know any who would kill because of it but it's not a shock that someone was mad that a dude when you're that drunk and your real feelings come out and it's like you know what just get out of my chair if you want to have a real conversation so after he kills dan uh the cops find him in the woods find his body in the woods. Ugh. And they put Busby on trial, and he's found guilty for murder. And he is to be hanged. There's, like, there's more to that sentence.

I'm just trying to find the sentence. Oh, it's like, hanged? Maybe? Interesting. Okay, he was ordered to be hanged, dipped in tar, and then be left hanging on a gibbet in front of his own inn. What is a gibbet, you ask? Great question, Christine. I'll show you.

I knew it was coming, so. I was about to say, I just learned what a gibbet is. Did you? Did you really? Yeah, I was listening to a medieval torture podcast. Oh, well then I don't have to show you shit. Actually, my friend has a podcast called Dude, That's Fucked Up. And they did a thing and

they explained what a gibbet was oh everyone go listen to that podcast it's really fun anyway they did a medieval torture episode and so that's where i learned it but so sorry you want to i didn't want to like you want to plug them like their name again yeah it's called dude that's fucked up okay dtf dtfu podcast i like to think if we collaborate with them we could call it dude that's fucked up and that's whyed Up and That's Why I Drink. And it would work seamlessly. It is. It's like the same thing.

I love it. Perfect. Anyway. So, gibbet. So, a gibbet. If anyone has seen Hocus Pocus, which I don't know who hasn't. You know I have. Oh.

I was trying to save you. I feel like. Okay. Okay. Christine has not seen Hocus Pocus. All right. I'm German. i was trying to save you i feel like okay okay christine has not seen hocus pocus all right all right i'm german i always use that excuse it doesn't that's a great excuse that makes no sense at all no um so if anyone saw hocus pocus which is everyone besides christine when the two bullies at the end are hanging in those cages that's a gibbet like the have you ever seen

like i don't in like a haunted house have you seen like the skeletons that are in like those like um like those cages made out of like metal scraps like you can see through them it's like a skeleton maybe i don't really go to haunted houses i know what i know what it is okay yeah but then that cage thing uh-huh it It's hanging on a. Yeah. Okay. The cage itself is called a gibbet, but the post is called a stoop. Oh, okay.

And so the chair of death is actually also called the stoop chair. You know how this whole thing is called the chair of death? On some websites it's called the stoop chair. Oh. And it's because of he got hanged and then rolled around in hot tar and then they put him in a gibbet and hung it from a stoop on top of his own inn oh no and so wait so they rolled him in tar after they hanged him yeah so it wasn't even like part of i don't really know why torture it was just like haha yeah i would think you'd want to do it to torture him sure whatever that's what happened They were weird back then.

Silly. So, in front of his own inn, so anyone who went there would see his own body hanging over. That's so sad. It's really fucked up. But on the way to being executed, his last request was to have a final drink in his favorite chair. What is it with the chair? I don't know, because I've seen a picture of it. It's literally just, like, a chair. Like a wooden chair? Like a wooden the chair i don't know because i've seen a picture of it it's literally just like a chair like a wooden chair like a wooden it's not even

like a lazy boy no it's like a at the dinner table wooden chair i don't get it he needs to get over it so after he had his final drink he then walked to the gallows and said death shall come swiftly to anyone that dares to sit in my chair what a drama queen he's obsessed with this chair jesus he's like projecting something i don't know so after his execution they renamed it the busby stoop inn after him that's so mean and i guess the inn actually remained open until only like five years ago. But the last landlord who worked there, lived slash worked there, said that there was always like hauntings and ghostly happenings. She said in an interview, I've been here for almost 10 years and the locals are still afraid of the chair's curse. I saw a figure on the landing upstairs. It was a very tall human-like figure with no arms and no clear face and it moved sideways and then disappeared through a wall ew it had no arms that's what she said okay so yeah and then there

is also um some other different ways that people experienced hauntings there but i'll get into that later but so basically this chair ended up being incredibly haunted after he died and cursed this chair and said death will come to anyone who sits on it and uh the chair took uh like some reports say up to 63 63 to 70 lives who sat in it. What? Yeah. Took their lives? Like, after sitting in the chair, they died relatively soon. Some reports say over 70 people, but anyone who ever sat in that chair or, like, quote, pissed it off, died pretty much immediately. Like, no, very few people have survived sitting in the chair. few people have survived sitting in the chair what and prior to death uh they each experienced either extreme itching or paranoia paranoia hearing things like distorted confusion like

they didn't know where they were items being moved around written warnings on mirrors and walls about their eminent death what that ended up being accurate um and it says and other strange happenings wait extreme itching extreme itching like there'd be like rashes and scratches all over them but i thought the writing like the clairvoyant writing about your death i thought that was pretty cool what the fuck like they saw like on the mirror or what like on the mirror they would see like carved into wood or something like that and it would say like look out or it would say turn around or something that ended up being like the last sentence that they heard that in my favorite chair it's yeah i just

saw like the emoji of a middle finger i warned you um so only seven people survived the chair and had all those experiences and then they ended up still dying early what yeah so the first report of someone dying in the chair was a chimney sweeper who was with his friend and at the tavern and sat in the chair this is all after busby died so right all right so um the chimney sweep and sat in the chair this is all after busby died so right all right so um the chimney sweeper sat in the chair while having a drink with his friend and uh him and his friend left and then the next morning they found his body hanging from the post next to the gibbet where busby was laying like he was hanging right next to it what and he was drunk so like nobody knows how he got up there how he died or who brought him up there because if if he died down on the ground who brought him

all the way up nope so they're like that's weird and then there were a bunch of murders during and after world war ii um a bunch of Air Force officers would go there because their air base, is that called an air base? I think so. It was right next to the tavern, so a lot of people would go in there. And up to 15 men died after sitting in the chair at different times.

