And That's Why We Drink - E147 Catsgiving and a Sleeping Tuxedo

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

Pass the cranberry sauce, it's turkey time!! Or pre-that time anyway and we're sending you all the best whatever your plans may be! We've got some doozies for you this week to help with all your travel and/or cozying in needs: Em tackles the extremely GooseCamTM activating Twitter thread from @gr3gory88 of his inherited cabin in the woods. Christine then brings us the wildly compelling and tragic story of the Lindbergh Kidnapping. We'd also like to recommend that you sage any wine you may find in the secret cellar downstairs... and that's why we drink!Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Go to THIRDLOVE.com/DRINK now to find your perfect-fitting bra… and get 15% off your first purchase!Try a better way to get birth control with Simple Health by going to simplehealth.com/DRINK or just enter codeDRINK at checkout!Save your time and memories - go to Legacybox.com/DRINK and save 40%!Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare and get two months free when you sign up atSkillshare.com/DRINK2

hello fresh we're here for episode 147 yes 147 and two will have 149 and you know oh and you know what uh i think this is the episode right before Thanksgiving pass the cranberry sauce we're having mashed

potatoes ooh the turkey looks great thank you for loving me thank you for being there

everyone's thanking the whole world thanking you for thanking us for thanking you kill the turkey happy Thanksgiving guys

alright that's the end of our show we'll see you next week goodbye buy a casper mattress or something uh no uh we are very excited for thanksgiving um i it feels kind of far away because we're recording this in advance but i do have my christine's special sweaters out the thrift store sweater season is here guys thrift store holiday sweater don't have to wear a bra on this one oh it's always a good sweater um and it's uh all sorts of patterns if you're on youtube you can see it it's i got a thrift store um and i wear it every day of the fall and winter so it's true i i the second i i came in today and you were wearing it i was like wow this brings me back a whole year i met with my friend this morning and she like i have not seen

her in probably a year she's like oh you're wearing your favorite sweater. I was like, Oh my god, I clearly never take it off. So you're gonna be seeing a lot of this if you're on our YouTube. I'm actually doing a throwback today wearing my Price is Right hat. I do love that I meant to point that out. For those of you who don't know the Price is Right is the first show I worked on when I moved to LA. Precious. um i was an intern i would my job was to spin the wheel and make sure that it was spinning right oh i was like on tv and i was like wait no that's the contestants backstage oh my that was it i actually don't know if that was my job that was what they just told me to do to keep me busy just keep spinning the wheel someone

just told me zach baggins was on wheel of fortune yes they are different shows what did you say price is right oh sorry you said spin the wheel and i was like wait a second yeah that's no the van away right okay sorry my bad um uh however jesse pinkman was on uh prices uh prices right and he won he beat the system oh that's nice the actor i say whatever his name remember the time my mom dragged us to Let's Make a Deal? Do I? Mm-hmm. I was half naked because I thought I was supposed to dress in costume. Yeah, my mom made a lot of requests that morning before she met you.

Anyway. Nice to meet you, Linda. Hello. Welcome to our Thanksgiving episode, I guess. So special. I'm so thankful. Or pre-Thanksgiving, I guess we should say. That's true.

We're still thin by the end of the week. I can't promise anything. This is what this big sweater's for. Mm- out um also you guys are probably gearing up to go see family and friends that we want to wish you luck because i know it can be hard to reconnect with people that you don't see very often and sometimes tensions can rise and trust me we all understand so if you're anything like me and you're from a any version of a broken home broken home maybe you have found an extended family to run away to every thanksgiving which is what i do i don't know if you're new here but if you are i go to seattle every every thanksgiving because it's just so much easier than only going

home for a short amount of time and having to fit in like three different families yeah i made that mistake this year i've been in la every year year for Thanksgiving since I moved here until this year. I've just finally been like, oh, come on, see my mom. And then all of a sudden everyone's like, well, this cousin, like, don't you want to see me too? And don't you want to see this cousin? And they haven't seen you in two years. It's kind of like a compliment and that so many people want to see you.

But also it's the exact opposite of the definition of relaxing. And it's not like an enjoyable, like complimentary experience when you actually have it. You're just scheduling and trying to cram in all this time with people. I mean, I'm making holidays sound really awful right now.

I know. But we're big complainers. I mean, hello. But also I want to say too, like I know a lot of people don't have family to visit and it's hard and it's lonely sometimes.

I hope everyone's at least having a wonderful Friendsgiving. Yeah, that's what I've been doing over the past few years and that's always really fun too. Or if you just want to stay home with your like your cat i mean have a cat's giving that might be even actually maybe i'll cancel my plans and just do that probably be you're the most grateful i'd imagine yeah so anyway happy thanksgiving to everybody

who celebrates it um hope you can find some happiness at least uh a diversion in this episode um from everything else if you will um i uh i know we just probably just yelled this at you but a reminder patrons get early access on cyber monday if you skip forward through that uh patrons get early access to tickets um and we'll give you that code second that's right cyber monday so patreon.com slash atwwd podcast and we're giving you a secret code that we invented we did invent it we're gonna probably not surprising once you hear it you're gonna hear the new name of the tour we're getting very excited yes there's some concept art being thrown around we do this is like the real deal we feel really we're trying

really hard to make this like yeah the first one not that our first one wasn't like very important to us special and awesome but like we figured out a lot of things that we want to do differently we had a running list like even add this one list we should do this next time and not that or vice versa we're trying to make this like our second try and then 2021 tour hopefully it's just going to be like perfect because we've all the all the kinks will be out oh my god it'll be just your i don't even know how you're going to handle it you're gonna have your mind blown i tell you what um so yeah so keep an eye out for that and also on our social media we'll post like when the when the pre-sale regular pre-sale goes up and then just like when general admission regular tickets go up so keep an eye out for that secret code um and for tour dates we obviously haven't said the

cities yet so hopefully we're coming near you we're going to some repeats and some new places so yes we'll find out yep yep um i brought my list okay okay your list of my list tm of grievances oh yeah i have oh that's i know you've got one of those that's not a weird question that's too long to fit into my my computer doesn't hold that much storage um no my uh my list my top 10 wow it took you months and months but let's hear it here's the thing the last three episodes we've had so much to talk about that i'm like we don't need this in the beginning people are already mad that we've talked we've talked so much so i've been refining it back in like september i came up with a list of my at the moment top 10 uh celebrity crushes although it had the last four of them kind of interchange right in importance

and also there's others that i didn't list that also end up on there today my uh one of my crushes is melissa mccarthy oh fun very different than like my usual list and that like i like someone who can like give a good smolder i don't know if melissa mccarthy gives a good smolder she probably could though but she's got like the there's something about the domineering personality i'm really into oh yeah and this yeah i feel like a domineering and a smolder is like goes hand in hand and she can rock a good red lipstick which was one of my things that i need that is a big plus anyway and funny funny people i'm always attracted to funny people it's like yeah it's like just one of those things today mine are harbury Larson and Laverne Cox.

So, OK, all right. Just to give you an update on my top three instead of giving you my top 10. Well, I didn't realize this was about year list. So I guess. Let's hear it. What's Christine's list? I suppose. Sorry, I'm just steamrolling you.

Yeah. Well, what else is new? Sorry, Empire, if I offended you. OK, so I feel like really nervous about sharing this. And, you know, i think you kind of should because no well because i'm very open about like who i have crushes on i never hear you talk about this because i'm like so weird about it i don't know people you have crushes on but then the second night ever like kind of poke fun at you you get like actually offended it's very weird

i know because like i have problems where i get like really and i don't know it's so bad i'm sorry i'm such a dork i'm ready to make fun of you on camera such a sheltered like catholic german child full of guilt can i can i guess people or will yes actually yeah i guess i mean i don't know how many you'll guess but well i know too that you really like that i don't understand who anthony well yeah he's on here okay this is one of the things that's going to be revealed about me. Oh, can I say it? Yeah. Christine only, I mean, blaze aside. Not only, but like heavily.

Christine can't help herself. It's bad. Even before she knows this information about someone. When they're not even out. Yeah, she's only pretty much ever falls for gay men. And it's not like a joke, like, ha ha. It's truly through my two uh playground husbands and then my first boyfriend in elementary school all three are gay

and i went to like private catholic school like that was not a thing that was allowed it's like if gaydar were a thing yeah christine has it and it's if she's in love with someone just they're probably it's actually a thing that i've learned i went to american university which is um i think considered the most lgbt friendly campus in the country or some shit i don't know and i remember like my first week there i was just like wow everyone's so all the guys are so hot and then i was like oh wait four percent of the male population here is straight so i'm in trouble um so i dated someone at georgetown instead but but But there's just this instant, like, if I really attract to someone, I'm just like, oh, well, yeah, they're probably gay. They're probably gay.

It's just statistically remarkable. There's a list somewhere that's very long that Renee made for me, like, back in high school because she was like, this is troubling. Like, your celebrity crushes. That's why Renee sticks with Streck because he's the straightest man alive grotesque um so anthony's on there okay i just think he's like the probably the most attractive human i have a straight person that you like who in my mind neve fuck i forgot about neve yeah i do have a crush on neve but then he got kind of weird like i think he did some shady shit so So, but I did have, you're right. I had a crush on Neve from Catfish. I remember just being like, you just like gay and or hairy men.

Yeah. I don't get it. I mean, obviously I don't get it. I mean, obviously. So I'll just give you the rest of the people on here that are gay. Anderson Cooper. My first crush ever. And when I say first crush, like celebrity crush, I mean like the first, first person

where I was like so smitten that I like didn't think I could live without, you know what I mean like the first person where I was like so smitten that I like didn't think I could live without. You know what I mean? Like you like fall in love with a celebrity or actor or whatever. And you're like, I'm just so. So like Renee's was normal. It was like Justin Timberlake. Mine was Jonathan Rhys-Myers because he was in that Bend It Like Beckham. This is so.

I thought you were going to say Jonathan Taylor Thomas. That would have made sense. No, I'm not even a little bit attracted. because he's straight and hairless yeah and blonde listen so jonathan reese myers like just oh and then one time i renee sent me a picture he's like here's another one and it was like out magazine and he was on the cover and i was like motherfucker um so let's see the other ones i i don't think are. I don't think are gay. Who knows? Um, the first one's Jon Hamm. He's like, that's probably the straightest person I have a crush on.

Okay. I think he's just very attractive. Woof. Okay. Jon Hamm. Um, Shamar Moore from Criminal Minds. Okay. Um, you know, those eyes. Okay.

God. Puppy dog eyes. Um, I do think Sam Hunt is really hot. The guy that talks slash raps? Does he? Oh, Blaze hates that song and I love it. And when I worked at ISS, everyone would be like, the talk rapper. The talk country.

Are you singing or rapping? No one knows. No, he just talks. But I love it. I just think he's so... He doesn't sing. He talks with rhythm. But look at him with a white t-shirt and you'll understand.

I will. You're right. Now, this is an interesting one. Natalie Dormer. Interesting. Oh, Game of Thrones. I watched that and I went, oh, dear. She's beautiful.

I've fallen. She is beautiful. I've fallen. Then Mark Ruffalo. Interesting. I have my Hulk shorts on. Are they doing anything for you? Oh, there it is.

By the way, my Hulk shorts are literally just purple shorts. Is that what that is? Okay. I was like, I didn't get the reference but sure he wears purple shorts got it um mark ruffalo uh cara de la veen i don't even know how to say her name cara de la cara de la veen rj's in love with her so i hear about her my stomach like turns the eyebrows okay andre holland is a new one i've been watching castle rock uh he was in moonlight he is just so attractive what the hell yeah it's like overwhelming to me you know i appreciate that you're throwing uh women on your list too because everyone everyone's a little interested i think well i am and it's kind of one of those things that i've never really thought about but i was like oh who who are like

my crushes and i like listed out several women and i that I've never really thought about, but I was like, oh, who are, like, my crushes? And I, like, listed out several women, and I was like, I never, like, thought. I don't know. I don't ever, like. I think that's me with Paul Rudd, to be fair. Like, I get. Sure. I also get butterflies when Paul Rudd shows up. Well, Paul Rudd is across the board.

