And That's Why We Drink - E238 Bagelbites with Italian Seasoning and a Summer Camp Forensics Degree

Episode Date: August 29, 2021

Who is the Italian Bagelbites? Tune in to Episode 238 to find out! Em covers a creepy kid story for Christine with the tale of Azzurrina the ghost child said to haunt Montebello Castle in Italy. Then ...Christine brings us a true crime that leaves Em speechless with its strangeness, the Maui Yoga Twin Case. Also, Em might be the Q'Anon home-wrecker... and that's why we drink!Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/drinkGo to reliefband.com and use promo code DRINK for 20% off your order and free shipping! Get $75 off your first order at Burrow.com/DRINKRight now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/DRINKGo to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in DRINK for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUSfree postage and a digital scale!Head to Rothys.com/DRINK to find your new warm weather favorites today!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 cool love that for us love that for us how's it going boo boo it's probably more stressful than i'm letting myself think is it your glasses again i I can't do this. No, it's not my glasses. I was just I'm just looking around and realizing all the things I need to do. And I just actively avoid. I was like, wow, I've got a messy room. And then where I'm actually leaving tomorrow with Allison to go be with her family for
Starting point is 00:00:37 a couple of days. And I know that means I need to clean this room today. So then I just got it. Listen, I love you. But you really have a bad habit of scheduling trips, last minute trips right before I leave, that end right before I leave on a trip. Where are you going? Connecticut for the baby shower.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Oh, right, right, right, right, right. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, now we have, it's, you're really good at that. I just got to say. You have a talent. I do what I can. For making our schedule really complicated oopsies i thought that was my job with the baby that's my look i'm taking advantage of it while it's like the last thing i have and then when you have the baby it'll be all you
Starting point is 00:01:16 thank you thank you throw a couple wrenches every now and then yeah i am i just keep the funeral i'm not blaming you for that was not your fault that was that was uncle alan's fault the bahamas was maybe like wait what but the bahamas i will take full responsibility that was a mistake that was a fucking mistake um no i should just start leaving microphones just all across the nation and just wherever i go i'll have i'll be prepped so we can record wherever i am yeah actually that would be nice anyway uh ask me why i drink before i ask okay why do you drink m i drink because i got in contact with nemo's dreamscapes i saw your post on instagram oh i wanted you to i wanted to surprise you on here i saw that it said like red alert and all this business.
Starting point is 00:02:05 And I was like, oh, my goodness, this is a red alert. Yeah. I asked them if they if they wanted to work together in any capacity one day. And to be fair, like there's like no actual solid plan. But we have spoken to each other and it might happen if we can figure something out. Connection has been made. I do like that they were like, what are you thinking i know they were like yeah let's do it they're like what does that mean i don't i don't i don't know if it'll ever happen but look all i know is that
Starting point is 00:02:35 they know who i am and honestly that's just like i'm already on mount everest yeah if you're like what is that nemo's dreamscapes is that thing Ems mentioned a couple times that they've also gotten me really into, which is like these. How do you like ethereal, like kind of how do you explain it? Like an audioscape? It's like, yeah, it's like it's a soundscape. It's like an ambience. It's an ambience. But it's a whole YouTube channel where you can click through different videos. But it's a whole YouTube channel where you can click through different videos. And they're pretty much they pretty much all have the same theme. But the the way that they're titled is what really caught me in the beginning where it was like you're in a train car in the 30s and it's storming outside and you're in the middle of a dream.
Starting point is 00:03:16 And it's like, whoa, you're reading the page three of the newspaper as a trolley walks by to deliver food on the train. It's like, wait, what? But they're so and it's like my favorite is when they're like really old timey music so it's like it sounds like um a phonograph like playing music in the background and there's like rain it's just like very soothing and i feel like when i write now i always play one and it just kind of so it's so easy to it's like just a white noise but it's always such a clever white noise. I was listening to one yesterday where it was like, you're taking a snooze on the couch and there are crickets chirping outside because it's summer dusk.
Starting point is 00:03:52 And I'm like, oh my God. I am. It's like, you're right. But anyway, I. Look at you making all these brand connections. You're like Tony's Chocolony. So Tony's Chocolony was, I think Tony's the one that reached out. You had we just had our own conversation.
Starting point is 00:04:12 We were like, oh, like you reach out to people. And I was like, I don't think I do. And then I was like, maybe I actually do it more than I wear. I had no idea. I feel like we have such different approaches sometimes to social media. And we don't know it about each other or even about ourselves maybe because like we just don't think about it. But like I found out like because we did an interview and this person was like, oh, yeah, Em, I found out you reached out to me like a year ago.
Starting point is 00:04:33 And I was like, wow, Em just like reaches out to people via DM. And I just don't ever think to do that. It's kind of smart. The worst part is I did not remember reaching out until they responded a year later. And then i went whoa this is embarrassing and now you have an actual like interview scheduled so it's like you have an actual business relationship now we ended up being on their show and then i was like well i guess it worked i guess i manifested it but also wow i wish i didn't take a year for a
Starting point is 00:05:00 response but anyway it's fine it's fine i never fault but do that i feel like i'm just not proactive in that way like if i enjoy something i'll just like let it sit i will say it has not been super successful i've gotten i tony reached out to me i think big t as i call him now uh and that worked out super well but i've like reached out to like pendleton blankets they basically were like no thank you well see part of the problem that i've noticed with these social meetings is that if you already give them a lot of credit there's like not as much incentive for them to like i know participate but with tony clearly that wasn't an issue for them but also i don't understand like i just don't know anything about like social media and like you know making like partnering with anyone because it's like why wouldn't you want to
Starting point is 00:05:50 bring someone on that already clearly actually genuinely loves your product like at least tony they knew i loved tony's chocolony maybe it's like sorry i keep every time the camera moves to me i'm in a different position because like my back is just in so much pain it's a fun little tour the slowest tour on earth here's my wallpaper yeah i was just shifting so you're gonna see the janky air conditioner in the corner um yeah i don't know i wonder if it's like because the only people i've ever worked with brand wise like it's basically just discovery plus now but it's because they emailed me like through instagram they just like hit nobody i think tony's the only person who's ever like actively reached out to me to be clear i i like i i've reached out to starbucks i was like hey lennon fogs was cooking okay that's okay that's a big reach and they were
Starting point is 00:06:35 like we're a multi-million dollar company we don't need you so you know i'm pretty sure they're like a billion dollar company not a multi-million dollar company. The point is I tried. But like, yeah, we've got Tony and that's all we need, I guess. Maybe Nemo's Dreamscapes. I mean, that's a good one. I feel like they're very, they're niche enough to be like a perfect fit. I don't know. I feel like it's hard with these kind of reaching out to people.
Starting point is 00:07:01 I'm looking up how much Starbucks is worth because I'm abused by it. And let me guess. I'm going three billion thirty billion so you're a little bit off with your multi-million dollar thirty billion it's starbucks it's like the biggest company in america not really but you know close i i just didn't even i just can't even process i can't even process that amount of money well i mean neither can i but how much is jeff bezos worth and why are you doing this it's it's not a good a fun game it's a it's a bad sad game it's a sad game um 193 billion dollars wow he has wow that's like what like five starbucks that's insane five starbucks okay anyway uh anyway so i don't know what the point of
Starting point is 00:07:48 this was anymore but um oh i'm excited for you with nemo's dreamscapes that's exciting oh yeah thank you and my my i did get um if you saw my unboxing i got a box of free chocolate so i mean like that's what i'm worth but i'm excited about it so hey that's a good time i got three months of discovery plus and now i just paid for it so like i'm happy i know i like as tony shakaloni came in with like they gave me like a package like a like a care package which was super nice and allison walked in the door with like actual bars that we purchased from the store in the same day so you're like a full household brand name yeah we. We literally have like 100 bars here. It's crazy. But I don't. It's like I'm trying to recreate Willy Wonka's factory.
Starting point is 00:08:28 You're doing a great job. Why do you drink, Christine? Besides the fact that Jeff Bezos is worth that much money. That's kind of now the new. I mean, it's always been the reason. But now it's kind of just added on. It's overshadowed everything else. Why do i drink um well um i have gotten to a point where
Starting point is 00:08:47 i'm really embittered toward this child because it is literally wedged wedged into my ribs and lungs to a point that like i can barely function it hurts so much um i have a hunch you're gonna be bitter about this child for many many many years for different reasons yeah i hope that that i hope there's at least a delay like i don't want them to be a day old and me being like ah you know but i'm a little bit over it i don't like i know some people are like i love being pregnant it's so magical and i'm like it doesn't feel good to me it doesn't feel nice like i'm not gonna lie uh it's not enjoyable most of the time but you know here we are like i think there's probably gonna be spurts in between your bitterness i think
Starting point is 00:09:31 there's gonna be like oh they have a bunch of fingers and toes and then they're gonna like poop on you and then you'll be like oh not again you know i think it just keeps happening over and over that's your parenting for the rest of your life yeah um yeah i feel like if a baby pooping on you is the most embittered you'll be towards somebody like you're living i'm very interested to hear about your first story with them having like a blowout i think that'll be pretty funny oh i mean i changed my sister's diaper from the day she was born till like whenever she stopped wearing diapers. So it's going to be like nothing to me.
