And That's Why We Drink - E197 Satan's Sourdough Starter and a Fainting Couch

Episode Date: November 15, 2020

It's episode 197 and we're here to tell you, we don't know that goat and we've never seen that lizard before in our lives! Although we might have started an avalanche by turning ourselves into wolves, because this week Em brings us the second part in their two-part series on the history and trials of werewolves. Then Christine covers the tragic death by exposure of Saskatoon Saulteaux First Nations teen Neil Stonechild and the wildly racist practice of starlight tours by local police. Lastly, we offer our apologies but we mean full offense to medieval pamphlet writers... and that's why we drink! Please consider supporting the companies that support us! You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and using promo code DRINK. New customers will get twenty-percent off plus FREE shipping on EVERY order. This is their best offer available anywhere.Don’t spend a minute of your holiday season at the Post Office this year. Sign up for Stamps.com instead. There’s NO risk. With our promo code, DRINK, you get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in DRINK.Give the gift of Native by going to NativeDeo.com/drink, or use promo code drink at checkout, and get 20% off your first order.Brooklinen is the home essentials company offering premium sheets, bedding, towels and much more without the luxury level markups. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code drink to get 10% off your first order and free shipping.

howdy hello wow remember last episode when we said we had no idea what the world was going to look like uh next time we recorded well now we know we know as of five minutes ago everything's coming up daisies right now my My heart is racing really fast. And I was like, wait, should I have to get on zoom and like talk to him right now? Also, we like when we say we now know the results, what we mean is last time we talked to you, we were like, we have no idea because election day is about to happen. And now we just found out at least I just found out five minutes ago. So like this is happening in real time as everyone's finding out what the results were yeah blaze told me like an hour ago about ap

announcing it and I are calling it and I was like okay but nobody's tweeting about it yet so I don't want to like commit to my emotional state you know um but then five minutes ago like all the news came to my phone at once and I was like okay we can all just like tweet about it now I was I was like getting ready to record or I was driving over to the studio and I was like I'm not even gonna check my phone this morning because the last three mornings I've just been so disappointed wondering when I'm gonna find out and the second the day I decided not to check was when I was like I'm just gonna like what time? What time am I at? And all these texts are coming in. So very exciting. I'm, I have been Yeah, not sleeping. It's just been a rough. I mean, everyone else knows it too. It's been a rough week. And I feel like a lot of things just went put on hold. I mean, that's probably just not for everybody, obviously. But I feel like for us,

I'd agree. I would agree. Things just were kind of quiet on the work end. And I just feel like John King from CNN was just like playing through my dreams constantly. It was just, oh my goodness. Just sitting in wait to figure out what my fate was. So, and I was just saying how like, I'm truly the most impatient person I've ever met.

And I'm like, is this a year trying to like teach me something? Cause it's, I can't promise I'll learn it, but I get it. I get the hit. It's been a long, a long week. i'm very happy uh

i assume you were also very happy actually i'm pissed um uh-huh yeah yeah have we never discussed our political views my favorite is when people we literally just posted like go vote and everyone was like your veiled political opinion first of all i was like we just said go vote okay yeah second of all i'm like it's not veiled we're pretty fucking clear not even we said register to vote we said register it was registered to vote go register to vote, I was like, we just said go vote. Okay. Second of all, I'm like, it's not veiled. We're pretty fucking clear. Not even. We said register to vote. We said register. It was register to vote.

Go register to vote. And everyone was like, know your place. You're to entertain us. Okay. Yeah. This one woman literally said, sit down. And I was, this is your job to entertain me. And I went, woof.

Okay. There's a lot of problems with that. Please just, please don't listen to us anymore. Okay. Anyway, it's not veiled. I feel like a little tiny gleam of hope has entered the room. Yeah, we're on the side of like more human rights. So I hope that doesn't upset you.

If it does, good for you. You can go see my tweet and it applies to you as well. Exactly. Which just says bye bitch. Anyway, I also have a new update that you already know, but that's a big news big news big news what is it there is a new furry member of the and that's why we drink family finally we can talk about it oh my gosh wait do i as do i get to meet them well so he's kind of running around the house okay we got another kitten everybody and he's very sweet and the it was a very quick decision. It

wasn't like I've been, you know, I don't make make long decisions. I was gonna say I thought you were about to say I don't make quick decisions. I was like, you're such a liar. It's so bad. Like I'm, as I said, I'm very impatient. And so Blaze and I went on that like murder cabin trip, remember for our anniversary. And while we were there to start, okay. Yeah. That's how most of my decisions start. And Blaze and I went on that like murder cabin trip, remember, for our anniversary. And while we were there. That's a great way to start. Okay. Yeah. That's how most of my decisions start. And Blaze and I were there and my mom and sister were watching Juniper. And I was just like, he seems like my mom was like, yeah, he's kind of like moping around.

And I was like, we should get him a little friend or somebody so that when we leave town with Gio or put Gio in daycare, like he has another cat friend. I mean, now Juniper saying I did not ask for this sure well you know what it's it's his turn because Gio certainly said I did not ask for this when Juniper got there so that's exactly we're just it's a full circle now but also you I know I don't mean to cut you off but I know you have been telling me literally since you got Juniper that Blaze was like kind of hinting that he wanted another cat. So yeah, he wanted another dog. So I compromised and I was like,

that's a lot of a lot right now. And not that cats aren't a lot, but yeah, you're right. Like he wanted. And so the second I decided it and I was like, let's do it now. He was like,

okay. He actually literally just texted me and said this. So he has a cold. The cat or Blaze? The cat. The cat. Okay. So he's bringing it. so he sniffles a lot but he's bringing him up for in case you want to see him i do but yeah so basically his name is mooney and

the reason is that we wanted a kentucky name okay by the way i live in northern kentucky also surprise except not really not really which is five minutes from cincinnati so technically you are walking distance from cincinnati yeah from downtown so people got very confused as if i moved again whatever so we wanted a kentucky name so we decided to name him moonshine mooney for short then we realized it rhymed with junie then we were like i guess it's stuck now and then we found out that the cat's name was serious uh like serious blackius Black. So it's another Harry Potter name. So anyway, he's very sweet. He has a cold. They found him behind a dumpster at a bar, which, as Em said, seems pretty fitting on both counts for me. And he had a little cold. He didn't have a mommy or any siblings. And he was just there by himself. And he was really sick and was

covered in fleas and was missing his fur. So of course, I read this and I was really sick and was like covered in fleas and like was missing his fur so of course i read this and i was like this is my cat i need to save him so you so it's mooney and junie mooney and junie is that on purpose and he's uh no it wasn't because we said moonshine and then i was like oh god they rhyme um and he's all black okay hold on here he is also hi blaze he can't hear me but okay hold on here he is also hi blaze he can't hear me but okay oh he's so itty bitty put on my headphones oh oh oh okay here he is an anxious little one he's just very squirrely. Look at the little baby. He's all black, so... Okay. He's really chaotic, and he likes to climb things,

and he and Gio are currently kissing. Aw. The exact invert of Junie. Just like... Truly. Just like if you did a color, like, complete invert on the computer. Once the kitty's bigger, they're going to look like complete opposites. But anyway, so he has sniffles, so he's probably just gonna run around here but anyway sorry that's my that's my news of the of the day um i was nervous i was gonna say we have

a new member of the family but then i remembered that when we did this when i moved and you were like we have huge news and then we didn't say it for like 15 minutes and people had like that was on me i pulled a michael scott on everyone but you know what i don't i don't regret it either because we both know i'm theatric as fuck so yeah we needed everyone to turn up the volume and not skip ahead um yeah i needed it i did it for the dramatic flair and you know what i worked i stand by it so yeah yeah anyway welcome i am a little upset because we allison and I, had narrowed our hypothetical dog names down to Moon Pie. Oh, I forgot about that.

Well, that still works. Moonshine and Moon Pie. That would be cute. Okay, wait a minute. Okay. We didn't plan that. But maybe we should pretend like we did. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to steal your name. I just, I didn't even think about that. It's fine. No, no, no. We're going to, we're going to tell everyone who's listening to this right now, you didn't even think about that it's no no we're gonna we're gonna tell everyone who's listening to this right now you didn't hear this conversation later when we say we plan this on purpose you're gonna smile and nod yes um and it was m's inspiration let's let's say that sure i'm not gonna bye moony oh and high blaze also and also high blaze anyway sorry for that chaos um

i only have one more thing. Do you have anything else to say? No. I don't want to keep... Is the thing that you're going to say the thing that we're both announcing? Oh, no. Do you want to say that one first? Sure.

So we have found our way back to Cameo. We can't stay away. For a long time. So people for a long time have been asking why we left cameo or how come we're no longer you know why we weren't offering videos and it has been just a logistical issue on our end where because we are christine and i are now in a long distance relationship and yep yep we wanted you know to do cameo together as one unit and so we could only make cameo videos whenever christine was in town but cameo on our end if let's say you request one from us we only

have seven days to fulfill it yes so sometimes christine wasn't going to be here for a whole month and so it just it was never it was weird like do we turn it off except for the one week where christine's in town and so it was just kind of confusing but we've been talking to the Cameo people and we are now going to have separate Cameo accounts just to make things more accessible to you even though we won't be quote a package deal in your video at least now you will have access to videos from us to one or both of us yeah yeah we did it that way because people were you know saying like hey we want like a message for so and so's birthday or you know whatever what whatever uh and so now i guess our podcast page is going to link to both of our separate accounts which

i mean obviously it looks like we broke up and we like created separate accounts but we didn't maybe we just do like like veiled insults on each other on our cameo of like her and her fun her and her cats and then me and my theatrics actually that would be really fun yeah so we apologize i know like most people obviously would want it you know and we would want it prefer it together but um it just wasn't feasible but we are you know brainstorming so hopefully we can figure something out. Yeah. We've thought of ways of like, what if I, what if we FaceTime like, and then like upload

it, but that didn't work out. We tried that. Yeah. But then I had to like go on, I had to like download Premiere and like resize the video. It was just every video took like an hour to edit. So it just got really wild. So this is unfortunately uh the only way we can do it but fortunate enough that we can do it at all so yes exactly so that's that and then

um the last thing i wanted to say which actually this is sent in by a listener and it just like warmed my soul and speaking of you know a new kitty um this is an email from justin who uh i might cry i'm sorry this just makes me very emotional um okay oh where's the they're there calm down they're there it's fine joe biden's president joe biden's president oh that's weird president elect technically but close what um i don't know where the page went. Oh, I'm just going to read this part. So Justin wrote in and said, that's why I drink long-time listeners, semi-recent

Patreon donor, and first-time writing. I have a resource to share with you because I've appreciated how you've given listeners access to safety resources when you tell particularly relevant stories. Domestic violence comes up a lot with true crime and I know you've seen before that animals are not excluded from this equation.

I thought you might like to know that there are services for animal survivors of domestic violence as well. He says, I work for him. I think it's called a hymns, a house or a hymns, a house, which is a nonprofit based in Georgia that provides assistance for animal

survivors of domestic violence. There's lots of programs across the country as well as internationally a lot of time people don't realize that only around 12 percent of domestic violence shelters are able to help house pets but over 60 percent of u.s households have pets um so 50 percent of victims will delay seeking safety due to fear for the safety of their pet which it's just something like you don't even think about necessarily but then all of a sudden it's like holy shit of course like you wouldn't even like if the animal isn't i mean this is kind of a sidestep but even if the animals aren't being uh mistreated but if you're being mistreated but they're going to keep your the pet from you oh that yeah that's for the

pet right yeah that's what they're saying like if you're not sure where the pet you know where your pet's going to go or if you're not able to take your pet to the shelter then obviously like you're gonna not want to leave them behind right exactly so that's that's true like not even necessarily if you know the pet is being abused but if if you have to leave the pet behind to seek safety right um so that's i just thought that was really cool and he said everyone is affected when there's domestic violence including the pets as an animal lover i thought you might appreciate knowing that survivors can find info about local pet-friendly domestic violence shelters and resources through safeplaceforpets.org. So, and there's Gia's bark. With a little signature of approval there.

