And That's Why We Drink - E273 The Jim Halpert of Ghosts and the People Pleasing Outlaw

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

It's episode 273 and we're having a Missouri moment! First Em takes us to the Missouri State Penitentiary, also known as the bloodiest 47 acres in America. Then Christine tells us the wild story of Milton Sharp, the inconvenient outlaw, who we've dubbed the fully inconvenienced outlaw. And if you need a code word today might we suggest: horselawn... and that's why we drink!

good morning yeah good morning but it's afternoon for you feel today um well I'm very tired because I obviously woke up three minutes ago. I don't know if you were aware of that. Um, so I'm very sleepy, especially because I only got only a couple hours to sleep because of no, it, it wasn't really my own fault though. Well, it was, I, yeah, it was, I knew, um, I knew that this story was going to take me a while to do research it ends up taking me like seven hours and i waited until like 10 o'clock at night to get started so like what was i thinking was going to happen so no comment i've only i took a power nap before we recorded let's say that and then um and then other than that i think think I'm okay. I'm going to the dentist today, which is intimidating because I've been having some issues with the old chompers. Oh, no, not the pearly whites.

I know. Nothing, like, wild, but I've just, like, I have always been, like, a notoriously bad flosser. So I'm like a bleeder as I assume they call me and the employee's office lounge. Great. I just get really embarrassed by it. So anyway. I mean, I think, I don't know if this is just my twisted view on the world, but I don't think anyone actually flosses, right?

Like, am I right on that? I feel like no one actually flosses every single day. Well, just to make you and me feel worse, Allison is like a champion flosser. Oh my God, there she goes. Always doing everything right and taking care of herself and her body. I know.

And also I have this thing going on, which is like, this is so gross, but. Oh my gosh, I'm ready. Let me get my drink. Okay, keep going. I think my teeth are chipping off um what pardon me i feel like it's as stupid as when michael scott is having like soft teeth and so he has to like dip his steak in his wine but um it's disgusting but i i don't know if it's my

teeth or not but i got a permanent retainer put on like 10 years ago and now it's finally starting to chip off which i know is like this is it's the glue dude but the glue looks exactly like teeth yeah i know it's the glue i promise you i like my teeth to me yeah my teeth don't hurt and i imagine if my teeth were chipping off in fragments i'd notice in pain tolerance but it really it they did artisanal jobs of making it look like bone 10 years ago the day i moved to boston my retainer came off my permanent retainer came off and i was so broke i spent all my money moving there and i was like they i went in and i was like um this retainer and it like swung out so it was just the pokey part like going through my tongue basically.

And I was like, I need to get this off my face. And they were like, that'll be $350. And I was like, cool, never mind. And I went home and just had to like wait for it to come off. It was so gross. That's awful because also if you were feeling what I'm currently feeling, it it's something has felt broken in my mouth for a while. It's not, it's not a good, and then they're like, oh, these aren't permanent. And I'm like, then why do you call them that? Yeah, exactly. And I, it's a really gross feeling. And honestly,

I'm ready to pay whatever it takes to have them taken off. Like even today, if possible, I don't know if that's an orthodontist thing versus a teeth thing, but, um, yeah, they also, they're not keeping my teeth straight. So like, it's absolutely, what's the point, right? Yeah. Clearly they have broken at some point because everything's shifted in there. So, well, hopefully it's the glue. I think it is. Cause I remember that feeling of like, cool pieces of my teeth are falling off and they were like, no, no, no, you're okay. Teeth are falling off and they're like, no, no, no, you're okay. I was really like, am I that trash? Like, am I that bad at this?

And keeping track of my own teeth that they're just falling out in shaves. Ew. Anyway, that's why I drank today. Why do you drink, Christine? How are your teeth? Oh, you know, my teeth are, I think, okay. You're making me a little nervous that I need to like floss more because in my mind, nobody flosses. And I guarantee like a third of our listeners are going to write in like, um, everybody fucking flosses, you freak. So it's probably, probably on me. Uh, but I'm drinking a bubble tea. Definitely not good for my teeth. Uh, but super delicious. And, um, why do I drink? Oh, I'm going to a rainbow kitten surprise concert tomorrow m i feel like maybe that's your first time ever but i feel like it's happened 10 times in our friendship it's happened once and it was the last concert i saw before the pandemic because blaze and i went

to arizona while we were on you and i were on tour and we met in arizona got an airbnb went to like a music festival there and i remember we were supposed to see death cab and um ben gibbard came out on the stage and like did not look well and kind of almost fainted on stage and we were like what is going on and then he had to stop the concert he was like the headliner and he was like he did two songs and was like i have to go and left. And they were like, sorry. And we were all like, what is going on with him? Does he have the flu? Oh, shit.

Wow. Three days later, it was like, you are no longer allowed to leave your house. And I was like, well, I saw my rainbow kitten surprise. I can die happy. Goodbye. That was the last innocent moment I think you had before the pandemic. We were like, what's his problem in like a crowd of thousands of people which is terrifying also it's extra terrifying because that's exactly

my fear of when i'm on stage and look like i'm about to pass out everyone's gonna go what's their problem what's that about hey if i do i can confidently tell you it wouldn't be covid it would be be my heart thing. At least we know your heart is failing, you know, instead of COVID at the very least. At least. At least we have answers. It's pretty fun because, well, it's a little terrifying because, yeah, this is the last experience I had before COVID. Yeah, you're reliving like a Final Destination moment where maybe after this concert, another... Don't even start with that nonsense.

I'm not gonna say but we're all thinking it i'm a little nervous christine i know um but my mom and stepdad are coming over to watch the baby and they've learned her bedtime routine and everything and it's just kind of cool because blaze and i can go have a date night with my brother and sister they'll be there too but you know blaze and i well we went to a concert a few weeks ago to see alt j and while we were there first of all two people said hi and recognized me, which was really nice. But then my sister came with us and Blaze's and my first date ever was to an Alt-J concert. And so I feel like I'm reliving all these weird old like memories.

But we went to this Alt-J concert and my sister was there. And so I was like, oh, it's sort of a date night, but with my sister. But then on Snapchat, she found out one of her friends was there. So she like ditched us and went to the front row. So we got to do a little date night. So maybe I can send my brother and sister away again. And we can pretend like we're a single couple out on the town. I do in my mind, when you say you're going on a date night with Blaze, I didn't, you

didn't have to tell me zandy'd be there i feel like i just i feel like blaze really married into the concept of like oh family night is family night like and like not even i i mean obviously everyone lives super close but i also knew you pre kentucky where zandy lived with you every single moment that i ever knew you so in my mind you are just a triad Zandy went on your first date with Allison so I feel like he's don't I know it yeah I feel like if anyone's kind of like the the bonus he really finds his way into just about every scenario I um I was thinking about that recently of like oh oh yeah, Sandy was there. And I just felt so bad for that kid because we were obviously into each other. I know he knew that because he literally left in the middle to go to Starbucks for an hour and a half.

Yeah. But man, he really, I think he kind of likes it. He keeps going on people's dates. So I don't want to say that any of us have given him a bad time on our dates. He's like, this seems like where I need to be. Yeah.

Uh, he's going to really hate this whole segment, but that's okay. Um, well, here's the thing. This is what I'm, this is the point I'm trying to get to,

which maybe hasn't registered, uh, to Zandy yet, but you have, he owes you many a date with D I'm just saying, I'm not interested in that. Thank you though. Well, you don't want to go to a bunch of lighthouses. Hang on a second. No'm just saying. I'm not interested in that. Thank you, though. Well, you don't want to go to a bunch of lighthouses?

Hang on a second. Just kidding. No, I did. I've already done that. Dee visited. And remember, you were there. And we went to mini golf. We went to jungle gyms.

I feel like we're already crashing that. You and I crashed their dates. Also, he really has, because he's been on so many of maybe your dates, but at least with mine, because he was on my first date, he was such a homie through it that I feel like I still owe him something years later. So I wonder if it's an intentional, like, aha. Oh, he's liking this segment again. He's like, now you're finally on track. I feel it in my bones. I only ever meant it as a, as not as an insult to him, but just as like a,

I feel like you're, you're putting your chips in for something big one day. Yeah. You're saving your tickets at Chuck E. Cheese. I would just keep trading mine in for bubbles. And he's like, no, I want the giant stuffed animal. That's exactly the takeaway I was hoping for here. I also want to point out real quick that I'm being a real asshole because I'm the one who bought everybody tickets and said, you all have to come with me to this concert. It is not, it was my doing that I bought everyone

a ticket and said, everyone must come with me. So nobody even has a choice. So I feel like I'm throwing this in as like, oh, Alexander's tagging along. It's like, no, I really am forcing everyone around me to come with me to this show. So, but I appreciate that about you. I feel like you pretty often force people into dynamics but in like a like you know it's gonna work out but only if it's like fun and they're into it otherwise is it is that an introvert move or is it a you are aware of fomo and therefore don't want anyone else to have fomo move it might be a both it might be a both or is it a people pleasing out of guilt from childhood trauma thing wait hold on can i do all of the above? Okay. Yeah. You really do like to have group dates and I don't know if you're aware that

there are dates until we're all together and we're all having a date experience. And I force everyone to hang out. Yeah. I think it's because I don't, I'm really, it takes a lot of energy for me to do anything outside of my home. So I might as well do them all in one, you know? I have to tell you something, by the way. Oh, tell me. I found out a fun little thing, and I forgot to mention it on the last recording. Tell me. But on Monday, I'm going to a movie screening.

What? What movie? It's the new Nicolas Cage movie. Shut up. And I'm very nervous because i i the attire i was told to wear california cool and i went well fuck pardon me what the fuck is that i honestly couldn't tell i don't know because someone said that's not anything someone said business casual but then someone else said california cool and i was like those are two different things in my mind but i guess in california business casual is california cool and so i've just been spending the last like 24 48 hours desperately searching california cool

online so i could try to pretend that i'm that and what on earth is that what like a Hollister I don't know it's a lot of bomber jackets so which is not how my body works uh I'm not a bomber jacket frame uh I feel like if you don't have broad shoulders then the bomber jacket doesn't look athletic if you have slumpy shoulders then the problem with me is I do have very broad shoulders and then it looks like I'm just like a giant square. You know, I feel like all of you has to be like, look in a certain way.