Holy shit. There was also a, it's a rumor, but also it was a true rumor because up until as far as we know anybody who sat in the chair never came back from war so even if they survived the night and they went back to war they never came back so it was like a urban tale of oh don't sit in the chair because one you'll die and two if you don't die you'll just die in the war oh god um in and said upwards of 15 airmen died in the chair uh in 1967 two air force pilots sat in the chair drove home and hit a tree um and and there's a lot of stuff that happened in between

the chimney sweeper in the 1700s to the 1960s i'm just picking stories sure wait what was the which war was the first one you mentioned i've only said world war ii oh it was world war ii yeah um so in 1967 two air force pilots sat in the chair and they drove home another time two different pilots had come in and they dared each other but they were too scared so they just like one touched it just touched it and then the other person like hovered over it like didn, didn't actually sit, but just kind of, like, pretended like they were going to sit in it. And that night, one of them got run over by a car. And the other one fell off a train.

What? How do you just fall off a train? What the fuck? I don't get it. Wait. That's, like, those are both freak accidents. Like, freak accidents. And they happened within, like, two days of having pretended to sit in the chair.

And they didn't even sit in it. Right. Listen, this guy's pushing it a little with his don't sit in my chair. These people didn't even sit in it. Basically, this is just like the 300 year old drama queen. He's so dramatic. Yeah. Jesus.

He could be on RuPaul. And don't fuck it up. Oh my God. Maybe it's like the reincarnation you know oh yeah for sure anyway so um over 20 cyclists had fatal motorcycle accidents leaving the pub and there are skeptics who are like well maybe they were all drunk driving sure because they're leaving from a tavern most of them a lot of these stories because i guess back then the taverns didn't stay open late so if you were going to get drunk it was like in the middle of the day but i don't like from the stories i've read like i've read a bunch of stories about this and none of them implied

drunk driving there were three different people who died after sitting in the chair who were drunk but they made sure to mention those right so and the other thing is like sure people people did drink and drive back then like it was very normal driving was brand new they didn't have rules yet like if you watch mad men john draper drives around drunk literally all the time and then he got or he got into a car accident like hammered out of his mind and got like a like a 50 fine or something but i mean people drove drunk all the time but doesn't mean like 20 people die you know what i mean like not it would be it would still be weird if 20 drunk people all died right after sitting in that chair extremely dangerous but it's still a ridiculous number of people to die so i don't know that's

that's up to the listeners opinion fine i guess we'll give them their own opinion um a hitchhiker also didn't know about the chair so he sat in it when he was eating and i guess all the locals just stared at him like just waiting to watch him die at some point they were like how the fuck is he gonna go and he literally walked out of the restaurant and then waved to say bye and got hit by a car um why did they not have this thing like locked up behind a fucking they kept thinking like hopefully it's fake i don't know why they didn't just like believe it and leave it alone i guess there are probably enough people to be like that's bullshit yeah you know i mean yeah well so if this is all happening since the 1700s and

there's let's pretend 30 people who have died up at this point they could always like some asshole skeptic could be like well of course in 30 years 30 people would die somehow right like i don't know fair point i'm not a skeptic though i i like to pretend that this all definitely happened we don't understand the minds of those people so uh one local man sat in the chair and a half an hour later he had a heart attack and died a cleaning lady that worked there bumped into the chair and she like was so scared poor thing she like bumped into the chair and that night she had a brain hemorrhage and died oh my god that's not fair why is he such a dickhead that's not fair she didn't do it on purpose i don't know these

other people were taunting him i know oh yeah it became actually an attraction it brought a lot of like money to the tavern because the oh maybe that's why they kept it out because they were saying like oh like you know here's the haunted cursed chair trying to sit in it and not die so but you will so but you will um a roofer sat in the chair during his lunch break and he was like not a regular so he didn't know and once he got back up to the roof it collapsed entirely like through the tavern and he plummeted to his death a group of builders in the pub dared their apprentice to sit in the chair and he did to like look cool to them and after going back to the building site he also fell through a roof but this time onto hard concrete and apparently his head exploded oh my god so

after that the new owner his name was earnshaw he locked the chair away in the cellar earnshaw he locked it away in the cellar but um people still had interactions with it in the basement so like a brick brick layer was a brick layer was contracted to go check things out in the basement and because he was new and didn't know he saw the chair there so he just rested for a minute um and then after he took a nap in the chair he uh which by the way is the most fucked up thing to do in a chair that's haunted to take a nap in it and also it's like a wooden chair it's not like again a recliner i know it's not like it's the 1600s anymore.

Like there's more comfortable chairs. Literally lie on the ground. But anyway, he fell to his death on the job. And then a delivery man saw the chair in the cellar while he was unloading his deliveries. So he sat in the chair to rest. And on his way from the pub, the van that he came in went off the road and crashed into a vacant building where he died. What? Like, just a lot of stuff.

Like, people just kept crashing and falling. It's, like, not normal for this many people to die of freak accidents. Or have brain aneurysms or heart attacks. So, anyway, in 1878, Earnshaw was like, fuck this. Like, it just has to get out of the building. Right. So, he donated it to the museum in town called the Thirsk Museum okay to this day um the chair is in the museum and the most recent update

i saw was in 2014 it said the museum was still there um the chair is still there but it's mounted six feet high on the wall so nobody accidentally sits in it can you imagine so if you look up pictures of it you can just see a chair like nailed to the wall it's really weird um and then so apparently a lot of people have also asked to like sit in the chair like people are so stupid i know people come from everywhere to ask and they have a rule there where it's like no matter what i don't care if you're a janitor i don't care if you work here i don don't care if you are the founder of this fucking museum. I don't care if you're offering me a million dollars. Nobody sits in that chair. So, like, at least they have morals.