Yeah, exactly. So I thought that was really cool. And he says over 90% of the pets we assist are able to go back home with their families at the end of their time with us um so i just thank you justin um thank you oh shit i wish i had looked up how to say ahimsa or ahimsa house h a h i m s a um and that was just really touching and uh he also included a story that i meant to print but it's it's kind of long so i'll probably just leave it at that but he printed a story of like a case, you know, where a woman was, had this situation happen, and they were able to foster the dog and the her abuser was trying to get custody of the dog. And since the dog was microchipped under his name, it was really difficult for her to say like,

no, I want to take, you know, my my dog so they worked really hard to like give her resources and legal aid and like you know she was able to get full custody of her dog back and so it was just really touching story so and it's something you know don't really think about um also i've certainly never thought about like you know the legalities of like whose name is on the microchip for custody cases that's isn't that wild specific thing but yeah wow yeah so thank you justin i know thanks justin that was really uh cool and i'm just appreciative that you reached out and let me share that on the podcast so yeah good resource to have lots of announcements today huh god they're endless truly my goodness okay well

shall we that's it that's it on my end i'm done like just you know throwing up words all over you i love your mug tell everyone about that i keep meaning to mention that too this i like how i just said i'm done talking here's my mug there's paper on the bottom of it this is my mothman mug from m it's a little pastel mothman moth people i i don't know all i know is i saw it i i'm sure i saw it on red bubble that's where i get most of your moth men moth people i i don't know all i know is i saw it i i'm sure i saw it on red bubble that's where i get most of your mothman stuff and i think this is a um a look human purchase oh you're right it is look human because the design i've seen on there and every time i see it i'm like should i buy more of the mothman design um i think i saw that and i screamed i was

like there's literally nothing i've ever seen that's more Christine in my entire life. It's so cute. What's funny is, I think we probably have mentioned this before on the show, but Christine, Eva, and I have all many times said, like, we cannot buy any more mugs. Like, this is just, it's disgusting. It's a rule. When you add up all the mugs that we have combined, we have enough for the entire nation, I'm sure.

And then every Christmas or birthday, I'm like, they need a fucking mug. Yeah. Actually, this particular birthday, you gave me two mugs at one time. And I was like, you not only broke the rule by accident, you broke the rule and then went, well, sorry. No, it's OK. No worries. But no, I saw saw you're correct i saw one

uh mug and then i was like huh and then i saw two mugs and i was like well i know the rule but i'm gonna quickly step right over you already you're very it was very like emma christine move you already crossed the line so you were like i might as well go like as hard as i can i want to see how tiny i can make it on the other side i just want to walk as far away as possible what was the other mug i'm trying to remember it's somewhere i. I think it's I'm trying to remember. It's one of the mugs. It's like to put you on the spot. No, no, it's I think it's another like cryptid type mug. I think it was like, but also from look human. Who cares? It was probably unnecessary, but also I just wildly essential, wildly essential. And look, I use it. So it's a

Mothman mug. It's excellent. It's my my favorite thing if you'd like to look like christine when you drink your coffee go to look human uh this they did not pay us to uh shout them out but they are the first place i look for gifts for christine so they have some great stuff okay so uh this is part two today of werewolves on my end. Um, I, at the end of the last episode, I gave you a smattering, if you will, which is just a word I either love or hate. Can't figure out.

Yeah. Um, a smattering of werewolf, uh, stories specifically from the age of the werewolf trials. Um, just to kind of, you know,

tease you into this week. So let me now tell you what the werewolf trials were. Fantastic. So the werewolf trials, just to kind of, you know, tease you into this week. So let me now tell you what the werewolf trials were. Fantastic. So the werewolf trials, they occurred throughout Europe from the 15th to the 18th century. And it was people were on trial, they're being accused of that word, I don't know if I pronounced lycanthropy. Yes. So I just heard an episode of lore where he talked about that a little bit. Oh, perfect. Is it pronounced lycanthropy? And he said lycanthropy yes so i just heard an episode of lore where he talked about that a little bit oh perfect is it pronounced like and he said lycanthropy yes excellent well i'm gonna trust lore um so yeah they're being accused of lycanthropy which is turning into a werewolf

um and at least in this sense i think now in like more modern psychology there's clinical lycanthropy which is more of a delusion of turning into a werewolf, not actually shape-shifting into one. I think. Depending on who you ask, I guess. If you ask me, I'm going to say turning into a werewolf is very valid. I agree.

So, yeah. So that's what they were being accused for. This started originally in Switzerland, but it then moved into mainly France and Germany and the Balkans. And so peasants at the time were still practicing a lot of paganism throughout Europe. And I guess they were regularly being accused of casting spells on other people.

So if something wasn't going your way, you could blame the peasants for casting a spell on you because one of them practiced witchcraft in your town yeah i mean i still do that to this day right exactly we're at it again there they are gosh can't get it can't get them away from me so the authorities uh throughout europe were becoming more god-fearing throughout this period. And so they were interpreting any potential witchcraft as, or any spell casting or any pagan acts as like satanic witchcraft, which were, and they were put to death. So it's very similar to the witch trials.

Actually, there's one reference to werewolves in a book called Witchcraft, Lycanthropy drugs and disease an anthropological study of the european witch hunt oh my did you read the whole book the whole thing can you i did it in like five minutes too which is the craziest part that's incredible uh here's my favorite excerpt of the many pages i absolutely read. Here's a quote. A woman in Switzerland was beheaded in 1459 for turning herself into a wolf and causing an avalanche while in the company of the devil. What?

That's a lot for one sentence. That's a lot. I think that was actually one of the very first occurrences of werewolves during these trials. Wow. Let me just say it again a woman in switzerland was beheaded in 1459 for turning herself into a wolf thus causing an avalanche i don't understand the relation there um and obviously the devil was by her side the whole time so obviously uh so that's just like one little quip of what people were dealing

with back then oh my god uh so the trials were fueled for um like anything so it could be politics it could be like a complete like negligence to mental illness it could be you just didn't like the person um or like the fear of the devil so and for any reason you could like accuse someone of either being a witch or a werewolf right um it could have also been drugs apparently in 1545 the pope's physicians they tested this ointment which you're going to hear about this ointment a lot apparently a lot of people said that they were becoming werewolves because of this ointment that they were given oh no and so the pope's physicians tested this ointment and uh later on it was found out that it did create the sensation of flying or growing fur so do we know what was in it i don't know i don't even know what it was called everyone just said said this ointment. So the Pope's physicians tested in 1545, but they didn't actually come out and like say the results for almost 100 years.

Oh, oh, so they were just like, we're holding on to this little secret. I don't know if they were holding on. I don't know if they never knew or like they put it on the back burner and then like tested it 100 years later. Oh, I see. Wasn't necessary. put it on the back burner and then like tested it a hundred years later. Oh, I see.

Wasn't necessary. I don't really understand, but a hundred years later it was confirmed that this ointment was like causing delusions or hallucinations. Maybe they just wanted to keep going with the idea that werewolves, like werewolves were real and they didn't want to like, they were like, Oh, it's this ointment.

They were like, no, no, no, this is too juicy. We can't, we can't turn this down. I bet.

I mean, it makes sense. It makes sense to me. I obviously, if I were in charge of a country and people thought that they could turn into mythical creatures, that's the story I'm going to run with. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, no, no, no.

We don't need science to back that one up. Especially if you have the power. Although I also wonder what if the physicians tested it and then they were like, I'm a werewolf and then they were like, well, shit, now we can't like say, hey, we became werewolves. Oh my God. Actually, that's genius. Or what if they really believed in there? Like, well, we don't want people thinking the ointment caused this.

Yeah. Also that. Yeah. A lot of options here. A lot of drama. I love it. Someone write like a spec script on that of like physicians in the 1500s testing out their own ointment and becoming werewolves.

That's excellent. That's excellent. Content right there. That's a little history a little action a little mystique sci-fi oh my god oh my gosh it could definitely be on the siffy network ask my father um okay so the church's official stance uh in the 15th century about this was that werewolves were bad because they were pagan so it wasn't necessarily that they didn't appreciate werewolves it was because it was not christian got it that was basically it that makes sense

so you can't be gay can't be werewolf you get it i mean i mean those are the two only the two things that i want you know that the bible is actually only one sentence and jesus said you can't be gay or werewolf except he also read with the werewolves in five seconds that's true let's see there's a lot of hypocrisy and that's that's it that's the hypocrisy yep you got it so uh many of the oh so that i was saying that uh they didn't like it because it was pagan but by the end of these werewolf trials it wasn't necessarily because they didn't it wasn't necessarily that they didn't like werewolves because it was pagan they didn't like werewolves at this point because they were in league with satan and so it had really morphed into like

it's a completely anti-christian it was like we don't like it because it doesn't work with our beliefs and over a hundred years or so it was like oh no no like this is the devil so they're like active enemies now yeah so the story had had grown into something a little worse um many of the werewolves who were sentenced were put to death also for witchcraft just because they seem to go perfectly hand in hand um and in 1608 king henry the fourth of france actually commissioned a french judge to wipe out quote witchcraft werewolfry and heresy all at the same time oh my okay so it's it wasn't just like this little thing that was you know hidden news people were like actually super scared of werewolves and i mean also they were scared of witches too so for the king to literally find a judge to be like

sentence all of them to death you know it's pretty intense yeah um so the judge that he hired was named pierre de long uh and he was a witch hunter again hired by the king and apparently he was real fucking merciless. So no one was safe. He would torture people, men, women, children, priests, even if priests were accused of it. This guy was like, I'm not about it. I will find a way to extract the information from you. So he also like a lot of confessions were done in duress. Oh, my God.

So very much like the witch trials where like people were saying they were a witch just to get out of torture and then like it backfired and they ends up getting executed. Cause like you don't, yeah. It's just like a lose-lose situation. Yeah.

And so his quote work, if we want to call it that, resulted in the execution of 600 people. What? In just three years oh my god what were they i mean i swear to god they're just like back then running around like they were just like you're a werewolf you're a werewolf you're a witch you're both you're both um so during fine during his apparently quote quote, torture sessions, he would ask his victims about their carnal encounters with demons.

Oh, gross. And confessions, like I just said, often came after long bouts of questioning that were definitely involved with torture. And his methods were so brutal that he was actually removed from his position as a judge. And the remaining trials were dismissed. was actually removed from his position as a judge and the remaining trials were dismissed because i my guess is they were like wow we've probably executed a lot of people that this guy just decided was a werewolf yeah like maybe we should just halt this all together at a certain point they were probably like uh i know we're probably in danger for our lives if we fire him but also like it's not worth it like exactly gotta go so actually according to that judge

before he uh got his position taken away from him any moral slight was uh worthy of being clocked as witchcraft or werewolfry which i didn't learn was a word until this. But so I think they realized like, oh, he's really just accusing and killing everybody. Yeah. Because these were things that warranted you to be under investigation. Right. Quote, to dance indecently,

to eat excessively. My ass would be D-E-A-D. Yeah, we're screwed. To make love diabolically okay oh dear yeah see this is all very subjective uh-huh also how is he is he a fly on the wall how does he know how you're doing he was doing that torture asking about demon sex so i guess maybe he was just like pervy and was like i need more details not shocked at all if that was the case. No. To commit atrocious acts of sodomy. Okay, so he was homophobic.

Wow. Okay, that just jumped a lot of levels. Yeah. Yeah. Blasphemous. To be blasphemous or scandalous. To avenge themselves insidiously. To run after all horrible, dirty, and crudely unnatural desires.

Definitely homophobic. Yeah. To keep toads, vipers, lizards, and all sorts of poison as precious things. So if you're a biology major, sorry. Or if you just have like a pet Komodo dragon. If you have a little Komodo dragon. Oh, no. Or if you love passionately a goat and caress him lovingly.

Oh, dear. So if you're a farmer farmer you're also in trouble so yeah if you're a little too lovey with that goat i don't think oh if you're if you're too lovey yes but if you uh may i would be nervous if i just had a goat at this time in my life that's true yeah i'd be like i don't know him i don't know him i don't know that iguana and i don't know that goat sorry Sorry to tell you. I've never seen that lizard in my life. I hate to say it. I don't know.

I don't mean to sound ridiculous. I don't know this lizard at all. He could walk down the street. Okay. So anyway, that's the history. And now the rest of these are just little stories from that time. So, okay. So I'm doing them um chronological order just to give myself some routine in this so uh this one is from this one's called the gandilan or gandian werewolves

uh it was a girl and her 15 year old brother uh they were both attacked by a wolf the brother's name was benoit um benoit saw a wolf attacking his sister, so he ran over and tried to stab it to death. The crowd chased the wolf away, and the girl died at the scene, and Benoit died from injuries later on. Oh, no. Before he died, he said that he had attacked the wolf on its paws, but it looked like hands, like a man's hands, and they were covered with hair. Oh, jeez. but it looked like hands like a man's hands and they were covered with hair oh geez so the town immediately believed that it was this one person named paranay uh gandian gandalin um and apparently they were found to have a wound on their hand in the exact same place as the wolf and that was

suspicious enough where they were like you have a wound on your hand you must be a werewolf man ben was on his deathbed like i just want to cause some final chaos before i go so everyone stir shit up i was gonna say my last pot stirring and so rumors in town apparently before this people were looking for a reason to get this uh perine person in trouble because it was shocking their whole family was already rumored to be witches oh come on um and so they basically the crowd gathered up the whole family um it was led by this one guy named henry boguette who was another terrible witch hunter um and he i guess had a vendetta against the family and was like i've been wanting to catch them for a long time as witches i know that's a werewolf let's just go

get them so he the way he backed this up and justified his reasoning uh the witch hunter was he said that one time he had seen them all on all fours barking and howling and covered in mysterious scratches and when he questioned the family about it they confessed to witchcraft which like i don't think they did yeah he's just like you know i heard it with my own two ears yeah i just walked up to them one day and then they got on all fours and said they were witches like yeah i don't think so yeah i don't think so and then the whole family did and they were like no one's gonna believe you what if they were actually just a whole family of bill murray's they were just like no one will ever believe what I'm about to do.