It's certainly not a way. I feel like you got to look svelte and that's certainly not something I've ever been described as. I have no, I don't know because I've seen some other people who like, I guess wouldn't consider themselves svelte and they look great in a bomber jacket. So I don't know what's happening with my body where it's like a weird hashtag sign and like nothing fits but but yeah I other than that I I mean it's the the issue with

what I wear is because um I don't want to disappoint I am I've been told enough times if I just wear a nice shirt and nice jeans i could probably get away with murder so like i'm like fine with that but apparently there's a red carpet which like as someone who's going you have to take pictures of the red carpet are you going on a date what is this what's going on no it's it's through it's through our people they i said i wanted to do more like movie stuff and they they they set it up. Oh my God. How have you not told me about this? I know I forgot to tell you. I'm telling you now because had I, had I remembered,

I would have asked for some California cool clothing options. Yeah. You're, you're saying that to be nice, but you certainly never would have asked me for fashion advice, but. I would, I was, I've, I've been kind of desperate and I've been, but I've been afraid to ask people because how do you ask somebody like, what do you wear to a premiere? Cause I don't know a person, anyone who's been to a premiere. Yeah.

No, me neither. Anyway, but so my issue is like the red carpet part is not enjoyable to me because we did that at the Webby's and it was. Terrifying. Not fun. It's not enjoyable. Thank God Lisa came and we were were like can you go with us no if you go and look at our like webby's video like they tried to like ask us questions on the red carpet lisa answered every question for us as our invite actually what happened was they kept asking lisa questions and she kept saying hey you need to ask them questions because they're

oh is that what happened yeah and then she was was like, and then Lisa got mentioned in an article and they said, who was there with her niece? And that was it. They didn't even say like anything about us or why we were there. It was just like, Lisa was spotted at the red carpet with her niece. Honestly, I mean, I guess in hindsight, that's embarrassing for us. But I kind of was totally fine with be so under the radar because we were so bad well i was so bad i don't know about you i was blacking out but i was having the worst time on the on that carpet because i didn't know how to pose i didn't know how to stand and by the way

for people wondering the red carpet is literally like a five foot long step and repeat it just looks really long on tv yeah and so you're just waiting in an awkward line like you're like waiting to get on the school bus and then it's your moment and then those in those five minutes couldn't tell you what and most photographers like do not care if you're not really famous and so they're like please all right you can move on now i think that's my problem because i'm like why am i even being asked to be no you need to own this i'm so pumped for you right now and i feel like this is your moment what okay what nick cage movie i don't even know about this oh it's like you know how it's like a movie i think about him having gone like bankrupt and all that like i think it's

like a breaking the fourth wall movie oh interesting i know but i so i we are very lucky to have pr people and i basically the thing is i saw a bunch of people on TikTok going to Marvel premieres and I was like, I know I'm not to that caliber, but like, I would certainly love to try that. And then they, they said like, Nick Cage is pretty high caliber. I feel like I, if I see him, I certainly won't approach him. I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Please don't. No, I'm this, this, by the way, this really is

like an observational experience. I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna go, I'm probably gonna embarrass myself and then be like, nevermind, let's never do this again. But thank you for the tryout. No, no, it's gonna be so good. You're gonna be great. And people are gonna be chill. And they're gonna be California cool. And it's gonna be I'll watch them do it he's gonna have such a good time i promise you and then um last thing i wanted to say going back to your concert um rainbow kitten surprise i'm excited for you because after so many years you're finally gonna see how this man performs at optimal power i think instead of uh potentially being ill oh well that was death cap for cutie that was a different one that was just the same music festival oh i thought it was i was gonna say like hey you get to have a full circle moment

oh well i sort of i mean i saw rainbow kids prize then death cab was up and death cab was a headliner and they were he was ill and had to leave so the last concert i saw was rainbow kids surprise um i never got to fulfill my death cab you know if all of those people were backstage together you know everyone got covid yeah i mean i think he just went into his trailer so i don't i don't know but it was um the funniest part was leaving the concert everyone being like i wonder what's going on maybe he has the flu like nobody fucking knew it was uh kind of a laughable moment where i feel like god was just chuckling you know um oh can i say one last thing sorry i know we're we're like going really long here i just want to say one

thing which i meant to mention last week too speaking of like live events um alexander and i are doing a live shows at the honey bone in june in cincinnati and columbus for beach to sandy um and i don't know we, we're just hoping to, it's hard to sell tickets right now because post COVID people are kind of, I don't know, meh about going to stuff. It's been a journey for us too. I feel like, yeah, it's weird.

The fact that you're going through it twice is a nice volunteership of you. Well, we're really hoping, I mean, there's VIP tickets and we're doing a meet and greet. So speaking of, you know, we're really hoping. I mean, there's VIP tickets and we're doing a meet and greet. So speaking of, you know, at least, yeah. So there's VIP tickets available.

So I don't know if anyone is interested in coming to that. It's in Cincinnati and Columbus, June 8th and 9th. And that's all. Before people ask you a million times online, what might they expect at this show? Oh, well, we're going to be reading reviews

of local places. So the only show we've ever done was in New York. So we did local landmarks there. So we're going to be doing, you know, local Cincinnati one star reviews, and then same thing with Columbus. So, you know, if you're in the area, the Midwest area, come out, my brother said I can buy myself my lookalike American girl doll if we sell out the shows. So that's nice. I hope so. I hope so. I'm very excited for you. She has a trashy classy headband. Although like I, how are you going to do it without drinking wine on stage? Um, I'm not going to do it without drinking wine on stage? I'm not going to do it without drinking wine.

Oh, okay. We're just bringing a little and that's how you drink to the party. Oh, of course. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I was like, am I pregnant again? I'm so confused.

I was like, I know your secret weapon for being able to get on stage with me. Oh, no. I copy pasted our rider of just two bottles of wine. I was like, I'll make the rider just i took out the deli meat that you have on there and just put wine so it sounds like it's actually not going to be very fun it's going to be cheese and wine and i'm so ant okay well i wish you the best of luck i it would i think it would bode very well for you if the never mind i was gonna say if the venue happened to have horrible reviews and then you could like do the show about the venue you were at thought about that never mind

it just seems like a bad idea wait i totally see how that could backfire instantaneously um okay well also i wanted to give a troll hole update i have made the first big purchases and i did not realize how expensive this was going to be. As someone who's furnishing a house after two years still, oh, God, it's a lot. One room should not be this pricey, but here we go. I already lost some money. Especially because his room is, RJ's room, my room now, is so big and so echoey that I have to do do as much like soundproofing as possible which like

I'm not gonna like deck the thing out and soundproofing but I'm I have to treat it a little bit because it's crazy it's crazy echo so even when his room was completely filled it had echoes so if I need that to be the place I record I feel like I'm learning a lot of weird science that I maybe should have learned about a long time ago about like acoustic panels and things like that so that sounds right down your alley just desperate i'm just like i bought a crap load of carpets just to like throw them all over the floor it's such a what's it called a hodgepodge modgepodge a hodgepodge hodgepodge hodgepodge a hodgepodge you use modgepodge but this is a hodgepodge a hodgepodge you use mod podge but this is a hodgepodge correct wow uh this feels like a mess is what i'm trying to say it's just like currently chaos yeah it does the second

what do you think i should do should i completely deck it out and not record in there until i can give you the final reveal or do you want to see it kind of slowly getting pieced together oh i don't know i mean i guess i guess that's more up to you and what you're comfortable with as far as recording because right now you're out in your kind of slowly getting pieced together. Ooh, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I guess that's more up to you and what you're comfortable with as far as recording. Cause right now you're out in your kind of dining area. I know I usually am in, I'm usually locked away in our bedroom because Alison works out here during the day. So I hide out in our bedroom while we, when we record. Oh, I see. So you could just go back in there. I could just go back in there. I don't know. I could just go back in there. What's up to you? Allison's not here right now, so I'm finally getting to use a workspace. Be in the open.

I know. Anyway, I guess we'll find out together on the day when we're recording. Okay, but I am excited. I have ideas, and I hope it turns out the way it looks in my head. Otherwise, it's going to really be an overstimulating mess. I think it's going to look beautiful.

I can't wait. I've got a story for you that, um, speaking of things you can't wait for, there's been something I couldn't wait for for a while. And it was this bone I have to pick with you. So as of, as of last night i cannot log

into your discovery plus account why i don't know oh no it's it's because i was watching it probably at 4 a.m my girl i don't know certainly not did you change your password no then i don't know my computer went i know that you're going into someone else's account. In fact, every time I log in, I have to remember, am I Lemon Sucks or PP Head? Because I don't really want to associate with either profile. And so I always click the one that I think, I click Lemon Sucks because I think you made that mine, but it's not me anyway. And then it's like, ghost adventures only in here. And I'm like, get me out, and i'm like get me out get me out

get me out so i still log into that one i don't know i don't know what happened i watched last night someone was playing a trick on me then i don't know i all i know is i was i hope not i'll go go check if it like expired at midnight or i typed in your weird ass password by the way and it was not landing i don't know normally i would say oh you can say it on on here but it's my password for probably everything so maybe don't um i just don't feel like you know what you and deirdre have a really interesting tactic which i don't know if you do it on purpose but you both have passwords that are spelled with like they're not real words like it's like a weird acronym or something. So even if you give

someone your password, they'll never remember it because it's such a weird jumble of letters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. So we could say it here, right? No one will remember. Well, you can test that if you'd like. But I went through our text to find the password. So I was like, maybe I'm not using the right password. Right? I looked at the login that you sent me. And I was like, what the fuck is this word okay but no but it's not that one that's the problem and then i sent you oh shit sorry it's this one like right after that well that would have saved me a lot of trouble finding um these videos uh yeah maybe so legally i don't know it's uh i'll tell you later but it it's, it's right after that. Is it peepee head? Is it peepee head? It's peepee head lemon rules.

Six, six, six. Okay. Well, oh, speaking of lemon rules, I will, Mr. Lemon, would you like to say hello? Yes, I would like to say hello. Say hello to mommy. Yikes. Hey buddy, I miss you. Healthy, healthy.