I think regardless of who you are, everyone's got a crush on Paul Rudd. But I just, there are, like, a couple women where I'm like, oh, like, I mean, I don't know. I had a crush on my TA in college, and she was a lady. I don't know lady i don't listen i'm just saying i don't know i'm not putting myself in any boxes listen does this look like the show we put ourselves everyone just is like oh christine okay whatever it doesn't matter um let's keep going um if there were like an orientation where you just really are attracted to gay people that will never like you back but also like a sprinkling of women but also maybe i'm lean that way a little bit too also i'm i'm straight but natalie dormer but also gay men right natalie i mean she might be like a

like okay doesn't matter i'm not gonna go there but jesus she's so okay i can't sit here and pretend like if chris evans like made a move i would go right i would go stop you know i'd be like okay whatever let's test this out and then obviously emma watson well hello which obviously i think was on both of our lists which is interesting because when i made this list i was like oh it's just gonna be 10 dudes right it did it's pretty split evenly i was very surprised um and then of course then jonathan reese myers anderson cooper anthony um but like as for straight men john hamshamar moore uh andre holland and sam hunt so four out of ten and mark ruffalo five out of ten okay actually there were 11 because you did 11 so sure um so 50 success rate there were more females than i expected on there and i was like are you

learning something about yourself i think maybe we're all learning something about me together i don't want to like make any broad stroke statements but i really looked at this list for the last four weeks every time i kind of updated and i was like nothing's changed so i don't know okay anyway let's just go on to the show i appreciate that you're open-minded too oh absolutely maybe a lifestyle change if you and blaze don't work out i mean honestly i'm like i've never outright said anything otherwise have you ever outright felt anything otherwise well yeah people have assumed no people assume like oh well you're just married to a dude so that's gotcha you know what i mean i feel like yeah which is a fair assessment we've all questioned but all i'm saying is um maybe there's you know i think there's a spectrum maybe maybe there's a new chapter in christine's life that we haven't

opened yet i haven't listen listen i'm just i'm exploring a little bit let's put it that way apparently and you you picked the right time as a married person yeah i did didn't i um yeah but i mean i think natalie dormer is like up above on the top out of all the the ladies but um andre holland is getting up there with john ham natalie dormer i want to look at a better picture of her okay christine's breath is being taken away in front of my eyes like i watched game of thrones with with her in it and i went like i've everything i thought about myself has just been like upended i mean she mean, she's got the jawline. She's got the smolder.

I can agree. Look at the ones where she doesn't have a shirt on. Christine. No, she takes her top off. Are you coming out of the closet? I'm really confused. Guys, I think. I just always assumed like, oh, well, I'm attracted to like a lot of people.

I didn't know that. Like, that was like I had to, to you know make a statement about it i mean like look at now we'll talk about this later okay we'll talk about later well i did tell you i was nervous about this so okay well you know what i didn't know it was gonna be i was more nervous about anderson cooper but i guess i mean yeah she's a very naked and very beautiful woman despite her nudity but it okay moving on okay in that in that breaking news i think god blazes all about christine's sexuality yeah yeah yeah well so we'll see we'll see where things go natalie dormer are you listening oh my don't even start with that i think she's like actually a real very much much a crush of mine. All right. Good to know. Clearly, I guess. I guess we've all learned that by now. You know who I had a, and this is a dude that

I'm pretty sure I had a legitimate crush on when I was younger. Um, which by the way, is not like a regular thing in my life. Right. I've never heard you say those words. So this is interesting. No, I really liked tom welling from smallville yeah you know what a lot of my i thought he was just a beautiful man i was never into him which is weird because i usually am very into like very i'm a sucker men i'm a sucker for light eyes and dark hair also women but apparently apparently also boobs i guess he's my natalie dormer where it's like i don't think i would say no if there was that option oh i don't have anything well okay let's change the subject i'm sorry we changed

the subject okay this one i don't know how to i don't know how to so sweaty okay you realize literally everyone will be very happy to hear that information by the way the christine or whatever we're calling it now everyone thinks that they definitely have a chance with you the christine chapel but now i'm not allowed in because like this isn't okay and this isn't godly for sure godly it's not catholic chapel's gonna listen i grew up in like the most insane catholic school where i never thought gay people were a thing i mean i not that i didn't think that but i was like oh no one in my class is gay and then after everyone graduated all of a sudden all these people were gay and i was like oh wait you just weren't allowed to say it like i was so fucking sheltered that was for me too i was like there

was literally not a single gay person at my school and then when i got to college i like found everyone on facebook and i was like why are where are the straight people wait a minute why are they holding hands is everybody a gay person now yeah so i i think that i got a little mixed my wires were all sorts of all over the place growing up, and I think I just never think about it. Like you said, I never talk about it. So I think I finally had— Even about men, to be fair. No, I don't.

You never talk about it. I had some weeks to really think about it. Gotcha. Anyway, I'm sorry. To ruminate. Ruminate. Okay, let's— Everyone's queer.

Oh, my God. A little bit, even if it's 0.1%. That gay ghost that's after you is going to smack you. If you don't think you are, go look at Natalie Dormer and or Tom Welling and see if your mind's been changed. Report back. Maybe not. Maybe it's just us. I don't know. Okay, so here's the thing. What? I'm going to tell you my story.

Okay, you said here's the thing and then I saw you open Twitter and I got nervous. I am opening Twitter. I thought you live streamed this. Can you imagine? No! Okay, so I am on Twitter because my story today is on Twitter. What do you mean by that, says Christine? Uh, is it, I mean, you did Dear David.

I did Dear David. This is very much like Dear David. What? Okay, I'm excited. So. Because Dear David is one of my favorites. This was requested by not anyone on twitter this was a family member i think this was my cousin this it's been in the in my phone for a long time

and i screenshotted it and then i was like okay maybe one day and then i got back to it and i agree this is worth telling so um this is the greg thread which i don't know who meant how many people have heard about this apparently you, you mean Craigslist. That's exactly it. No. I've never heard of such a thing in my life. I'm sorry. Craigslist, if you will.

Craigslist. Craigslist of tweets. Oh, wait, that's way better. That's way cleverer. Take mine back. So this is kind of long. So I'm going to, it's just like Dear David and that's a series of tweets. Also, Dear David was really long. But Dear David had a, I used a Bustle article that had kind of compressed all the important parts of the story. So it was kind of easier to read.

Nobody has done this yet that I know of for the Greg thread. So it's literally I had to go into Greg's Twitter. The handle is GR3GORY88r-y-8-8 so gregory88 oh leet yeah remember leet no leet it was like that language well i was for real i had no friends in high school um but it was that language where you write with numbers like i didn't know it was ever called anything i just thought that was what called cool people did one three three seven oh know it was ever called anything. I just thought that was what cool people did. It was called 1337. Oh. And it was called Leet.

I never knew it had a name. Yeah. And I want to go tell people about that, but everyone would be like, well, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, maybe I just know that. I don't know. That's super cool. No, I always just called it, oh, and people write with numbers.

It drove me crazy because my brother would be like, I'm writing it in Leet. And I was like, stop. Why? It's a high school essay. The original leet was writing boobs on a calculator thank you uh so a bunch of people who are like gen z-ers are like what's what are you talking about that's a calculator they're also like what are boobs so suck it uh so children gregory uh or the greg thread is very creepy halfway through i kind of got the sense that it might be fiction um it's for you to determine but it is super scary i was reading it in the middle of the night and i like needed to put music on because the it's kind of that

kind of scary so i like when m gets scared so I am going to kind of read this kind of quickly. I mean, it's long. Like, it's not like I'm going to blaze through it, but there are a lot of tweets to get through. So I'm going to kind of read it as if it's one big chapter of a book or something. Sure. Just because there's a lot to cover. The story starts October 29th and ends January of this year. So there's three or four months worth of tweets.

Wait, October 29th of? Of 2018. Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, wow. Okay. It's like a year old now. Yeah.

So there's like four months worth of tweets and they were pretty long. So I feel like this is kind of cheating in a weird way because I feel like I didn't do any notes. I'm just reading something verbatim. Somebody put something about murder on Twitter and I'll just read it. Okay. Well, don't because that probably ends badly. It must like you go to jail afterwards.

Yeah, don't do that. But so I am going to read this. This kind of seems to me like it's as if Dear David and Creepypasta had a baby. Oh, dear God. Well, what? So I and then I also don't know. I do want to I should ask you like off camera. But do you know if we're allowed to post pictures from this?

Like if he posts a picture, can we put it up? Probably not unless we get his permission. OK, so I mean, I guess maybe we could put it up and put the Twitter handle. Let's just put the Twitter handle right here. Yeah, and then you can go find it and watch the videos. And if there is something that comes up i'll describe it sure i just don't want to yeah i go against you know maybe we'll put them up but to be safe at the very least we'll put the uh we'll put the the and then in the show notes

we can also put it for those listening via audio cool yeah ear holes um so i'm just gonna get started um october 29th 2018 i do appreciate that just so we're clear if you feel like you have to go all the way back through his twitter um to like january to start reading the tweets you don't have to because uh this seems to be its own book like once this greg thread happened no more tweets have happened since so and then before there's only like four or five random tweets um like i had like spaghetti like i ate eggs or something yeah okay and so it's it's interesting because if this is fiction it was kind of clever of him to kind of do some like random tweets at first to make it look like a more authentic twitter totally although in hindsight um i'll

get back to it but it seems like some of these actually now make sense after reading the greg thread where they were almost foreshadowing things in the story oh okay tell me tell me tell me tell me all right so i'm just going to start with the story and then i'll tell the what some of the initial tweets were great so the first one that kind of begins it all is october 29th 2018. There's a picture of, I imagine Greg took this, of a log with a little worm on it. I did see the little slug out of the corner of my eye. And it says, made a new friend. That seems like a Christine tweet if I ever saw one.

And the slug becomes a demon. No, I'm kidding. Oh, remember when I saved that fruit fly and you would never have forgiven me? I don't think the internet's forgiven you. People still talk about that. People were appreciative of my humanitarian effort. Thank you very much. So there's essentially, it's a picture of him in the woods is what matters.

Great. Greg then tweets out, something weird is happening in the woods outside my house, and I don't know what to do. And I'm going to keep talking just so everyone's in the clear. There are going to be several tweets, but I'm going to read them as if they're a paragraph. So I'm not letting them be broken up. I'm just trying to read. You're like thread one out of two. Right. All right. So as I'm reading, don't assume it's all one tweet. It's all together. Something weird is happening in the woods outside my house, and I don't know what to do. I guess I should start at the beginning. This isn't really my

house. It was my grandpa's, but I guess it's mine now he died a couple months ago and because of some tricky paperwork i am apparently responsible for it now oh great uh he lived pretty far away up in the mountains by the lake there are a couple other houses down in down the road but they seem like they're empty for their season they're empty for the season i assume they're summer houses i've been here for a few days but it's really it's really pretty but it's super quiet and chilly and then uh there's just pictures of like the lake and the woods, just to show you like what it kind of looks like. I'm so scared of the woods. Just very empty woods.

Oh, I'm so scared. My mom never talked about my grandpa and I only met him once when I was really young. I think they had a bad relationship, but the few times I asked about it, she got annoyed and changed the subject. So basically, I don't really know what I'm doing here. This guy from my grandpa's estate basically told me the house is mine now so i came up here to sell it as fast as i can and go home i guess it's not that easy to just sell a house especially one in the middle of nowhere at any rate i think i'm alone up here or at least i was

i figured i'd be up here for a couple weeks to get all this handled and then i'd go home and be done with it on a break from grads i'm on a break from grad school so I don't have any other responsibilities at the moment but now weird things are starting to happen it started on my third day here there's a little town about 25 minutes away that I've gone to to get some food and supplies since I don't know how long I'm staying uh when I got back that evening there was something strange on my door and Christine can you describe oh my god it looks blair witchy it is like i can tell you uh so greg says it was this artifact i don't know what to call it it was obviously handmade it was made of sticks and twine and had some small bones tied in the middle of it so it's like a triangle of uh like these kind of broken sticks uh tied

together with twine and then in the middle there's also a string of twine with little bones wrapped into the twine and it looks like a triangle looks like something from the Blair Witch it literally looks like Blair Witch stuff yeah I didn't think too much of it at the time oh what okay okay just so we're clear this story is gonna have a lot of those moments where you're like why are you still here I guess you know you if you're in that scenario you're like well what else am I going to do? Right, right. Except tweet about it.

I didn't think too much of it at the time. I figured it was probably a kid from one of the other houses trying to mess with me, so I took it off the door and tossed it in the fireplace. Excuse me? By the next morning, I'd pretty much forgotten about it, and honestly, I had too much on my plate at the moment to worry about some kid's prank, so I got up that morning, made some some breakfast and went out on the deck with some coffee i was sitting there drinking my coffee when i noticed something hanging in the tree

just over the railing it was another one of those artifacts good night christine exact same thing oh my god the same thing but now it's hanging in a tree and it looks it's like different obviously but it's the same idea it was just like the last one but it had a rock tied to it instead of that what that is oh well that's an upgrade i guess or a downgrade um i suppose and then immediately i saw another one in a tree farther down by the ground i went down the deck steps to retrieve it and then i started seeing even more of them i found about eight in total hanging in trees all around the house. Holy crap. There's just a bunch of them.