At least they have some fucking sense about them. And so there are rumors, though. Here's another skeptic thing that I have to say because I have to respect everyone's opinion. There are rumors that the chair isn't real and that when he was donating it to the museum, Earnshaw actually burnt the original one and just gave them a chair so that there was an explanation for, you know,

oh, here's the haunted chair, but in case anyone touched it, he already burnt it too. I was also going to ask, like, when they were nailing it, did they have, like, draw straws for who had to nail it to the wall? Oh, that's such a good point. Like, who had to touch it? How terrifying to be the one nailing nails through it. Like, literally someone bumped into it one time and had a brain aneurysm.

Imagine grabbing it with both hands, hoisting it above your body, and nailing it to a wall. Climbing a ladder with it and being like, I'll probably die right now. It's like, I wonder if it goes through your body. Like, if you're touching the chair can someone touch you because imagine someone who had to like brace him on the ladder right because they had to pick someone who was like terminally ill and be like you know what you're going anyway like 95 like grandma just take the chair like death row like here's your volunteer death we'll give you your hundred dollar meal your final meal if you climb up this ladder.

Yeah, eat it away from us. Oh my god. That's such a good point. I didn't even think about that. Like, someone had to touch it. How shitty. Also, how did he donate it to the museum? He probably called the museum

and was like, you fucking touch it. Like, it's in the basement. Go get it. Probably. So, uh, I guess if that person didn't die, then the rumor is not true.

Right? Maybe. Unless you're right that maybe he did, then the rumor is not true, right? Maybe. Unless you're right that maybe he did burn it and it was all true before and then he just was like... Yeah, but whoever nailed the chair to the wall, if they're still alive, then the rumor... But I mean, maybe it's true that it was a fake chair that he donated. Yeah. Must have been if they're still around. But I mean, that's still fascinating because it's like...

But what if they didn't know? I mean, they still had to have that mental torture of like, oh, shit. Wait, this is the haunted chair? Yeah. They had to get an intern to do it, probably. That is something that in the L.A. industry, they'd be like, oh, we need an intern to possibly die. Who's in? How badly do you want the job?

The sad thing is that every PA goes, me, please pick me. Please. I'll stay overtime. So basically this is like the LA internship of 1967. Oh no. That got dark real fast. But you're so right. Every intern would be like,

oh my god, this is my shot. Please let me die for you. I did everything to move to LA for this moment. Oh, sad. And then they get fired. Absolutely. And then they get fired. Absolutely. And then they get unemployed forever. Yeah.

Okay, so the museum has never broken its promise in the 30 years, despite numerous requests that, like, even the threat of legal action, like, there have been people who came in and tried to sue the place for not letting them sit in the chair what is wrong with people they were japanese i don't know if that means anything um i don't know i don't know if that's like i don't know if it's like a if it was like a game they were trying to play or a dare or if they were like not from america and so like it like to them it wasn't anything but isn't this in the uk it was a japanese film crew but isn't this in the uk yeah oh you said they weren't from america oh fuck whatever okay i get it it's as fucked up as an american situation because suing

sounds like an american thing people always make fun of america i just assumed we were in america yeah because people are ridiculous here but um no that it was a 2004 japanese film crew and then they said something along the lines of like they were gonna i don't remember what they were gonna try to do but they got so upset that they refused um they got so upset that the museum refused permission to sit in the chair and they complained to the head of legal services at County Hall, and later, this is the best part, when they came back, they were talking to the head of the museum, and they were like, well, what's the penalty if we actually disobey your rules and sit in the chair anyway?

And the guy was like, you'll die. It's pretty easy. It's not even in my control. You'll just die. Like, I'm trying to save your ass here. Like, that's your penalty. And I bet if you get enough people every day asking, I'm going to sit in it anyway. At that point, I'd be like, just fucking die then. Go ahead.

It's up to you. Good. Sit in the fucking chair. So anyway. Well, we have listeners in Japan. So if you know why. Don't go sit in the chair. Don't sit in the chair.

But if you know anything about this, I don't know. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Don't sit in the chair. But if you know anything about this, I don't know. Maybe it's a cultural thing. So they said the museum put out a statement saying we could have made a lot of money for the museum if we let visitors sit in the chair. But a promise is a promise. I was like, wow. Integrity.

Yes. Good for them. Thank God someone has it after 300 years. The museum is still open and functioning with the chair as of 2014. Uh huh. And the pub still proudly displays a sign showing the Busby stoop next to a mock set of gallows. Ew!

They have fake gallows? What the fuck? Here's a mockery of someone dying and then being landed on his own establishment. Oh, man. There you go. Bunch of winners, I'll tell ya. Dude, I don't know what this guy's problem is.

He needs to chill. Like, I mean, that wasn't my best ghost story, but that's definitely my most dramatic story. Oh, it was crazy. I mean. That sounds like a third grader offering you, like, their mechanical pencil. I was, like, gonna say that. Do you mind? Yep.

Get away from it. Like, you stole my gel pen, so I'm going to haunt it forever. I know. Like, get over it. Anyway, that's your story for the week, y'all. He needs... I feel, like, a little bit scared for my safety that I keep bashing him, but he needs to chill. But I don't want to sit in his chair.

Cool. That's probably smart. Because it sounds extremely uncomfortable. Right. All right. She's currently refilling via box. So easy. It has a little twist knob.

Wow. Things are going so well for you today, Christine. I almost wore that shirt today, by the way. Did you? Yeah. Can you imagine? Boston University. Hey.