Your butt is super glued to that golf ball case. Lemon's not going anywhere. You are such a cutie pie. Do you know how many little nooks and crannies I had to super glue to get him to really stick in there? He's thriving. He's having a good time. Can you see him if I balance him here? No, not really.

That's okay. You have a him if I balance him here? No, not really. That's okay. You have a moment. I'm having one. I love you, Lemon. I miss you. There. Now we're talking. Now we're cooking.

Okay, Lemon. Yeah. Look at that beauty. We have a guest star this week. Okay. This is fucking great. Okay. I'm going to take...

I know Eva's probably already taken one but i'm taking a screenshot just in case for my own posterity's sake well he's he's currently out to breathe because as i was trying to figure out the troll hole situation i was like where do i put everything and so i've got a bunch of like chachki crap everywhere because i'm trying to move things as needed so okay here is your story sweet christine lemon are you listening no okay yeah he's he's like if you're talking forget it i'm shutting my little ears my little lemon ears where do you do you think he has ears or you think like the little the little thing is his antenna what do you think it is oh it's his antenna um that's perfect and so beautiful and sweet and if you turn it on on his side it's just his outie belly button

okay goodbye um so this is the story today which I was not able to access your discovery plus for, um, this is a very haunted one that I recently got, um, recommended. Um, I actually put out a thing on like the, one of the Facebook pages and I was like, please leave your suggestions. And I got like 800, which is like so nice for my fear that I'm going to burn through material. So, um, this is the story of the Missouri State Penitentiary, which I think it was one of those things where I thought I had covered it. And so anytime people suggested it, I was like, why are you suggesting something I've

already done? And then I looked through and I was like, oh, my God. Wow. OK, I'm excited. A penitentiary. We haven't done one of these in a while. We never get penitentiaries anymore. I feel like I really went through just about every jail there is.

So Missouri State, it's a maximum security prison in Jefferson City. It was nicknamed The Walls because that was where people lived. Cool. Great. And it's also known as the bloodiest 47 acres in america oh what i guess because there was a lot of death oh my god on those 47 acres so in 1822 which is quite a trip back in 18 1822 hey that's 200 years ago exactly hey well today they would have their anniversary i guess how nice for them good for them i've been waiting actually to talk about this that was nice

so jefferson city became uh missouri's capital in 1822 and i guess there were other cities that were like trying to steal that title away it was like early enough that they could be like no we want to be the capital and uh and the governor of jefferson city was like all right i gotta secure my spot what do i do to make sure that like this stays the capital and so the governor proposed building a maximum security state penitentiary there which i feel like he could have proposed a lot of things but i guess he wanted to say like hey our maximum security prison in the whole state like it should be at the capitol right he's like i'm tough on crime watch this uh-huh yeah that's it um so the prison had a 25 000 budget after it was proposed which at the time that it was twenty five thousand

dollars today it would be seven hundred eighty thousand dollars wow so a lot of money going to this jail he really believed in this being like his ticket into staying a capital great and um construction began in 1834 and the project had the same designer as the eastern state penitentiary fun fact oh which was episode seven so way way back for us is old almost as far back as 1822 just just about just a tinge and so uh the same designer as the eastern state penitentiary and the stonemason also happened to work on the Capitol building of Jefferson City's Capitol building. Oh, I thought you meant of the United States, but of that Capitol. I think it was, I think it was J, J.C.'s. That's how I wrote it in my notes.

Jefferson City, not Jesus Christ. Um, the, yeah, I think it was Jefferson City's Capitol building. I'm now I'm not too sure and I'm psyching myself out. I do like that that means he must have done so well in this prison that when... I don't know. I guess it would have gone first that Jefferson City was already the Capitol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, those two people got to work on this building. But guess who else worked on this building?

Who? The devil? I don't know. The actual inmates. Oh, yikes. Oh, yikes. so that becomes quite a running theme i see this i see so in 1836 two years later the first of the facilities was finished and people were able to move on in and the first prisoner was wilson ed, fun fact. And another fun fact is the prison opened the same week as the Battle of the Alamo. Oh, how weird is that? Which like, in my mind, the Alamo is such a isolated event that I forget that other things were happening that day.

It puts it in perspective. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It also lets you know just how old this prison is yeah um so i think what's that andrew jackson or something it was the president it's a long time ago my eyes have just glazed over i can't help you with that information okay it's a white man i can assure you oh most likely yeah that part I know. There's like, hmm, maybe one person. There's one chance that it was not a white person.

I think back then, I can guarantee it. So yeah, the facilities were first finished in 1836. And within the first few years, there were only 15 people incarcerated. Oh, that must be nice. I mean, not nice, but better than when it was full, I imagine. But also so embarrassing for the governor, because if you put in $780,000 into a building today and in the first few years only 15 people used it,

like, for real. That's not proof that Jefferson said he should stay a Capitol, as far as I'm concerned. Oh, I'm throwing some shade here. In those first years, I'm just saying it was a slow, slow start. Fun fact, out of those 15 people that were incarcerated, 11 of them were from St. Louis, and all but one of those 11 were in prison for larceny. What a weird thing.

Oh. So out of 15, only four of them were not from St. Louis and only five of them were not in there for larceny. Okay. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Uh,

I also, I feel like compared to like other crimes, like I feel like everyone was just getting tagged with larceny. So people would have to use this jail. I guess so. there was also at the time, cause there was only people there there was one warden one guard and one foreman with his assistant oh my god it was uh small business saturday small businesses you know so uh slow start but by 1832 which which was almost 100 years later, it was the largest penitentiary.

1832. 1932, sorry. Oh, oh, oh. So, 1836, it opened. 1932. Got it. Almost 100 years later. It was the largest penitentiary in the U.S.

Oh, now look who's talking to him. I know. I should have waited a century. Look who's talking to him. I know. I should have waited a century. And around this, I mean, fun fact, too, is that at this point, the prison had been open for almost 100 years, and only now Alcatraz is being proposed.

Just to let you know how much older this prison is from Alcatraz, 100 years older. That's pretty weird. Isn't that bananas? Yeah. So pretty soon, or pretty much as soon as it opened uh the missouri state penitentiary had a program where they would quote lease out inmates to businessmen for labor which is super basically slave labor like thank you i didn't know if i didn't know what you pay for people

yeah unwilling people by the way yeah i didn't know if you would say slave labor or if i would say slave labor but one of us was gonna say it i'm gonna say it so something's going on with this water bottle it is fucked up i i feel like someone it's like spraying. Anyway, I don't know what's happening. I don't either, quite frankly. So it's just, it's like weirdly, like I've wiped away the spot where it would have left a ring and it keeps having a, like, oh, it's sprung a leak. I guess so. But it's also one of those like big old, like two liter bottles.

So it's sprung a leak. We're about to have a flood in here. How fun. Keep lemon off the ground, off of the surface. do you think i did look at him keep him safe look at him um i just look at that and i'm like i can't believe this like if you told 10 year old me what my career was and they got a glimpse of this exact image i'd be like i don't know what to tell you uh if you told 10 year old me that i would be uh really emotionally attached to a lemon i'd be like i know that sounds about right okay yay that's at least we broke even then

so uh yeah oh back to slave labor i'm sorry sorry. Right, yeah. So they had a, quote, lease program, gross, which is like so you could basically sell humans for work. Great, okay, as long as we know what we're doing here. And the inmates were ordered to work in nearby factories and build new properties nearby. This included the warden's mansion. So he watched you build his own home um and they also had to build a stone wall out of limestone from the quarry oh limestone i know it i know it and so

the stone from the quarry uh so it was limestone and when missouri state penitentiary was finished being built it was surrounded in limestone and 15 towers so this whole this whole prison is just covered in limestone which by the way is like a big conductor for paranormal energy so when working or when being sold out for labor, the inmates use these opportunities to try to escape because it was so common. There was only so few of them that they were being sold out to work outside of the prison. And so when they were not on the grounds, they took these chances to escape the best they could right so escapes were super common because they would be told like hey go clean out this sewer pipe in town and then they would try to like jump down the sewer pipe and like and flee the whole town like

i mean they were just doing whatever they had to get away right yeah there was a few times where they would just like hijack someone's horse and wagon and just try to take off. Like, I mean, they were just, if you're bringing all these people out and they're trying to escape and you're not really watching them because there's one warden and he's not even going with them. And you're trying to, he wants you to build his house, his mansion. People would just escape all the time so to a point where in 1868 so the prison was open for about 45 years now uh there was headline news that broke out in town because guards had discovered a tunnel that had been dug out i i assumed this was a team effort and anytime someone had a chance they would go down there and start digging.

Um, because they found a tunnel that dug out very closely. Um, it almost reached under one of the limestone walls that had been shoved into the ground. Whoa. And so it was just, someone was digging,

digging, digging, and they were so close. That sucks. Had the guards found it like a week later, they would have been able to have dug out and all 700 inmates at the time would have been able to escape all at once. Okay. I said that sucks, but like, I don't want to put, I don't know who was in there for

what reason. So I'm not going to say, yeah, let them all out of the tunnel. But I, it just sucks to be the person digging. It certainly does. But I like to think it was a team effort in my mind. Everyone was kind of like, hi-ho, hi-ho, and just dig, dig, digging. And to me, it feels more of a communal effort. But truly, had the cops waited a like a couple days longer everyone would have

been able to escape damn instead of just doing it when they were out working they were just all gonna flee in the middle of the night so this was brought to the attention of the town and they were like okay we have suffered long enough with like just random inmates breaking out at all times. We have been on edge. And now you're telling me all 700 almost got out at the same time. So you guys have to do something about this. This isn't cute anymore. So they made a bunch of changes.