There are ones with a feather. One had a bird feather just tied into it. They all had different objects tied to them. Bones, feathers, that sort of thing. It was definitely weird,

but I was more annoyed than anything thinking that someone in my yard decorated the tree with ugly goth Christmas ornaments. Those are some fighting words, Greg. To be fair, be fair i was like oh this looks like something like my

weird friends and i would have made in high school like oh look how spooky we are also if someone was trying to scare me it was going to take more than some bullshit art and crafts project to do the trick i gathered all the artifacts together and burned them like the first one this is not a good idea after i disposed of all the sticks i took a shower got dressed and went back outside to do some basic tidying and whatnot that was when i found something that actually did make me nervous oh what is it i was raking a corner of the yard when i saw something dark on the ground off in the trees i couldn't tell what it was from afar so i went to investigate i don't even want to look at first i thought it was a blanket but when i got

closer it was a big sweatshirt or hoodie. I didn't want to touch it, but it was obviously clothing of some kind. It looks like a blue hoodie. Literally a navy blue hoodie. That doesn't look as scary. I looked around and realized it was a whole encampment. There were a couple old socks, a pair of what I think was underwear, a few old napkins scattered around, a plastic spoon, and creepiest of all, a beat up notebook. Goodbye. a few old napkins scattered around a plastic spoon and creepiest of all a beat-up notebook goodbye i flipped open the notebook but nothing was written inside a whole bunch of pages had

been ripped out of it so i know someone had been using it plus you could sort of see the shadow of pen marks on the most recent page i couldn't make out what it was written why are you still there anyway that definitely freaked me out it was clear someone was camping out on my property and possibly trying to scare me out of the house. I wasn't really sure what to do about it. What could I do? I definitely didn't sleep all that night. Why would you be in this house?

It's all bad. That was the day before yesterday. The next morning, I sort of expected more weird artifacts to be outside, but I didn't see anything, and the encampment was gone, so I figured it was probably a homeless person passing through. to be outside but i didn't see anything and the encampment was gone so i figured it was probably a homeless person passing through the driveway ends away up from the house and then you have to trek down a path which bends around the side of the house to get in i was walking around the house when i saw some movement across the yard near a tree and i froze dead in my tracks yes i thought that was the end and i turned my attention back to the house i realized the house was almost no i realized the house had almost no cleaning products.

And I went to go pick some supplies up. And then I came home. The driveway ends a ways at my house. And then you, oh, sorry, it was a repeat. The driveway ends a ways at my house. And then I saw something near the tree and I froze dead in my tracks. Someone was standing under my tree, under the tree, staring at my house. Well, I like the version better where you said i

saw some movement anyway then i just moved on and then i went to go buy windex yeah yeah i was like what happened okay but so no i froze that in my tracks because this house had no cleaning products and i was not about to i was like listen forget the swiffer there's something way worse going on here someone was standing under a tree staring at my house they didn't see me though since i was also partly behind some trees and a good distance away. Whoever it was, they were wearing the same dark hoodie I'd seen in the grass the day before. The fact that they didn't know he could see them. Oh, spooky.

No, there's a picture. What is it? Oh my God. Oh my God. No, Em, that can't be real. Stop. Someone's standing with... It looks like a druid, like a hooded figure, and you can see the silhouette of their face.

It's not dark out. It's like twilight almost. It was terrifying, I would say. It was literally just... It looked like a Dementor, kind of. It did. It looked like druid. They had a cloak on or something, but if you look, it's like's like a hoodie yeah it's almost scary that it's a hoodie because it's

just like because you can't see the face well and it's also like a regular it's not like they're wearing a big cloak to like scare you it's like they're just wearing a normal outfit also it's scary that they're not doing anything except standing there and just staring at the house that's the worst part to me because they could be doing something so much creepier if they wanted to um i stood there sorry go ahead no i was saying they have this notebook which who knows what the That's the worst part to me because they could be doing something so much creepier if they wanted to. I stood there. Sorry. Go ahead.

No, I was saying they have this notebook, which who knows what the hell they're staring and writing about. Oh. As quietly as I could, I sat down my shopping bags next to me and slipped my phone out. I managed to take a couple pictures, but the person turned and disappeared into the woods. I stood there for a couple minutes, too nervous to move in case the person came back, but they didn't. So I picked up my bags and hurried inside. I picked up the phone to call the cops, but put it back down because I didn't even know what I'd tell them. There was a man on my property staring at the house, and I found out that he's camping out next to my house. Well, Gregory said, someone was looking at my house like any police officer would take me seriously.

Well, you gotta try. A druid was looking at my house. And like an idiot i destroyed all the weird artifacts from before so they wouldn't even be there wouldn't even be any evidence i felt like there was nothing i could do i was mad at myself and feeling scared all alone in the house so i locked all the doors and left out the back i went down to the lake because i didn't know what else to do not that's the worst to go leave the go deeper into the woods i locked all the doors then left the house and then left the walked home yeah right i walked a ways down the lake shore then sat for a while looking at the

water i thought about getting in my car and just going home but i felt like that would get me in trouble there's all sorts of property tax stuff i don't understand and i feel trapped also i couldn't decide if i was actually in danger when my grandpa died it took me a couple months to actually get up to the house so maybe someone was just squatting in there and now that i'm there they might leave their on their own accord or maybe they were like staring at the house thinking like oh should i left something in there i wonder like if they were like squatting there could be a legitimate reason all my windex is in there i need to get it out the the parts of my notebook that i wrote on oh yeah all my pages it was starting to get dark so i reluctantly headed

back to the house i walked up the stairs leading to the back of the house, but right before going inside, I got this weird chill. I made up my mind that I absolutely did not want to stay in that house overnight. Thank you. I decided to go into my car and drive into town and find a motel for the night. The house was all locked up, and I already had my keys, so I went back around the house and led to the driveway. And that's when I saw her. Huh? Her? Who? The figure from before standing right in the middle of my front lawn staring straight at my house.

I froze in place completely in shock. I was practically next to her, but it was almost as if she didn't see me. Wait, so, okay, so it's the same night. Finally, he decides, you know what, I'm heading out. I'm going to town. And he gets back to the car and he's like, oh, she's back but closer. On the property now now not hiding in the woods so this is where it becomes a little creepypasta um so this is where my my believability

goes down but it's still a very very very good story so far so the figure standing in the yard then it hit me she hadn't seen me because she couldn't see me because she had no eyes ah sorry what had no eyes just skin over where her eyes should be okay i wanted to run but i felt like if i moved even a little she would hear me yep as quietly as i could i went for my phone i needed some sort of evidence to show the cops it all felt as if this was happening in slow motion i feel sick to my stomach as i'm writing this and then there is a video which i want to show you afterwards instead of okay now but he basically gets a video of the person just standing there without the hood and just staring at the house and then he just runs no eyeballs with no eyes see the part with no eyes yeah i don't want

to see this and he just runs afterwards like it's like maybe four seconds of footage i would not like to be a part of this i ran back around the house and got inside goes inside the house that this thing is staring at that seems smart i scrambled upstairs and looked out my bedroom window at the front yard but she had vanished remembering it now it feels like i didn't it didn't really happen like it was a nightmare or something i called the cops and explained what happened i'm sure i sounded crazy but they said they'd send someone by morning by morning no uh and to keep my doors locked so that's where i am now it is hard to be like oh there's a lady outside and not you know yeah a dude calling the police being like there's a lady wandering around but my doors are locked like they probably didn't think it was very pressing um so this is a couple

days later he said he had shitty reception. I explained everything to the cop and even took him to the clearing where I found the stuff. But it was all gone except for the notebook. And since the notebook is empty, it was basically useless. I feel like the cop didn't believe me anyway. I showed him the phone. The photos I took of the stick things. He said at worst it was considered vandalism.

He kept asking if i knew the person in the video i think he just thought i was trying to prank him after he left i went back and got the notebook from the clearing maybe there's a way to figure out what was written on the last page anyway the cop drove away and i was alone again it's so quiet up here all i want to do is leave but i feel like i can't i'm so far away from home uh i haven't seen the woman from before this is now halloween lol uh but i still feel like she's out there and other weird things are happening too from home. Uh, I haven't seen the woman from before. This is now Halloween, LOL. Hmm.

Uh, but I still feel like she's out there and other weird things are happening too. I took a walk around the lake yesterday because I wanted to get a look at the other houses in the area, maybe to see if someone had noticed anything weird, but they're all empty. Every house is totally dark and there are no cars in any of the driveways. I haven't seen a single person at all except once.

Well, sort of after i came back from my walk i was out on the deck and i saw a boat in the water way off in the distance they weren't moving they weren't moving they stayed there all afternoon i feel like they were watching me it's like a silhouette of a little boat off in the distance yep in still water they actually stayed out there in the same place until it got too dark to see them anymore. Normally I'd think they were just fishing if it weren't for what happened the day before

and the fact that all these houses seem empty where did they come from? Were they fishing also? Because if they weren't then that's also part of the reason. That's fair too. The boat was gone this morning so who knows. That was a dog. Sorry, what just happened?

That was a dog yelping outside. Oh, I thought that was Gio morning, so who knows? That was a dog. Sorry, what just happened? That was a dog yelping. Outside. Oh, I thought that was Gio. Oh, was it? I don't know. Maybe I misunderstood. Sorry. Maybe there's someone with a hood out there.

I misunderstood his yelp. The boat was gone this morning, so who knows? I microwaved some oatmeal for breakfast and took it down to the dock near the water. It's weird, but I guess I feel safer down there. The water makes me feel less stressed. Yeah, it is weird. It is weird because the place you should feel safest is on the highway towards a big fucking city where nobody is like this person's not gonna find you where people with with eyes i kind of feel this i kind of feel like

time goes by faster when i'm by the lake it feels meditative anyway i was actually starting to feel a little better about everything and i was starting to head back to the house when i noticed something in the water i'm gonna be ill what is it it was this tiny little inlet by the shore it was small and white and at first i thought it was a brightly colored rock and it seemed too round probably against my better judgment i took off my shoes and went into the water to retrieve it it was an eyeball no actually it says it was an eyeball a fucking eyeball but not a real eyeball this has to be from an animal right please tell me this is a real eyeball please tell me this is from a big fish or something i threw it back in the water and

hustled back up the house i washed my hands in the sink and then sat on the couch for a long time and then set the house on fire and i don't know what's going on i can't believe i picked that up out of the water i still feel disgusting and to make matters worse the boat is back out there it showed up again this afternoon and it's just sitting there in the same place as yesterday are they watching me from that boat yeah yes yes they are i can confidently tell you they're just throwing eyeballs in the water staring at you oh i keep hearing things at night this is now november 6th i keep hearing things at night i stand out on the deck and i feel like i hear things moving through the trees it's probably just deer or something but i can't help imagining it's something else i'm sure i'm making it out to

be worse than it is our deer nocturnal i see them out on the road sometimes when i'm driving i try not to think about it but last night it was worse i heard screams oh my god that sounds so stupid to say but i don't know what else to call it i was brushing my teeth and heard something out on the bathroom window i'm sure it was an animal but my toothbrush was buzzing so i can't be unsure because he was using quip quip uh and then this morning i found the bloody remains of something oh right in the middle of the yard it was literal intestines and they were fresh i feel like i can't even post something like that on twitter like is it gonna get flagged if i post it probably i don't know what to do i mean i'm about to flag that goddamn eyeball photo there's a photo of it if you have an eyeball thing

be careful maybe i can upload it separately and share the link or something fair warning this is pretty gross so i don't great so don't look if you're squeamish i'm sure it's an animal but what but what did this and why was it left right in front of my house let me see it oh i'm like the bees there's like bees and yellow jackets already eating at it and there's like fur you know what's weird too is you know if an animal like i've grown up with cats and things if there's an animal that's been attacked like they like this is like perfectly formed intestine like none of that is torn apart like eaten yeah something just got pulled out of it almost just like but it's also legitimate and that there's like there's bugs all over it like eating at it it's been removed from something and set there yeah sorry

it's disgusting anyway i scooped it up with a shovel and flung them into the woods and no that's when you call the police and say what is this what is this what yeah truly there's an eyeball somewhere i've been trying to figure out what's written in the notebook from the woods i've had it a couple days and i can see faint letters but i can't make them out a bunch of people replied and told me to do pencil or charcoal rubbing um i found a bunch of pens but no pencils so i had to go back into town i was actually really hard to find charcoal um i guess it would be huh especially if you're in a town where like there's like five people right it seems like people in town are starting to recognize me i don't like it it didn't plan i didn't plan to be here long, but it looks like I might not have a choice.

People are nice enough, but it seems like the kind of town where everyone knows everyone and I definitely don't belong. When I was in the hardware store, these little kids were following me around, giggling and making fun of me. I think they were twins. I couldn't really hear... I saw your body regurgitate. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I'm sure they were making fun of me. On the way out of town, I stopped at a grocery store, but they were out of some of the things I wanted. Charcoal.

Charcoal. It seems like they're always out of stuff. They've been out of eggs for a couple days, so I've gotten some Pop-Tarts and stuff and left. Thank you for that, though. Good random fact about this town. I mean, I'd be really appreciative to know what type of Pop-Tart, but I guess if you're not going to let me know. Not egg type. Not, ew.

Not charcoal type. Nope. Anyway, the notebook. I've actually been putting it off for most of the afternoon because I wasn't sure I wanted to find out what the woman was writing in it. I can't ignore it forever. I'm going to eat dinner and I guess try the charcoal. I'll be back in a bit. Jesus. I did a charcoal rubbing over the most recent page.

I'm sort of freaking out. Sort of. And here is a post. And it just says in chicken scratch over and over, they took my eyes. They took my eyes. They took my eyes. They took my eyes. I'm going to vomit.