I'm sad that I'm not part of that family. I would not be surprised if Bill Murray has gotten on all fours and ran around somewhere in the world. No, me neither. If you guys haven't watched the documentary, No One Will Ever Believe You, please go watch it. I've never seen it. Like, I know the story, but I've never seen it. I think I watched it when we were on tour, and it was like an airplane documentary. Oh.

It was very weird. I was like, why on earth is this what's happening? But if you don't know about Bill Murray's lifestyle. You must. He chooses to approach random people and do ridiculous shit, and then he'll say, no one will ever believe you, and then he walks away. And everyone's got some weird Bill Murrayray story except me except me but everyone except me the main one in the documentary was that he like crashed like a frat party or something and like

partied with them for like five days and like got wildly fucked up and then was like no one will ever believe you anyway so here's another story that is not about bill murray so this one is uh in france in 1521 um and uh this guy his name was uh pierre so it was about pierre and then another guy named michael um and they were known as the werewolves of polygamy not not polygamy polygamy with an n oh never mind maybe i'm maybe it's a french town that i'm mispronouncing but i see okay uh p-o-l-i-g-n-y sounds a lot like polygamy to me um so they were accused of lycanthropy uh basically this one guy was attacked by a wolf um and he uh the wolf ended up running away so the guy tried to track down the wolf so he could kill him once and for all and it ended up leading him to this guy michael's house and uh

michael he knocked on the door to be like hey have you seen a wolf in your area and michael was found dripping blood and so he was arrested and under torture confessed that he was a werewolf um he said that he wasn't the only werewolf though so if he's gonna go down all other werewolves are going down with him so he said there's another werewolf that you would want to talk to his name is pierre so that's the story oh boy throw him under the bus so only like halfway into his trial pierre made a full-blown confession he said he became a werewolf one night while he was struggling in a storm to herd his sheep and three mysterious people dressed in black approached and said that if pierre accepted the devil as his master the sheep would be okay oh well in that case these must have been sheep that were worth gold because special sheep pierre was like that sounds like an excellent deal

so uh he like uh he took himself out of i think he was catholic and uh so he renounced catholicism he like said like the devil's my savior and the sheep were fine so that was much like juniper we're like we didn't ask for this. But thanks. The sheep are just staring at him in the storm being like, this is what's going on. Yeah. So Pierre, only two years later, he was like, I'm tired of like not going to church. I'm tired of the devil being my master. And I guess the mysterious group found out because all of a sudden Michael approached Pierre.

And I guess Michael was also part of this, like, devil-worshiping group. And they sent Michael out to go talk to Pierre and try to coax him back into the life, if you will. And he basically, they were trying to, I don't know why, like, Pierre was so special. Like, why he needed to be the one that continued worshiping satan but michael promised him money and said like if you come out to the forest like i'll show you like something that'll make you want to stay and so michael took him out to the woods they did a ceremony and they gave pierre this ointment oh boy here we go and they basically said okay rub get naked rub this all over yourself and now you're a werewolf he's like trust me trust me just do it he's like this is a good

thing you're gonna save worth it so they began like regularly going into the forest together getting naked sounds a little gay to me and then they would uh just rub ointment all over each other and become like a fun time i mean i'm assuming that there are hallucinogens in this ointment. So I'm thinking like they're partying it up at this point. Well, so remember this was in, so this was 1521. So for like another 20 years, the Pope wasn't even going to test this ointment. Right. So nobody knew that there was like a side effect where you were going to think you're growing hair and flying and shit.

So if it's the most specific and random, like, can you imagine watching a PSA commercial where it's like side effects may include thinking you've grown a lot of hair, but not growing a lot of hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And flying around. Just don't worry about it. Well, so then they started having regular meetups where they would go into the woods and they would rub ointment on each other and become werewolves. But part of their little hangouts is that they would also kill people. Oh, dear. Okay.

That's not good. It was fun until then, to be clear. That part, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Imagine Pierre where you're like, look look i'm not really sure about this and then you like decide you're gonna go to one meeting in the forest then you realize you're a werewolf you're like holy shit this is actually not this is pretty cool and then the next meeting they're like okay but now we're gonna kill people too and pierre's like this is worth it for my sheep i don't understand pierre's probably like

i'm in too deep at this point like i can't back out now what are you gonna say oh uh don't worry we were rubbing ointment all the time for several days so don't worry about that part but then we crossed the line pierre was like even i don't know what's going on anymore so there's no way i can explain this it's too late man so they started running through forests they would kill lost travelers and children um they uh confessed to killing three children at different times uh agricultural workers a woman who was gathering vegetables the man who tried to rescue her and a goat um not the goat you did this all for the sheep you did this for the sheep and now look what you've done so sad so fucking sad apparently they would tear out people's throats they would drink their blood and they have uh confessed to bestiality

which i'm i'm confused i don't know if that means they were doing things to like the goat and like actual animals or each other because they thought they were wolves oh i get it you know what i mean like was the bestiality with other werewolves well it sounds like it was to these sheep or these goats because they were very somehow attached to these animals that's true let's hope it's not that way unhealthy obsession with these animals my thought is like if you're already running off to go get naked together and rub lotion on each other maybe the maybe bestiality is the wrong word we can only hope yeah maybe you just mean gay sex which is fine yeah maybe i mean

uh i i hope that's what it was because i'd prefer that over you know i hope if the sheep were involved they were just like awkwardly just watching the whole time like and that's it yeah um so two notes when pierre was uh being was on trial for all of this because remember he was telling this whole backstory he did make sure he wanted everyone to know he could not explain what would happen to his wolf hair when he shape-shifted back to human form it would just vanish oh it was like very important to him for everyone to know sure got also he said he had to become naked to become a werewolf but michael could do it with his clothes on what so apparently he wasn't a strong

enough werewolf he needed the extra step someday so those are the werewolves of polygamy um the next one pronounced like polony polony something polish polish me no i don't know i'm just being a stupid american but poligny okay like i think that's italian i think i'm pretty sure i'm thinking poligny okay okay moving on oh look if at this point any french person who heard me saying that has been mad for the last 15 minutes that's true we're not gonna get them back it's too late it's too late they already turned us off so the next one is in france in 1573 uh who this one the werewolf was called the hermit of dole um their name was also uh gilles uh garnier okay um and garnier turned into a werewolf and attacked a 10 year old in a vineyard and dragged her away. Then he, uh,

stripped her naked and ate her alive. What? From the thighs to the arms. Okay. Woof. And, uh, then brought the rest of the flesh back to his wife,

I guess for dinner. I don't know. Oh, um, maybe she, it's like when I go to like the gas station and I know Allison's going to want me to buy a Reese's for her. So let's do it.

He was like, just like that. My wife is going to be so jealous if I don't bring back some raw human. Yeah. Oh God. So he apparently killed another girl, wounding her into five places, but was chased off by three men. A week later, he also attacked a boy and dragged him into the woods. Um, but he got caught because in the dragged him into the woods um but he got caught

because in the middle of eating the boy alive he turned back into a human who knows he suddenly realized what was happening the drugs wore off right god who knows what part of that story is true hopefully none of it um sounds like bath salt story all over again i mean it does that's what i keep thinking too i i've thought that a few times when I was doing this research. Disturbing. Garnier was tortured to extract a confession. He admitted that he was just really poor, and so he would forage in the woods. And one day he came across a shadow man who offered him an ointment. So it would turn him into a wolf, which allowed him to hunt more effectively.

And he confessed to uh murdering four children while being a werewolf so that he and his wife could eat um and he was burned and alive at the stake i mean if you if he actually did murder and eat four children like sure that person probably needs some justice but yes it just makes you wonder like if they're being tortured like did they actually do this or is this like an accusation unfounded i don't know the worst part about all this is i have no idea what parts of my story of the stories are true so hopefully these are all just like random like folklore but i imagine someone has been killed for witchcraft or something probably like court records for some of it.

I mean, just like there were for the witch trials. Right. Right. I'm sure. Yeah. I wonder also with these stories, my thought is I wonder like when they get so fantastical,

if they're just like being tortured and they're like, let me tell you the tale. And right. Like Rumpelstiltskin style. I don't really remember that story, but I feel like you just talk and talk and talk. Just kind of like, just trying to come up with something to make it sound real and so yeah like entertain you at least to stop the

torture a lot of artistic license yeah yes um also where like someone should be going into the woods and looking for this like weird shadowed figure who just has like a bottle of ointment and nothing else who's offering it to people for free it's michael and pierre it must be they were just out there in the woods it's just shocking where everyone's like oh and the shadow figure who had nothing but a bottle of ointment to his name it's like let's go find that guy like yeah who is this guy who is offering all this like weird werewolf serum um okay free by the way for free doesn't sound like he's charging um i i have the next one i'm gonna actually save to the last because that's like arguably the biggest werewolf trial story um so i've got a couple more real quick so

in 1598 in france there was a guy named jacques roulette um apparently he was convicted of lycanthropy peasants in the area found a nude mutilated body of a 15 year old boy oh fuck super gross his limbs were still pulsing so it was a very fresh kill no um and as peasants got closer apparently two wolves ran off and so they thought okay a wolf attacked this kid let's go chase after the wolves the wolves disappeared but out of the same bushes came this tall man this was not the same man with ointment. Not the shadow man. Not the shadow man. This guy was Jacques Roulette.

He was a tall man in torn up rags. His hands were bloody, and apparently there was like human skin under his fingernails. Oh! So they were like, okay, this guy fucking did it. So they brought him to the local magistrate, and Jacques said that he was a beggar. He was begging with his two brothers named Jean and Julian, which I love that all three of them are Js, that the Duggars did not use. Every single one of them.

The Duggars, you said? The Duggars, how like all 19 of their kids are named with the letter J. I think those are a little too exotic, though. Jacques, Jean, and Julian. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're a little too exotic. They weren Jacques, Jean, and Julian. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're a little too exotic. They weren't like, yeah, they're not Arkansas enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so Jacques said that he worshipped the devil ever since he was a kid. His parents gave him a special ointment. Maybe he's the child of the shadow man. Ah. Intriguing. And this ointment made him turn into a wolf that was specifically hungry for humans. He said that the two wolves that people saw were his brother and his cousin, Jack and Julian.

And he confessed to killing and eating children with his family because they were poor beggars who were hungry. He was able to give precise dates and times for crimes that actually had happened, which is super gross. So like that one feels more real to me yeah that's not good um he did receive the death penalty for werewolfism cannibalism and murder but he appealed his conviction saying that he gave his conviction under duress or he gave his confession under duress and he was sentenced instead to a mental hospital for insanity so this guy gets off the guy other people the guy with arguably the most like the more airtight story yeah more factual statements yeah this is that's disturbing also like under duress i can't believe they had that back then you can appeal under say

you were under duress but like nobody else they're not like oh but all these other people who were their fingernails were torn off like this guy was just a vagabond and a lawyer is the difference he knew he knew the law he was a vagabond and lawyer and a wolf also and also like almost a dugger so like it's he's got a lot on his resume god he's really a cool guy in 1603 there was a jean grenier in france also um and so children in the area had started to uh disappear from the fields apparently one baby was even taken from its cradle um and witnesses started coming forward including a 13 year old who said she was attacked by a wolf under a full moon and another kid who said that they were watching cattle and they were taken by a wolf. And this guy, Jean Grenier, he was heard bragging that he was behind the attacks.

Oh, shit. They also connected him to being a wolf because apparently he was hitting on this girl. And she said that she wasn't interested because he was so dirty. And the guy was like, I'm not dirty. I just wear wolf skin because I needed to become a werewolf. Like that was his way of hitting on her. I'm like, no, no, no. He's like, oh, this?