And by 1900, Missouri State Penitentiary was called the most efficient and the greatest prison in the world. Probably not to the inmates but that was what the press was calling it greatest is a relative term but okay the greatest prison okay so when how does that love that how does that work um so let's take a moment and talk about the women of the prison cool great so in 1842 the first female inmate was brought in. Her name was Amelia Eddy. She was from St. Louis for grand larceny. And she was released within days, even though she had a two year sentence because they just didn't have accommodations for her. They were just like, well, we don't have separate bathrooms or beds for you. Like they didn't think about that before

she went into the jail. I was gonna say, what are they expecting what's gonna happen yeah so she's like i'm on my period and they're like get out the demon she's a demon and so uh yeah she just like within days they were like okay just get out of here and most of the early female inmates uh were there for some sort of infraction against immigration or conspiracy laws so nothing necessarily violent okay and up until the 1860s all of the women were housed in a seemingly nicer facility uh compared to the men eventually the female block needed a couple expansions and by 1926 they were transferred to a different facility i think it was still owned by the missouri state penitentiary but it was just a different property okay um it was literally like a farmhouse like it was a plantation home yikes uh that had been converted into like a prison farm oh oh my gosh a lot of bad a lot of bad energy there yeah um apparently it was called farm number one which implies there are more farms or just the greatest farm it was the greatest jail

now it's the greatest farm right someone called it number one they were like okay that's it we love that and even though that sounds like super dark and i'm not trying to make, um, you know, the, a prison experience lighthearted. It does seem like the women that were staying at farm number one had a significantly better time than having been at the Missouri state penitentiary. I'm sure they still had a miserable time, but it sounds like with the women, every time they get transferred to a new location things improve for them got it um so in the 1960s they ended up having to get relocated again and this is a quote on the conditions that they moved into the women until i remind her they're incarcerated they were housed sometimes only one or two to a room they They enjoyed badminton, volleyball, and even a swimming pool.

Their families were allowed to visit and could bring in a picnic lunch. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. Probably better than the number one jail. Right. Yeah. I don't, again, I don't know. This was like a quote from somebody who probably wasn't an inmate there.

So I'm sure it's a great time. They're having so much fun. Uh-huh. Like I see, we're just listing much fun uh-huh like i i see we're just listing the perks here but like good point there could have been some really horrid abuse i'm not trying to sneak past that but it in this one quote it's like okay so like they it sounds it sounds pleasant it sounds like a pleasant experience based on this one quote, which I'm sure is messed up in some way. So now back to the men.

I just wanted to give the women a highlight for a second. So back to the men. On the proper Missouri State Penitentiary cell block, the average number of inmates in this prison at one time was around 2000 um throughout its time the peak one time it got up to 5200 which is oh my gosh more than double yeah and there were times where there were up to six inmates per cell and the conditions were obviously not so great especially in the 1800s before people like really were trying to care at all. So just to give you some juxtaposition of what the women might've been dealing with. Yeah, yeah.

In 1954, time traveling a little bit there, but in 1954, the biggest riot in jail's history happened where inmates faked being sick so the guards would check on them in their cell and then they beat up those guards and grabbed their keys and just ran down the hall and unlocked everybody and everyone started breaking windows they started breaking property they started attacking people there were a few people in solitary who they like tortured like like the the inmates instead of trying to get out were just

like attacking each other throwing concrete at each other oh my god like it was just like chaos true chaos yeah um the riot lasted all night and the guards were so outnumbered that they ended up having to call in the highway patrol three different cities worth of police departments and the national guard oh boy um because at the time i think there was like 2,500 people locked up during this riot so it was 2,500 people versus like i don't know in my mind 10 guards so yeah ultimately this they try i'm sure a lot of inmates tried to escape that day but the results of this riot was that four inmates died somewhere between 30 and 50 inmates and guards were injured and shockingly zero escaped really but the damages were estimated at five million dollars in 1954 which is 52 million dollars how is that even possible 52 million dollars i don't even know

how you could like how is that all of the budget you had for the last several years or something like there's no way that the prison cost more than that in no way not 52 that's i mean what was it then five million five million in. They break that could possibly have been worth that much. Well, all I know is that the prison had been flooded. There was like several inches of water on the floor when everything was able to calm down. There was a bunch of fires that had been set by rioters and the fires severely burned a lot of the buildings. And a lot of furniture was destroyed And a lot of furniture was destroyed. A lot of people were hurt.

So I don't know how they equated it, but it sounds like every window and piece of property was damaged in some way. Wow. But in my mind, a prison doesn't have $52 million worth of anything. That's what I'm thinking. Because if you're taking away all of the luxuries of life like tables and chairs 52 million dollars i don't know i don't know how it works it's not m's troll hole i mean the furniture i'm saying no uh yeah i wonder because it's not also like they obviously had computer digital anything digital like fancy you know technology so i don't know that's that's pretty wild um so as for

the injuries most of them came from the fact that the troopers had to open fire on people just to get them to calm down because nothing else was working oh god they were like on the roofs of the buildings just shooting into the windows at one point there was like 18 different uh guards who had to come in with machine guns like holy shit it was everything they could i don't know i guess they just could not keep it down um and the next day everyone and everything was searched by guards and another hundred cops who volunteered to come in and help with the searches and they ended up finding in the prison sledgehammers, axe handles, screwdrivers, scissors, files, and shanks, unquote, hidden all around the prison. None of the research I did, by the way, I was looking through Google on every page I could find.

I watched a bunch of different TV shows. And nowhere seems to explain just how violent this prison was or why it was called the bloodiest 47 acres until I watched Destination Fear that was the only one who like leaned into the narrative that this had I had I not watched that episode I would have completely not discussed how violent this prison was oh my goodness to a point where like I am still kind of paranoid that I was watching a different prison episode, uh, upon destination fear. Cause I was like, why is nobody else talking about this? Like they've really just took a completely different angle than everyone else. So, um, anytime I say anything that sounds shocking goes probably

through destination fear. Okay. One, um, piece of evidence to how violent this place was, was that in 1963, in that year alone, there were 550 separate assaults and hundreds of stabbings. Whoa, shit. One of the worst punishments, this is a quote from one of the historians, is that they had a cat of nine tails, leather straps with shards of metal and glass on the end to fillet a man's flesh. Another quote is from a different historian. The most the most lashings was ninety nine lashes at one time. They would gauge how bad it was

by how deep the blood would be in your shoes. Oh my God. And when Missouri State Prison had a death row, it was in a dungeon cell block called The Hole in the basement. Ooh. Where not just the death row inmates were, but the unruly and unstable.

So if you had a mental illness, just in case they didn't want to deal with you, allegedly they would inject you with antipsychotics and just bring you down there. Put you in the hole. Nothing good happens in the hole. No. And especially because in the hole, there were people who stayed down there for years and years and years at a time. who stayed down there for years and years and years at a time. And they would come back later blind,

mentally, like they said, mentally insane yikes. And then, um, one person came out, he was, he was blind. He had lost his sanity and he died a few days later because he had been in

the hole for so long. That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. People who were left in the dungeon cells, they were only allowed one hour of exercise in a cage um and other than that they were in complete darkness the whole time there were sometimes up to 10 to 15 people per cell and the only light they could see came from under a door and even just looking at a guard would get them punished. I mean, this is just sick. There was, uh,

one inmate called fire bug Johnson, where he was called fire bug because he apparently, I don't know if this was during the riot or not, but at one point he tried to set the prison on fire. So he was brought down to the dungeon and he lived there, um, for a very long time. I'll let the title of his book,

let you know how it went. He somehow survived this and when released he wrote a book. I mean, we barely wrote a book and I have lived a life of privilege. Honestly, he must have written it in his head and just memorized word for word and all he needed was pen and paper

by the end. Just to be like, let me just jot this thing down I've been memorizing for years. Otherwise, what else are you going to do with your time and also how did he survive keeping his sanity by the end of this because the book is titled buried alive for 18 years in the missouri penitentiary that's horrific i mean i i would read that i wonder if he probably talks about it about what he did to keep himself kind of oh well he i think a lot of the pages were about him just trying to daily cope with it yeah terrible um and remember how i said the inmates were forced to work and build their own jail this included their gas chamber oh so in missouri state penitentiary opened, the original standard for executions was hangings.

But in 1937, inmates installed the gas station, not the gas station, the gas chamber using the same limestone as the rest of the building. Oh, fuck. So now a gas chamber made of limestone. So you tell me how that goes in a paranormal world. Yeah. 40 people died in the gas chambers uh at missouri state penitentiary and the gas chamber was an option until 1989 really and around this time uh around the time that executions were stopped at missouri state very fucked up fun fact the last execution at missouri state penitentiary was the only one to

not be in a gas chamber and it was the first to be a lethal injection of all the inmates who died there and the extra fucked up part was that just because they had the space they the lethal injection was done in the gas oh my god what on earth yeah so death penalty is inhumane i'm sorry i'm very anti-death penalty i don't know if anyone knows that about me but i think they could probably read the room i think they can read the room sorry if you disagree everybody but yikes so when executions ended here um all of the 70 death row inmates who were waiting their turn yikes they were all transferred to a new prison in potosi i think is the name of the town so um executions ended in 1989 i think it was yeah it was right after the the lethal injection one um and then all those inmates were transferred.

So of the people who died here, only one was a woman. It was by the gas chamber. Her name was Bonnie Heddy. And she not only was the only female inmate to be executed, but she was executed here with her boyfriend because they together kidnapped a little boy and killed him. Oh, no. So I think the story went that they held this kid for ransom and it was a lot.

I think it was like the most amount of money that a ransom note had been up until that point. It was like over half a million dollars. And I think the story goes that the dad was able to find the money to give them to have his son back. And within a few hours, the son had already been killed. And so they don't know why they even asked for the ransom. That's terrible. Within an hour or two, the boy was going to die. So they were, I think, executed together as a couple, which is like, Oh God, I guess.

I don't even know if that's so romantic. Yeah, no, that's, I don't know how to explain that, but it feels like there's some weird poetry to that. Yeah. And what's very weird is next to the gas chamber, right next to the door where they would like close you in. There's a picture of all 40 mug shots of the people who died what and why would you do that i guess just to put faces to the name now

not like back then it wasn't like no still we're gonna put your photo no there's like there's a framed picture of all the mug shots people who died oh so like to honor them sort of. Yeah. Okay. And then right next to the gas chamber is a parking lot, which I'm not kidding when I say right next to. Like you could, you're not even 10 feet away from a parking lot. So when you just randomly park there now, you just see the gas chamber. How freaky. And the parking lot is on top of a potter's field of hundreds of inmates. What's the parking lot for? Is it for like an edible arrangements or something?