And it gets bigger and more aggressive. Yes, it gets bigger and more aggressive yes it gets bigger and more aggressive what even is this what the fuck i feel like i'm gonna throw up i need to go sit down what the hell is going on i feel like i'm gonna throw up that's heinous i called my mom yesterday i wanted to see if she knew anything about this place she said i've actually been here before when i was really young but i don't remember any of that i tried to ask again why she never got along with my grandfather but she was so cagey about it that she um she grew up in a small she grew up in a town nearby and my grandfather didn't move into this house until after my mom left for school I guess she never really came back so now him and his mom have

real no relation to this house right we talked for a little bit but my reception here is spotty she asked if she if there's still wine in thear, and I told her there wasn't a cellar. But she said there is, down in the basement, off to a corner. After she hung up, I went downstairs to look, and she was right. There's a bunch of old antiques. Oh, finally, there's wine. Oh, everywhere there's wine. There's a bunch of old antique stuff in the basement, and behind some filing cabinets, there's a dusty little wine cellar.

I can't believe I missed it at first. It it's full of wine and some of it is really old i mean some of it's literally like oh yeah that's like tearing apart oh wait go back to um this looks like this is christine's uh it's like my grandma's cellar in uh in bavaria the big old house any of this mean anything to you? Yeah, some of them are newer ones, but these guys are old. There's these too. There were also these weird wooden wine stoppers all over the place. Forget it.

Those are creepy little faces. And then there's a dead rat on the ground saying from the looks of it, nobody's been down here for a while. Cute. And look at some of these bottles. I don't know anything about wine i wonder if they're any good anyway at least i have a surplus of alcohol down here to keep my mind off i was gonna say things have turned up a little bit look this is from 1864 this one 1934

it's apple brandy from 1864 apparently apple brandy wow yeah you're gonna have to imbibe a lot of that and you deserve it at this point uh this house keeps surprising me i keep finding weird shit around the property like there's a collapse shed in the back a little way through the trees like this is my dream house except for the woman without eyes right the rest of it i'm all about abandoned wooden cabin yeah with secret cellars and stuff i love that uh none of it makes sense and there's something else i found out that i can't stop thinking makes sense and there's something else i found out that i can't stop thinking about oh god there's so much junk around this house but i'm

trying to clean it up partly because it'll help uh the place sell faster but also to keep my mind off things i was sorting through some debris and found these old rusty letters in a pile on the ground partly under the foundation i couldn't see i could see some nail holes on the side of the house so i think they were on the house at one point i know sometimes people give lake houses names i can't figure out what they might have said though i brought them inside and laid them all out on the kitchen floor so then he posts this picture of all the letters and asks his like followers to be like what could this spell out yeah yeah so that comes back later um but he did ask people to write in. He is laying out a good story, I will say. Like, I know, who knows how much of this, but definitely enticing.

Totally. The fact that he's like, huh, what could this mean? Right. Definitely like pandering to the audience here. Oh, yeah. Okay, so now it's November 21st. Sorry for not updating in a while. The reception up here is terrible and I haven't been able to get Twitter to load.

I've mostly been trying to keep busy busy getting the house in shape to sell a realtor is supposed to come here next week to help me formally list it okay that makes more sense i was wondering like why the hell he's spending so much time windexing but okay if you're trying to get rid of the house sell it that makes more yeah i guess like trying to just make it look presentable first clean up the yard like that makes more sense clean up all like the weird debris and like make sure you store the wine for yourself put some eyeballs like outside of of the view of the potential customers. Yeah, try to get the weird person in the woods out of the way. Yeah, you don't want new potential owners seeing, you know, intestines.

But there's something weird about the town down the road that I can't figure out. I've been getting cabin fever pretty bad. So the other day I drove into town to have breakfast and wander around a little bit to get my mind off things. There's only one restaurant in town, from what I can tell. I went in there to eat, and the whole experience was sort of bizarre. I'm not really sure how to explain it. Anyway, I ordered the Eggs Benedict off the menu. The waitress had a pretty chilly attitude, but then she brought me my food, and they totally forgot the eggs on my Eggs Benedict. It was just ham and hollandaise. Oh, but they were out of eggs but the whole town

seems to be out of eggs i called the waitress back and told her she'd forgotten my eggs and she said we don't have that i asked how a diner could not have eggs but actually and she said sorry and walked away it was so weird i was so confused so i took a second look at the menu i realized the description doesn't actually list eggs in the benedict and then i realized eggs aren't listed anywhere on the menu okay there's even in the sides it's called benedict i love that also it's called all american homestead diner since 1953 that's the name of the restaurant it is a real menu like he's at least like this is i mean he's if this is fake he committed like he must have worked at iss with me or something and made a fake menu or he had to purchase in bulk like 500 menus to make one photo but it i mean even says like florentine english

muffin with feta cheese and spinach benedict english muffin canadian bacon and hollandaise and then like buttermilk pancakes and like all the sides the sides are bacon sausage turkey bacon canadian bacon home fries grits and corned beef hash. So, like, all the, everything, every staple except for, like, the, like, only breakfast staple of eggs. Yeah. That's so weird. French toast breakfast. It's literally just served with butter. So, how do you even make French toast without eggs, right?

That's a good question. Like. That's a good question. Wow. There's the continuity error I'm seeing. Good point, yeah. Because the French toast, I mean. Yeah.

It's just bread. Just toast. It's American toast. That's's right it's no longer french what kind of diner doesn't have eggs at all that might make sense if this were a vegan restaurant or something but they have meat all over the menu i can't figure it out a very very astute oh yeah also on my way out there's a family in a booth sort of watching me leave they're all being really quiet in a sort of obvious way. They had two twin girls with them. Not this again. I'm definitely not coming back here.

Oh, I thought you meant you. I was like, yeah, me neither. Definitely not going to the All-American Homestead since 1953. I love eggs. I will not be attending. I was thinking about, I was thinking about the hallway home.

There are too many things that don't make sense. I don't feel any closer to figuring it out, but one thing seems clear. I'm not welcome here. When I got home, I found something folded up and wedged in my front door near the handle good night get a ring doorbell what is it christine i don't want to know oh oh oh no it's a folded a piece of paper that just has someone had written leave it's definitely that same handwriting

same handwriting it just says leave it was written on the back of some sort of tag. I suspect it was that eyeless woman from before. I haven't seen her, but I still think she's out there. Wait, what's on the tag? Is it like a clothing tag? Oh. Clean and dry repair area thoroughly. Cut patch larger than repair area.

Is it for a band-aid or something? Place patch over holes? And press down firmly do not oh it's a for um i think it's for like an air mattress oh right like a patch like a place over oh yeah and don't inflate for 30 minutes yeah yeah okay so i mean i don't know if that's necessary to the story i don't know it looks random tag but like air mattress that's kind of creepy if there's someone sleeping outside now i don't know uh i think something bad is coming i'm gonna go pop another bottle of wine i don't know what else to do that that you're right that's the only thing you can

do at this point a couple days before december i saw something out in the woods today well that's always good i've been trying not to spend all my time i've been trying to spend all my time sorry i've been trying to not spend all my time at the house since being cooped up all the time makes me feel crazy, even though it might not be super safe to be out alone in the woods. Oh, no, maybe not super safe. And then, anyways, I was taking a walk today, and these woods would be so pretty if I didn't feel like someone was going to murder me out here. That's what I say every time I walk through the woods, though. I was almost enjoying myself when I stumbled into a clearing and found something strange. Oh!

There was a single filthy chair overlooking an edge. It's like a folding chair. And it didn't seem that creepy at first, but I got this funny feeling, so I took out my phone and pulled out my Maps app, and sure enough, the chair was pointed the exact direction of my house. I was probably a mile away from home vomitous it made me feel a mile away yeah oh god i it made me feel queasy and i didn't want to stick around so i hustled out of there but i barely i walked 30 feet when

i found something else something way worse i keep scaring every time you scroll i like have to look away i'm really nervous and there's another there's a video and pictures of another shrine of some sort of bone creature, something bone, with a bunch of snail shells and rocks and twigs on it. It's another artifact. And it's like moss shaped in a triangle again around the bone. With what the hell is this as the caption. Oh, God. Ayayayay. Sorry sorry i went too far nope i didn't go too i didn't go far enough that's the problem hang on a sec i think my twitter had to reload itself sorry christine entertain them so here's what you do what would you do if you were

him right now i would hire somebody to go you know tidy or what what's that one handy hire someone to go clean the house call a real estate agent and be like i will meet you there for one hour on one hour only and then you can sell this place sure all the money you are going to put toward all those eggs just put it toward the real estate agent all right good oh take the wine take the take the wine and any version of a weapon you can sage the wine and then take the wine i finally pulled myself away and practically stumbled away from the rock i felt dizzy walking away and i just wanted to go back home i started back in the direction of the house and that's when

i saw her no woman from before no she was standing up on a hill seemingly staring at nothing i darted behind a nearby tree but luckily i don't think she saw me she doesn't have eyes we already got to figure that out man i hadn't seen her in weeks but i knew she was still out here and there's a video i'm gonna throw up of this woman just standing cloaked in the woods staring down at the ground facing this way facing you as like if she had eyes she would see you i took a video from behind the tree i don't even know why it's not like it'll do any good but at least i have proof that i wasn't imagining any of this it looks like a dementor but like scarier because it's like a hoodie and it looks like a real person is just troubled it's

literally a nine second video of just someone just standing there and doing nothing in the middle of the woods. Like the video is from behind a tree, so it keeps kind of going in and out. For God's sakes. I'm sorry the story is long, but I promise it's good. Eventually she left the hill and disappeared into the woods. Once I was sure she was gone, I practically ran back home. Practically, actually.

I would hope so. The whole way back, I kept expecting her to appear and attack me or something. I don't understand what she's doing out there. Is she a witch? That sounds so stupid, but I don't know how to explain any of this. Those weird stick artifacts and now this thing on the rock. It feels like fucking witchcraft. Blair Witch.

Blair Witchcraft. And who's that on the boat that I keep seeing out on the lake? Why is everyone in town so weird? At this point, I want answers. I feel like I'm getting close to something. I'm just scared of what the answers might be. Oh my god. I found out what those letters spell.

Okay, I already have goose cam. I'd basically forgotten about it after finding them outside the house. I put them back in the closet and pretty much stopped thinking about them. But yesterday, I found something else. There's this little alcove upstairs with a bunch of old books. Sort of like a mini library. I was flipping through some of them when I came across a little book about wine written by Christine Schieffer. Tucked inside, there were a couple of old Polaroids and they were pretty faded.

The second one was the blurriest, was blurrier than the first one. For a minute, I didn't know what I was looking at, but then I realized it was the side of the house and the letters I found on the ground a couple weeks ago. The photo is super fuzzy, so it took me a second, but I was able to make it out, and it spells Deepwater Chapel. For fuck's sake. This was so weird. I never heard that name before. Was my house an old church or something? I spent the afternoon going through all the other books in the library, but didn't find any other pictures.

I don't know what to make of this. I'll let you know if I find anything else. But yeah, I don't know. December 12th. Read it, Christine. She was here. That woman was in my house. Yep.

Holy crap! Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. I can barely type. Sorry, I'll try to explain. All right, so I was in the woods out back yesterday why on why are you not somewhere else go home have you not read what we've read on your twitter you know on mean girls when uh tina fey like the girl who like doesn't even go here hey tina fey's like go home yeah just just so many people in the comments of this thread

just post that gift really it's so funny's so funny. It's so good. I mean, God, that's the only thing I could think, though, is like, leave. I was in the woods out back yesterday when it started pouring. It happened really suddenly, and even though I wasn't far from the house, I got soaked. It got soaked anyway. I got soaked anyway. It rained most of the evening. I left my clothes by the fireplace to dry and ended up going to bed early.

Or I guess it was today. Sorry, I'm still not really awake yet anyway i had this awful dream tonight sorry if i'm rambling a bit i'm still trying to collect my thoughts my hands are shaking in the dream i was on the deck outside with a bunch of friends from back home we were all sitting in a circle my friend eric was there talking about how creepy the woods were he was saying how the trees were just like black silhouettes and anything could be out there watching you and you never know it. Isn't that fun? He was sort of freaking me out, but I was trying not to show it. I'm all, I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. You're not going to scare me. And Eric sort of narrowed his eyes at

me and says, I bet I can scare you. Something about the way he said it made me uneasy. And I was like, all right, very funny, you can stop now. But Eric wasn't smiling anymore, and he was just staring back at me. The whole mood seemed to shift at that point. Nobody in the circle was talking anymore, and it suddenly got really quiet, no sound except the wind and the lake down below. Any trace of joking has disappeared from Eric's face.

After a long minute, he slowly cocked his head to the side a bit and said is there someone here with us right now who shouldn't be all right well um goodbye all of a sudden i was too scared to break eric's gaze afraid i'd see something i didn't want to for a long time we just stared at each other nobody said anything and then very softly eric said is somebody watching you sleep right now, Greg? Oh, no. That's when I bolted awake. It was the middle of the night. I was alone in my room, but I had this weird feeling that someone had just been there in the room with me.

