And That's Why We Drink - E282 A Sleep Zoo and a Big Gay Bathroom

Episode Date: July 3, 2022

It's episode 282, a perfectly chaotic episode, and let's just not reject Em in their own gay bathroom, OK? First Em covers the Maringa Abduction aka the AGRIPO Experiment. Then, she made Xiinön and she made the breast milk that's currently still in the podcast apartment: Christine steps up to the plate! She brings us the wild story of Belle Siddons aka Madame Vestal who truly knew how to con a man. It's also a story that has us pondering if we're charm school success stories... and that's why we drink!

hi christine i i know that complimenting your background means like oh we're calling out that you're at the and that's why we drink apartment but it is a very professional looking background is it oh i don't i feel like i'm just like i look like i'm so clean and like orderly and you know it's clean because we're we don't come here a lot together to cause right all right if i showed up at all i think it would be a disaster but i will say like the last couple episodes you've been in your mom's basement so this is just kind of a nice like lighting wise it's just kind of a step up thank you I actually do really like the lighting in here and I it's very nice it's just the ceiling light which never happens and also it's you know I don't know you're right it does look nice in here I don't know what I'm being all poopooey about um well thank you Christine yeah so I we got home and our internet's out so

we're staying here for a couple nights now now. A couple nights? They can't fix it that fast? That sucks. No, the closest appointment they had was like three days ahead. What the hell? I think that was it. I don't know. It was unnecessarily long. So we got back and we were like, oh, we just want to relax.

And then we had to, we literally within 20 minutes of being there, we're like, well, we can't be here without internet. So we just left. Well, it's lucky that this other apartment we have is close by. It worked. It was like so close by, like crazy close by. So it feels, it's fun. We've actually, there have been a few times where Allison and I have come here just to like, quote, get away. It feels like a little vacation. It feels like a staycation. So we got some dinner delivered last night. We watched a little Selling Sunset because you know I love my drama and my stories. Of course. But yeah, that was it.

How have you been, Christine? Oh, thank you for asking. I have been okay. Oh, do you want to ask why I drink? I'll just go to that. Yeah. Is there... Okay. Why do you drink, Christine? Yeah. Is there? Okay. Why do you drink, Christine? Sorry. Hey, hey, say your line here. Say your line now. Well, thank you for asking that totally unprompted question. I drank this week because I finally, finally got the nerve to call my doctor and schedule an appointment because I've been like really really tired and of course it's kind of like duh you have a baby you know but it's tired in a way where I'm like it's something's wrong you know oh okay and I'll sleep like during on blazes days off I'll sleep like 10 hours

straight and be still miserably tired always so I went to the doctor and so I called Friday and they were like well we have an opening Monday and And I was like, oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah, I'm coming in. And so I came in and he was like, and I was like, oh, also I have this terrible hip pain all the time and I can barely walk on it sometimes. And so what? Okay. This is also the first time I'm hearing about these things. I'm just full of ailments always. I'm just in pain, you know? And so I walked out of the office with an order of like 10 vials of blood work and an x-ray order. And they were like, oh, it's just right down the hall. So I just walked down the hall. They got my blood. I walked downstairs to the second floor, got my x-ray, left in like 20 minutes. And that night,

all my results came back. And I was like, what is this magical? Sorry, are you somewhere else with like universal health care or something? I know. What is going on? I think it's because it's at the, I guess I shouldn't say where it is. So maybe, I don't know. Some version of an urgent clinic, maybe? No, no, no. It's like, let's just say it's university level health care.

So maybe that's why. But I don't know. I really don't know because I have been in a lot of different healthcare systems, and they're not usually this efficient, but so I found out that my iron is very low, and I've had anemia in the past, so I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad I got it checked, and now he's prescribing me iron supplements and potentially, and I don't think I'll have to get an iron infusion. I've had those in the past, but I just remember how much it helped when I got it in the past. So I'm just really happy. I finally, you know, bit the bullet, got checked out, um, got low iron and my hip. Apparently I

just have like really swollen. Uh, he said there's no like joint disease or anything. I just have like really swollen. I don't know. It's just going to get worse as you get older. He just said, um, I need physical therapy. So I'm going to do that too. So anyway, probably mental therapy by the way. Well, I'm already doing that. That was priority number one, my friend. Well, wow. I'm sorry. I, I, I had no idea about any of that, but I'm, I'm glad you're doing better now. Like friday i was like i'm finally just gonna get over my stupid phone thing and call and it was very easy and they were like come in monday and then isn't that a bitch like i had i know i know it's there's a i mean like for all the times that i've like for all the doctor's appointments i've been going to recently and the fact that i could have just picked up a phone years ago done it it's embarrassing like it's like it's that is. It's that weird, shamey part of mental illness of like, man, like I only shot myself in the

foot for the last several years. But also it's like I couldn't, there's nothing I could have done. I could have gotten that bullet out of my foot years ago and I just couldn't. Honestly, if a real bullet was in my foot, I probably still wouldn't call a doctor. Same. I'd be like, I'm fine. I'd be like, this is my- It's not a big deal.

This is the new me. I'd be like, oh, but I'm in therapy. not a big deal this is the new me so i'd be like oh but i'm in therapy and it's like that's not gonna fix it anyway this is your sign if you're out there and you're like gosh something feels wrong i don't feel well even if it's something vague like my hip hurt and i kept being like whatever i'll just stretch and blaze was like you need to go get that scene in case you don't want it to get worse and so finally i was like you know what i'm just gonna do it the worst that happens is he says oh you need to stretch or the worst that happens with my tiredness is he says uh i don't know you need to stop drinking so much i mean

that would be a disaster really the worst he could say is like a lot a lot worse a lot worse it's like we need to take your hip out okay you're completely right the worst he could say i guess what yeah you know what i take it back the worst I know what you're saying. I'm just being an asshole. I know what you're saying. No, but you're right. But yeah, so if this, this is your sign, if you're like something feels off, but I don't know if it's worth going to the doctor, just go to your primary care. If you don't have one, I didn't for a long time, just like call an office and be like, Hey, you know, if you have insurance, if you're lucky enough to have insurance, it's such a nightmare out there.

So don't worry. I know that it's expensive and nightmarish. So if you are not able to do that, I understand. But if what's holding you back is what's holding me back, which was just like, I don't want to make the call. I don't feel like putting the time aside. This is your sign to just do it. Try it. You know, it's wild.

This is your sign to just do it. Try it. You know, it's wild. I guess I'll take it as my sign because for a while I've been wondering if I should go to a sleep clinic because of how wild my sleep habits are. But I mean, so I've had with all these stupid doctor things, I've gotten probably every single vial of blood pulled out of me at this point. And they didn't find anything wrong in any of my blood work. Like they're like my iron's fine and all that but so now i'm like well okay then i feel like i need to go to a sleep clinic because this is that was the thing he said if my blood if my blood levels were all normal the next thing they would look into is a sleep clinic so it's worth

and you know what i did is i downloaded this app and i can't believe i'm telling you about this um it's called shut eye and I know my brother and Renee have used it uh in the past um my brother talks in his sleep Renee does too and like makes all sorts of noises um and so I was like oh this will be interesting because he said well maybe you have sleep apnea and you don't realize it so I was like I'm just gonna download this and see and it basically just like records your sleep i've seen people use it on tiktok for yeah it's like yeah funny bits yeah um what do you sleep apnea i'm really afraid of what it showed me this morning what did it show you were you doing that thing again where you spit in the air and catch it in your mouth no i was like oh at least that i'll know what that is i think i'm taken over by a

demon in the middle of the night. I'm scared to play. I'm going to play the sound for you. This is what I did in the middle of the night. Okay. Should I play it? Yes. I didn't even show it to my mom in Blaze because I was so like freaked out.

And now I'm going to play it for everybody listening to the podcast. God. And by the way, that spitting up into the air and catching it was a one-time situation. But as far as I know. It was actually a two-time situation. Because I told Renee all about it and then that that fucking next that night we were on vacation in Palm Springs she took a video of me doing it and it's anyway it's impressive okay play this weird sound I'm scared of it um okay okay okay I'm gonna play it for you but like don't don't stop being my friend okay okay I'm gonna to play it for you, but don't stop being my friend, okay? Okay.

I'm going to play it. Here it is. Are you farting? No, it's going through my mouth. I sound like a cow demon. It sounds like it's like something's bellowing out am i dying like i'm like is that sleep like what's happening sounded like a well that's i thought it was a little toot because it sounded like it sounded like your butt had something to say no because i'm i mean i probably

was also doing that but i was under a comforter and a sheet and a weighted blanket so i that sounded it sounded like a it's still like a cow like what is that i'm so freaked out that i was doing that all night i didn't do it all night but i did it for a while literally slept next to you so many times so and i've never heard that but then again i also sleep like a rock yeah and that's what i was wondering because blaze hasn't heard that before but i guess he sleeps well too so maybe so now I'm freaked out anyway that's a weird sound that doesn't even because I was thinking maybe you burped and that was like the the exhale after but like that's not it either but it went on for a long time what is that noise I don't know freaked myself out this morning I was like I don't know if I like this app anymore um if you happen to be someone um in that works in sleep disorders, please explain for

us. Yeah, because I mean, maybe I'm just like doing a weird like, snore sound. I mean, I don't know. So now I feel like I need to make another doctor's appointment. Anyway, it's fine. It's all fine. I would definitely record yourself a second time and see if it's a recurring situation. Okay, good idea. Good idea. I mean, I feel bad. My baby used to sleep in that room. She's going to grow up like traumatized by these sounds. She's just going to, you're going to realize one day, like when you visit a farm, she does her best sleeping next to the cows.