Hashtag BU. Okay. I'm going to delete that. Okay. Wise. Dear future Christineine good choice love past m oh man i need you to life coach me through all of this wow okay i'm gonna tell you today story of carlansler. Hmm? Who?

Carl Tansler. Tansler? Tansler. Tensler? I don't know how to say it. Tansler? Tansler. In German. Tansler.

Why do you always have to do this? Tansler. Okay, Tansler. Carl Tansler. Carl Tansler? Yeah, sure. In Germany? He's actually in Florida, so who the hell knows how they pronounce it down there.

Oh, so you just threw in the German accent. No a german he moved to florida i thought you were doing it since you're the hot one you can get away with anything now now i have an accent no uh his name is carl t carl t carl let's just call him carl fucking carl and carl classic carl we have a listener named kevin he was like yeah the whole time i was like oh typical kevin am i right okay so this guy is a creepazoid so if your name is carl i'm sorry in advance but carl the creep carl the creep classic carl so carl was a german bacteriologist born in 1877 he was not a doctor. I just want to point that out because he attempts to practice medicine later, but he's not a doctor. Okay.

Oh. I know. So he had two children named Aisha and Crystal. Hey. Which like. That's pretty relevant for 1870s. I literally texted my mom. I was like, is this a normal thing that your daughter's name is? Yeah, is early 20th century Germany naming your child Aisha?

Well, I asked her about that and she said that it comes from Africa and they had a lot of literature, like Heart of Darkness and that kind of thing coming from like East Asia and from Africa. So like Aisha and Crystal might be like. I was like classic Carl keeping with the Joneses. I was ready to like make so much fun of this. My mom's no it's actually a very and i was like well fine your mom shut you cultural significance whatever carl okay so anyway carl moved from dresden in germany to florida in 1926 he left his wife and daughters in zephyr hills florida while he took a job as a radiologic tech radio god as a radiologic

technologist at the u.s marine hospital in key west florida under the name oh he changed his name thank god to carl funkozel i still what the hell you can change your name to anything and you pick funkozel well because fun usually means like you, you're, like, of nobility, I think. So maybe he did it to be, like. Oh, like von? Yeah, like von. Oh, like von Trapp. Because it means from.

So it means, like, from wherever. So it's, like, a family name. Like, you're from nobility. I don't know. He probably just. He's clearly delusional. Right. You'll find out soon.

He could have just, like, gone with Smith. Yeah, like a normal fucking immigrant. Yeah. Typical Carl. Fucking Carl. Aisha Smith. Aisha Funko. She had got thrown in so many garbage cans.

Literally the entire time I was reading this, I was like, poor Aisha and Crystal. Okay. So. Okay. So, okay. So when he was, when he moved to Florida, something people noted later that he claimed a lot was that while he was a child living in Germany, he was visited by visions of a dead ancestor named Countess Anna. Here we go again. Anna Constantia von Kozl. Oh, there's von Kozel. Yeah.

So I guess that's where he got it. How do you say it again? Anna Constantia von Kozel. Constantia von Kozel? Who showed him the face of his true love in dreams. Wow, must be nice. My fucking grandfather follows me everywhere I go, and I've seen diddly squat.

Maybe you've got to name yourself after him. I've seen goose egg. My name, I'm not named after him. You should change your last name and maybe he'll show up. I don't want their last name. Who showed him the face of his true love, an exotic, dark haired woman. Four years after moving to Key West, Carl met Maria. What is up with these names?

I'm sorry. Maria Elena Milagro de Hoyos. That sounds like Zack and Cody. Emilio Julio Ricardo. Do you remember that guy? Yes! Yeah, and he would say his whole name, and he had like 13,000 names. That was a great show.

I just remember Emilio, no. I forget the order. Esteban. Esteban Emilio Ricardo. But then at the end, he'd say Cortez. And I was like, okay, that's all your names. Anyway,. Emilio Ricard. But then at the end he'd say Cortez. And I was like okay that's all your names. Anyway this guy is that guy.

Basically. So her name was Maria Elena Milagro de Hoyos. A 21 year old Cuban American woman who was brought to the hospital that Carl worked at by her mother. Carl recognized her from his vision. Shut the fuck up grandpa what's up you don't want to be like

carl i'll tell you that much i know we're only like a paragraph in but where them hoes at no wonder your grandfather doesn't i mean for god's sake oh anyway you guys can feel free to slide into my dms again yeah i you know what maybe i'll see one of you from a dream that my grandfather didn't provide me that should just be your pickup line like i saw in visions for my grandfather my dead grandfather there'd be like a human-shaped hole in the wall yeah and i'm running away uh no one's gonna slide into our dms anymore are they no so anyway so he recognized her from his visions um quote unquote so elena was a daughter of a local cigar maker and was considered a beauty in key west hoyos elena had married a man named luis four

years earlier which makes her like 17. Right. But I guess whatever. You know, it's the what? Right. 1900s. Okay. But he left her after she miscarried their child and left her to move to Miami. That's fucked up. So that's casual. Unfortunately, Elena was very

sick with tuberculosis, which at the time was incredibly fatal. Actually, almost her entire immediate family was killed by tuberculosis, which at the time was incredibly fatal. Actually, almost her entire immediate family was killed by tuberculosis. So Tunstler decided to use his self-professed medical knowledge to attempt to treat and cure her with a variety of medicines, x-ray, and electrical equipment that he brought to her home. Tunstler fell madly in love with her showered her with jewelry gifts uh clothing and allegedly professed his love to her but there's no evidence to show that she ever returned any of his affection um because again she was 21 and he was like 60