Starting point is 00:10:08 I feel like I've changed so many freaking diapers in my life that it's not going to phase me. Blaze might be like thrown. Is there anything that you're more worried about? Like something you just like feel completely unprepared for? Like something as small as like changing diapers. Is there anything that's like really daunting to you? I am scared of walking around with the baby like down the stairs and stuff i just feel like they're so fragile and small i'm like scared of dropping them you know that's a good one that's a good one just but i feel like that's you know i just gotta be more careful than i usually am
Starting point is 00:10:39 which is not very careful oh it's fine anyway anyway i don't know why i drink except that i'm in pain and it's hard to sleep but you know again what part hurts like i know you said your ribs but is it all always your ribs or is it just like right now your ribs and later it'll be something else um lately it's been the ribs for several days so i think that's the new hot spot it's like wow that must be fun fun experience and i think eventually the baby's supposed to drop down to your pelvis before you give birth that makes sense so i'm waiting for that because apparently it means suddenly you can breathe a lot better but it doesn't mean now they're on your bladder so you have to pee a lot more which i can't fathom since i already pee every five minutes.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Oh, my gosh. Fun fact. Anyway, this is so boring. I'm sorry. But, yeah, it just doesn't feel great. And otherwise, you know, Live in the Dream Blaze and I are touring the birthing place tonight. That's fun. They give you a little tour.
Starting point is 00:11:40 I know. I booked a little tour, and they're going to show us the rooms and stuff so I can mentally prepare for what to bring and what not to bring and all that good stuff wow did you just sneeze bless you I coughed and my coughs sound like sneezes I never can tell you know I can't either anymore sometimes people be like bless you and I'll be like you yeah okay here anyway anyway here's one last thing that i keep meaning to bring up yesterday was mooney's birthday and i'm just so proud of him and i love him so much that's that's all happy birthday how long have you had moonshine now um we got him in november of last year whenever really it's only been that long yeah because we got him after halloween he was like a post halloween cat i wanted a black cat um i thought it was longer than that but that's so sweet nope and he was three months old so yeah he was born in august and he's a year old now and i made a
Starting point is 00:12:36 little post on instagram about how he takes showers with me washes watches a toilet flush um drowns all his toys in his water bowl. So sweet. He's just like a little, I don't know if he's well adjusted, probably not. No one in your home is. No, certainly not. If they were, that'd be concerning. But yeah, so that's all. Happy birthday, Moonshine.
Starting point is 00:12:58 And does that mean in a couple months, Mr. Geo's having his little birthday? That's correct. The Scorpio. It'll be right after the baby's born so he'll be like actually remember this is about me he's like don't worry i actually reign here but thank you it's nice that you stopped by it's been fun for you to have a few weeks to yourself but my birthday's gonna be six oh fuck yeah he's gonna. He's going to be a big boy. He's a big boy. Aw. All right.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Well, this story I want to tell you, by the way, has to do with potentially your baby because it's a creepy little child. Yes. Love creepy little children. Let's do it. Also, it's a creepy little child we feel sad for so there is that oh there's that caveat okay but this is the story of and i'm saying it in the most horrid american accent even though it's italian azarina so the story name azarina so
Starting point is 00:14:00 azarina is a spirit that happens to be in one of the most haunted castles. But she really overtakes every story. Because I tried to do a whole... My whole topic was originally going to be the castle and everything you could find in the castle. Oh, and she's the protagonist. Yeah, in every single article. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The castle's really, really, really, really haunted with so many things.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It's insane. But Azarina. And I'm like okay okay queen bee we get it taking a stage so i don't actually know and how many in other ways i don't know in full detail how else this castle's haunted but as arena is alive and well over there so well sort of she's alternately alive so it's one of italy's most famous castles and also one of the most haunted castles the castello di montabello um which is now a museum in rimini i think i saw on one website i think they do wine tastings there i'm i'm not sure if that's accurate but i thought it was a fun fact so a town in italy oh at the castle you mean at the castle yeah oh fun okay it's a museum that i think i think does like has a wine bar or something there i'm very into that yeah well i wanted to throw it in but then i couldn't find it anywhere else so but yeah you're right it's literally italy
Starting point is 00:15:21 in my mind that everyone's just always carrying a glass of wine. Correct. My castle allegedly has a lot of other spirits and activity. Apparently there's lore about elves and there's even a hidden treasure story. I'm sure there's other ghosts involved, but again, Azarina came onto the scene and everyone was forgotten. gotten so uh the history of azarina starts in 1370 when guendolina malatesta was born sure sure sure sure sure sure guendolina malatesta that's beautiful very look more m schultz okay okay i didn't really like put i didn't really wow it really adds some perspective there huh one one has like music behind it and it's m schultz and it's me um so guendolina malatesta was born in 1370 she was the uh child of the lord and his lady uh of montello. So they lived in the castle. And she was their first kid. When she was born, though, she had albinism.
Starting point is 00:16:31 So for people who don't know, that is when you don't have any pigment or like melanin production in your skin, hair and or eyes. And so you're incredibly pale and like your hair is white or maybe like a really light shade of blonde. Your eyes are sometimes a different color. But in the Middle Ages, albinism was basically an omen of misfortune. Yeah, let me guess. Something terrible, just like being left handed.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a lot of people who dealt with this were accused and murdered for witchcraft like i mean all this kind of stuff so when guendalina was born she especially because she was born to someone in power they were afraid that either she was going to get attacked or people were going to be worried about their their their community in danger and so they decided that they were going to keep her as a secret. No, no, no, no. This never ends well. And they were going to protect her from the angry townspeople.
Starting point is 00:17:33 So again, they named her Gwendolyna because this was the Italian version of Gwendolyn, which apparently in Gaelic means fair. So at least they described her well. But also if they're trying to be discreet, like that's like, it's like your baby's name is fair and also is so fair you won't show her to the world. So your baby that doesn't exist.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah, exactly. And so, by the way, her name might also be Adelina or nicknamed Delene. Apparently there was a priest around the year 1600 who is the one who really pushed this story of Azarina, but used a different name in it. And so we don't know which name is actually the true one and if the other one was inspired or something. But Azarina is the name that she's known by. But some stories... Wait, so Gwendolyna is Azarina?
Starting point is 00:18:24 Gwendolyna becomes Azarina. Yeah. I just haven't gotten there yet. Sorry, this note probably came too early. But Gwendolyna becomes Azarina. But they also refer to her in some other versions as Adelina. It's a bunch of names that could either be true or not true. But the one that we care about is Azarina.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Okay. And she becomes named azarina because so she never left the house but while she was inside she picked up like so many insane awesome skills uh where like she was super intelligent for her age she could play instruments without actually like being taught how to like read music um she was a seamstress a really well a really good seamstress she taught herself all about like herbs and plants and how to like create medicines and dyes out of them apparently she hummed in french which how do you do that actually yeah i do that too i can do that i hum and cling on which is crazy but um wait you want to hear it oh are you serious yeah
Starting point is 00:19:27 okay for a second i was like am i an asshole for like making the klingon joke like can you someone actually hum in french yes i just played it for you right you're right you're right i can also sew really well oh i don't believe you okay um i've seen you take curtains and nail them directly to the wall so i've seen what you do with fabric and it's i know don't make fun of fabrics and cloth like that so sorry so like fun fact when i say all these things like she learned how to like make dyes out of plants and shit she was like still a child like she was still a little kid and so when her parents realized how incredible she was they felt bad that she they were like holding her hostage in this castle and they were like okay let's give her a disguise and that way she can
Starting point is 00:20:21 go out into the world and like be awesome so they they used this, apparently it's called a guada plant. Okay. And they thought, okay, we can at least dye her hair black. And then people just think she's super pale, but like her hair will be black. And fun fact, this plant is what they, I don't know if they still use it, but more recently it was used for the color of jeans for denim oh interesting so apparently with her hair i don't know if it was because of the albinism or it was just for some other reason the plant and the dye itself didn't work against her hair okay
Starting point is 00:20:57 and like it like chemically wouldn't stay in and become jet black and so since it is also used for denim you can guess where this is going her hair ended up accidentally being blue oh i was like i cannot guess where this her hair becomes jeans she's the inventor of jeans i don't know she's the original wrangler so apparently there was apparently no way to get the dye out so she was just left at the moment for blue hair and so she ends up getting the nickname azarina which means the little blue one i see okay i get it nickname got it got it yeah make sorry i that one uh bullet came a little too early but um so even though the main story is that regardless whether or not her name was Adelina or Gwendolyna, it ends up she ends up being known as Azarina because of her blue hair. But then there's a whole other skepticism behind this, because apparently even with that plant at the time, the the items that she could have used to make dye for her hair couldn't have gotten her
Starting point is 00:22:06 hair all the way to blue it would have been like at best green so there's a whole theory of like oh this story can't be true because there's no way this girl had blue hair and thus there would have been no way her name was azarina don't they don't know that maybe her hair just had a certain because of the pigmentation issue, maybe the green turned blue. Who knows? Maybe it was, yeah. Or maybe it was teal and we went with the green side, not the blue side. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I mean, come on. Anyway, just giving you the facts, my friend. That seems like a really nitpicky skepticism. That's what you're going to cling on to? Cling on to? Hey, I'm in that. I should have gone with that. that sorry i would have understood nobody else would have though yeah and again like maybe it was because the her her hair works differently
Starting point is 00:22:53 maybe there's like chemically it just you know reacted differently or maybe she was like a five-year-old genius who was so good at plant dyes she created blue and nobody else could like who knows but so now to i guess really protect her because now she stuck out like a sore thumb even more a quote uh she they like locked her away or made sure she stayed in the closet in the closet lol in the castle wow what a turn whoa that was freudian um so they were they decided that they were going to keep her locked in the castle as before, but now they're even giving her guards in case like anyone sees her from a window or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Oh my gosh. Poor child. So yeah, she's like now extra protected by two guards. Fun fact, their names were Domenico and Ruggiero. Aw. And so she's just a little kid with blue hair walking around the castle she's got two guards so far it sounds like the life like it sounds like she's got like bodyguards eloise at the plaza at that point you know but like make it punk with her blue hair i love it so then
Starting point is 00:23:58 june 21st 1375 the summer solstice i don't know if this part's true i only saw this on one source and i don't know if someone's trying to like make this story have more flowery fluff to it or maybe this is legitimate and no other site seemed to cover this but on the summer solstice apparently her parents would tell her oh this is the day where fairies come to visit good kids and you can like ask them to grant you a wish uh so i guess she was like waiting around all day for the fairy to stop by you know um from being in the closet that i just mentioned so yeah right oh the fairy is right yeah yeah yeah uh haha gay joke okay so so i don't know if that part has anything i didn't see that anywhere else about the fairies i just thought oh that's cute
Starting point is 00:24:45 but i don't know if that's legitimate or not maybe they just took it kind of like um oh that is like a tradition back then like i'm assuming like people are maybe they're assuming that that's what happened since that was like a tradition or something i don't know yeah i have no idea but i i threw it in because if it's like it if it's a an actual part to the story i wanted to keep it in but so azarina was sitting uh by the window all day listening to people outside partying because it was the summer solstice allegedly waiting for the fairy to arrive and she was playing with uh a ball she was bouncing a ball oh no she did not jump out the window i know what i know what that sounds like okay i was like no don't tell me okay no she's just playing with a ball but you know what's
Starting point is 00:25:33 we again another a random source i didn't see this anywhere else but some people said that she was playing with a ball that she made out of rags like which is so sad like she just had like a musical like an orphan annie situation like a little cloth tumbleweed basically yeah you think that like being in a castle and being like the child of royalty that like at least they'd give you a ball to play with like yeah they should at least feel guilty enough to give you a legitimate toy but they somewhere it said like made of rags that she like as a professional seamstress at five she had made the rags herself into a ball oh they were okay then a good point they were probably like a professional about they were probably like a real volleyball and she had
Starting point is 00:26:14 just like sewed them together to look yeah it was like actually probably like uh like a volleyball but she just like made a bunch of doilies to cover it or something. It's just a lace volleyball. She created it herself. So I don't think it was a rag ball because all those stories keep saying like the ball was bouncing around. And I'm pretty sure rags don't bounce. That seems like not the kind of fabric I know of. But again, I'm no professional seamstress. Maybe it's like a latex rag.