You've got it all wrong. I'm not dirty. I'm just a wolf. Oh my God. And so they kind of connected him that way. And then he ended up elaborating that he was part of a pack of nine werewolves that hunted three times a week. It's like they have like a calendar, like a Google invite, like three times a week. They probably do.

They're like, let's gather. Let's do our thing. They're like, get on the survey monkey. What days are you free next week? We have some plans. So he also said that he loved to prey on young children because their flesh was most tender okay wolf that's bad i like how we're like she was like i don't want to do you because you're dirty also like now i don't want to do because you're a wolf but now i definitely don't want to do you

because you're a murderer now she's like am i supposed to be is this hot now am i like into it i don't think so it's like i know i said i like bad boys but like this is too much i regret that um so apparently he confessed to various murders and in each case he was able to give exact details again which is terrible the court showed clemency to him on account of his age and poor education so they sent him to a church to live at serious so he was allowed to go live uh in god's house um in 1610 people went to go visit him so only a couple years after he was sent to go live in God's house. Right. In 1610, people went to go visit him. So only a couple years after he was sent to live at the church, they said he looked completely different.

He had sunken black eyes. He had long teeth, which I don't know how your teeth grow. Ew. But they're like, we haven't seen him in seven years. His teeth are so long these days. I know. He never gets them cut. I know.

I wonder if, like, because maybe he was, like, not eating or starving. Like, his gums kind of rose? Yeah. like yeah especially if you have sunken eyes also like i wonder if that's just a starvation thing that's actually really sad and probably true yeah um also his hands look like talons okay so that guy also is not cutting his claws his nails his claws who knows if he's a werewolf um but he also loved to run around on all fours and uh he loved to talk about wolves and he would only eat raw meat okay so this guy also probably should have been sent to like get help because it sounds like yeah it sounds like he had clinical lycanthropy where he legitimately thought he was a werewolf interesting so there's that guy and then in 1691 there was an 80 year old man named tease and he was tried for being a werewolf because his neighbors had a conspiracy

theory that he was they were just like that fucking guy um uh police had brought him in on an unrelated matter and he just started fucking talking about being a werewolf so like it ended up the neighbors were actually on to something okay all right that's not much of a conspiracy theory though if he's already telling you that he's a wolf yeah i feel like you don't have to be hush hush about that if he's already approaching you and i'm assuming he would just start talking about it sounds like that's all he wanted to talk about yeah it's if i were going up to my neighbors and i was like man let me tell you about werewolves i love being a werewolf werewolves are so great i'm i there's nothing i love more than being a werewolf the neighbors have a right to call the police the

neighbors are like there's something off about this guy i can't put my finger on it but something's let's drop some red string on corkboard but i have a hunch we're gonna get somewhere around where somewhere so the police brought him in on a random other situation and he did the same thing and so the cops like okay so this guy like has no shame no um he did say that his nose had been broken by a witch while he was a werewolf oh dear um because he was preventing the crops from growing so this sounds like he was one of those Bandanetti werewolves. I think I'm saying the word. I don't have the...

I don't know it. I think it was called Bandanetti wolves. But if you heard the last episode, these were specific werewolves who felt like they were tasked since birth to astral project into a world where they fought witches to protect local crops, which... Yeah, that's the funnest one the most fun and somehow the least sensical yeah exactly uh but so i this sounds like like he thought he was a bandonetti wolf sure um and so he said that witches were preventing the crops

from growing and because they were trying to draw the grains into hell which like what is satan gonna do with the grains when he when they get to hell i guess make some cookies i don't know he needs he's doing a sourdough starter like the rest of us oh no uh so to prevent this tease and his werewolf pack descended into hell to fight the witches off and get the grain back uh and then tease told the cops that that he had since then given up lycanthropy he's like yeah yeah that was back in my glory days i'm not a werewolf anymore um he gave it up i don't know i don't know why he did say that werewolves can only change into wolves three days out of the year which are saint lucius day the pentecost and uh midsummer night um he said that so werewolves can only change those three days and they have to use magical wolf pelts to be able to turn into a wolf

um he also said that werewolves are agents of god um and it was their task to protect livestock which is ironic because you're a wolf they're the good guys right so now he's saying like no no we're christian wolves i'm protecting the grains and i'm protecting the livestock even though i'm a wolf who will eat livestock and children also and also god wants me to do this yeah that's the big point here they then responded and they were like okay we get that you're like somehow like a good wolf, but also you're practicing magic. So we're going to flog you. And so.

Yeah. Sorry. Ends up getting flogged and exiled. Oh, God. Which like he was getting real cocky just talking about it and expecting no one to do anything during the werewolf trials. He's lucky he only got flogged. And that's the thing. I'm like, I'm shocked that it only went went that far especially when he was like giving up information

i mean if you're gonna be that braggadocious like at a time when you should be not mentioning it so proudly yeah like i'm be thankful you're not dead right now i'm amazed um so in 1849 this is the last one before the big one in 1849 there was there was one called the Galician Werewolf, which was in modern day Poland. And this guy named Switek. Switek was, he had a crush on this girl and told her, if you go to the churchyard and recite an incantation, I will give you jewels. Which is obviously how you flirt with people. What? That's how I got Allison.

I was like, go to the churchyard and do a little rhyme and i'll bring you something that literally is something that you would do but also like i guess it's better than just being dirty like the other guy or like being like no no you misunderstood i only like killing children like i just wear it right i just wear dead animals and kill children it's hot don't worry about it can you imagine today's age if you tried to tell somebody that like like i i'm sorry like i'm just like trying to play it in my head any of the above yes but can you imagine telling someone like i think like you might need to like talk to somebody like i think you maybe are a little unstable and they're like no no no i'm just in a pack of werewolves like i yeah you don't understand which like and i want to be very clear before like the rest of this episode too if like if like you're part of uh like you know a group or like like if you're an indigenous person

who identifies with spirit animals or things like that that's very different than like claiming you are a werewolf and are happy to murder children and things like that so yes i hope no one's being offended if like you actually uh have a belief system that allows you to sure sure sure you know be amongst animals and all that so yeah but yeah can you imagine where you're like i think maybe you need some help and they're like no no i'm just a murderer i don't understand you misunderstand i just like to eat children is there why don't you go to the dollar store parking lot and i'll throw some jewels at you right is there why don't you go to the dollar store parking lot and i'll throw some jewels at you right or whatever i don't really understand that part sing in a churchyard you'll get there so uh so the girl was like uh i'm gonna bring people if

i'm going to this churchyard by myself always bring a friend and he was pissed so he ran off he like got busted i guess he was like sounds like he didn't have great intentions it sounds you know what bingo christine i know i am i am just like so astute today look at me go but very quickly many other people started going missing in the churchyard oh no um and disappearances were blamed on swatek given the story that people had heard about him trying to lure someone else to the churchyard right um so villagers also began assuming he must be a werewolf I don't know where that connection began but everyone apparently is a werewolf at this point so I'm not surprised that that was an option yeah so they're like he's probably also a werewolf

um and so they began killing any wolf that they saw, thinking it might be Swatek in disguise. Well, that's kind of also sad in its own way. Yeah. I mean, it's just, I guess it's just hunting. It's not their fault. Yeah. So at the same time, an innkeeper happened to lose a bunch of their ducks. I guess they had ducks at this inn.

I love, I want to stay at that Airbnb, please please have you been to the peabody in memphis i don't even know what that is i've never been to memphis it's uh it's like old old old hotel in memphis and they have i think it's every day at noon they have a a show with where ducks come through the hotel and go swimming in the fountain get out of here oh it's so cute i would love to be privy to this it's so cute so they i think it's in memphis show with where ducks come through the hotel and go swimming in the fountain get out of here oh it's so cute i would love to be privy to this it's so cute so they i think it's in memphis uh it could be nashville i'm pretty sure it's memphis i've always wanted to go to memphis now i have to go to memphis they make it this royal regal thing they put out all these chairs in the lobby of the hotel it's this very elaborate beautiful hotel as it should be and so they put out all

these chairs so everyone gets like a front row seat it looks like a little wedding because they a hotel it's this very elaborate beautiful hotel as it should be and so they put out all these chairs so everyone gets like a front row seat it looks like a little wedding because they have like chairs everywhere and then they have literally like a man in like an old ass regal hat and coat and a cane stop it walking and he's followed by a procession of ducks all in a row literally ducks in a row one by one i can't even and they all walk slowly to this very, like, delightful royal music. And they follow him to the fountain, and then he, like, does an about face and turns to them, and then each of them, one by one, hop up onto the fountain. And then at, like, he, like, says something, like, I guess they're, like, trained to know a certain command,

and they, like, all hop into the water together. It's very cute. Excuse me, I have goose cam cute excuse me i have goose cam no i have duck cam oh my god did you see this live yes oh i'm so jealous it was one of my mom and i when we road tripped out to california we stopped in memphis that's amazing i mean why did you even keep going i would have been like sorry california i'm here for good but uh my mom that was like the one thing my mom really wanted to do across the entire nation she's like i want to see the peabody ducks so i mean i now linda i get it i'm with you i'm can we go on a road trip because just for the ducks wow wow so uh anyway so when i think the innkeeper lost his ducks all i think is like

is this in memphis like you know what mem Memphis is only a state away from me now. So if Tennessee is right, right near me, so there you go. Just drive on down, steal a duck. Um, so anyway,

he lost all of his ducks. He suspected it must be wolves. And I guess the rumors throughout the local area where that sway tech was the wolf everyone was looking for. So it kind of became this thing of like sway tech must've taken my ducks sure um so he goes to sweet x home oh and he uh smelled roasted meat being cooked oh no and he saw sway tech i guess uh i guess sway tech saw that someone was outside looking into his house and so he like hid something under his apron oh no and so the innkeeper who was there looking for his ducks and smelled roast and meat was like what did he just

hide under his like coat because he sees me coming quacked no and then a whole procession of ducks jumped out of his apron the music the violins began uh imagine swatek is just the guy with the cane and the hat i think maybe that's where the story is going i like it it's not because uh the innkeeper ran up to him grabbed him and lifted up his apron to be like giving my duck back and it was the head of a girl oh yikes oh what so they were like okay so you're literally killing people and found him in human form. So this was like an actual murder. So he called like authorities and Swatek's house got searched. They found a bowl of fresh blood.

They found her organs removed and cleaned. And they found her limbs roasting over the fire, which was the meat that he smelled. Oh, M. Oh, no. Swatek later confessed to having killed and eaten at least six people um but it was probably a much higher number he just confessed to six um and he uh apparently this all started because after a fire apparently again he was really poor and very hungry and he uh there was a fire nearby and a lot of people died in the

fire and he was so hungry he just started eating their cooked bodies oh god okay and he liked the taste so much he just continually wanted to eat humans yeah the first part i understand like okay survival but the second part is like yeah no no no you just go too far you just continue yeah so the locals suspected him of lycanthropy um but either way he was like already caught for murder um and so he was supposed to go to jail he's like oh it's a werewolf they're like it doesn't matter like he's literally a murderer truly that like lycanthropy is still the first charge he gets it's like no no no no it doesn't matter at this point oh my god but so he ended up actually uh dying by suicide while in jail because he knew he was getting the death sentence so this is just wild okay and i want to reiterate like this is like a lot of remember a

lot of people so far in these stories have confessed to eating other people because they were poor and hungry and side note all the peasants were still the ones who hadn't been completely converted yet and a lot were still just practicing paganism so it's like it's like taking two different parts like there's the uh a lot of the peasants were still practicing paganism a lot of the peasants were hungry and poor so they like resorted to cannibalism so the paganism part and the cannibalism part really have nothing to do with each other except that they both are like part of the peasantry community and so a lot of people started thinking oh if you're a cannibal you must be a witch so i think that's where the werewolf thing

kind of came into play of like i see if you're eating people we don't even care that you're a murderer you must just be a witch and being a werewolf is what's causing this well and it also probably just seems so like inhuman like right the gut instinct is to be like this isn't a person like us this is a creature from the devil exactly exactly so there's one last one and this is arguably the biggest werewolf story during the years of the werewolf trials. So this is in 1589. You might have heard of this, for all I know. This is in Bedburg, Germany.

I don't know. I don't think so. Not because, like, you're German and it's in Germany. But I just, I don't, it sounds like one of your stories. It's probable, so don't worry. It sounds like one of your, like, German cautionary tales. Oh, no so oh no oh no let me get a sip of water real quick so i like i don't know if you can see my little i got this little love seat and it's i call it my fainting couch oh i love that expire when do this do this oh yeah yep there it is very dramatic and i'm obsessed with it so i'm

gonna scoot to this table so that i can be more so you can feign for this so you can feign appropriately yeah i would love to feign appropriately for your story i love that oh my gosh it sounds delightful okay so this is in uh 1589 in bedburg germany and this is the story of peterube. Stube? This does sound familiar, actually. Okay. So apparently his name is Peter Stube or Peter Stube, but people have also called him Peter Stumpf, Peter of Bedburg, and the Werewolf of Bedburg. What year was it? 1589.