something like he was old he was an old dude i don't know if he was 60 but he was definitely a middle-aged man at least okay and she was 21 perfect um so classic carl so unfortunately elena died at her parents home on october 25th 1931 uh carl paid for her funeral and even commissioned the construction of an above-ground mausoleum in the key west cemetery which he visited every night oh um one lovely evening in april of 1933 a year and a half after she'd been buried carl crept through the cemetery removed her body from the mausoleum carted it through the cemetery on a toy wagon i'm just gonna let that sit for a moment and say it in slow motion what was that one lovely evening in april of 1933 a year and a half after elena had been buried tonsler crept through the cemetery removed elena's body from the mausoleum carted it through the cemetery on a toy wagon and brought it back to

his house that guy knows how to party you're welcome he said that her spirit would come to him while he sat at her grave every night and that it asked him to take her body out oh my god of her grave he also said you're taking my ghost story it's really we could have done this together no this is just a delusional old guy i don't think i don't think any like you're taking my ghost story. We could have done this together. No, this is just a delusional old guy. I don't think any of this is a real ghost story. He also said that she would come out of her grave and serenade her own body with Spanish songs. Who doesn't, though? Every night.

I mean, why is he talking about that like that's new? When you're a ghost, you're just going to come serenade yourself? Yeah. Your own dead body? Sadly, the only song I know is feliz navidad oh my god i hope that was a song that he was that was the only one he was hallucinating her singing um so anyway she told him to take her from the grave how convenient for him so the body was obviously decomposing as bodies do and he was like oh i know i'll attach the bones together with coat hangers and then i'll put glass eyes in her eye sockets huh then i'll replace her skin with silk cloth soaked in wax and plaster of paris huh but her scalp started to

decompose so her hair was falling out so he made a wig of her actual hair that had been collected by her mother and given to carl after her burial so like i guess her he literally asked her mother to give him like hey i know your daughter died mind shaving her head and putting it on a ziploc for me it's literally and i think it was because like i don't know why but i mean he paid for her funeral and everything so maybe it was like you know i guess when i was 14 my childhood dog died and i kept some of his fur in case they ever developed the cloning process but that's totally rational in my mind i'm serious and like and i still have it because i'm like the second cloning animals is cheaper i'm in i'm about to cry isn't that thoughtful no you're like upsetting me that's so

sad well i mean it's still i still got it but that way like i can have them all over again if i if it showed up if if the time came i get it if that was his reasoning, but if it was, oh no, I'm just going to glue it to like a jelly sack skeleton with glass eyes. No, like he was cuckoo bat shit. But he deserves a master's in art. Have you seen the body? There's photos of it. No. Why?

Because it's... I don't want to explain myself. No, no, I want to see the pictures now but why do you think i would know what you're talking about because i've seen it but that doesn't mean much for anybody but i was at work and i was scrolling through wikipedia and someone walked past and i like realized my screen i have double monitors so it's like fucking on the screen her like corpse with fake eyes and i was like you know what this shouldn't be i miss when you didn't have a job me too well i just like i have

one job and you have two jobs and i have one computer and you get two and i don't understand how you went from zero to double on everything i have double computer okay are you ready this is her i'm gonna show you the picture wait before i look is this like after after he's made a fake this is the fake skeleton of her well no like it's her body but he keeps like trying to so like her skin was decomposing keeps putting like wax on it and shit what a fucking weirdo yes okay okay he's on the left and her body's on the right oh that's interesting it's not crazy crazy? He looks like, like a crazy, he looks like Sigmund Freud in Colonel Sanders

Had a Baby. Yes! That is the best way to describe it. But she looks fizzocked. I mean,

keep in mind, she was literally in her grave for a year and a half before he took her body out. It's like she just rolled out of bed like me. Like,

she has a reason to look that bad. Right, like, we don't have an excuse. At least, she was was a corpse next time i see you and you look like shit i'm gonna be like oh has it been a year and a half since we pulled you out of the grave oh have you been dead for that fucking long did you roll out of your toy wagon did blaze cover you in the plaster of paris oh my god and fit you with glass eyes i mean it is i mean it looks like um it's it looks

like a leather mask on a mannequin it's literally and that's why it's so fucked because it's literally her dead body and like he didn't take anything off of her i know it's that's pretty fucked up so if anyone wants to google it don't do it at work because i did that but it's pretty creepy like it's it's like very unsettling when you know that it's a corpse. I intentionally make sure my phone is charged when I'm at work so during lunch I can Google shit. Smart. Because if I did it on my computer that my boss is looking at all the time, she would think she should fire me before I kill them. It's smart. I mean, I, same.

I look like a, like, the only things I Google these days are just all fucked up information. Oh, yeah. My Google search history is terrible. Anyway. Even the one at work. It's, like, pretty mild at work, but it's still, like, pretty much only about dead people and murderers. I swear to God, if I go to Toys R Us and there's, like, a little kid dragging a doll around in a wagon. No!

And it's life-size, I'll wonder. Why is there a life-size doll anywhere? I don't like that. I don't either. Ew, can you imagine? Like, life-size i'll wonder why is there a life-size doll anywhere i don't like that i don't either ew can you imagine like life-size barbie oh i hate that my biggest fear growing up was that like i would own a life-size doll and then whatever ghosts were following me would like make it come to life like in front of me like i would watch it like come after literally my biggest fear and i know we've probably said i think i said this on a proofs episode but my first sleepover ever my best friend at the time had like a life-size Barbie and it was in the corner and I literally was asked her mom to please put it in the closet.

Cause it was just like. Yeah. I was like, can you please decapitate it and put its entire body somewhere else? Burn its body in a bonfire. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, as I was saying, you know, I've a a few people say that their favorite thing about listening to you specifically on the show and it's not your gasp although they did bring that up too oh no

was that you your voice comes off apparently i have a masculine voice oh because they say that you have the like lightest most like delicate feminine like gentle voice and then out of like this tiny little voice you hear what the fuck like like my favorite thing is just waiting to hear like these like sailor cuss words come out of such a happy dainty voice oh no and then i was like what about me and they're like well that's, that's expected. It's like, you ain't wrong. My mom was like, oh, I listened to the first episode. Em has the most beautiful voice. And I'm like, what about me?