Starting point is 00:26:42 I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know. We could get crazy with it. And, you know, 1375, we were just riddled with latex rag. I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know. We could get crazy with it. And, you know, 1375, we were just riddled with latex rag balls. It was just like rubber. Yeah, all sorts of fun experiments. So anyway, if it were a story about a ball made of rags,
Starting point is 00:27:01 the story goes that the wind picked up the ball of rags. But in every other story, it went, the ball she was bouncing bounced away from her. So you take your pick at which version you'd like to run with and so anyway she ran after it down the hall and i guess the ball bounced somewhere near the basement because uh her two guards uh dominico and rogerio heard a scream near the ladder going down towards the basement and so they run to go check on her but she was never seen again you tricked me you made it sound like nothing bad was going to happen out of this i said she wasn't going to jump out of a window yeah you really use specific words there semantics this is what i'm talking about okay okay my friend yeah yeah you just bullied me with semantics i yeah i okay yep
Starting point is 00:27:47 here i am professional gaslighter just just throwing you for a loop professional gaslighter i like how she's like a seamstress and all this stuff and we're just fucking professional gaslighters and semantics complainers she made a rag ball bounce you tell me she's not a professional okay or float so like something like really that it shouldn't be doing she could and she hummed in french the whole time okay so anyway so yeah they heard a scream and she really was never found again so the guards looked for her the family looked for her they looked not only all around the castle but apparently in like the little tunnels of the castle and in a sick twist of false hope which i guess is what you would call me telling the story um and a sick twist of false
Starting point is 00:28:34 hope one of the guards while looking for her heard her voice shout out like papa i'm here my my ball like what papa i'm here my ball dot dot wait why why is that a sick twist of hope because even though he heard her voice she was not there so eventually azarina's guards were put to death for negligence for their whole job was to watch watch the rogerio uh and theories to what actually happened to her are that the first one she was actually a witch and vanished oh for god's sake okay uh let's see the others was that she could have actually legitimately fled the castle by herself at five and nobody noticed the like blue haired super pale kid that represents bad luck and she just like made out like a bandit or they did see her and they did something and
Starting point is 00:29:31 hurt her and no one ever found her again the other one is that she was kidnapped by someone who found out about her when she went down to the basement and another is that her father set her up for a murder. Because she was a setback to his reputation and career. So any of those are plausible. I'm sure there's other things that could have happened too. But she today to this day is said to haunt the castle. And she's heard laughing or crying in the halls. And apparently people have seen flashes of blue. People have seen an
Starting point is 00:30:05 apparition of her holding a ball no one has made clear if it's made of cloth or not that's all i want to know it's all i want and others have heard her running around or again calling for her dad so she just so she just vanished she's not like she was found dead at the bottom of the stairs or something nope and i wonder if i i wonder if they couldn't like call the police or something and say like we lost our kid because they didn't even like know that the kid was born were there police i mean this is 13 something i don't know so a night they didn't call a night i'm assuming that the search party probably had all sorts of you know rather intelligent or high up people i guess they didn't they nobody found her is where we end up so but yeah so that's how she
Starting point is 00:30:54 haunts the castle to this day people see her apparition they hear running crying poor baby laughing uh her calling for her dad i i'm sure they've also heard a ball bouncing around or floating in the wind and um the main legend though is that every five years on the summer solstice which is the day she died um she will appear and so that it specifically means every five years when a year ends on zero or five which is so nice for people that like probably have some like version of ocd can you imagine if it was like every five years but it starts on every year that ends on a two or a seven like yeah it's like it's so wild like an odd number yeah so i think it's because either because she died when she was five or because the year she died was 1375 i don't
Starting point is 00:31:48 know i don't know why but every five years if the year ends on a zero or five the uh the summer she appears on the summer solstice maybe she's like replaying her life being up until five every year and then when she dies it's like her death day again she's literally on a lifetime loop cycle oh my god wow i don't know oh my god wow okay that's actually like i don't know if it's a solid theory but it's i mean there's there's no way it's more or less right than what other people are thinking carried away by the wind but for now we'll take it so uh since she only shows up on years it was zero or five when the castle itself became a museum in 1990 ever since then 90 1990 95 2000 2005 2010 there has been investigators there looking for her on the summer solstice wow especially the university of it's spelled like baloney is it baloney yeah baloney okay thank you
Starting point is 00:32:53 i i knew it was wrong uh especially the university of baloney who they have since 1990 they have come every five years to investigate so in 1990 the investigation team caught audio of potential crying of a little girl potentially crying which apparently they like people know now is like the sound you can hear the sound like the recording itself um if you go on a tour there like they i guess you know they already had it recorded and so the university left it with the castle and so now if you go on tours they will show you that audio wow in 1995 they also got they came back and got audio of bells a toy ball bouncing so that confirms one theory might answer the question a girl's voice saying mom which i'm confused by because like in the 13th and like 14th century italian would you say mom or would you say and i don't
Starting point is 00:33:52 think you would even say now yeah yeah i would imagine to be like mama or something yeah and then in 2000 apparently like in real time they heard a little girl crying, but I don't know if they got audio for it. In 2005, they heard a voice that said the name Alasio. Okay. Okay. And then very oddly, here's a quote because it just sounds so out of character for this story. They also heard in 2005, quote, a chorus of voices chanting Belial, which is the old Hebrew word for the devil. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:34:28 That can't be good. A bunch of voices just chanting the devil's name is what they got. Out of nowhere, we were all wondering, this seems like the nicest version of A Ghost Possible, where it's like, oh, just playing with her ball, she's got blue hair, cool cool little kid and now it's just like the devil the devil you know and also there's like ancient rituals yeah what yep so anyway that's what they got in 2005 uh in 2010 i don't think they if they got something i don't know about it but other people have also investigated outside of just the the university of bologna there is a team literally called ghost hunters rome i love that and they have so on their team is someone named danielle cipriani who is in my mind italian bagel bites yes bagel bites with italian seasoning and then
Starting point is 00:35:18 we've got that's good alessio alfredo and walter because there's always gonna be a walter why is there always a walt and when they investigated this is translated from google so wish me luck but this is luck actually i did i went through it and and like paraphrased so i'm not reading the actual things but according to google translate these are the things that happen to them so they when they first got into the castle they set up eight different cameras in the most active rooms including the room where azarina vanished or where they think she vanished somewhere near the basement and when checking out the room the door in the basement had higher electromagnetic levels than the rest of the castle and it began to vibrate when they got near them or when they got near
Starting point is 00:36:02 the door and they used an emf detector the one with the lights that go from green to red based on intensity they asked the spirit to turn off the lights on the machine because i guess it was all the way to red and they watched the machine go down all the way to green tick tick tick yep uh so that was an intelligent response later that night while they were all sitting with the monitors up in one room just like looking at what the cameras were seeing they heard a loud scream and when they checked the monitors in one room one of the cameras picked up that in azarina's room where she vanished one of the investigators in there like fell over and collapsed in the room and was
Starting point is 00:36:41 seemingly having a seizure oh no um when they came when they ran over to him to see if he was okay uh one of them had an emf detector in their hand and it spiked as soon as she got in the room and when he came to he didn't know who people were for 15 minutes until he started behaving normally again to be fair this could have literally just been like a seizure or something like like could have nothing to do with the castle it could have just been like a seizure or something like nothing to do with the castle. It could have just been like really awkward timing. Yeah. But that's like arguably the scariest thing I found about Azarina is that it happened in the room she vanished. But it also does seem out of character because she seems to like not have ever caused issues like that before.