She falls asleep in a pasture. I'm like, what? What's happening? She feels safe there. She's like, this is my new mom. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, no. No. Interestingly, you sound like a cow. And my other friend, my other, my childhood best friend Deirdre, she sounds like a bear when she sleeps. Oh, we could start a whole circus.

Like a little zoo. Not a circus. I guess cows aren't part of that. But like a zoo. Yeah. A little sleep zoo. That'd be fun. If anyone out there sounds like a chicken or some piggies when you're sleeping, come on down. Chickens also aren't really in the zoo either, but. Oh, right.

Monkeys. Yeah. Oh, all right. Oh, that's what you sound like. Oh my God. I was just popping a wine bottle in my head all night.

You literally sound like you're manifesting. Wine would explain all the corks next to my bed. No, I'm just kidding. And all the empty wine bottles. But I do have this 19 Crimes. Blaze was cooking some dinner that required white wine. Oh, no. I know.

It was really tough to add to the grocery list. But so he got this 19 Crimes Martha's because, you know, Snoop does the red wine. So here's a Martha's Chardonnay. I love their duo. It's just the best. Their dynamic is so lovely. It's like there's a documentary or not documentary. I think it's a TV series where it's like called Unexpected Friendships or something.

It's like a Nat Geo series. Yeah, it's like ducklings and puppies and stuff. Yeah, it's like random animals that you wouldn't expect to get along. It's a cow and a bear sleeping in the pasture. It's Deirdre and Christine in the season finale. But no, I like to think of Snoop Dogg and Martha as

the narrators of that show. Anyway, so I'm popping my wine and that's why mom drinks. Our lovely friend Jess got me this glass, so I'm ready to go. I am sorry I took up so much time with my medical musings, but here we are. No, you're good.

Also, I will say another reason you drink, which I'll show you. Someone's getting a new home soon. Huh? Is that lemon? Oh, lemon isn't in there. It's the new case. His new home got here today.

Oh, it looks swanky, Em. I'm just saying. someone's about to move in bigger pastures greater pastures swanky look at him oh my gosh it's bigger so you can roll around in there and have a good time i love that for him and one thing all because you didn't ask me why i drink all right hey why do you drink um okay well i'll send you a picture because i uh okay i'm sending you the picture um because i treated myself to a lot of things on etsy for my birthday and one of them just came in today and it's this little fella oh my wait, is this a tea kettle with a lava lamp on it? Okay. What's happening? Okay.

It is a lava lamp, which I already own. I already own a few. So there's no need to have another, but here we are. I definitely bought you one once, I remember. Yeah, it's fine. And it was like your 15th one. And I'm okay with that. Once we hit a, it gets nerve-wracking, I think. Got it.

But this one, it's close. It looks like a tea kettle, actually. I hadn't picked up on that. But someone, this was on Etsy, and it was like a one-of-a-kind. And it is a, my favorite color version lava lamp, by the way, where it's the blue liquid and the green lava. It's my favorite. And it's made out of a 1960s cocktail mixer or something. Oh, I see. So it's like a shaker, but it has the spout and a handle.

Isn't that fun? I mean, I just saw it and I was like, I need to have it. Also, the handle isn't doing it justice, but usually glows this really pretty red. It's like a resin situation. So anyway, that's why I drink. That is something you would invent in your dreams. And then I saw it when I was slap happy and I was like, this feels good. And so I drink it a good way because it has shown up, but I drink in a bad way because I can't be at my home right now because there's no internet so i just know it exists i know it exists and i can't wait to finally crack into it much like this story we're gonna get into yay see that shameless seamless and yes

i let it i let segu i let go to make sure that the segue worked but then you just kept talking about the segue so now we need another one you know i feel like this is going to be a perfectly chaotic episode how are you feeling um here is my story and uh how do i want to start this well i'll start'll start it this way. This is a, I'm finally stepping away from the phantoms for a second because I know I've been saying I was on a ghost phase, have my little phase, a phantom phase. A phantom phase. We got there. We got there.

But now we're bringing it back to something Christine loves maybe a little more. Do you know what that is? Is it aliens? It's a widow alien. I've been on an alien binge listening to podcasts. So I am like in the headspace. Oh my God. Okay. Spooky ooky. Okay. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. So maybe that's the sound coming out of you. Maybe they're channeling you. No. Okay. That's also why it was so scary is because I've been like binge listening to these

like podcasts about alien abductions. And then I woke up and heard that noise. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Sounds like a like a beacon or something like they left something in your little belly. Like a homing beacon. Like I'm right here. Okay, so here is the story of the, I want to pronounce it right. I think it's Maringa Abduction. Okay. A.K.A. the Agripo Experiment. Oh. A.K.A. the Jardim Alvadora Affair.

I've never heard of this. Me either. And it was actually pretty hard to find. I think usually i use like i don't know a million sources uh per story but this one i think i only used four wow um so it was not easy to find i only found one podcast on it it was like it's i'm unsure why it's not mentioned a lot but um it also might i don't know yet but it might lead into a part two um not because this story is particularly long but i will explain later that at the at the same time this was

happening apparently another ufo story might have been going on and if i can find enough information on it i'll piggyback them and do the next one next week so uh this is the moringa abduction and this happened april 13th 1979 in moringa i really hope i'm saying that right it's a it's a city in brazil um and it the main characters today are 21 year old josose lido de matos and 13 year old roberto carlos okay so jose lino and roberto are brothers okay one's 21 one's 13 and so it's 1979 and it happens to be good friday so they are going to visit their sister and their sister lives in the suburb of how I think it's pronounced, Jardim Alvedura, which is why it's called the Jardim Alvedura Fair. Okay. So she lives in the suburb.

They're going to go visit her for Good Friday and they're going to go watch a Good Friday, I think, Christian program on TV. The Passion of the Christ? Just might be. I don't know. I don't know. That's what happened that day. Good to know. I would have just I would have probably put

something else on television. You know, as a small child, I was always like, why is this such a good Friday? Right? They nailed him to a cross today. What are we doing? I feel like if there's a good Friday, there ought to be a Bad Friday. But I guess Bad Friday is Friday the 13th. I feel like this is the Bad Friday, right?

Like, we nailed him to a cross. That's not pretty good in my mind, but whatever. Fair enough. And also some people would say Friday the 13th is lucky. And conveniently, this Good Friday was on a Friday the 13th. No. Silly, silly facts. I have them all.

Double trouble. So unfortunately, they, I guess, got sleepy or the program was like supposed to start at midnight or something. I don't understand if they didn't know like the TV schedule or like they planned on staying overnight and just left. I don't know what the deal is. But I saw from one source that the program was not going to really start until midnight or something like that so they headed out early and

they left around 11 30 at night which in my mind you were you only had a half an hour left to wait around you know you could have yeah but then you got to commit to the whole thing i know i know it's just like those people that like go to they go to a new year's party but then don't stay for the new but the midnight ringing in like what are you doing what are you doing you better bring the fun you know what i mean not the not the snoozing not the z's snooze fest so they're they decide to leave around 11 30 and while they're walking home uh roberto the younger one he points to a star in the sky and he mentions how weirdly bright the star is and i get to a point where he's

kind of freaking out about it and joselina says don't worry it's just a star no big deal but soon they realize that this light is following them oh shit and i mean we're going right into it right off the bat and by the way this is a fairly short story so every bit of it is pretty um yeah jam-packed with i'm already scared good that's what i want out of this he sounded a little too excited about that are at least once a week i always get to talk to you and i want you to just feel fear every time what do you think utter terror at your hands yeah Yeah, you know it. So all of a sudden they realize

that the star is following them. And they're calling it a star, but I think we all know what it is. As soon as the star begins to follow them and they're aware of it, Joselino's heart begins racing. Been there, Joselino. Go upside down.

Go upside down. Just lie on a bed you're gonna be fine staircases go go to my doctor he's he's in sherman oaks you're gonna have a good time you know just just a skip away from brazil yeah it's a suburb or something yeah and so uh his heart began racing and he had uh e chills throughout his entire body. And apparently these chills, he said, like, these were not good chills. Oh, no. Before they knew it, they were not in control of their bodies anymore. And it was like their mind could see what was happening, but their bodies were not theirs.