Oh, okay. Maybe I don't know it then. So apparently there were strange deaths of cows that were found in the pastures recently. Children and women were disappearing. So it was just kind of a lot of weird stuff was going on in the town. And one day, a bunch of limbs of several missing people were all found together in one field. Oh, no. Not the disembodied feet.

They're back. The disembodied feet, the disembodied arms, disembodied ears, all of it. You're right. There's a lot of disembodied feet they're back the disembodied feet the disembodied arms disembodied ears all of it you're right there's a lot of disembodied things so uh the community thought that it must be wolves just because they looked so mangled and people were getting dragged out of fields next to dead cattle they sure um and so they determined it must be wolves and then very quickly jumped to it must be werewolves. Or at least it could be werewolves. Right. Since this was like right in the hot spot of the werewolf trials, if you're assuming a wolf, you might as well also assume a magical wolf, I guess.

Why not at that point? So local hunters started looking. And after many days, they actually found a massive wolf-like creature and they chased it down with their dogs, everything, and they cornered it, or the dogs cornered it. And by the time the actual hunters got up to where the dogs had cornered this wolf, they were now cornering a man. So in theory, he transformed back into his human form before the hunters got there. Oh, my. And it was Peter Stube. And so apparently Peter was a farmer in town. He was a widower, a father. He was a peasant in town.

And he was arrested immediately for the deaths of 13 children, two pregnant women, and livestock. Oh, my God. All under the guise of him being a werewolf oh that's true that's true they were just like literally a wolf they're like we just found you like our dogs cornered you while we're looking for wolves you must be responsible a head in his apron like the other guy right just like happened to be taking a walk there was less evidence than a literal head than the exact evidence that other guy had right but then get this he straight up confessed and like it could be under duress

it could have been you know through torture or something like that but the way that this story goes he like happily openly said on his own like yeah this was me oh no um and so he apparently the attacks were wildly brutal especially on pregnant women he had sorry ripped out the fetuses and ate them raw oh oh i hope that's not true i hope this is not true he called them dainty morsels. Okay, well, okay. Just fucking ridiculous. Oh, God. Also, I also don't think this one's real. First of all, I just really fucking hope it's not. I just hope it's not.

But apparently this story comes from, like, some random pamphlet from, like, the 1500s, and it was never documented anywhere else. So it feels very cautionary tale-ish. Can you imagine, though, like, if you were the writer of this pamphlet from like the 1500s and it was never documented anywhere else so it feels very cautionary oh my gosh can you imagine though like if you were the writer of this pamphlet and then like however many hundreds of years later we're sitting here just like casually chatting about this story and the guy's like holy shit well also like not like no offense to pamphlet writers but like i would i would offense to pamphlet writers but i would i would think if my job were a pamphlet writers but like i would i would offense to pamphlet writers but i would i would think if my job were a pamphlet writer i would think like this isn't going to be around in 500 years or

why would you right like this will be long gone but your pamphlet is the only one to have made it and you happen to have the most fucked up story of all of them like i mean you knew what you were doing right you were hoping that someone would think to survive. Yeah. You were hoping this would like live out its legacy. You were like that guy, Peter, who stole my wife, my girlfriend. Right. I need to put him for the rest of eternity in humankind. I need everyone to think that this guy is like, they're going to know I'm already manifesting. So.

So, yeah. If that pamphlet was telling an accurate story even though there was no sources or anything there's no like uh bibliography right no annotated sites um or anti-citations so uh yeah so apparently he literally ate raw fetuses um he strangled children he bludgeoned women and ripped their throats out with his bare hands. He disemboweled some of them and partially ate them. Apparently also just like side note. I love that today pamphlets are like ride the world's tallest roller coaster.

Back then it was like this guy Peter literally ate fetuses. I would say they are still a commonality there because it's still like tourism. It's like come to the town whereeter did this really terrible fucking thing it's very german to be like do you want to know the most horrible thing that ever happened you know what's so funny is that i actually speaking of roller coasters i just found roller coaster tiktok which i didn't know was a thing i didn't either did you know that like i don't know why i'm shocked like this makes so much sense i'm just mad i like didn't know about it earlier so i could like become a part of it there's like apparently like a roller coaster community like just like how there's enthusiasts for anything there's like literally groups in

real life not on tiktok there's like there's like a an organization like huge enthusiast groups specifically about roller coasters who know like the physics of each one like the fun facts of each one and like they all get together at like meetups to go different theme parks and like ride their favorite roller coasters that they've studied together isn't it what so precious i had no idea well i have a fun fact about roller coasters which is that when em and i first started the podcast and we were brainstorming hey we have a podcast or we want a podcast what should we talk about? One of the things I'm through, I was like, hey, what about like theme parks? And I was like, theme parks? Do you remember that? No. One of the suggestions, because we were just throwing around ideas via text. It's probably somewhere. And you're like, what about like theme parks?

Like they're haunted, like haunted theme parks. Oh, I have a, I kind of vaguely remember. I wanted to do abandoned theme park, abandoned locations. Abandon of vaguely i wanted to do um abandoned theme park abandoned locations yeah and then i was like i mean i think that's cool but it feels very narrow like it feels very like you could only get like run out you could only get like 10 episodes in and to be clear we didn't think we'd have 200 someday but we were like well we should probably find a more vast source of material but i mean yeah look full circle haunts of locations is what we've branched into a full rhombus so um but yeah so he did terrible things to pamphlet right people yeah pamphlet man he uh did horrible things to livestock and people apparently one kid actually

got away at one point and but it did say that peter tried to grab her and like snap her neck but what saved her was she had this stiff high collar and it kept his fingers from being able to like do some sort of snapping motion and like oh god get like it was because of her like really starchy collar so do you think that was just like another German like Catholic way of being like see this is why little girls modesty saves yeah if you don't want to be eaten by an old man yep exactly uh and so he can't control himself but you can control your outfit you can definitely throw a couple uh starch collars on so it because he couldn't actually really grab her well it gave her time to scream so the cattle heard her and because the cattle were worried about their

own calves they charged at peter and he fell oh oh good good cows good cows uh i was gonna try to make a pun no it's too late okay um so peter also this is a weird thing and this according to the pamphlet and like google i'm inclined to believe that this was consensual um but he allegedly also was sleeping with his sister and his daughter um cool if the daughter was a minor probably not consensual but no i i i think the daughter was like an adult because okay both of, both the sister and the daughter were also assisting in these crimes, apparently. Okay. Not great.

I mean, even if she's an adult, like I still like, I'm not really like a big fan of it. No, it's not good. It's not good. But there's some troubling connotations there. So apparently he was sleeping with his sister and his daughter. Apparently he had a child with his daughter and then he murdered the baby by bringing it to the forest and eating its brains. What the fuck? Also, like this needs to be a longer pamphlet because I want more information.

Yeah, like a pamphlet. What the hell kind of pamphlet is this? It was one of those pamphlets that folds out into like a whole theme park map is what it was it has to be so at this trial uh peter confessed to all of his crimes um and he said that he had been practicing dark magic since he was 12 he started when the devil gave him a magical belt that would help him turn into a wolf great um and apparently when he would turn into the wolf this is his own description of himself he had the likeness of a greedy devouring wolf strong and mighty with eyes great and large a mouth great and wide with the most sharp and

cruel teeth and a huge body with mighty paws and he said that this was why the hunter thought that he originally was a wolf when they were chasing him he took the belt off before they could get to him and he became a human again but then like where was the belt was he just holding it the whole time good point rested him good point satanic belt so he apparently made a deal with the devil or this this is why he became like a killer because he originally made a deal with the devil specifically to quote work his malice on men women and children whereby he might live without dread or danger of life so like he made a deal with the devil so that he could be a murderer and get away with it but then he didn't get away with it so is the devil real also where's i mean maybe the devil's

just like haha it tricked you truly why would the devil make an honest agreement yeah exactly also i'm sorry i just can't stop thinking about this but like was the wolf wearing a belt that's what i'm thinking too i'm like did he take it off but how did he take it off like do you take your own fur off like or yeah in that case if you can't see the belt then you should know which wolves are wolves and which are werewolves also i'd be like prove it put on your belt i want to see this right okay wait a minute how come there were literally three centuries of werewolf trials where many people claimed that they were putting on magical belts and we've never seen one of these belts yeah okay give me a time machine em and i are gonna go back hang on a lot of we're the now we're the jury now we have a lot of questions

hello it's us it's me again so if you own a belt i want i actually just want to go into everyone's closet like i'm tan france and i want to be like i want to watch you put every single one of these on because one of them might be magical satanic belt i need it now also then jvn walks in he's like i want to see all your ointments well he's also like wait a minute is this queer eye he's like that werewolf hair is really matted girl we gotta brush it out. OK. We're not cut out for that kind of a show.

But we are the jury for 15th century trials. We would just be the ants in the end, just eat avocados in the kitchen and leave everyone else alone. That's all I've ever wanted. So yeah. So he apparently made a deal with the devil so that he could kill people. He also confessed to having sex with a succubus. Oh, good. That the devil sent him as a like a thank you or something that's like the least like a fruit

basket for all your trouble here's your succubus that's like the least confess like the least i mean like okay you're confessing that you also had sex with your daughter and your wife or i'm sorry your sister and yeah killed babies but like you're confessing to having sex with like a you're like here's arguably the worst of it all it's like right i beg to differ priorities are off um so then on halloween apparently peter's daughter and his sister um again both who were convicted of assisting him in his crimes they were both burned at the stake. Oh, no. And then Peter specifically, because he did the real heinous shit, he was like old school medieval tortured where he was like lashed on a wheel.

Oh, my God. And his flesh was torn off of him with like pliers, like pinchers. I think that's called flaying. Okay. Well, that happened to him. Oh, God. His limbs were broken and then they chopped off his head and then oh my god and then his body was burned at

the stake and then they put another like i guess previously dead wolf's body they put peter's head on the body and then like hoisted it up in the center of the town so everyone could go see this like dead wolf with peter's head on it as a warning. It's now sounding more like a pamphlet. Like I'm getting the picture now. As a warning to other werewolves. Like this will happen if also gave a bad name to werewolves. Like can't there just be one werewolf who's like, I want to go hang out in the forest, maybe get a belly rub.

That's fucking it. That's it. Well, that one guy was like, I was just trying to get the wheat away from yeah that one guy's like look i'm saving your crops you're welcome you're welcome and uh and he probably also got executed anyway sorry that was so long but those are some of the many stories and cases from the werewolf trials that's nuts dude no it was just long because i kept interrupting i apologize but no holy cannoli that was crazy i wow i don't even know what to say that pamphlet though that was the longest pamphlet i've ever heard of that pamphlet was like a 20 minute long uh story on a podcast

it sounds like our episode yeah okay all right well i have a story for you today um that several people had requested in the past and I didn't know what it was. And now I feel pretty ignorant. Oh. But this is the story of Neil Stonechild and the Starlight Tours murders. Oh, that sounds familiar, but I'm proud. I've probably never heard of it.

Yeah. I knew that phrase just because people kept requesting it, but I had like never thought like thought to really. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I knew that phrase just because people kept requesting it, but I never thought to really. Oh. Sorry. I think I've just heard Starchild before, and so I'm confusing it in my head. Okay, it's Starlight Tours, but. Oh, okay.

Well, I really don't know what's going on. Starchild, I think. Okay, no, I'm not going to say it because I feel like. I think that was a book. I'm a very ignorant person. Let's just keep going. Okay. Okay.

So I'm going to try to make us slightly less ignorant today. This week, we are going to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, and Canada. So let's start there. Let's please. Wow. Some notable people from Saskatoon include Joni Mitchell, former NHL player Gordie Howe, not somebody I know, but okay, and Jan Martel, who wrote Life of Pi. Oh, okay.

Fun fact. I do know Life of Pi. That one I know, and Joni Mitchell I know. I feel like everyone's, maybe I don't, maybe my mom was like with the times, and it's actually a younger generation that I'm aware of. But my mom and every mom that I was aware of was fucking obsessed with that book all at the same time. Yeah, it was a very like Oprah's pick book it had

it must have been or something where it was like it's a like Oprah's book club or whatever my mom was like it's a boy and a tiger on a boat for the entire book and I went that sounds awful okay to be fair your mom also wanted to see the ducks only the ducks so it makes a lot of sense my my mom really is like a real sucker for any like like main character where it's only an animal. I mean, same. Like she's not far off. Anyway. I think she has a good taste.