No, no, no. I laid there in bed for a minute, too terrified to move, too scared to breathe even. No. And then I heard something downstairs. No. At least I thought I did. This house is always making sounds, but I couldn't be sure. I hesitated for a second. Then I crept out of the bed and went down to the hall, trying to be as quiet as possible. No. down i was wide awake at that point and too shaken to go back to bed so i went downstairs to get a

snack or some coffee or something i walked into the kitchen and then stopped dead in my tracks i don't want to look there's a door in the kitchen that leads outside and it was wide open wide open he woke up in the middle of the night and his door is wide open to the outdoors outside i was wondering why you weren't reacting. I thought I was looking for a figure in there or something. Nope, just he came downstairs and the door is now wide open. The door that was locked, I presume. It was locked.

I know I locked it. I lock all the doors every night and even if I forgot to lock it, I know I wouldn't leave the door wide open like this. No, that makes no sense. And the whole kitchen floor is now wet with rain. Well, even the fact that this person or whatever didn't even bother to close the door as if like oh i don't even care that he knows i was here like it's very intentional like i want you to be fucking scared the door being open to the i can't believe you took a photo i would have

fucking slammed that shit and i would have and also like how do you know that they're not still there like maybe i left the door open just to do you know that they're not still there? Like, maybe they left the door open just to psych you out. Or they're right outside the door so you can't go near it. Oh my god, I'm gonna throw up. I'm calling a locksmith first thing in the morning.

First thing in the morning! Call the police now, immediately. You are on Twitter. My good sir. I wanted to leave, but I don't even know where to go. I'm alone out here. Should I find a motel?

Yes! I just realized my wet clothes are gone. She fucking stole my clothes what i'm not spending the night the ones from the fireplace that were drying oh no i'm sorry i haven't oh this is uh two weeks later by the way no someone's like oh he did he's fucking g-o-n-e goodbye uh i'm sorry i haven't said anything in a while this is two days before christmas i've been staying in a motel about an hour outside of town when i left the house that night i just kept driving until i felt

like i was far enough away to feel safe i called the locksmith but they weren't able to come out right away and there was no way i was going back to that house without new locks so i've been waiting it out here until i can go back basically doing nothing jumping at every little sound finally a couple days ago the locksmith called and said he'd come back out so i checked out the motel and got in my car to drive home and the closer i got to the woods the worse i felt in my head i knew going back was wrong but i just but i can't just leave for good i don't know i can't explain it i can't leave i don't expect anyone to understand it's almost as if the house is attaching itself or the creature is attaching herself to you that's oh that's me that's me saying that like it sounds like he's gotten attached to you that's oh that's me that's me saying that like it sounds

like he's gotten attached to the house yeah yeah yeah anyway i drove past town and reached the woods um where the roads get worse and harder to drive on they get twisty as you drive up there's not a single deer in sight in fact the woods seemed a lot quieter than usual i could have been imagining it but something seemed off i was almost ready to turn around when something darted across the road. Goodbye. It was so fast that I wasn't sure I saw it at all. I panicked and swerved off the road and into a deep groove by the roadside. I have no idea what it was.

It was just a blur. It wasn't a deer. It was red like blood. What? Worse, my car was stuck. It was my mom's old car. I knew it wasn't a good idea to walk the rest of the way, but if I didn't,'t, I'd miss the locksmith and I'd have to either spend the night in the house with old locks or go back to the motel, which I couldn't afford. Or be in the car or something.

I don't know. I guess no option is good. No option is good. It's all bad. I wasn't too far from the house, so it made the most sense to walk the rest of the way and call a tow truck from home. Once I was outside, I realized i'd been right out right about the wood seeming quieter than usual i couldn't even hear birds it was dead silent that's not good every twig that cracked under my shoe sounded like bones breaking i was periodically

checking my phone's gps to make sure i was heading the right way um i had just rechecked my route and it was about to put my phone away and i was about to put my phone away when i saw something that made my heart sink great it was another one of those artifacts like the ones i'd seen on my first day but it had one of my gloves tied to it from the rainstorm when i left my clothes by the fire to dry there was a pair of gloves there too it's definitely a wooden made stick triangle with a glove in it you know what else is creepy it's like formed like a hand like they've it's not just like a dangling glove it's like as if it's making a fist almost what i wonder wait so it's daytime he's walking back as the sun's about to set oh okay i thought

we were in the middle of the night and i was like i'm very confused okay it's daytime yeah got it okay and uh walking back and then sees us on the way to his house forget about it i knew that woman had taken my clothes that night and this just confirmed it. I also knew I'd find the rest of my clothes before I even saw them. Ugh. And sure enough, I found more of those artifacts not far from the first. Oh my god. And this is terrible.

I found my other glove, my socks, and a bandana. Everything from that night except for a sweatshirt I'd been wearing. So there's three new ones on the way they all have different pieces of clothing of his in the center of the triangle let me guess he's gonna see her and she's gonna be in a sweatshirt oh like a new hoodie yeah oh interesting some shopping i left them alone this time i didn't want to touch them all i wanted to do was get back to the house change the locks call a tow truck i started jogging a bit wanted nothing more than to get away from those sick things but after a while i started to think i should have been home already oh no i slowed my pace and took out my phone but it wouldn't

recalibrate this time it couldn't seem to locate me in the gps still i couldn't i could hear the lake off to my left which meant i was walking alongside it the right way i should get to my house eventually so i kept moving and try not to think about getting meant i was walking alongside it the right way i should get to my house eventually so i kept moving and try not to think about getting lost i must have gotten turned around because i was walking for what seemed like ages i found myself in a part of the woods that seemed unfamiliar i had no idea where i was and then suddenly i saw something off in the distance something bright white almost seeming to glow against the dark trees i couldn't figure out what it was from

a distance when so i went i went closer trying to be as quiet as i could when i actually got close enough to see what it was and my mouth fell open and they were eggs literally fell open literally fell open what it's eggs eggs what wait let me see this is where it gets creepy posse because they were huge oh they look like balloons to me they look like um they look like white balloons yeah they do look like balloons he could also be taking pictures really up close but proportionally it doesn't look right so they're large but he says they're large eggs right he says they're huge eggs all in a cluster like a nest oh forget it um i felt like

i was dreaming before i even knew what i was doing i touched one i couldn't help myself it was warm i had a sudden urge to smash it and see what was inside but then just as quickly decided against it your urges are all wrong your urges are off bro i felt sick like i was going to throw up if i didn't leave right away i left the clearing and tried to listen to for the lake and then headed in that direction i got to the lake shore and felt a little better since i was out of the street since i was out of the trees i had a better view of my surroundings and i was able to pinpoint my house a ways down the shore i never thought i'd be so happy to see it the rest of the way back i felt like i had vertigo i couldn't make sense of anything that had just happened and i still can't um the locksmith arrived a little

bit later and changed out the locks i watched him work in a daze it was almost as if i also had him installed dead bolts but now i'm alone again and i can't stop thinking about what i saw i can't figure any of this out i don't know what's happening i know i should leave but i can't i heard something someone's outside and we're coming up on the grand finale here that's its own tweet i heard something someone's outside i was in the kitchen washing a glass and i heard something outside on the deck a scratching sound and then it stopped i thought i imagined it but then i heard footsteps and for some reason i just ran outside without thinking i don't know what's wrong with me i don't even know if i'm scared anymore i just want answers i can't be sure but i think it was her i saw someone running in the woods

but i couldn't catch her in time i thought about chasing her into the woods but decided against it i don't want to get lost out there tonight no i turned around to go back inside and that's when i saw what she'd been doing on my deck in the first place his sweatshirt is now hanging in a massive tree stick artifact and behind it she has etched in fear the new moon like into the wood of the house yes i still shouldn't be surprised by these artifacts but this one was huge taller than me and it had my sweatshirt from the storm tied in the middle what are the side the white things those are the sticks it's like a massive branches they're like logs like yeah branches wow oh absolutely not honestly i'm just gonna leave it there i'm sick of this i was about to go back inside when i noticed that something

was written on the wall fear the new moon what the fuck does that mean i uh i hate what i hate that i consider this my house now which is a whole new thing that this feels normal i'm losing it i want this to end whatever this new moon shit is i feel like something's coming fuck this and then posted a picture like a screenshot from his phone of when the next new moon is right and he tweeted i guess the next new moon is january 5th so january 4th we see tweets it says there's going to be a storm tomorrow which would be january 5th the new moon okay the new moon is tomorrow too i should be fine if i just stay inside wrongo friendo, friend-o. What happened the last time? Right. It's been storming all day and into the night,

thunder and everything. I stayed inside all day. Nothing has happened yet. Maybe nothing will happen. Okay. Still, I'm nervous. I've been freaked out all day. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I should leave tomorrow. We've told you enough times. It is January 5th. You've been here since october 29th it is time to go sir uh i'm not even really sure what i'm saying i just need to occupy myself with something um i can't do this anymore i'm leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning i don't care about selling this house anymore i just want to go home i just need to make it through the night

i'll be fine if i stay inside um and then january 5th that night she's here she was in the cellar that's right that's right she was that's fucking right drinking that apple brandy she's like 1864 1864 that's my fucking apple brandy dick uh then gregory says fuck i practically ran into her she didn't even hear me because of the thunder outside her back was to me and she was standing dead still in the middle of the room just staring at the wall i don't think i can look at this it is a person staring at the wall let me see who has no hair the hood is down to be clear the hood is down a bald person with presumably no eyeballs either presumably no eyeballs no hair no eyeballs i couldn't move i was petrified all i could do

was stand there like a fool and stare at the back of her head and then she turned around and she spoke to me wait sorry real quick can you imagine taking that photo and you're like taking the photo and then you forgot to turn the volume down and it's like you take a photo click like the flash goes on oh no uh so she speaks to me and now officially we have gone to a place where i feel safe to say that this is very much likely a creepypasta okay i mean i'm very frightened which i guess is the point once i tell you the rest of it is gonna sound a lot more fiction based than anything so but up until this point wow have i been scared out of my mind yeah i mean especially reading this late at night and you're on twitter where someone's just like

relaying their own personal story it's not not good so and then she turned around and she spoke to me she said she won't hurt me she said she explain everything. I'm sorry this is all happening so fast. She's sitting in my living room right now. I can't believe this is happening. Can you imagine like trying to like text like under the table? Like, oh my God, she's right here. It's like we don't have T9 anymore. Like you can't just like text without looking.

Hey Siri, send a tweet. Oh shoot. Don't actually, everybody don't. She's't she's still talking oh okay she doesn't understand what else is new okay um okay sorry i'm just trying to make sense of this she said she'd tell me everything i'll be back i'll be back like let's we'll have coffee first and then yeah like you guys have a date okay i get it First, she said she made the stick things for my protection. Huh, twist there. Yeah.

She says it's dangerous out here, and she was trying to protect me. When I asked what she was trying to protect me from, she said she was quiet for a long time. When she finally replied, I could barely hear her, and she said, there are things in the water. I didn't really believe her, but I didn't have any rational explanation for the things I've seen, so instead I just listened. Apparently a long time ago, something came from the sky and landed in the lake. It brought something with it, something ancient and strange. An eyeball. An eyeball.

And Windex. The people who lived here began to commune with it, so the people at the chapel. They protected it from the outside world, devoted their lives to lives to it and in return the thing gave them a gift the people were blessed with abnormally long healthy lives and many children but it all came with a price i had so many questions but i didn't know which ones to ask in the beginning there was just one it spent most of its time deep in the lake slumbering but over time it made more instinctively i asked about the eggs i saw in the woods and the woman nodded there are many of them now they eggs I saw in the woods, and the woman nodded. There are many of them now.

They come from the water to lay eggs, and the people take care of them, hide them away until they hatch, but when they hatch, they need to feed. At that point, I started to put two and two together, and I thought about all the twins I'd seen in town, and she must have sensed my understanding because she said,

I told you there was a price the people in this town are blessed with many children but they don't get to keep them all what when the eggs hatch the people must bring one of their own to the woods and the creatures need to eat they start with your eyes i asked her how she knew all this but i already knew the answer yeah i'm like why would you they start with the eyes also i don't have eyes but i i guess if you need me to explain it i will oh can you imagine and that's and they they start with the eyes oh what happened to your eyes yeah like i don't get it i know because it happened to me when i was a girl my father brought me into the woods with the others offered me up to the newborns and they took my eyes and the best part of that to me is it's like can you imagine being

the child where it's like you're looking at your siblings like which one of us is it gonna be you must be sucking up to your parents you must be kissing constantly like oh my gosh like it's not whether or not santa's watching you it's like whether or not you're getting fed to these creatures it's more like a german christmas tale if i ever heard one i waited until she was ready to speak again it was a long time before she did. I waited until she was ready to speak again. It was a long time before she did. She told me how she was led to one of the eggs, how she watched it break open, how something came out of it. And before she knew it, something was on her, burrowing into her eyes.

She wasn't sure what happened next. She only remembers the searing pain. And then suddenly she was set free. She doesn't know if she managed to push the creature off or if someone helped her, but she got away and ran into the woods. And she was too scared to go home. Duh, your dad just did that to you bring it right back and eventually the forest became her home because she stayed in the woods i felt completely bewildered none of this made any sense to me but at the same time i uh somehow it did i couldn't figure out what to say finally i asked why are you willing to tell me all this now after all this time and the woman, it's the same every year.