She's wrong. I was like, yeah, yeah. Tell Em I really like her voice. I was like, oh. I don't know why. I think my voice is very, what's it, fluid. I feel like I have a chameleon-like voice. Interesting. I can bring it to all sorts of situations.

You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't have a stereotype. It can blend wherever it needs to. Yeah, I read an article that people... I have dog hair in my mouth. I read in an article that people inherently respond better to voices that have more, like, baritone. Because we remind them of the sounds of the womb? Whoa. that people inherently respond better to voices that have more like baritone, like just like a, cause we're,

we remind them of the sounds of the womb. Whoa. Maybe that's a, that's a reason I, that sounded like a really weirdly random fucked up thing, but that's why a lot of babies like the low humming of a car. Cause it sounds like it gives you that, that muffled murmur and that like heavy.

Yeah. Sound of the womb. Interesting. Yeah. I guess that might be part of it obviously I did not come with that maternal instinct to have a baritone element that's why you have the dad that's why you have a boy cuz they can take care of that so anyway he had asked her mother for hair from Elena's head. No, you showed me the picture. Right. Right, right, right. So he fashioned a wig out of her real hair and put it on her head.

Then he filled her abdominal and chest cavity with rags to keep her original form intact-ish. Dressed her in stockings, jewelry, and gloves. She's trying to eat a piece of chocolate. I literally, I was mid-unwrapping a chocolate from your mother, and all I hear is, he stuffed her stomach in abdominal, whatever. Cavity. Cavity with rags, and I was like, eh. I saw the chocolate just go back down.

Like, you were bringing it to your mouth, and then it was gone. I was like, oh, no, I don't really want to eat this. He kept the body in his bed, but he was kind enough to put up a curtain veil between them to give her some privacy yeah he wanted to give her some privacy he did stuff her entire insides with rags but he wanted to give her enough privacy so he put a curtain up for like for her to just lie there yeah so she needs her privacy to lay down but not her privacy for you to rip her open to be in her own grave yeah no to be in her own stomach jesus so he um so obviously she smelled because she was a fucking

dead body i'm sorry that sounds like the bitchy thing that like a seventh grader would say like oh my god have you heard about kate like she smells because she's a dead fucking body this is where my fucking voice comes into play because it's like I sound like a bitchy 7th grader fuck me and then I hand her like some Holl some Hollister, like, body spray, and I'm like, dude, fuck the locker room in seventh grade. You know how everyone's, like, super dramatic?

He gets it. Yeah, he gets it. Like, I can just imagine a 12-year-old being like, oh my god, she smells, because she's obviously, like, a dead fucking body. She must be a corpse. That's so sad. Anyway, that's how I feel about everything you just said. You're bringing me back to my...

Can the title of this episode be The Bitchy Seventh Grader? Christine is a bitchy seventh grader. But it's also sad because she was bullied by bitchy seventh graders. I was too. Yeah. It's okay. Look where we are now yeah suck it find us on itunes and say to our popular say to our reviews man don't though because we have a really good streak going god damn it do not do not tell me i smell that would

be how they like a corpse that'd be how they'd get us back now though oh man can you imagine hey weren't you telling a story was i you know yeah i think you were oh okay oh oh was it about a dead body might have been oh all right anyway as i was saying she was a dead body so he used perfume disinfectants and preserving agents to try and cover the odor of her corpse in his bed. I just want to stress that she was lying in his bed. Okay. That's disgusting. It's foul.

Oh, my God. Okay, I won't go off on another tangent. Just get through the story. Okay. In October of 1940, which, by the the way is nine years after she had died uh to the month by the way uh how was she not like oozing and like dripping she was and he just kept like stuffing her they show they don't show everyone but if you're gross like me and look it up there's like they'll show you what a decomposing body looks like after like over time and like if

it's lying on the bed like it's literally melting into the bed like it's disgusting it's foul like i feel like at that point after nine years you could see like the rags again yeah oh yeah and he kept putting like wax and plaster like basically it was just like wrapping the photo you saw was like after those nine years because they finally discovered it and like took a photo but like all that time up to that it was probably it looked like literally michael myers like but yeah halloween yeah that's disgusting um okay so nine years after her death uh elena's sister heard a rumor that that carl was sleeping with her sister's dead body. The rumors started because Carl was routinely buying women's clothing, had stopped going to the mausoleum where he had gone every single night before,

and a boy had reportedly seen him in his window dancing with a giant doll. Shut up. He told people, oh, I saw him dancing with a giant doll. Honestly, at that point, though, I have to think it's actually a doll. Because if it were that body, it wouldn't have literally fallen apart in her hands. Gravity would literally have her head roll off. Well, he had coat hangers and he would tie it. I feel like that doesn't matter anymore.

I feel like you really had to put a lot of coat hangers in her neck for her head did not just roll away well the way they described is that he basically mummified her and he basically tied all her skeleton together with wires like right like an actual skeleton and then completely plastered her entire body and then like but was it wax yeah wax and plaster what did he do during aug August when it's hot? Did the body melt? Was it like a snowman and he kept having to put it back up? I mean.