Okay. So Life of Pyrite. Another fun fact about Saskatoon, according to the blog Hike Bike Travel, is that there are more Tim Hortons per capita than in any other city in Canada. Fun. So that's the big Tim Hortons per capita than in any other city in canada fun so that's the the big tim hortons town i guess i dragged eva into a tim hortons when we went to vancouver oh did you purely because i was in canada because you were there right and because eva was next to

me and i was like you really like lost all opportunities for an opinion today eva like i'm sorry i'm dragging you here i'm dragging you here you should have stayed at the hotel if you didn't want this. Yeah, she knew what she was getting into. She was the ultra hype man, though. Like, she, I think, obviously, you and her both know how much I love Canada. Yes, we do. Eva totally enabled every ounce of anything I wanted to do.

And I was like, we have to go. Oh, my God. I was getting all these fucking pictures to the group chat of, like, with different, like, touristy items. And I was like thanks guys it's i'm still grossed out at how much money i spent in canada on souvenirs like it was all for me i wasn't buying them for anyone else no no they weren't gifts by the way anyway i'm sorry no no you're good uh i think we need to get that out there every you know we were all waiting anytime we can i want to anyway, shout out to Eva for like absolutely being a homie that day. Yeah, shout out to Eva, period.

End of story for everything. So there's a lot of Tim Hortons. Anyway, Saskatchewan is also home to a large portion of the First Nations community. So just for reference, in 2016, the population of Saskatchewan was 1,070,560. And of those, 114,570 were of First Nations identities. And I don't expect any of you, including Em or me, to do the math in our heads. So I will tell you that is 10.7% of the population. Wow. Okay. Identified as First Nations. So on November 24th, 1990, Neil Stonechild, a Salto First Nations 17 first nation 17 year old was hanging out with his friend jason roy playing cards and drinking heavily they were at their friend julie binning's

house party on the west side of saskatoon so neil and jason had a 40 of vodka and they had drunk most of it between the two of them and around 11 1130 p.m., they parted ways. And the following morning, Neil was reported missing. A whole five days later, November 29th, 1990, a group of workers found Neil's body in the undeveloped industrial block on the outskirts of Saskatoon. So he was way out in like the industrial outskirts um and they found his body so sergeant keith jarvis who becomes like a main character in the story uh he was part of the mortality unit assigned to investigate and uh it turns out neil's body had frozen in the it was negative 28 degrees celsius which again don't expect anyone to have this calculator in your head thank you negative 18.4 degrees fahrenheit so still fucking cold got it fucking cold um he was lying face down

wearing only jeans a light letterman jacket from his brother and just one shoe so and he had frozen to death despite there being visible injuries to his body sergeant jarvis concluded that this was just another case of a kid going out getting drunk and going for a walk where he froze to death okay so neil's funeral was held on december 3rd 1990 at westwood funeral chapel where his friends uh saw the body and observed two parallel cuts on the bridge of neil's nose oh okay um stone child's family immediately suspected foul play and so they began to question why sergeant jarvis had quickly closed the case within like four days of finding the body okay um because they were like you listed the death as hypothermia cause of death as hypothermia but like there are cuts on his face right it just

doesn't add up like where are they coming from yeah so sergeant jarvis said quote it is felt that unless something concrete by way of evidence to the contrary is obtained the deceased died from exposure and froze to death there is nothing to indicate why he was in the area other than the possibilities he was going to turn himself into the correctional center or was attempting to follow the tracks back to Sutherland group home or simply wandered around drunk until he passed out from the cold and alcohol and froze. So to clarify, apparently Neil was, quote, at large from an open custody youth group home called the Picard home for alcohol abuse. That's he was staying there and he had been granted a temporary absence that month but he didn't return on time to the group home so he was quote at large uh in a technical sense sure so according to miss patricia picard who ran the home neil had called her the day he went missing at 7 30 and she was like you need to come back like she was trying to urge him to come back

to the to the home um and he told her he told miss picard that he had promised his mother he would turn himself in at the end of the weekend uh so he i guess wanted to stay at the house party right i'll be there i'll be there sunday don't worry i do like pretty hungover i do like that he literally called her though like she did like he called her to let her know i'll be back but not yet he's like uh i appreciate that you're trying to set a standard for me but i'm not gonna listen to you i got this 40 from my older brother and yeah i'm not leaving until it's done until it's handled so she explained this to police and when sergeant jarvis heard this he decided okay well that's what he was doing.

He was out in this random industrial area on the edge of town on his way to the Picard home, even though that was not where, even though a, that was not where the home was. And B, he had just told this woman he wasn't coming back until the end of the weekend. Right.

So then the woman was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, She categorically denied this, said like he would not then, not now, not ever have just wandered into the you know dark to come back to the to the group home especially in like the wrong

direction right so then neil's brother chris went to the police um after the investigation had already concluded and he wanted to request neil's belongings so his little brother's belongings um the saskatoon police told him they couldn't find them uh they just weren't just like just either they didn't bring them back from the crime scene or they just lost them in their office trashed them right they're not gonna look okay they're just not even not even a lost and found um and like remember that he had given his brother this letterman's jacket so like it was literally a gift from him to his brother or I don't know if it was a loan or gift or whatever, but he didn't get his jacket back.

He didn't get any, his family didn't get any of his possessions back. So there are like a lot of flaws, not shockingly in Jarvis's report. For example, it does not address why Neil was missing a shoe, which was part of the issue. It doesn't address how he could have walked nine

kilometers to an industrial area in a snowstorm uh without one of his shoes with well you're right exactly did they ever find his other well i guess we don't know because they don't know where his belongings are but like did this happen to be near a hill area like could he have fallen and lost the shoe potentially i think we don't really ever find out exactly why the shoe like specifically why the shoe or where it went missing okay um oh well i mean it's probably likely that it got just yeah lost somewhere or fell off or who knows but yeah i think even if the police did have it they were not gonna bring give it back um and it also didn't address how he had gotten those cuts on his nose

so which by the way remember his family and friends noticed at the funeral it wasn't like they were told this information it was like what is that right they saw it like the day he was going into the ground or whatever exactly and they like it hadn't even been addressed in the report so um the investigation was closed prior to receiving the coroner's report, prior to the toxicology report, and prior to completing interviews with witnesses. So, like, it just was closed right away. They didn't even wait for all the information. They didn't even wait for the coroner's report to come back. None of it.

Just wildly, like, irresponsible work here all around. Yeah, exactly. So something obviously was not right. But the case was deemed an accident and it was just case closed uh move on so on march 4th 1991 star phoenix journalist terry craig reported that neil stonechild's mother stella bignell and his sister disagreed with jarvis's report and suspected foul play but again nothing was done and now we basically fast forward to a decade later so now it's around 2000 it's been 10 years and this cold case is basically like a distant memory

in the town at this point okay then three cases were picked up by reporters on january 29 2000 the body of rodney nastus a 25 year old first nations man was discovered in a field near the queen elizabeth power station which is like way out where nobody was known to walk around it was just like way out of town less than a week later on february 3rd 2030 year old first nations man, Loris Wegner's frozen body was discovered in the same spot. So, like, by the power plant, again, where nobody was known to walk. So, very odd. And then one other man was found who had survived this,

a night, a similar night to tell his tale. So, 33-year-old. Okay. I know. Also it was this another person in the first nations yes okay so they're all first nations yes okay so it's feeling a little racist so far do you get a pattern okay i see i mean i it felt a little racist just in the original story and now i see and that's, right? Exactly. It's just quickly reporters got these three cases and then went, hold on. Like something way bigger is happening here.

Something smells off. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So 33-year-old First Nations man Daryl Knight reported that he had been dumped in a field near the Queen Elizabeth Power Station in the middle of a dangerously cold night by police officers. Okay, well, I'm okay. The end. That's all we needed to hear. So yeah, so let me take a whack

at this. So is this probably what happened to all of them and why the cops literally just said like, oh, he froze to death and like refused to look into any information refused to fill out autopsy reports refused to do anything because they were the ones responsible ding ding ding excellent wow kill surprise kill surprise um and remember like 10 of this population is first nation so it's like it's wow it's just shocking anyway um So Daryl Knight, he's 33. He says he was dumped in a field near the power station, which is where the other two bodies had been found in the middle of the night by police officers. Thank God he was able to hail a taxi and was able to get out of the weather before he succumbed to the elements. So does he I'm sure you're going to get into this, but does he remember what happened beforehand and how he got dumped there or like? Yeah.

So, OK. Yeah. So it ends up being a pattern of like why this was happening to specific people and let me also take a shot in the dark that every single one of these cops was white uh yeah okay well i mean i didn't need to add it i didn't need to i just wanted the confirmation here okay no you nailed it you nailed it um yeah it's quickly becoming a very obvious pattern i see so as recalled by dan zakreski a reporter who was covering these stories for the star phoenix at the time uh he was interviewed on an episode of criminal which is a really great podcast that just does like amazing research and interviews and it's hosted by phoebe. So Dan Zakruski is interviewed,

and he says to Phoebe, quote, that particular month, it was the post Christmas newsroom doldrums. I was assigned to look at one of these freezing deaths. There was a body found out by the city landfill, which is in the southwest section of the city. I was assigned to put together a best practices story of don't get drunk and try to walk home and develop a little bit of a feature on the individual who is frozen. So I began to do my research. Find out the individual's name turned out to be Lawrence Wagner, a social work student here in town. Then my city editor had gotten an improbable tip. City police had been dropping people outside of town.

First Nations people. dropping people outside of town first nations people so he begins to investigate this further because he's going i was just supposed to write a feature on this person who died right and write kind of a little story to be like hey be careful when you're out drinking you can die and he's like okay now we're getting all these really weird reports that this is happening sure to multiple people and it's not an accident right so he starts starts investigating and he interviews a first nations man who responds with, Oh, well that's just a star light tour. So I know.

So according to the Kresge, he had heard versions of this in the past, but so this is what it's a Kresge explained of a starlight tour. Police would pick up a person who was intoxicated and they don't want to take them into the station because it involves a lot of paperwork. So they think instead of taking you in and charging you, we'll take you somewhere and you can walk it off. So what they would do is they would go about this starlight tour. The police would, by targeting a First Nations or Aboriginal man who was out drinking that night, coax them into the police car in the in the with the idea that like police were going to drop you off at a drunk tank to sober up or take you obviously indoors um however what they would do is they would drive you to the outskirts

of saskatoon kick you out of the car and basically be like find your own way home and like again it's like negative 18 fahrenheit 28 celsius negative 28 celsius like it's free i mean within minutes especially if you're really intoxicated like frostbite can kick in within minutes you can die is there a crime is there a name how do i phrase this is there such a thing as intentional negligence because it sounds like oh yeah it sounds like they're oxymorons but it also sounds like this is that's exactly what's happening like yeah we're taking you further away to make sure that like you are more likely to be in trouble yeah because especially i mean especially if you are in a position of like helping somebody you know what i mean i mean i don't want to say any words about as far as like manslaughter that kind

of thing because i don't intentional i don't know the specific legal terms but yeah there's it's definitely a a crime to be like well it sounds like it sounds like negligence of like oh we're like gonna let you stay out here in the freezing cold when like we know we could help you but it sounds even more intentional it's like let's bring you even further away than you already were from home so it's even harder for you to you know get get help exactly at that point it's intentional whether you say like no we didn't mean to like uh- uh-huh. It's like, what were you doing out there? Yeah. Outskirts of town. Yeah. Well, and then the guy who survived, Daryl Knight, he basically said that he was like,

I'm going to freeze to death. And they were like, that's not our problem. In fact, we're making it your problem, whether or not it was yours to begin with. Exactly. Like, we created it. So, I mean, it's really horrific. Definitely a crime. So, critical race scholar Shereen Razak commented that there is a popular term for this practice as testimony to the fact that it happened more than once.

The practice of dropping off is a lethal one when the temperature is negative 28 Celsius and if the long walk back to town is undertaken without proper clothing and shoes. So it's horrific. I mean, it's a lethal thing, right? If this guy doesn't have a shoe on, doesn have a barely a coat and you're dumping him on the side of town like that's definitely intentional i wouldn't say you're killing him but you're certainly making it easier yeah yeah you're not you know you're not safe you're not helping him you're not yeah you're preventing his death you're not doing a good thing no no let's just leave it at

that also you know what i'm sorry i realized where i know the phrase starlight tours from where because that's i was thinking star child starlight tours that's literally one of the names of like the big tour company that's exactly right that's on the buses the hollywood like starlight tours is the is on the buses you're right where they drive you to all the celebrities houses and stuff by the way, I'm not convinced those are actually the celebrities' houses. I think they just drive you through the neighborhoods and they're like, oh, that's a celebrity. That's a celebrity. Yeah.