I don't know because there is a fence around it. So I wonder if it's like a general parking lot or if it's for the penitentiary. I'm unsure. I hope it's for Baskin Robbins. Yeah, like something like oddly not on brand. Really innocent. But yeah, so there's hundreds of people, unmarked graves, who are all buried underneath a parking lot, feet away from a gas chamber where 40 people died. So, yowza.

Made of limestone, by the way. Made of limestone. And there were several inmates who lived here, by the way. Made of limestone. And there were several inmates who lived here, by the way. This includes serial killers Robert Berdella and Charles Ray Hatcher, who actually died by suicide in his own cell here. Another is MLK's

assassin, James Earl Ray. He actually escaped. This is like a weird story about him. I didn't know. He escaped this prison in a bread truck. Ooh. And then he fled to Mexico and became a porn director. What?

And then he came back to the U S and that's when he assassinated, um, Martin Luther King. Oh, this was his pre. Yeah. That was his story. Assassination.

Yeah. Oh my God. What? There was also Charles pretty boy Floyd who I've heard about a million times in my life but i don't know who he is i think he's a robber and then uh firebug johnson uh and then uh i forgot to write his first name that's so embarrassing but a professional boxer by the last name liston if you're into boxing you would know who he is because he is a heavyweight champion he's very

famous who fought muhammad ali yeah sunny liston i think yeah sunny listen that's that's right that's right sunny listen so he actually started boxing while inside because he had nothing to do and i guess someone was there to like write up an article like he someone like at from a newspaper was at the jail and saw him boxing and was so impressed that he took it upon himself to renegotiate sunny liston's parole terms whoa and then i guess like was his chaperone or something but the the prison started letting um the prison uh helped negotiate his terms for this guy. And then this newspaper publisher started entering him in boxing matches. Oh, my God. And within a year, he was a heavyweight champion.

Whoa. So that guy was quite the town scout. He saw potential. Anyway, those are just some of the inmates. But in 1991, the Missouri State Penitentiary's name was changed to the Jefferson City Correctional Center, but then changed back in 2003 and by 2004 within that year the actual prison was decommissioned oh and now the jefferson city correctional center is opened in its place it's still like a an abandoned decommissioned prison so i don't totally know what they do there but it was so it's not an active jail anymore it's not an Oh, okay. But it does hold the title of the oldest continually operating prison,

the West of the Mississippi, which I feel like I've heard a million things or something from the West of the Mississippi. I just always thought that was a saying. I didn't know anyone actually measured a ranking with that, but okay. Um, anyway,

the prison was open for 168 years and the gas chamber is still there for for people to see and across from the prison across from the actual facility is um a home called the marmaduke house oh and inside of that is the missouri state penitary Museum, which is where you can go to get information about tours at the prison. Interesting. So these tours, I haven't heard about this one before, but I think this is super interesting. They offer a photography tour. So if you're just into architectural photography or abandoned places photography, that's cool. You just a guide will just go with you while you shoot for as long as you want. And thought that was super cool that's really neat then there was um they have overnight paranormal investigations and they have select mystery tours which is a tour that is led by an ex-inmate oh that's

interesting which i think is super interesting there's also one um reg it seems he seems like a regular tour guide uh that was an ex uh guard there so i wonder if the ex guard and the ex inmate know each other and if there's any like bad blood but i wonder yeah that's got to be weird so fun fact in the 80s back when death row was a thing a rec yard was being built for the death row inmates and because i guess they had to have their own separate area for wreck time sure and during the cruise digging they hit something and they ended up finding multiple long forgotten cells that were from the 1840s oh i just got goose cam so they found nine doorways because i guess there used to actually be a lower level of the jail and i guess when they didn't need those cells anymore they just

covered it with dirt and just started a new freaky to find doors to cells and you're digging yeah exactly yeah it feels like a portal to hell not to be too zach bagans about it but it feels like a portal to hell, not to be too Zach Bagans about it, but it feels very much like you just found a whole building under the ground. So they found nine different doorways and you could still see the original cell numbers on some of them. How freaky. So I guess these doors were part of a cell block called Centennial Hall, but nobody remembers why it was called that. Hey, that was my dorm room in college. Oh, God. Okay, well, no dorm room in college. Oh, God. Okay, well, no comment.

Shout out. Boil to hell. I was going to say, trust me, I am not failing to see the irony there. Anyway, go on. Well, so nobody remembered why it was called Centennial Hall, but also nobody even really remembered that Centennial Hall was a thing. So there were people that, when people found out about this, a bunch of former guards got interviewed being like,

did you know about these cells? Huh? And they were saying like, we've never heard about this. The people that were senior to us never talked about it. So like nobody heard about this, which kind of makes me wonder why people know it was called Centennial Hall. That's what I was wondering. Maybe there's a blueprint or something somewhere in hindsight.

But yeah, everyone apparently had just completely forgotten about this. That's freaky. The doorways were from the 1840s. So anyone who would have remembered what was from 100 years ago anyway. Yeah. And as of the last article I saw on it, these doorways were being dug up and exhumed and inspected, and hopefully they can be added as part of future tours. Wow, that's really cool. And now for the ghosts.

So there were hundreds of investigations that have been done at Missouri State because there were obviously many deaths, many brutal murders here, both guards and inmates involved in that. We're talking Missouri State. This is not like the school, right? We're talking to no penitentiary it's not related right no i know your brain is still on your college dorm room well you said at missouri state and i just want to make sure everyone's not like oh i went to school there or something i don't know no hundreds of investigations on the many brutal deaths at the jail and people often hear knocks and voices and footsteps they hear whistling banging cell doors slamming children and dogs men screaming from the dungeon and after watching enough um shows on this the sounds are pretty incredible like there's clearly heavy footstep shuffling very obvious male voices

talking to you like i feel like every show i watched got something and it was like not even something you had to second guess um people feel heavy in certain areas they feel dread they feel sadness people will also physically feel someone bumping into them, grabbing them, touching them. They'll feel cold breeze. They'll feel hot breath on them. And people will feel really sick or like they're being torn apart from the inside. Oh, what? Mm-hmm.

No. So people also smell cigarettes and overwhelming body odor, which might be because so many people were crowded together in the cells. Yeah, sure. And I assume the hygiene situation was not great. Mm-hmm. People see shadows of old prisoners hiding in the cells and reaching out of the cells. Oh. Like their arms.

Freaky. Oh, no, no no no uh they also see apparitions that have looked so real that tour guides have actually stopped tours in the middle and called cops to search the area thinking someone had broken in can you imagine how scary that would be like as your tour guide being like i need to call the police real quick oh yeah uh and the here's another fun fact i guess the prison was haunted even before it was decommissioned when it was a prison so uh there are guards and cell uh not cell members inmates i was thinking cell mates um there are guards and inmates who have all said that they used to see things.

Um, there's one guide who says that he, when he was a guard, this is the guy who was formerly a guard and now he's a tour guide. Yeah. He remembers seeing an inmate just come absolutely walk right past him out the door and turn the corner while he was talking to somebody. right past him out the door and turn the corner while he was talking to somebody.

And he got mad because he, that guy was breaking the rules. He thought that they were like counting up people or something. So he was like ready to like charge after this guy and be like, Hey, come back. But when he turned the corner, he wasn't there.

This guy ended up looking all over the building being like, have you seen this guy? Have you seen this guy? Apparently he had blonde hair and a white t-shirt. Um, and he just was strolling right out of the building being like have you seen this guy have you seen this guy apparently he had blonde hair and a white t-shirt um and he just was strolling right out of the building and and this this guard the guy he was originally talking to he was an inmate and he went oh yeah that guy like he's you're not gonna find him like he's he's gone oh that's freaky and the guy was like yeah he had blonde hair and a white t-shirt right and so both of that the inmate and the guard both saw this person at the same time wow that's he was not real i hope i explained that right i feel like you did well i don't know

if you've spent right but i got it whatever your brain connected with my brain and i know what you meant people also see apparitions of inmates going in and out of the cells um you always feel someone like watching you or coming up behind you apparently in uh certain areas like the female ward people will see women in vintage clothing and they could either be in vintage prisoners clothing or they could be in like high collared dresses people have also seen a man outside near the fence and in a hall which is the oldest remaining building that seems to be a big hot spot where people get a lot of evps objects move equipment malfunctions and spirits are seen walking on the catwalk so in a hall there was a cell number 48 where an inmate was bludgeoned with a sledgehammer by other inmates for, I think, snitching.

One account said that people actually use the hammer to also break through the wall of his cell to get to him. That's morbid. Oh, I hate that. Imagine just hearing your own wall getting broken into and knowing that that same thing's going to get you. Apparently now in that cell, it's obviously a very dark feeling in there. People have gotten distorted figures in their pictures of that cell. People have also seen a man in a white coat and a clipboard nearby this cell and he walks very fast so i guess um people call his spirit fast jack but that's not scary at all no just moving real quick darting around behind you um and so well this also is the midwest right so

maybe he goes oh just got a school train past you pardon me oh that's the ghost you want and so uh the also cellmates in this area claim to hear whole conversations in empty cells or they would think that their cellmate was talking to them when they were actually asleep oh well that's annoying that's kind of annoying just hearing voices in every room it's awful also in the gas chamber i feel like every single video I watched, someone was experiencing a weirdly fast racing heartbeat. Which, as someone with what I'm going through right now, I don't think I could medically handle the gas chamber at this moment. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think I would even want to.