Oh, no. And their legs began walking toward an open field no and this is a quote from jose lino suddenly we started to walk and walk and walk it seems as if we were walking very slowly and then we were walking very fast we fought against it but couldn't we continued walking it seemed that it was impossible for us to think of anything else and the only objective was to reach the place where the star was oh my god forget about it forget about it so they walk into this field and they get to the closest part they can get to uh where they're where they're as close as possible to this star and it's a tree in the middle of this field and the star is like pretty darn next to them in this tree like not in the sky anymore like just kind of floating above them near them oh and so they get to this tree their bodies collapse

and the star is floating right next to them and before passing out jose leno in a dreamy slippery conscious state he hears the some voice in his mind say the job is not ended we will be back no no no no next thing they knew they wake up and time has passed. The worst of the worst experience, I think. They just wake up and they're incredibly groggy. Like, almost as if, like, what I imagined is, like, heavily, like, hungover or drugged up on something. Like, just stumbling and groggy and just kind of their bodies not totally working. I've heard people almost have, like, flu-like symptoms sometimes after an abduction. I don't know about that, but I would believe it.

Like body aches and that kind of thing? Yeah. I would, I don't, they didn't say anything that particular, but the way that it was described sounds a lot like a flu-like situation. Right. So they, because their body, they were just so groggy. Apparently they couldn't even like, they were so weak, they couldn't even get up. They had to help each other get up from the ground.

And then they had to hold each other while they like stumbled home. Oh no. So like their body is not 10 out of 10 right now. No. On their way home, they also were very dirty for no reason. Maybe the reason was that they were walking through a field or something, but they're apparently muddy. And they woke up feeling like hungrier than they ever had in their entire lives. Just like so insatiably hungry.

So the podcast, I've been listening to Astonishing Legends and they talk about Terry Lovelace's abduction and he is telling the story and he says when he woke up from his abduction, he was thirstier than he had ever experienced in his entire life. And it was like insatiable thirst. And I wonder if that's like, I don't know, because the missing time for us only feels like a couple hours, but for all we know, like in another world the missing time for us only feels like a couple hours but for all we know like in another world sure missing time oh interesting it's like maybe you were there for like five goddamn months and you never had an ounce of water i don't know and time just doesn't yeah that's an interesting thought too i don't know or maybe whatever is happening to you during

that abduction you're just so depleted of energy right or that yeah yeah yeah i don't know always fun to to wonder and only wonder i certainly only wonder i never hope i never want the answer i don't want to find out um so they are just like stumbling back uh their legs are their knees are super weak and they finally make it home and basically the second they get to the front door, they collapse. And they collapse onto the door and like break it open with their bodies because they just splat down. They can't even get in. Oh, wow. So their family helps them inside. And while Joselino and Roberto were being calmed down, they were trying to like tell their story.

And they look onto the field and the star is still there. What? No no go away the brothers point to it and start trying to explain what happened and once they start talking about it uh i guess the star heard them or something christine's worst nightmare that they can hear you no matter how far away you are and this is a quote from jose lino as they're trying to tell their parents what happened or their mom and their brothers what happened the object seemed to observe us from that distance and suddenly my brother and i received some kind of shock so strong that it hurled us to the ground my mother another brother and my sister were not

touched my mother told me later that when they touched me or roberto we felt electrified but we couldn't move a finger oh my god so they're still controlling you yeah so basically from a far distance they were able to hear them talking about what happened and essentially remote tased them like punish them for it yeah that's scary um and then if you if they like implanted something i don't know because they end up talking about this later and i don't hear any more about this like tasing feeling okay so i wonder if maybe this was just while that star was still like earthbound proximity yeah yeah like within a certain range of each other they could still witness each other

it was like a lifetime thing where you never knew if it was gonna zap you oh my god but talk about like keeping it quiet that's true that's true but i but yeah because it's interesting the only time that he had this experience was also the same time where he could still see the star in the field so maybe they could they both could recognize each other and that was that's interesting but then as soon as it flies away he's able to talk about it later so okay um but yeah so they basically got like shocked and into the ground so they wouldn't talk again uh and it flies away the star flies away never to be seen again and the brothers could move again as soon as the star flew away they

could just get back up and walk around and didn't have to recover any longer wow so i also wonder if like all of a sudden they could get up like i don't know if they were still really weak or anything but it's almost like while that thing was on earth it was almost maybe harnessing their energy to be there and then as soon as it was gone they could just like pop up and be fine disconnected yeah that's really interesting i hadn't thought of that so although the brothers tried to move on uh they knew that they didn't have the whole story of that night and there's some sources i, I think like two of them said that these brothers were eventually interviewed by the Center for Flying Saucer Research, which one, I would like to join it. And two, I couldn't find like I found like some excerpts of their conversation, but I don't know if that was directly with the Center for Flying.

No, that wasn't. It wasn't because, okay, you can help me solve this mystery. So I saw a few sources say that they were interviewed by this CFSR. But then they end up agreeing to later do like a hypnosis regression situation. Okay. And the excerpts I got were from that hypnosis session but i didn't see any sources that actually like gave files or reports or records on their interviews with maybe they're like research thing sealed maybe yeah i don't know but i was just like why would

you even announce that they got interviewed by them and then like i couldn't find anything show the interview yeah that's weird so anyway so anyway all we have are conversations from the hypnosis regression um and joselino decides to go through hypnosis and he does this with uh dr oswaldo alvez okay and while under hypnosis joselino begins to remember that night in the field and And he says, as we recall, they were all of a sudden out of control, their bodies walking into the field. They get to the tree and they pass out. And they were on the ground for only,

this is now while hypnotized, he's remembering they actually only were on the ground for a few minutes, or at least he was. And all of a sudden his body begins floating. Oh no. And his body heads towards this star or this object that had a door in the side of it. And in the doorway, or at the doorway, there were two men, and they were humanoid. They looked like just two white men in their 40s.

Apparently, they did not seem really seem really well definitely out of place because they were on a fucking ufo but like they didn't seem like anyone other than humans as they were described right one of them though grabs jose leno's arm and holds a foreign object against it for a moment and so i don't know if that was like scanning him into the building or something i i don't know but so he put something next to his arm for a moment and so i don't know if that was like scanning him into the building or something i i don't know but so he put something next to his arm for a second and then um the two men like make a make a gesture that implies like come inside with us whoa and i at this point i don't know for the rest of the story if like at least at this point i don't know if he walked in because he could or if he was still like out of his body and they were controlling

him right because if they're like come on in and he's like i don't have a choice like what's the point of gesturing but okay exactly or if they're like come on in like what do you do can you say no can you run right can you go actually can you put me down i really am not interested like actually can you set me back down like i'm late it's already midnight i was planning on going home to sleep but i had to watch the passion of the christ right at midnight i have somewhere to be also i i don't know if there's i just think it's ironic that this is happening on a friday the 13th because it feels spooky but also interesting that this happened on a good friday because i feel like i don't know i don't know what i think about it i just find it as a funny parallel it is an interesting uh coincidence yeah i don't i i'm like 99 sure it means nothing symbolically that

it landed on the stage just oh what are the odds well it's a weird yeah it is a weird coincidence i think i don't know just a silly fact i guess but um so they end up going inside and the two men lead joselino through many rooms uh through four different rooms and i don't know why they brought him to different rooms i don't know if they were like oh not this room let's go to the next one but uh it seemed like maybe he was getting like a little bit of a tour tour and so the first room he sees uh a bunch of machines and monitors kind of like a computer lab i guess in the second room he sees several motors but he mentions that the motors were weirdly silent when in use and they weren't hot to the touch when in use so it's a little bit like an advanced technology yeah i guess and the third room

jostolino sees a bunch of the best word he could come up with were like photographs on the walls and it seemed like the photographs had a bunch of scenes of nature so it felt almost like you just went to someone who likes landscape photography and just was looking at his wall that is so weird but the fourth room he sees medical equipment nope and they basically tell him to lie down so they can examine him which apparently they did and uh i don't know how this happened but they also got a sperm sample okay next they put what looks like a helmet on his head and uh once they put the helmet on his head i guess like it was something to read his mind or read signatures that were going on in his body chemical signatures i don't understand i don't totally understand but they put a helmet on his head and then the two men walk out and leave

him in the room and soon a humanoid woman walks in and she is described as six or sorry she's described as five six two five nine which apparently is 1.7 to 1.8 meters. Yeah. She had black hair that came to her shoulders, and she wore a black coverall. She had light brown skin. She had full, like, thick black eyebrows. She had black eyes. Okay. And other than that, she looked very similar to humans.

Interesting. Trigger warning, trigger warning interesting trigger warning trigger warning trigger warning for sa okay if you would like to skip ahead this is your moment i would say maybe two minutes ahead if you would like to do that for yourself okay and we'll we'll say like okay that section is over um so host leno's sitting there on the table this woman comes in and she begins touching him all over his body in a very i don't know if sensual is the right word sexual maybe sexual yeah it was apparently in a way that was meant to arouse him arouse him and if it wasn't uh aggressive and he never said anything about feeling like he was obligated but but like but he's already been dragged onto this ship against his will and he's already been good yes and it's this is such a tricky

such a tricky part because he was the way that he described it it felt like they're like he i don't know it felt very like a neutral experience by the way he was describing it but i'm going to just go ahead and say it's full-blown essay anyway because i'm imagining i'm assuming he never gave consent i'm assuming she wasn't like hey i know that we just put this helmet on your head without consent and also strapped you down without consent but can i do this also got already got a sperm sample before this happened true so like i don't understand well yeah wait okay i don't even know how the first sample got taken i don't care to know personally um and it wasn't in any if he didn't talk about it yep yep bada bing bada boom okay um yeah he was the way he described boom. Okay. Yeah, he was,

the way he described was very neutral, but then again, he was under hypnosis. It was a clinical space. Sure, sure. So I don't know totally what's going on

in his head, but these are just what happened. So she's touching him all over his body in a way that makes his body respond. Yeah.