Like just smushing it together? Maybe. But it was also plaster of Paris, which like hardens. So like it's like a cast. So he basically casted her entire body on top of her bones. It's like a dead Frosty. And apparently it's. a like a dead frosty and apparently it's no but sort of you know like if frosty were like oh i thought you meant like a wendy's frost no like

dead frosty the snowman sure you know what i mean sure like if you just encased frosty the snowman in like a sausage packaging yeah yeah except for he has to have bones and he's also decomposing so he smells really bad i just don't know how to put this in my head there's no way to describe it it's just awful um so anyway so the sister elena's sister confronted him at his home and discovered what she thought was a life-size doll of her sister the police she called the police because she was like what the fuck is going on they seized the doll which turned out to be elena's actual body they arrested and detained carl and he was found mentally competent to stand

trial which i don't know that's a lie how but whatever um while on the stand carl claimed he planned this is just beyond carl claimed he planned to use an airship to take hoyos to take elena high into the stratosphere so that radiation from outer space could penetrate her tissues and restore life to her somnolent form and then she'd come back to life and be like why are there rags in my stomach and also i told you no also why can't i see because my eyes are glass why can't i move because my spine is a wire oh it's so disgusting oh it's so disgusting and like literally she was 21 and he was like an elderly dude. And it's like she said no. It's so fucked up on so many levels.

Like he for sure, even when she was alive was not interested. No, she was like, you're fucking old. I'm 21. Anyway. This is disgusting. The case was dropped and he was released because the statute of limitations on grave robbing had expired. So he got to go home. What a little bitch.

Her body was examined by physicians and pathologists and put on display at the Dean Lopez Funeral Home and was viewed by almost 7,000 people, which is so mean. That's like reading Anne Frank's diary. Yes. She didn't want anyone to read that. Exactly.

It's like, here's my mannequin wax body. It's exploitation. this makes me think that ghosts can't be real because how was she not haunting the shit out of that guy that's a really good point you know but maybe when she died she was like at peace with her life and like peaced out i know but if i was at peace with my life and i saw someone doing that stuff to my body i would do a sharp u-turn and be like excuse me you'd be like hold on god i'll be like i'll be hang on i'll be i'll be there in a second i'll be back like you want to say that to my fucking face let's go and then i would possess him what a fucking pervert so anyway um 7 000 people viewed her body like it was some kind of circus display

uh it was eventually kind of circus display. It was eventually returned to the Key West Cemetery, and her remains were buried in an unmarked grave in a secret location so that our good friend Carl couldn't find her body. The case got a ton of press, obviously. And the public mood at the time was generally sympathetic. People saw him as a, quote, eccentric romantic. I'm sorry sorry they were sympathetic to him absolutely people thought he was so romantic crazy eccentric not even crazy eccentric

but they called it romantic and like a gesture of true love that he took her body home i mean it makes me so mad that literally makes me so mad like not to be that person but that no but that fucking fuels rape culture. I was literally going to say, I was literally thinking in my head, I was like, should I bring up rape culture? Because this is it. Like, she's 21. Oh, how sweet. He's fucking violating her body in every possible way.

And then he's, like, getting martyred. He's becoming a martyr. Totally. And he's like, and she says no in real life so when she dies he's like well now i can have you it's like some weird like how 12 year olds think romeo and juliet's so fucking romantic but it's like uh no they just killed themselves like that's not romantic bunch of idiots anyway that's so gross so gross so people were like oh what a romantic like there's newspaper art if you think he's so romantic why don't you fucking date him how about that yeah see what

happens to your live body oh that's so gross i know um later okay it's gonna get worse no it's not christine later research revealed make a liar out of me evidence of carl's necrophilia with the corpse where they found evidence of it? It's, yes, but it's debated. Where was the stuff that they found? Two physicians named Dr. Forker and Dr. Okay, this is a real name. His name is DePoo.

D-E capital P-O-O. Like, literally a fake name, DePoo. Which takes credibility away, in my opinion, but it's fine. Aww. Although I feel like he was born with that last name and was like, I must become a doctor to make. Yeah. I must make millions.

So people can't laugh at me when they need me. Like I need to poo. I need to poo. Send to poo. Send to poo. It's a terrible name. It's a terrible name. Bring me to poo. He should have changed his name to

Foncosel or whatever the fuck. So Dr. Forker and Dr. Dapoo, who attended the original autopsy of her remains, claimed that a paper tube had been inserted into her to allow for intercourse. Oh my god. Some people think it's a hoax

because the proof surfaced over 30 years after the case had been dismissed they claim it was always there um and the hbo show autopsy in 2005 did an episode on her and claimed that and like used that as part of their research but it's also debated because they were at the original autopsy and nobody reported it but again at the same time this was like but how fucked up do you have to be to add like add fuel to the fire sure like why are you salting wounds and you think about it like the autopsy was done what a hundred years ago so maybe they just didn't include it because it was like also i'm like, I don't have a penis. You don't? Mm-mm. I don't get it.

Well, but I'm assuming putting it in, like, a paper tube isn't doing it for you. I would think not. Like, literally when the body has, like, become gelatin, you've got other stuff to deal with. Like, that's super fucked up, but why would you put paper, like, a paper tube? Like, you couldn't find anything else in nine years like i should not be encouraging it i'm just confused why that was if you're gonna do necrophilia do it right as emily's slogan of the episode yeah like as fucked up as it is it's like i can't believe that was enjoyable yeah he literally spent hours like put it in like a dry it's just not you know it's horrible it's horrible like might as well put it through sharded

glass too oh okay anyway we can write all that out so after this oh we won't uh so so after this carl asked her family if he could have her body back shut up i'm not shut up i'm not even joking shut up and they were like were like, no, go fuck yourself. No. Instead, he created a forensic death mask, which is a plaster cast of her face. So he created his own like plaster face and then put it on a life size dummy that he created to look like her. And then he kept that in his bed until his death. He was found on the floor almost a month after his death,

reportedly wrapped in the arms of his dummy, of the Elena dummy that he had created. That's revolting. Think about Aisha and Crystal at this point. They literally, I can tell you one damn thing, neither of their names are Aisha and Crystal anymore. Exactly. They changed those names as fast as I could.