No, I wouldn't want to. But if everyone else with normal hearts is saying that they feel like their heartbeat is out of control yeah i don't need to find out you don't need to mess with that uh and like that part in all of the shows i was like weirdly like not triggered but i was like scared for myself i was like oh if i ever went there like i'm glad i'm being worn now yeah seriously so also people in the gas chamber claim that there is a female spirit probably bonnie because she was the only woman who died there they hear a woman talking in the gas chamber and apparently people have heard a woman saying the word love which she was executed

with her boyfriend that's true so people think that maybe she was maybe the last thing she said she was trying to say i love you and die before she could finish the sentence or something. So in the dungeon, people get their hair tugged, their ankles grabbed, they get scratched. They see shadow figures that are darker than pitch black. And a man with half a face lives there. What? The basement cells of three, the three cell block three hall okay um they apparently one guide says it is the creepiest place on the property the same guide said quote

there's an odd energy down there it can be any size any shape it can sound like a little kid it could sound like your sister oh ew so it's like a shapeshifter like mimics yeah yeah also apparently in the in the three hall basement cells there is a giant shadow figure that opens its mouth and silently screams good night goodbye i don't want to be a part of that and as we mentioned a bunch of times earlier, interestingly, the Missouri State Penitentiary was built out of limestone, which is known to really instigate paranormal activity, encourage it, if you will. So that can't be helpful. And the Missouri State Penitentiary has also been featured on Ghost Hunters, Destination Fear, and Ghost Adventures. And we'll never know

because i secretly changed my password well i found out anyway i just did it in an unsavory way so i understand okay uh wink wink so as of destination fear they got some pretty creepy stuff the main thing was that there was a lot of very loud dragging and a lot of very loud banging in the dungeon and also in the dungeon uh the music box went off by itself um the paranormal music box which is very creepy and in the gas chamber uh one of the people was talking about how before the gas would come on in the chamber to let the inmate know that the gas was about to come in. The guard would knock three times on the door.

And so one of the investigators knocked on the door three times and a loud bang knocked back on the other side of the door. That is horrifying. That was the worst. And then they were like, okay, so maybe we're talking to Bonnie since she's known to haunt this area. Sure. So the investigators were sitting in the chairs of the gas chamber talking to Bonnie and using an Ovilus, the very creepy Microsoft Sam voice.

Yeah. And they said, how did you end up here? And the Ovilus said, bury, as in like they buried a kid. Then they said, why did you even kill the kid? If you got your ransom money and the obvious said killed, which they took as like, it just, they just, that Bonnie just wanted to kill, but I don't know. Okay. So that was super creepy.

That was destination fear. And those were the highlights of destination fear and then as for ghost adventures i kept waiting for zach to say something really wild unfortunately i did not get that moment this time he seems to actually be taking it pretty seriously when i think someone said gas chamber to him and he was like okay got it yeah um so on the walkthrough pretty immediately zach starts acting out of character. He starts feeling really sad at the end of the dungeon or at the end of the hole. And when he comes back later to this spot, because he knew he had been affected by it, he gets there and his stomach starts feeling really bad, like to a point where it becomes

part of the running narrative of this episode that he like really feels bad. He does inform everyone he did not have diarrhea that day thank you we were all wondering he said for science i wasn't experiencing diarrhea so actually you know what he did throw me a good one i was gonna say that's pretty bonkers but he was he looked like he was not feeling good and so as zach leaves the room because i think he's like fuck this like i don't i don't feel good um a huge bang is heard behind him where he had just been standing and then while complaining about his stomach to people another bang happens behind him um in the basement they got some very loud very creepy male voices and footsteps in real life or like in real time they were able

to hear that and probably the creepiest part to me of all of ghost adventures or any of the shows that i saw about the missouri state penitentiary was the ghost adventures crew decided that they were going to hang out in nerve center which is where they like have all their monitors and computers and they left an ovulus down in the i think in the dungeon or in the basement or somewhere and they just using a walkie-talkie that they had left in the basement through nerve center they were just sitting there talking into the walkie-talkie and asking the ovulus questions and then they had the ovulus like a camera next to the machine so they could see from nerve center what the ovulus was saying cool so it's kind of just like a remote it was like zoom calling with the ghost i guess i like that working from home

situation mostly zoom call and so they were walkie-talking questions into the basement to see what the obvious would say and they asked if you if you talk to us, we can help you. And the obvious says reverend. And they said, why do you need a reverend? Do you have any last words? And the obvious said information. And then they were like information about what the obvious went Jesus, which I like that.

It feels like, it feels like kind of like a karen moment of like i have some questions about jesus real quick like hang on i need i need some more some some clearer further detail jehovah's witnesses knocking on the door like hello would you like to learn about jesus today i have some information on your car's extended warranty and also see i saw it as like a this spirit was like um i died and i got some things to ask i have to ask about jesus because i where i'm still here that does not make sense like uh can a reverend explain what's going on because last i checked i was supposed to

be going somewhere else um so the obvious said information jesus, Jehovah's witness. I'm just kidding. I just thought that. Oh my God. I was like, I knew it. So he said, Reverend, why do you have, why do you need a Reverend? Do you have any last words? Information, Jesus. And then the obvious said change and Bible. Which all those words together makes me feel like they were saying like i need to talk to a reverend because i want i want to change and so i can like like move on or something yeah seconds after

saying the word bible uh it says demon and then oh and by the way like ovulus then ovulus does not say that many words that quickly on its own for the most part like usually you're waiting like every five minutes or so a word might come up it does not as quickly as it is here go information jesus change bible demon that's not usually how it goes so and i don't maybe they know how to finagle equipment but i i don't think there's a way to explain that unless it's really happening it's especially for all those words to get strung along all at the same time because i feel like like an obvious will say like book cigarette grapefruit dog yeah like it like it just shouts random words or that's how it feels sometimes So for it to be saying things within a theme is very odd. Bible, Jesus, Reverend, demon, like those alone,

that's not good for me. And then they got, they caught on camera two very loud bangs in the room that make no sense. And then the ovulus said, now lost, trapped. Which very, which makes me feel like it's saying like i need to talk to a reverend i need jesus i'm trapped here that's so sad um the next thing that the ovulus says again says all three of these words together which it is not normal for an ovulus to say a full fucking sentence

but the ovulus said three words all at the same time and it was twist men apart i know oh my god and then nick says something like oh that's how zach described his stomach earlier when he was down there he said that he wasn't feeling good and he was just saying this to his his friend like oh yeah that's what that's what zach was saying he said like he felt like he was being like ripped apart and then the ovulus said see nick oh as in like like an immediate response of like yeah you fucking get it that's what i'm trying to get get the point across to oh my god that was eerie to me i don't know how to explain that creepy and then i'm just going to end on this which i thought was very interesting. But one of the deputy wardens that used to work here, he was interviewed by the ghost of interest people.

His name was Mark Schreiber. And he wrote a poem while he was there, I guess, because he was one of the last deputy wardens. The prison was decommissioned 2004 and he wrote this in 2000. So I feel like he wrote this when he was there. Yeah. And apparently the poem is called a hall, Missouri state penitentiary. 2004 and he wrote this in 2000 so i feel like he wrote this when he was there yeah and apparently

the poem is called a hall missouri state penitentiary so or maybe it was at the location i don't know if that was not the title he said read it i am oh but i don't know if he was just jotting down the location or if he called it a hall missouri state penitentiary but this is by mark schreiber deputy warden okay and it's so good i was like oh shit like i i'm into this at first i was at first i was like i i don't know how this is gonna fly but yeah i was like oh okay i'm into this so well done mr schreiber the presence i feel as i walk through these halls looking and touching these massive stone walls. Walls that are smooth and cold to the touch, walls of lost history and killing and such.

In the dim light a specter I feel, walking and stalking, oh yes, it is real. For this is a place where dead men are kept, a place where I, as their keeper, once crept. men are kept a place where i as their keeper once crept so look as you will as you pass through this space for it is the tomb of our lost human race glance in a mirror as through life you race so the specter i saw won't surprise you someplace as the specter you see may be your own face and i was like i feel like he happened to mention to zach like oh yeah i have a poem about how haunted this place is and zach was like get that shit to me now did zach read it or did the no he let he let he let mark schreiber read it but it it was so eerie i was like wow the fact that also if it was time stamped at from the year 2000 so like it

wasn't like he did this for ghost adventures like he was clearly talking about the ghost before anyone was filming that is so spooky anyway that is the mystery the missouri state penitentiary that was a good one m i got a lot of gasps in on that story i heard him i heard them all twist men apart i oh i know isn't that crazy like the an ovulus i've i've never heard of an ovulus saying a whole goddamn sentence yeah especially like i don't know not i don't know if grammatically correct is the right word but i would imagine if i heard an ovulus say multiple words at once, it, they may not make sense together and you'd have to guess how they all relate to each other. But that's a full sentence as far as I'm concerned.

I didn't like it. That is. And the, the other ones being so religious and it's not like the obvious only has like certain religious leading ghostly words. Like it has totally random English words. Creepy. Oh yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I hope Ugh, creepy. Oy, oy, oy.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. And I'm sorry that it took so long for me to cover that. But I got to say, I'm very excited that I was able to do a super haunted penitentiary story. Because we don't get a lot of this anymore. I feel like we were due for kind of a creepy jail story. It's been a while. And I think it's one of the only maximum state penitentiaries that you can still either tour or do paranormal investigations at. I think there's only like five or six of them that are out there.

Yeah. Well, you know, my mother-in-law grew up in Missouri and I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure in Jefferson City, or at least in JC, I'm pretty sure I might be misstating that but i know she's told me like that uh that jail does tours and stuff so um she'll probably know a little

about it but yeah we can go visit blaze grandparents and uh go on a little tour wait you mean i can go on another group date with you hang on a second this is what i do i drag everyone along with me. Are you driving or something? He's driving us. Okay. Well, I just, wait. Oh, my God. What?

Sorry. My story is from Missouri today and it's from the 1800s. Ah! Oh, my gosh. Okay. Hang on. Wait. What happened?

Okay. This is so weird. All right. Sorry. I've always hoped okay so every time i i get to do a story where i mention a killer in mind where i was like oh the inmates were the serial killer i always hope that it's the person you're going to cover ah i don't think i mentioned oh my gosh no well i don't know probably not i don't know if it'll

ever happen but i always hope it's such a fun little uh or if you mentioned the ghost of someone and then i cover that person one day we'll get there it'll be a very fun moment for us and nobody else century i'm gonna see if this guy was was there but he was oh well he was taken to the state prison in carson city so i guess that's a different one that's cc that's cc my mistake my mistake uh how dare i get them confused um okay so this actually was the story i covered in kansas city missouri back in the day uh when we did a live show there uh-huh your fallout boy shirt well i got the fallout boy shirt oh the best day of my life do you remember who gave that to me i think his name was riley

right riley i almost said reagan riley riley uh gave me that shirt that was so i still have it obviously uh kept in a very safe place and i'm not going to tell you because some robbers might come find it i was gonna say what because you think I'm going to like blow my nose in it or something? Well, now I think that. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. Okay.