They come out of the water in the fall, lay their eggs. A few of them begin to hatch early and they feed on animals in the woods. They need strength to make it back to the water. But most of them hatch when it's darkest. And tonight is the new moon. Tonight is the ceremony. Oh, so it's their new moon. It's dark.

My stomach began to sink as realization set in. Realization about what was about to happen in the woods. We have to do something to stop it, I blurted out. I started getting out of my chair, but she shook her head and said, it happens the same way every year. We can't stop it. But I wasn't listening. I don't even know where I was going, but I ran into the woods. At some point, the rain had stopped. It was dark and I couldn't see anything. Things were moving through the trees.

I could see lights in the distance, fire or flashlights. More than once, something ran past me in the trees. I was using my phone as a flashlight to try to take pictures, but everything was happening so fast. I don't know what these are. And then posted pictures of other people. They're kind of people people but maybe they're creatures that were hatched they look like zombies almost staring at him through the woods and then this was the closest one he could get yeah that's a zombie that's it looks like a zombie

to me a skeleton uh he said they all moved so fast i ran for what seemed like an eternity ran in circles. I had no idea where I even was. And then somehow I was back in the same clearing where the eggs had been, but they were gone now. Nothing but bits of shell. So what he saw maybe were the things that had hatched. Right.

And so his initial thought of, oh, these things want your eyeballs. They're outside. Oh, I should go out and stop them? I don't know what what are you doing uh it was over i was too late it had already happened and they'd cleared everything up or they'd cleaned everything up i was too late so ideally he he wanted to like save people how i don't know i have no idea if they're already ready to hatch and you smash them open they're just oh thanks you hatch me. Now give me your fucking eyes.

I'll take those. One for you. One for me. I stood alone in the clearing. The lights in the distance were disappearing. It was getting quieter. And just like that, I was running again towards the lake. I don't even know why.

I couldn't do anything. Branches scraped my face as I ran blindly through trees. I reached the water, but there was nothing there. I saw some faint ripples out on the black water. but then it was over i was too late i'm back at the house the woman is gone it's so quiet i don't know what to say right now i'm gonna leave in the morning i'm still here i'm alive i left the house that night on that was on january 16th there's an ad for hellman's mayonnaise and then there's some mayo in the middle of the thread uh i decided he's like sponsored post right made of eggs made of eggs wait a minute fresh i decided not to sell it i

don't think anyone would buy it anyway i locked the doors and i got in the car and left i'm home now trying to process everything the morning after it was so quiet and peaceful in the woods it was like nothing had happened at all or Or like I dreamed it maybe. Sorry it took me so long to update. I wasn't sure what to say. I still have so many questions. I might never have all the answers. But something happened out there.

I can't explain it. But whatever it was, I can't let it happen again. That's why I'm not going to sell the house. That woman said this happens every year. If she was telling the truth, then maybe there's something I can do next time. So I guess that's all for now. I'm heading back to school next week. So hopefully that will take my mind off of things and then the last text is or the last tweet i'm not sure when i'll tweet again i need to take a break and

get my head together but i'll be back i have to go back i won't let it happen again so who knows i do it probably wasn't real at all right Right. However. But it's very creepy. The first half of that, and I'm so sorry that was so long, but I was reading it and just like enamored with this last night. It is creepy, dude. And it was, the first half of it terrified me. And then I got to those massive eggs and I was like, wait a minute. It was the point of the eggs that look kind of like balloons and you're like, what is

the, it is weird though, like that. Why don't they have eggs just to not remind people yeah i don't know like they don't have eggs benedict because it's like well you don't want to remind your twin children yeah it's like it's gonna get their eyeballs pulled out i hadn't even thought of that like the eggs are literally a bad omen at this point i guess in the town anyway i'm so sorry that's probably the longest story i've done in a while but it was requested by my cousin good but it was really good good news i have the longest story i've pretty much ever done so this is hopefully you're on a road trip super good uh wowza should we order some food first yes let's order some food uh elevator music

eggs anyone all right we're back we're back also in in our break, as of 20 minutes ago. What are you doing? Antony became the sexiest reality star of 2019. Hello, did I not call it? People Magazine, Antony. I mean, listen, you asked who I was attracted to. I'm telling you who I'm attracted to. I can't control it, okay?

All right, all right, all right. Antony is extremely attractive to me. You and every other person. Apparently. You and every gay man and probably also many straight and queer women. Yeah, I mean. Several non-binaries. Everyone in between.

You're just going to list them all since you don't want to let it. Everyone except me. You don't find him attractive. Okay. No. No. I mean, I think. No.

All right, fine. Well, I don't think he's like not attractive. I just like he's nowhere near my top 10. That's all. Sure. He's no Brie Larson. He's pretty near my top 10. Anyway.

All right. Ready for my story? Yes, I am. This is one that I thought I knew about. Whoa, I didn't. I did not. Sorry. The things that I thought about this were incorrect.

So I learned a lot let's just go okay this is a story of the lindbergh baby kidnapping i don't know what that is what at all no oh wow okay you mean like charles lindbergh yes oh okay then yes i do about this oh so you just thought it was the other baby i thought like there's no way l Lindbergh means Charles Lindbergh. I don't know why. Wait, so... Wasn't his son kidnapped? Yes. That's all I know. So the Lindbergh baby kidnapping?

Yeah, I just didn't... Didn't strike a chord with, oh, I know Charles Lindbergh's baby was kidnapped, but it couldn't have been the Charles Lindbergh baby kidnapping. That's exactly right. Okay. Good. I don't know why anyone's surprised. I am just confused, but that's okay. Welcome to every fucking day of my life.

I'm just trying to understand where you are so I can understand where we're bringing you. Because it seemed like I somehow was right for once, and I was like, that can't be. So I was like, oh, well, there's no way that's... I don't know. Okay, well, so Charles Lindbergh, yep. So anyway, I'm like a total pbs nerd i know whatever make fun of me um but i saw there was a nova special on this and i got really excited i fucking love nova um and by the way i was told uh so peter thomas who was the voice voiceover uh narrator for forensic

files actually did pass away a couple years ago i learned that um and so r.i.p um i know i spoke about him in the present in the last episode i apologize about that um i was not aware uh he passed away in 2016 but he was also an announcer on nova for a long time which i didn't know so crossover i didn't nova yeah good one um so the nova special that i watch is called who killed lindbergh's baby okay so now this is even i'm like i started watching this nova special and i was like holy cannoli it gets even more down my alley because this special is basically hosted by john douglas who's one of my heroes he's on the fbi profile who pioneered the use of behavioral analysis for tracking down serial killers aka holden ford mindhunter um based on douglas also uh jason gideon and david rossi of criminal minds

were based on him uh bau represent shamar moore listen we'll get into it later but basically john douglas is like a brilliant brilliant uh man and you should you should read mindhunter and or watch it because it's a great show and season two was i think even better than the first okay so john douglas um he says he's been haunted by the lindbergh case for years so this special takes him back to the scene to like the original scene of the house and everything to re-examine all the evidence so the story itself as apparently Em knows fully well. Not at all. Literally the only information I know is that Charles Lindbergh had a son.

And then I thought maybe he was kidnapped. So now I'm being confirmed. I mean, you were right. Yeah. You were pretty right. I feel like it's like one of those things that was like in a back fold of my brain. I think I learned about this, but for some reason I thought he survived. Like, I think I told myself like oh the baby survived the baby very much did not survive uh so sorry about that good to know it's spoiler

bursting any bubbles mine um well i did just tell you that the the episode was called who killed lindbergh's baby but yeah sure i know you don't really listen okay so the story revolves around charles augustus lindbergh an American hero. A world hero, if you will. At the age of 25, while working as a U.S. Air male pilot, he shot to world fame when he made a nonstop solo flight from New York to Paris, crossing the Atlantic alone in a single-engine airplane, the Spirit of St. Louis. The flight took 33 and a half hours and turned him into a global icon. So that same year, Lucky Lindy, as he was often nicknamed met and fell in love with

21 year old heiress ann morrow uh they were married in 1929 and the following year she became the first american woman to earn a first class glider pilot's license wow i know they were like very much a power couple they flew together often they were the first couple to fly from africa to south america um and charles and ann had their first son charles jr aka charlie he was born on ann's 24th birthday june 22nd 1930 so he becomes this kind of like icon like prince in the eyes of the american people because you know there there's this american hero and he has this beautiful baby and now the baby's like you know kind of like what's the kardashians names what's the kardashians names well the babies northwest

oh sure east west i don't i would say he's more like a mason disick southwest i don't know their names what's that mason disick is the first of the kardashian grandchildren really yeah oh i don't know much about this i'm sorry i'm really bad i watched nova i watched pbs i don't know i'm sorry it's fine i'm such i worked at e and i still don't know it's really bad i actually was telling the story yesterday about how that to you how chris jenner we was at the show uh at the studio for a show that we worked on, and Alexis dropped her omelet in front of her. And Kris Jenner was like, oh, honey, don't worry about it. We'll just get a new one. Don't worry.

And so kind. You have told me many stories that Kris Jenner is very nice. She's just so, like, kind and put together. And, like, you can tell she's fucking brilliant the way she's set this all up as a business. But she was so kind to us, and we were like, oh, God, sorry. We fucked up. And she's like, don't she's set this all up as a business but she was so kind to us and we were like oh god sorry we fucked up and she's like don't worry we'll get another one she's like i wasn't even that hungry anyway like she was so sweet and then we've had people who were like f-less celebrities who treat us like shit so just just saying psa chris jenner sounds like a babe she's at least very she knows well enough to be like kind to people you know what

i mean like it's yeah some people think it's really cool and like you can get away with to be an asshole diva but it's like no it's not a good look um okay sorry so anyway the apple of his parents eye the apple of america's eye uh one evening when charlie is 20 months old he was also very cute like those like big curly hair and like a gerber baby cute yes like very precious um when he's 20 months old he's put to bed in his crib on the second story of his family's home in hopewell new jersey later that night his father charles goes to check on him and finds the crib empty oh shit probably every parent's worst nightmare i would imagine they found a ladder

propped up against the side of the house leading to charlie's window and a ransom note was left behind on the windowsill the note was riddled with spelling mistakes and grammatical irregularities it read i'm gonna attempt to read this to you i mean you can't see all the spelling i'm just gonna let's just go dear sir exclamation point have fifty thousand dollars ready twenty five thousand000 in $20 bills, $15,000 in $10 bills, and $10,000 in $5 bills. After two to four days, we will inform you where to deliver the money. We warn you for making anything public or for notify the police the child is in good care. Indication for all letters are signature and three holes.

Oh, I get it. that's the first time i understood what that meant so what they're saying is indication for our future letters are this signature and it has three puncture holes in it so basically the signature is um two interconnected blue circles surrounding a red circle kind of like a venn diagram situation got it with a hole punched through the red circle and then two punctures to left and right and that was like their calling card basically so like if you got a letter with that it was from them so it looks like it's written basically they showed it it looks basically from my perspective like someone wrote it with the opposite hand and upside down like trying to make it look like you can't track

their handwriting investigators uh thought the letter was written by someone who spoke german as their native language which was my initial thought. Because, for example, when you write a letter in German, you put an exclamation point instead of a comma, like you'd say Dear M and you'd put exclamation point. And so that's, I think, like a only a German thing. I've never seen that in the US. Also, they wrote so that all the money symbols were at the end of the numbers, which is another thing that's a European thing. And then it also says any ding public instead of anything. And it says the child is in gut care, G-U-T. Oh, okay.

Well, that's a pretty big indicator, right? Right. I was thinking. And I think even if those were kind of obvious, I think the exclamation point alone is something that you would probably just do out of habit like even yeah i don't know that you would know that you wouldn't like think to change it yeah yeah exactly so um anyway the facts that we that they had um were as follows sometime between 8 and 10 p.m on tuesday march 1st 1932 one or more individuals came to the house with a homemade folding ladder. The kidnappers climbed the ladder and entered through the unlocked window, snatched Charlie from his crib, perhaps silencing him or rendering him unconscious because the whole family was awake, but no one heard him cry.

That must be terrifying, too, to know you were awake in your own house when somebody snatched your baby and you had no idea. Yeah. I mean, you're like playing cards. Obviously, what a violation right obviously but then it's like on top of it like i was there yeah i was like feet away anyway um the kidnappers then use a car to get away obviously word of the kidnapping spread like wildfire hundreds of people converged on the lindbergh estate unfortunately this destroyed a lot of evidence which back then it was not as much of a priority

on keeping crime scenes uh uncontaminated so that was a big issue uh at the time actually kidnapping was considered a state offense not a federal crime really yeah yeah so but when herbert hoover was notified he gave the fbi authorization to investigate the case so oh wow okay hoover was like this is a national emergency sure in that voice you know the classic hoover voice yeah yeah you heard it once herbert you heard it heard everywhere else once from here and it was bad and you're never gonna hear it again okay the lindbergh family offered a fifty thousand dollar reward which this is pretty wild in today's money it's a massive sum because um

the uh the nation at the time was in the midst of the great depression so 50 000 with a lot of money today it's 1.4 million and so like thinking about that amount 1.4 million dollars during the great depression exactly so that was like a massive reward like looking high and low for this kid yes yes oh yeah um during this whole media circus a this is where it gets so weird like it took me a long time to parse these notes out in a way that i hope makes sense um just let me know if something doesn't make sense because i think i can explain it but the way i wrote it might be confusing got it so a retired bronx school teacher named john condon who idolized lindberg. He's like this kind of loud guy.