Starting point is 00:37:20 It could be one of the other ghosts that never even got a chance to be mentioned because as it seems like there's other shit going on too yeah yeah i mean the castle's been around like at least since the 1300s i think i saw on one website it's been around since the fourth century so like cool cool cool i'm pretty sure there's other ghosts there and maybe they're like hey if you want to really ghost hunt like i'm here you know like yeah yeah so who knows or it could have really been a medical emergency so uh fun fact in 2020 there was a horror movie about azarina that came out and it was shot in the castle itself and weird things happened during filming including the director getting it including the director getting an unknown illness or it
Starting point is 00:38:02 could have been covid we don't know an unknown know in 2020 that's yeah nothing to mess around with and apparently an actor got injured in a weird way but anyway it was there is a movie filmed about azarina that was filmed in the castle how wild is that though like that as the little girl you died in 13 something and then like every five years you're just replaying replaying and then like eventually in 2020 of all like so much later they're like filming a video about a movie about you you probably don't even can't grasp what's going on that just is such a wild thought it's yeah suspension of time i don't know i wonder how i wonder as a ghost who's been around since the 1300s if you see someone come in from 2020 are you like oh you look like how like what how do you gauge how much time has passed yeah and like do you or do you just think you're still living the same
Starting point is 00:38:58 time i guess i mean i guess it depends because remember what was that it was the the hotel in in fort worth where like half the ghosts knew what year it was and half of was that it was the the hotel in in fort worth where like half the ghosts knew what year it was and half of them thought it was still like the 40s or something oh my god like some of them knew it was 2020 and some of them thought like eisenhower was president or something it was weird uh fun fact uh and i'm gonna leave on this is that the castle's mascot is an albino peacock oh that's fun it's a nice little tie-in to azarina it is like albinism and also the blue of the peacock so oh wait that's so true i didn't think of that i wonder if the peacock's name is azarina but
Starting point is 00:39:36 kind of cute anyway if you ever wanted to go check it out it is the castello di montabello i really like that story um yeah and that's different as arena i expected the story to be longer and have like more ghost information but she really just stole the show so i mean it sounds like that's what she's good at that's what she's best at like leave her be she she was alive for five years and like had no friends and like the fairy never showed by the way. Honestly, all she wanted was to wait for that fairy, play with her homemade ball of rags. Maybe dye her hair with all of the herbal science she's been learning.
Starting point is 00:40:16 I love that they're like, let's dye her hair. And they're like, oh, shit, now it's blue. I know. She just can't get it right. You got what you wanted, kind of. She definitely looks different. Anyway, there you have it. What a sad and interesting story.
Starting point is 00:40:31 So has Bagel Bites ever gone there? Probably not, right? I didn't see anything. I don't know. Sounds like the University of Bologna has a hold on this place. They were like, we've got Ghost Hunters Rome, and that's all we need. Yeah, GHR is here. You don't need to step in. Thank you, though. Yeah, no, I haven't heard anything about it. Rome and that's all we need yeah GHR is here you don't need to step in thank you though
Starting point is 00:40:45 they uh yeah no I haven't heard anything about it but then again if it's just like one allegedly one after like centuries allegedly one ghost who is allegedly kind it's almost like he would just not even be interested in going it's allegedly kind yeah wow well that was good em i liked it thank you i just found out about this i know i literally just talked up tony's this whole time but i just found this chocolate can't this chocolate store that i really wanted to try but i guess during covid it like shut down no which one did it shut down i saw oh i clicked on the website and it says we'll be back soon no i don't know if you will it's called nom nom chocolate but there is from the uk i just it was like they did a vice video about the company it was like an 18 year old kid who like i guess
Starting point is 00:41:42 really liked willie wonka or something and the website that about said made with milk magic and mischief at the abandoned chocolate factory excuse me that's very cool all of the flavors were like insane and they smelled i don't know how he did it but he he made the chocolate smell like old books so What? So it's like that smell that everyone really loves. Where you crack open an old... Yeah, apparently the chocolate smelled like that on purpose, but then all the flavors... It's just dusty. Just trash.
Starting point is 00:42:15 It has mildew and dust all over it. Anyway, I wanted to try it out, and it looks like it is not around anymore. So was it like a website you would have ordered from or is it like in California? No, it's from the UK. Got you. But anyway, I was just, I was checking my Facebook memories and apparently I had posted that video.
Starting point is 00:42:35 So I went to go. Your Facebook is so funny. I like rarely go on Facebook. Whenever I do, it's just like M's memes all on my timeline. Well, I'm trying to combat all of my like q anon family that still follow me i feel like if i if i post like hey get a fucking vaccine i'll at the very least piss them off you're like a left-wing boomer you're like doing the activities but like i'm doing what i mean the only way the only way to get their attention is on facebook they don't have anything
Starting point is 00:43:04 else and so every time that i see that they post something like really horrid i just counteract it so at least our other family members are seeing both sides of a picture so that's a fair point anyway because i saw making funny for that no i'm look i'm trying to be a superhero do you mind one of them i i did find out i won't say who but one of my uh conspiracy theorist family members apparently their spouse trying to keep it as vague as possible their spouse called me oh is this in the episode no no this is like what just happened in my real life oh you're just keeping it vague for me i'm keeping it vague oh yeah i'm keeping it vague for the episode so nobody knows what i'm talking about well would this so this is in the episode sure yeah it's vague enough yeah oh okay well sure okay i didn't know this was part of the show
Starting point is 00:43:53 all right sorry hi everybody one of the uh one of my family members is like so deep in that their spouse called me and said that like i've been seeing your facebook posts and like i don't agree with them anymore and i was like hey so i feel like i'm oh i thought they meant they don't agree with your posts anymore they don't agree with their spouse anymore yeah because they were also deep in the kool-aid so and you're sharing memes somehow uh pulled them out of q anon it had them i guess do more actual legitimate research versus the do your own research you know what i mean lol anyway and then i told them to go listen to the q anon episodes when they're alone uh of my podcast and they won't yeah when they're not near
Starting point is 00:44:38 other people go go really learn about it through my podcast that's how i said it to her you're like a q anon homewrecker you're just like i'm trying look if that's the way if if i'm gonna be a homewrecker it's superhero indeed it's nice to unbrainwash somebody in the process so i love it well emothy i have a story it feels like it fits your theme. Not your theme, but like, it's about two sisters. Okay. Their names are Alexandria and Anastasia. So, like, I feel like it sort of fits. And Azarina.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Azarina, exactly. Yeah. It's kind of like the song in the beginning of The Little Mermaid when all of Ariel's sisters are singing about themselves and they all sing their name. Like Ariel has six older sisters and they all start with an A and they're all just going down the line singing their own name. It could be like Anastasia, Alexandria, Azarina and Ariel. Oh, I totally thought you were literally going to say it's like the song Gasolina. What? Everybody has a arena.
Starting point is 00:45:49 I don't know. That's where my head went. And I couldn't pull myself out in time to think about the Little Mermaid. So I apologize. No, you're okay. My references are from 2005 and yours are from the 90s. Mine are from 89. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Well, everybody has a arena. are from mine are from 89 okay well everybody as arena this is the story of the maui yoga twin case okay it's a lot of words but they'll make sense eventually maui like in hawaii yoga twin case okay i don't know what to do with any of those words yet okay it feels like i it could go a lot of directions so i'm gonna i'm gonna keep it uh i'm just gonna let you do your job and i'm gonna sit back and do my job and just just embrace the story okay great fantastic so are you oh no wait are you prepared later to tell us the size of your baby? Yes, absolutely. Okay. Am I prepared?
Starting point is 00:46:47 Listen, my apps are at the ready. Always. Don't worry. Okay. Perfect. Okay. So May 29th, 2016, 37-year-old twins Alexandria and Anastasia Duvall plummeted off a 200-foot cliff in Maui, Hawaii while in their SUV.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Is that what you expected to happen i know and even if i did it was not going to be that immediate it was not like i thought i had like a little bit of time to banter before it got really sad okay we'll have some bantering don't worry um miraculously alexandria who was driving survived the crash but her sister anastasia died upon impact and apparently there's a show on oxygen called accident suicide or murder which is exactly what it says in the title and they try to figure out if it was an accident suicide or murder on the show oh hey that's you know straightforward i appreciate it you know at a certain point someone who was pitching that show who said like this is the title of it, you didn't even have to do the rest of the pitch. They were probably just saying, this is the working title, and they were like, we don't need to come up with anything different. Probably, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:52 We'll just call it that. So at the time, Alexandria was charged with second-degree murder of her sister. Whoa. I know, it's intense. But some had speculated that there was no way Alexandria could have expected to survive the wreck, which also makes sense if you're plummeting off a 200 foot cliff. So they didn't know if this was intended to be a double suicide or just an accident. So Alexandria and Anastasia Duvall were born in 1978 in Utica, New York. Shout out to the office.
Starting point is 00:48:20 But their names were Allison and Ann. So they changed their names later it's like your azaria thing again or whatever her name is so that's now we've got five sisters let's start with an a we just need one more and then ariel and then we'll have all seven daughters of triton so yeah yeah sure um i've watched that movie maybe once as a child or a few times and i just don't remember any of it so what a shame oh well okay they were born as allison and ann i don't know how to pronounce her last name d-a-d-o-w dadow i assume d-a-d-o-w yeah dadow dadow so ann was born 42 minutes older than allison and growing
Starting point is 00:49:02 up the twins had always been super close, not only because of like the twin cliche, but because their mother died suddenly in 1983 when they were five years old. There's another parallel to your story, five years old. And the pain and grief of this brought them even closer. According to an article by Loretta Pulaski on Inquisitor, their father, a doctor, indulged his twins and older daughter, Amy. Oh, there's the other sister. Amy. Holy crap. You're kidding me.