So this is the story of Milton Sharp, the inconvenient outlaw. Okay. Well, sign me up because it sounds. I'm so excited about this one. Sounds exactly like someone I would like to be. I'd like to be named the uh the inconvenient anything really you would be i know you said this before but you would be the inconvenient ghost you would like put everything two inches to the right and like screw up

everybody's uh furniture arrangement and stuff like that the jim halpert of ghosts is really all i attain i just want i just want to slowly gaslight people for eternity. Wow, that's so nice of you. Thank you for admitting that on air. It's not toxic whatsoever. Because in my mind, I'm like, once I'm dead, I'm going to need something to entertain me for the rest of time. So I might probably become evil. Not demonic evil, but certainly in an inconvenience way, I would be the devil. Just a problematic ghost.

Just to fuck with people, I think. I would have a real kick out of it. And then if people wanted to be mad at me, I'd be like, I'm dead. Okay. Like, let me over it. Let me live. Let me have this. Let me live. Okay. Let me live as a, as a dead person. Okay. God live a little. All right. So, uh, a lot of this information I got from tomrizzo.com, uh, and he. So a lot of this information I got from TomRizzo.com, and he wrote up a lot of this information. But this is the story of Milton Sharp, the inconvenient outlaw. He was born in 1846 in Lee's Summit, Missouri, which is about 20 miles from Kansas City. He moved to California as a teenager in 1869 and began working in the mines but when he reached his early 30s he decided he wanted an easier way to make money okay and that was to rob stagecoaches so obviously what else would it be right so it's a uh so a stagecoach is a large closed horse lawn horse. What is it? It's a horse or a lawn? This is what I have quoted.

Okay, let me read it again. Yeah, read it slower because I really don't know what you're talking about. This is what I have written down. It's a large closed horse horse lawn vehicle. What? That didn't help me. I think I meant horse drawn vehicle. That didn't help me. I think I meant a horse drawn vehicle. Oh,

that is what you meant. 100% horse, horse lawn. What was it? It's like duck, duck, goose. Oh boy, Christina.

Okay. I'm sorry. Horse, horse lawn. Poor Tom Rizzo. I'm like, I got all this information from tom rizzo he's like i didn't know you did it he's like no you did not i'm so sorry okay it's a closed

horse-drawn vehicle formerly used to carry passengers and oftentimes mail along a route between two places so i mean makes sense sounds pretty horse-drawn to me horse sounds pretty horse-drawn yeah i would agree with that sodrawn. Yeah, I would agree with that. So Milton Sharp teamed up with this guy named W.C. Jones, whose alias was Frank Dow, and the two began preying on stagecoaches, specifically Wells Fargo stagecoaches. And if you see the logo for Wells Fargo,

it's still that old stagecoach. It's the Wells Fargo logo. Also, I think it's still that old stage coach it's the wells fargo logo also i think it's sacramento they have um uh like the original wells fargo there or like a wells that still looks like it did from when it opened in the 1800s and you can go in there and like make yourself old like a bank note like you can make yourself um like they have all the old versions of documents that you can fill out with like a pen and quill and stuff how cool is that i wrote something i did something or maybe it's like a telegraph you pay like you're your own telegraph where like you basically get to

write a note to somebody and then you pay for it cool It's not the real setup, but as like a tchotchke, if you wanted to treat yourself, you can go in and like buy a fake teller's note or something. And, um, I go in for Allison. I don't know where it is anymore, but I, when we were on tour in Sacramento, that was like my favorite thing. Cause it's so neat. They really make you feel like you time traveled. That's so cool. That's your dream. I mean, you know, it makes a lot of sense. So basically they were targeting these Wells Fargo stagecoaches. And back then they were known to carry, quote, treasure boxes, which were filled with gold and silver. And they would carry these from Nevada to California.

So this was obviously a very dangerous thing to be doing, just horse drawing like boxes of treasure across the country. So they're, they're carrying these, Sharpe and his partner are targeting them. And so Sharpe and Jones had served a stretch at San Quentin before meeting up in Bodie, California. And Jones, this partner guy was described as famous for his heavy drinking, large beard, and scary sounding voice. So he was a good partner to have, I guess, if you're going to be robbing people. Sure. But whereas Jones was loud and aggressive, Milton Sharp, the inconvenient outlaw, was not exactly the traditional outlaw or what you would consider. A sneaky snake.

Exactly the traditional outlaw or what you would consider. A sneaky snake. He was well-dressed, courteous, and always concerned with the well-being of his victims. Oh. That sounds like a very convenient outlaw. Like, that sounds like convenient to my safety and health. Yeah, not convenient to your gold jewelry, but everything else maybe. I mean, if I were to get robbed or put in a situation, if I felt safer physically, I think I'd be more inclined to comply.

So that's kind of what happens. Yeah. So you're basically right on the nose here. To be fair, their first robbery was kind of a flop because they walked away with only 88 and three watches but their next robbery netted them more than 15 000 in their money which today would be about 330 000 wow so they were like good for us yeah good for you in a way where i'm ied out. But I'm going to step back. Yeah. So they stuck with it.

They traveled all along the Midwest and Western train routes, robbing stagecoaches. They robbed six in less than four months. And because of this, their exploits began hitting newspapers nationwide. In fact, so many stagecoaches were being robbed on this one track, this Wells Far track to california that a news article called the whole robbery thing monotonous like it's getting a little boring they're like okay like we need we're honestly i'm not stimulated on this anymore so the features editor was like i'm so tired of these freaking stories somebody finds it something more interesting. Can we zhuzh this up, please? A new headline, please.

But Sharp's odd mannerisms were interesting enough to keep the public fascinated. So Jones, the scary, like bearded beast-like guy, would hold the driver in guard at bay and then Sharp would line up the passengers and apologetically announce the following. I'm gonna put my hands like this a thousand pardons for the inconvenience i have caused you but you see these are the hazards of

my profession we must relieve you of your valuables oh okay so very polite you know what that actually is actually a lot more sinister in my mind now because it's so out of sorts it's like because now i feel like if i was approached by someone who was very very kind as they were robbing me now in my brain i'm like oh shit like you are tightly wound like if i say no you're gonna go from the nicest person to the craziest person yeah it starts to feel a little sinister uh yeah it's like, oh, I better listen now because what happens if I fight you on this? Well, for what it's worth, he was so polite

that on some occasions he reportedly even returned the jewelry he stole, but only if a woman started to cry while he was robbing her. Okay, that part, okay, noted. That's me as a robber. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That actually is, that's 100% you. I don't even know if you would be called the, I feel like the Inconvenient Outlaw isn't the right name for him so far. I feel like it's like the weirdly

empathetic outlaw. Yeah, I wonder if, the outlaw with no boundaries, that's me, with harmful self, harmful lack of boundaries. Yeah, the people pleasing outlaw with no boundaries. That's me. With harmful lack of boundaries. Yeah. The people-pleasing outlaw. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of strange. I don't know why they called him inconvenient.

I wonder if it's because he would say, pardon me for the inconvenience, but I'm going to now rob you. So I think maybe that's why but according to one woman sharp was one of the politest gentlemen i ever met there was nothing vulgar or coarse about him everything he did was done in a business-like way and there was no unnecessary rudeness well thankfully at least the rudeness was avoided like he just like tips his hat afterwards and goes thank you ma'am and go on about your day splendid day uh and they were just so thankful for it yeah i wonder how frustrated the jones guy got though like he's like up there with a knife and a holding and a gun holding up the driver and milton sharp's like oh i'm gonna return this earring to you ma'am because you look

like he's like the people that are like gun toting criminals criminals, they're like, I'm trying so hard at this. And you're just like walking up to people and using manners. You're apologizing. Yeah. Victim said that before the robbers left, you literally called this sharp bowed and thanked the people he had robbed for being so cooperative. Oh, my God. That's so OK. I did nail it then. You did. you tipping his hat and strutting along

just strut along uh so the idea was that no one would get hurt that was kind of one of milton sharp's goals um because i guess that's rude to hurt somebody or kill somebody sure it's certainly if you want to talk about an inconvenient outlaw killing someone or hurting them is certainly inconvenient for him if he just wants to move on about his day yeah it's definitely getting blood on your top hat it's probably not the most convenient way to begin the morning yeah i wonder if he just saw like if i'm nice now then like it's less cleanup for me later i think that makes a lot of sense uh and that was his goal but unfortunately on the night of septemberth, 1880, their attempt to rob the Bodie to Carson City, Nevada stagecoach went afoul, awry. Sour.

Went sour. So Jones, the beastly guy, allegedly quite drunk, apparently decided to fire a couple of shots. But one went astray and killed one of the horses, one of the stagecoach horses, tragically. went astray and killed one of the horses, one of the stagecoach horses, tragically. So the Wells Fargo guard, a guy named Mike Tovey, who was described as a fearless man over six feet tall, fired back at the pair, killing Jones.

So he murdered Sharp's partner. So during the scuffle, Sharp shot Mike Tovey in the arm, but he survived. And as he was being taken away for treatment, Sharp managed to escape in the dark and disappear into some nearby trees but instead of fleeing he fucking returned to the stagecoach because he still wanted to rob it okay so not like always the fast thinker no no a little too pot committed if you will um he returned to the stagecoach confronted the driver at gunpoint and ordered him to give up the strong box that held the coach's money and took three

thousand dollars with him leaving his partner's lifeless body behind so oof so so much for manners so much for manners not very gentlemanly if you ask me again that's the inconvenient outlaw i feel like it needs to be changed his name to like he just didn't want to be inconvenienced yeah i feel like there's nothing in i so far i'm still confused because there's nothing inconvenient about him he's like very conveniently robbing me if there was a way to do it conveniently yeah he's doing it and the only thing that's inconvenient about him is him not wanting inconvenience after the fact. I guess it's inconvenient in the way that you're going from point A to point B, but when you get to point B, you no longer have any jewelry left.