And then he gets on top of her, but I also want to remind everybody that his body was not in his control a while ago, so I don't know if that's happening again. True. I don't know if he's in control of his body or not at this point. But he gets on top of her. They do what you can assume happens until he um, he has completed the task. If you know what I'm saying.

Um, she then pushes him off and wipes him down with a cloth. Um, and then telepathically says, quote, perhaps the seed will grow. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And there's, by the way, excerpts online, um, and pretty incredible detail. Uh, if you want to learn more about that, but it doesn't further along the story. So I'm just not going to bring it to anyone's attention just because I don't

know who's listening and this might've already been a lot for some people. Um, but there are excerpts online for people who are interested in knowing more about the, that event. Okay. So that's it. That's it. Trigger warning over everybody.

Okay, great. Um, so she doesn't give her name, but, uh, he does learn that they're apparently doctors and scientists studying humans. And they are part of a department called the Agripo Unit.

Okay. Which is why this is called the Agripo Experiment. Right. And I don't know what Agripo stands for or if it stands for anything or if that's a word in their world. But they're just doing research on humans. And I guess in a very direct involved way you could call it that yeah research yeah it's not just observing which yeah is what research is but okay yeah um and then this is a quote from jose leno

they told me they were for peace and that their objective was to study to understand the earth they spoke to me about life the fights and the wars she said the life on earth was a life of neuroses of conflicts wars hunger and nobody is concerned for the upcoming effects she said it was our selfishness that provoked the wars hunger and death she said that they are our friends and they would like to cultivate a friendship with us and they are judging us i really think they were for peace that they were peaceful people and friends wow which again makes what i said earlier a little tricky because he seems to like he's like i think they're friends and i know they were great we got a long great it's also that i don't it's i don't i don't totally understand it but if you would like to

read the excerpts for yourself go for it sure um so jose lino then asks them where they came from and they respond much beyond the stars wow which is i would be like that's too vague for me yeah what the hell does that mean much beyond so one uh source that i read claims that uh the beings said to him that they were from a planet called tortum which is uh in the sado system of andromeda so that's sure sure sure so i feel like that really did happen where someone said much beyond the stars and then he went please clarify yeah they were like it's a very specific and he's like okay we're from tordom we're from if you must know so after this the men come back into the room and they say we think it's time to leave you good yeah so they walk joseelino back to the door. And as he left, he felt unable to move again.

Oh. And this was kind of a weird, I think I was reading it right. But it sounds like he almost like jumped out of the star. But I don't, again, I don't know if it was his body that he's in control of or if that was something that they caused him to do but i guess the two men that were escorting him all all of a sudden started to float and they floated down to be able to catch him like as if this was part of the plan like oh you jump out and we're going to grab you and then we're going to have you float down the rest of the way yeah and so the so they he jumps

out they catch him they bring him back to the part of the ground where he had collapsed next to his brother and that's when he wakes up which is interesting because they're saying it's time to leave you they're having a pretty i would say closed door experience like he's definitely like don't have to worry about them still being around but if you recall as he was either passing out or waking up at the beginning he heard the phrase the job has not ended oh yeah so i don't know if that meant it's time to leave you right now but we will be back for additional research or i don't know and then that would can you imagine the paranoia for the rest of your life like i can't that's just and that happens to a lot of people who experience

this because it's like a it's often a repeat process and like throughout your whole childhood and then into adulthood it's like every couple years you get a visit oh yeah And you can just, you never know if you're safe. Um, so anyway, he wakes up and, uh, then, you know, he barrel barrels onto his mom's house and then they see the thing in the sky. And when they're talking about it, they get shocked. Um, so keep in mind, this all happened. The whole story I just told you just happened to Jose Lino and he didn't know the whole time where his brother was. But one source did say that through hypnosis you end up finding out that the brother was also on the ship and I really hope he didn't have the same experience especially because Roberto was 13. So we don't know Roberto's

side to this but he was allegedly also on board maybe in a different room hopefully he just stayed in the room with like the landscape pictures or something let's just keep it at that um interestingly this same night uh even though they were the two that ended up on board and they didn't see anyone beyond these three beings um there were other people on earth who in the in the in the suburb or at least in the city that all claim to have seen a UFO and some people even got pictures of it. So that's it's interesting that there are corroborating reports on that. That's nice validation probably for them. I would

I it would make me so happy to be like okay at least i don't feel totally alone yeah um and also the brother was uh well i already said this the brothers were said to be interviewed by the center for flying saucer research um and one source said that jose leno and roberto's mother was actually also a ufo abductee when she was a child okay that's the other thing i'm learning is that oftentimes it runs in families yeah so um so now you have siblings and the mother which also freaks me out because if i heard we'll be back it's like you're gonna be back even for my like goddamn kid because like this is like a long your kid's already on that ship oh yeah yeah well like think about like the longitudinal study of like

like experiencing or abducting one person then they have a kid and then you have children yeah that's so scary yeah so scary so jose lino and roberto understandably stepped away from the public with this case and like never talked about it one i can't imagine the press like keeping you from trying to get back to a normal life yeah to the shame of people not believing you and getting gassed all the time yep uh three not wanting to talk about your sexual assault history right um yeah and also like hello number four they got shocked the last time they talked about it so why would you even want to risk that good point yeah but i guess they talked about during hypnosis and it was fine but i don't i don't know um how else how often they talked about it elsewhere uh but they did end up the case got mentioned in a few books. So there are books on this. And I guess fun fact that I have is this event happened either on or very closely near at the same time as a separate UFO event called the Mirasol Contact, which is hopefully what I'll be covering next week.

Okay, so I see the double parter here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if there's enough info on it, I will be covering that next week okay so i see the double the double parter here yeah yeah so if there's enough info on it i will be covering that next week but um that is the story of the moringa abduction slash the agripo experiment slash the jordim alvedora affair you have no idea how timely that was because i've spent probably the last 48 hours just constantly thinking about aliens oh it's well it sounds like that was pretty perfect timing. And I'm sorry for, I, I feel like I really, um, didn't know how to handle the trigger warning situation just because I never, I never have to give them. That's right. So. Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's smart to give them when they happen in your story,

because I think a lot of times no one's expecting it yeah like I don't do them because it's one of those things where the stories just would need 400 each yeah and it would get out of hand also then it's comparing it's like well which stories are worth the trigger warning which exactly becomes really weird but yeah I think usually people are expecting like a silly ghost story with mine yeah yeah, yeah. No, I think that was really smart to do. Anyway. I think that was really smart. Sorry if I really hope I wasn't offending anyone there. I think you did a good job with it.

I think you handled it perfectly. Okay, cool. Well, thank you. So there's that. And hopefully next week I come back with another spooky story or spooky UFO story. I gotta say, this stuff is fascinating to me. Do you know if the brothers like stayed close? Because one thing I keep hearing is that when people experience this together, a lot of

times they end up going separate ways. They lose their relationship, oftentimes never want to speak again. I don't know about the two of them, but I have heard that too. But I think that's kind of common with a lot of really intense trauma. Trauma in general. It's like, I can't look at you without feeling, without remembering that. I don't want to remember. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it might be hand in hand with that. So that is so crazy. Thank you, Em, for telling them that was fascinating and terrifying also.

Well, thank you. I, uh, it was nice to find something that didn't have too many sources because I was like oh maybe that means like a lot of people aren't covering it yeah I mean I've never I mean not that I know that many but I've never heard of it so I feel like I heard about it before honestly I think because I went I went to check our episode list to see if I'd covered it because I was like I know I've heard this before but then I started reading the notes and I was like I think I got scared away from the essay aspect last time. So that's why I haven't covered it. Which is like not that uncommon in these abduction stories either.

I know. So it's amazing how many UFO cases I have covered, though, that don't involve the stereotypical probing situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I felt like I was on a good run there. And then all of a sudden it got to an uncomfy place in this story and i was like oh well anyway so i i i hope you know for someone who's on an alien kick right now i hope that got you extra you really did and i feel like i'm gonna have to record my sleep tonight and see if i make any more of those homing noises homing pigeon noises that's i think, what people should start doing

if they're feeling being, like they're being watched. Just does your belly rumble in a weird way at night? Just. I wish it were my belly. That's the thing is like it was right by my head.

So I really don't think it was. I think it came out of my mouth. I'm like, I wish it were my intestines. That would explain. It felt like a, like when the frog throat does the. Yes. Yes. Maybe your throat has a weird bar trick oh that'd be fun i wish i could do that like i'll practice well you'll practice when you're sleeping that's for sure apparently i've been practicing okay okay so speaking of being like uh scared away from stories i have a confession which is that

i've been trying to get the guts to cover the girl scout murders for weeks now and i was gonna do it today and then i ran out of time to like really go back through that like the notes are all done so the notes are there and it's a two-parter and I just haven't been in the right headspace to do it and um what's I I don't know anything about it except that you are hesitant about doing it so it's got to be rough it's really it's really rough and like I know morbid has covered it a lot of podcasts have covered it um and done a good job on it as far as I know. But I kind of have probably either blacked those out or not listened to those episodes. So I don't even know. But the notes that I have are really rough.

