And That's Why We Drink - E121 The Plumbing Dutchman and a Murderous Glow Down

Episode Date: May 26, 2019

Hold onto your bellybuttons, because it’s finally here! This week we had the pleasure of sitting down with the lovely gals of Wine & Crime to discuss “glow up” stories… Don’t worry, Christine had to google it too. Em takes “glowing up” quite seriously with their coverage of the Flying Dutchman and his glowing, skeleton-filled ship. Meanwhile, Christine takes somewhat of a left turn and covers the story of serial killer Jake Bird and his murderous hex that left six people dead. It was a glow up for him, but a glow down for the rest of the world. And that’s why we drink! Check out Wine & Crime on your favorite podcasting app, or at http://www.wineandcrimepodcast.com! Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Visit http://betabrand.com/drink for 20% off your new favorite dress pant yoga pants! For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, visit http://modcloth.com and enter code WHY at checkout! Get two months of Skillshare for FREE by visiting http://skillshare.com/drink2!Subscribe to The Dark Side Of on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, or visit http://parcast.com/darkside to listen now.

we're in christine's ghostly voice off in the distance we're in the main frame we're in the main frame i was looking i'm like okay say i'm ready tell them i'm ready it's very high i love it i love it all right uh so should we just start yeah yeah welcome welcome okay well can you tell the our shtick is that we don't know what we're doing? We're staring at each other desperately panicked. We're like, how do we do this? It's only been two and a half years. Hello, everybody. Welcome to A Mass Way Drink. This is a podcast about paranormal and true crime and also a lot of wine is involved which is why we've brought a couple guests over who are very good

at drinking wine talking about crime themselves and uh we are hello hello who are you tell tell the people oh we're the wine and crime gals our podcast best buddies i'd say i'd like to think that we're slowly morphing into one whole squad. This is absolutely happening. The world is like, oh no, please stop. Please stop. I've never heard of it. Usually, we actually,

I'm just jumping in really quick, but what we usually used to do over like a year ago is every episode we would talk about why we drink. And we have not done that in like a year well we do it anyway we just don't categorize it we just bitch and moan

right we just bitch but we forget to label it with and that's why we drink do any of you have a reason for why you drink this week maybe like the total loss of bodily autonomy in the United States

that's absolutely right the current administration total loss of bodily autonomy in the United States. Oh, yeah. The current administration. Yeah. Yeah. That's been why I've been drinking since like the last couple of years. Meanwhile, I'm like,

Oh, well I have kind of a headache, but yeah, also that. I do have one thing I want to drink about. Um, I recently found out that my

glasses that I'm currently wearing are like super broken which Christine doesn't know about we were in New York at the Webby's and then my glasses just shattered and so you can see the crack oh I see it it was a ghost

it punched you in the face a ghost decked me clear in the face it's currently being held together by uh cement rubber and industrial glue jesus christ and totally wow and it's not working so i think i'm about to just like harry potter tape them yes and so yesterday i went to go get new glasses and i guess it was like my time anyway i've had these glasses for a while and when i went to go order new glasses they did my vision and i've notoriously been legally blind my whole life so i was prepared for really expensive lenses and apparently i have like legitimate like visual needs with my lenses so i can't just right like it's more than progressive like

they gave me i used to be in trifocals since like 13 i didn't even know that was a thing oh it's a thing feel you emma i am full-on blind in one eye oh and kenyan and i both we both had eye patches when we were little, too. My eyes are fucked as well. My eyes are so messed up. And so not only am I back in trifocals, because for a while we tried to, like, get my eyesight to get its own shit together. So they put me back in bifocals, which is, like, does not make me sound any younger. Nice try. But so then I, now I'm in new trifocalsals and they also had to give me these really sensitive lenses

and so basically and also now that i've quit my day job where i used to get really good vision insurance i don't have anything so they were like well the price of your glasses are going to be minimum 450 dollars oh great and okay so that's I drink, because for the sake of sight, I guess I can't say no. Body autonomy and expensive glasses. Like eye autonomy. I'm also drinking because I had to hire a plumber recently, and I had to text him my address and a code to get into my apartment complex and whatever. And he texted back just the thumbs up emoji, eyes emoji, and the like water droplets emoji. Absolutely not.

How old was he? It sounds like he's a parent that just discovered emojis. He's a middle-aged Dutchman. So he doesn't maybe understand the underlying connotations of the squirting emoji. It was real awkward. Like, okay. You gotta change that code. Yeah.

Don't send him like a peach or an eggplant or anything. He might think you're talking about actual food. Oh my God. We'll have lunch together. Yeah, I think he's gonna think you're asking him to our lunch date um i'll bring our cobbler so we just did our own episode on the wine and crime show so if you would like to go listen to the wine and crime show i sound like i'm as old as that guy you're like the dutchman um but we just we just did an episode a crossover episode with wine and crime and so uh this is going to be coming out the same week as the episode that you guys put out?

I think so. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We can make that happen. Do you want to tell the peeps where they can find you if they like this episode so much they just have to go listen to yours? Say it, Canyon. We are Wine and Crime.

We're on all the podcatchers. And we have a website, wineandcrimepodcast.com. And, yeah, you can find us. You'll figure it out. You can just type in Wine and Crime into the search bar. Just type in the squirt emoji and they'll come up. Oh, my goodness. Actually, we should make ourselves searchable by the squirt emoji.

I am fully on board with that idea. You know, I have wondered, you know how like Instagram, you can, if you type in something for like an image in one of your stories, I'm surprised there aren't any that's by a drinker, wine and crime. I don't know how to make that happen, but I want us to get like little pictures for Instagram stories. All right, Lucy. Make it work.

Somebody do that, please. I don't fucking know how to do that. Are you kidding? No, I'm yelling at people listening. Between your audience and our audience, if someone knows how to do that, let us know. Because we'd love to have some sort of. You could call the plumber.

I think he knows a lot about technology. He knows a lot about emojis. So he could get us our own emoji. God. He's our social media marketing guy now. We just hired him. He's like a middle-aged Dutch plumber. His name. His name. And I could middle-aged Dutch plumber. His name,

his name, and I could not figure out if this was his first name or his last name, but his name... His name, Eva, was Gilroy. Oh, really? That's only making him sound older in my mind. I love it.

And more Dutch. Or Dutch. We just had our episode with them where the theme was glow ups so we covered or i guess they covered a couple glow up crimes and so now we are going to carry on that trend and we're going to cover some glow up stories for ourselves speaking of being elderly i had to google what glow up meant and uh apparently you're not alone two out of five of us needed to discover what... I was too scared to ask my 14-year-old sister because I was afraid she would post it on

Instagram, a screenshot of my text being like, what is a glow-up? I mostly knew what it was, but I also wasn't 100% sure, and the first few times I used that phrase, it was like, glow-up. We do keep screaming at Kenyon to

glow the fuck up. I know. I want to glow the fuck up i know i want to fuck up it's really fun so great we want to cover our own glow up stories um but before we do we realize that we've actually had wine crime on before and there was a paranormal story that we were supposed to hear from them last time oh god fucking kept it from us. Oh, God. And they've held it this entire time, so... We just got drunk and forgot to tell it last time. Well, last time Christine also got drunk and then had to go to her tax appointment. My bank account, I'd love that.

You're dangerous to have as friends. Oh, very true. I'm the ultra-enabler. Christine was like, should I drink a whole bottle of wine at 10am? And I was like, if you don't, I'll leave. You're like, I see you pulling the cork out and it's too late for me to do anything. That being said, before we get into our own glow up stories, would you guys be so willing to share your personal paranormal story that I've been waiting for for the last year to hear?