Starting point is 00:49:28 They all started with A. And now our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you. And it's Ariel. I wasn't expecting that. Somehow I wasn't prepared. You really weren't expecting me to sing a version of Little Mermaid at some point? After all that, I somehow hadn't mentally prepared myself for you to actually sing it, which, wow.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Okay. That's, again, not, that's not on me. That's not on you. That's on me, and I fully take responsibility. So, anyway, they have an older sister named Amy, who just, like, never really shows up much anymore. So she's just kind of that sister. Okay. Which is probably for the best for her.
Starting point is 00:50:01 But, so, the father, their father, a doctor. Triton. Triton. You know, Dr. Triton indulged his twins and older daughter Amy as they grew up in Hartford, New York. As high schoolers, they were given thousands of spending dollars, like thousands of dollars of spending money. And they wore designer clothes, including Chanel and Armani. Meanwhile, I remember saving up for a pair of converse that i bought out of a magazine like a catalog i mean i did that with a um it's not clothing but you know how everyone at the time and by the way still should
Starting point is 00:50:38 be but no one is obsessed with um blow-up furniture like i god i fucking loved blow-up furniture i don't know why people stopped using that because it doesn't work um it worked fine for me and the the one that i got had like like a it was fuzzy so it was fuzzy blow-up furniture it was such a thing the best it came with a little hasik oh my god it was so nice that was the kind of furniture was it inflatable no but like what piece of furniture it was like a like a chair like beanbag size chair with a little foot thing oh okay okay because i'm picturing i don't know i feel like those little sofas never like stood the test of time hang on hang on hang on fuzzy inflatable i'm pretty sure i've seen it at your house in maybe i saw something inflatable at your house once, but I guess that could have been a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:51:28 It could have been many things. Yeah, I don't know where it is. It's too old. I don't even know if there would be a picture on the internet at this point of it. Did you buy it out of a catalog? We bought it out of a PB team, my friend. Yeah, I think so. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Maybe that's why. Maybe mine were all just really dollar store trashy ones that's why they didn't last but oh pb team was expensive oh my god pb teen i every time a catalog came to the house i lost my mind for pb i did too i i remember i got a quilt once from pb teen and like we still have it um and it was like the hugest splurge ever because the shit's expensive that p pbt even now it still exists and i sometimes buy shit from it i still have when i go home the the bedspread i use is the one i got from pbt and i refuse to get rid of it it was really nice stuff so cool looking it's
Starting point is 00:52:16 expensive um anyway cattle i read recently that like our age is like it's it's a really narrow window of people who of adults who remember who grew up using the internet but remember a time before the internet which is like a very specific window because we grew up using it and we've we adapted to it like as it grew but then we also remembered when we couldn't depend on the internet and like oh absolutely from catalogs and shit so it's a cool like i remember when i was 10 i had to go i mean the internet was like i'm not saying the internet wasn't there but like not everyone had a computer in their house like there wasn't like if you use the internet it was at a library maybe if your library had internet yet or your school and everyone had there was like a computer in the school that had that had internet so like every single person in the school who wanted to do their homework or had
Starting point is 00:53:09 a project had to share or like check out time like slots for the computer and i remember i had to do a project about tractors and we didn't we didn't have the internet to use and so my dad just took me to lowes oh. Oh my God. It's just, that's how you learn. I don't know. It's better than going to the library to read books. You actually get to go to Lowe's and look at tractors. I think he knew he was like, you are not going to go to the library and actually genuinely read and retain information about tractors.
Starting point is 00:53:38 So let's just go look at a tractor. Yeah. Anyway. So fun fact about our age is that we're the only ones to grow up using the internet but remember a time before the internet and that's never gonna happen again because yeah people weird little niche yep good for us okay so good for us anyway they had chanel armani etc i had one pair of vans that i was really proud of and it killed from 18 oh that's where we were oh yeah that's where we were uh a former schoolmate remembers they'd wear gold and carry 800 wallets
Starting point is 00:54:09 wow 800 so wait the thing that you're using to hold your money cost that much money and it was probably chanel or some shit meanwhile in high school we another craze that i hopefully never comes back and we were wallets I had a duct tape wallet yeah I did too um I had a Daniel Radcliffe duct tape wallet oh I was that that kid there was always one kid at school who made and sold duct tape wallets for other people I made all the duct tape my friend Minji made them and she made me a Daniel Radcliffe one loved it like it's a it was a good it was a good business it was a gig a short-lived gig but wow. It was a good business. A good side gig. A short-lived gig, but wow, like
Starting point is 00:54:47 that was a way to make some extra cash. What a weird talent that you have. It's better than a ragball, okay? It's at least more useful. No offense to Azuria. Azuria? Azaria. Azaria. No, Azarina.
Starting point is 00:55:05 None of the things I said. Fantastic. So at high school, others remember that they mostly kept to themselves. All their aspirations were intertwined because they were that close. They both originally wanted to become neurosurgeons. Oh. Then both of them were on the cheerleading squad. Both joined the Navy JROTC.
Starting point is 00:55:23 And in their downtime, they'd attend parties together smoke cigarettes and pot and drink a lot okay so as one former schoolmate recalled to the daily mail while others partied at the weekend they pretty much carried it on all week those were the days when everyone drank zima which uh i've looked this up once before do you know what zima is it's like the early example of like a wine cooler like oh okay it had like 4.7 to 5.4 percent alcohol it was a 90s drink it was an alternate like an alternative to beer okay that would be marketed toward like young teens partying did what we had we had like fruit coolers like smearing off ice and like this shit like that. Mike's Hard or something.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Mike's Hard, exactly. And they had Zima. So when the twins graduated from high school in 1996, the whole family packed up and moved to Florida where they went to college. So I guess that's a tight knit family. Once graduating, Anne and Allison moved to palm beach and they launched a yoga studio in palm beach gardens called twin power yoga oh fun fun uh according to daily mail they had a philosophy and they called it yoga life okay and ann told the boca boca raton is that how you say that boca raton i i think it i'm pretty sure it can be as interchangeably because i've heard i say boca raton and boca raton okay i'll just say boca boca yeah okay
Starting point is 00:56:50 in downtown uh west palm beach blah blah blah so they told the boca observer that clients declare goals both spiritually and physically uh when they come in to be clients at the yoga studio and they then help these clients make up their own affirmative mantra based on their spiritual goals seems like a lot of words that don't totally make sense but you know whatever okay yeah um it started off as a huge hit uh so much so that they opened a second location in downtown West Palm Beach three years later. Cool. And then had plans to open a third studio in Boca soon after that. Wow.
Starting point is 00:57:32 They were the talk of the town. They drove matching Porsches. So they were like that pair of folks. They were sisters, but also identical twins and drove matching luxury cars. Like, it was just a whole. They were, like, fresh out of a movie. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:57:50 They were characters. Exactly. Exactly. And interestingly, that you say that, they had a spiritual advisor. Don't worry about it. Named Leslie McMichael. Okay. And their spiritual advisor described described allison as the
Starting point is 00:58:06 twin with the big dominant personality and ann as the sweetest kindest most level-headed person you could ever meet and ann becomes anastasia later and allison becomes alexandria just sure so some people did not like them in that sort of way because a local tabloid called gossip extra called them the terrible twins of yoga. So they were kind of, they were characters, but like they were not necessarily the most popular. They were like notorious in some circles, I guess. Gotcha. So Oxygen reports that in Palm Beach, the twins were observed fighting violently at times,
Starting point is 00:58:46 including in the car while one of them was driving oh my god one of anastasia's ex-boyfriends keith weiss remembers uh that alexandria would often tag along on anastasia's dates and there was a lot of jealousy between the two sisters geez that sounds like that um my strange addiction episode where they the twins were addicted to each other and like would go on dates together and measure out their food so they'd look exactly the same and all that. Oh, God. I don't even know if I saw that. If I did, it was pretty wild.
Starting point is 00:59:12 It was pretty wild. Anyways. But yeah, so they had a lot of jealousy between them and a lot of infighting. Keith was a chef from Florida who dated Anastasia for about six months. And during that six months, he got a glimpse into their relationship and told people magazine later. I once got a call from Ann saying, get over here now. I'm going to kill her.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Why is it called? She actually started hitting Allison with the phone. I heard it. Thump, thump, thump. They were both screaming at each other. I get to their apartment and there's broken glass everywhere from wine
Starting point is 00:59:43 bottles and shattered glasses. There was blood every everywhere. And the bedroom door was falling off its hinges. Holy shit. Both of them were sitting on the couch when I walked in and they were like, hey, how you doing? That sounds like such a like a classic trope of a toxic family of like you just walk in like into the aftermath and they're all giggling and having a good time just sitting there like whatever also that big chunks of hair that also makes a lot of sense now why later on one of them was charged with like second degree murder because i was like yo they could just been driving a fucking car like now it makes sense now
Starting point is 01:00:22 okay i'm seeing they don't just do simple things like drive a car it's piecing things together yeah exactly so allison according to weiss allison had a bruise on her face i asked them if they were okay and they were like oh yeah we're fine we're just watching a movie yeah we were just playing you know scrabble or something and it just got really intense boggle got out of hand and sometimes that happens in the best of families okay yeah you get it uh meanwhile all around them it's total destruction they seem to not know they wanted to kill each other just minutes earlier like wild wild yeah so uh weiss also told the palm beach post that he nearly crashed his car in 2001 when the twins threw a tantrum while he was behind the
Starting point is 01:01:00 wheel because he refused their pleas to stop for another glass of wine oh so this behavior was often dismissed as just like oh they're just siblings they're just twins they're just kind of like ruffling each other's feathers and they always make up afterwards so it was often dismissed even though it was like like you said extremely toxic yeah because of their lifestyle and success and clearly all the drama they attracted their spiritual spiritual advisor, Leslie, said, hey, I have a good idea. Why don't you join a reality TV show? Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:35 For a spiritual advisor, he's pretty savvy, I have to say. You know, I will say when I first moved out to L.A. and I was like, what the hell am I going to do with a psych degree? When I first moved out to LA and I was like, what the hell am I going to do with like a psych degree? My first thought is I wanted to be one of the people who like vets people for reality shows. That would be quite a cool job. Because you do have to go through a process where they have to make sure that you're like mentally stable enough to handle it. Yeah, like healthy enough. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:01 I thought that was like such a cool gig. I thought that was going to be like my forever job where I was going to like just talk to people and like give them the green light or not on whether or not they could even audition. And then go to happy hour and tell everybody like, guess what? Yeah. Anyway, that's I I'm curious to see what the person whose job it was and met them. If maybe I guess they were like, oh, yeah, you can go and like just didn't really care. I don't know. I just know that that's part of the process of getting onto a reality show a lot of the times.