It's a two-parter. And I would like to cover it because I think it's a story that deserves to be covered. But I just have not been in the right headspace. And I don't think it's fair to put that on the listeners when i'm not in the right headspace so i'm gonna wait to do that i was gonna do it today then i chickened out and i think i might do it uh our next episode so i want to warn you this is the first time that we will know each other's stories beforehand no because oh both of us yeah that's true because the one time i've done this is for uh that episode was it 18 it was um it was sylvia

lichens sylvia lichens it was so long ago but i remember saying a similar sentiment of like i'm too scared to cover it and people were like go for it because it was the darkest story i think one of the darkest stories i think that one and israel keys are the only ones you've told me in advance you were like this is like fucking brutal yeah yeah and uh sylvia likens was the first kind of child related one and so i think um that was one i told you in advance but yeah you're right if we both do these next week what's the first time we're really like in the know both of our cases? We're giving people a little spoiler this week. That's fun. So I plan to do it next week when I have a few more days to just really process it and go through it again and make sure the notes are good.

So that is a warning to you all, but I will bring that up. If I cover it next week, I'll bring that up then. But so instead, I panicked and I just pulled out notes. But instead, I panicked should be a, I don't know, a tattoo at this point. I'm going to tattoo it right here on my chest. But instead, comma. You know, you know that saying like she, she said she, what is it? Like she said she could.

So she did or something. Right, right. She said she could, but she didn't and panicked instead but instead comma she panicked oh my gosh that's like my that's like the mantra of the hersene shifter you know what it really is i that was what the sce always said they heard growling and browning there there in her throat. In her tummy and her throat. It's the weirdest thing.

Yeah, I remember there was one thing I saved on Pinterest like 15 years ago. And it was like, don't limit. Don't just panic at the disco. Panic everywhere. Panic at the grocery store. Panic in bed at night. I'm like, oh, that speaks to my soul. Okay, so a weird trail of panic at the grocery store. Panic in bed at night. I'm like, oh, that speaks to my soul. Okay, so a weird trail of panic at the disco. I thought disco ball.

I thought my gay bathroom. Your big gay bathroom, yeah. I've been waiting for you to bring that up on the show. Have I not announced my gay bathroom on the show? No, you told me about it. That's not true. I thought I said it on my birthday episode where I was like, oh, these are the things I'm doing for my birthday. It's like buying myself a bunch of stuff.

Okay, maybe you did. Maybe you did. I think maybe I was talking about the troll hole. You were definitely talking about the troll hole. There are so many things I'm just like. There's a lot of weird nooks and crannies of your apartment. Bam, bam, bam. Call me Bobby or something, whoever from Queer Eye. Just design, design, design. No, in case I haven't announced it that I'm building a gay bathroom. Um,

and it's going very well. A disco ball is involved, which is why I, um, that's what I thought of, but I panic in the gay bathroom, panic in the gay bathroom. Wait a minute. Someone make that a shirt. Um, so my, my goal is I want it to look like a trashy, like, I don't know, like campy bathroom that people want to like, only gay people want to make out in. Love it. You know what I mean? I don't, I'm not going to allow anyone who's not queer to make out in there. But if you're queer and you need a place to make out, I will escort you to my personal bathroom. And it's going to look very good.

It's on its way. A lot of things got delivered while I was gone and slowly coming together, folks. I'm very excited to show it to you. Lava lamps. Lava lamp is not a part of it. That was just a bonus for me. Love that. I mean, I figured the cocktail maker lava lamp wasn't, but I wondered if any of the other lava lamps were part of it. Actually, you know what? I literally was on, I was online last night looking for little, little bathroom lava lamps. Yeah, you were. So probably.

Oh my gosh, I bet they have the nightlight ones. That's what I was looking for. Like a Glade plugin, but it's actually a lava lamp. That's what I was looking for. But I will say one of my, so I will say some of the things have been delivered, including a hand towel set that is theirs and hers. Beautiful.

Right? Embroidered, obviously. Obviously. Theirs and hers. And then a towel came in today that is rubber duckies in BDSM leather. You told me about that. I'm very excited about it. I don't know if you've mentioned that on the show, but you definitely talked about that to me want it to be, I want it to be camp. I want it to be drag. I want it to be fabulous. So I'm so excited for this bathroom. Um, and I think I'm going to LA in July. Well,

I know I'm trying to get it all done before you get here. Okay. Don't rush. Don't pressure yourself. Cause I'll be back again in August, but, uh, I'm very excited. Very excited. Good to know. And maybe when you're here, by the way, since I'm at the unnecessary drink apartment, can you get rid of all your fucking breast milk? Because it's like just stacks, just mountains of booby milk in the fridge right now. I'm glad it's still there and I will take it with me.

Would your baby be able to eat it anymore? Oh, okay. Well, hey, that works out. I thought it was going to have to get trash all over. I was so afraid you threw it away and I was going to feel really sad. I am not ever going to be responsible for what you do with your boobs, whether it is currently in your boobs or now out of your boobs. I know, but you have sometimes the smarter instinct when it comes to my belongings that

need to be thrown away. Not necessarily this, but like there are times where- Talk about a belonging. It's the one belonging of yours. I think I have no say in. Okay. I appreciate that. It's just hanging out here. Me and all your breast milk are just having a good time waiting for my internet to kick in. You probably would have like the wrath of all the breast milk producing and that's why we drink listeners on your hands if you did throw it away. I would not.

That is probably liquid gold as far as I'm concerned. That's right. That's right. And you made it. I sure did. Art as far as I'm concerned. Talk about arts and crafts, you know? Yeah.

You just made liquid gold. That's no ordinary paper mache situation. Thank you. It's no ordinary feat. I made xenon and I made fucking breast milk. And what else do you want from me, world? W-O-M-A-N. That's what I got to say.

Find me in the gay bathroom, okay? Thank you. If you're in there with a queer person, you are more than welcome in that gay bathroom as long as you need it. Okay. Can I ask to, what was I going to say? Oh, I was probably just going to ask to go in your gay bathroom as long as you need it okay um can i ask to what was i gonna say oh i was probably just gonna ask to go in your gay bathroom that's probably all i was gonna ask honestly i'm a queer person we can go in there we don't have to make out but we can definitely stand there together

whoa yeah you know what yeah your bathroom your rules but i'm just saying i'm not saying i want to i'm just saying i don't want to be rejected in my own gay bathroom you know I would never I would never yeah um I'll probably be too busy pulling my breast milk out of your freezer so that would you know what bring the breast milk let's see how crazy we get in this put it in the lava lamp see what happens let's put it in one of those um uh like the like the beer bottles meant for babies and then have leona get fucked up in the gay bathroom okay that's how we're gonna solve this even rachel sent her a onesie that says um my first pride and she's been wearing that the

last couple days and seen it is and of course i put her in her jean shorts the combo no i know i know i know no i know um i don't think you know though because what i'm gonna say is that i literally just bought leona a one it's the same one i already know which one it is it's one from target oh no well she's got two wait what size is that one probably not big enough well i don't know but i did get her something else that's a bigger size so too. Wait, what size is that one? Probably not big enough. I don't know, but I did get her something else that's a bigger size, so I don't know if it's a pride one. Sorry, Eva beat you to it.

Damn it, Eva. That's okay. I'm sorry. Your baby can have more than one pride thing. That's fine. No, the limit is one in this household. I'm just kidding. I'll keep it here so she has a costume change in the gay bathroom. Honestly, that can be her gay bathroom outfit. I know what it can be.

I know it can be. Don't you worry. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Wow. We really derailed. Tell me about this really tragic story you're going to go into. So this is what I did. Instead, comma, I panicked.

Oh, right. That's where we were. Right. What I did was I found old notes that I've never covered on the show and I did not have time to read them so we're just I'm so you know I don't think you understand the parallels that are happening here because I literally almost when my internet went out yesterday and I was like I don't know what to do I thought I'm just going to use old notes and I was like wouldn't it be funny if I just went into it and didn't read the

notes? So like, I literally almost said that today. I like that you thought that and then said, but no, I'm a professional. And I said, well, wouldn't it be funny? That was my backup plan. If for some reason the, and that's why I drink a permit also didn't have internet, but I was, I was going to be fucked. So I'd be like, well, well, that's what I did. And, um, you know, I just roll with the punches. Um, I'm known for being, um, what's the right word? Uh, what are you going to say? Spontaneous to a detriment, uh, to a detrimental degree. And so I'm just going to wink, wing it. And, um, we're going to read these notes together. and we're going to read these notes together. That sounds great. And I do really, it sounds great. And also your description of yourself, absolutely exactly on par.