Yes. So I'll kick it off, I guess i guess unless lucy do you want to start with the origin uh yeah okay we're gonna make this as short as possible because this particular story spans a lifetime like oh my god at least a decade so when we were around buckle in for the next 10 years yeah buckle the fuck in so when we were around i want to say like 12 13 14 before we could drive we would hang out we hung out at a laundromat yeah we were the kids we lied to our parents we lied to our parents saying we wanted to go bowling

Had them drop us off at the bowling alley Then didn't bowl and went next door To the attached laundromat In the strip mall To just hang out That sounds like something kids in the 70s did With a big glass bottle of coke A thousand percent it was so wholesome

It was so fucking wholesome We were literally We sat on machines running other people's laundry and like talked and read old magazines and hung out yeah so some of these old magazines uh there were a bunch called what were they called true stories true stories and it was just it was kind of like a trashy reader's digest yeah stuff you'd find in the checkout line at the grocery store. If we were to publish a magazine together today,

that's what it would be. Yes, 100%. And some were like kind of erotic. Oh, no wonder you guys kept going back to the laundromat. No wonder we told our parents we were at the bowling alley. You're sitting on the dryer and reading in an erotic

magazine. i really appreciate when somebody did a permanent press cycle uh so mom i need a lot of quarters for the bowling alley so many quarters so anyway we're browsing through these magazines as we usually did and you know there are those old advertisements for like collectible dolls that you'd like send in a check for. Yeah. So one

of them, her name was Shannon. She had the most disturbing face. Y'all. It was a smile but it was like a grimace. Didn't we send? Yes, I emailed the photos face. It was a smile but it was like a grimace. You sent us pictures. Is this the time to look at it? Yes, I emailed the photos to Em. Look at

the photos. And this is the doll brand new. This is brand new. This is not like warped over years of being passed down through a family. Can Em please say again the subtext on this? It looks like a picture it looks like a like a

live child at a doing professional photos where they're lying on that weird white pillow behind a backdrop in front of a backdrop someone did like with like ginger hair right and so yeah it looks like it's like a four-year-old child except it's a doll and it says Shannon in big purple letters. But on top of that, the slogan is a big smile for daddy. Kill me now, please. Which I love. For her best. Which Amanda likes into, yeah. Yeah.

I'm always giving a big smile for daddy. This child and her daddy's a photographer and she's posing for daddy. No, absolutely not. This is a true crime story, isn't it? Absolutely not. Yeah. I remember the advertisements. There was a full-on backstory about Daddy.

It was disgusting. I just want to reiterate. We ripped it out. We had the actual advertisement for a while, but it's been lost. This was in the days of borrowing Mom's cell phone to go out. We were literally the year 2000 yeah also she has like she has like no upper teeth and just like it's like gummy it's like gummy and then like two bottom teeth it's disgusting you guys it's really disgusting so we tore her out and then like as soon as we did so,

and we made jokes about how she's haunted, and we have to get our hands on a Shannon doll. And then odd things began to happen, and I will turn it over to Kenyon. Holy shit. Yeah. So we tore her out of the magazine, and then she definitely began to haunt us because it's so it's so bad you guys the last day of freshman year of high school

lucy scott and i scott is our we joke that he's our fourth girl um we went on a road trip to South Dakota with my mother. And it was really fun, actually. It's like 90% of my high school memories are from this trip. Yeah, it was fun. It was ridiculous. But at one point, we're in this national park in South Dakota, and we walk into this restaurant, in South Dakota and we walk into this restaurant and there is a massive wall-to-wall glass display of like ceramic like porcelain dolls it was like a big old curio cabinet oh my god okay and one of

it's so it's so fucking creepy and one of the dolls was the Shannon. Literally the Shannon. The doll from the magazine. Big smile for daddy? Yeah. Yep. Smile big for daddy. And we were marked upon it and were creeped and laughed and whatever. So then we go and we sit down and we have dinner.

And then in the middle of it, I go up and go to the bathroom and in the bathroom i like feel something weird in my belly button like my belly button feels wet it itched you were we were complaining about an itchy belly button yeah okay and i went and i looked and my belly button was just bleeding profusely. Full of blood. Full of blood. Dripping blood. What the actual hell are you talking about? I don't know how to make it

any more clear than a bleeding belly button. I have nothing else to offer. I'm not into this. When I tell you that is foul. Yeah. Especially because we have recently had a conversation about like gross things that we hate about body parts and my biggest fear is like if you think about a belly button it's technically like just kind of knotted up and i'm afraid that

one day it's just gonna unravel itself well it sounds like that's what happened oh my god oh you can rip it out there's like membrane inside your body on the other side of your belly button. Why would you even go there? I love this so much. I heard of a chick that got her belly button ring snagged on something and it ripped it out.

Goodbye. No. Goodbye. Ma'am. No ma'am. I quit. I quit. So then as we're leaving I dabbed it with paper towel I was just like I'm 13

This is weird I didn't realize your period came out of here I'm confused Does anyone have a tampon? We need comprehensive Sex ed I fucking missed this class i guess this is what happens so as we're leaving this restaurant in the middle of like a random national park in

south dakota we walk outside and there is this massive fucking moth on the wall it was a it was like a luna moth and it was honestly the size of my face it was crazy ridiculous huge moth and we're like oh my god that's so weird whatever so then like two days later we go to some random town in south dak Dakota and we're staying in like a bed and breakfast that my mom had booked. And we walk in and this old lady is like the innkeeper. And she's like, hey, I'm like one milky eye. She literally had one milky eye. And like all the furniture was like Victorian with like doilies everywhere. It was like, yeah, so fucking creepy, you guys.

And you know her milky eye is like the eye that sees all. Oh, absolutely. Of course. She's the oracle. Past, present, and future. It goes straight through your belly button and into your soul. Yes. A billion percent.

So then we walk in to the bed and breakfast and she's like i've just i'm giving you 50 off because of the millers and we were like what who are the millers yeah we didn't understand but also like growing up my mom and i did not have a lot of money and my mom's paying for this whole trip so she was like cool 50 off the millers, yeah. Not asking any questions. It's the middle of the day. We go up to our room. It's a beautiful room. It's all fine, whatever.

We go out. We do whatever we do during the day. We come back in the evening. No. And your belly button's on the floor. My belly button has become a portal to another universe. No.

The entire room, and I am not exaggerating, the entire room was covered in moths. The millers. The brownish gray.

That's how many moths there were. Every square inch of this hotel room was covered in moths. Millions. Like exorcist style

moths. Every single surface imagine moth wallpaper everywhere apparently like every very many years there's like this insane yeah like plague

of moths yes but way worse and it just happened to like arrive on the day that they saw the shannon in that fucking restaurant that is so gross so we were like we had a bunk bed i remember lucy and i were sharing a bunk and and scott had the other bunk and we had like filled it with sheets so we could like hide ourselves from the mods and then lucy lucy 50 off you kidding me like that's not a bargain anymore it is it's still a bargain we will always

be that cheap you have to pay the emotional toll i'm cheap i'm fully cheap enough to sleep among the moths we were in like rural south dakota there was nowhere else to sleep it was ridiculous and also we're minnesotan and my mom's minnesotan so she didn't cause a fuss but then we like asked for or found a vacuum cleaner in the closet and lucy and i like vacuumed up like approximately 1 million moths they went so gross so I also have like basically a shadow box that Kenyon and her mom made for me for my birthday, which has a photo of Kenyon and me celebrating after we killed the last moth. You can clearly see a dead moth on the bottom of the flip flop I'm wearing. There is an actual moth that they glued to a little piece of tag board. And then there's a cut out of the newspaper that's titled

Plague of Moths. They're everywhere and they're annoying. That's one word for it. I'm sending it to you now. So this was just one what we have come to term Shannon incident and they always

came in like rules of three. Yeah. It was bizarre so we had a stretch of time with the shannon where like someone in our high school got into a pretty tragic accident falling off of a horse they survived horseback riding but had a tbi and then within like a day of that my parents had found that dead horse in the middle of the highway highway 62 yeah an unridden dead horse and then there was like a third horse thing that i can't oh my aunt my aunt we went horseback riding and when my aunt was in town and her horse got spooked and rolled over on her and she got five broken ribs and a bruised kidney and all of this all of this horse related stuff happened like within a couple weeks

of us a talking about the shannon which like we would go long stretches without even like bringing her up uh-huh and then would be like oh remember how fucking weird the shannon is and they'd be like oh fuck we talked about the shannon and then like three horse related incidents happened within the next two weeks yeah horses literally Horses, moths. I'm sorry that you're about to literally go on tour. Yeah, we're all going to be. I know. I'm going to get bad timing for you guys. Good luck.