And he was, for whatever reason, like obsessed with Charles Lindbergh. He puts an ad in the newspaper. He says, I volunteer to be the intermediary between the Lindberghs and the kidnappers to handle the negotiations and deliver the ransom money. And for whatever reason, the Lindberghs and the kidnappers are like okay sure yeah you can be our intermediary okay he's like I just idolized Charles Lindbergh he's an American hero and I want to get this baby back just so weird I don't know squeaky wheel man it's just strange I guess right um so for no some reason today to this day they're like I don't know why the hell they agreed to that but

both parties were like sure this weirdo can do it. Unfortunately, Condon was the type to embellish. He, like, talked big game. There's a video of him being like, I know I'm in this nation. Like, he just wanted to be kind of in the public eye, obviously, kind of exploiting this. It's hard to this day to, like, know what parts of his statements were true, which were embellished, which ones he may have completely fabricated. In his first description of the ransom meeting, he described meeting the kidnapper at Woodlawn Cemetery. He claimed the man had a heavy German accent and said to call him John.

So this man became known as Cemetery John. Okay. He described him as being about 5'7", 165 pounds, and having a tall forehead and a large fleshy mass or abnormality on his left thumb. Okay. When Condon expressed doubt to Cemetery John that he actually had the baby, Cemetery John promised some proof. He said, the kidnapper, we will soon return the baby's sleeping suit. Okay. That we took when we kidnapped the baby.

LOL, sleeping suit. I know. I mean, listen. Like, not pajamas? Oh, you don't have a sleeping suit? I don't. You have a sleeping tux, though. With that?

Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. Oh, my God. I have a sleeping bald gown. We're really classy motherfuckers. I haven't seen it. Well.

We've had a lot of sleepovers and you haven't dressed for the occasion so i feel a little hurt i do feel a little bad that i've let you down on that one but i'll save it for a special occasion okay that sounded weird sorry um anyway on march 16th condon received in the mail a toddler's sleeping suit was it the same when charles lindbergh identified the sleeping suit as being his son's, so it was, Condon placed a new ad in the paper. Quote, money is ready. No cops. No secret service.

I come alone like last time. The ransom was packaged in a wooden box, custom made in the hope that later it could be identified. The money included. Yeah. And they actually did this like the whole way through. So the money included a number of gold certificates and interestingly enough those were worth something then but they were actually about to be withdrawn from circulation so they were hoping it would kind of draw attention to people who were still using them after they were withdrawn from circulation

like somebody still had a large number of these sure and additionally the bills were not marked but all their serial numbers were recorded so that they could be smart yeah tracked down if need be wow genius i know so condon dropped off the ransom in exchange for a note saying that charlie was in the care of two innocent women and would not be harmed uh they said he would get the baby back soon so all the family could do at this point was wait and hope for the return of the baby they didn't know who these two women were but we're like okay we gave them what they wanted yeah i feel like i mean i know it's your child but i would also be like i'm here to bring you the money like where the fuck is yeah like kid like we're giving you everything you wanted we don't even want to know what your name is like just i'd be like why would you not bring a baby to that exchange when

yeah your job is to exchange the baby that's the idea right so they're like oh yeah you'll get him back soon uh then two weeks later on may 12th 1932 a delivery truck driver named orville wilson pulled to the side of the road to relieve himself as he walked into a grove of trees he discovered the body of a toddler that body was unfortunately the body of charles jr lindbergh um his body was taken to a morgue in Trenton, New Jersey, to be examined. His skull was badly fractured and the body was badly decomposed. It looked as though someone had tried to hastily bury him in a shallow grave, and there were signs of animals having gotten at the body. The baby was identified as Charlie because he had these overlapping toes on one of his feet, which is really sad.

So his parents were able to identify his feet and a shirt he was wearing that was homemade that somebody in his family had made for him. So it was determined Charlie had died from a blow to the head and from the state of his body. It appeared he had died the night of the kidnapping. So he hadn't been alive this whole time wow so he they killed him so they right away they gave him the they just wanted the money and never plan on ever giving which actually this guy john douglas was saying too is that like pro like the profiler he's like it doesn't make any sense that like you would prepare to care for a toddler for weeks like you need the right formula and you need to like buy the right clothes and diapers and like no murderer no like kidnapped murderer

guy wants to like care for a baby for several weeks so he's like it only makes sense that they would have just offed the baby and then just waited for the money and pretended the baby was alive which is just so dark but like he said it's probably not that surprising um okay so obviously this kidnapping and then the death hit americans hard there was a sense that they compared it to like when jfk was shot just like this shock of like how could this happen um especially just such a violent crime towards a baby and there was this sense that if this could happen to a hero like charles lindbergh it could happen to anyone like your own child or you know americans were heartbroken at this loss of their little baby prince lindbergh had charlie cremated and in june 1932 officials

began to suspect that the crime was perpetrated by maybe someone the lindberghs knew and trusted or at least somebody that they knew and trusted had helped in the plan like facilitating yes yes so you see the family typically spent weekdays at Anne's family estate in Englewood New Jersey because they were still building their own family house in Hopewell so uh but Charlie had a cold and Anne didn't want him to travel so on this Tuesday in particular they were staying at the house um instead of going back to her family's estate but this was the first tuesday night they had ever spent on this property so like who would have known how the kidnappers know that on this night they'd be right at the house every other week of the year they they were at her estate in

in a different part of the state got it so uh that was pretty odd um suspicion first fell on one of the family's servants her name was violet sharp she's a british woman who worked for the family she had given conflicting alibis and she seemed pretty nervous and suspicious so they were kind of keeping an eye on her on june 10th 19, she was scheduled to be questioned a third time. Right before the questioning, she ran up to her room and drank silver polish containing potassium cyanide and took her own life. Oh, that's a tough way to go. Yes. It was very sudden and very painful. Yeah.

Holy crap. Yeah. Very gruesome. They were ultimately able to verify her alibi, though. So later they determined that maybe the threat of losing her job and the intensity of the questioning was what led her to suicide. It's kind of unclear. She'll come back later. But for now, they kind of put her aside.

Next up was Condon, obviously the guy who was being this loud. Like facilitating between them yeah and like getting himself involved which is always kind of always a rough side yeah fine like return to the scene of the crime and all that stuff uh he was actually like whether or not he was involved well he was publicly assumed to have been involved a lot of people were like well this weirdo obviously had something to do with it and he was vilified by many because he was so outspoken and dramatic with his storytelling like he would just go on tv and start like bellowing on this like dramatic way and they're like this is not your you don't know these people like right his actions were also criticized as exploitative when he agreed to appear in a vaudeville

act based on the kidnapping how how fucked up is that how also there were many people that were i mean like that's fucked up but also i'm thinking that there was like enough people to actually create a vaudeville act for this so there's multiple people who oh yeah but he was the one they he would like he's like i know the insider scoop so like he got involved you know i mean it's ultra fucked up it's like he was like oh i idolized charles lindbergh and now i want to be in this like fucking comedy show or whatever about the death of his baby yeah yeah it's just yikes or like not comedy show but like a dramatization yeah we're the comedy show about right right sorry oops um no but like he was like paid to act out it's super exploitive fishy yeah it's just really fishy um anyway

exploitative exploitative exploitative no hell if i know exploitative um unfortunately the case pretty quickly reached a standstill police turned their attention to tracking the ransom payments this time so they're like well we had those bills let's see if we can figure out where those are going pamphlets were made featuring the serial numbers on the ransom bills and 250,000 copies were distributed throughout New York City. About two and a half years after the kidnapping, a guy pulled into a New York City gas station and paid for his gas with a $10 gold certificate. The teller was suspicious because of the gold certificate, thinking he might be a counterfeiter.

He had no relate. Like he was not thinking about Lindbergh. He was just like huh this is a little fishy like these aren't in circulation anymore so just in case he wrote down the car's license plate number on the edge of the smart certificate yeah really smart uh the license plate he tells the police please look into it the license plate belongs to a sedan owned by richard hauptman a german immigrant living in the bronx who had a criminal record in germany one of his crimes he had used a ladder to climb into the second story window window of the mayor's house to steal some money and watches okay so interesting coincidence

like wow interesting several coincidences another crime involved involved holding up two women pushing baby carriages at gunpoint and mugging them so just not looking good for you knowing how to use ladders and interacting with children in a bad way not minding that there are babies involved right um to get to the u.s he actually had escaped from jail stowed away on a steamship and he lied his way through immigration so basically this they're like okay we gotta look into this guy he's clearly not squeaky clean um how to was charged with capital murder which meant that a conviction would result in the death penalty the trial was held at hunterton county courthouse in flemington and was soon dubbed the trial of the century oh wow there it is reporters swarmed the town every hotel room

was booked this was like massive news how to be declared as innocent throughout the trial but the evidence against him was pretty strong so i'm gonna tell you like what the fuck they found okay cool it's okay well i'm ready you'll hear first off investigators discovered over fourteen thousand dollars of the ransom money in his garage uh they also found a sketch of a ladder similar to the one used at the lindberg home. And it's like a homemade ladder. Additionally, they found a sawed-off floorboard in the attic and a wood expert. Apparently that's a thing. Determined it was a perfect match to the ladder found at the scene of the crime based on like the direction of the wood grain.

And when you hold up the sawed-off, there's just like a sawed-off floorboard in the attic. And when you hold it up next to the ladder, it, like, matches, right? Like, okay. That's pretty bad. What's more, they also found Condon's telephone number and address written in pencil on the wall of his closet. It doesn't sound good. It sounds pretty bad.

Yeah, it's not good. Look. Also, it's been how many years? Two and a half. Okay. I thought for a second it was 10 i was like he still has like all the shit lying around you gotta erase that it's pencil it's written literally pencil that's the point of an eraser you wanted to get caught at that point

at that point you really weren't thinking us through but so this is what he claimed so poutman claimed the money had been left with him by his friend and former business partner isador fish who had died in germany Germany in March of 1934. Houtman stated that Fish had left this shoebox behind on a tall shelf, and Houtman hadn't realized it was full of money until much later. Okay. And when he discovered it, he's like, well, Fish owed me a shit ton of money, so I just kept it.

Like, I didn't think of reporting it. He also claimed Condon's address was written on the closet wall after he became interested in the case after reading about it in the paper. Okay. But then they were like, what about the phone number? That wasn't in the paper. And he was like, I can't give you any explanation about the telephone number. He was just like, I don't know.

His lawyer was like, well, shit, we should have planned for that question, I guess. As for the hand-drawn sketch of the latter, he claimed the notebook of sketches were created by a child who had drawn in the notebook before whatever that means whatever that means his wife anna defended her husband on the stand but under cross-examination she admitted that despite having hung her apron on a hook above the top shelf every single day she did not remember ever seeing a shoebox there where he said he had left it for a long time so that's she was like well can't explain that one i never saw a shoebox additionally despite hautman's accusations that fish had been involved in the murder it was proven that he actually couldn't have been at the scene of the crime because he was dying of tuberculosis in germany oh he had no money to pay for his

medical bills and his landlady testified that he could barely afford his three dollar fifty per week room so it wouldn't make sense that he had stolen tens of thousands of dollars and then left it behind and died penniless in germany it was just like why would he have left all of this behind right all right the trial took six weeks and hauptman proclaimed his innocence throughout but on february 13th 1935 the jury handed down the verdict guilty as charged with a sentence of death gotcha while waiting in jail prosecutors offered to save his life in exchange for life in prison if he gave up his accomplices but he didn't budge continuing to proclaim his innocence hautman was executed by electric chair but it wouldn't be the first time someone on death row has been uh executed uh and

sure i don't know if you're following rodney reed and by the time this comes out i don't know what has happened in that scenario but um that's just one fingers crossed one very good example so uh to her credit hautman's wife anna continued to fight to clear her husband's name till her dying day in 1994 at the age of 95 so she spent her whole life trying to clear her husband's name wow because he refused to save his own life in exchange for admitting to the crime people started to wonder whether he was as guilty as he'd been made out to be some reporters and independent investigators began to question the way the investigation was handled and the fairness of the trial as well as potential

witness tampering and even maybe the planting of evidence considering this was one of the biggest cases of the century um it's no surprise that like all these individual investigators like armchair detectives developed their own theories as to what happened some were a lot more controversial than others we'll get to that shortly um so this brings us back to nova we're back to nova don't worry i know you missed it um so john douglas uh douglas is convinced to be clear douglas does think hautman is guilty okay but he does not think he acted alone so his first focus is the ransom money looking back hautman was in possession of approximately one-third of the ransom money so that's kind of odd if he had acted alone it would be weird that he had like perfectly the amount of one-third of the money in his garage