Oh, I'm so glad you agree. Because sometimes people are like, no, you're wrong about yourself. And they're usually right. It's one of my favorite things about you. It's such a weird, because half the time, it really is two personalities. half the time i don't i don't think i could pull you out of your house but the other half the time so goddamn spontaneous it's to a detriment i will steal a boat in the right context you know what i mean in the right and you got to be in the right headspace and honestly that's i only want to be around you during that headspace because sometimes you're like let's just like stay at home and eat

some cheese and play a board game. And I'm like, we got to steal this boat though. I will say like 90% of the time I'm that. And then 10% of the time I'm like, well. When you choose to thrive, you fucking deliver. I haven't nailed anything to the wall in a few days. We could do that. I could paint a room half, half as ardly and just cover some of the walls for fun.

That's fine. It's fine. And I'm here for the ride the entire time yeah so i guess it does give gemini like the exact representation it deserves um so that's what we're gonna do this is the story of bell siddons aka madam vestal comma notorious southern bell of the old west oh hold on so since you said old west i'm trying to think of where you would have done this is it texas no it's st louis again which is literally the last story i covered from our book when i pulled the same fucking excuse of not having internet because my power went out that's so weird what is going going on? Is Mercury in retrograde? It's still Gemini season. Maybe things are just working out for us. I think it's Gemini season.

Mercury was retrograde for a while there. I think I'm also just, you know, my iron is low. I'm going to use that as an excuse for now. That'll be it. That's totally fine. So again, a perk of my memory being as strong as like a goldfish um i have never heard this story as far as i know hey me neither all right cool let's let's get into it as if it's a brand new piece of information to both super okay so the first

bullet i have here is a quote from a radio show from the 1950s called The Frontier Gentlemen. And this is a quote about Belsons. It is a never-ending source of amazement to me what a woman will do for or to a man. Okay, put that on the shirt also. I like that on a shirt. Except don't, because I feel like it's sort of like oh it's never it it'll always amaze me what women will do for men like ew i don't want that on a shirt i don't know wait hold on read the quote again then it's a never-ending source of amazement to me what a woman will do for or to a man oh i thought both of them it was to a man yeah i guess

that's a little more badassery is more badass but for a man i'm like yeah on his behalf is kind of ick i would like the second half or whatever get out just edit that little part out i don't want that and then and then write the frontier gentleman just write a new sentence but make it really good that's what i want instead make it say instead comma i panicked okay got it okay why what is happening with me today i feel like i'm just like spiraling for no reason i'm like on my third glass of wine i haven't had anything to eat in a few hours so i think i'm not helping the cause is what i'll say okay okay so bell siddons she was born in jefferson city missouri sometime in the 1830s and was born on a plantation her parents were wealthy land over

owners from st louis and her uncle was actually missouri governor at the time uh his clay his name was clayborne fox jackson whoa so bell attended and graduated from the Missouri, get this, the Missouri Female Seminary, I almost said cemetery again, which I did last week, seminary, at Lexington, Missouri. And she spent a lot of her young life traveling with her uncle and meeting with people in the elite circles of Southern society, basically learning etiquette and how to be charming, how to come across as a Southern girl. You can't teach charm, baby. Some of you just got to be born with it. I know all about that. I don't need that school. I got it built in.

Charm school. I think that'll be my hyper fixation of the night to learn all about the ins and outs of a charm school. I i had something like that um growing up well i did do cotillion i hated it i hated cotillion too uh but i also at school um we had this woman named miss manners and she would come in every couple months and we'd have to take these like courses with her on like how to be a lady. And the earliest one I remember was second grade. And I'm like, ew. Wait a minute. Did you say her name was Miss Manners?

Her name was literally Miss Manners. I've looked her up and she has like books that she's written. Like she's teaching you about manners and her name is Miss Manners. Yeah, but I think she like, that's either a pseudonym or she's changed her name or something but it sounds like like the like a like a stepford wife mascot like yeah like no that's like what she was she like taught us what to do with like our silver and i'm like what the fuck so what are you talking about i feel like if you were teaching children like you said second grade i feel like there should have been like a kitty cat and like some like i don't know no there was just a housewife dress and she's known as miss manners and she teaches you how to like i don't know be a stereotype scary lady and she was like this is

how you polish your silver and i'm like i eat my cereal out of a winnie the pooh bowl i don't need you to tell me how to use silver but i think a lot of that has stuck in my mind about like like i still know where the forks go and all that business and i what a waste of my memory and my brain space you know uh yeah i hmm i'm not saying recently private catholic school that's for sure i was somewhere recently where i just become friends with it was weird because i was talking to a group of people that i'm not actually that close with. We were all like new and it was like our first time hanging out. Where the fuck was it? But at some point we were all like, where do we stand on manners? Like how are we, how are we navigating the rest of this hangout? Like, cause I think food had gotten

there and it was like, are we, are we doing like the civil war thing or am I allowed to feel free to just like get really disgusting in front of everyone so i don't remember where i was but i remember really appreciating that someone asked that and then all of us were like manners are not at this table certainly so for the dog manners are for miss manners only yeah i've anyway sorry miss manners her head probably exploded when i when she overheard that somewhere in the in the world oh i'm sure it did if she were near our table when that happened she would have been like what I swear she was like 95 when she did this for me in second grade so I don't know where she is now but uh I did also I did have to

take these kind of um etiquette classes at school and again my parents were paying for this like private school it's just such a waste such a waste i think it ended at cotillion for me and that was enough disturbing terrible i know how to foxtrot though folks oh i sure don't well then you weren't paying attention to cotillion do you think i was paying attention did you ever think i was paying attention no and by by knowing how to foxtrot i mean i know how to let a boy lead me in the foxtrot. Big yikes. So if we did it together, we'd both be like, what the fuck?

You'd have to be the boy. I don't even know how to. I guess I could learn to be the boy because I don't know how to be the girl in it either. Okay. You can do the fox. What? Nothing. okay you can do the fox what nothing let's just move on because uh i was drinking water and also the joke did not land and said a joke and then swung the water bottle back and i was like what'd you say it just was such bad timing but also i kind of knew what i was doing so i'm sorry that's okay

just know that i made it really it really, it was so stupid. Like not even fun. No one would have had fun. I had fun. This is so stupid because we still have to record the after episode. It's going to be a long day. Okay. Sorry.

So there's Miss Manners. Or wait, no, there's not. Someone else is at charm school. That's where we left off. Bullet free. She's at charm school. Belle is at charm school that's where we left off she's at charm school bell is at charm school and she's learning how to do proper etiquette how to be charming and apparently her debutante ball was the talk of the town but then the civil war broke out at this point bell was in her 20s. Missouri residents were divided between supporting the North and the South.

But of course, Belle and her family were Southern sympathizers who actively sought to, quote, crush the union's agenda. Wow. Great. Great. So Belle did what any young woman would do in her situation. She, get this, became a spy for the confederacy well the spy the first half of that sentence is also very fun yeah yeah yeah and then it quickly becomes not fun but it's like she's a spy that i hope was bad at her job and and was involved in the confederacy losing yeah i know it's sort of like oh it would have been cool the other way around but okay yeah yeah well we can't we can't win them all.

Nope. So she began spending all her time with Union soldiers who were training in the area. She would go to dinners, dance halls and even the opera with these soldiers. Many of the men became enamored with her and wanted to impress her. So they started to share classified information about military plans and the position of soldiers with her, which she would then directly pass on to the Confederacy. Men are so dumb. Well, and that's why that quote annoys me at the top. It's astounding what women will do for a man.

And it's astounding. I get it now. I get it. No, but I feel like it's astounding the other way around what men will do for a woman. Oh, 100%. You're totally right. They're giving up wartime secrets to take her to the opera?

Yeah. I don't know what this has to do. Whatever. Anyway, I thought the quote was like flipped upside down. You know what it should be then? We get a shirt with that quote, and then we put an X through woman and put men. It's astounding what men would do. Well, you just change it for them.

Okay. And then everyone's like, what does that shirt like just well you just change it for them okay and then everyone's like what does that shirt mean and we're like we have no idea and then we go men are silly that's it can't the shirt just say men are silly oh yeah yeah let's do that it's just easier that just gets a point across can we just get let's have a shirt just say like men are silly geese like just have like a bunch of geese with like and then just have and then write men and like point an arrow we could recycle the goose cam shirt and just oh the silly it would be a silly goose cam oh it'd have to be a silly goose cam totally different thing okay so take say take goose cam Get the camera away from him. Take it away.

He has a name tag on. It says, hello, my name is Silly. And then you just write men somewhere on the shirt and point an arrow at the Silly Goose. And that's so good. I know what it is. It's honestly genius. TM, TM, TM, TM, TM. Yeah, everyone wants to steal it.

Eva, get the merch company on the horn, who they happen to all be men, but they'll get it. It's fine. merch company on the horn who they happen to all be men but they'll get it it's fine get on the horn honk honk okay okay so she's getting these secrets from the opera okay from these people at the opera and in 1862 she was found out by general newton curtis from new york and an arrest warrant was issued. One of her admirers had tipped her off, so she tried to escape, but she was caught trying to flee the area. So first she claimed innocence and said she had done nothing wrong. And then they opened up her little bag and inside they found detailed plans of the stops on the railroad line that was being

used by the Union Army to transport supplies and weapons. So she had like full time military intel in her bag. Smoking gun. Smoking gun. And that's when she changed her tune and began to brag about her role in helping the South win the Civil War. She then accused the North of making a war on women which i'm like wrong angle but okay uh and then she dramatically challenged them to shoot her like a common spy oh my god wow they did not yeah she's a lot of things and bold is one of them bold is one of them. Bold is most of them, I think. Instead, she was tried for her crime, found guilty and sentenced to a year at the Grand Street Rebel Prison.