Oh, fuck. We're telling the Shannon story within two weeks of leaving for tour. We're totally dead. We're all fucked. You're literally going to walk to an empty stage and no one's going to have bought tickets. No, don't say that. You know what? Except a bunch of horses.

A bunch of moths will be in the audience. The audience is only moths and horses. I'm here for it. Giving us a fluttering ovation. Julie, if you go into a green room, though, and it's just covered in moths, just leave. Just leave. Just walk out. You can leave or know full well that you arranged something mean.

Yeah, they're like, you know, we don't fucking trust you. I'm not going to say that I'll call the green room and arrange a bunch of moths to be there. I'm just saying that there may or may not be a horse in the middle of the room. Please find it in your budget to make any of this happen. Don't worry. I'm already on our Wells Fargo trying to figure it out. Speaking of glow-ups, thank you for sending us

this picture of you because it's miraculous. Speaking of glowing up, Kenyon and I just have braces on our entire heads. Oh, yeah. Big time. We were thin, though. We were thin.

We were thin. Because we were 13. That is the Shannon. There were, like, a trillion other stories that happened all in, like, weird, you know, trios of, like, three. Like, there was, like, a warning, and then there was, like there was like a warning and then there was like a first incident and then there was like a second really bad incident like a finale

she always warned us though she did warn us she's like please stop talking about me and then you're like well here we have microphones now yeah this is the ring we're addicted to attention to the world so that it'll move on from us yeah you're welcome bye we have about 13 different robert the dolls sitting in our

room though yeah we've got our own curses to worry about somebody mailed us a fucking gigantic box one time and it was just filled with like sawdust and we pulled out this doll with a horse and like huge and then it was like a note that said, our barn caught on fire and our house caught on fire after we adopted this doll. Here, you can have it. I was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? No.

No. It's in the closet downstairs. Didn't we try to find and order a Shannon doll, but it arrived and it like wasn't the right one? Oh, no. Uh-oh. I'm going to Google it. Yeah, I really tried to order the Shannon doll but it arrived and it like wasn't the right one. Oh no. Uh oh. I'm going to Google it. Yeah I really tried to order the Shannon doll.

She never arrived and I think I spent like $65 trying to get her. Did she never arrive? She never arrived. I thought we got a doll that was like clearly not the same doll. What was wrong with her? What did she look like? Did she have one milky eye? No doll ever arrived. This was like

pre-Amazon. This was an eBay situation and it like, you know, again, it was the year 2000. We couldn't trust anything on the internet. That's true. Yeah. Maybe don't get one for a while, especially until you at least finish touring. I'm back online searching for it right now.

Nothing can stop me. Just found one. Used used shannon a big smile for daddy ashton drink doll boxed porcelain collectible make an offer damn straight i'm making an offer what up here we go send us all right we mailing address um oh my god okay i actually do have m's mailing address so we'll just talk about this after the show. Fuck you guys. No, yeah. It's fine.

It's going to be fine. Love you, Em. No comment. No comment. Well, that is the story of the Shannon. Thank you for letting us hijack the first half of your show. Of course. Of course.

I mean, that's what, please hijack it. I think Shannon hijacked a lot more than you guys did. Yeah. I think she really stole your thunder there. That's true. You're absolutely right. Y'all about, you guys did. Yeah, I think she really stole your thunder there. That's true. You're absolutely right. Y'all about, you're cursed. Here's the thing.

As soon as we spoke with Wine and Crime and we were told that we were doing glow-up stories, I was like, how on earth am I going to make a ghost a glow-up story? Because there was only one that I could think of that we've already covered before and there was uh one ghost story where she actually was able to solve her own murder that was pretty glow up because she everyone thought that i forget what the story was but she

ended up showing showing her mother that her husband had killed her and oh yeah that's fucking badass and then directed to where uh she had been her and buried her. Oh, that's fucking badass. And then directed to where she had been buried to give them proof. Wasn't that one of the Ouija board crimes? Yeah, it was something like I did like a Ouija board crime story theme one time. And it was like the evidence that

she directed her mom to actually ended up being able to get used in court. And it was one of the only court cases in the world where a ghost was able to be a witness. oh my god i love that good well we've already covered that so well it's not what we're talking about so the end uh so other than that story i was like what on earth am i gonna do and then for a while i was like well maybe i'll i thought about maybe like covering like casper the friendly Ghost purely because he's friendly. But then I've already done that story.

And he glowed up into Devon Sawa. It was a whole thing. Talk about a glow up. Yeah. And because the woman from my case in our episode of Glow Up Crimes was a stunt driver in Casper the Friendly Ghost. It was very weird that you mentioned that because I was like, oh, that's a little that's a little in a magical art. We mind melded. Well, sorry to to upset everyone doing this.

I like to tease. I like to tease. So this story I'm covering is I'll explain at the end how I made the connection from Casper to this. But I'm going to be covering the glow up of the Flying Dutchman. Wait, we were just talking about the Dutchman! Which is weird because you just kept saying Dutchman and I was like, I have to get my mouth shut. Wait, at the beginning I said you're the Flying Dutchman.

You're Plumber. Listen. I literally called you the Flying Dutchman a few months ago. All of our brains are syncing up too well. This is so weird. This is not good. This is bizarre.

I don't like that. You kept saying Dutchman. I gotta go. You only said it once and I was like, okay, that's weird't like that you kept saying Dutchman I gotta go you only said it once and I was like okay that's weird and then you kept saying it and I was like

okay okay and then I went haha like flying Dutchman and then you were probably like god damn it yeah so everyone stole my thunder thank you for that

I have literal chills that's what happens when you listen to and that's why we drink guys I know that's what happens when we drink coffee for every meal too

so okay so the flying Dutchman let's take it away i'm gonna move the microphone a little to me christine since it's my moment to shine okay yes so amanda's like please give me more yes i need more of that voice so the flying dutchman is a glowing ghost ship that is said to materialize suddenly and then vanish just as suddenly. So it's literally glowing is what you're trying to tell me. It's literally. It's glowing up. The first word of the first bullet is glowing.

Okay. So I'm trying to get my glow up in really fast. So in nautical folklore, if you see the ship, it is a warning of misfortune and death. And everyone that sees the ship, apparently they see it differently. So sometimes it looks brand new. Sometimes it looks like really fucked up and tattered and just fresh out of a war. And most of the times that people see the ship are during extreme storms with really rough waters. I don't like that.

But there have been exceptions where it was on Clear Nights 2 which I will talk about later And on Spongebob And on Spongebob Oh yeah That's literally how I remember The Flying Dutchman it's from that Spongebob episode I just said that and Em was like fuck you And then pointed at their notes and it's like

Literally about Spongebob You guys keep picking all of the most important words You got Casper, you got casper you got dutchman you got fucking spongebob i don't even need to be here i'm sorry like i blame shannon yeah okay it's for sure always she's channeling us she's channeling us so uh if you look at the storm, apparently if you like see an oncoming storm and try to see through it, that is when you will see a ghostly ship with a captain on board and a crew

of skeletons. Yes. And apparently that is a warning that you're about to die. Great. Oh, great. Which is interesting that enough people have lived to tell the tale of what they saw and did not die. Right.

No comment. Yeah, really. Which is interesting that enough people have lived to tell the tale of what they saw and did not die. Right? No comment. Yeah, really. I have questions. Maybe they said it, and then, like, five minutes later, they died. Maybe. This reminds me of that, like, hippie band that we listened to, that, like, stoner band that we listened to a lot in high school. Do you know what I'm talking about? Dispatch?