They're like, I don't know him. No. Can you, I mean, anyway. Can you imagine though? Fucked. When they're like in the shower or like alone and they're like forced to be with their thoughts. Yes. And they're like, that's my dad.

That's so fucked. Anyway. That's it? That's it. What the hell? He died in the arms of his creepy-ass dummy and everyone thought he was romantic. Yeah, I was going to say, I bet all the journalists thought that was such a romantic way to die. Literally, everyone was like, wow, true love.

Where are those people now so I can punch each of them? Every single one. In the nuts. And the face. And the vagina. Wherever it hurts. Wherever it hurts. I can't believe people thought that was romantic isn't that disgusting that's so disgusting but it shows you a sign of the times

like this was what 80 years ago i don't know but i wonder what people would think now because anyone who's like active on social media would probably like obviously defend her exactly but there's some sicko oh sure like on their own in their house who's like i don't see what's wrong with it she was dead it's not like she remembers but i think that's probably going to be the minority today i would hope because i feel like hope or i'm done with well especially with media like i think the media would be on i can't fucking believe her side because typically people are much more sensitive to that kind of thing. And no one arrested him. Oh, they did arrest him, and he went to trial,

but he went to trial for grave robbing, and so... But, like, nothing else. Like, not even, like... No. They couldn't get him on anything else? No. They couldn't find a reason? No.

Just grave robbing. And then when the time... By the time they got around to the trial, the statute of limitations was up. So they let him go. So like back then, like sodomy was illegal, but necrophilia wasn't?

Well, they didn't like, that's the thing. Like that wasn't part of their, like they don't know for sure if that was even part of the whole deal. Couldn't have someone lied and been like, that happened. Like just committed to that story.

You'd think, but I mean, he was, was i would have he was a true romantic you know just trying to get some love from his dead and he really looked like to remind everyone he looks like colonel fucking sanders like he's old he's he looks like literally like sigmund freud mixed with colonel sanders you're so right that's the grossest so look up her body it's creepy as fuck when you know it's like it looks fake like completely fake but he literally took like all her skin and tried to plaster it back together oh my god it's foul that's heinous anyway how do we end on a high note now you ask me that every week

we should start something where how like i do the milkshake and wine facts in the beginning oh i do like a fun thing at the end like a happy random fun fact at the end just to like seal the deal let me see just to leave people wanting more we should tell no that would be really bad i was gonna say we should tell an embarrassing story oh no it's not that i don't have enough. It's that I don't want to do it. And it's also going to be, our episode's going to be six hours long instead of an hour and a half. Well, we love you guys. I guess we're just going to leave it here. Sorry if we ruined your day.

But listen, she got her justice. He's dead now. Hopefully they're both in heaven going, what the fuck? That's how I'm going to raise my children someday. I'm going to be like, I don't know. They're in heaven now. Going,

what the fuck? I, my friend out here who has a kid, I went out to dinner with them and the little girl who's four was like starting to fall asleep at the table. And I was like, are you ready to go home? And she was like, hell yeah. And I was like, okay.

Oh my God, what a gem. I guess we're going home. By the way, guys, Gio and I had such a good bonding moment today. Yeah. Let's end it. Let's end it on that. That's a good note. Let's end on a Gio update.

We can do a Gio story. Aww. Remember when we first started this podcast we were gonna do a geos horoscope every week we were we could probably just start that there was a funny one that i read that i've bookmarked okay but i don't know it anymore it's somewhere on my computer but anyway tell your geo story yeah oh no that was the geo story what i was what was your moment we just had a good bonding moment we just we just embraced and oh my god laughed literally hugged you like he

does the hug where he puts his yeah he does this thing where he gets on his hind legs and only if he likes you and he gets on his hind legs and with his front legs he'll like give you a hug on your leg if you're standing and then you bend down and hug him while he hugs you it's then he puts his paws on each shoulder and then he licks your ear it's like he's saying hello but anyway that happened today it was exactly what i needed so yeah it's he's a sweetheart sometimes so next week should we start geo horoscopes oh that would be fun okay let's make that our thing that we sign off on yeah okay ps for all you patreon people i promise i'm working on the blooper reel yeah almost done we've literally been so busy we're trying very hard we haven't forgotten we have so much merch that's coming through right now that we're like there's just a million things

happening at once but i am going to edit this and then i'm going to edit our blooper reel and i'm going to have about eight million episode blooper episodes ready to go so don't worry they're coming thank you for your support yes we have awesome merch coming we're so excited and if you have any merch ideas or recommendations, please send them to us. Yeah. Thank you again to everyone who tweets us, follows us anywhere. It makes us feel really wanted. We love our Twitter.

We have so much fun on Twitter. My favorite thing to do these days is go on Twitter and see what people are saying. I go to work every morning and have my coffee. And before I investigate anybody, I just go through Twitter. And I'm like, life is so happy. So thank you to everyone who listens. have my coffee and like before i investigate anybody i just go through twitter and my life is so happy so thank you to everyone who listens you can follow us on facebook twitter instagram and that's why we drink at wwd podcast we have our email and that's why we drink at gmail.com please send us your stories we have a a listeners episode coming out. That's right. Soon. Soon. Next week?

Yeah, it's Monday. So it's like the day after the next episode. After this. So lucky then we'll get two. God, this keeps happening. We should have planned this out better. I know. But so please keep sending in your stories.

We really appreciate it. All right. All right, guys. And that's why we drink. That's the first time I did it, right? You had to point at me. I always go, and that's why we drink that's the first time I did it right you had to point at me I always go

and that's all for today she's like wait a second thank you guys alright thanks we love you all okay bye bye