Can't believe that's what it was called. But she proposed a deal which the authorities accepted. And the deal was that she would be released after four months but would be banned from Missouri until the war was over and would only be allowed to do hospital work until that time okay so she kept that promise and left the state to work as a wartime nurse when the war ended bell returned to jefferson city missouri to work as a lobbyist for politicians during which she became notorious for her ability to subtly influence certain members of the legislature. There's this newspaper article that I found from 1881 that describes her time working in Jefferson City as full of, quote, scandalous stories, wine suppers, and mysterious excursions to St. Louis. Oh.

I love her. I really, I don't want to love her but you know there are parts of her i'm really admire i'm not admired but um i do want to keep watching the show you know yeah it's sort of yeah it's like a train wreck uh yeah i don't i definitely don't love most parts of her but just some of the like descriptions of her i'm like damn sounds like a fun time it's a firecracker yes a dynamo let's call her that dynamo real dynamo yeah so suddenly she seemed to vanish in thin air she had fallen in love with a man named newt hallett of kansas city who was described in the uh article i just mentioned as a young sport oh the two of them moved to texas together and because he was a gambling man he taught her how to play cards and lo and behold we're not shocked

she was very good she was naturally very good at playing cards uh and she worked as a dealer of blackjack or as they then called it, 21. And I can see that because she learned how to be all charming and manipulative. And she was probably just good at being the host of that kind of thing. Yeah. So unfortunately, a couple years later, Newt died of yellow fever. And Belle was now forced to support herself. So she moved to Wichita, Kansas, changed her name to Madam Vestal and she opened up her own gambling hall. Because of her background, she was able to set up her gambling hall

with luxurious style and refinement. And considering she herself was also beautiful and alluring, she became this kind of like legend in the area she typically wore red or black velvet ornamented with gaudy jewelry mostly diamonds and rubies she had this like luxurious black hair that she like tossed over her shoulders and she would wear these gold and diamond clasps in her hair and she said this uh costume she wore this like outfit and she said that it excites curiosity and draws in suckers so i you know she's inspiring a lot of

her valuers but she does know how to con a man that's what i'm saying right i can respect that part that's i can peel apart her personality and like in like that one spot that part i'm like okay okay i see you yeah she was soon running gambling enterprises in several cities when she heard of a gold strike in the black hills of south dakota so she straight up moved to deadwood south dakota and set up shop there with her own combination bar, dance hall, and gambling establishment. Wait a minute. Deadwood. I've covered a haunted place in Deadwood. Deadwood. I feel like I know Deadwood too. I don't. It was years ago that I covered it, but I remember thinking like, what a perfect name for a city that has a haunted house. It's a great

name. Deadwood. Anyway, keep going. So she's, she's just like already gonna be like a girl bossing her way through girl boss exactly she moves to deadwood and she sets up shop with her own combination bar dance hall gambling establishment she changed her name again this time to lurleen i feel like she could have workshopped that a little bit l--U-R-L-I-N-E. Of all the names? Of all the names. Of all the names. Of all the names. Not like Anne, like.

Lurline. All right. Yeah. Lurline Monteverde. You know, the reason I say something like not Anne, I would imagine she wanted to like keep low in some way and like have like a name that was hard to not even a little bit she really went for like I'm just picking so many crazy sounds she was like I need a name that matches my diamond barrettes

yeah like she's gonna be able to get spotted real quick with a name like that I feel like that's not what she should have been doing no she wanted to be all right she wanted to be a star and she was uh in the local newspaper she was actually described as a quote flawlessly groomed beauty inviting sultry and sensuous and then there was another article that called her a quote strange woman oh well that might have been us i think so so far i'm like she is uh a silly another silly one a silly goose uh yeah that's again that's why we drink newsletter if you sign up for that we might call her a strange woman she definitely is i mean she's she's strange for picking a name like that she She's different. No, like no hate to anyone out there named like Lurleen. But like, I feel like if you're thinking of names to like reinvent yourself, that's like,

I wouldn't even, it's like not even, you have to have, you have to have known someone, I feel like for a name like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I feel like you just, what? Known someone like with that name or known? I feel like you have to know a Lurleen to even Like, I feel like you just. What? Known someone like with that name or no. Like, I feel like you have to know a learned lean to even like, it's like have that name. Concoct that name.

In your mind. I almost feel like it was like a Arlene mixed with Lucy. Like she couldn't pick a name and was like, what about Lurley? Oh, I like that. That's pretty cool. Okay. I'll take it. I don't know.

I mean, I have no idea, but. It's just so, it's just like, there's got to be a story there because it's so obscure i know i wish i wish there were more explanation on that because i i do wonder uh where that came from and if your name is lurleen please let us know i'm very curious like the origin of that yeah i would love to know i feel like that's not a name that like you don't come up with that name unless you have a reason for that it's not like in a baby name book i imagine so it probably has some sort of meaning i would think like maybe like someone wanted lorraine oh i don't know yeah i don't know yeah yeah yeah that's pretty similar too um so i'm curious yeah if anybody has that name let me know um so despite naming herself lurleen at this point she decided to basically

throw her entire past away and she refused to talk about where she came from or what her background was and this honestly made her even more alluring and mysterious because you couldn't just look somebody up on facebook at this point like she just seemed even more mysterious she just blew into town as lurleen and nobody knew who she was i feel like a lurleen only blows into town she doesn't just like walk on in there if your name is lurleen let us know did you just blow into town because like tell us which town you are currently blowing into blowing into and blowing out of i i need to know um and lest we forget obviously these were the days of the old west so she was friends with all sorts of old-timey outlaws including wild bill hickok and john wesley harden who um i

covered in dallas and i covered on the podcast he john wesley harden i think he was the one uh the man i think i even wrote about him in the book actually let me make sure i got the name right um i think he was the one who uh killed a man who snored too loud that was like you're just getting it mixed up oh wait yeah that's why you got to make that horrible honking sound no i don't i don't remember you talking about okay yeah he shot a man for snoring the man so mean he shot a man for snoring that was like his thing it was like a few months ago i think i covered him on the podcast um anyway so one day a handsome so she was friends with these guys one day a handsome stage coach robber named archie mclaughlin uh strolled in to her little gambling operation while she was dealing 21 or blackjack and they apparently fell in love

instantly oh okay and bell i guess fell into some old habits she began using her talents as a spy to get information from stagecoach drivers who came to her gambling tables she would listen to men as they talked about their roots and what they'd be carrying in their stagecoaches and then she would tell archie who would then intercept the stage coaches as the outlaw and then she would get a cut of the profits so they're doing a little maybe like a bonnie and clyde situation like a little tag team and i think it's fascinating i think it's absolutely fascinating for a woman of that time to be so like, I mean, obviously criminally, but like business oriented. Anytime there is like a law-breaking duo.

Yeah. I wonder like how they finally opened up and told each other, like, I think we should both commit crime together. Like, I'm still trying to figure out how to say that to you. No, yeah. Or I wonder. To me? Or I wonder if it's like a gradual thing where it's like, oh, I heard that they're doing this. Oh, hey, I stopped them and stole some money. Thanks for letting me know. Here's a couple cents. Here's a couple bucks. And like,

I wonder if it just kind of builds. Yeah, I don't know what it is. But I've always been curious, like, how do you get into that topic with someone and then you both kind of like, look at each other? Like, are you? You're like, I'm just kidding. Unless. And you both kind of like look at each other like, are you? You're like, I'm just kidding. Unless. Wouldn't it be just so funny if we robbed a bank? Yeah.

No, unless. So, yeah. So basically that's what they did. She would be the kind of like little spy. And I mean, part of me as a woman finds that very vindicating because it's like, oh, the woman who runs this entire business. that very vindicating because it's like oh the woman who runs this entire business the men will just freely talk in front of you about all their business stuff and think like oh you would never understand or pay attention or silly dumb little woman you dumb little woman and like i'm not saying all of them were like that but i'm saying like it's kind of weirdly vindicating that like she used her powers of like going to charm school to you know take advantage of people it sounds

honestly she's a success story for charm school for they probably erased her off the board of alumni but they should have named a charm school after her they should have named the place after like look what she accomplished with the pizzazz and moxie we gave her look at this moxie i she should change her name to moxie, but whatever. What do I know? So she would give this information. He would stall and rob the stagecoaches, and then she would get a cut of the profits. And she actually told Archie, when we get enough, we'll leave here.

And who knows? I might even marry you. Oh. Oh. Okay. This is a TV show. Oh. Oh. Okay. This is a TV show. Somebody call me. Let's write this.

This is fun. And especially like as a Western, as an old Western. Are you kidding me? You know I love a cowboy. Come on. Let's do it. They're going to ride off into the sunset. Oh, let's do it.

Unfortunately, here's where the story turns. One night she got careless and she let it slip that there was a robbery planned. And when word got back to the sheriff, they, of course, waited and they thwarted the robbery. And they caught Bell's love, Archie, in the act of murdering or not murdering, I guess, stealing from the stagecoach. And they caught one of his men as well. And on their way to stand trial in Deadwood, they were captured by an outlaw named Boone May and his vigilantes. And unfortunately, they hanged them from a tree. Oh.