Dispatch. Dispatch. Yes. I knew exactly. It was a stoner band. It was a dispatch song. You remember you remember where it's like no red moon blah blah blah sailors delight blah blah sailors take fright oh it's a it's oh now i'm now i can't remember oh red sky in the morning of sailors morning yes yes i i used to know that very well

because i went to a school in a nautical town like everything was like ocean sea based and like if you didn't go to college there you were in the navy but everyone used to say that shit all the time like uh red sky night sailors delight red sky in the morning sailors warning there was a whole bunch of weird like nautical captions that showed up creepy rhymes yeah the song is called stles, if anyone wants to know. Steeples. There you go. There you go from that stoner band dispatch that I was obsessed with.

Yes. It was a stoner band, but I think it was also like a Christian band. Weren't they Christian? I don't know. Don't ruin my youth. I truly thought that that was just something that we said at college. I didn't know there was a thing that

people actually said. Oh, it's a thing. Well, it's like originally like a sailor thing. Yeah, it's like a pirate phrase. I thought it was like in a shanty and that was it. Like a pirate shanty. What? Like a hut? And I thought like the Navy picked it up.

Describe in detail a pirate shanty for us real Like a hut? And then I thought like the Navy picked it up. Describe in detail a pirate shanty for us real quick. Like the song? Yeah. It's not like a hut. It's like old pirate songs were called pirate shanties. Like a chanty?

Can we get back to the task at hand here? Shanties are like songs that pirates sing on a boat. I'm right there with you, Em. Thank you. Finally, I don't look stupid for once in my life. These fucking idiots. I may not know how to pronounce Segway, but I know what a fucking shanty is.

I think it's pronounced as a shoopy. We're going to show with shanties and Segways. Yeah, but let's Segway back into the story before you guys steal my limelight again. Okay. Okay, so most people say that the ship looks like it's sailing quickly through the waters as if it's charging you.

Uh-oh. And then right before it hits your boat, then it disappears. It's said that the ship is cursed and can never make it to port, so it is doomed to sail the seas forever. And some have said that the ship has actually somehow delivered letters to them.

I don't know how that works. But a lot of people have said that when they saw the ship, then all of a sudden these weird mystic letters appeared that they found that were all the delivery address was to people who had died like 50 years ago.

Ew. Gross. So apparently if you see that, that means you have the worst omen of all and not only is misfortune coming to you, but you and everyone on the ship will die. Oh, good. And you need to update your Rolodex

because these folks have been dead for years. And then whoever's sending these needs to really get their Excel sheets together with with yeah still living your shit together learn how to send a gmail so uh sailors say that the flying dutchman has led their ships astray uh and gotten them lost making them crash on hidden rocks and reefs and verbal stories of this have go all the way back to the 1600s oh but uh there weren't written mentions of it until the 1700s, and then sightings began getting reported in the 1800s. But since the 1600s,

the Flying Dutchman has been a thing that people talk about. So when folklore began back in the 1600s, the stories originated on the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa. Woo! Bentley! Yay! I'm trying to cover all my bases here. Glow the fuck up. Yes. Yeah, come on.

Glow up. Glow up in the Cape of Good Hope. So, apparently it's near Cape Town. Yep. Yeah. Do you know Cape of Good Hope? Yep. Yep. I've been there. They have an incredible museum.

About the Flying Dutchman? Maybe. Yeah, actually, there is part of that about the Flying Dutchman. Oh, well, look at that. Wow, I'm really, like, on top of it today. It's the southernmost point in Africa. That was one of the next things I had to say. That was one of the next fun facts, so we were going to steal it from you no matter what.

Em, you can go. I think I should. That was actually my next fun fact, so we were going to steal it from you no matter what. Em, you can go. I think I should. We got this. Come visit. I'm here for one more year. You guys can just pool all of your information that you know together to make one story. I call SpongeBob. That's my information.

God. You got it. You got it, sister. So the Cape of Good Hope has always been known for shipping disasters, apparently. I guess back in the 1400s, it was known as the Cape of Storms. But now that title has been changed to now Cape Horn is nicknamed the Cape of Storms. So there's two Cape of Storms. But the original one was the Cape of Good Hope.

And it was called that ever since it was first navigated in 1488. As an American, it blows my mind that the 1400s is even a time right and the cape of good hope was known for unpredictable water uh unpredictable weather strong currents and rocky grounds so pretty much if you decided to take that unprotected sex it sounds like you're not going to be making it out without consequence. What I learned from the museum there is that it's where let's see, the Atlantic and the Indian Ocean meet

and there's all types of crazy currents. The wind is different. The currents are different. The water is different. I don't know. It's very, very, very dangerous, especially during those times with that, you know, the technology that they had. Right. Lots of shipwrecks.

The Atlantic Ocean is very cold and the Indian Ocean is very warm. And so it creates like crazy like whirlpools and nonsense right at that point. whirlpools and nonsense right at that point. It's really difficult to navigate, especially if, like, as a captain of a ship, if you've never experienced that and you don't know how to navigate it or where

this shit's gonna happen, like, good luck. Okay, again, like, you guys know way more than I do about my own story. I just live here. You should have known bringing up South Africa that this was gonna happen. way more than I do about my own story. I just live here. I just live here. You should have known bringing up South Africa that this was going to happen. So they ended up renaming it because it was called the Cape of Storms because it was so,

so dangerous, as you have just schooled me in entirely. And it was renamed from the Cape of Storms into the Cape of Good Hope because it ended up becoming a shortcut later to direct access to India. And so it should have been called Cape of fucking good luck. Exactly. You better hope you're going to survive. Yeah. Fingers crossed. It was a really, really risky route, but a lot of captains tried to use it because it just meant that they were going to get there so much faster. And one of those captains was the captain of the ghost ship. And either the captain's name is the Flying Dutchman or the ship's name is the Flying Dutchman, but we don't know. Usually it's associated more with the ship.

It's the ship. It's the ship? Mm-hmm. You let me know. I can say with confidence it's the ship. Okay, well, we've got an expert here a technical advisor finally i'm so i like museums okay no i'm you are the worst this is so useful after 120 episodes of me being like i don't know i'm so glad there's so much audience

is gonna navigate toward you guys and be like we're gonna get such less emails now because uh finally someone doesn't have to educate me after the fact it's just happening so uh fewer emails i know i know i know i almost said that i was waiting for lucy if you play back and hear my hesitation my head was going i need to fix that and i was like i'm not going to lucy and christine will fix it for you it's fine for the millionth time i'm not ever at like trying to pretend like i'm the intelligent one here anyway uh so one of the captains was on the flying dutchman who chose to take this route um there are two men who could have been the captain of the Flying Dutchman.

The first one, which I guess is better known. Fill on in if you want to give an opinion here. Do you recognize the name Captain Hendrick Vanderdecken? Nope. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. That's my plumber. He loves the water, the squirting emoji.

It makes sense. Good Lord. So the first one who's better known is Captain Hendrik van der Decken. And this story takes place in 1641. This is supposedly the origin story of the Flying Dutchman. So van der Decken was taking his ship to Amsterdam and he decided that he was going to take the ship through the short cut of Cape of Good Hope purely just to get there faster. And when they finally turned into the Cape, that was when a storm suddenly moved in.

So they realized too late that they were in for an adventure. in for an adventure. And his men begged him to reverse course. And there are a couple different versions of the story. One is basically that they asked him to turn around and he tried, but it was already too late. So they just had to brave on. Or he said,

no, I'm not even going to try to turn around. And he was desperate to get there quickly. And he just said, let's move on. Let's move forward. So regardless of what the origin to that was, he said, no, we're going to keep going. So his men were terrified and didn't want to. And so a mutiny formed on the ship and got to a point where the group of people who were fighting against the captain saying we don't want to go.

It became either a drunken bra fighting against the captain saying we don't want to go it became either a drunken brawl or the captain snapped and he killed the leader of this mutiny group in the middle of also trying to navigate through this storm. That's a lot to juggle. It's a lot. A lot of moving parts.