It's the same. Like, oh, don't worry. But that's how I know it. No, no, no. It's Starline. It's Starline. Okay. That's less offensive.

I just Googled it because I was like, there's no way they would fucking name it after a literal Starlight tour. Yeah. They just sound similar. But I i was like i feel like i know that and yeah we drive by those buses all the time yes starline tours hollywood celebrity homes tours yeah star and i think that's why especially like living in l.a for so long when people kept saying oh the starlight tours murders i was like starline tours yeah it sounds like a tour bus um that for a second i was like there's there's no way that that's the same name but okay they're just similar it's really similar and the fact that i think it

says tour is misleading yeah to us anyway so i felt pretty dumb when i've learned this because i went oh shit like you know people have been suggesting this and i had no clue what it was so i you know so of course uh most white locals claim to not know about this practice. Obviously, we don't know how true that is. Because Starlight Tours were very well known among the First Nations community who again, made up more than 10% of the population, right? So I mean, obviously, they were the targets of it. And it was obviously known to police because they were facilitating it. So how likely it is that, you know, locals who were white knew or didn't know is unclear. However, they denied knowing about it.

Most of them did anyway. Sure. So not surprising. So once the story was broken, the phone, once the story broke, basically, the phone lines lit up from people in the First Nations community calling, not just in Saskatoon, but all throughout Saskatchewan. Oh, wow. Yeah. They were saying, quote, this happens in Saskatoon, but all throughout Saskatchewan. Oh, wow. Yeah, they were saying, quote, this happens all the time, but no one ever believed us. We were being taken out by representatives of the state. Who was going to believe us?

White reporters weren't going to believe us. Oh, my gosh. So it's just like this fucking horrible practice that's been happening. And they're like, yeah, hello. Yeah, and I mean, like, like wow talk about privilege i've literally never heard this and i'm sure this is something that they all know about or have at least heard through the grapevine hopefully this isn't still fucking happening well i mean this is in 2000 it's not that long ago so great well now i feel like an asshole okay well it's okay it's anyway it's

very sobering um it's yeah it, it's just very sobering. So the reaction to the Daryl Knight case was immediate. So Saskatoon streets filled with protesters, including a march of 400 people alongside Lawrence Wagner's body. Sorry, Lawrence Wagner's family, whose body had been found by the power plant. And they marched to police headquarters. Amnesty International and a host of other groups demanded action. And then Chief Lawrence Joseph, who is a vocal former Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations chief and the then vice chief in charge of the justice portfolio, met with First Nations chiefs on February 19th 2000, who were angry and hurt. They met chiefs from across the province. And Chief Joseph tried in vain to set up meetings with Saskatoon's police chief and provincial and federal officials. And in every speech, news conference and public appearance,

Chief Joseph demanded answers and said there was pain, but something was born out of that pain. He declared police cannot and should not be trusted by first nations people and marginalized people and when he finally met with a senior justice department official he says the man alternately insisted on calling him lawrence or asshole rather than chief joseph which was his title okay well like i mean chief joseph joseph was like the um the first nations like leader of the group so basically the police are saying like oh we're just gonna call you Lawrence instead of like Chief Joseph which is like his title. I see wow completely different than what was going on in my head. Sorry yeah so Chief

Joseph was saying like you can't trust police like I'm meeting with chiefs from across the province we're demanding answers he couldn't get a meeting with saskatoon police um he finally met with the senior justice department official and the guy just continued to call him lawrence even though he's like my name is chief joseph and that's my title and you're fucking disrespecting me sorry the thing i was laughing at is i thought in my head they were reversed where the chief was calling the police assholes oh no no no which is what's happening in my head here okay yes sorry no no no wow that sounded like i was laughing at the completely wrong thing i mean i knew you were i just wanted to like clarify so people weren't

thank you thank you no no i thought it was the chiefs being like let's just call the police assholes and i was like let's sure no no no i mean i think that yeah at least no story but that sorry if it sounded offensive let's all remember that that was just my brain deciding to invert a complete situation. Yeah, I mean, it's confusing. There's a lot that I just kind of dumped on you, but. No, no, no. Just my brain being my brain. So just to clarify for everybody, Chief Florence Joseph was a vocal former federation of saskatchewan indian nations

chief and the then vice chief in charge of the justice portfolio so he's the one who met with other first nations chiefs who across the province i think because i heard chief and i know that that's like sometimes a name that you like say in a police a police chief so my bad i totally knew what was going on i just wanted to be like just, I'm not laughing because I'm an asshole. No, no, no. Yeah. So just to be clear. Yeah, that happened.

So he obviously was not taken seriously. Right. And then Chief Joseph's home was also pelted with eggs and paintball pellets on four occasions. And on two other occasions, explosives were set off in his mailbox. Really? He received multiple death threats. So it's just horrific. I feel like I've never actually heard of that happening in real life.

So it just sounds kind of like out of a movie. What? Like putting explosives in someone's- Oh, mailbox explosives? Oh, I think that's a real thing. I'm sure it's a real thing. It's shocking that that is actually something someone would choose to do. Yeah, I think that happened back in the 2000s, like in, was that in DC?

I don't remember. There was like a whole mailbox bomb thing. Oh, I remember the anthrax thing in mailboxes. Well, that also was a thing, yeah. Jesus, okay. Speaking of mail, death by mail, I guess, yeah. Wow, okay. So with the story obviously exploding, reporters began wondering how far back this practice went

and then they remembered the story of the teenager who was found on november 29th 1990 so back full circle to neil stonechild who had died a decade previously right and his case had just been kind of dismissed excuse me so on february 22nd 2000 the star phoenix put neil stonechild on the front cover of their newspaper and wrote an article connecting daryl knight's the survivor's allegations with neil stonechild's death a decade earlier so this survivor tale of daryl knight made it more clear that this had been happening like he was like no i will tell you firsthand what happened it wasn't you know they had a survivor's account basically right so uh more than a decade after neil stone child's death and because of the reported death of two other men and the survivor story

neil's case was reopened finally so meanwhile a fully white jury found constables dan hatchin and ken munson guilty of the unlawful confinement of Daryl Knight and sentenced them to eight months in jail. And from what I heard, it was just eight months in very low profile jail, like, you know, nothing, nothing too severe of a punishment, I would say. And it was decided in February 2003 that in September there would be an official inquiry into the death of neil stonechild headed by justice david wright so what seems like an incredibly like step an incredible step forward and like finally you know getting justice for neil right was pushed backwards when it was revealed that in 1998 uh neil stonechild's uh file the file that contained information on his death, had been destroyed by police during a routine purge of old files. Okay, sure. But we have a hero of the story.

We do? Who is it? A werewolf? His name's Ernie. Oh, okay. So Ernie was one of the constables on the Saskatoon police force. In 1990, he's a First Nations man. So Ernie was one of the constables on the Saskatoon police force in 1990. He's a First Nations man.

So there were three First Nations police officers at the time, including himself out of about 350 officers. So, again, this is just not great representation. You know, right. Three people. I get barely a fraction of the force. Yeah, exactly. When like 10% of the population is First Nations. So he thinks, from what he can remember, that there were about 10 to 15 women on the force,

one Asian Canadian and one African Canadian, and everyone else was white, except for obviously then him and two other of the First Nations officers. So speaking of Phoebe Judge on the Criminal Podcast, he said that as a First Nations officer, the death of Neil Stonechild and how the case was closed so quickly had been on his mind, so much so that he had decided he wanted to make a copy of Neil Stonechild's case so that he could take it home and read into it.

So he did this kind of sneakily. He didn't want to good like look i'm making photocopies of this case it wasn't illegal but it was definitely sneaky he had some people make um a copy for him of the case and he even went at the time to neil's mother stella um which by the way investigators had not gone to neil's mother to talk to her about this like so he was the only one to interview her as part of the case so's mother to talk to her about this like so he was the only one to interview her as part of the case so he went to talk to her uh he listened to her and her concerns about why she thought it was foul play and he left saying if this were a white kid or the son of the mayor

i'm sure this case wouldn't be closed right he then went to speak to sergeant keith jarvis to be basically like hey there's some misgivings here that i'm having about this case like it was closed really quickly neil's mother thinks there might have been foul play i think we should look into this and basically at least in the interview in a podcast episode he was like nothing good like that mean nothing good came of that meeting basically he was shunned he was like uh you have no idea what you're talking about. Stop meddling. And he said there was no thanks for bringing this information and nothing. And then Jarvis threatened Ernie saying things could, quote, happen to him if he continued with this.

Holy shit. And he basically said, like, that was so vague it could have meant anything from, like, he would have been sidelined to a desk position or, you something worse there was no way to know what threat what the threat meant um except that he was basically being like silenced uh so anyway we're back to 2003 and we find out as this case is being reopened that police have have mysteriously purged the files and they're missing and everyone's like frustrated and it's like well now what do we do and ernie is just happening to clean out boxes in his house. And he opens one that he hasn't opened in years. And on the top is literally Neil Stonechild's report.

And he's like, oh, my God, I'd forgotten. I made a copy of this like 13 years or 12 years earlier. So he happened to find this report while this case was going on. That's amazing. Okay. Yeah. So thank God because he had said like, I didn't even really remember. It didn't even occur to me that I had made my own

copy at the time. So he found this report, thank God, handed it in to be used for the investigation. And for the inquiry itself, there were 43 days of testimony, 63 people testified, including Ernie. And because the police force hadn't had obviously like car cameras or body cams or GPS at the time, it was like really hard to prove any objective facts. It was again in the early 90s also. So the whole team had to interview and re-interview all the witnesses. It was now 13 years later. So they had to like re-interview everybody to make sure this was like still fresh information um and obviously they hadn't really done much in the initial investigation so now they had to do a lot more legwork um so one of the most uh surprising things or just at least like shocking things to come out of this um case was that was the statement by jason roy who was the the kid that neil was hanging out with who drinking the fort the vodka with that night so he testified 13 years later and he said he had his name is jason roy he said he had phoned the saskatoon police at 6 52 p.m on november 30th

1990 and had spoken to sergeant jarvis in the mortality section and said he was originally reluctant to give a statement to the police because he was still subject to breach of probation and was concerned that he'd be arrested. And so he basically arranged with Sergeant Jarvis to provide a statement on condition that he not be arrested. So this is what Roy's statement said. Okay. He described how after leaving the house party around 11 30 neil stonechild convinced roy to join him and going to see his friend lucille who was babysitting a few blocks away they trudged drunkenly to the snowberry downs apartment complex where they caused a disturbance by not knowing which suite lucille was at so they buzzed a lot

of the different buzzers to try and find her. So somebody had called the police to be like, somebody's walking around buzzing all the apartments and disturbing the peace, basically, in the middle of the night. So that's how the police ended up there. I see. So the boys, I guess, argued,

and Jason Roy left Neil and headed back, and he said he thinks he stopped to warm up at a 7-11 from what he remembers okay as he walked south on confederation drive he says a police car emerged from an alley in front of him and stopped roy says stone child was in the back seat his hands were cuffed sorry his hands were cuffed behind his back there was blood on his face and he was calling roy by the name of jay presumably to like even even under this horrible situation to keep roy's identity safe he was calling his friend by another name to be like jay so he called him jay instead of jason roy he said jay help me help me these guys are going to kill me so and he's in the back of a

police car oh my gosh okay so the driver this is just really the driver asked him if he knew the youth in the back roy says and he says he denied knowing him denied knowing probably because identity safe or yeah because he said he feared he'd be arrested too exactly so when asked his name he gave the name and birthdate of his cousin uh tracy horse who he knew had no criminal record right so that when they ran the name he wasn't listed you know as breaking probation genius okay the poor tracy is like wait a second i live in like live not even, I don't even live here. I'm in bed watching Netflix. So they checked the name, allowed him to go. And as the police drove away, Neil seemed afraid and yelled, they're going to kill me.