Starting point is 01:02:29 And so I wonder if they played a cool or not with that person. I don't know. Because they said yes. And the studio said, or the producer said they got producers attached to the idea. And then the producers pushed them to rent a bigger space for a new studio and then the series fell through so it didn't even happen but because they had been pushed to buy a new studio they were suddenly three hundred thousand
Starting point is 01:02:55 dollars in debt uh so they had to quickly close their businesses in 2014 and they fled to utah supposedly leaving some of their employees unpaid and changing their names to alexandria and anastasia i see that's where the name change comes in yes and now they were like running yeah but they claim that they changed their names not because they were hiding but because they were looking to publish some books and they were being harassed by strangers in utah and it's like what oh a weird excuse and they changed the last name from dad out to duval by the way so it's alexander and anastasia duval uh so they claimed it was had nothing to do with uh hiding from
Starting point is 01:03:36 people but it's like you abandoned your post and changed your names and moved to utah i don't know yeah sounds fishy to me sounds fishy so fun fact in their new yoga studio in utah they were trying to launch something called doga which was yoga for dogs precious i know i was like actually i'm kind of on board board with that uh however they didn't learn anything from their florida experience because suddenly they were having more run-ins with the law a vehicle homicide investigator named larry becraft uh later commented on how one occasion the twins were kicked out of a restaurant for allegedly drinking too much fighting with each other and threatening to have the mafia kill the owner oh my god which is like the utah mafia that
Starting point is 01:04:19 you know so well after just moving there yeah like okay who are these fucking people to be like i know someone available right now ready to kill and this time i just knew too yeah in utah and also like if you're trying to keep a low profile this ain't it girl no no you're not doing a good job this is not it in another incident in utah police of the twins fought with each other including pull pulling each other's hair out after the car slid off the road into a ditch uh when later confronted about what happened in utah alexander commented i don't know i don't think that's true so we're just like very much ignoring like some some real signs that you need help yeah either ignoring it or like blacking it out i'm not sure like because they were also drinking so it's like who knows oh right right'm not sure like because they were also drinking so
Starting point is 01:05:05 it's like who knows oh right right but like they didn't wake up the next day with like a bald patch and be like where'd that come from or like why do i that was such a part of their uh normal behavior with each other anyway i guess so yeah a lot of people like just bald patch just wake up with bruises and shit and they're like i have no idea where it came from so oops yep well that wasn't all because oxygen reports they were also involved in a non-fatal traffic accident where alexandra was driving lost control of the car and when police responded the two girls were still fighting um and then alexandra was arrested then and there for driving under the influence then they decided utah we've seen enough we've had enough we're moving to hawaii
Starting point is 01:05:42 Then they decided, Utah, we've seen enough. We've had enough. We're moving to Hawaii. So that was their stint in Utah. Seems quick. And then in December 2015, they decided they would go to a more spiritual place and they moved to Maui. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:58 You know, they're very spiritual folks. Well, I mean, they had yoga and dog yoga. So they've proven themselves so according to in touch weekly as soon as they moved to maui in search of spiritual enlightenment they were soon arrested for disorderly conduct and terroristic threatening what oh my god get it together folks what is happening i don't know say that again something in terroristic. Terroristic. Okay. What? It's my favorite sentence. According to In Touch Weekly, as soon as they moved to Maui in search of spiritual enlightenment,
Starting point is 01:06:34 they were soon arrested for disorderly conduct and terroristic threatening. So just like the exact opposite of like peaceful spiritualism while we're at it. Quote unquote. Wow. They're desperate for something I don't think they're going to get. Wow. Okay. wow they're desperate for something i don't think they're gonna get wow okay anastasia's boyfriend of about a month federico bailey testified that booze changed them wine seemed to fuel their fights bailey claimed the twins who have been described as so close they not only finished each other's sentences but felt comfortable showering together and wearing
Starting point is 01:07:00 each other's clothes brawled quite often every two or three days they punched each other that's according to in touch weekly i feel like they're punching each other a lot like i'm saying whoa like i'm surprised anymore and really they are very physically violent with each other it seems that way it seems yeah they're very abusive toward each other which is scary federico bailey did affirm though that they were great people when they were sober but the minute they started drinking they were like jekyll and hyde yikes so on the day of the fatal crash over the cliff you recall you recall i i recall i recall do they recall because they seem to be not recalling a lot of shit no the sisters were fighting as well uh and we know this because witnesses spotted them as alexandria was driving her sister down the Hana Highway.
Starting point is 01:07:46 They all noticed how Anastasia was violently grabbing her sister's hair as Alexandria drove the car. Wow. Anastasia was grabbing her hair. And Lawrence Lau, a local, said, My first thought when she was coming past us was, Don't hit me, don't hit me. Because she was slightly out of control. She was doing 40 miles an hour from a dead stop at that point. I a pair of hands jerking her head pulling her hair her head was jerking so
Starting point is 01:08:10 like they were violently fighting as she drove and suddenly in the blink of an eye the car launched off the side of the cliff and plummeted to her feet below wow maui police officer ian custer who was one of the first on the scene later commented maybe 10 feet more to the right and it would have been in the water so they landed on the land um but they could have 10 feet to the right it would have been into the ocean and is that i don't know if this means anything but does is that implying that like they would have survived or because i feel like if you still hit the water that means i thought it meant both of them would have died but i don't know like i assume it would be worse because they could have drowned because when they were at the bottom and they were rescued
Starting point is 01:08:56 or you know the one was rescued she was still alive but i don't know if that would have happened if the car sunk into the ocean i don't't know. Okay. But you're right. I actually have no clue if it's better or worse to hit the ocean than the ground. I imagine if you're falling that fast from something that heavy into the water, you're still hitting pavement, basically. You're still hitting solid, basically. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:21 No, I'm with you. It doesn't sound like an easier descent. Yeah. It sounds all bad all very bad it all sounds bad so as mentioned before anastasia who was in the passenger seat was pronounced dead at the scene alexandra was airlifted to the maui memorial medical center where she was hospitalized with severe injuries um it also didn't help that her blood alcohol content was three times the legal limit um she was very intoxicated while she was driving and that's
Starting point is 01:09:46 according to medium an article in medium um in the hospital she was visited by police officer justin maliola and he revealed to true crime daily quote she didn't really want to say much to us at the hospital she remained pretty defensive on questions her her initial reaction to us coming was why are we there She seemed pretty disconnected from the whole scenario. We ended up having to tell her what happened to her sister because she refused to answer any more questions from us. I remember her just having a real blank look on her face. It was actually pretty bizarre from the normal. Her face, just a blank stare.
Starting point is 01:10:18 That's weird. I mean, it's also not judging that, you know, people grieve differently or handle shock differently. But I kind of, I mean, maybe I'm like overstepping here, but is she going to get a diagnosis at some point? Like, because the amount that she's just like either forgetting or like completely dissociating away from or like removing herself from the narrative is like kind of jarring. Yeah, I don't, not that we know of, the narrative it's like kind of jarring yeah i don't not that we know of not that it's written anywhere so i mean i this part i understand because like phd and you could tell us you and my mother both say that um no not when she's in the limo on the way to our live show in dc that she booked that was the one time she was fine
Starting point is 01:11:02 with me not having gone for the when she booked her own limo for your cul-de-sac. And didn't invite me by the way. No, you weren't invited. I didn't even, I found out after she got the limo and she also had a keg of vodka in there. Yeah, she brought solo cups to the show, to our live show. Good times. She's a
Starting point is 01:11:20 mess. I miss her. No, I mean, I do understand if she fell like and hit her head during this crash that she would have some right memory loss but i feel like the recurring theme i feel like every five minutes you're saying like oh something like really brutal is happening and she's just like smiling around like she's like what do you mean yeah you're totally right i feel like a lot of this violence is just ends with like what are you talking about everything's fine it's like yeah to a point where like i mean i've heard it enough times as a stranger if i were her friend i'd be
Starting point is 01:11:50 like yo are you okay like like what's going on like i'm scared to get in a car with you let alone like yeah in your presence yeah exactly exactly so yeah apparently according to maliola um the detective what was even more bizarre is that when he talked to the twins father his first words were if anyone should have died it was that bitch alexandria whoa are you serious yeah that's not a cute look not a cute look to say to the police after your daughter is killed and one's in the hospital i would have just arrested him on the spot like you are yeah causing like trouble this sounds not good this sounds like no no no no this might be the origin of some problems i think maybe uh-huh yeah bingo so and
Starting point is 01:12:40 alexandria was the one who survived so when he he says, if anyone should have died, it was her. Like, it's the one who survived, which is like, what the fuck? Who says that about their child? Like, be grateful. Like, one of your kids is alive right now. Oh, my God. Yeah, you'd think so. And so in thinking about how Alexandria didn't die in this fatal fall,
Starting point is 01:12:59 Maui accident investigator Sergeant Lawrence Becraft went back to the crash scene with Crime Watch Daily. accident investigator sergeant lawrence beecraft went back to the crash scene with crime watch daily and i've i've told you about crime watch daily before but this is the show uh that chris hansen hosts it's like the true crime show that i sometimes watch on youtube that chris hansen hosts and it's just like a fun little crossover because i know you love chris hansen i was gonna i was about to interrupt you and say like oh don't talk to me about like going on youtube and watching chris i know that's why i always bring it up that man i love the chris hansen i know you do um so he hosts a show and it's always very fun and cheesy um but so they went back to so this investigator this crime scene investigator goes back to
Starting point is 01:13:41 the crash scene and he explains the reason why she survived is that she's in a compartment she's behind the steering wheel the airbag deploys it keeps her in the seat anastasia was not contained in that her area was bigger she also had an airbag in front of her side curtain airbags and airbags coming out from the seat she was bouncing around in that area um and in his point of view this was intentional there was no luck involved this was not an accident this was not a traffic crash this was a criminal act wow so he is going out and saying no she did this on purpose okay she launched herself off a cliff knowing that she would survive i i don't know that's that's a lot of confidence. Seems bold, right? It's a really risky choice.