A lot of pressure. A lot of pressure. Yeah. Lucy and I grew up sailing and like it's hard enough to like trim the jib while also like having a conversation like it's also singing sound of music songs at the tops of our lungs well imagine uh half of the people on the ship disagreeing to help and you're also stabbing someone to death. Oh, so like when Scott sailed with us. So, so he ended up killing the leader of the mutiny, threw him overboard. And so then this is where things are kind of bananas because one of two things happened. He said at some point he said that he would complete the journey around the Cape. Like once the body hit the water, the last thing he was known saying was that he would make the complete journey around the Cape, even if it took him, quote, until doomsday.

Oh, yikes. That somehow leads to the legend of, OK, well, now they're sailing until doomsday and for eternity. legend of okay well now they're sailing until doomsday and for eternity um but the story of him saying that comes in multiple versions there are different stories that say that he had a conversation after he threw the leader overboard with either an angel a devil or the ship itself so none of them are totally factually based i don't all of the above um so they are all pretty much the same story uh it just depends on which version you're hearing who he's talking to so they all do say the second that the body of the man he killed went overboard and hit the water the second it hit the water that was when he heard a voice and it could have either been an angel a devil or the ship itself um asking him if he really

wanted to go around the cape and if he really wanted to kill that guy or if he just wasn't thinking clearly and then that is when he replied with the i don't care i'm going to take this journey even if it takes me eternity right so then the ship slash angel slash devil said and this is apparently a quote i don't know who what source they got this from vice online right uh the quote is as a result of your actions you are condemned to sail the oceans for eternity with a ghostly crew of dead men, bringing death to all who sight your spectral ship and to never make port or know a moment's peace. Oh, dear God. And to always wear egregious amounts of eyeliner.

Yeah. This is a rude as fuck prophecy, too, because it's like you're condemned to do this, but also you're going to kill anyone else who sees your ship, who has nothing to do with you, but we're just going to tack that on to be assholes. Tsk, tsk, that you killed someone. So now for eternity, you will kill many. And then the quote says, furthermore, apparently on the ship,

furthermore, Gaul shall be your drink and red hot iron your meat so i looked up what gall was apparently i don't want to know i'm scared i thought it was like gallbladder that's what i assumed yeah that's where my brain was going apparently it's in the bible as like it's in vinegar and it's super bitter it's kombucha yeah it's probably it's straight up it's fucking pepsi furthermore gall shall be your drink and red hot iron your meat so his response to all this now that he's been cursed to sail the seas for eternity apparently all he said was amen to that and finished his drink so so that's where the curse uh allegedly began okay so he's either it's either a ghost it's either a ship that's a ghost or it was cursed by the devil himself or cursed by an angel which i

know angels could do um or it was just the his insanity where he was talking to the ship and it's very confusing on the origin there's a whole bunch of different versions yeah it's a trinity plumber sounds fun i like the kamucha one for sure plumber did a stand-up job but also condemned me to sail the high seas for all eternity so it's a whole thing it's give and take it's one of those scenarios that led to the ship being cursed to sail forever but apparently that's more likely to be the angel version or the ship version because there's actually in different stories talking about how he spoke to the devil uh the devil actually like gives him like a freebie every now and then and says you're doomed to sail forever. But you have the potential once every seven years to walk on land and find a woman to love you and break the curse, which is very Little Mermaid.

Little Mermaid. Which is weird because we talked about Little Mermaid earlier. We really did. Pulling up some legs. Yeah, we get an opportunity to have legs once every thousand years it truly i mean it very much is like oh i'll let you walk on land for a day and then you have to fall in love or else you're doomed to the seas that's literally little mermaid yeah well thank god there's tinder now it makes it a lot easier for him to do that

that's true i don't think the devil accounted tinder that now he could probably talk to women all year long and just not be seriously yeah so jokes on you satan so the biggest problem proving this story beyond the fact that there's there cannot possibly be a record of that conversation is uh that there is no actual record of a captain named hend van der Decken from that time. So they think that the captain must be someone else. And the best guess that people have come up to is that the captain of the Flying Dutchman must have been the captain Bernard Fokke.

Fokke? F-O-K-K-E. We're not going to correct you. We don't fucking know. I'm not Dutch. All all right pretty sure it's pronounced fuck okay it sounded like it sounds like fuck to me yeah so he was employed by the dutch east india company and that was the same company that actually owned the fleet of ships that the flying dutchman was a part of um he sailed up into his 70s throughout the 1600s. He was lost at sea after trying to turn or try to go through the Cape.

So all of it kind of adds up better. He was also famous for his fast transits through the Cape. He apparently can make it from Amsterdam to Indonesia in three months or less. Damn. So this reputation of him being really fast on the water had sailors saying that he must have traded his soul for super speed during a game of dice with the devil, which is another version of the devil being involved.

It's making our 45-hour travel time to South Africa sound a lot better. Yeah, it is. You sold your souls to the devil to get here in 45 hours. Just saying. If that's all I get. I'm just saying, yeah. Economy on an 18-hour flight.

I don't know. Get some legs out of it. You're fine. Hi. I have been back to the States and back to South Africa five times this year. And it is.

That's your choice. Minimum 24 hours each time we don't feel bad for you good good good try so because because he was such a fast traveler he potentially could have earned the name Flying Dutchman while he was alive although there is no record of that it could very well be him because at least there is uh documents proving that he worked with the with the Dutch East India Company and was known to be one of their fastest captains. So

Van der Decken is, as far as I'm concerned, less likely to have actually been the captain because there was no record, but he is best known as the captain of the Flying Dutchman because of a book that came out called The Phantom Ship that talked about a fictional captain with the last name Vanderdecken who was the captain

of the Flying Dutchman. Every time you say Vanderdecken, I always hear Turducken. Or Vanderpump. I was going to say Vanderpump for sure. Yeah. The turkey with a duck inside with a chicken inside with a Lisa Vanderpump inside. Now on Bravo. Now on Bravo.

Truly, if we could get Vanderpump to make a Vander-ter-duckin', that would be the... The latest thing. The holiday stuff. It's glazed with rosé. So the book was total fiction, but it came out shortly after an opera called The Flying Dutchman. And so a lot of people read that book next and it gained a lot of popularity. So everyone knew the name Van der Decken and that's why they think that he must be the captain

even though that's not actually how it probably went down. I like this theory though. We have a regular old Shazam situation on our hands. Can we not? Berenstain Bears. Oh my gosh. Here are some uh the sightings that people have experienced so in 1881 which is probably the most exciting uh sighting that i've heard is that there has actually been an official royal report from prince george who was the future king george v of

england um he said that he spent three years traveling with his brother um as a midshipman and the royal log actually dates that on july 11th 1881 while on a british royal naval vessel um they were off the australian coast at 4 a.m and here is the quote from the log the flying dutchman crossed our bows a strange red light as of a phantom ship all aglow uh the officer from the bridge clearly saw her as did the quarter deck midshipmen but on arriving there was no vestige or any sign of any material ship either near or right away to the horizon and the night was clear and the sea was calm so no basically the closer they got to the ship they thought that they saw it but there was no trace of it by the time they reached it, even though it was a clear night out. So there's no reason for there to have been a ship missing.

Usually, if you like I said, if you see the ship, that means that misfortune is coming. And since they wrote about it and then he became a future king, clearly he didn't die. he became a future king clearly he didn't die um however after they wrote that report then like only hours later the next report in the royal log of that ship is the ordinary seaman who was uh who that morning reported the flying dutchman fell from the top mast cross trees and was smashed to atoms. Oh! Oh no! Oh no! So, someone died. He didn't, but there was still this fortune brought to them. Smashed to atoms. And then in 1939, there was a group of people who saw the ship when they were on a beach,

and it was charging the shore, and then very quickly disappeared, which actually did get mentioned in the local paper. And there have also been two different people during World War II who said that they saw the ship charging them and then vanishing before their very eyes. And in 1942, the last sighting that people have seen, it was four people that saw the Dutchman sailing into Table Bay, and then it vanished and has never been seen again.