So it got dark really fast. Sorry. That was like all in one breath. I didn't expect it. It was one bullet. Whoa. And as you know, I'm learning this with you. So I'm improv-ing. you also didn't see that coming not not even a tiny bit you're trying to pretend like you're not shocked but i feel like in your head you went oh my god they got oh they got hanged oh shit oh shit yep uh they caught bell's love

archie one of his men and on their way to their trial they were caught by vigilantes and hanged before they could even stand trial after archie's death bell unfortunately fell into a deep depression she began to drink heavily and unfortunately she ultimately took an overdose of poison in an attempt to take her own life but a doctor managed to get to her just in time to save her from death but um she basically was like a changed woman after that um she stopped caring about her reputation her honor her wealth she was basically filled with this like vengeful desire to kill boone may the guy the group of vigilantes who killed her love uh for taking him away from her but instead of getting revenge on them she just kind of kept on this path of drinking and depression and she fell

deeper and deeper into the state and let everything else fall to the wayside um it's very tragic story and although in the past she had been publicly admired, her affiliation with like Archie and these roadside robbers kind of turned public opinion on her because they were like, well, why would we side with her? Even though she ran this great establishment, like she was promoting and helping all these people get robbed on the side of the road for her own benefit. on the side of the road for her own benefit um and so she wasn't even at this point pitied by anybody in town who could have like stepped in and helped her um so she was just kind of left to her own devices and as a last resort she was given an official order to leave the black hills of south dakota and never return which is interesting because she was she took that offer once to leave missouri and return until the war was over. If she feels like so, I guess, outcast in this area, why wouldn't she just leave and go change her name again or something?

I think she just had lost that will to be a big personality. I think she just kind of didn't care about her reputation anymore. She just didn't want to pursue that but she was kicked out of town so in 1870 she did move to leadville colorado and opened a dance hall that was apparently quite stylish and successful but she didn't stay long she began to drift through nevada new mexico a Arizona, and she just couldn't bring herself to bring that to find that same charm and allure that she didn't have. She wasn't using the X factor anymore. Yeah.

Yeah. It's almost like it didn't matter as much anymore. Like she had lost that. And so she didn't bring that to her new businesses. And so they didn't fare as well as they had in the past. businesses and so they didn't fare as well as they had in the past um it also didn't help that along the way she had picked up a new habit called smoking opium oh that's quite a habit quite a habit uh and that's not that's not just like a that's not a making xenon and paper mache situation oh yeah it's not even just a hobby it's's like a, yeah, full on detrimental habit. And she was also still drinking quite heavily. So pretty soon her mind, her health and her beauty, which obviously doesn't matter, except that that's what she used to kind of, you know, like lure people and influence men and make her businesses successful all of that kind of

was how she made her whole lifestyle yeah yeah her whole like presentation basically was compromised and so kind of her businesses just didn't succeed like they used to so bell was arrested near death uh unfortunately in 1881 in san francisco and she was brought to the hospital ward of a san francisco prison where a chaplain urged her to ease her conscience by confessing the story of her past and for the first time ever in this moment bell finally pieced together the facts of her life and told the story of her journey from southern bell to civil war spy to blackjack dealer and now to here in this prison in 1881 oh yeah so bell siddons died in jail in 1881 she was only 41 years old very young there are no specifics as to where she's buried but it's probably in the golden gate

cemetery in san francisco and to this day belson's is memorialized actually in a local parade in deadwood south dakota where she rides alone in a carriage dressed in luxurious robes and feathers or somebody you know representing her obviously yeah with diamonds and rubies, maybe. With diamonds and rubies in their hair. Aw. Also, sorry, I know you said that she died at 41. I was just like, I feel like she sounds like she lived such a life. A full life. I guess maybe if you, what year was, this was the 1800s?

Yeah, yeah. So she died in 1881. And we don't know what year, but she was born in the 1830s so i guess if we know that she died i think all of it's kind of an estimate i also like i always think like oh well they died so young but then i'm like back then people started their lives so much earlier like maybe she was just like out running around at 12 or something right like people people started yeah i feel like childhood maybe was shorter in a way uh in relative terms compared to now maybe um but yes she lived a very varied life a very uh it had quite a range it had had a range, for sure.

And so, you know, she had an interesting life. Again, if someone wants to make a movie about this, like, give me a ringer, you know? Get me on the horn. Yeah, the ringer, the horn, honk honk. I will honk from my bed. You'll hear me. Honk. Will honk for movie opportunity.

Will honk for next great screenplay um apparently in this note i put gemini horoscope because she was a gemini oh we don't know that she was a gemini do we uh maybe you did a different time but also interesting that it is i made it up i think i made up that she's a gemini well also well also, well, it's Gemini season. Maybe that's, was it Gemini season when you did this last time? No, January 20th. Oh, huh. I got nothing then. I think, I mean, even the fact that during this session of notes, you were like, oh, Christine, were we talking about that?

I feel like you were like talking about me in this context. I was talking about earlier today. I don't know, like charm school and all that. Well, I was talking about Gemini season about how you, what'd you call yourself? You called yourself spontaneous to a detriment.

Yeah. And then I said, Oh, and then you said that's, that's pretty, cause I said that it is to personality. And that was about me doing this, these notes.

So it wasn't really about the story it was just huh sometimes i feel like when we have conversations there's no full circles they just become like spider webs like because it feels like we ended up running back into a previous conversation but sometimes that previous conversation was from like 13 weeks ago and we finally just finished it i'm like oh see oh, see, it all connects. And you're like, well, those are like, I think it doesn't really make sense where we. It connects all the way back to 2019. Oh, yeah. OK. You remember. We finally finished that. And then someone on Twitter is invariably like,

oh, yeah, I remember it's episode 222. And we're like, oh, OK, perfect. See, we knew. Oh, okay. Perfect. See, we knew. Wow. Okay. So I did write a Gemini horoscope. I assume I just decided she was a Gemini based on her many faces. Like her Geminis are often described as like being two-faced and kind of like the fact that she was a spy and was using her quote unquote charm to like elicit basically gossip and then tell it to the other people that does feel like something both of us would not totally deny wanting to do ourselves yeah like clearly we were drawn to her for a reason and i again not in the context of war obviously but like you know i mean it's i feel like it fits kind of. So I guess I got a Gemini, what I back then called a horoscope. So I'll just read it. And this was of the day that

I announced the story or told the story in St. Louis. So here we go. Volcanic eruptions? Question mark. The ego driven sun and volatile Uranusus uranus how do you say that i well i i think everyone wants to say uranus but i think the right way is actually uranus okay i've started saying uranus because i just like couldn't even i didn't want to go there okay the ego because one's uranus and one's urine they. They're not much better. Yeah. Like, yeah. Just change your whole name, you planet. Just change your name to Lur... What was her name? Lorraine.

Luranus. Luranny. Wait. Luranus. What was her... Luranus. Stupid. Okay.

The ego-driven sun and volatile Loranis could get rivalries and group conflicts boiling like hot lava is your own urge to micromanage turning a collaboration into a dictatorship uh and then this is for us apparently been thinking of launching a blog or a podcast for us apparently been thinking of launching a blog or a podcast do something toward that in the next two weeks honestly it's the one thing she never did oh and honestly maybe she lives on through us you know yeah oh 100 uh at least only in that way in that way only in that way only to be clear um wow no wonder you found that uh horoscope online you were like that'll do i was like honestly good guess is any that she was born in the month of end of may or june yep you never know so anyway that's the story of southern bell bell siddons slash Mrs. Vestibule or something.

Mrs. Vestibule. Slash Lorraine. Loranus. Lurleen. Lurleen. That's what it was. Lurleen. She's got a bunch of names.

She's got three names. My story had three different names. True. Everyone loves a nickname this week. And we're technically ending Gemini season now. But as we record this, we're still in it. Right. So like.

Going out with a bang, you know, at least we are by the time everyone's listening to this. I don't know. But you and I are for sure. This is the last day of Gemini season. I feel like as people listen to this, like just know that um we held on to it as long as we possibly could we sure did white knuckled white knuckled it knuckle and buckle well that was you know what that one made me feel really safe christine and i appreciate it because i know next week is gonna be a yeah and that's a thing i just want to warn everybody i wanted to do a buffer before i

really dove into that one and it's it's it's rough so my only request is after next week you give us another light-hearted bantery one again because great because whoa this is i'm already nervous i'm gonna maybe eat cheesecake next week afterwards as why don't we just order cheesecake afterward why don't we order cheesecake before good idea and after i know what i'm doing now you're talking i've been talking this whole time you're just finally listening okay well uh good job christine that was a that was a tasty a tasty morsel of a story oh thank you m good job t2 thank you i i can't wait to tell you more alien things next week me too oh yeah what are you up to for the rest of the day anything good you know um drinking wine recording two patreon chats bonus bonus after chats with you ah and then I am just chillaxing at

Shay ATWWD HQ at Gio's Castle Gio's Castle that's the one and that's why we drink