Starting point is 01:14:26 That's what I thought. Maybe I'll make it. Maybe not. However, according to the Guardian, computer data revealed that Alexandria had accelerated and made a hard turn off the cliff, which led cops to believe it was an attempted murder-suicide. Whoa. turn off the cliff which led cops to believe it was an attempted murder suicide whoa so they decided we think that alexandria went off the cliff knowing both of them would be killed and since she survived that it would still be a crime because you were murdering the other person
Starting point is 01:14:57 if that makes sense yep so even if she didn't know she would survive. She did survive and she killed her sister. So that's kind of where they stand. Oh. So with this in mind, on June 3rd, 2016, while Alexandria was at the Seaside Hotel in Maui, she was arrested and held without bail for second degree murder. Authorities had become suspicious of her because as soon as she had left the hospital, she tried to book flights out of Hawaii and back to the mainland. And they were like like let's keep her here i think you need to just take a just stay at home for a day or two maybe just sit down for a
Starting point is 01:15:31 second yeah uh months later i don't know sorry five days later she was released and then months later in october a grand jury indicted her and she was brought back she was in albany new york at this point she was brought all the way back to hawaii and held on three million dollar bail and uh she faced trial in january of 2018 for the second degree murder of her sister anastasia and this was in 2018 and abc news reported that prosecutors have argued that alexandria intentionally drove the car over a cliff citing evidence they claim shows she did not apply the brakes but rather accelerated while driving on the narrow winding road allegedly taking a sharp turn toward a hundred two hundred foot drop so they're basically saying like based on tire tracks
Starting point is 01:16:16 and all this business you can tell that she sped up the car she was approaching the cliff interesting that i the the education that goes into learning all that tiny little stuff is so fascinating to me like and the fact that like people can figure that out based on like it's wild and stuff i i wish there was like a you would think with all the like craze of like true crime someone would have opened up like a school of like learn all the fun little things you know learn all the fun little things well you know? Learn all the fun little things. Well, maybe they exist, but they're not called that. Yeah, maybe they're called, like, detective school or something.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Maybe they're called, like, university. But I don't know. I mean, like, I don't know. I think of, like, if there was someone out there who was offering a class to, like, people who, even if they didn't plan on going into that profession but just like wanted to learn the skill set of like how to investigate like i don't that would it would sell i'm just saying it would sell because i've read a lot of people say they've changed their majors or gone back to school for forensics i think it is a pretty common thing i think it's a growing field from what i can tell anecdotally speaking from comments and reddit and stuff it seems like forensics is like a very a rapidly expanding field because it's so popular yeah but who knows
Starting point is 01:17:33 let me know folks if you're studying forensics or all the little fun things that i know well well i i know to be fair i know university like classes are like valid but i'm thinking more if there was like a like um like an adult summer camp or something but it was just like forensics camp or like you know it's not like not necessarily something you're not totally looking into actually being a detective or anything but this is just your niche interests and you can go like solve a crime but learn all these things first you know i think that'd be fun that would be fun um i think it'd be fun i don't know anyway i'm sure someone with the that this certificate you get at the end of summer camp does not mean you can go definitely yeah like you you just basically like took a crash course for purely like novelty sake or
Starting point is 01:18:22 entertainment purposes oh yeah i don't know i if it if that place existed you and i would have definitely bought tickets to it by now i think so absolutely just like ghost hunting like people don't totally want to always be a ghost hunter but if there was a place or a camp where you could just like go play with equipment and learn the science behind it people would do it i think yeah absolutely all right well we can sorry tm tm tm tm tm all this all the cool little things can't summer camp okay we'll call it and that's why we summer and that's why we summer in the hamptons with our duct tape wallets yeah class that's the that's the elective that's the elective
Starting point is 01:19:03 oh my god yeah that's the people who can't pass into the advanced courses. They just have to take duct tape wallet class. Or do that thing with all the plastic string and you make the lanyards. Macrame. It'd be a fun time. That's an actual summer camp though. I know.
Starting point is 01:19:20 What actual summer camp is. The random additional class would be like okay we've been learning a lot this is your recess we'll do actual summer camp we'll do some we'll do arts and crafts for a minute yeah um okay so they're saying i don't even know where the hell i was oh i'm so sorry no no it's not you i'm sure i derailed they're facing oh so they looked at the tire tracks and stuff and said she clearly accelerated off the cliff and took a sharp turn i did yikes so she went off the 200 foot drop intentionally is what
Starting point is 01:19:51 they're saying and in terms of motive maui police detective sergeant gordon sagoon jr commented i believe that alexandria did not want to lose her sister anastasia because the plan was that anastasia and her boyfriend federico were going to move start a business on another island and i believe alexandria did not want that to happen that she was not going to lose her sister to anybody and she potentially drove off that cliff to stop that wow that's the motive that they're arguing that the police are arguing wow was why she drove them both off a cliff which is like wowza that's that's okay i mean i guess i it's pretty dark yeah and also i guess it kind of goes with the how heated their arguments have been like it would make sense that they also have like a really like
Starting point is 01:20:39 odd attachment to each other or some sort of like heightened protection of like you can't do anything without me kind of stuff i mean they showered together like regularly as they went on dates together some year olds yeah yeah they might one of them might have been they might have been a little possessive of each other yeah it seems like an unhealthy attachment again this is novelty speaking i don't have the degree I have the summer camp degree of summer camp degree, but it seems unhealthy to me. Yeah. So that was the motive. They were arguing.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Alexandra's defense attorney, Bernie Brevard insisted that it was just a tragic accident with testimony from plenty of witnesses. It was very clear that the twins had been seen arguing in the car moments before they sped off the cliff. Like I said, witnesses saw Anastasia pulling Alexandria's hair, which led to Alexandria losing control in the car moments before they sped off the cliff uh like i said witnesses saw anastasia pulling alexandria's hair which led to alexandria losing control of the car and there
Starting point is 01:21:30 was evidence to support this claim because a clump of alexandria's hair was found in anastasia's hands oh she was killed that'll do it isn't that horrifying that's really awful so like she literally still had like clumps of her hair in her hand when she died um so that proved that she was ripping her hair out uh while she drove so another person who took the stand was anastasia's boyfriend frederico who himself is like a really weird character which at this point not surprising i guess but um apparently they met he and anastasia met 35 days before she died and strangely after anastasia's death he lived in her porsche until police took the vehicle like he just moved in to the car i don't know i don't know if it was an suv or like a two-seater
Starting point is 01:22:19 but it doesn't he just moved in he just lived lived in it. Okay. Why not? How long? Do we know that? You know what? I don't know. It just says until police took over control of the vehicle. So I don't know how long that was. That could have been like a weekend or it could have been like a while.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Like half a year. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure. I assume it was longer than a weekend. It seems like things always go very slow in these processes, but I don't know how long. Okay. According to ABC News, when asked what he did for a living bailey said he was a minister and is his own church and depends on jesus christ to provide for him so he doesn't have to earn
Starting point is 01:22:55 money uh so that's why he lived in the porsche uh he also said he had previously been living in his jeep so i guess the porsche was an upgrade and when they met him the sisters invite or anastasia invited him to come live with her and her sister and because he was living in his jeep at the time so during the trial bailey aka frederico brought up how seven days prior to the death alexandria who's the driver and not his girlfriend his girlfriend's sister alexandria informed me that she was going to kill her sister and then she said it again but she said it in a different way she said i killed my sister as though it had already happened oh like a week in advance yeah so is it almost planted that like i don't, like she was already dead and put her in the car and then try to drive her
Starting point is 01:23:48 off the cliff? No, like she was alive. Like they were still like, he was still dating the other one. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Okay. That tracks. Yeah. So she, she just said it even though it wasn't true. She said, I killed my sister as though it had already happened. When asked why would she want to kill her sister?
Starting point is 01:24:04 Bailey responded. Well, she didn't really say why she wanted to kill her when asked if he had any suspicions as to why he responded well there was a lot of jealousy there between the two of them even though they were listed as identical twins they didn't see themselves as identical twins and they actually resented the idea but according to which is like okay but according to bailey he claims to have also heard alexandria saying to anastasia don't forget we're leaving the planet on the 30th okay so and i would just add that the the car crash was on the 29th so okay i don't know if perhaps it just happened a day early and because she got fed up and drove off the edge of the cliff thinking like, well, we might as well do it now.
Starting point is 01:24:51 Because according to Federico, he believed that was evidence they were planning on suicide, like double suicide. So who knows? When I went and looked up the timeline, I was like, well, the car crash happened on the 29th, the day before the 30th. So it's weird timing to me. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I really can't wrap my head around.