That's just a very small sampling of the sightings that I was able to find online. Apparently, people have been seeing it since the 1600s or since the 1800s. So there's a lot of stories if you guys do want to look. Those are just some that I was able to pull. And the Flying Dutchman could just be inspired by stories of captains trying and failing to pass through the Cape of Good Hope, which is kind of fucked up. Like an excuse. It's like, oh, well, an homage to you failing. Let's talk about all of the dead bodies on a ghost ship somewhere.

It wasn't me. It was ghosts. Right. It was the ghosts. And however, it could also have been inspired by earlier beliefs that souls cross into the afterlife through the waters. So they think that that might have been an inspiration for how the Flying Dutchman story came to be as a ghost ship. Because for everyone that passed away in that area, because it was such a tough journey, they think that maybe if you see that ghost, you're just seeing, or if you see that ship,

you're just seeing past sailors who tried to take that journey. I want to go down to Cape town and just like, keep my eyes peeled. Seriously. During a stormy day and don't bring Shannon. Oh my God. This, this was a weird fact that I, I read and I don't know how accurate it is, but I do want to share it. Apparently because pirate ships were just as equal of a threat at the time as fact that i i read and i don't know how accurate it is but i do want to share it um apparently

because pirate ships were just as equal of a threat at the time as equal probably more since they're not fucking ghosts yeah let's be real but they were a realistic threat however um crews at the time were had to be wary of pirate ships disguising themselves as the flying dutchman no way because ships then if you saw the Flying Dutchman, a lot of them saw it approaching them and there was nothing they could do. They just had to sit there and watch it happen. And so a lot of pirate ships would dress up

as the Flying Dutchman so they could get close enough to your ship and attack you. Holy shit. I am the Captain Null. Exactly. Holy shit. Look at me.

I'm sorry. So apparently that was something that they had in the West. Thank you. There was at least one pirate ship out there who had this genius idea to pretend it was a ghost and people fell for it. That's very smart. Totally. Super smart. Yeah.

So a lot of people now ask like like well what's the science behind like how come so many people are seeing this ghost ship and there's never any proof of it because once you get close enough to actually really see it it's gone yeah so the it's basically science has figured out it is just an optical illusion it's called a fata morgan, which is basically a mirage. Yeah. So it's the most broken down explanation I could find was just based on atmospheric conditions. Reflections are just projected seemingly miles away. So you could be seeing your own ship reflected through the waters and it's hitting clouds the right way.

So you think you're seeing another ship like a mirror or you could be seeing a ship from very very far away and the picture is just being is just showing up closer to you um based on the moisture in the air it almost like makes a wall and so you're seeing a projection of a different ship somewhere else i think it's ghosts but sure on this show it's definitely, we know what it is, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fuck mirages. So that's the story of the Flying Dutchman, but now I'm going to talk about the glow-up, which is pretty extravagant for the Flying Dutchman.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Even though it's supposedly a harbinger of death, where if you see it, you're just in bad fucking shape. Either you're going to die, someone's going's gonna die or everyone's gonna die it has a glow up because uh it's been so well documented as an urban legend all across the world that so many people know about it especially in america uh we have used it as a trope a lot of times in TV. Yeah. It's gotten its glow up in having pure notoriety. So here are the ways that we have used the Flying Dutchman in positive ways since. So the Flying Dutchman is actually, for the sailing people that are listening right now,

is a 20-foot racing dinghy that has been used in the Olympics since the 1960 games. Whoa. 20-foot racing dinghy that has been used in the Olympics since the 1960 games. And it is the Flying Dutchman is one of the fastest racing dinghies in the world. There is also paintings of the Flying Dutchman that are in the Smithsonian and the Delaware Art Museum. There is Flying Dutchman tobacco, which was one of the more popular blends for pipes and smoking a couple decades ago. But their tins are still rare collectibles. There is a 1959 comic of uncle Scrooge and Donald duck and his nephews, Huey, Dewey,

and Lily meeting the flying Dutchman. And then in 1967, there's an episode of the show Spider-Man where the flying Dutchman is actually being used. This is very relevant today. The Flying Dutchman was used in this episode of Spider-Man because it was being used to scare people by Mysterio, which is the villain in the next Spider-Man movie coming out.

Oh, okay. It all circles back. So apparently the Flying Dutchman has been the inspiration for several poems short stories adaptations novels plays video games and was the uh character in a 1930s radio drama and it has been in magazines since 1821 and mentioned in a lot of music including songs from jethro tull and my favorite jimmy buffet yeah buffet jimmy buffet i'm hungry for the buffet oh i'm also hungry for the buffet that's amazing there's also uh a an airline company called royal dutch airlines and

they have used the flying dutchman as an image that they paint on the back of all of their airplanes all right that seems irresponsible i don't think I like that. Just to let you know how speedy their flights are, I guess. And... Oh my god. That's low-hanging fruit. I'd be pissed if they hadn't done that. Right, I mean, flying. Right. I've flown it. I get it. And the Flying

Dutchman is a public school mascot in schools in Michigan and New York, and there are three different colleges, Lebanon Valley College, Hope College and Hofstra University have all been unofficially nicknamed the Flying Dutchman and their mascots have looked a little like the Flying Dutchman.

The Flying Dutchman has been incorporated in many amusement parks, including Six Flags, the Haunted Mansion and Disneyland Shanghai. And it has been featured in movies such as the 1951 movie Pandora and the Flying Dutchman starring James Mason as Captain Vanderdekken. And more notoriously, Pirates of the Caribbean in 2006. And the ship was under the command of Captain Davy Jones. It has also been featured in TV shows such as Scooby-Doo, The Simpsons,

Twilight Zone, Xena, Warrior Princess, Supernatural, and the last word of my notes, SpongeBob SquarePants. SquarePants. But also Xena. Also Xena. Fucking love Xena. Xena, Warrior Princess. Yeah, watched a lot of that growing up. We always find a way to bring it back to SpongeBob in the end.

Do you remember the Hercules-Xena crossover episodes? Yeah, of course I do. It shaped my sexuality. I was just going to say, that came at a very poignant time. Very poignant, very formative. My cousin is an actor, and he has worked a lot with, what's his name? Kevin Sorbo. Yes.

Apparently super nice guy. He's a Minnesotan. We went to school with his niece. We went to school with, yeah. Just saying. Claim to fame. Glow up. Glow up.

Glow up. All right, Christine, what do you got? Okay, so I have a story it's sort of a glow up but i feel like it went the opposite way of everyone else because it's like a fucked up glow up um love a fucked up love it well no it's a glow up for this guy but uh not for everyone else got it yeah um so this is actually the story of j Bird and the Jake Bird Hex. So I'm just gonna tell it to you. Do it.

Do it. You won't. Shut the fuck up. Em's glowing down real quick. You're dimming down. Go do it, do it, do it. Blow up, Kenyon. Oh fuck off.

God damn it, you guys. Okay, so we're going back to the 1940s. October 30th, 1947, police are called to the home of 52-year-old Bertha Clute, who lives with her 17-year-old daughter, Beverly, in Tacoma, Washington. Neighbors had been hearing screaming from inside the residence. And when police arrive, they see a man running barefoot out the back door so they take off after him. After a long

chase and a fight, they ultimately capture him covered in blood and holding an axe. Dun dun dun! Police enter the residence and find Bertha, 52, dead in her bedroom which is adjacent to the kitchen and they find the body of her daughter Beverly

who's 17 on the kitchen floor both women have been bludgeoned to death with an axe shit yeah you really are the Kenyan of your podcast she's a little bit of the downer in some ways I know but it's like well how

I mean yeah it's crime to be fair my stories I mean mine are about after the death and murder. Totally. I'm just like the sequel. I'm like the next part. And yours are all alleged stories. Alleged death and murder. And Christine's in here like, okay, so this old lady deaf died.