sure do you know what i mean no i hear you yeah but is there no way that in those two and a half years he could have spent two-thirds of it well it would be like the equivalent of like a million dollars because it was like 1.5 million total so like there was no and he didn't have anything he had any luxurious gotcha you know what i mean like he lived kind of on the dl i think gotcha that is a good point yeah but he would have had to spend yeah like i promise i couldn't find a way to spend a million dollars no me too but i think they would have found out what it was right like in in the trial like there was no proof that he had spent it on anything so that's the that's the weird part yeah but it would obviously make more sense if he had split the money three ways um going off that douglas

explains he has seen many cases like this throughout his career how sad is that i guess but right right right he says typically in a case like this offenders need multiple people to psychologically build each other up and feed off of each other to perpetrate such an intense crime uh it would be too risky to do alone for example you need someone to hold the ladder and someone has to do surveillance there's just a lot of risk involved for one person to act alone and pull this off but then okay so then why was no one else ever indicted or even looked at um so there's this guy that they interviewed named mark falzini and he works as a museum archivist at the new jersey state police museum and he believes it's because the trial

was so intense this was such a high profile case lindbergh was arguably the most famous man in america and after two and a half years the pressure to close the case was so enormous they just wanted to point the finger say he did it execute him done case closed rather than drag it on and try to figure out if anyone else was involved they're like we got our guy one and done that's what he believes um and then douglas asks this guy falzini the archivist did a man named john noel ever come up in connection with the case and falzini's like no that name never came up why and douglas is like well that's a lead i want to explore okay how did he even get this name me too i shall tell you this is wild so there's this man one of these like i was telling you individual investigators armchair detectives whatever you want to call them his name is bob

zorn he reached out to john douglas and said hey i have this lead i want you to like tell me if this makes any sense he says my dad gene zorn read an article about the lindbergh kidnapping as an adult and it triggered this childhood memory that he had suppressed and he thinks that he knows what happened oh so bob explains that when his dad gene was 15 in the summer of 1931 he lived in a german neighborhood in the south bronx and had a neighbor neighbor named john knoll a german immigrant and deli clerk who encouraged gene to take up stamp collecting that doesn't sound too bad so i know i know it comes it comes up later so the two became close and one day in the summer of 1931 john invited gene to the fair at the fair uh they met up with

john knoll's younger brother walter as well as a mysterious third German man whom they called Bruno. Gene kind of hung around the fair while the three men were talking. John and Bruno began to discuss a place called Englewood and Gene didn't think much of it at the time. Fast forward to December of 1963. His dad, Gene, is a 47-year-old bank economist living in Dallas, like, minding his own business.

He reaches for a magazine at the barber shop when he finds an article about the lindbergh kidnapping decades before so his blood runs cold he says when certain words begin to jump out of out at him first he sees the name bruno which is what john the deli clerk called his german speaking friend right turns out bruno is richard hautman's real name, his first name. Oh. His name is Bruno Richard Hauptman, and that wasn't a thing that was really publicized. So that's interesting. Then he sees Englewood, and he's like, that's so weird.

They were talking about Englewood, too. Turns out Englewood is the New Jersey town where the Lindberghs spent most of their week, where Anne's family had their estate, and where they were supposed to be that Tuesday when they were actually at the at their other home um the article goes on to describe the theory that hauptman was guilty like john douglas thinks but that he had worked with accomplices one of whom they believed went by the name of john because that was the name given in the bronx cemetery by cemetery john who said call me john well guess what gene immediately put two and two together and was like well my childhood mentor stamp collector was named john knoll he's like

could john knoll be cemetery john and they were discussing their plans or what had happened that day at the fair goose cam goose cam oh my gosh it's just so bananas um after gene's death his son bob took over the quest to link john to the crime so he contacted john douglas to be like does this hold any weight at all so could john noel be cemetery john well in photos of john noel which they showed he appears to be about five foot seven with a tall forehead and a large abnormality on his left thumb like really you can see it it's like very misshapen like very large wow yeah um so that's pretty odd then there's this police sketch and the similarities are almost chilling like they look hardcore goose cam when i saw this they look

almost identical the sketch and the photograph um so it could have been uh john knoll but at the same time any search through the, through Houtman's network at the time, never brought up that name. Like there never seemed to be a friend named that, uh, unless they were just really good at hiding it, I guess. But it sounds like it was probably him. I mean, it could be. I mean, I've set my sights on that.

Well, sure. Personally. So, I mean, it could be, there was no, um no John Knoll ever associated, but it could have been. Additionally, while it is a weird coincidence that Knoll called his compatriot Bruno, Richard Houtman actually never went by the name, even though that was like his real name. Even back in Germany, there's a school book from first grade and he only ever wrote Richard, not Bruno. So it's possible like maybe he was using that as like a alias

alias maybe it's not very good alias um but it's my legal name yeah just the one that's like on all the paperwork right right right but it also throws kind of a wrench into the theory because it's like his buddies wouldn't be calling him bruno but who's to say so and obviously john is a very common name too so it's it's just hard to know whether that it's all very circumstantial so douglas is like well let's put that theory on hold for now um there's a much more controversial theory there's this man named lloyd gardner he's a historian at ruckers who authored a controversial book called the lindbergh kidnapping which proposes the theory that charles lindbergh himself was involved in coordinating his own son's

kidnapping so evidence pointing to this theory includes the fact that lindbergh was extremely controlling of the investigation using his influence to steer police even keeping the ransom notes a secret like he was just very intense about but at the same time you're like well your child's missing of course you're going gonna be controlling and right i mean there's no way i wouldn't be yeah exactly um but at the same time like why on earth would he have done something so horrific to his own child well gardner explains that lindbergh was actually very involved in the eugenics movement aka really yes and that part unfortunately is true that i did not know yeah uh he's part of the eugenics movement he was part of the eugenics movement aka the selective breeding of the smartest and strongest

quote-unquote people to create a superior race quote-unquote and sterilizing those who are not physically and or mentally up to what they consider to be part i see i see yes and there were rumors that charlie had physical limitations. Including doctor's notes that indicated that his fontanelle, or like the soft spot, had not closed up, which is supposed to close by age one or two months, but by 20 months had still not fully fused. So that was an indication that maybe something wasn't totally right. Additionally, he struggled to stand, and he was diagnosed with what appeared to be a mild form of rickets, which is caused by a vitamin D deficiency. So like that maybe goes hand in hand.

Like maybe he just wasn't living up to standards that his father had. I mean, he's definitely not the healthiest. Right. But even mild rickets, like it doesn't impair you that much. Yeah. I mean, my mom had rickets as a kid. I don't know. So Gardner does not believe Lindbergbergh wanted his son killed to be clear so gardner says he believes the plan was to get him out of the house and into an institution

which to be fair was not unusual at the time for families to put maybe they're like the ones they were less proud of like away send them away you know um he believes maybe or have something eat their eyes out or there's some eggs out in the back right you're not first you're last that's true um yeah he believes lindbergh told the kidnappers they would be in town that evening and where the window was and everything and uh he believes the kidnapping was botched that maybe charlie had been dropped from the window uh that maybe he was killed intentionally by the kidnappers who had kind of taken over the plan um but he doesn't

believe that lindbergh wanted him killed he believes he maybe wanted him just taken away uh so much better at the very least yeah i mean at least he would survive right um after the kidnapping and death of charlie lindbergh and annie moved to germany for three years and this is where he embraces the ideals of the nazi party and they embrace him back so good yeah not so much an american hero anymore no by the 1950s he's back in germany and this is where shit just gets wild like i had no idea about i feel like maybe I read about it once, but I didn't connect it. So he assumes an identity called Karukent in 1958 and secretly fathers seven children with three different German women. He swore the families to secrecy and died in 1974,

hoping his double life would remain hidden. But in 2003, some of his German children revealed the truth after DNA testing proved they were lindbergh's children what i know so he none of this i knew i know he fathered all these children in germany and tried to keep them a secret and gardner believed this kind of goes hand in hand with this experimenting of eugenics and trying to like spread your seed that's a big part of it and i see thinking you're a perfect specimen and you need to spread to you know populate the earth with your vomitous vomitous race um it's horrible oh my god so anyway while the eugenics

stuff is factually accurate like it's all true um douglas still doesn't believe like lindbergh murdered his own son he's just like i don't think that something must have happened he just doesn't think he was involved so he says he's you know profiling lindbergh he believes the man was too controlling to give up a plan to some kidnappers like he's like i don't think he would have trusted some outsiders to like do this he was too controlling for that to depend on other people to get it done he needed control in every aspect of his life which is why he took such a hold on this investigation but then who supplied this information that the family would be in their part-time home on a tuesday evening the wife well remember not the wife but violet sharp the the servant who took her own life with oh right right right right so douglas believes she was the one who revealed

the information but he doesn't think it was necessarily malicious. He believes she may have inadvertently handed out the info when someone called asking questions like, oh, where are they? Oh, they're not here tonight. They're at the other home. Gotcha. And then the guilt of, you know, not knowing this person had nefarious plans. And then maybe the guilt drove her to take her own life. Sure.

Because she just thought, like, I was involved and she couldn't handle it which i mean i can't imagine that guilt too of like you know if they find out you're the one that told them yeah no i can't imagine it either so then obviously back to cemetery john who's cemetery john well douglas believes bob zorn could be right that john noel is cemetery john after all because when you look at noel's behavior after the murder there's some red flags so first off he seems to have suddenly come into a large amount of money after the crime bob explains that he became very generous to bob's father gene in terms of his stamp collection he started giving him extremely valuable stamps to add which like and she's like where are you getting these like very expensive stamps um what's more three weeks before Hauptmann goes on trial, so before the German Hauptmann guy goes on trial, what's his name?

Cemetery John. John Knoll. He and his wife just peace out of the United States. They're like, bye. They sail round trip to Hamburg on a $700 first class ticket each. Wow. $700 each. on a $700 first class ticket each. Wow. $700 each. Today is the equivalent of, oh, sorry, which I don't know what the equivalent is, but at the time it was the equivalent of six years of his rent.

Holy shit. Six years of rent. And he and his wife each bought first class tickets. Oh my God. Yeah. So obviously that's like, okay, well. I don't even know how to figure out six years of my rent. I know I can. I'm trying to do it on the spot. And it's so much money for one trip. Right. And so then it's actually interesting because then Noel and his wife didn't return to the U.S. until the day Houtman was convicted and sentenced to death. And that day he's like, OK, I'm coming back now. How convenient. I feel safe again. Yeah, right. OK. All eyes are off me.

I feel safe again. Yeah, right. Okay. All eyes are off me. So Douglas knows there's not enough evidence to fully convict Noel, especially now, but he believes he should at least remain a primary suspect. And so while the Lindbergh tragedy led to heartbreak in the U.S., it also led to the Lindbergh law, which was passed by Congress the day after the kidnapping, before they even knew the baby had died.

And it officially made kidnapping a federal crime, which it remains to this day. So at least thanks Herbert Hoover for that. Yes. FBI profiler John Douglas says he's still haunted by the ones that got away. In this case, he believes that Hauptman did not act alone. He's confident that he was that Hauptman was guilty, but he also believes that at least one person, whether it was John Knoll or someone else, got away with murder. Wow. And that's the story of the lindbergh kidnapping

sorry i feel like i rushed through that but no that was it was a long one but um we both had long ones so we hope that you wanted to listen to something long on your holidays i mean nobody's forcing you i hope that like you're not mad and just still listening to this maybe you like listening in chunks i'm glad we gave you lots of chunks it's actually not that long we're at two hours which like oh okay i feel like we've been here for a million, bajillion years. But no, that was a great story. Thank you.

Yeah. Terrible. It's terrible, right. But I was really interested because I didn't... I thought the babies survived. Clearly, I was like so wrong that it wasn't even funny. Like I was just on the completely other side. So thank you, Nova, for correcting that for me.

And thank you all for listening. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. We hope you're all having a happy turkey day. Yes, that's right. Happy Thanksgiving. for correcting that for me um and thank you all for listening yeah thank you thank you we hope you're all having a happy turkey day yes that's right happy thanksgiving and um if you uh want to join our patreon we're gonna give you some tickets right after oh yeah don't forget cyber monday coming up real quick cyber monday yeah so like immediately december 2nd um get ready for

that so join patreon and we will send that code out to you if you join by December 2nd. On the 4th is the regular pre-sales. You can follow our social media. And on the 6th is everybody else who wants a ticket. Go for it. And we're going to obviously be releasing cities and dates soon. So that's exciting. And everything at the same time.

So if they're, for some reason, if the city is not on the list, then that doesn't mean we're not going to go there in the future, but not for this tour. Yeah. then that doesn't mean we're not going to go there in the future, but not for this tour. Yeah. Unfortunately, we're not adding any more dates because it was just too much less time to do them all individually. We want to make sure you guys know ahead of time where we're going to be. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, thanks for listening. We can't wait to see you in 2020. And I mean, we'll be back here next week, so you'll see us again. But yes, unfortunately, we'll be back in your ears after thanksgiving and many thanksgivings after that and that's why we eat turkey yay i was hoping you'd say that and that's why we gobble unless you're a vegetarian then eat some stuffing with me okay bye