And that was the last time that he had, that Roy had seen his friend. And then the friends just like went home, like just walked home or? Yeah, he was like really drunk. He said he just saw, he saw this happen, then went home. And then the next yeah he he was like really drunk he said he just saw he saw this happen then went home and then the next day neil was missing um imagine the guilt though like it must be really scary yeah to be like wait like i remember seeing him your last memory is your friend of your friend is him saying they're gonna kill me and then denying that you know him yeah exactly it must be tough it was scary scary thought um and it was like a

survival thing you know he was like i don't want to put myself in that position so um obviously this was like pivotal testimony it revealed so much about like what actually happened that night um and when rereading his handwritten statement that had been recovered by ernie uh roy said in 2003 that it was incomplete because it didn't include reference to Stonechild in the back of the police car. He said he had written an untruthful statement because he feared he couldn't tell the truth in a place where he did not feel safe, AKA the police station.

He says in his 2003 statement, I lied for my life because I thought whoever had done this would be coming for me. Sure. So he was scared to even admit like, Oh, I saw the police do this because again, no one's believing them. Right. Yeah.

And he could be targeted next. So after a more thorough inquiry, the police investigation was brought back by Ernie. And OK, here's a quote. It was considered superficial and totally inadequate and found that Sergeant Jarvis closed the investigation prematurely. And Ernie said Jarvis was not prepared to pursue the investigation because he was either aware of police involvement or suspected police involvement. The deficiencies in the investigation go beyond incompetence or neglect. They were inexcusable.

So this is Ernie testifying against the police force that he was on. Right. testifying against the police force that he was on right um so the key findings included that the two officers larry hartwig and bradley singer were dispatched to a disturbance involving neil stonechild at 11 51 p.m on november 25th 1990 they took him into custody he died of cold exposure in the early morning hours of november 25th there were injuries on his body that were most likely caused by handcuffsuffs and that jarvis sergeant jarvis was aware of the suspicions but closed the file less than three days after neil's death without answering many questions he dismissed important information about stone child's death

that was provided to him by two other members of the force because remember ernie was like hey i have some information and he was, get out of here. And then in the years that followed, senior officers also rejected or ignored reports from Stonechild's family, which pointed to the inadequate investigation, which just must be the most frustrating thing to be like the family and saying, like, can you please look into this? You're supposed to be protecting us and like solving these things. And instead you're causing them. Jesus. Solving these things and instead you're causing them. So the justice also had eight recommendations for the government and the police. He said the justice minister should undertake a thorough review of the Saskatchewan Coroners Act. The province should establish an introductory program through the police college for aboriginal and other minority police candidates there should

be an advisory board to encourage first nations people to get involved in policing the justice minister minister should review procedures about police conduct a pamphlet maybe a few maybe a few depending on how long they are one of those theme park stretch pamphlets yep um outlining the procedure should be placed in each police station interview and waiting room uh police departments in larger cities should designate an aboriginal officer to act as a liaison for first nations people on their behalf each municipal police force should provide the justice minister with an annual uh report of complaints right and police should receive in-depth training in race relations with refresher courses every three years

and a review should be undertaken of the courses that police candidates take in anger management and dispute resolution so that was all given by justice david wright however michelle stewart who However, Michelle Stewart, who writes for the Vancouver Sun, noted in an article in 2019 that they didn't these although these were, you know, based on race relations, they didn't address systemic race racism, which obviously nowadays is a very big conversation that we're having in the United States as well. As far as like diversity training, quote is not enough right um so neil's mother stella said she felt vindicated because she never believed the police's version of events saying they didn't want to deal with his death all they told me is was that it was an accident that he went out there by himself probably but in the bottom of my heart i knew he didn't wow so in may of 2004 saskatoon police admitted that the 1990 investigation was inadequate and that mistakes had been made. And the former police chief, whose name was Russell Sabo, apologized to Stella, Neal's mother, and held a conference where he said that it was quite conceivable there were other times that this happened.

So he's basically admitting it was possible that this was a pattern that had happened before he then went on to reference a 1976 case where officers had been disciplined for driving a native woman to the outskirts of town and abandoning her there so he's like i guess it's conceivable that it happened like in this one time when it like literally happened i didn't like the phrasing it's conceivable conceivable also you alone just now have made it clear that this has happened more than once men it's happened many times and also like you said earlier a lot of people at least from the first nations community have all said like yeah like are you new here like of course yeah we've been saying this forever and no one believed it so if everyone was saying like this is happening this is happening and someone goes it's conceivable it's like yeah i guess off like no you're right

it's like the bare minimum it's like what you were saying earlier like okay we've got the bare minimum now what like yeah it's just it's it's like okay thanks i guess but also what's next um yeah so it's a little frustrating um on October 26 of 2004, Justice Wright released the final report of the Stonechild inquiry that found that Stonechild was in the custody of Sanger and Hartwig on the night that he died. So Sanger and Hartwig were suspended with pay, by the way, suspended with pay. Excellent. And were then fired in November of 2004. So again, it's like a slap on the wrist type of thing. Yeah. Interestingly and demonstrative of Chief Russell.

So this same guy who was basically saying it's conceivable. So this police chief, he also reported how, sorry, a columnist for The Times reported how during like a morning briefing, police chief Sabo, who was asked by a member in front of about 20 officers, if he honestly believes in his mind that those two officers were responsible for Stonechild's death. He said, quote, my honest belief is that they did not do it. Oh, OK. A second veteran officer who remains anonymous backs him up saying it's all political these guys are just the sacrificial lambs so basically

they're fucking saying like i don't really think they did it but like we needed to pin this on someone to make everybody happy it's just fucking infuriating okay well which is why that language like conceivable is like it's like i mean also like it's like conceive well also going back to just the it's conceivable part it's not even the bare minimum because you're not even admitting you're still you're still saying it could not have happened you're right you're still denying it like yeah you're leaving chance for like oh uh or we could be totally innocent like exactly and this part of like oh it's just it's all political like it's all politics like no this is a child's death yeah i hate when people like when people accuse us of being political it's like

there's a certain point where this isn't fucking politics yeah okay yep pisses me off okay so despite this comment things did start to change in Saskatoon. Thankfully, the mayor was defeated in his run for reelection by a former officer who had broken ranks and spoke out at the inquiry. So that was great. So he had like spoken up and test and testified and he became mayor. Police chief.

That's a mayor. I want great. Take like, learn from this kids. If you speak out against corruption maybe you'll be mayor i don't know listen jerry springer was mayor of cincinnati if he could do it you could do it uh that's my motto great mayor too very actually was a pretty good mayor um i guess probably the bar is not too high nowadays for political figures but you know

go figure so uh he so police chief russell sabo who the conceivable guy mr conceivable was fired and for the first time a first nations woman was appointed to head the city police commission so that was oh okay um gps tracking systems are now standard in all cruisers and were instated after the report uh so new chief of police clive wykill commented if somebody were to accuse us of taking them out of the city i can go back three four five years i can tell you where car 234 was at two in the morning on january 25th i can tell you where that car went how fast it was driving and where it stopped so it's just adding a layer of like accountability yeah um so they have like an audio video system in front of

the cruiser and then they have an interior one that when the back door is open to put somebody inside it automatically starts recording so that's good nice um and they have no control like police can't turn them off and it also i mean it protects the public but it also the police themselves officers themselves are supportive of this because if there are false allegations made it just clears up any sort of falsehood on either side so if someone's saying you know oh they did this to me like they can say well here's the video proof right i didn't do that right as if you're if you're doing a good job i guess as you're as an officer then you like it then you're yeah yeah being held accountable and that's

fine by you but um so Wag Hill and others in the Saskatoon police have also been working to keep lines of communication open with aboriginal leaders um apparently the number of aboriginal police officers has nearly doubled since the inquiry uh so in 2014 according to the Star Phoenix there were 52 uh current aboriginal city police officers, which was a huge increase from the 30 who were there 12 years earlier. So increasing numbers of representation. Again, not necessarily enough. Pretty bare minimum stuff in a lot of ways. So this is pretty wild speaking of

according to cbc uh in 2016 a university student named addison herman who grew up in saskatoon was working on a project about police brutality uh and he uncovered that someone had been deleting the section on starlight tours from the saskatoon police services wikipedia page oh he's like someone's deleting this section. So he said, quote, I noticed there was no section on the Starlight Tour. So I looked in the article history and there was an IP address that took it off the page. Is it the fucking police department? Shut up.

I looked at the info for the registration on the ip address and that ip address is registered to saskatoon police service which means that a computer from their office went on wikipedia and took it off you would think they'd at least try to be like slicker than that exactly it's like speaking of accountability like really you think no one's watching and you go do that that's gross okay so remember earlier when i was saying intentional negligence that's just intentional intentional that's just exactly it's like we're just gonna like fucking erase this like we just want to cover this up we don't want you to see it and on the wikipedia page which i just went and checked it was like is it there now or police it's it literally says police aren't or

the you know the saskatoon police force has deleted this section before so it's like now in they made it worse by like deleting it because now it's public knowledge that they tried to delete it it certainly is now with this podcast it is exactly and it's still on their wikipedia so good luck uh in june 2020 the guardian reported how uh this is another just like so that was obviously it's coming from inside the house it's coming from inside the police station right's coming from inside the police station. Right. Bad. Then in June 2020, the Guardian also reported that Canadian police had tackled and punched a prominent First Nations chief named Chief Alan Adam of Fort Chippewan First Nation and had harassed his family in a parking lot in Alberta.

So this was literally a few months ago during the heat of police brutality conversations lighting back up. And that was when the guardian reported that canadian police had like literally attacked and punched a first nation's chief so again the stuff is just to point out that it's it didn't go away like it's not like smile in rainbows like it's all better obviously um so if you want to find out more there are two books you can read um ernie wrote a book called the unexpected cop and uh there's a book by suzanne reber and rob renault called starlight tours the last lonely night of neil stonechild and then the criminal

episode is also very very well done so that is the story of the starlight tours not starline tours in hollywood not to be confused please don't sue us hollywood um sorry also wow i still feel really really really bad about the my misunderstanding earlier of you not knowing which chief you were talking about i like feel like such an asshole but then i realized like later you know i was talking about chief sabo and like that was a white police chief so it was confusing because the terminology is the same i thought we were calling uh and like a corrupt cop an asshole right and not i mean we are now yeah not a like an indigenous chief i like yeah i want anyone to think i like no no i feel so bad i don't feel bad we i knew

what you were i knew what you meant i know it was like as like a normal fine misunderstanding and like i'm i'm sure no one thinks i'm like actually like a complete jackass but that's gonna be something i cringe about at 3 a.m for like the next eight years um no don't anyway i'm sorry but if we have to you can go back to cringing about calling me classy trash because i still love that well my what has there been so there was a was there a chief uh a police chief at all who was also a chief in the first nations because could they be like chief chief i oh i mean i don't know not in the story i don't know in general but it'd be cool if you could call yourself a double chief like i know in college there was a girl in all my classes who was a poli sci major and her last name was justice and she

wanted to become justice justice wait that's actually pretty fucking dope isn't that great so if there's a chief chief out there let me know Hit us up. Yeah. And I know there's also some talk of trying to remove terms like Chief, which have been taken from, which are appropriation. Things like, I remember in an early episode, we used the word powwow at some point. And that still haunts me as well, because we got emails about that. So terms like that, that are now like, obviously obviously i'm really trying to be more aware of that but i know that chief is another term that was appropriated as well so you know it's all just fucked up so welcome to america and well america as of this morning things will be fingers

cross changing so i'm very excited yeah it's a sliver of light let's let's listen in 2020 like at least we've got this yes at least we've got one thing something a win we needed a win a win yep yep yep i got a kitten and we have a new president so yeah oh sweet well uh anyway thank you guys so much uh sorry i know this is a longer episode than usual but i think we both were just like ready to go with our stories they were both yeah and was like it's saturday morning i'm tired and i was like let's talk for eight hours no i like what i'm it's one of those things like i refuse to wake up super early usually but like if i know i have to get up i can you know oh yeah be on because my reward after this is a fat nap so i'm like real excited to go what a nap oh my god also it's raining today in la so like what's that like well it's perfect aesthetic for me to

go home and take a fat nap oh actually perfect nap weather yes it's i'm gonna get a little cozy maybe like open like like the the side door and like listen to the rain trickle while i fall asleep oh it's gonna be so fun that's very calming well i hope you enjoy a little weighted blanket i'm gonna let you actually go enjoy that nap instead of making you talk anymore um no i'll have you send me pictures of your your cat and all that well i'll probably keep harassing you anyway we'll still be talking all right well thanks everybody for listening um you can probably see pictures of the cat or whatever on instagram um if you want moody and junie it's gonna be so you really have created something for yourself there i don't even know how that happened it's like literally they look like the exact opposites of each other and they

rhyme so they're like the perfect evil twins my sister calls them june shine and moon apart which makes me laugh okay that's that's comedy gold wait a minute i wait a minute okay all right thanks everybody and that's why we drink yay yay all right you