Starting point is 01:25:15 I know. It's so bizarre. It's a lot. And it's so bizarre. I don't really know. But I'm feeling more and more affirmed in the fact that they needed some psychological help. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:27 Yes. I mean, I don't disagree with you there. So that was shockingly not the only odd behavior that Federico slash Bailey had spotted. After Anastasia's death while Alexandria was at the hospital, she apparently put on her dead sister's dress and started flirting and cuddling him. Oh. Oh. What? Wait, what? That's what he said uh he told the new york post she began cuddling up on me it seemed like she was flirting with me she sat down beside me really close and laid her head on my shoulder she put on anastasia's clothes
Starting point is 01:25:58 i started talking to her about what happened she avoided answering any of my questions when i saw her in anastasia's dress it was disturbing anastasia had just worn that a few nights earlier but at the same time like they already did wear each other's clothes all the time sure so it's like it's the flirting with the boyfriend that is a little odd yeah and to be fair that was his statement to the new york post i don't know sure what he can what constitutes flirting like maybe she just wanted a hug i don't know but i don't know yeah he said it was weird so i guess i'll trust him okay and back to the trial alexandria was found not guilty of second degree So she was not found guilty. Was there a reason?
Starting point is 01:26:46 Well, the judge agreed that Anastasia had caused the accident by attacking Alexandria in the car. Okay. So basically the argument was Alexandria may not have driven off that cliff if Anastasia hadn't been ripping out her hair and attacking her while she was driving okay so i mean i i feel like that's a fair argument yeah that makes sense i think i don't know it's such a weird story i'm sorry it is weird it's all over the place so weird um alexandria first spoke about what happened publicly on an episode of dr phil it's always dr phil oh it's always dp trying to remember what happened on the day of her sister's death she said it's really hard for me to put it completely together but i do remember my sister and i were driving around i've played it so many times in
Starting point is 01:27:34 my mind having that wheel go out hitting the dirt berm going over i don't i don't know why i'm here that i survived what happened that day an accident happened she also says she just remembers being airlifted and she didn't learn of anastasia's death until she was in the hospital and during that same interview dr phil also grilled her about the details of her and her sister's kind of sketchy past and like you know filing for bankruptcy in florida changing their names keep being arrested in Utah. Yeah. But Alexandria.
Starting point is 01:28:07 All of it. All of it. There's a lot. All of it. But Alexandria blamed the bankruptcy on one negative thing that had been said on social media about their yoga studio. And she said, that's why our yoga studio failed. Because somebody posted something mean about us on the internet. And it was like. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:28:24 I don't think that's right. People say mean things about us all the time on the internet and it was like oh okay i don't think that's right but people say mean things about us all the time on the internet so like should we change our names and move to utah like i'm not like above it i'll be christopolis you be emothy and nobody nobody will figure it out even for a second um so alexandra duvall has always maintained her innocence although many have doubted it there isn't much to say about where she is now because she's kept a really low profile can't really blame her um in 2016 however the older sister amy the one that finally we haven't talked about was on probation for assaulting their father who uses a wheelchair in his apartment
Starting point is 01:29:05 in palm beach shores florida and according to john the father who was 67 she came to the house intoxicated and started verbally abusing me saying she would never leave the house until i gave her a hundred thousand dollars wow i don't know okay it's just so odd all these it definitely sounds like it's not just the twins then And it's like a whole family. Yeah. And the father, this is the father who said that bitch Alexandria should have died. Not the other. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:29:33 Like, yeah, none of them sound like they love themselves. Doesn't seem like a happy family in any way. Yeah. So in an update about Maui itself, they have now erected a concrete barrier along that cliff. Oh, well, probably for the best. Probably the only really good thing to come out of this story. But that's the very odd story of the Maui yoga twins case. I feel like I need to sneeze and it's just not going to come.
Starting point is 01:30:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm stuck in this weird space of I wanted closure and I didn't get it. I know. At least it wasn't as, at least it was bizarre. At least it wasn't as dark as some of your others. But certainly bizarre. I usually I like to even like play like the theory game and like try to solve it, crack the case myself. I don't really know where to go from there.
Starting point is 01:30:22 It just sounds like. It kind of just gives me a headache, honestly. It just sounds like a really unstable family that needed help and didn't get it yes agreed agreed and the fact about the driving over the edge of the car still doesn't answer it to me because it's like maybe they were planning to die by suicide the next day maybe it was an accident because her hair was being ripped out of her head i don't know but it was clearly born out of something very toxic yeah or even like i would argue that maybe like the hair ripped out of the head might have been like just panic from falling like your
Starting point is 01:30:55 instinct is to grab something well remember that guy saw them driving and said that the one sister was pulling her head back by her hair right so they had witnesses who actually saw her hair being pulled as they drove wow i don't know then yeah it's all pretty bad it's just kind of a bummer you know it is wow well that's that i don't know i don't know where to go from there i'll tell you how big my baby is oh okay yeah let me put down my cup let's see okay you'll like this the plate of spaghetti from lady and the tramp oh that's so sweet i like that i like it and i but i'm also like i'm not vibing with the fact that whatever this app is is really guesstimating sizes because like nobody knows it's just a normal plate of pasta or is it different it cracks me up because it's so specific and it's like
Starting point is 01:31:52 you couldn't possibly know from an animated film about two dogs how big that plate of spaghetti was between them it just seems like what a strange did you talk to the prop master on set no because there was no prop master on set it was an animator that's a good point it's like what a strange did you talk to the prop master on set no because there was no prop master on set it was an animator that's a good point it's like what's it's just so it's a bowl of pasta like why do we have to make it about lady in the trap because it's funner that way come on but then it makes me think like maybe i was unaware this whole time that lady in the tramp is known to have like a bigger plate of pasta than the average person is it like what about like ratatouille you could read it says 18 inches okay an 18 inch bowl of pasta and then that makes me question like am i am i not eating enough you're not even eating because like none of us are eating enough spaghetti is what i'm learning from this because now i need to go find like an 18 inch dish and
Starting point is 01:32:40 really go to town on some pasta i finished that cake before we started recording it's empty now i ate the whole thing no comment the plate is empty i was like fuck it so i you know when you make a plan god laughs as they say and when i became friends with you I had a plan that one day when you got pregnant and finally had the level of hunger that I do on a regular basis, we would finally live in merriment. It's tragic. It's tragic that we're so far away. And then you said, I'm going to move across the country. And I went, oh, my dreams are shattered. But then the universe said, also, we're going to release a virus into the population that prevents everybody from hanging out. So to be fair.
Starting point is 01:33:31 Think of all the sandwiches. I know. Christine, you have to get pregnant again. No, thank you. Maybe it's just too dangerous. Like the world knew this is just too much. The world knew. Maybe it was our guardian angels being like, don't even fucking think about it.
Starting point is 01:33:47 Talk about going bankrupt. Our Postmates bills would have been through the roof. Every time you would have been like cheesecake or brownies. And I would have been like, por que no los dos? Like, I don't get it. We would have been a disaster. It would have been like i would have tried to expense we would try to expense everything and it would have just been cheesecake and it would have been
Starting point is 01:34:10 a disaster oh i want to add one more because there's also 80s and 90s nostalgia uh so on that app or on that section uh the baby's a size now you're gonna hate this a moderately successful game of jenga what the fuck does that mean it means it's not the full tower it's like you're like halfway through playing for someone who's like obsessed with semantics and shit and like little details that's why it cracks me up because it's so absurd it's like a moderately and so but like still the full set of jenga yeah like still the length of jenga you've pulled out a lot of the pieces you know yeah but the point of jenga is to keep it the same height oh i guess that's fair so even if it's moderately you know what you're completely right it's literally the
Starting point is 01:34:57 same height no matter what there's just holes in your baby what does that mean maybe it's really pointy which makes sense because i really can't breathe very well so it could it's that one one little toe that's tickling you stop doing that it's the a moderate it's it's like probably i feel like i am how my parents felt when i showed them cards against humanity for the first time and they're like why is that so specific and why does it just fill me with rage i think that's why it makes me laugh so much is because i'm like it's so stupid like whoever wrote this clearly knew what they were doing and i think it's brilliant you piss off a pregnant person except i'm not the pregnant person okay but if i were the pregnant person and that was the app i
Starting point is 01:35:41 was using deleted immediately i would have been like i use like 85 different apps but this is my favorite one um okay but see the other thing is like the fruit gets so annoying because every app is like like this week it's a pineapple and then i was like but two weeks ago the other app said it was a pineapple like that doesn't help me any because fruit is also different sizes right but like the animated bowl of spaghetti totally does it for you yeah i get it because at least i get it that's a very specific thing that changes every week i don't need to like be like two weeks ago it was an avocado and now it's another avocado maybe it only exists that app though because it has no other frame of reference there's no other app saying that it's
Starting point is 01:36:18 it was it was pasta last exactly right it's 80 90s nostalgia. Very specific genre that nobody else is trying to copy. When were you a bottle of wine? What was that about? Oh, yeah. That was on my bump app yesterday. It said, fun fact or daily fact, the baby is as tall as a bottle of wine. I posted that on Instagram and tagged them, obviously. I was like, well, that is something I can gauge.
Starting point is 01:36:43 That's something I can relate to. You're like, I have held a bottle of wine many times. That I can get a grasp in my mind of how large and how hefty and how much it's hurting me inside. Well, anyway. Perfect. Well, I hope you go enjoy your baby full of holes or whatever. The Jenga thing. Moderately enjoyed game of jenga and uh i guess
Starting point is 01:37:08 is that it yeah that's it for me i'm gonna go search pbt now and just feel jealous of all the kids that get to go i'm gonna send you a picture of my office chair because i bought that no my desk i bought that off pbt it's a teenage desk oh my god but it was expensive as hell and i was like well it's a nice desk i don't know you know i'm a sucker for a backpack i'll probably just go buy one right now so yeah with your monogram on it oh okay and that's why we drink

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