And then. Got hacked to death. Legend to death. Don't Google it because there are photos on the internet so i'm googling it um okay so the man so the man they captured he's taken to the tacoma city jail and he's identified as 45 year old jake bird he's a transient with a lengthy criminal record including burglaries assaults attempted murder and murder so we should have put that first, I guess,

but it's at the end of the list. Triple threat. It turns out he had actually already served 31 years in various prisons over his lifetime. Holy shit. And when they asked for his background, he explained he had been born in a small town in Louisiana, didn't remember where, left town when he was 19,

never stayed in one place for long, often finding work on the railroad, which let him move from town to town committing his various crimes. didn't remember where, left town when he was 19, never stayed in one place for long, often finding work on the railroad, which let him move from town to town committing his various crimes. Not creepy at all. No, good start. That's how he introduced himself, by the way. That was like his, like, oh, a little bit about me.

He's like, oh, nice to meet you. Where should I start? It's his Twitter bio. Yeah. Oh, God. 140 characters um he was interrogated and quickly confessed to the murders of berth and beverly he signed a confession in the presence of four police officers but he said he was just it was just a burglary gone wrong and

they were like well why were you carrying an axe right and why is it in blood and all over it yeah and he said he he found it in a nearby shed and carried it with him to, quote, bluff off anyone who tried to bother me. Good night. Good night. That's not the truth. He said he removed his shoes, snuck into Bertha's bedroom,

stole $1.50 from her purse, but when he returned to the kitchen, he found her standing right behind him. He said she grabbed him, and a fierce struggle ensued, leading to the death of both her and her daughter. And they're like well you were holding an axe the whole time i doubt this lady like grabbed you it just didn't

yeah not a fair fight you do yeah no not really for a 17 year old and a man with an axe not really not at all um on friday october 31st 1947 so the day after jake was jake bird was charged with first degree murder in bertha's death but not not Beverly's because it was customary to file only one charge. If there were multiple homicides in case they didn't convict him on that so that they could recharge him a second time with the murder of the daughter, which I was like, Oh, that's kind of a loophole.

I think maybe they changed that by now, but genius. So anyway, he pleaded not guilty this time, even though he had literally already confessed. Okay. And his trial was set for November 24th, 1947. Ten days before the trial, his attorney, whose name was J.W. Selden, I promise that's important, requested a change of venue, saying that Bird could not get a fair trial in the County because of, you know, press. And the judge was like,

Nope, you're going to have to stay here. So Selden was like, well then I don't want to be this guy's attorney. Cause we're going to lose. Oh God. Like good call on your end, I guess.

Yeah. Preemptive glow up. He was like, right. He's like, I'm out. Uh, and he told the,

and so, um, uh, bird was like, fine, then I'm going to represent myself. And they were like, oh, God, here we go. So obviously, the judge, whose name was Judge Edward D. Hodge,

was like, no, you cannot represent yourself. And so I guess that was another thing that they've changed since then. But you just weren't allowed to do it if the judge said no. Well, it's real fucking creepy. Let's look at ted bundy yeah exactly it never ends well it just never bodes well for anybody it's just it's a red flag it's a bad look yeah it's a red look um the trial began on schedule 10 days later but uh they had issues with picking the jury um so three of the original jurors had recently been jurors on another capital murder trial so there's a lot going on in this town i guess yeah geez a lot of action

i literally just got called i literally just got called for jury duty for the first time and i'm like if this is what it's gonna be like i don't know i don't know about this i also got called for jury duty recently and my mom had to to submit the number of miles times the dollar amount per miles thing, where it was like if I had to commute each day. And she was like, all right, well, it's 3,700, whatever it was. They're like, never mind. We can find someone else. it's cool never mind yeah jesus well i'm glad your mom was around to do that mine would be like you figured out

that's not enough you're fine um so let's see so oh yeah okay so the trial itself went insanely fast it lasted only one and a half days and because uh jake bird's clothes were covered in Bertha's and Beverly's blood, his fingerprints were found in the house and on the ax and his shoes were found at the crime scene. He did not stand much of a chance and he was also represent himself. So it's just bad all around for him. Um, he had also confessed,

but there was a problem with his confession. It turns out that one of the police officers had gotten so worked up seeing the bodies of the two women that when bird said he hadn't actually done it he beat him up so his attorney uh oh wait i forgot to tell you so the guy who's like oh i don't want to be your attorney anymore the judge was like no you have to be oh no so they were like oh no i forgot so so jake bird was like i want to represent myself and the lawyer was like great. I don't want to be your lawyer. And the judge was like, nope, you have to do it together. Oh, my God.

I don't know why. Teamwork, it's important. It's a group project. You just have to figure it out. It's like when your mom makes you play with your sister. Yeah, god damn it. God damn it, mom. Right, so Selden, who's still his attorney,

said Bird's confession was obtained under under duress because the guy like the police officer beat the shit out of him but the judge once again disagreed saying nope there was no relationship between the beating and his confession um and so things were just moving forward anyway uh the confession was admitted into evidence and the prosecution rested its case and after only 35 minutes of deliberation, the jury found bird guilty of first degree murder and voted to impose a death penalty. And he was sentenced to be hanged at the gallows at Washington state penitentiary on Saturday,

December 6th, 1947. Bye. Goodbye. Oh, but not goodbye. Cause there's still a glow up. You remember?

Yeah. Oh, theme. Oh, theme. Oh, at this point, Selden, the lawyer was like, I've done everything in my power to defend him and I'm not going to make any

more appeals. He said, quote, my heart does not beat in sympathy for this man who fixes his life as more important than that of others. I feel whenever any man 45 years old gets an idea that no lives are safe to anyone except his own, that man is a detriment to society and should be obliterated.

Yep. That sounds right. Kind of here for it. Hot take. Is that in the Bible? Yes. Was the gymnasium conversation in the last episode? Gymnasium.

Gymnasium. Gymnasium. You have to go listen to the wine and crime episode to understand what we're talking about. It's an inside joke. You had to do that. Inside jokes.ium. You have to go listen to the Wine and Crime episode to understand what we're talking about. It's an inside joke. Inside jokes. Yeah, you had to listen. So why don't you go join our cool squad?

At the gymnasium. So Bird was like pissed off at this point because his own lawyer's like, fuck this guy. He should be obliterated. And after his sentencing, the judge asked him if he'd like to give a final statement. So Bird addressed the court for 20 minutes. He said, the judge did not allow me to represent myself. His own lawyers were against him. Quote, I was given no chance to defend myself.

My lawyers just asked you to hang me and apologized for defending me. And as he reached the end of his 20-minute speech, he declared, quote, I'm putting the hex of Jake Bird on all of you who had anything to do with my being punished mark my words you will die before I do oh great cool everyone was like okay fuck you you're being dramatic

nice tall tale you're telling okay bye that is until people started dying great within a month of sentencing Bird to death Judge Hodge died suddenly from a heart attack. He was also like 40, so he was not old. Soon after, the police officer who had interrogated him and had beaten him up died as well. Also of a sudden heart attack.

Then another police officer who wrote the official report passed of a heart attack. Oh, my God. Then one of his prison guards died of a heart attack. Oh my god. Then one of his prison guards died of a heart attack and finally the court's clerk who had never missed a day of work in his life quickly contracted and then died of pneumonia. So that was five people within a month. Could we not?

Jesus. Where's the glow up? Everyone's like, it's his glow up, I'm telling you. He's like getting revenge. I mean, spiritually he did make like getting revenge all of a sudden got these weird powers i told you it's like i like it it's the opposite of of all the ones you did that were actually positive and affirming right i mean everyone's glow up is a little different you guys i'm sorry you i'm the only one who had to google what the fuck this word meant so leave

me alone his glove is that he successfully cursed and killed five people yeah i love it also if you're into curses like this is a success story it's working anyway you cursed he's crushing he's crushing it um so when he was finally brought to Walla Walla to await his execution, he told police he had some information they might be interested in. He explained that over the past 20 years, he had been involved in 44 other violent murders, which he had either committed or

participated in during his travels throughout the country. He said if they gave him a reprieve of his sentence, he'd be willing to elaborate on the crimes to, quote, clear his conscience. Bullshit. Oh, fuck you. My God. But everyone knew, obviously, that'd be willing to elaborate on the crimes to, quote, clear his conscience. Bullshit. Oh, fuck you. My God. But everyone knew, obviously, that it was just to delay his execution.