And you're like, well, that's inconvenient. It's certainly inconvenient to get robbed, but of all the ways to get robbed, it is the most convenient form of inconvenience. Yeah, that's a good point i just feel like like everything about him is lovely until you don't have money but at least like you felt pretty safe the whole time and then the only time he's like the only time i'm ever like questioning his judgment oddly enough is only when he's about to be inconvenienced where he's like oh i actually don't want to deal with my friend's corpse so i'm just actually i'm just gonna tiptoe over that and grab the money i'm gonna scooch right past you oh excuse me yeah

well it's about time i go hide in the bushes i'm trying to sound like the wine and crime girls and i can't do it we're doing a great job i'm sure of of it. So Wells Fargo, of course, was now desperate to track him down, especially now that the Mark, I'm sorry, Mike Tovey had gotten shot. The horse was killed. Like they're losing money left and right. And so they are now on the hunt for Milton Sharp. So trained investigators were put on the task. sharp so trained investigators were put on the task and now they had a clue which was they had jones's body since uh sharp was too inconvenienced to take it with him you know so they took a look at jones's body and observed that he had been wearing a peculiar mask made of red morocco

leather oh did he steal that at some point oh la la la. How did he just have that on him? Well, that's what he robbed with. He like wore it when he was robbing people. Hmm. I feel like he didn't just pull that out of a closet one day. I want to know the history behind this leather Moroccan mask. Okay, well, hold that thought. So, however, his body unfortunately was buried before investigators realized they never checked his pockets.

Now that's inconvenient. Now that's inconvenient. That was a silly mistake on not his part. Not his part. Certainly not. And speaking of inconvenience, they decided they were going to exhume the body because they wanted to check the pockets. And they were like, oh, shoot. Well, we just buried that thing.

So sure enough, they check in the pockets and they found a bank passbook with his name, a recent deposit of $1,000 and an address at a rooming house in San Francisco. So they found like all the information. So like smoking gun information. Smoking gun in the pocket. So investigators traveled to this address in San Francisco and searched the room. They find more Moroccan leather in the room. What is with this? Okay.

I don't know. I'm not going to ask any questions. You just keep going. And as they're searching, guess who waltzes into the door? Frickin' Milton Sharp. Oh. I did not know. As they're searching, guess who waltzes into the door? Frickin' Milton Sharp. Oh. I don't know why I didn't think the obvious answer.

I thought there was going to be more of a trick to that. Okay. So Milton Sharp walks in. So Milton Sharp walks in. And they tackle him. Because they're like, that's the guy we're looking for. They find $2,400 cash in his pockets on him and they arrest him. Another smoking gun, I'd like to say.

He walked right into the room they were searching, really not the brightest moment. So he was arrested and newspaper accounts described him as remarkably fine looking with jet black hair, a swarthyarthy complexion a goatee and black mustache and eyes that shine so brightly that it is impossible to distinguish their color someone had a crush i think i know yeah someone was really rude also swarthy i know swarthy

what does swarthy mean i think it means kind of like uh dark like olive complexion dark hair i i'm pretty sure i always i guess because the first few letters are the same but in my mind swarthy is equivalent to like swashbuckling i always think of pirates okay that is explained so dark yeah so like dark skin, dark complexion is usually what that means. But I always thought of pirates too. And I think you're completely right that it's swashbuckling. Also, you don't ever think of like blonde, blue eyed pirates. So like the sun, you know, so it makes sense. So Milton Sharp was charged with six robberies against Wells Fargo and a lynch mob gathered outside the jail while Sharp awaited trial. He was questioned intensely about the whereabouts of the money he stole, but he kept his mouth shut. And one day in November 1880, when a guard came to check on him, turns out Sharp had vanished, along with the 15-pound iron ball that was chained to his leg.

Whoa. He just took it with him. He just threw it over his shoulder and went, let's go. He had somehow managed to, speaking of which, tunnel his way through the brick wall of his jail cell

and make his great escape. So our stories are kind of connected, I guess. Hey, if they were the same tunnel as the one have been so relevant i know too bad uh so he was on the lamp for several weeks but eventually he was too tired hungry and cold and decided to turn himself in uh i don't know if he ever got that iron ball off or he's just carrying that thing around because that would make me tired too i yo i especially if only one leg's having to do it oh how annoying would that be your hips would be out of sorts so painful you'd have to scooch on your butt or

something you'd have to make that chiropractor appointment to get your hips rotated or something rotate my hips please like what Like what? Like tires? Like rotate them so they're using different. So you're not having, like, I bet if you walked into any doctor, they would be like, oh, one of your legs looks like it's been dragging a 15 pound iron ball. We need to do something about your walk. So he decided he was going to turn himself into the sheriff in Candelaria, Nevada. He was convicted of five counts of robbery. And because he refused to tell anyone where his hidden loot was buried, he was sentenced to 20 years in penitentiary.

Whoa. And he still wouldn't give it up. So nine years into that sentence, he managed to escape again. Interestingly enough, he was still on the run when our friend Mike Tovey, that Wells Fargo guard. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he was mysteriously shot a second time as he guarded a stagecoach headed for Jackson, Missouri. No, sorry. Jackson, Mississippi.

Oh, okay. State codes get me every time. I don't know what's in there. He's actually at the horse horse lawn last i checked so what's the matter with me mississippi uh it's the m's there's so many m states okay i'm done with my excuses uh so the rumor was that sharp had sent threatening letters to toby for killing his partner jones and so now the he was always basically um he was uh acute or accused or thought of as being a potential person of interest let's put it that way for the killing of mike tovey since he had been sending him threatening letters saying like how dare you kill my partner yada yada yada and obviously he was there for that first shooting

and so now he's mysteriously been shot again um unfortunately the shot proved fatal and mike tovey didn't make it this time but eventually milton sharp was tracked down in red bluff california and he was returned to prison where he managed to convince authorities he was not the one responsible for mike Tovey's killing. Oh, wow. His swarthy charm, I guess, got him also a reduced sentence. I'm telling you, if you're known as a robber to charm people, the guards and judges have to be aware of that and be like, you're going to do the exact same thing to me for sure. They got to close their eyes and be like,

what's that thing you tell your friend like don't let me don't let me yeah get my guard down like you stand strong if i exactly give into this swarthy fellow let me know we need a code a code word always need a code word and it's horse lawn honestly christine at this point when one of us goes, the way I will know that the Ouija board is not fucking with me is if you spell out horse line. I'm going to do it. Okay, good. So while in jail, he actually wrote a letter to Wells Fargo to apologize because you know how polite he is. Oh, yeah.

And he wanted to ask for a pardon he listed names and addresses of his past associates which probably not a good look for your past associates uh but listed all the names and addresses of his past associates and even convinced his old friends that he had died in a flood so that he could cut ties with them and then name all of them to wells fargo so he pretended to be dead and then ratted out all of his old co-patriots compatriots This guy knows what he's doing. He's not fucking around. To save my own neck, I will do whatever it takes. He is just not wanting the inconvenience himself.

That's what I'm saying. I'd like a pardon and I think it's worth all of my friends going to prison. I feel like they either perfectly named him or really need to rename him. Or need to flip it. Yeah. The only inconvenient thing about him is his own inconveniences. The fully, the fully convenienced outlaw.

Because he really only focuses on his own convenience. But so Wells Fargo receives this letter and they decide he has been fully rehabilitated. They're like, he has done a 180. They recommended he be formally pardoned. So he was. Honestly, who was the person who decided that? The person who wrote this weird flirty description about him? You're right.

Honestly, he was so swashbuckling. What did he do again? And so cute. So swashbuckling what did he do again cute um he needs to get out of here because like i gotta talk to him that skin has got to get under the sun again gotta get that vitamin d glow back um so he was pardoned and in 1894 he was released and he get this led a fully law-abiding life until his death in 1907. So for the rest of his life, he did not break one single law. Honestly, then you know what? I eat my words.

He was fully rehabilitated. He may have been, right? Maybe he was one person who just, he just needed to learn his lesson one time and that was enough for him. It's all the manners of it. He just needed to realize how impolite he was being. And then he changed his ways, you know? He was like, how could I have strayed so far? How could I have?

So he died in Yates Center, Kansas at the age of 60. And the remainder of his life was so law abiding, in fact, that it's rumored he never returned to get his gold from its hiding spot. Wow. He didn't even touch it. Probably because it was inconvenient for him to have to go back. To go get a shovel and then dig it up. Ugh, never mind. If someone else happens to be there, I will certainly ask them to do it for me though. So it's believed Milton Sharpe successfully robbed over 20 stagecoaches and yet he never revealed where he buried his gold,

nor did he ever go to retrieve it. the real mystery now is where sharp's treasure is located uh in 1910 two brothers by the names of gus and will hess claim to have found small amounts of sharp's loot hidden in the hills of bode california but it's estimated that over 70 percent of the treasure has never been found um it's been rumored to be buried on the old stage roads around nevada and california border but to this day it's never been found so wow road trip oh yeah but then his ghost will like reach down with a ouija board and be like horse lawn can you bring it back to me i horse lawn i really i planned on going back but now that you're over there if you could just do me a solid with my charming eyes and my swarthy skin the longest

fucking ouija board session ever because it's gonna be like i apologize for the major inconvenience but and somehow i'd be like i can't see your eyes but they feel dazzling i feel so like weak in the knees yeah you're so swashbuckling wow if if i were ever to be described as swashbuckling i think i'd just fall over that and now that he knows that i might be getting a message from beyond getting a little knock knock from from our friend milton sharp um so that was a short one i know but um i have to watch my baby today in like four minutes so i figured i'd do kind of a brief oldie but a goodie. No, that was a good one. Good job.

Well, we got a Missouri episode today somehow. I know. I don't know how that happened. That was not planned. But I hope everyone in Missouri has a great fucking day. Hope you like that little shout out to you. Yeah, a little tip of the hat to you, if you will. Tip of the hat from us to you. The most polite people you know.

All right. A tip of the hat to you, if you will. A tip of the hat from us to you, the most polite people you know. Yeah. All right. Well, I guess since you got to go watch your baby. I got to go do it. I got to go pee too, so I'm full of problems. Oh, my God. Okay. I know.

Well, quickly, at haste. And that's why we drink.