So over the next several days, the state did take notes on his confessions, and they compiled it into a 174-page report for the governor's office. On January 15, 1948, Byrd got his wish. He won a 60-day reprieve of his execution in exchange for clearing up some of the murders he had been a part of. The state spent the next 60 days getting all the information they could. And of the 44 confessed murders, only 11 were substantiated. Only, I say. But Bird actually had enough knowledge about the other murders that he became the prime suspect in the remaining 33 murders all across the U.S.

So many people believe he actually did commit the 46 murders that he had confessed to. Frick. And now he's like just kind of chilling while all of his jailers are dying around him. Do those murders include the five heart attacks? No, they don't actually so maybe we'll wait a minute we'll up the numbers to 51 glow up yeah told you grow up oh my god

um it's terrible bird's confessions gave police from several states the opportunity to close the books on many of their unsolved murders um it turns out he had murdered people mostly women in illinois kentucky nebraska oklahoma kansas south dakota ohio florida wisconsin michigan many of their unsolved murders. It turns out he had murdered people, mostly women, in Illinois, Kentucky, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Kansas, South Dakota, Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, Michigan, Iowa, and Washington. Oh, my God. And just those? Just those. Well, it's fine to murder people in Wisconsin,

but the rest of them are egregious. That wasn't me. That wasn't my voice. To all the one people in Wisconsin listening to us, please refer your emails to Wine and Crime. Yes, please. Specifically Kenyan. Specifically Kenyan.

You can find her at the Cape of Good Hope. Yeah, exactly. You'll find her on the Flying Dutchman. She's been promoted. Standing, weeping, gazing out upon the ocean, looking for the Flying Dutchutchman uh well all this was going on oh no and so also he typically murdered people with either an axe or a hatchet so his mo was pretty much the same as beverly and oh great yeah snake assistant really terrible so

while all this is going on bird took advantage of the extra time he was given and attempted to appeal his conviction he was finally able to personally argue his case before Supreme Court justices and demanded a retrial, but they were like, no, you literally just told us you murdered 46 people. We're not going to let you off. Right. Yeah, we could. Thanks.

So one year, almost exactly a year after Bird was first sentenced to death, he was sentenced to death again, this time July 14th, 1949. And on that night, he ate his last meal on death row. I could not find what his last meal was, but I imagine it was, like, I don't know, something terrible like tea and graham crackers.

I don't know. Oh, God. I keep inching closer to the microphone trying to figure out, like, something witty to say, and then I keep blacking out, so I don't remember. I'm going to agree with your shitty tea. It was light mac and cheese. It was diet macaroni and cheese.

Diet mac and cheese, some cantaloupe, and some tea. Oh. Moldy, moldy cantaloupe. Moldy cantaloupe. And the diet Pepsi. So he ate his last meal. He was then escorted 10 feet from his cell to the gallows, a room of 125 witnesses had gathered.

He was hanged at 1220 a.m. on July 15th, 1949 and was buried in an unmarked grave in the prison cemetery. And by this point, most people had already forgotten about Bird's Hex because it had been about a year. But on the one year anniversary of Bird's hanging to the day, Jake Bird's former attorney

J.W. Selden, the man who had resigned from and regretted defending him, died suddenly of a heart attack. Shut up! What the fuck? So that was his sixth victim, if you want to call it a victim. I do. You do. I do. And do. And we will.

And while you can definitely argue that they're all coincidences, you can't deny how absolutely creepy it is, especially because every time somebody would die associated with him, he would act not surprised at all, and then he uh respond with a misquoted bible verse uh gymnasium 316 that he knew they were gonna die because it was his curse and that his curse was actually divine justice um and as it stands today the bird hex as it's called is still a mystery as for bird himself if his victim count is accurate that would make him not only one of the most prolific serial

killers of the time but also the first recorded black serial killer in america interestingly enough okay all right get it get it glow up glow up i like this guy of course do. You're a terrible person. And while it can be argued by me that Jake Bird's hex was the real deal, it's interesting to note that the prosecutor who had Bird convicted, Pierce County Attorney Patrick Steele, seemingly lived out the rest of his life with no concern. And I found out an article from that same year when they interviewed him

regarding the curse. He laughed it off and said, Nothing to it. I never felt better in my life and that is the story of the jacob wow and i'm so sorry you rushed the hell through that it's fine we get it we've been recording for hours we understand yeah hashtag glow up but uh that's, I've heard that, I think you did that at a live show before, but I can't remember. It was Washington. Washington. Seattle.

It sounded familiar, but it still blows my mind that he just, I don't know what kind of dark magic he's got going on. Jake Burr has. He did it. You know what? That is a glow up in my book. At least he was doing something others weren't. Thank you. I love it. In a bad way. In a fucked up way. In a terrible way. We don't condone it. You know what? That is a glow up in my book. At least he was doing something others weren't. Thank you. I love it. In a bad way. In a fucked up way. In a terrible way. We don't condone it.

I don't want to applaud it, but I am like I'm going to look a little bit from the corner of my eye. We're going to watch. Totally. I personally love it and thank you so much. Thank you. Sorry we ended on such a fucking dark note.

You guys are all like, yeah, come up stories, like glow up stories and then I'm like and then everyone died but it's okay. But it's okay because that's still a success in someone's book. But this murderer blew up so it's fine, right? I blewed right up. I ranted for like 15 minutes

about domestic violence in our episode so it's fine. At least you're used to it. I'm just like, now everyone feels sad and hopeless. I do. I feel rejuvenated. I feel like I just took a nap. Oh, good.

You're welcome. Well, thank you guys so much for having us on your show, and thank you for coming on our show. Yeah, we're so glad. We love you. Vice versa. We had a blast hanging out with you guys when we were in Minnesota for our live show a couple weeks ago.

Minnesota misses you. I don't know. I'm working on it. Close enough. I had a blast. Amanda and I had a little date. It was very romantic. We did. It was amazing. We also bought some really creepy stuff from a thrift store. Do you actually still have that? Yeah, they're in my room. I made Blaze take them're in my room. Yep, so Christine kept them.

I made Blaze take them home in his suitcase. I got Christine three very creepy, probably definitely haunted bears, and I thought we would use them for the show, and then we would leave them in our hotel rooms for other people to discover under their bed or something. Oh, no, no, gotta keep them. Okay. And then Christine got attached,

so now they came back with us. Well, I don't understand. You think we can just throw away haunted things and they're not gonna come back to hurt us? Christine is their mother now. Haven't you seen The Conjuring? Haven't you? Yeah, I am. Haven't you heard of the Shannon, for fuck's sake? I was gonna say, I'm gonna probably find one on the road today

and end up taking it home with me. Right, right. A dead bear in the middle of the highway. If your belly button begins to bleed profusely. Stop it. Do not use your fucking belly button. If my belly button makes a sound or even feels like anything is nearby it, I'm going to lose my mind today.

I'm going to truly have an actual melt. Hold on to your belly buttons, folks. It does feel a little itchy right now, though, doesn't it? Keep your belly button tight. Do you feel itchy at all? I feel like there are ants in there now. There are ants in it. Anyway.

No, those are spiders. Oh, God. On that wonderful note, everyone stay away from spiders and ants and keep your belly buttons closed. But don't stay away from wine and crying. But don't stay away from wine and crying. Correct. Love it.

Thank you guys for this lovely chat. We love you. We love you. Check out their show. And that's why we drink and and that's what oh yeah oh yeah let's all say and that's why you drink oh yeah one two three and that's why we drink that was good kenya's always delayed always delayed that was very natural it sounds like we practiced for years i fucking love it